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You walk home from school as a certain scientist follows behind. Instead of looking where he’s going, he stares at his phone. His posture will never recover.
“What’s so interesting on there anyway,” you wonder aloud.
“One of the top rated science equipment stores is having a massive sale today.” Ah, shopping. One of his favorite hobbies. “Speaking of, mind if I use your name?”
”Why?”
”I already used mine.”
”Are you checking out two carts worth of good?”
Senku doesn’t look up from his phone. “Much more than that.”
You approach a crosswalk. The sign for pedestrians is off, but Senku being the phone addict he is doesn't notice. You instinctively block him with your arm.
”Hey, what—“
He cuts himself off as a car blazes by. You smile.
“Just saving your life.”
Predictably, he rolls his eyes. “Tch, sure.” The light changes and you keep walking.
”Where are you gonna put all that stuff anyway? Byakukya’s room is basically a storage closet at this point.”
“That’s unfair.”
”You took his bed apart and shoved his mattress against a wall.”
”Regardless, I thought I’d just store the stuff at your place.”
You hum, pretending to consider it. “Very well. Just don’t try to come over at three in the morning to work on some ‘exhilarating new project’.”
He laughs. “Fine, I’ll wait until four since you asked so nicely.”
Finally arriving at his house, you do the kind thing and hold the door. He does not acknowledge this and walks right in.
The open door reveals a window into the usual mess. Of course, Senku claims that he “has a system”. You have yet to decipher what this system is, but clearly it includes several beakers on the kitchen table, bottles of something toxic looking on the counter, and a microscope… in the sink?
Before you can ask about it, Senku’s already working on something new. You could easily help him with this, but you’re too hungry to bother. Instead, you search the pantry for something worth eating.
Inside, you find nothing.
Literally nothing. As in, completely empty.
The fridge hosts several chemicals, but you’re pretty sure breathing too much near half of them would kill you.
You walk over to Senku, too caught up in his project to notice. He protests loudly as you pull him to his feet. A drop of clear liquid falls from the eye dropper he was holding. It sizzles as it makes contact with the carpet.
”We’re going to the grocery store,” you announce.
Senku raises an irritated brow at you. “Why not just get takeout?”
”Because the other two times I’ve been to your house this week we had take out, and as a scientist I’m sure you know that’s not healthy.”
“As a scientist, according to my experiments I can go four straight weeks of takeout before it’s a problem. If it’s such a big deal, just go without me.”
Not happening. You grab his hand and drag him to the door. “I’ll do the cooking, but it’s boring to shop alone.”
He shrugs, the fight clearly drained from him. Still, you don’t let go of his hand for fear he’ll run right back to his experiments. Knowing Senku, it’d probably be more like a jog. Or a speed walk.
Only after entering the store do you release his hand.
Senku cleans out his ear. ”So, what’s on the list?”
”Strawberries, chocolate, whatever I’m making tonight, and some frozen meals you can microwave.”
”As long as I don’t have to actually cook them, sounds good.”
”Why are you so against cooking? Isn’t it basically all just chemistry?”
Surprisingly, he gives a thoughtful answer. “It is, but you don’t learn anything new from it. Meat cooking is a result of amino acids reacting with sugars, which builds new chemical compounds. That’s why it changes color and texture. But people have known that for decades. Changing a recipe makes it much more interesting. Even so, it takes time away from my other more urgent experiments.”
”Hm. Guess I never thought about that.”
After you send Senku off to go find “at least three meals you’re capable of making yourself,” you focus on tonight and a treat for you. You expertly navigate the cart to the fruit section, grabbing the most vibrant strawberries the store has to offer. You've been craving chocolate covered strawberries since second period and will not rest until you eat them yourself.
Senku reappears right as you’re putting chocolate in the cart.
”What happened to ‘eating healthy?’”
”I never said we were eating healthy, just that we weren’t getting takeout,” you reply. For tonight, the meal will be fettuccine alfredo. You place the ingredients in your cart as Senku complains about missing his chemical reactions.
