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It's dead quiet and completely still, but Kat's been in scarier places than this. A lone cicada makes a valiant attempt at trilling, but soon, the woods die down into silence again.
"Kat? Are you out there?" She can barely make it out but it's Dylan, Kat's guessing. Wondering if she's gotten herself killed in the forest like one of the deer. Or finally left for good, to get out of everyone's hair.
"Kat?"
Kat counts ten heartbeats, and the voice doesn't call again. She picks up a rock and throws it at the nearest tree. It misses.
--
Two hours ago
"I don't know," Nora says, gesticulating with her hands the way she does, eyes blown wide like this conversation about favorite colors is the most interesting thing that's happened to her in her entire life. Maybe it is. "I mean, green just has this - vibe to it, right? Calming, and it's everywhere in nature. But I'm really drawn to yellow too. Like, think about it. It's the color of sunset, and fire, and like- the sun, I guess?, and... well, I just think those things are important, so it might as well be my favorite."
"I didn't put that much thought into mine," Autumn laughs. It bounces off the dilapidated walls of the cabin, sinking into the old wood and making a home there. "Like, does it have to mean something? Maybe it just gives you a good feeling. Reminds you of ... home, or something."
Kat lets their discussion wrap around her as she floats in the lull of their voices. She feels her eyes close - she thinks she's smiling. The expression feels a little misplaced, like it had gotten lost on its way to another face, but she lets herself feel it, soak in it. The voices blend into a hum, occasionally interspersed with the sound of crickets.
The scene plays out like an old movie, played so many times it becomes burned into the screen - Nora cracking a bad joke, Autumn laughing despite herself, Swann's beaming smile. It makes Kat sick with want. And yeah, she has it now - but she wants it forever. The forever that she doesn't have.
"Kat? You okay?" A warm shoulder nudges hers.
Kat blinks her eyes open, meeting Swann's concerned gaze, and she quickly ducks her head to avoid it. "I'm fine. Just a bit tired," she responds. Not lying, not telling the truth, but somewhere in between, like how everything was starting to feel these days, trapped in the waking world between dreams and a nightmare. Suddenly, the cabin feels suffocating. Too warm, too bright. Three flames burning steadily, the smoke filling the room. Kat abruptly stands, makes a show of yawning and stretching her arms up above her head. "I should get going," she says. "Dylan's gonna send a search team out for me if I'm gone any longer. You know how my family gets."
Nora's only halfway through a drawn-out awwwww mannnn when- "I'll walk you home," Swann says quickly, rising to her feet in one smooth motion, camcorder already packed. Swann's clear-eyed gaze meet hers again, and, again, Kat turns away. The way Swann looks at her makes her blood crawl, her bones itch, her heart pound with the life it doesn't have left to live. Something has to give, but Swann holds her gaze steady, so Kat reaches for the door.
"It's fine. I don't want to be a burden," and the moment it leaves her mouth she knows she's made a mistake.
"Never!" Nora says, loud, and Kat winces, furrows her brow, but Autumn echoes it, indignant, and she sees Swann open her mouth too so Kat just leaves, swinging the door shut behind her and inhaling deep until the forest air settles in her ribs.
In.
Out.
There's probably some commotion inside. Kat can't hear anything over the sound of her heartbeat, rabbit-fast, pounding like it's running from itself.
--
Swann catches up to her. She always does.
"Kat! I'm sorry," and Kat wants to shake Swann and tell her to never, ever apologize, not to anyone, especially not to her. "I- we didn't mean to get loud, or anything. Sorry about that."
"Why did you follow me out here?" Kat says instead of responding properly. She wraps her arms around herself so Swann can't see her shoulders shake.
Swann's eyebrows knit together and Kat watches her thumb worry at the hem of her shirt. The motion is unconscious, entrancing in its repetition. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay," Swann says. "You left like..."
Like something was chasing me , Kat thinks. "I'm sorry for worrying you," she says instead. "I didn't mean to- I just got so, it just got a bit much. Sorry," she finishes, a little lamely. Dead branches crunch under her feet as she shuffles, awkward all of a sudden.
Swann exhales, and offers a smile, an olive branch. It's not cold enough for it to fog, far from it actually, but Kat imagines she can see Swann's breath swirl into smoke, rising until it disappears, melting into the trees. All of a sudden, in the middle of the woods with the moon casting shadows onto their faces, she feels small. Too small, like a baby bird kicked from its nest. A fallen fledgling looking at their first and last night sky, full of stars.
"You'll remember me, right?" Kat asks, all of a sudden, and cringes immediately. She doesn't know what compels her to say it. She hates how it sounds coming out of her mouth. But she has to say it, at least to put the words out there - maybe it'll change something in the air, so that this quiet night will last forever.
"Of course!" Swann smiles, coming close, bumping their shoulders together. "I'm only moving to Vancouver, it's not like I'm... disappearing from existence, or something. We'll call, and send letters, and then I'll come back next summer and show you all the new footage I've filmed."
Kat's heart clenches so hard she thinks it might stop. "Yeah," she hears herself respond as if from a distance, "I'm excited to see it." She shivers, the forest suddenly feeling cold. The wind whistling through the trees sounds like crying.
Swann notices, because she always notices. "You okay? You can have my jacket, if you want. It gets chilly at night, I usually stuff one in my bag if I'm staying out late with you and the others."
Kat smiles reassuringly, but she doesn't think the expression comes out right. You and the others. "It's fine. I should head home, anyways. Dylan's definitely already losing her mind looking for me before she gets in trouble with Mom and Dad."
"If you're sure," Swann says, brows furrowing, a crease between them that begs to be smoothed out with a careful, gentle hand. "You can always give it back next time we meet?" Kat shakes her head with a smile, and Swann stops pushing. "Okay. I'll - I'll see you soon, okay? Don't forget to finish those lyrics - I'm excited to hear them!"
Kat laughs at her eagerness. In the distance, she thinks she can hear someone calling her name, but it doesn't matter. "Don't get your hopes up too high about those lyrics," she says, but Swann rolls her eyes and waves a hand as if batting doubts away, as if she's sure it will be all she's dreamed of. "And you'd better get going too, don't get back too late yourself."
Swann smiles and waves a cheerful goodbye. As she leaves, the forest swallows her up in moments, leaving only moths and moonlight in her wake.
Kat turns, and walks until she crosses the fence back into Mikaelsen property. A curious buck sniffs in her direction from yards away, then returns to its midnight grazing. She thinks that maybe, if she strains her ears hard enough, she can hear voices floating her way from the distant woods. They're laughing, she realizes. And if she tries even harder, she can hear herself there, too, laughing along with them.
For a moment, she feels her heart pulse harder, defiant, beating a dancing tempo that pushes her forward. She knows, with certainty, that the oldest story ever told will repeat itself again tonight, and tomorrow, and the day after. That just as the moon will set, the sun will follow after it, and the moth will chase the flame,
forever.