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Euphemia Potter had a sister, once upon a time. That sister had a daughter, and that daughters name is Theodora. After the death of her sister and her husband, Euphemia took it upon herself to raise her niece. She made a vow that this baby girl will never be alone; for as soon as Euphemia set her sights on that girl whose blanket was bloodied with her parent’s blood, Theodora became a Potter.
Euphemia has a son. A beautiful, perfect son that she would kill for, but currently the 4-year-old was wailing loudly. Euphemia reminded herself that her son was perfect and without flaws, but the noise was causing a ringing to develop in her ears. James was not handling the transition from only child to sibling well. Euphemia knows that he hates sharing and the very motion of sharing his parents had set him off. Euphemia sighed, placing Theodora in her bassinet. “James, darling, I know that this is sudden and scary, but Theodora needs me.” Euphemia was about to give up reasoning with her son when an idea struck her. “Theodora needs a knight to protect her, you know.” The screaming finally paused, and James looked up at her with shining eyes. “She does?” he asked in a tone that let Euphemia know he had fallen for her trick hook, line and sinker. “She does.” She had to hold back her smile. “All knights learn how to be knights by protecting their little sisters.” James looked so intrigued, “really?” he let out a sigh of heavy reluctance. “I guess she can stay. Only if I can be a knight.”
James got less interested in her eventually. She was no longer something her to steal his parents love so the screaming stopped, but Theodora was a baby and James was a kid, they couldn’t play together. He did love to show her off to his friends like she was a new toy. “Look! Marls! Look! I have a sister! Mum said I need to protect her so I can be a knight!” Marlene, in all her 4-year-old wisdom, nodded like that made perfect sense. “Wait, how do I become a knight? I don’t have any sisters.” She pouted and her bottom lip started quivering. James was quick to reply, “you can share mine! So can Peter! We can all be knights together!” Marlene and Peter both grinned, clearly happy that they were all going to be knights and slay dragons.
“Theodora is such a bad name.” James sighed. Euphemia’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t say that.” James looked offended she dared to disagree with him. “She needs a nickname!” Sensing that she would not win the fight of waiting till Theodora was old enough to pick her own nickname, Euphemia sighed. From that point on to everyone save her parents, she was Dory.
“Dad!” Theodora shouted at her father. “Tell James not to be mean to my new friend!” the boy in question was on the other side of the room, away from his sister and the snake wrapped around her arm. “Leo doesn’t like you!” she shouted at her brother. James looked panicked as he responded, “I don’t like him either!” the snake, (Leo?), hissed. James squeaked and ran to their father. “What’s with the snake, love?” Fleamont asked his 4-year-old daughter. Theodora beamed at him and then turned to glare at James, “I found him in the garden! He likes bugs too!”
Euphemia entered the room to her daughter holding a snake out like a gun, the animal giving off an air of resigned offence, and her son using his father as a human shield. She sighed. 8 years old and 4 years old, the sibling pair proved to be adversaries. Always teasing and provoking.
Her son got his Hogwarts letter, as they knew he would. They went into Diagon Alley the next day to get everything he needed, including a new broom. James begged and pleaded for a Nimbus and Euphemia cracked. She was too busy berating herself for falling for the manipulation tactics of an 11-year-old to notice Theodora giving Fleamont sad eyes. He caved immediately and both siblings walked away with new top-of-the-line brooms.
At Platform 9 ¾, Dory’s brother was leaving her. She knew he had to go to school, but she would be alone. She couldn’t remember any time they’d been apart for more than a few days since she was born. To make matters worse, Marlie and Petey were leaving with him. All her knights were leaving her, and Dory felt the tears on her face. Without thinking, Dory ran forward and threw her arms around Jamie. She felt tears in her hair. “You have to write. Okay? You have to!” Jamie nodded, as solemn as she’d ever seen him. “You have to come back for every holiday as well.” He nodded again. Their mother told him something and he had to leave her. She gave Marlie and Petey similar words and hugs. Marlie squeezed her once before leaving. Petey ruffled her hair, and she scowled. He left.
The train pulled away and with-it Dory’s family. She spotted a boy with dark black hair looking at the disappearing train like it had killed everyone he loves. She walked up and introduced herself. “My brother’s gone.” He looked stricken for just a moment before his expression faded back to scowling. “Mine too.”
