Archive of Our Own ^beta

It all starts because Seokjin finally manages to take Hoseok out for a drink.

Hoseok's been more J-Hope than Hobi lately. That's normal for all of the members: sometimes work seeps over into the hours where they should be sleeping and it gets hard to tell when being an idol stops and being a person starts again. But lately it seems like Hoseok’s been disappearing into his persona–laughs louder during interviews, dances harder at practice, makes even more of those infuriatingly cute sound effects when they do yet another variety game on Run BTS shoots–only to completely shrink into silence when he’s at home, headphones on as he scrutinises their performances. He’s trying to memorise everyone’s choreographies down to their finger positionings so he can watch out for them more, stop anyone from being disappointed when a move doesn’t come out perfectly. It’s something that Hoseok does when he’s particularly stressed, and can’t dance whatever’s bothering him out of his system.

And well. That’s just not on for Seokjin. Their home is his sanctuary, and Hoseok’s been a ball of stress on the couch right by Seokjin as he spends his very, very minimal downtime trying to get through the Final Fantasy VII remake. He’s killing it, by the way, thanks for asking.

It’s been ten days of this now–not long for most people, but long enough for Hoseok, who likes to work through his funks within seventy-two hours. So he amps up his Demanding Hyung mode around Hoseok, stalling after practice wraps up one day and all the members are sloping out sleepily to ask him to “go for a drink, Jwehope, let’s go for a drink”.

Hoseok is a sucker for any of the members making any request of him, ever. He makes one feeble protest (”Hyung, I’m a little tired, I don’t know–”) and Seokjin hasn’t even made his Sound of Disappointment yet before Hoseok acquiesces (“–but maybe if we just go for a little bit?”).

He makes a big deal out of it on Weverse anyways, makes himself out as pining after Hoseok’s attention which is hilarious, because Hoseok would never leave any of them wanting for attention.

And obviously when Seokjin says ‘let’s go for a drink, Hobah,’ he means ‘let us, and also the five people we are barnacled to, go for drinks together’. Management has booked out a tiny hole-in-the-war karaoke bar for them, but made the mistake of letting Jimin sweet talk the bartender into giving them full reign over the alcohol and now he’s got Namjoon lying on the counter so they can do tequila shots off of him. Taehyung’s sprinkling flower petals and oregano over Namjoon’s chest for the mood, Yoongi’s diligently slicing limes into perfect eighths, and Jungkook is off fiddling with the karaoke machine, which means the first hour is going to be dedicated to Justin Bieber’s greatest hits. 

Seokjin is of the opinion he is too old to lick salt off of Namjoon’s abs[1], plus this is meant to be Seok-to-Seok time, so he begs off the first shot and pulls Hoseok aside to customise a cocktail they’ll share together. Hoseok gets really into it too, as soon he resigns himself to the fate of turning into a sleepy, depressed tomato after consuming a single unit of alcohol. By the time the karaoke machine is set up to go and Taehyung is rapping Ludacris’s bit in ‘Baby’, they’ve made a monstrosity of a drink: Milkis and soju base (Hoseok), edible glitter and Lucky Charms (both), topped with whipped cream, two tiny umbrellas, strawberry syrup (Seokjin), and also a copious amount of tequila (unknown, suspected culprit Jungkook).

Hoseok takes a fat sip of the drink, makes a face, then forces a swallow down. He hands the drink to Seokjin.

“I’m not drinking that,” Seokjin says, eyeing the drink warily.

“It’s fine, hyung,” Hoseok replies, but it’s a little unconvincing, considering he’s choking on his words. When Seokjin raises his eyebrow Hoseok leans forward and takes another massive sip of the drink, eyes meeting Seokjin as he drains half of the drink in one go.

“See? Totally fine–oh fuck, that’s so bad–” Hoseok starts coughing and Seokjin’s dying with laughter as he runs to grab Hoseok a glass of water. Hoseok takes the water like he’s dying of thirst, gulping it down gratefully while Seokjin fusses over him.

“Aish, Hobi, take it easy, alright?” Seokjin says when Hoseok recovers from this close encounter to death. “No need to let Jungkookie poison us so early in the night.”

“Think I needed it tonight anyways,” Hoseok responds, and Seokjin’s uh oh something’s up senses are tingling. But then Hoseok has to make the moment all earnest by adding: “Besides, Seokjinie-hyung and I made it together. I couldn’t not drink it, not after you spent ten minutes agonising over the placement of the cereal bits.”

Said cereal bits are stuck to the bottom of the glass, soggy and sad, and Seokjin knows that soon these tequila-soaked bits will live in his stomach, or else Hoseok will feel a vague sense of gloom for the rest of the week that he will not be able to identify. So he smiles at Hoseok and drains the rest of the cocktail, which is truly horrible, and Hoseok cheers him on like they’re American frat boys instead of multi-millionaire pop idols.

He can tell by how the alcohol cuts through the sugar that Hoseok’s not going to be the only one tipsy after this drink. Shit, if he’s already feeling a touch lightheaded, isn’t Hoseok going to be completely plastered in–

“I have,” Hoseok announces over the sound of Jungkook belting, “45 minutes until I pass the fuck out.” He’s somehow migrated over to the front of the TV screen, his face already turning red. “Let’s–

“GET ITTT!!!!!” Jungkook’s voice blasts over the soundspeaker system, and he’s running over to shove both a mic and his entire body into Hoseok’s arms. Hoseok yelps but manages to turn a stumble into a twirl, him and Jungkook giggling as they hold each other and spin around in circles until they almost crash into Yoongi, who is sitting on top of one of the sofas and squawks a little (but quietly), and then finally Namjoon complains that he’s actually been waiting to do that Epik High song for ages so are they done with the early 2010s appreciation part of the evening yet and then Seokjin’s being pulled over by Taehyung from his spot by the bar over to the sofa and somehow Jimin hands him another drink and that’s Seokjin knows that they are so, so, so fucked for interviews tomorrow. 