After checking out and arriving back at his place, you shove several pieces of equipment out of the way and begin cooking.
Obviously, it’s chocolate covered strawberries first. “This will be the first time you’ve had fresh fruit in what, two months?”
He scoffs from his position over the beakers. “Seven hours. I had some at lunch today.”
Well, hard to argue with that. You put several pieces of the melting chocolate in a bowl and start microwaving them.
”Does your dad know his pantry is empty?”
He doesn’t respond to the jeer. Weird.
You look at him from over the counter. He’s gone deathly still, phone in hand. Did something happen? Is he okay? “Senku?”
”How do you feel about Paris?”
…?
That isn’t what you expected to be asked.
”Um… I think it’d be cool to go there sometime. I don’t speak French.”
”How would you feel about an all expenses paid one night trip there, and going on a game show?”
What is he talking about? This is starting to sound less like a hypothetical and more like vacation planning. Still, given time to think about it, “It would be fun. What’s with the questions?”
Senku takes a few seconds to respond. “Remember earlier when I asked if I could use your name for the discount? For the 50% off I needed two names for the Valentine’s Day sale. Well, the names went into a raffle and we won. So we have the chance to win 5 million yen.”
You may not love shopping as much as Senku, but 5 million yen is 5 million yen. And even if you don’t win, a trip to Paris would be an amazing opportunity.
”But we need to pretend to be dating.”
Ah, there’s the catch.
Then your brain processes the words. Wait, what?
Before you can respond, Senku finishes explaining. “It was a valentines themed sale, and the game show is for couples.”
”So you told the website that we’re dating.”
”Pretty much, yeah.”
Ethics aren’t particularly concerning to you. The problem was that your school could find out. Your reputation is on the line here! Still, you think you can fake date anyone for 5 million yen.
You smile innocently. “When does the plane leave, darling?”
Senku fake gags dramatically. “Takes off at 9:00 a.m. tomorrow.”
That’s soon. Actually, by your estimates that means you’ll arrive the day after tomorrow: Valentine’s Day. Rather than comment on this, you circle back to teasing him. “Don’t like darling? What would you prefer: sweetheart, honey, dear—“
”We can figure it out tomorrow,” he decides.
Boring, but you suppose you should give him some space. This (fake) relationship did just start two minutes ago.
===
And now you’re on a plane, flying to Paris. How Senku convinced your parents that this is a good idea, you’ll never know.
He sits beside you now, reading some book about physics. You were surprised to find he packed light, expecting him to bring six separate experiments each with parts A through G.
“So,” you start but get no reaction. You fake clearing your throat, get the same result, and resort to flicking him on the nose.
He glares at you. “I was listening to you the first two times, but clearly you require nothing less than my full attention.”
”We need to discuss strategy.”
”You act like we're going to war,” he mutters. “Fine. What strategy are we discussing?”
”We need to figure out what to call each other.”
”Big fan of pet names, are we?”
“You didn’t seem too fond of darling yesterday, so obviously you have a preference.”
”Maybe I’ll call you love,” he says.
You’re face heats with exasperation. “Don’t—“
”Oh, I’m totally using that one. You seem flustered right now. Adds to the realism. And we need all the realism we can get if we want that 5 million yen.”
You almost forgot that’s why you’re here in the first place. “Whatever, moving on. If they ask me a question about what you like I’ll just answer it with ‘science.’ Sound right?”
”Sure. What’s my favorite color?”
”Science.”
”Science green,” he corrects. You shrug.
“Close enough.”
Deciding that’s enough strategy for now, Senku goes back to reading his textbook. You play some music in your earbuds. What ever happens, this trip certainly won’t be boring.
===
You haven’t seen Senku in two hours. As soon as you reached the skyscraper where the show will be filmed, he was led into a separate elevator than you.
Upon arrival on the tenth floor, you were promptly handed a dress and shoved into a changing room. Soft music played as you stared at the fabric. It was obvious you were supposed to put this on, despite already having worn something nice for the show.