Regulus Arcturus Black and Theodora Anastasia Potter-Nikolaou start exchanging letters, much to his father’s dismay. Walburga, however, remembers that once upon a time she had a best friend named Anastasia Potter. She died 6 years ago but Walburga can see her in the dark almost black eyes of her son’s friend. She forbids Orion from taking this away from her son.
The Marauders still meet on the train. Lily Evans and Severus Snape still sit together hand-in-hand, bodies tense as if they’re expecting an attack, only this time Marlene McKinnon sits with them. Severus doesn’t like her until Sirius Black insults Severus, and she starts spitting vile words at the Black heir. That encounter ends with a curly haired boy looking at the blonde guiltily and Severus with 1 new friend. When asked why she did that, Marlene simply replied, “I’m a protecter.” She did not elaborate further.
Regulus now nicknamed Artie from his middle name, and Dory keep in contact. Every 2 weeks, they will meet at a bookshop and talk about everything.
Jamie does not come home for break and Dory cries. Petey doesn’t either. Only Marlie comes home. She, however, brings home 2 extras. Dory is instantly enamoured with Lily Evans. Her hair is the colour of fire and her attitude matches. Severus Snape was clearly wary of her, but he conceded to a makeover.
Regulus leaves her next year.
He still sends letters frequently though. He comes home from break with 4 extras and Dory is starting to wonder what kind of school Hogwarts is, with all the strays her people seem to be finding. Dorcas Meadowes, Barty Crouch Jr, and Evan and Pandora Rosier. The six of them fit together. Dorcas is blunt and mean and never lies. Barty is chaotic and wild and fiercely protective. Evan is sarcastic and kind and hot-headed. Pandora is whimsical and a little scary. When Dory’s with them she never feels angry.
Her brother doesn’t come home for most breaks. When he is home, he never talks to her. He simply doesn’t have the time.
Dory is 10 years old, her birthday is in October, and she is going to Hogwarts. She goes to the platform with her brother, and he ditches her soon. He tells her to be careful and to get on the train before he leaves. She flounders for a bit before spotting a scowling face. Relived, Dory runs up to Regulus.
She sits with her friends on the train.
She is sorted into Slytherin, and her brother hates her. She can see it in his eyes. Her friends don’t leave her side and Dorcas and Pandora must have talked/scared someone into submission because instead of girls in her own year, she’s rooming with them.
3 months into her 1st year she is scouted to be a beater. Dory is officially the youngest person ever to make the team. The only con is that she has to train individually with the other girl that was scouted. Dory is not a fan of Arianna Patil. She’s too egotistical and cocky. She keeps flaunting her short, fluffy hair and her hypnotising eyes at Dory. Its distracting.
She is almost done with her 1st year when she realises that just because Jamie hates her now, doesn’t mean Marlie and Petey do. She tries Marlie first, asking if she wants a board game. Before Dory knows it, she is in the middle of the Gryffindor common room surrounded by Marlie’s friends. Jamie blanches at her when he sees but she pays him no mind. Dory wins the Monopoly game.
Euphemia can tell her children are distant now and her heart is breaking. They barely look at one another and they act as if they are on warring sides. Theodora has announced her support for Regulus Black and James has announced his for Sirius. Theodora is in Slytherin and James in Gryffindor. Her babies are divided by petty feuds and her heart is breaking.
Sirius Black is in her house. Dory hates this but she cannot find it in her to want him out. Not when his eyes are distant and full of anger. She gets a rushed owl from Regulus asking if he’s alright and she responds just as fast.
Sirius Black is drinking her mother’s chai. Dory is so angry at this. Why is he here and not Regulus? She’s asked Regulus before to leave that house but her friend refuses to leave his mother alone with Orion.
School is about to start again when Sirius Black apologises. He doesn’t mention any name but when he asks if he is okay, she nods.
Dory is 12 years old and full of righteous fury. Lucius Malfoy insulted her friend, badly. Dory is not delusional though, Lucius is older. Dory will not win this fight, but her aim is not to win but to harm. She is not using magic, just her own bloodied hands. Malfoy has finally pushed her off him and is going to kick her in the ribs when she sees her friends stalking towards them both, murderous intent rolling off them all in waves. She feels the impact of his boots at the same time she hears something knock him off his feet. She pulls herself up and sees that Petey has tackled him and snapped in wand in one move. He is quickly dragged off by his tall, scarred friend but his face is twisted into something she’s never seen from him before, hate.