Drunk karaoke nights with the members happenly frequently enough that you could montage them all together and describe it in formulaic detail, like one of those nature documentaries that Seokjin likes to watch when he can’t sleep at night. Here, look, he’ll do it for you right now. Here are several scenes he would pitch:

1. Hoseok is on fire for exactly fourty-three minutes, during which he initiates a dance-off with Jimin while he blasts Nicki Minaj, Jessi, and then pulls Jungkook over when Girls Generation comes on to do a picture perfect rendition of Gee, complemented with Namjoon’s impressed cheering.
2. Approximately five minutes after said rendition Hoseok, as promised, is passed out on the couch while Taehyung tries to gently guide a glass of water into his hyung’s open mouth so he can hydrate, which Hoseok bats away and it’s deemed unsafe to try and have any glassware near him for at least half an hour.
3. Seokjin is dragged into a duet with Yoongi–something something Sin roommates, he doesn’t remember, he’s had another three tequila shots at this point–and Jimin makes them hold hands while they do a trot song together, only Yoongi doesn’t know any of the lyrics and when Seokjin protests Yoongi just goes “Popping, popping, popping, popping” until the room is in hysterics.
4. Jungkook is banned from playing any more IU when he puts the sixth song on in a row and starts welling up halfway through.
5. Cut immediately to five seconds later, Jungkook is unbanned from IU after deploying one (1) pout.

It only gets rowdier as the night draws on, because none of them have functional sleep schedules and tequila is good for getting messy. Somehow the idea of inviting other people comes up, and now Namjoon is on the phone with someone–oh, it’s Jackson, of course it would be Jackson– giving what seems to be a very longwinded but also ineffective explanation as to how to get to the karaoke bar. Taehyung is serenading Yoongi with a very dramatic rendition of “My Heart Will Go On”, Yoongi in his arms as Taehyung sways them back and forth in an attempt to recreate that iconic scene with Jack and Rose. To his left Jungkook and Jimin are sat on both side’s of a post-nap Hoseok, trying to convince him that he does want to start dancing now, it’ll be fun, come on Hoseokie-hyung, don’t stay asleep, it’ll be so fun and we can do that Beyonce song that you like if you just get up.

Seokjin watches fondly as Jimin threads his hands through Hoseok’s hair, trying to butter him up. “You should invite your boytoy too, Hoseokie-hyung, what’s his name, Sungho the producer with the cute flower arrangements–” 

“It’s Sunghoon, actually,” Hoseok says quietly, and uh oh, that’s not his let’s-party voice. “And, uh, I don’t think we’ll be seeing him or his flowers anytime soon. We broke up.” He tries to say it casually but there’s a slight waver in his voice and his mouth is shaped in that terrible triangle that only means bad bad bad.

RED ALERT HOBI IS SAD HOBI IS SAD HOBI IS SAD , Seokjin’s internal voice screams. 

“I’ll kill him,” Jimin’s sweet voice is laced with steel. “Tell me where he lives, Hobi-hyung, and I’ll get Jungkook to cut off his dick.” Jungkook, who cries when he sees a child scrape themselves on a playground, nods fervently. The two of them are practically on Hoseok’s lap by now, watching intently for any sign of him crying so that they can plot this guy’s downfall.

“No, no, Jimin-ah, Jungkook-ah, it’s okay.” Hoseok’s lips twist into an attempt at a smile, but it’s bitter and looks so, so wrong. He shrugs. “I–it was just too much and too little at once, like he said.”

It’s that slip of the tongue that catches Seokjin’s attention, because Hoseok is good at handling breakups, but clearly this one turned out a little differently. And now his brain is running around like a chicken, trying to think of ways to take that awful fake smile off Hoseok’s face because Hoseok should not be sad, not over a sad to-be-dickless loser of a producer who told Hoseok something clearly really hurtful that he’s filtered out, so he opens his mouth and–

“Hobi-yah, how do you feel about egging?” Sometimes Seokjin really wishes his brain wouldn’t make extended metaphors of his consciousness.

“Um,” Hoseok’s caught off guard by this apparent change in topic. “Neutral to middling, I guess?”

“Let me rephrase,” Seokjin says, because once he’s said an idea out loud he tends to see them through. “How do you feel about egging your terrible, awful, no-good soon-to-be-dickless ex?”

Cheers from both sides of Hoseok, as Jimin and Jungkook have discovered an outlet for their hyung-protection instincts.

Hoseok frowns. “He lives in an apartment, though. This isn’t America, hyung.”

As if geographical and architectural complexities are a problem for Seokjin. He’s got to act fast, before Hoseok sobers up and his conscience (which is a little too kind in Seokjin’s opinion, with how many shitty guys have come Hoseok’s way) returns, so he gets up and puts a hand on Hoseok’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry, Hoseok-ah. Hyung will fix it,” Seokjin just says.

The younger ones have finished chucking their eggs a while ago, and are now sitting with Hoseok on the roof they stole onto (read: convinced Sejin-ssi to turn a blind eye to, who deserves a raise for all the shit he puts up with) to look at late-autumn stars. Seokjin can hear Namjoon and Taehyung chatting about shooting stars in the distance, a quiet murmur which cuts through the wind, and Yoongi has his eye fixed on Choi Sunghoon’s balcony, now laden with egg shells and gunk.

“For the record,” Yoongi says, dropping the egg he’s been rolling around in his palms for a minute, “I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“What, the egging?” Seokjin says, as he sends an egg down in a perfect arch, hitting the sliding door of the balcony directly. It’s satisfying. 

“No,” Yoongi looks down at the carton of eggs, trying to pick out a suitably lush one. “The bit where you’re using Hobi’s sadness to avoid dealing with your own.” Yoongi picks a fat round egg with speckles and sends it flying, a tiny, vicious flick of a throw. 

Seokjin takes in a breath and looks down at the descrated state of Sunghoon’s balcony. “I don’t know what you mean, Yoongi-yah.” He knows that Yoongi knows that he’s full of shit and also that he will press Seokjin exactly the right way, curious and nonjudgemental, until Seokjin says what he needs to.