You slid the dress on, and it fit perfectly despite never telling them your size. It sparkled in the dim lighting, all pastel blue and dramatic cuts. You took a moment to admire yourself before opening the fabric curtain and exiting.
Two ladies spoke quick French at each other as they dragged you to a seat in front of a large mirror. Thankfully, it seemed you aren’t the only one who doesn’t speak French. The two people next to you sitting in front of identical studio mirrors spoke Japanese to each other. You quickly joined the conversation, grateful to be understood again.
And now the French ladies who you are just realizing are prep crew paint foundation on your face. Another appears and starts on your hair. She brushes quickly and efficiently. It’s surprisingly painless.
”I wonder which one of us has been in a relationship the longest,” one of the other contestants says. She’s dressed in a blush pink dress identical to your own and surprisingly close to you in age. “I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over two years.”
The other contestant, slightly older, answers next. “We’ve been together three years and six months this March.” She smooths her green dress, clearly believing she’s the winner.
And she is, but she’s being awfully smug about it.
”I’ve been Senku’s best friend as long as I can remember.” True. “I’m not really sure when it became dating, probably some time around eight months ago.” False, but close enough to the truth. And your answer has the added benefit of ambiguity— if a question on the show was ‘how long have you been together’ he could answer with anything and not raise suspicion.
You avoid patting yourself on the back until after the 5 million yen is in your pocket.
”You definitely have an advantage,” green dress says not unkindly. More like stating a fact. If you had to guess, you would bet she was the one who signed her partner up for this. She seems like the science-y type.
“Maybe,” you answer noncommittally. The conversation is cut off as lipstick then lipgloss is applied to your lips.
“It’s done,” one of the makeup artists says in broken Japanese. You look in the mirror, wary of what you’ll find, only to see that the artists went for a no-makeup makeup style. It turns out wonderfully.
“You both look amazing,” the pink dressed girl compliments.
”You too,” both of you say back. It’s true. You all look like you could be about to go to a magazine photo shoot. Still, disappointing that if anyone at your school sees footage of this they’ll likely still recognize you.
”Be ready to get out there in twenty,” says the makeup artist. This is good, because twenty minutes is the perfect amount of time to desperately wish you had done more planning with Senku, regret agreeing to this, then pull yourself together. As you finish weaving back the last thread of your sanity, you’re called to get out on stage.
You’re each led to a booth. You get the farthest one from the door. At least there's no live audience, just a small filming crew and who you assume is the host.
You are still watching the host adjust his bow tie when Senku enters the room. One look at him and you’re laughing hard.
They managed to tame his hair. Somehow, they used enough hairspray and clips to make his hair look like a normal humans. He glares at you as he approaches the booth.
”Don’t even.”
You laugh harder, nearly doubling down.
“I told them to leave it down, they said something in French.”
Everyone is staring at you now, but you can’t help it. You honestly wish everyone in your school sees this. Taiju and Yuzuriah will never let him live it down.
“Everything okay over there?” the host asks with an eyebrow raised. He has an American accent, unsurprising for someone who dresses like it’s the 70s’.
You nod quickly. “Of course. Just not used to seeing him with his hair so… normal.”
”Alrighty,” The host says. One of the camera crew calls out something in English that the host translates. “One minute!”
Leaning towards you, Senku whispers in your ear. ”Ready?”
You nod. Time to sink or swim.
The lights dim as a spot light begins roaming around. Theme music plays as the camera zooms in on the host. “Welcome to a very special episode of our show! Let’s meet our couples! Our first pair of lovebirds met two years ago while on a business trip.”
The girl in the blush pink dress waves at the camera while her boyfriend smiles wide. His suit is mauve, and you notice the other couple must be color coded too. The girl in the light green dress matches the boy in a dark green suit, and your own pastel blue dress reflects Senku’s navy suit. So the audience can tell the couples apart, probably. You remember you’re supposed to be paying attention right as the spotlight shines on you.
“And our final couple have known each other since before either of them can remember. Let’s give it up for our lovely contestants!”