Dory can feel arms pulling her up and she knows her ribs are broken from the way the bones seem to pierce her skin. Her fury vanishes and she is suddenly 6 years old again with a band of knights protecting her. She takes a few wobbly steps, ignoring the hands trying to hold her still, and walks over to Petey and hugs him tight. “Sorry for getting blood on your shirt.” She mumbled into his cardigan. “You’re all good.” He tells her.
“God, Dory! Can you piss off for once in your goddamn life?!” her brother shouted at her. His friend group had a falling out recently and she knows it hit him hard, so she tried to talk to him. “Jamie—” Her brother’s gaze turned furious. “Stop with the fucking ‘Jamie’! and ‘Marlie’ and ‘Petey’! you’re so fucking weird! leave me alone.” Her heart broke before it hardened. “Fine,” her voice cracked. “don’t call me Dory anymore. Don’t call me anything. I hate you!” She screamed. Theodora is 12 and her brother is 16 and they are children fighting each other. Voldemort looms over them all and there is nothing they can do about it. Jamie-NO-James walked away first. Theodora no longer went by Dory after that.
(Later, but not all that much, a couple years at most, James will look back on this moment and wonder when he started associating his sister with anger; he thinks it was this fight in particular. The way the air crackled around her and her hair was near sparking with electricity.
James wasn’t the only one who saw that fight.
James gives Dumbledore the ultimatum of his sister or his entire army. James values the Order but he swore to be his sister’s protector.)
Their final year is solemn. She sticks close to her friends as they all prepare for the fact that most of them will die soon. She does not talk to her brother.
Everyone she knows is fighting a war; her family on one side, her friends on another. She knows that they don’t have a choice, but she can’t help but feel anger creeping up her spine.
Theodora Anastasia Potter-Nikolaou is going to join the order and defeat Voldemort when —
Euphemia Potter,
died.
Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dea—
It was friendly fire. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time and now she leaves behind a husband and 2 children. Her youngest is 13. Her eldest just graduated Hogwarts. Mad-Eye Moody, aiming for the weakest (youngest) death eater, killed her mother. Her mother who saw a flash of green and wild terrified eyes that couldn’t have been older than 17 (her son is 17) and launched herself in front of the killing curse.
Theodora doesn’t know how long it’s been since she’s been told. Her mother is dead and she’s never coming back and it’s the Order’s fault. She can’t join Voldemort and take vengeance because her mother would haunt her forever.
Marlene dies next.
Then, Evan. (Mad-Eye again. Theodora swears to kill him.)
Dorcas follows soon after.
Her father is killed in an assassination.
The friends that remain to her are insane, in hiding, or fighting for their lives. They don’t talk to her much.
The deaths all blur together. She hates that they do. She wants to feel each individual pain and grief because reducing her family to a group is heinous. They were people. They weren’t number or casualties, they were Theodora’s friends.
The war lasts years. In a blink of an eye, she is 16. She feels like she 13 a few seconds ago. She is 13 and her mother is not dead, and her friends are not dead, and she’s never had to bury an empty casket because there were no recoverable remains.
Regulus dies. That death hits her. She feels grief swallow her whole and she wants to die. He died trying to fight Voldemort. She couldn’t have been prouder of his defection but him dying tamped down her joy. She tries to calm her anxiety at the funeral. She hasn’t seen her brother since their mother died. He is right there, consoling Sirius Black. He doesn’t see her but she see’s his wife. Theodora thinks she’d be a shit aunt. She never approaches them.
(She regrets that. Oh, how she regrets that with every fibre of her being. She should have wept for joy that they were alive and standing and whole.)
She is 16 when the prophecy comes about, and she snarls in Dumbledores face. He has brought her and James in the same room for the first time in years and it’s to tell her that her nephew is being hunted. When she is finished cursing Dumbledore to hell, Lily Evans snags her arm. “I am doing a spell.” She pauses. “I need your blood.” And hands her a container. Without even thinking, Theodora cuts open her palm and lets the blood pour into the vial. Horrified faces stare at her. She leaves.
