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John swam through the dream world as if weighed down by an anchor. Beside him Yelana struggled to break free of the mud that pulled her down. How he stood on solid tile and she in a pit of filth he struggled to comprehend.
This is what they get for being the advance party.
Whatever or whoever was in this lab had sent them into a world made of their own subconscious. It was a cruel reminder of the void that neither Avenger wanted to experience.
The biggest difference it seemed was the content. It was what they wanted, not what shamed them. Already John had been forced to pry Yelena from the arms of her sister and he had the growing welt under his eye to prove it.
Suddenly Olivia stood before him, their son in her arms.
“I miss you baby,” She cooed, “Come home…” Her words echoed as if she shouted them over a canyon. John’s heart was in his throat, it was everything he’d been so desperate to hear.
Her face wasn’t right.
The beautiful smile he loved twisted up at the corners as if affected by a funhouse mirror.
“Don’t listen to her Walker!” Shouted Yelena from below him. Hadn’t he just been telling her something similar.
“Liv,” He croaked out through a grief-stricken voice. His son laughed and babbled.
“Walker!” Yelena managed to get his attention, “Walker, If you go with her we’ll be stuck here.”
Now how the Hell did she know that. Was she a part of this too? Some cruel figment to tempt him away from his wife.
Suddenly, a baton hit him in the temple. The world around him is filled with static. As if he’d pressed his face to an old TV screen, it shocked him.
As the electricity faded he woke up on the ground. He rolled over and heard a yelp.
“Get off me!” Yelena pushed at his shoulder. He scrambled clumsily away still trying to get his bearings.
“Did we get out?” He asked her.
“No, no I think we went further in.”
Again, how does she know that, John questioned himself.
“How’d you know?” Almost without him realizing his hand drifted to the gun strapped to his thigh.
“Because the way out is always through!” She took stock of their surroundings, “do you remember the void…” Yes, he remembered, he remembered more than he wished, “Besides, this isn’t the lab we were receiving. I don’t know what this is.”
John scanned the room. It was an old gym. Empty save for outdated equipment and a rundown boxing ring.
“This was Lemar’s gym,” He answered as the realization dawned on him, “It was practically closed down…” Probably nowadays.
“‘Cept for when we’d come to tear it up.” A voice so familiar he’d have recognized it through the worst radio distortion sound from before them. Yelena startled and posed for defence. But John just froze.
“Lemar?” He gasped. Obviously it wasn’t him. John had just registered the room as empty and Lemar couldn’t teleport, or turn invisible, and he was dead.
“So this ones for you then.” Yelena sat back on her heels but drew the baton from its sheath. John’s temple throbbed when he noticed it in her hand.
“John man, it’s been ages.” Lemar descended from his perch near the ring. His steps were too graceful. Lemar stomped wherever he went.
“You’re not real,” Was all John could muster.
“Ignore him Walker.” She’d jumped up to feel around the gym, looking for her doorway further into this mind game no doubt.
“You spent so long ignoring what you felt for me, do you really wanna keep at it?” Lemar asked as he closed in on John.
“What?” John and Yelena questioned in unison.
“Oh please, I knew the whole time and it’s okay John.” He flinched away from Lemar’s outstretched hand, “Johnny baby, Olivia’s gone you can tell the truth now.”
John had grappled with Lemar, wrestled, but he’d never attacked him. So when Yelena’s baton came crashing into the side of the ghost's head he silently thanked her for making the choice easier.
“Break that mirror. We can go through.” She expected him to jump at her command but instead he sputtered, watching as the figment of his best friend dissolved at his feet.
“That wasn’t–” He didn’t know what he was trying to defend.
“It’s not my business. Move Walker.” He’d never been so grateful for her disinterest.
The look on Lemar-not-Lemar’s face was burned in his mind's eye. It was a grin, sure, a romantic one, a look he was never confident he’d actually seen on his best friend.
It ate at him worse than it had when Lemar had been alive. He wasn’t stupid. He knew how he felt. He also knew he was married and loved her and wanted a career that you just can’t have when you're going home to a man in your bed every night.
So he got over it and he smashed open the mirror.
This one was obviously for Yelena. The people in the van didn’t acknowledge John at all. One looked a hell of a lot like Alexei. The woman next to him was singing in russian. Must be her mom, John figured.
Clearly rattled, Yelena struggled not to look at the cheerful people in the front seat. She looked everywhere else. Looking for that imperceptible way out. After a tortuous few minutes she muttered;
“Windshield.” Her gun was out a firing before he even registered what she said. The shattered glass turned to sparkling dust as it swept over them, whisking them away to another dream.
Yelena was thoroughly horrified to wake up next to John in his bed.
“I better not be part of this fantasy Walker.” She pointed that baton at him again. His head pounded.