Everyone claps, a few people even letting out a cheer. Then the lights abruptly switch back on.
The host stays in character even after the camera clicks off. “Alright gentlemen, I’m gonna need you to step out for a moment while we ask your ladies some questions.” Apparently this is part of the show. Wait, does that mean Senku’s leaving? Clearly yes. You internally curse him for abandoning you on the stand.
When the door finally shuts, the lights dim down again and it seems the camera’s back on.
“For round one each question will be worth five points. Our first question: What was the best date you went on with your partner?”
The first contestant thinks for several moments. “Hm, I’d have to go with our second date. It was at this cafe in a new town– the food there was so good!”
“And for you,” he asks the girl in the green dress.
“The one at the Australian Zoo,” she says without hesitation. “I’m a botanist and the plants there were simply fascinating.”
“Very well,” the host says. He’s already turning to you. Time to think of something fast.
Well, if you want to count every time you’ve hung out as a date there’s over a thousand to choose from. Or you can just fabricate something that sounds more date-like than random experiments. You can lie about going to a restaurant or cooking together. Although, you do cook together. In fact, you were doing that two days ago when this whole thing got started.
“I’d have to go with the time we made chocolate covered strawberries,” you answer as if it were months ago.
“Write your answers down and then we’ll move on to the next question!”
The theme plays again as you write on a cut out poster board. That question wasn’t awful. If they’re all like that you might actually stand a chance at winning.
“Next up: rate your first kiss on a scale of one to ten.” You feel the blood drain from your face. You two never stood a chance. No matter what answer you give you know you’ll never hear the end of it. “Ten is the highest, one is the lowest. Contestant number one?”
She grins at the camera. “Solid eight! Sure wasn’t expecting it after our third date!”
”I’m sure that’s a story,” the host comments. “Two?”
”Three. He’s improved a lot since then.”
Giving Senku a low score is probably a bad strategy. He won’t rate himself as low as a one, right? Or maybe he will because he thinks you will. You internally groan. Why does this game have to be so hard? You just want a nice day in Paris.
”Contestant Three, what say you?”
”Nine,” you blurt out. It was the first number that came to mind, and you regret it as soon as you say it.
”Oh my!” The host cries dramatically. “Lucky you.”
The thought of defending you answer briefly enters your mind, but you decide you're in too deep. You can commit to the bit for just a few more minutes. Still, you can’t help the faint coating of pink now adorning your cheeks.
”Write your answers down and we’ll move on to question three! Our last question for you is as follows: can your man physically carry you?”
Finally, an easy one. You don’t even have to think about it as he goes through the other girls and finally lands on you. “Absolutely not.”
As soon as you’re finished, the men are ushered back inside. Senku appears to have been messing with his hair, as it’s now half up half down. It’s almost like he was nervous. Nervous for what?
”Miss me?” you ask to break the tension.
“What do you think, Love?”
You blink for a startled moment before remembering your earlier conversation. He starts cackling, and you glare at him. You’re probably pretty red by now, your confidence from the last question evaporating.
“Oh, I’m ten billion percent getting this clip and framing it,” he announces, still laughing.
The show comes back on, so you both settle down. “Welcome back gentlemen,” says the host. “We’ve asked your girlfriends three questions. Each one you answer the same as she does, your team will be awarded five points. Let’s begin. First off: what was the best date you went on with your partner?”
”Hmm,” The man in the mauve suit starts. You can tell the girl really wants to give him a hint. “I’ll have to go with the first time she came over to watch a movie.”
”Ooh,” the host says. “Contestant one’s answer was…” The girl lifts up her board. “Date number two!”
A loud incorrect buzzer sounds. The couple doesn’t seem that disappointed about it.
“Two, what do you have for us?”
”She’d definitely pick the one at the zoo,” says the man in the dark green suit.
She lifts her poster board as the host announces, ”Correct! That’s five points.”
The man kisses her cheek, and she smiles. You try not to recoil, grateful that Senku won’t do anything like that.
”Three?”