(“she could be our secret keeper.” Lily states after Theodora leaves. She doesn’t elaborate on why she needs her sister-in-law’s blood. James scoffs but it’s a hollow thing. “She hates me.” She raises an eyebrow at him. Her husband was so stupid. His little sister loved him, but she has bigger issues that family drama. “She doesn’t hate me, and she’d never break.”
“Peter Pettigrew will be your secret keeper.” Dumbledore tells them. Lily continues to glare, “Lupin.” She tells him. she will not be bulldozed, not when it comes to her child’s safety. she thinks the matter settled.
Lily Evans and James Potter needed to die. Dumbledore knew Pettigrew would break; one cannot stand tall under Imperius.)
Theodora is 17 years old on the dot when she is left as the last Potter. She found her nephew on her doorstep on October 31st, her birthday cupcake still in hand. Her brother and sister-in-law are dead. Petey is dead and Sirius Black is a traitor.
Theodora meant it when she said she’d be a shit aunt. She’s not kind or caring or sweet. She hates baby cries, and she finds them disgusting. This child however is her responsibility. Bound by blood twice over, DNA and his mother’s scary skill with ancient spells.
Her nephew’s name is Harry.
Theodora lives in the house her father died in. she will not abandon her ancestral home now. It has been in the Potter family for generations. She will not lose another aspect of her family. She starts cleaning the dust-off shelves and blood off walls.
Pandora and her husband die. She feels the grief as clearly as she felt Regulus’. This time, Voldemort was supposed to be dead. She wasn’t supposed to lose any more people. The only remaining person she has is gone; died when Evan did, in spirit. Barty will ever be the same nor does Theodora expect him to be.
She takes custody of Luna too.
Evan and Pandora’s mother has another child and then she dies. Their father will killed years beforehand. The child, Felix, was supposed to go to Pandora. Pandora is dead and wrote in word that everything that is hers belongs to Theodora. Felix is (was) Pandora’s.
She is 17 and she wants her mother. Luna is the youngest of the lot, with Harry being the eldest. Theodora is responsible for 3 children, and she just barely managed to scrape by her final year.
Theodora Anastasia Potter-Nikolaou is an orphan twice over and the carrier of 3 names of the dead. Anastasia, her biological mother. Potter, a bloodline consisting of 2 people. Nikolaou, for her biological father’s family who died long before.
There is something powerful to be said about a mother’s love but something that is unspoken is the rage of a mourning teenage girl. Theodora never wanted children. She detested the idea. She wanted to play quidditch or sing or do anything meaningful. She wanted to be remembered.
(The first accolade on her tombstone will read ‘mother’ now. Before anything else, she is a girl who raised children. An unwilling mother, but a mother all the same.)
When Luna is 5, Harry and Felix 6, she starts them at a muggle primary school. She thinks Lily would want that. At that school she sees Arianna Patil dropping off twins, looking frazzled. “Their parents, um, my sister, died.” Theodora nods in understanding. “I’m all they’ve got.” She replies. They start meeting up for coffee.
Theodora brushes Luna’s straight moonlight hair and pretends she doesn’t see a dead girl in her face. Harry has hair like James, this simple fact devastates her. Felix has Evan’s hair, all different curl types but the same moonlight shade.
Theodora remembers her mother brushing and oiling her long, thick, black hair and grief echoes in her heart. Theodora gets the coconut oil out of the cupboard and continues the weekly tradition they’ve had since the kids were babies. (The children do not know they perform the rituals of a dead woman.)
Pandora saw the future. Evan could hear it. Luna seems to be powerful in her own way. She turns to Theodora often and says things like, “Your magic is tainted.” Or “magic swirls around you in blood.” She truly does not want to know what that means.
Felix inherited both gifts from his siblings. His visions never last more than a few seconds but he hates them. Theodora holds him while he cries.
Harry is, despite being the child of the prophecy, the least magically powerful. Theodora assumed Lily’s genes were going to kick in but no luck. Boy’s a monster on the broom though. He’s going to be a seeker, he says, like his dad. Theodora wants to kill herself when he says that.
Theodora became a mother at the age of 17. She was forced into motherhood like she was forced into adulthood, with violence and blood and rage. Her status of motherhood is dependent of dead women. Theodora loves the children, she does, but she mourns who she could have been had her childhood not been stolen by baby formula and peek-a-boo.
In every universe, she is destined to be the last one standing.
Destined to always be mourning the dead, till there’s no one left to mourn her.