“I just mean that things are still pretty fresh after Juwon.” Yoongi says, not looking at Seokjin at all and yet making him feel very seen .

“Almost a month.” Seokjin responds. “Practically a lifetime, Yoongi. I’ve turned a new– no, make that five new leaves since him.” And it’s true–mostly. His breakup with Juwon was amicable; Juwon was about to move to a new country, and Seokjin hadn’t felt strongly enough about him to protest when Juwon suggested it might be better for him to start afresh in a new place.

“But you liked him,” Yoongi says. And wow, Yoongi is really going for the jugular today, isn’t he? 

“Not enough,” Seokjin replies, ducking down into his sweater.

“Not enough,” Yoongi agrees, turning to look at the cityline. “Still enough to be hurting, though.”

And okay, so maybe Seokjin is hurting a lot, but that has less to do with Juwon and more to do with the way he’s freaking out about the fact that he’s so familiar with the quick hurt of a breakup it feels routine, and how he can’t stop feeling bare without knowing someone is his. It’s why he’s never single for long, when this itch gets at him everytime he tries it, but maybe he’s truly just fucked for relationships and destined to be alone, which is stupid because clearly he’s never going to be alone if the members make him talk about it every time he has an emotion, like right now, but anyways his parents will adopt more and more exotic animals for him until he becomes one of those weird zoo people they make documentaries about on Netflix.

“I think I should just become an exotic zoo runner,” says Seokjin, lingering on that last thought. 

“Don’t become an exotic zoo owner,” Yoongi says after a moment. “Tae would let himself get eaten by the tigers.”

“As if I’d have tigers,” Seokjin replies. “Too many teeth. I’d have a toothless exotic zoo.”

“A toothless exotic petting zoo,” Yoongi adds, because he understands Seokjin’s sensibilities. 

They get engrossed in a debate about whether Jungkook could reasonably be trusted to take care of alpacas (Seokjin thinks Jungkook would spoil them rotten; Yoongi thinks Jungkook’s gentle soul are what alpacas need) when Taehyung and Hoseok wander over. Taehyung needs Yoongi to come adjudicate some competition with him and Namjoon-hyung, he says, something about Namjoon lying about how many shooting stars he’s seen because of clout. Yoongi lets himself get pulled up by Taehyung, floppy-armed like a doll, but the indulgent smile on his face suggests that he doesn’t at all mind being manhandled.

“No bad ideas, yeah, hyung?” Yoongi says to Seokjin, but before Seokjin can insist that he’s never had a bad idea in his life, not since the day he was conceived and possibly prior to that, Yoongi’s getting pulled away by an ever-urgent Taehyung, who wants them to get back to Namjoon or else he’ll win, hyung, he’ll win and no one will be able to prove he was cheating, because Jiminie and Jungkookie are too busy making out to pay attention to us, can you believe it, hyung, isn’t that fucking unfair.

Forget Jungkook, it’d clearly be Yoongi spoiling the alpacas rotten.

Hoseok stays behind and walks tentatively up to the rooftop rails next to Seokjin. He hasn't come near Sunghoon's balcony at all since they got to the roof, despite being the first to go along with the idea. Hoseok's wrapped in a soft, pink blanket, and as he comes closer to Seokjin he unfurls himself from the blanket and wraps half of it around Seokjin’s shoulders. It’s warm from Hoseok’s body heat, and Seokjin is surprised by how cold he’s gotten in the past… however long they’ve been up here.

“Jin-hyung, your shoulders are so broad,” Hoseok says as he fusses with the blanket until it hangs securely. Barely. “Like. Wow. What did your parents feed you?” He pauses. “Sorry, were Taehyungie and I interrupting eternal roommate hours? I can go try and get Yoongi back if you’d like.”

Seokjin rolls his eyes, plucks the last egg out of the carton and hands it to Hoseok.

“Aish, been here for a second and already trying to get rid of me? After I defended this last egg from our hungry, revenge-seeking members, just so you could have the satisfaction of hitting your ex’s stupid ferns?” Seokjin complains, albeit quietly, as a responsible (sort-of) citizen is wont to do.

Hoseok nudges him by the shoulders for that comment, but takes the egg and inspects it, turning it around with his delicate fingers to observe it from all angles. “His ferns aren’t stupid. But thanks, hyung.”

Seokjin knows Hoseok is going through it by the way that a thanks is all he can muster in thanks. He could ask about what's going on, and watch as Hoseok squirm his way into an answer, not truthful and yet transparent about exactly how he's feeling. Hoseok would share if he asked, Seokjin thinks, even if he wasn't ready to confront his own feelings. He's done it before when the members have needed it, and will do it again and again, as many times as they need it from him.

But maybe now isn't the time for that kind of conversation. Maybe Seokjin just wants Hoseok to be comfortable for a while.

So instead Seokjin pulls the blanket a little tighter around the two of them, fussing over the way it folds together so there are no gaps the cold wind can get past. Watches Hoseok as he turns the egg around in his hand, inspecting the little specks on the shell, then sits it carefully on the edge of the balcony. After watching it for a while he brings his hand close to the egg, as if to flick it down onto the balcony. Pauses, considering.

A clean flick, and the egg goes soaring down, hitting the balcony floor with a splash.

Seokjin leans over to see where it's landed, then turns round to Hoseok, who looks shocked and a little pleased at this minor act of mischief.

"Well, Jwehope," Seokjin begins, and okay. Seokjin said he was going to be serious, but he also can't help who he is.  "That throw was... eggcellent ."

It's a terrible, overused pun, but the hyung, nooo he gets from Hoseok a second later makes it worth it, exasperated and fond all at the same time. It breaks the quiet spell of the evening, and then they're off, giggling about nothing in particular. It's not even that Seokjin was being particularly funny. It's just how they work together, Hoseok and Seokjin: drawing smiles out from each other even and especially when they feel bad, winding each other up for no reason other than that it feels good to laugh with someone else, no matter the reason.

