Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sunflowers are a special type of flower, hyperaccumulators. They absorb toxic metals and purified them, sending fresh air into the system.

"Our little sunflower." Haley's parents always said.

Her dad had been a plant nerd, always gardening, and he would tuck a sunflower behind Haley's ear and kiss her forehead. "My sunflower." She would roll her eyes, call him cheesy, but a faint pink would taint her cheeks, refusing to dissipate no matter how much she told it to.

She always brightened up the room like; "a ray of sunshine" according to her mom. Whenever they were sad, like when grandma died, she would smile and say something, and everyone would laugh and thank her for lifting the mood. Either that or she'd get yelled at for "being insensitive." But she focused on the times she got a pat on the head for being sweet.

But now her parents were gone.

And she couldn't seem to make anyone smile like she used to.

The ice cream cone grew warm under her grip as she talked with Alex. "I still can't get it through my head it's summer."

"You always did have a thick skull." She mused and took a lick of the ice cream, propping herself up on his stand.

Alex looked at her from the corner of his eyes. "Be nice."

"Pft, what's the occasion?" Haley shot back.

"New farmer." He said, smug satisfaction on his face. Nothing ever happened other than one of Morris's stupid stunts every once in a while. Same faces, same stone and dirt paths. A new farmer was definitely unexpected. And unbelievable.

Another lick of the ice cream as Alex got another ready for her. "You're joking."

“I’m not. Moved here a few days ago, actually. Rumor is she hasn't left the farm yet, and every time Lewis checks on her she's hacking away at weeds. You think she's even slept?"

"I could care less." Haley scoffed.

"Couldn't."

Haley looked up to see a woman her age leaned against the bridge, smiling slightly. One hand held her up against the stone and the other held a barrel of blueberries to her hip.

“Pardon?"

"You said you could care less. That's not the phrase. Saying you could care less means you cared in the first place, and considering we haven't met yet, I'm assuming you don't." The farmer held their hand out for Haley to shake.

Haley didn't move, her face twisted in a grimace. "I don't shake people who don't wash their hands."

"I don't either, but I was willing to make an exception." The farmer muttered, putting her hands in her overall pockets.

"Pardon?" Haley repeated.

Without another word, the farmer turned away from Haley and set a few coins down on the table. "Ice cream, please. Just a vanilla."

Alex shrugged and handed her the one that he was going to give to Haley.

And as soon as she arrived, the farmer left.

"She's rude." Haley huffed, and under her breath she added; "Stole my ice cream."

Chapter Text

Sunflowers are like any other flower, their roots deeply planted in the ground, unmoving and stubborn until ripped up.

"Haley, please, please get up. Clean the cushions. I'm going to make dinner." Emily pleaded, her hands tightly clasped together.

The sisters fought far too much for either of their liking. It was almost always fruitless and ended in both of them putting off whatever they were fighting over. That was one thing Haley and Emily could bond over. Procrastination.

Haley's arms were crossed in her signature pose. "I--don't--want to." She put her legs up on the coffee table Emily had just scrubbed stains off of.

"Haley, you're being childish." Emily rubbed her nose as she sighed heavily. Something Haley was very used to. "I do the vast majority of work in this house, and you know it."

Haley didn't know why she was like the way she was. She certainly didn't like it, she didn't like making her sister mad, she didn't like being "mean", but it just happened.

There was a muted click and Haley heard the noise of the front door dragging across the carpet. The first thing Haley saw of the newcomer was small flecks of dirt scattered the carpet and she was able to form a guess on who it was.

"Am I interrupting something?" It was that stupid farmer girl, head cocked and eyebrows raised in curiosity. It made Haley's blood boil. 

"Yes, yes you are." Haley snapped her fingers which was followed by a motion to the door. "Leave."

Emily shot her a look. "Haley's just being a little stubborn. She's not usually like this--"

"Yes, I am."

"What are you arguing about?" The farmer asked, released the doorknob. Why did she care? It didn't affect her. If something didn't affect Haley, she didn't care. So what was so different about this new girl?

"Leave." Haley repeated.

Emily's face twisted into a forced smile, eyes squinting, lips facing downward despite her mouth being pushed up. "Haley just doesn't want to clean the under the couch cushions."

All Haley could add to the conversation was meaningless jabs--a fact that annoyed her to no end. "Cleaning is your job." She hoped to insert herself into the room more, even if it was as via a rude jab. At least she had someone's attention.

"And what's yours?" The farmer turned to Haley, a small triumphant smile on her face.

"I see you've taken your side in this conversation." With a huff, Haley stood up to storm dramatically off to her bedroom, maybe slide down the door like they did in movies, maybe sigh and shove her face into her pillow and have her hair dramatically envelop her.