“Chill out. Jesus.” He surrendered. Sitting on the edge of his bed he scanned. As did she. Yelena tried the door to no result. His shielded arm merely bounced off the window. They were stuck.
“So what now Miss. Dream-world-expert.” Not his best work but Yelena still groaned at the line.
“I don’t know.” She admitted whilst rubbing her forehead, “Maybe…” She considered an idea, “Maybe we will talk.”
“Nah.” John responded immediately.
Yelena nodded and sank to the ground, just as happy in silence as she usually was.
Time never works right in a dream. John stared at the unchanging alarm clock on his bedside. 2237. He stared out the window for half an hour. 2237. Awesome, just fantastic.
Lemar seeped back into his mind despite his attempts to push him away. His handsome face laughing. His heavy steps getting him in trouble on their recce course. That weekend he convinced him to tell Olivia their leave passes got ripped up. Lemar took him fishing. All weekend they sat in that boat. Catching little but talking nonstop.
That was long before the shield was handed to him. Long before he admitted to himself that he loved Lemar the same as he did Olivia. Long before he decided never to let that interfere with his life.
But it had, hadn’t it? Would he have chased after that Flag Smasher as he did? Would he have smashed the edge of that iconic shield into his throat just the same? If he hadn’t loved him?
He looked at the clock. 2237.
“Walker, tell me about your friend.” Yelena suddenly interrupted him.
“Tell me about your sister.” He spat.
“I loved her.” She began, ignoring his tone, “I lost her, more than once, and every day I wish she was here with me.” She drew a shaky breath, “I lost everything when I lost her.” Walker didn’t need to look at her to know she was crying.
“That really sucks.” He offered.
“Wow, okay.” She scoffed,
John’s eyes burned.
“The hell do you want me to say? I’m sorry for your loss? Like that fucking helps.”
“I want you to talk about your friend. Obviously,” She drew out the word, “there’s something there you don’t want to talk about.”
“You said that was none of your business and you were right.” He snapped.
“So you're gay, who cares?!” She threw her hands up, thudding them against the wall, “No one here–”
“I’m not.” He interrupted her.
“But you loved your friend.”
“I love my wife, loved,” He corrected, wincing to himself.
“So you didn’t love your friend?”
“So I didn’t let my–I didn’t let myself love my friend.” He finally admitted.
She was finally, mercifully silent.
“But I wanted to…” He whispered, the ache in his chest threatened to burst.
“Comphet.” Yelena muttered, more to herself than to John.
“I don’t know what the fuck that means. I just-” He was yelling now, “I just did the math okay. I wanted a career, a family, I loved Oliva, I really mean it okay. I loved her, I still do. Lemar doesn’t-Didn’t-change that.”
“I believe you John.” She stopped his ranting, “You can like women and m-” John began to loudly argue, “Listen to me Walker! Listen..You can love so many people.”
“It’s really none of your business!”
“Oh my God.” Yelena looked to the ceiling as if in prayer.
“It’s really none of your business who I’m in love with. So what if it’s my wife or if it's-” John cut himself off. Clamping his jaws together tightly.
“First. That's my whole point.” She sighed, “Second, you can't even say his name.”
“I can say Lemar’s name!” He shouted.
“Then whose name aren’t you saying!” Christ the two of them could argue over the colour of the sky.
John flinched as the door suddenly cracked open. He sprung up from the bed, gun drawn and readied.
Yelena had leaped to meet whoever had opened the door at the threshold. She grabbed the figure by its throat and slammed it against the wall. She had practically drawn blood with her dagger when she recognized him.
“Bob?” The Avengerz said together.
“Hey John,” Bob-probably a dream-Bob looked past the Widow at his throat and stared straight into John's eyes.
“You're kidding me,” Yelena turned her head slowly. She was greeted by the U.S. Agent having an absolute meltdown.
“Oh Fuck me this is–” He pointed to Bob. “This is not on.”
“I’d be happy to Johnny baby,” Bob-not-Bob swooned.
“What?” John shouted exasperated.
“Fuck y-” Bob tried to answer.
“Woah now!” Yelena hushed him, “So you're in love with Bob?” Her look was something between astonishment and bewilderment.
John pointed, opening his mouth to defend himself, or maybe disagree. He was not quite sure.
“That-This is-” He stuttered, “Its none of–”
“--My business,” She pushed off of the figment that looked like Bob. “Walker,”
“Christ, what?”
“Doors open,” She jutted her chin at the swaying open door. Beyond it was nothing but a bright light. John didn’t like the imagery that was brought up. But soon he was being pulled towards it by Yelena as she marched through determined to escape this thoroughly enlightening adventure with John.
They woke up in the lab. In the same places they’d collapsed what felt like hours ago. Walker checked the time as Yelena started planting bombs.
2238.