Soon enough Jimin comes over, wanting to get wrapped up in a hyung sandwich the way he does when he's drunk and sleepy. With Jimin comes Taehyung, and before long all seven of them will be in close proximity, naturally drawn to each other as a matter of habit. And most nights they'd have wizened up enough to wrap things up long ago, to make it home so they can grab a few precious hours of sleep before the next activity. But maybe it's because Hoseok (and Seokjin, if he's being honest) needed this time together, or because the way the night has played out has them feeling a little boyish, or just because they like hanging out with each other and rarely get the change to, not without something to do, but they all stay. And talk. And dream. Together.

The sun's almost up by the time they're headed back to the dorms. Seokjin and Hoseok are in a car together; Seokjin is mostly asleep, lulled by the sound of driving, but he can hear bits of noise from Hoseok flicking through his phone.

"I'm thinking of giving dating a break," a voice that sounds like Hoseok says. Ah, Seokjin thinks, he must be dreaming now, since those words would never come out of Real-World-Serial-Monogamist-Hoseok.

"Sounds good, Seok-ah. Hyung's proud of you." Seokjin replies, because he's nothing if not supportive even to dream versions of his members.

"I'm-" Dream-Hoseok pauses for a second. "Ugh, this is really stupid, but I'm just not sure how to be single, is the thing."

"It's easy," Seokjin mumbles. "Easy peasy lemon squeezy."

"Is it?" Dream-Hoseok sounds doubtful. "Uh, hyung, last I checked, you're just as bad as I am."

Seokjin is a wealth of experience in being single in comparison to Hoseok, having accumulated a total of nine months of singledom since debut. Hoseok has only been single for a measly four months.

"Sure it is, Hoba," Seokjin murmurs to dream-Seok. Maybe if he moves the story along they'll be able to move to the next dream sequence. "Look, I'll do it with you just to show you how easy it is. No-date-pact."

"You promise?" Dream-Seok says. Funny, huh, how Hoseok's voice seems quieter and quieter by the second.

"Mmhmm," Seokjin hums, but he's drifting deeper into sleep now, down into another layer, and he thinks he hears a response but it's too hard to make out any of the words and he's pulled down, down, down.

Seokjin is having a lovely dream. He’s back in Malta, laughing at a street magician who is pulling inexplicably larger animals out of his hat: first a bird, then a rabbit, then Yeontan, then a zebra, and oh, god, he’s got an elephant in there, hasn’t he, and the magician has grabbed the elephant by the trunk when a beam of light comes out of nowhere.

“Jin-hyung,” says the voice from the bright light. How interesting, Seokjin thinks, that a higher being would call him hyung.

"Jinnie-hyung," and now Seokjin feels a gentle jostling on his shoulder, and he's no longer in Malta anymore but in his bed and wanting to curl into the warmth of his blanket. "Are you awake?"

"Mmmmmm five more minutes–" Seokjin cracks open his eyes to find Hoseok sitting on the edge of his bed, his face five centimetres away from his own, which startles him so bad he practically throws himself back against his headboard and scream. Hoseok's eyes are wide and more awake than he has any right to be at–Seokjin picks up his phone and squints at the numbers–god, an hour and a half after they got home? 

"Hoseok-ah," Seokjin groans, taking a breath to convince his body he is not about to get stabbed in his sleep, but was only woken by his lovely, wonderful, bandmates with no sense of personal space. "Hobaaaa. Why are you–"

"Did you mean it?" Hoseok says in a rush, then flushes, embarrassed by the fact he asked the question in the first place.

"Huh?" Seokjin asks. 

Hoseok fidgets a little. "The thing we were talking about in the car," he mumbles, looking down. "The–uh. Pact. Anti-dating pact."

"Oh, so that wasn't a dream after all," Seokjin says, mostly to himself. He's still trying to blink the sleep out of his eyes.

"Shit, hyung, were you asleep when we discussed this?" Hoseok looks stricken by Seokjin's train of thought, all vulnerable like when Jimin asked him about Sunghoon earlier that night. "Look, never mind, it was stupid anyways, I'll just go back to bed, just forget about it." He shuffles like he's about to leave Seokjin's bed, and well.

Seokjin may be half-asleep, but he sees an opportunity here. Perhaps this is the show of support Seokjin can offer to Hoseok right now. He's no good at talking about his feelings, but maybe it would make Hoseok feel better if they were alone. Together. 

And a promise is a promise. So he grabs at Hoseok's arm before Hoseok can go back to his and Jimin's room and do... whatever it is he does when he's feeling emo at night.

"Hoba. Did I say I didn't remember? Of course I remember." Seokjin stifles a yawn. "Anti-dating pact, right? No dick gang. Let's do it. We'll be the best single people that have ever walked the face of Earth."

And the way Hoseok's face breaks into a relieved smile when Seokjin says that makes it all worth it.

"Yeah." Hoseok says, because he's a guy that has always needed a project to make sense of his life. He already looks better for it. "No dick gang."

"No dick gang," Seokjin repeats, because he's not at his best joke game at seven in the morning. "Now can I go back to sleep?"

Hoseok is grinning as he tucks Seokjin into bed again, pulling the blankets up to his chin before he gently closes the door, humming to himself. Seokjin lies in bed, cocooned up, and feels a faint sense of unease at what he's just committed himself to. But it'll be fine. Being single is easy. He spent most of his life being single before he started dating. And he'll be doing it with Hoseok. For Hoseok. He's busy, anyways, so busy he barely even summons the energy to wash his hair some nights. He'll have no time to think about being single. Maybe this is his ultimate form now: hot, single and unwilling to mingle.

Right?

This is not Seokjin's ultimate form. 

This is the furthest thing from his ultimate form, and maybe a decade of non-stop dating has done something to his brain because ten days in and Seokjin feels like his life force is being drained from him.

The first twelve hours were totally fine. He deleted all the dating apps on his phone as soon as his alarm went off, told his (very disappointed, but understanding) suitors that he was taking some time off for himself, and delivered an incredibly charming interview in which he watched Jimmy Fallon drop himself into a vat of cheese.