Then she felt calloused fingers wrap around her wrist, gentle yet dirty. Emily's hands were always blistered from sewing, so Haley's jaw dropped when she sat it wasn't Emily that grabbed her hand.

Haley snatched her hand away from the farmer girl, shaking it like she'd been burned, the warm feeling on her hand matching the warm feeling on her face. "Don't touch me! Ew!"

The farmer girl ignored her remark. "Maybe there's a compromise to be made. This could be Haley's one weekly chore."

With a sigh, Haley stopped waving her hand. "...fine. Then they'll be no reason to argue anymore."

"Great!" The farmer clapped her hands together and turned to Emily. "Now, I brought you some materials for--"

Haley didn't listen to the rest of the conversation, because she was in her bedroom, busy thinking about why she blushed when the farmer grabbed her hand.

Chapter Text

"Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.

It's what sunflowers do."

-Helen Keller

Haley was as good at ignoring things she didn't like as much as she was good at makeup. Usually, she ignored Alex while he droned on about football players and their tight little shorts, or Emily when she demanded Haley do the dishes. Today, yesterday, and forever, she was ignoring the farmer.

It was small little encounters that Haley disliked so much. The farmer would wave at her from across the saloon and Haley would wrinkle her nose. The farmer would look at Haley when she stopped at the house for Emily, and Haley would respond by immediately standing up and going to her room.

But today's encounter was not one Haley could ignore easily considering she had just walked headfirst into the farmer who was holding a tub of raspberries, promptly lathering Haley head to toe in berry juices. "Watch where you're going!" Haley hissed.

The farmers eyes widened and her hands immediately went to wiping the juice off Haley's face, but in more accurate terms she was just smudging it. "I am so so so so sorry."

"I spent hours on this makeup and I actually thought this dress was decent!" Haley yanked her face away.

"I'll buy you a new dress." The farmer said quickly. "You can pick it out--"

Haley let out a choking noise that was supposed to be a scoff but raspberries were getting in her nose, which made it very difficult to stay calm. "Like I'd be seen in public with you."

"It would ruin my reputation too, toots." The farmers eyes rolled, looking at the Pierre's store behind Haley.

That woman didn't even have the audacity to look Haley in the eyes.

Her hands went back up to brush berries off Haley's shoulder but Haley yanked away again. "Ew, you'll get me dirty! You're covered in dirt, I don't need that on me too."

"I am not covered in dirt. I don't know who you think you are honey, but you have no right to judge others bodies. These right here are freckles." The farmers nose wrinkled in disapproval. "You do know what freckles are, correct?"

"What do you take me for, an idiot?" Haley laughed bitterly.

The farmer was silent, chin wrinkled as her cheeks puffed up with poorly suppressed giggles.

"Hey!"

"Sorry, sorry." With a wave of her hand the farmer dismissed her disrespect and began to rummage through her pockets for money. "How'd twenty bucks for the dress would?"

"Great, I could get a nice bra at Goodwill with that money." Haley sneered.

"Whatever. Your sister sews, don't she?"

Haley matched the farmer's disapproving expression. "That girl knows nothing about fashion. She'd made me something straight out of Dance Moms."

"How hard is it for you to say something positive?"

"Very."

"Good to know you're such a stellar person." Farmer mumbled sarcastically, giving up completely and handing Haley her entire wallet. It was a surprisingly fancy leather-bound type but not any brand Haley recognized.

"You do not get to insult my person like that!"

The sun shifted under the clouds, shining into the farmers eyes. While she shielded her face she spoke. Her hand cast a shadow across her face. A glint of sunlight sparkled in the farmers eyes as she gave another stupid remark. "You're not doing yourself many favors."

"Watch this! Watch me compliment you." Haley thought for a moment. "Hmm... If it weren’t for those clothes you might actually be pretty cute."

Mirth finally burst free from the farmers lips. Haley had expected an evil-ice-cream stealing cackle to escape the farmer, but Haley was disappointed to hear it was the opposite. It wasn't loud, the only sign she was laughing was the occasional wheeze and her face, which was scrunched up, eyebrows knitted together. "Yet another person who wants my clothes off."

Haley's face felt as hot as her curling iron despite the cool berries still coating her skin. "That's not what I meant and you know it!"

The farmer opened her mouth to no-doubt piss Haley off more but a bee buzzed by, investigating the juice on Haley's hair, prompting a high pitched scream from the blonde.

Again came the wheeze laugh from the farmer. "That's not the type of bee that stings. Little fella won't do a thing to you."