You can see the mental gears turning in his head. Then he nods decisively and says “The last one. She made chocolate covered strawberries.”
Wait, you guys actually got that one? “That’s…” you lift up your poster board to reveal the words chocolate covered strawberries. “Right! Five points for them as well!”
You and Senku excitedly high five each other. You can’t believe that actually worked! Then you remember the next question.
”The women were asked to rate your first kiss on a scale of one to ten. Contestant number one, how do you think you did?”
”Eight?” He asks unsurely. Their team receives five points. Everyone is now tied.
The next man to answer thinks aloud. “I didn’t do very good, so maybe a two? Actually, knowing her, she’d probably do something just slightly higher. So a three.”
”Is that your final answer?”
”Yes.” When it’s revealed that he’s correct, their team goes up by another five points.
”Our final contestant, what do you think she rated your first kiss?”
“Five,” Senku says instantly. You should have played it safe with a middle of the road answer like that. You find yourself fantasizing about running anywhere else or scribbling on the board so he doesn’t see your answer. Instead, you lift it up. Nine.
The buzzer sounds again, and you are one step farther from winning the five million yen. The host leans over conspiratorially to Senku and stage whispers, “I don’t know what you did, but it obviously worked better than you thought.”
“I’m not sure what I did either,” Senku says with a raised eyebrow. You could decide to curl into yourself, but you’ve never been one to back down from a challenge.
”I can’t believe you forgot,” you say with a wink. He looks away. Success.
”The final question is as follows: Can you pick her up?”
”Of course I can.”
The first team receives five points.
”Yeah, I think so.”
So does the second team.
“Nope,” Senku says while cleaning out his ear.
Every team got points from that question.
”And now I need our lovely ladies to step out of the room while we ask another round of questions.”
The lights come back on as you are guided into a soundproof room. You aren’t allowed to have your phone for obvious reasons, so you entertain yourself by staring at the wall paper. Occasionally you allow yourself to glance at the room’s sole decoration: a clock. Better than spiraling. You and Senku have been doing a lot better then you thought. What if you actually win this thing?
You start daydreaming about what to do with the 5 million yen as a knock sounds outside the door. That couldn’t have taken more than twenty minutes. Time to get back out there.
The host greets you as you all make your way back to your booths. At this point Senku’s gravity defying hair is all the way back up. You’re surprised to find what a comforting sight this is.
The host leaves no time for banter as he launches into his speech.
”These men were asked three questions. Answer them the same way they did, and your team will receive ten points!” Raising the stakes. You might be able to catch up to the couple in green if they mess up even once. “First question: what is their least favorite gift that you’ve given them?”
The girl in the pink dress doesn’t even have to think about it. “Matching hoodies. It was for a band he doesn’t even listen to, just something to wear for the concert.“
The man raises his board to reveal a correct answer. They’re now in the lead with 20 points.
The second contestant takes a bit more time to think about it before answering “Those matching mugs you bought before we started dating.”
The sound of the buzzer fills the room. No points for them.
”Number three, what do you think is the least favorite gift you’ve ever given him?”
You almost forgot you have to answer. It’s probably nothing science related. Senku shifts his weight beside you. You’re taking too long.
”Uh, instant ramen packets?” You try. He hates cooking, and those do involve some effort. Senku lifts up his board to reveal the words “anything I have to cook.”
”Judges, can we accept this answer?” Asks the host. You lean forward in time to see a man behind the camera giving a thumbs up.
You receive ten points, and now you’re tied for first place.
“Fantastic! For our second question: what are the ladies‘ favorite colors on the gentlemen?”
“Blue!”
The first team receives no points.
”I’ll go with… black.”
The second team receives ten.
You could answer with your actual opinion— red, because of the way it reflects in his eyes, but you doubt that he knows that. Not to mention the answer sounds way too sappy. When discussing colors earlier, there was only one that came up. It’s your best bet for that 5 million yen.
“Science green.”
Senku is clearly stifling a laugh as he raises up the board. “White,” it reads.
“Why white,” you ask under your breath.