Yes, Seokjin was made for the single life, he thought then. He was free! An utterly liberated man. At the eighteen hour mark he was contemplating life as a monk post idol-life, given that the new vow of celibacy was treating him so well.

But then came the next twelve hours. Then the next. A week in, and Seokjin is starting to feel antsy.

Because here is one indisputable fact about Kim Seokjin: he is boyfriend material. He is so boyfriend material all his shirts should say that on the washing instructions tag. He is so boyfriend material that there is literally a group chat called "Kim Seokjin is boyfriend material" on the phones of many an idol in the industry, which would be weird if he hadn't been the one to make the chat in the first place after having to turn down one date too many when someone mistook his relationship status.

(Jungkook moderates the group, which only means that he texts "Jin-hyung single" and "Jin-hyung taken" whenever there's an update on Seokjin's dating life).

And honestly? Seokjin likes being in relationships. He's got a lot of loving and caring to give, okay, if it wasn't already obvious from the fact that he's already committed himself to the most insane relationship with six guys you could imagine. But Seokjin also likes *relationships*, likes the intimacy of being special for someone in particular (or someones, he's not particular) and the other person doing the same for him. He likes the cosy intimacy of texting someone just to check in, doing nothing in particular but carving out the space for someone else, learning the weird ways people tick and bringing that into his life. Seokjin even likes the awkward dating bit, which he knows a lot of people hate, likes to think of interesting places to take people to (and they have to be very interesting, since it's hard to find a place he won't get spotted), and come up with ways to get someone to unfold and relax even if it means getting over those awful fluttery feelings of his own in the beginning.

It’s not so much the not-dating right now thing that’s driving him crazy; he’s had his own stint of breaks (not that many) over the course of the years (mostly when they were really, truly too busy to think about dating). It’s more the intentionality of the situation he and Hoseok have committed themselves to. It has him contemplating things, like whether he's built for romantic love or if it's because he's somehow too unavailable and too clingy at the same time, or if it's all just a matter of circumstance and what it would mean to find your someone to be with properly forever and it's all very very introspective, which makes his skin itch and has him asking questions like–

“Jimin-ah, do you think I should become a monk?” 

"Huh?" Jimin is practically falling out of the waiting room chair he’s sitting on, he's so tired, but he jerks up as soon as he hears the question. Jimin squints at Seokjin. “A monk.”

“I’d look good bald,” Seokjin says, pulling his hair back. “My head has a good shape for it.”

“You’re allergic to haircuts.”

“People can change.”

“You know they don’t allow electronics in a monastery?”

“I’ve been kind of off video games lately.”

“You literally clocked in ten hours on Zelda two days ago,” Jimin says, and uh oh, he’s got that look on his face when he’s about to put something together. “What is this about, hyung?”

“Nothing!” Seokjin responds. “I’m just having thoughts, you know, Jiminie, thoughts about what else I might be up to right now if I wasn’t an idol. Casually. Like maybe I’d be a Hyundai car salesman! I’d be a great one, don’t you think?”

“We’re already Hyundai salesmen, hyung,” Jimin retorts. He leans forward and clasps his hands together, like he’s a TV psychologist in one of those talk shows. “So, Seokjin-ssi, what draws you to the life of a monk?” Jimin’s putting on his funny old man voice, but there’s a glint in his eyes that says he’s watching Seokjin’s response closely.

“I think it’d be fun,” Seokjin says warily, feeling very caged in by Jimin’s attentiveness. Jimin raises an eyebrow. “Okay, so maybe not fun. But it’d be peaceful?” Seokjin tries.

“It’d be peaceful.” 

“You know what I mean,” Seokjin gestures indistinctly. Jimin gives him an expression that says he does not. “You get in, do your rituals, make food occasionally, do your bit to help where you can, and then go to bed without worrying about whether your life has meaning or if you’re made for love and what to do with all your time. It’s a good, simple life!”

Jimin’s expression drops into a frown. “If you’re made for love? Hyung, why are you worried–” 

“Yah, that’s what you focus on out of all my excellent reasons to become a monk?”

“Seokjinie hyung,” Jimin tries, ready to get into it.

“Jiminie,” Seokjin says in the same tone, not ready to get into it. They make eye contact for a few moments, and Jimin must get the message, because he just sighs and slaps his hand on Seokjin’s thigh lightly, before he gets down on the floor to stretch.

“Well, if you decide to become a monk, we’ll just have to come with you, then,” Jimin says, easy as that as he folds his body into a forward bend.

Seokjin hums in acquiescence, or he’ll do something embarrassing, like scream.

“You know,” Jimin says, voice slightly muffled by his thighs. “Hoseokie hyung has been a little weird lately. I thought he’d be out Saturday night, you know, like he usually is, but when I got back home in the evening he was just watching The Notebook in his PJs . ” Jimin lifts his head up and it’s in full pout. “ Without me . He’s never done that before. What’s up with that?”

“Weird,” Seokjin says, carefully not mentioning how his Sunday morning had been spent watching The Notebook in bed alone.

“Soo weird, hyung.” Jimin slouches back into his forward bend. “I asked him if his plans got cancelled or something, but he got all squirrely about it and said something about how he was reprioritising ‘making time for himself’.” Jimin pauses. “Which is great and all, but like. It’s Hoseokie hyung. Since when has he spent time alone getting all in his feelings over Ryan Gosling?”

Which is a fair point. But the thing is, Hoseok is fine.

Or at least Hoseok seems perfectly fine, when Seokjin sees him, which is for most of his waking hours. He’s back to his usual self in rehearsals; sharp and focused but kind, still full of smiles, but without that manic energy in the initial aftermath of the Sunghoon breakup. Maybe a little quieter on their groupchat in the evenings, but maybe he’s doing that no-screens-at-night thing he said he was going to try a few months ago.

Seokjin even goes as far as to check in on how Hoseok’s dealing with the no-dating pact one day after practice, as they’re packing away their bags for the day. The conversation went something like this:

“Hoba.”

