Chapter Text
14/09/2018
I don’t usually do this kind of thing: writing stuff down, thinking about my day. Sounds like a pain, honestly. But since I don’t talk to anyone anyway, maybe this is better.
At least you won’t talk back.
I guess this is what people do when they don’t have anyone to share stuff with.
Not that I have anything interesting to share.
Anyway.
My name is Nagi Seishiro. I live alone, I go to school, second year of high school. That’s all.
I don’t have friends, I don’t go out, I’ve never fell in love with someone. I don’t like dealing with people.
Most of the time, I just play games on my phone, pubg and other online games mostly, the only interactions I have to deal with.
People exhaust me.
They talk too much, move too fast, and care about things that sounds like a hassle.
Like school rankings, or what club you’re in, or what your future looks like.
I don’t get it.
Sometimes I wonder what it’s like to actually want something. To chase it and fight for it.
But most of the time, I just want to lie down
The teachers say I have talent, whatever that means. Good reflexes and good coordination. But what’s the point if I don’t care?
I don’t feel anything when I do stuff.
Like, I could win or lose, and it wouldn’t matter.
Everything feels like a loop: wake up, go to school, come back, playing games with my phone, sleep.
Repeat, life is such an hassle.
Maybe that’s why I’m writing, maybe I’m hoping this will help me feel something new.
This is dumb, I’ll probably forget about this tomorrow.
But at least I’m not completely alone.
18/09/2018
Dear Diary,
That's how you start right?
Today was annoying.
Apparently, there’s this stupid rule at school that everyone has to participate in the inter-class ball-game tournament. Seriously? Even people like me, who don’t care? Sport events are an hassle to deal with.
So, they made me join the men’s volleyball team.
“You’re so tall, you should play” they said.
I didn’t even know the rules, still don’t, to be honest.
At first, all I had to do was stand still. The captain literally told me: “Don’t move. Just block the ball.”
Quite easy.
I blocked one ball without trying and suddenly everyone was like:
“Wow, amazing!”
“You’re so lucky!”
“You don’t even have to jump, what a cheat!”
Anyway, we kept winning. Reached the finals. People were shouting, cheering, sweating everywhere. I guess people care a lot.
In the last match, I actually tried—just a little. The ball was falling, no one was moving, so I kicked it back into the air.
It wasn’t a big deal, but everyone got surprised.
Honestly, I just didn’t want to lose and keep playing more matches.
I thought: “One more point and I can go home.”