The bee flew right by Haley's ear and Haley whipped around to avoid the noise (which was almost as annoying as the farmers laugh) and she saw her house down the street in the middle of her frantic motions. Right. She needed to go home and shower. Not talk with the country bumpkin.

Haley thought for a moment before deciding the other woman didn't deserve the decency of a goodbye.

The door to Haley and her sister's home clicked open and closed behind Haley. Back when they first got that door as a replacement for an old one that had stemmed mold her parents had set up a bell that rang when the door opened so whoever just came in could be bombarded with hugs and kisses. All Haley got now was a call from Emily to do her laundry.

The shower felt good on Haley's skin and she liked watching the red and purple fruit discharge swirl around the drain. She soaked in the bath a little bit afterwards too and when she got out she prayed to Yoba Emily wouldn't lecture her about the ring of color she had left in the tub.

Haley liked her room. It was a strict "her" zone. Only Haley. Not even Alex was allowed in. In all honesty, Haley had only implemented that rule because as kids Alex wouldn't let her in his treehouse. Though, Haley got her vengeance when the barbells he'd drudged up there weighed it down enough that it collapsed in on itself.

Clearly from the arguing with Emily about chores, cleaning was not Haley's thing. The only thing Haley could stand to organize was her vanity. All her nail polish's lay out in front of her in color order, her eyeshadow and blush tucked away in a drawer away from the fan Haley had tucked in the corner's cruel breeze.

When Haley was dressed, she sat down on her stool, staring at herself in the mirror. Her makeup was gone now. Now she was just Haley. Now was the part where she contemplated life instead of just fashion.

Freckles.

Haley didn't have freckles, but she had moles. Cursed, evil moles that didn't come off no matter how many times she'd scrubbed. In her teen years after her parents disappeared she'd scrubbed at her skin where the brownish black dots sat until she was missing a few layers of skin. They had left because she wasn't perfect enough. She wasn't their little sunflower, she hadn't given enough.

Haley knew she had to go to bed soon, get her beauty rest, and that sleeping in makeup was stupid (teen her had also learned that the wrong way) but Haley just wanted to look pretty before she went to bed.

Pretty. Pretty meant no moles, no freckles.

Pretty meant concealer.

After a few minutes of masking her imperfections with powder, she looked at herself in the mirror, hoping to find some satisfaction.

She didn't know what she felt, but it wasn't satisfaction.

One thing she did still feel was the farmers hands on her face, wiping at the berry juice she had spilt.

Chapter Text

Once you plant your sunflower seeds, the germination phase of the flower’s life cycle will begin. During germination, roots will develop from the seed and a shoot will push through the surface of the soil.

Pelican Town's people moved with the sun. When the sun dipped below the hills in the distance the townsfolk dipped into their homes and tents, only a few exempt from that routine. Haley was not one of those people.

She always left her blinds open so that the light flooded her room and woke her up when the day started. By the time the sun rose, Pierre's was opening up, Marnie's was opening up, and by the time Haley would be ready peoples feet would be pounding against the stone of the square.

With a groan, Haley flipped on the lights and rolled out of bed.

At about 10AM she finally padded her way over to the kitchen. When she opened the cabinets for some food the cabinets creaked, no doubt alerting her sister of her presence in the other room. But instead of her sister turning the corner it was a different familiar face.

"Haley?"

Haley's face assumed a shocked expression. Haley wasn't wearing makeup. Haley didn't have her fancy clothes. Haley was just Haley. And for some reason it bothered her even more that the farmer was seeing her like this.

"What are you doing in my house?" She looked to the side towards the stove in an attempt to cover more of her face. The stove had dirty dishes piled on top of it so high it almost reached the hood.

"I came here for Emily." The farmer shrugged, taking a step forward. "It's ten, so I thought she would be up and you wouldn't be. Getting your beauty sleep and all."

Maybe it was because Haley felt so bare that the farmer looked less ugly by comparison. A lot less ugly.

Haley's eyes darted around until she saw something she could do with her hands. The cold of the jar she had grabbed smothered her hands with condensation, making it very hard to twist it open.

"Having trouble there?" The farmer smiled softly, hands on her hips.

"You-!" Haley started and then her eyes drifted down to the farmers arms. It must have been from working on the farm, but she was ripped.

Haley had decided a long time ago that she wasn't attracted to muscles. Alex had shown her pictures he'd printed out of football players a while ago and he seemed more into them than she was. But for some reason Haley was questioning her past conclusion, which was odd considering the farmer was a girl and Haley didn't like girls, or women, or females, or any of the sort. She couldn't even say she liked herself.