“Hyung.” Hoseok’s rifling around his bag, trying to find his headphones.

“How’s the… thing?” Seokjin asks.

“The thing?” Hoseok looks up, a little surprised. “How do you know about the thing?”

Okay, maybe Jimin was right, if Hoseok’s memory is deteriorating like this. “Hoseok, you attacked me in my sweet, peaceful slumber so we would do the thing. Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten already?” Seokjin whines.

Hoseok’s expression clears. “Oh. Oh . That thing.” He makes a thumbs up. “Good?” Hoseok says, nodding to himself. “Yeah. Good! Easier than expected.” He glances at Seokjin, looking plenty satisfied. “And you, hyung?”

And how is Seokjin meant to respond? 

“Good! Really good.” Seokjin nods. Hoseok nods with him.

“Easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy.” Hoseok says.

“Easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy.” Seokjin repeats. Hoseok laughs, slaps a hand on Seokjin’s shoulder and repeats the phrase again, then pushes him out the practice room door so they can meet up with the rest of the members, who have no idea why Seokjin and Hoseok keep on repeating this meaningless English phrase but have been trained to just accept it as part of their way of talking to each other.

The conversation unfolds weirdly enough that Seokjin doesn’t think much of what the other thing might be. He doesn’t think about it on his bike ride home; he doesn’t think about it the next day, or the day after, or the week after that. In fact, Seokjin spends a lot of time thinking about promotional schedules, and that upcoming OST recording he’s got, and between those not much at all (except the tiny, tiny part of him that is thinking about Juwon, but let’s not look into that, thank you), until suddenly he realises.

Hoseok didn’t leave the office that evening. He waved at Seokjin, mouthing ‘easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy’ as he laughed while Seokjin fumbled as he clipped his helmet on, then walked down the left corridor of the building, where the main elevators were. 

The elevator to the car park, where Hoseok’s car is, is in a set of elevators down the right corridor of their office building.

It would be fantastic if Seokjin could say he came to this observation in an act of careful recollection. But actually, he only figures this out when they get out after a midnight recording session, and realises he’s left his sweater in their pantry, because he’s just biked out and is freezing for no reason. And he realises this detail about Hoseok only when he decides to turn round, take the elevator back up to where their dedicated floor is, heads to the pantry, and sees Hoseok, peering at the coffee machine thoughtfully as it sputters out a hot americano. 

And then it clicks for Seokjin: Hoseok’s been heading down the left corridor at the end of every work day these last few weeks.

“You!” Seokjin says in surprise, then immediately regrets it because Hoseok is the absolute worst person to startle, particularly in a quiet office building late at night.

Hoseok literally jumps in shock, slamming his back against the counter –Seokjin winces –as he turns to face the source of the sound. “AHH–hyung? What are you doing here? It’s midnight.” Hoseok smoothes down the edges of his shirt, where it’s bunched up by the sudden movement.

“Here to get my sweater! At midnight! What are you doing here?” Seokjin replies.

“Um. Working?” Hoseok says, gesturing at his cup of coffee.

“At this hour?” Seokjin asks, incredulous.

“Yoongi-hyung and Namjoon do it all the time,” Hoseok responds, but it’s said with a pout that suggests that he knows that Seokjin’s caught him out.

“During album writing season, maybe. and even then it’s not every single night , like you’ve been doing lately. Plus, haven’t you been coming back here really early lately for dance sessions lately, or something?” Seokjin points out.

“Ah.” Hoseok says. He fingers the bottom of his shirt. “So. About that.”

So it turns out that when Jung Hoseok doesn’t date anymore, he goes and makes a mixtape. In two weeks. That was the thing .

Or at least he’s been trying to make his mixtapes, he explains to Seokjin as he grabs a chair for Seokjin to sit in front of his massive computer setup in his studio, and sits down to fiddle with a few settings on the screen. 

“It’s just that I’ve had so much time lately, and the old songs didn’t fit right, and so–” Hoseok gestures at the screen helplessly. “This has been happening in the evenings, and sometimes in the morning when I’m too wired to sleep? They’re not all new songs, just things I’ve been thinking about for a while and I thought maybe I should pull them together, see if I can get Hopeworld 2 going since it’s been so long….” He trails off.

Seokjin looks at the files on Hoseok’s screen, which are meticulously ordered by date, draft version, name, and are colour coordinated in rainbow coloured files. More importantly, he notices that there are about fifteen files all dated within the two weeks. 

Seokjin points to that row of files. “You did that. In two weeks?” Seokjin thinks that maybe it’s a blessing for the rest of the music industry that Hoseok had been an enthusiastic dater for his entire adult life prior to these last few weeks, if this is what happens when he’s single.

Hoseok shrugs. “Yoongi-hyung does it on the regular.”

“That’s not the same thing at all and you know it,” Seokjin responds. Maybe Hoseok’s explanation would fly for those who only knew the members vaguely; Yoongi does produce a ridiculous amount of songs for a person. But he’s also the kind of guy that will make a tune in thirty minutes, leave it, and come back to properly work on it several months later. Hoseok, on the other hand.

Seokjin’s willing to bet that every single one of those files would be release-ready if he clicked and listened to them. 

“How is it not?” Hoseok says, a little sulky now.

“For one, Yoongi doesn’t get up at the crack ass of dawn to do dance things for fun on top of making a stupid, huge amount of songs all the time,” Seokjin says. “He also takes breaks now, because we bullied him into doing so. Which you spearheaded.” Seokjin sends a pointed look at Hoseok. “I thought we were all going to take it easier these days? That’s why we asked for more downtime when we re-signed our contracts. You know ARMY will wait for your mixtape, however long it takes.”

Hoseok sighs, and leans back into his chair.

“Ugh, I know. It’s just a bit weird taking downtime for myself? Like, I used to go with Junghoon on little–” Hoseok pauses mid-sentence. “Anyways. It’s not really working. Like, I’m making things and it’s fine, but it’s not feeling… me? I feel like I’ve heard all of these tracks a million times and I’m feeling a little crazy, because something feels off and I don’t know what. ”

“Do you not think you’re going crazy because you’ve listened to these tracks a million times this week?” Seokjin pushes gently.