”Lab coats, obviously.” Oh. That makes more sense than your answer. “I guess I’ll have to invest in some green when we get home.”
”Try red instead,” you suggest. Before he can ask any more questions, the host is already moving on.
“We made our last question especially for this Valentine’s Day episode!” You don’t like the sound of that. “And who would’ve thought it'd be such a close completion? Whoever wins this one wins it all!”
You can already feel the money gravitating towards your pocket.
”For our last question: What does your boyfriend love most about you?”
…
You feel your chance of victory evaporate. Senku avoids eye contact when you glance at him. How are you supposed to guess what elaborate lie he’ll make up here?
The girl in the pink dress looks nearly as flustered as you while the girl in green appears unphased.
“First up, contestant number one!”
She takes an uncharacteristically long time to respond, nodding her head once she decides. This gives you ample time to think of what could’ve gone through your partner's mind. Unfortunately, you come up empty.
”I’ll have to go with my attention to detail.”
She’s correct.
She now has 30 points. If the green couple answers correctly, they’ll win this whole thing.
You find yourself half hoping they do, just so you don’t have to answer the question.
”Two, what do you think?”
”My intelligence,” she answers automatically. The man slowly lifts his board.
The buzzer sounds.
She’s wrong.
The green team is out of the running. You can win this if you only answer correctly.
But what trait does Senku value most in a person? It’s certainly not looks. Intelligence? Maybe. You shelf the idea. For a competition like this, however, you’re supposed to be dating. He’s supposed to be romantically interested in you. What makes you special?
”Contestant number three, what does your boyfriend love most about you?”
Nothing. He’s not your boyfriend, and he doesn’t “love” anything about you. But for the sake of the 5 million yen, you think of an answer.
”My charming personality?” you ask Senku instead of the microphone. He shakes his head once, telling you that this was all for not well before the buzzer sounds.
You’ve lost.
You glance over at his poster board, expecting some one word answer. You do not expect to find a whole paragraph.
Words are scribbled on the board, precise but obviously rushed. “The banter, the way she cares if I eat well or not, the way she hates when people tell her no, the—“
Senku flips the board back down before you finish reading. Rude. Although, you can’t find it in you to be mad. It looks like he started writing one thing that slowly spiraled into a list of your own qualities. It’s strangely personal.
“We present the winners of tonight’s show!” The spotlight shines on the pink dress girl and the mauve suited man. They both look overjoyed. Which reminds you:
His stupid long answer made you lose the game and the 5 million yen prize.
As the lights come back on for a final time, you're handed your clothes and basically shoved out the door. You get to keep the dress, courtesy of the show.
”Why did you write that much?” You ask Senku as you walk together back to the hotel.
”It wasn’t that much.”
You raise an eyebrow. “It looked like a grocery list of my amazing qualities.”
”Couldn’t pick.”
”Hm?”
”As a scientist, I had to be thorough.”
“Didn’t know there’s so much you love about me.”
”Get over yourself,” he tells you with a faint smile. Still, he doesn’t deny it.
“Despite the fact that we lost 5 million yen, I’d say the night didn’t go as badly as it could have.”
“We do get to spend a day in Paris for free tomorrow.”
”We were so close to winning,” you comment offhandedly. ”We make a good couple,”
Senku ponders this. “I wonder how many other places we could scam like that.”
He thinks, then suddenly grabs your hands. You can practically see stars in his eyes. “I bet we can get some discounts. Just think about it! We could go to some fancy restaurant and have our “anniversary” and probably get a cheaper meal or even dessert for free! And after, we can go to a supply store and buy some equipment.”
He knows that “dessert” is the key word in all of that. You start picturing all the delicacies that France has to offer. “I’m in. When do we start?”
“Tomorrow.” He’s wearing his signature ‘let’s break some rules’ grin. “We’re gonna scam the hell out of this supply shop right by our hotel. I bet if we have a dramatic break up in front of the cashier we’ll get an insane discount. ”
You both buzz with more scam ideas all the way back to the hotel.