Haley inhaled. "I do need help. You look strong enough, mind opening this for me?" She cherished the shocked expression on the farmers face.

"You can admit you need help? So you're not beyond fixing."

"Har har, take the jar."

"Ooh, and she rhymes too."

"I hate you."

"You're not the first."

The farmer slid the lid of the jar with practiced ease and handed it back to Haley. "Back on the farm, I'm shoving fruits into jars all the time."

"Like the fruits you spilt on me yesterday?" Haley questioned.

"Precisely."

Haley fought the urge to laugh, but she absolutely refused to give the farmer that satisfaction.

For a moment, Haley almost put her guard down. She almost forgot she wasn't with Emily or Alex, she almost forgot she wasn't wearing makeup.

"Thanks, I guess. You're not so bad." Haley muttered.

"Didn't you just say you hated me?"

"Listen here, farmer girl-" Haley was cut off by the farmers giggle.

Chapter Text

The lower leaves of a sunflower are often heart shaped.

The only thing Haley had in common with the black haired boy up in the mountains was they both came down to the beach just as the sun hit the water. He came later than Haley did but it served as something they both could agree on when their moms forced them to talk at the stupid festivals. The beach was awesome.

It was cheesy and typical to say she loved the sand under her feet, but she couldn’t deny it was true.

Water sprinkled against her face as she stood on the shore with her feet just barely in the water. Occasionally the waves would lap up against her calves and so she had to hold her skirt up so it didn’t get wet. It was actually a skirt Haley’s parents had gotten her before they left. The need to still be able to wiggle her way into the skirt was one of the driving forces for her desperation to stay small or at least decently small. When Haley ever felt the urge to eat things out of her diet she went to the beach. Fish were gross, and that made her less hungry. She’d practically mastered the art of not being hungry anymore, but she still went to the beach. Haley had a lot of small motivators to stay thin, including the bracket given to her by her great grandmother. As long as the bracelet fit on her wrist, she was happy with her body.

There was something about the sun that made her feel so good.

When she readjusted her grip on her skirt she realized that her bracelet was gone.

She stifled a swear and scanned the sand for it. Her gaze glided across the beach towards the place where the town met the entrance of the beach where she the Farmer standing there, an eyebrow raised quizzically. “Looking for someone?”

”Not you.” Haley spat. “I lost my bracelet.”

Haley wasn’t expecting the Farmers expression to crumble. “Oh. I’m sorry that happened.”

”S’okay. Maybe it’ll wash up on another shore. I can’t bear to think of it at the bottom of the ocean.” Haley mumbled.

The farmer shuffled her feet.

Why was Haley about to cry? It didn’t even matter that much. “It was from my great grandmother.”

Again, the farmer shuffled her feet.

When Haley looked over the farmer was walking away. What a shit friend, if she even qualified as that.

Haley sniffled.

She inhaled sharply, her eyes downcast towards her toes in the sand. Minutes passed and Haley just stood there. Why did she feel so filthy? Her wrist felt light. She felt tears in her eyes.

Haley took another breath and turned her back from the seemingly endless sea to go home and maybe cry. What she had not expected to find behind her was the Farmer knee deep in sand. The farmer was scooping sand up in her hands and tossing it off to the side before she scanned the contents she had just revealed. She was coated in mud and sand but her expression was determined.

"Ew! What are you doing?" Haley exclaimed and took a step back in fear the farmer was about to throw sand at her. Alex had taught her to always be afraid of people with dirt in their hands.

The farmer didn't even look up. "I'm going to find your bracelet."

That was so...gross. But also very thoughtful. But mostly gross.

"If it's been that deep in the sand I don't want it." Haley huffed despite the fact that her eyes followed the farmers hands as they combed the ground.

"Yes, you do." The farmer responded. "You look sad."

"That doesn't mean anything to you."

"But it does." She continued to dig, dirt worming under her nails. "You looked sad, this bracelet clearly meant a lot to you."

Haley huffed. "Most people would think I'm spoiled for crying over a lost bracelet."

"Feelings are confusing. We can't stop them, so we have to work around them or work it out." When the farmer had a break in her burrowing she looked up to smile softly at Haley. With the sun setting and the light rays bouncing off the lake, the farmer almost looked pretty. The farmer was so dirty. Rustic, was more accurate. Roguish, even more so. It wasn't Haley's first experience with people who had no self respect for their hygiene, she'd met Linus and was friends with Alex, but on the farmer it was so much more different. She wasn't dirty in a way that was revolting. It was more... what was the platonic way of saying attractive?

Haley was tempted to squat down and help the farmer rummage around, but she didn't want to ruin her manicure or her heels. "You don't have to do this."