“No, that’s not it,” Hoseok says, unconvincingly.

Seokjin shoots him a look.

“Really, it’s not.”

“Hoba, if I played any of these tracks again right now, would you feel a sudden and unexplainable urge to scream?”

“...Maybe.”

“And do you not think maybe. Just maybe. You would not feel an urge to scream at your songs if you gave yourself more time?” Seokjin asks. 

Hoseok makes a face. “I’ve done that already, though.”

“Watching The Notebook one evening doesn’t count as giving yourself time.” 

“How do you –you know what, never mind.” Hoseok fiddles with his bracelets a little and deflates. “Okay. You have a point, I think.”

Seokjin aches for him, because underneath all the hyung vibes he’s been projecting for the last half an hour he actually gets Hoseok. If he had his own mixtape to work on–and maybe he does, maybe he doesn’t, maybe it’s Maybelline and maybe he’s actually got a draft of a few songs that are hidden somewhere in a hardrive he’s stuffed under his bed–it would probably feel good to work on it right now. He admires that drive in Hoseok, that when he’s lost he’ll direct his excess energy to something else. Seokjin’s just not built the same way, doesn’t have that relentless drive to do something of his own accord. 

“Jin-hyung,” Hoseok breaks through the silence that’s accompanied Seokjin’s train of thought.

“Yes?”

“Is it actually easy peasy lemon squeazy?”

Ah, and there it is. The little confirmation that they’ve been talking about the mixtape all this time, and not really. Seokjin thinks about playing it off, going on with his insistence that these few weeks have been all good and easy and not at all the confusing, uncomfortable experience, spurred on by this pact that they’ve made.

“Tell you a secret, Hoba,” Seokjin says instead. “It’s actually lemon-lemon-difficult-lemon.”

Hoseok shoots a sideways smile at Seokjin, the kind that disarms him with its warmth. “Lemon-lemon-difficult-lemon? That’s not a thing.”

“Ya! Are you doubting me right now?”

“Never, hyung,” Hoseok responds. His tone shifts. “Do you want to stop, though? I know I kind of just pulled you into this whole agreement without thinking. You really don’t have to keep me company just because I made you agree to something half asleep. There’s nothing wrong with how you were before.”

Seokjin rolls his eyes. “Do you think you could make me do anything, Hoseokie? I’m just here giving the rest of the world a chance by giving my handsome face a break from dating. Besides,” and Seokjin has to really be very, very brave now, because he’s going to be v-u-l-n-e-r-a-b-l-e, “it’s not a bad idea. After, you know, Juwon.” He smiles despite himself. “I think I could use a break from the rest of the world, too.”

“Even though it’s lemon-lemon-difficult-lemon?” Hoseok asks.

“Especially because it’s lemon-lemon-difficult-lemon.”

“Okay, then,” Hoseok agrees. He turns back to the computer, clicks a few times and it powers down. “Shall we go home, then?” 

“Please. I wanted to be asleep like an hour ago. Hoba, your hyung just can’t take these late nights anymore.” Seokjin gets up and fakes a yawn, which turns into a real one halfway through.

“You stay up way later than me most nights,” Hoseok complains, and he’s standing by the door of his studio with a fond, fond smile on his face. “Come on. You can sleep in the car on the way back.”

Because it’s Seokjin and Hoseok, obviously the lemon-lemon-difficult-lemon thing has to take on a life of its own.

It starts the next morning, when Hoseok comes to work with drinks for all of the members. Seokjin finds that his usual choice of green tea has a slice of lemon in it.

“Lemon-lemon-difficult-lemon,” Hoseok says, grinning when Seokjin raises his eyebrows at him.

Of course that means Seokjin has to coordinate with the staff to make sure that every single one of their snacks is lemon-themed for their next shoot.

“Hyung, why,” Namjoon asks when he sees and despairs over the snack options, even though he’s quite fond of lemons.

“Lemon-lemon-difficult-lemon,” Seokjin responds, and he’s fighting down a smile as he waits for Hoseok to spot the snacks and burst into laughter.

Hoseok sends an anonymous fruit basket to Seokjin filled with lemons. Seokjin sends back a gift hamper of lemon-scented soaps. Hoseok decides that the next Run BTS punishment is to dress up as a lemon, except it backfires because Jimin loses the challenge and he is very, very upset about this lemon phase two of his beloved members are going through.

“Hyungs, I don’t know what this is about, but can you please stop now ,” a very angry, lemon-like Jimin hisses. “I haven’t been able to smell anything but lemons for days!”

Hoseok falls over laughing and struggles to put his arms around Jimin’s lemon suit, saying he’s sorry, the hyungs are just being silly, they’ll stop but also can he please take a million photos of Jimin because he looks so, so cute in this outfit.

Jimin agrees, but only after Hoseok and Seokjin promise that they will stop subjecting the rest of the members to lemons and keep it to the two of them. So they drop the lemons– mostly, though Seokjin keeps on slipping lemons into random corners of Hoseok’s lives– and keep this extra attentiveness towards each other, the quiet noticing in the knowledge that they’re doing something silly and hard together. This, in turn, has them shifting their habits around each other a little, bit by bit.

Like the next day they have off. Seokjin’s recuperated some of his joy for gaming, and he’s getting really into the online mode of Mario Kart that’s just come out when Hoseok wanders into the living room and plops down right next to him.

“Guh,” Hoseok says in lieu of hello.

“Thought you were headed out today,” Seokjin comments, eyes carefully on the TV screen to give Hoseok Emotional Distance.

“Producer hyungs asked if it was cool if Junghoon might also be at the event,” Hoseok replies. “Said work came up.”

“Oh,” Seokjin responds. He turns to Hoseok. “Wanna play, then?” He makes a move to hand his controller to Hoseok, but he waves Seokjin off.

“Nah. Just here for the company.” He’s already got his nose in his phone, fussing with it in a way that suggests he’s doing some complicated codey, photo-edity thing on it.