Instead of the normal response people would usually give when people said that the farmer responded with a shrug. "No one really ever has to do anything, but we do."

Haley rolled her eyes. "Okay, Socrates."

"Do you even know who that is?" The farmer cocked an eyebrow and looked at Haley skeptically.

"Is it because I'm blonde?" Haley wasn't offended per-say, but she wanted to defend her honor. She knew the farmer was joking, but that familiar need to defend herself rose in her again. "People always think I'm stupid because I'm blonde--"

"I found it!" The farmer quickly stood up, the bracelet clenched in between her fingers.

"Oh my Yoba." Haley's hands flew to the farmers shoulders, one hand gripping it tightly and the other sliding down the farmers arm to her hand. She grabbed the bracelet and smiled when she felt the familiar weight of the bracelet on her wrist. "Thank you, you're an angel, I won't forget this--" Haley didn't think before pulling the farmer into a tight hug, crushing her head into the crook of the farmers neck.

The farmer chuckled softly. "It was no problem, Haley." Her hand rubbed Haley's back.

"I won't forget this." Haley repeated.

They just hugged for a few more moments before the farmer broke the silence. "This is off topic," The farmer retracted her arm. "But you look really nice today, even more than usual." The pad of her thumb brushed against Haley's cheek.

A warm sensation took over Haley's face and she felt the sudden urge to shove the farmer away. "Thanks, I guess." It wasn't the first time she'd had her looks complimented, and it wouldn't be the last, but it felt different when the farmer did it. Everything was different when the farmer did it.

The farmer took Haley's hand in hers, oblivious to Haley's discomfort, if that's what it even was. "You should tighten the bracelet so it doesn't fall off again." She fiddled with the band until she found the strings she needed to pull to tighten it around Haley's wrist. "I'd prefer not to get in the dirt to find it again."

"You're...that's sweet."

"So I'm guessing you forgive me for spilling berries on you?" The farmer gave a small nervous smile.

Haley laughed. "I forgave you when you opened the jar for me."

"See? I'm not a piece of shit."

"That's still up for debate."

The farmer through her head back and snickered. "Whatever."

Light scattered across the farmers face. Her freckles were very visible, and they looked even less like dirt than when Haley first met her. Haley couldn't imagine having so many marks on her face that she could never wash off. But they seemed more bearable now, just a part of your face. They kind of looked nice on the farmer.

"Have a good night, Haley." The farmer fully pulled away and took a step back.

"I-I will. You too."

She offered a small smile. "If you ever need anything, I'll be on my farm."

After the farmer left, Haley stood there for a while later.

With the sun fully dipping behind the water the entire valley was cast in darkness. Usually Haley would be back at the house with Emily by now, but there was some things on her mind.

The farmers touch lingered on her skin like cold iron. Why had that felt so weird? Like when you touched a door handle and it shocked you. Like little butterflies in her stomach, but Haley knew that was the wrong descriptor. Maybe it was because the farmer was kind of Haley's first female friend and that was just different than being friends with Alex.

There was something about the farmer that was so relaxed, so at peace with herself, something Haley herself couldn't master. A tad bit of jealousy stirred in her gut.

Years ago Haley had decided she didn't like Alex like that. There was supposed to have been some kind of shock, some euphoria or blushing, but there wasn't. If anything, Alex was like a brother to her. A really dumb brother.

But the farmer made her feel exactly like how she thought she would feel with Alex.

But that was just because the farmer was her first female friend since childhood, it had to be. Haley didn't-

"You're out late." Alex's familiar voice sounded behind her. "Something on your mind?"

"Yeah, actually." Haley was grateful for his presence. He always knew how to calm her down or pick her up, depending on what she needed. "That new farmer girl is weird."

Alex tilted his head and took out his phone flashlight so they could see each other. "She's not even really new anymore. She's lived here for like a month. Have you been talking to her?"

"Mhm. And I don't know anything about her." Haley sighed and rubbed in between her eyes.

"And you want to know more about her?"

"I don't--mm. Maybe. She's not insufferable. More bearable than you." Haley nudged him.

"You're literally begging for me to throw sand at you, huh?"

"I fucking knew you would!" Haley laughed and lightly shoved him.

Alex thought for a moment, which must've been hard for him. "You think she can throw a football? She's a girl, so probably not, right? Sam is the only other dude who's built enough to play with me and he's busy making googoo eyes at Sebastian."

Haley turned to look fully at her friend. "And that bothers you?"

"This isn't about me." Alex chuckled. "Come on, I'll walk you home. It's dark."

"Thanks." Haley smiled softly.

Alex slipped his jacket over Haley's shoulders and walked her home. Alex was an idiot, but he had enough emotional maturity to tell Haley didn't want to talk much anymore, so he stayed silent.

They reached Haley's house and he took his jacket back, ruffled her hair and ran off with a giggle. He was lucky her hair was already ruined because it was the end of the day, or she would've chased after him, even if she was in heels.

She got home, wiped her makeup off, slipped into clean clothes and went to bed. But the farmers touch still lingered.

Chapter Text

The Greeks explained the story of the sunflower always looking towards the sun in the version of a romance. A prince turned into a flower, always turning to face his lover, the sun.

The moment her head hit her pillow and her body hit the smooth satin of her mattress, Haley was gone. Not dead, but she was so deep in sleep she might as well have been, the only sign of life being the rise and fall of her chest. A few times, her sister peeked her head into the room to check on her, and every time Haley was in a new position on the bed.

On one side of Haley's cheek was the pillow. And the other was the touch of the farmer.

She was back on the beach. Everything was different then she remembered, but the at the same time nothing had changed. Maybe the sun was higher than before, maybe lower, maybe the sand was rougher on her feet, or maybe she had been wearing shoes.

The cool sensation of pearls meeting the inside of Haley's wrist almost made her shiver as the farmer slipped the bracelet around her hand. "You look beautiful."

"Don't I always?" Haley laughed and gave her one of the most charming smiles she could manage. But her confidence was belayed by the warm flush on her cheeks, warming her from the cold of the night air. Had it been night a moment ago? The sun must have set.

The farmer smiled softly. "You do. And you also look cold."

And then the farmer walked Haley back to her house and around the bus stop let Haley loan her jacket. "You look cold."

Heels met the wood of Haley's porch, and a kiss ended the night.

Haley woke with a start, or more accurately, a snort into her pillow.

Just a stupid dream. Emphasis on stupid. Everything had been inconsistent, Haley hadn't said that, the farmer hadn't been the one to walk her home, the farmer hadn't been the one to give her the jacket.

And Haley and the farmer certainly hadn't kissed.

God, must've been a nightmare then. Haley would never want to kiss the farmer. Why would she do that? Haley has been curious about kissing girls before because there wasn't many options when it came to men in Pelican Town, but Haley had always dismissed it as desperation.

But she had never dreamed about it before. Odd.

The dream made her dwell on the farmer again. Despite the dream/nightmare entirely revolving around her and the farmer on the beach Haley was just now processing the fact that the farmer had done that. Why had the farmer done that?

There were certain people who found joy in helping other people, and Haley wondered if the farmer was one of those. Haley didn't think she was, though. There were more important things to do. Besides, there were people like the farmer out there to be nice for her. But who knew? Maybe things had changed. Haley was feeling inspired.

"Emily, can I borrow money? Just a small bit." Haley asked, fishing through the junk drawer for spare pennies.

With a comically long sigh, Emily handed a wad of money wrapped in string to her. "You need to get a job."

"I'll pay you back, I swear." Haley promised, shoving the money into her skirt pocket. It was one of the only clothing items Emily had made for her, and it only passed Haley's intense evaluations because Haley had been over Emily's shoulder the whole time, barking orders. Long story short, she had a new pretty skirt with pockets. "I've been feeling especially helpful lately."

The money had barely covered the purchase. In the end, Haley walked out of Pierre's with a bag of sunflower seeds in between her hip and her arm. She hadn’t gone into Pierre’s in forever. The last time she went she got as many hair and face care products as birthday money from her grandparents in the cities could buy and hadn’t needed to go back since.

Thankfully Haley knew her way to the farmers house thanks to the bus stop marking the place before you reached it. The bus had been broken for years now, it was a sorry sight to see.

She walked the path to the bus stop back when she used to ride it to Zuzu, or when Emily went to hangout with her girlfriend, Sandy. Haley could always feel the tension between them and had no idea how to feel about it. As much as Haley was rude to her sister sometimes, she did love her and loved seeing her happy with Sandy. Haley had never met anyone who dated someone of the sex before and the idea bothered her. But seeing her sister smile and blush made her rethink things like that. She supposed if people were happy, that would be fine, even if Haley would never date another girl herself.

Haley had planned to keep going until she reached the farmers house, but didn’t need to because the farmer was right at the bus stop. Her heels dug into the ground as she pulled herself to an abrupt halt in front of the farmer. The bus was in working order, Pam in the drivers seat looking happier than Haley had ever seen her.

“Hey.” The farmer had their hands on their hips, staring proudly at the bus. “You see this? Don’t tell anyone, but I fixed this bus.”

“Wait, really? It appeared overnight. How’d you manage that?” Haley scrunched her face together in confusion. “I don’t know much about construction or fixing cars or—really anything that’ll chip my nails.”

The farmer laughed. Haley felt proud of herself for doing that. That smile, Haley did that. But she felt the same way when she made Alex laugh, so it really didn’t surprise her considering the farmer was her friend now. Just different. She just was.

“A magician never reveals her secrets.” The farmer tilted her head towards Haley followed by a teasing smirk.

“I bet you can’t even do a card trick.”

“How much do you bet?” The farmer gave Haley a glare. “Or in other terms, how much do you plan on losing?”

“Shut up, I brought you a gift, don’t make me haul it back to Pierre’s.”

The farmers hands dropped from her hips and she turned to look at Haley completely. “Pardon?”

Haley cleared her throat. “Here.” She shoved the sack into the farmers arms. “They’re sunflower seeds. I like sunflower, and you do stuff with seeds, so I dunno it— why are you laughing?”

Her voice was loud and clear when she answered, an expression Haley had never seen in the farmers eyes before appearing. “That’s so sweet.”

“Don’t act so shocked, I can do nice things too.”

“The first thing you ever said to me was that I was dirty.” The farmer deadpanned. “I’m shocked that your highness would even want to talk to me.”

Haley tried to hide the actual hurt in her expression. She wasn’t dumb. She knew everyone in town thought she was a spoiled brat, but it hurt knowing they all thought of her like that. It hurt knowing the farmer thought of her like that. But she deserved it. She had been rude to the farmer, rude to really everyone and the farmer had complete warrant over the fact she was surprised Haley had a heart. It shocked even Haley sometimes.

“Well, even I can stoop down to peasant levels sometimes.” Haley said snappishly.

The farmer noticed her expression. “I didn’t mean—“

“You know what? It’s fine. Take the gift. It’s a thank you for helping me find my bracelet.” She shoved it forward into the farmers arms and took a step back. A few minutes ago, Haley was in a great mood, but with the farmer it was like all her emotions were amplified tenfold, positive and negative.

The woman’s expression was still slightly guilty, but she brushed it off. “Help you find it? I did most of the work.” Her voice didn’t seem as joyful as before.

This was no different from Alex’s teasings, or Emily’s complaints, but it hurt so much more coming from the farmer. “I know. I know, I’m sorry. It was my bracelet, I should have been the one to find it instead of being a lazy good for nothing mooch and—“

“Woah, woah, woah.” The farmer dropped the sack of seeds and planted her hands on Haley’s shoulders. “I never said that. This is a very sweet, nice gift. And I’m going to one up your thank you by thanking you for the gift you gave me as a thank you. You following?”

Haley nodded, thought for a moment, and then shook her head.

“I’m asking you if you want to go on a picnic with me.”

“What?”

“It’s summer! The weathers great, my animals are fed, my crops are—“ the farmer did a little happy dance in a voice a few octaves higher; “thriving. Perfect for a little girl time, yeah?”

“You’d actually want to?”

The farmers expression was dead serious. “I wouldn’t be asking you if I didn’t, silly.”

Haley couldn’t fathom why she would want to. “You just called me a spoiled uptight brat.”

“Just kiss me if you’re going to put things in my mouth.” She rolled her eyes.

A very warm sensation crawled up Haley’s throat like a spider making a nest in her brain. And now not only was she mad at herself for blushing, she was mad at herself for thinking of that metaphor because spiders creeped her the fuck out. “Kiss you?”

“Just a phrase, Haley. All I meant to tell you is that you blew things out of proportion. I never called you a—what was it?”

“Spoiled uptight brat?”

“—spoiled uptight brat. I never said that.”

“I could see it in your eyes! You were probably blinking it in Morse code.”

“I don’t even know Morse code!”

“Neither do I! That’s why I stuck in the ‘probably’ when I accused you!”

By now they had both forgotten what they had been arguing about but continued the conversation in that tone because no one really said anything that would make them stop.

“Are you gonna go on the picnic with me or not?!”

“I am!”

“What time?!”

“Whenever works for you!”

“Tomorrow! At noon!”

“Great!”

“I’ll see you there!”

“I can’t wait!”

Then Haley turned away from the farmer and walked back to her house.

Whenever Haley had a date, she always invited Alex over because he was a guy, and he knew what guys liked so they could pick out the perfect outfit and makeup. Obviously, Haley didn’t have a date, this was just her hanging out with a friend she was trying to get to know more. So why did it feel so important to her?

“Blue or pink dress?” Haley held the dresses by their hangers, shoving the, in Alex’s face. “If I do the blue dress I’ll do pink lipstick, blue eyeshadow, and my blue shoes so they alternate. But if I do the pink dress, I can’t do blue lipstick because blue lipstick is the type of thing Abigail would probably wear, and I do not wanna be confused with Abigail. So the blue dress would be the most logical, right? But I like pink more than blue so I—“

It was a tradition Alex was very much used to. Once a month, Haley would get worked up about a dude, say some nonsense about how she would finally click with someone, and then spew more nonsense about getting ready and makeup. Alex considered himself to be very well versed in the realm of makeup and earrings thanks to Haley. But she seemed so, so much more worked up about this ‘casual friend meetup’ than any of those real dates.

“Calm down, breathing is necessary.” Alex fanned her out and pulled her down onto the bed next to him. “You seem really nervous.”

“Why would I be? I’m not. I’m so not.”

“Hey, Haley, Haley. I’m stupid, remember? Talk me through how your feeling right now. Baby terms.” It was a strategy Alex had been using since the third grade. If there was one way to get Haley to talk, it was to get her started with insults.

“Stupid, got it.” She nodded. “God, I don’t know Alex. I don’t know why it’s any different then my dates. I mean, it’s not a date. If I had a date, it would be with a guy, obviously—“

“I think we found the source of our problem here.” Alex said. “Girls can date girls too. Doesn’t your sister have something going on with that redhead?”

“That’s different, because she’s my sister. I need to be accepting with her. I’m already such a jerk to her about chores, the least I can do is not be a jerk about this.”

“Why can’t you be more accepting to yourself? I know you hold yourself to high standards, but emotions aren’t a thing you can control. You don’t want to be a jerk to your sister about this but you’ll be a jerk to yourself about it. You are a lot of things, Haley, but you are not a hypocrite.”

She sniffled and he could see the burn behind her eyes. “I am a hypocrite!” And then she was crying. What about was lost along with her makeup. “Why do you even come over and talk to me when all I am is rude? The only reason I’m talking right now is because you invited me to be rude to get me to talk in the first place!”

This was about where Alex’s emotional maturity ran out. He talked to Haley because well, she got him like nobody else did. He’d never been able to pull an all-nighter with anyone but her because no one kept him entertained like she did. She was his best friend, through and through. But saying things were so much harder than thinking and even thinking was hard for him sometimes.

“You’re…fun to be around. So fun! You make me laugh!” He put his hand on his belly and made a noise akin to Santa ho ho hoing.

A strangled noise tore from Haley’s lips and she shoved Alex’s shoulder before the noise turned into a giggle. “Shut up.”

“Your signature words.”

Through sobs Haley snickered out; “Speaking of words, signature is a big one for you, have you been studying?”

Alex fell back on the bed and really laughed this time.

When he sat back up Haley was across the room rubbing her mascara off. “We got off topic, didn’t we?” He sighed. “We were talking about liking girls?”

“I don’t like girls.” She didn’t turn to look at him, just scrubbed harder on her face.

“Okay, okay. But you’re super excited for your ‘casual friend meetup’ with the farmer. Why?”

“I was hoping you’d tell me.”

Alex could see her face in the mirror, and he could see the tears welling up in her eyes again. The fan cast a cold wind across the wind, whirring away any mirth that had been present in the room before.

“What’s wrong with me, Alex?”

In a breathy gasp Alex responded. “What?”

“I dreamt me and the farmer kissed last night! Kissed! I had a dream about kissing a girl! That’s so— I’ve been going on dates with men my entire life. I can’t just all the sudden—“

Haley could see the shock in his eyes even as he continued on. “You’ve told me yourself, none of these men ever clicked with you. Do you think you’ve clicked with the farmer?”

“Define clicked?”

“What kind of feelings do you expect to feel when you’re into someone?” Alex expanded on the questions.

“I’m not into the farmer.”

“Not what I asked.”

Haley moistened her lips and shoved some eyeliner in her vanity drawer. “I guess…I always expect to feel my heart racing, to blush. Like those romance novels and movies where ever inch of their being aches to hold.” She didn’t voice the other words echoing in the back of her head. I would expect to dream about kissing them.

“And when you talk with the farmer, how do you feel? Do these…feelings line up?”

More silence that made Haley want to clap her hands together and tell Alex she was going to do his makeup.

“They do, but it’s just because she’s a girl. Platonic and all that. Or something. Oh, I don’t know!” She threw the handkerchief at him but didn’t account for its weight and it simply fluttered to the ground.

“If you won’t be honest with yourself Haley, be completely and totally honest with me. Do these feel like romantic feelings to you?”

"They do, Alex. They really do.”