Which is nice. For Seokjin. Because maybe, just maybe, he was feeling a little morose about gaming alone in the dorms today. For no particular reason. For no reason at all, especially not because he spent a lot of last night looking at some old texts from Juwon, and feeling guilty about not missing Juwon that much but really, really missing how when they first started dating, they could do nothing for hours. Together.

So Seokjin really doesn’t mind that Hoseok’s here just to look at TikToks and scroll through Instagram. Prefers it, even, because he’s spent the whole week talking and being animated and the low-grade companionship of doing things separately in the same room is exactly what he could use right now. 

"Am I disturbing you?" Seokjin asks Hoseok after he's spent the last five matches yelling non-stop, his kart constantly driving off the rails of the insane maps he’s been put on.

Hoseok looks up from his phone, incredulous. "No? I find your screams comforting." 

What.

Hoseok must sense his confusion, because he frowns and continues. "You know what I mean, hyung! It's like, you screeching horribly at Mario Kart is a refreshing reminder we're still just twenty-something year olds and not like, permanently damaged by being in front of cameras all the time."

Seokjin doesn't really know what to say to that. The worst bit is Hoseok's not even trying to screw with him, like Jungkook or Yoongi might. He means everything that comes out of his mouth.

"Why the fuck did we call you J-Hope," Seokjin mutters to himself instead, turning back to his video game. Hoseok makes a little cute blurb of acknowledgement as he looks back at his phone, his toes wiggling under Seokjin's thighs.

Seokjin figures that the afternoon is a one-off. It’s not like Hoseok and him don’t like hanging out with each other, it’s just that they don’t… casually? Hoseok’s usually out and about during his days off; Seokjin has his cooling off activities, but he tends to take it much easier unless he’s already made plans. But the evening before they have their next day off, Hoseok’s poking his head into Seokjin’s room, asking if he feels like taking a drive out to Dumulmeori. He just saw it in an episode of some show he’s been watching, Hoseok says, and wanted to go take some pictures there, if Seokjin would be up for it.

Hoseok sounds so excited about the lotus flowers that Seokjin leaves out the fact that they will all have wilted in the autumn. Instead he agrees to make lunch as long as Hoseok is the one driving out in the morning, and quietly cancels his tennis lesson as soon as Hoseok’s left his room.

It’s only when they get to Dumulmeori that Seokjin recalls he was last here a few years ago, a few boyfriends before. As predicted, the lotus flowers are long dead but it’s a beautiful day out, the lakes opening out into the sky and giving the impression of endless space around them. Seokjin gives himself a moment to recall what had brought him here last time. Thinks it might have been because Dongsun had been really into the historical sites at the time – Dongsun was a recreational LARPer – and wanted to check it out.

Seokjin finds himself looking for that hint of bittersweetness that he gets whenever he thinks about Dongsun, who broke up with him a few months after when Seokjin was about to start his stadium tour. But there’s only fondness for the memory they shared together in Dulmulmeori, where Dongsun spent most of the time excitedly rambling about how the area had been a resting area for boatmen, shuttling people and goods to and from the capital.

Seokjin glances over to Hoseok, who’s got his eyes closed, arms spread as he faces the water. Hoseok’s got a small content smile on his face as the sun hits his face perfectly. He looks… small. Cute. Pretty.

Pretty?

It’s fine, Seokjin thinks to himself. It is absolutely normal to think that your friend and band member is very, very pretty. This is a perfectly platonic thought to have. You tell all of the members that they’re pretty all the time! Because it’s true!

An internal voice that sounds a lot like Yoongi hmmms in response. But do you think they’re pretty like you think Hoseokie is pretty right now, internal-voice Yoongi asks.

“Yes!” Seokjin says in response, and he doesn’t realise he’s said it out loud until Hoseok opens his eyes and turns to look at him.

“Yes what, hyung?” Hoseok asks, as Seokjin scrambles to pull his phone out of his pocket and snaps a photo of Hoseok without even looking.

“I’ve just taken the greatest photo of you in the world, Hoba!” Seokjin snaps a few more photos without looking, then pretends to inspect his phone carefully in the hopes that Hoseok won’t notice how his face has gone red after being caught out talking to himself. “ARMY’s hearts will stop after seeing these,” Seokjin says, flicking through his phone gallery randomly.

Hoseok walks over and peers over Seokjin’s shoulder to look at the photos he’s taken. They’re all incredibly blurry, Hoseok only recognisable as a patch of green and brown in Seokjin’s haste to whip his phone out. 

Hoseok bursts into laughter. “Aish, hyung,” he says, shaking his head. “What is this?” He takes the phone out of Seokjin’s hand gently and swipes through the rest of the photos, giggling as he finds each of them blurrier than the last. Then he swipes up to the camera app, directs the phone at Seokjin’s face, and Seokjin hears the telltale click sounds of photos being taken in quick succession.

Hoseok swipes through a few options until he finds one he likes and nods at it approvingly, then turns the screen around to show Seokjin. It’s a photo of him with the trees swaying in the background; somehow Hoseok’s captured him at just the right moment so he looks candid instead of startled, his eyes fond and warm.

It’s the kind of photo ARMY would call ‘incredibly boyfriend', Seokjin thinks.

“Now that’s a heartstopping photo,” Hoseok says, eyes virtually cresents as he hands the phone back to Seokjin. “Maybe Seokjinie-hyung needs some photography lessons, hmm?”

“That’s it, you,” Seokjin says as he takes back his phone, before he puts his hands on Hoseok’s shoulders, turns him around, and starts marching them both off in one direction. “I am a fantastic photographer,” Seokjin continues, “and I am going to prove it to you by taking not one, not two, but a whole photo shoot of stunning photos. Starting with that big red tree over there, and then we’ll do some by the fountains, and then we can eat lunch and we can brainstorm some more because I am out of ideas!”

“Sounds good, hyung.” Hoseok’s giggling as they stumble forward together, shoulders shaking underneath Seokjin’s hands. “As long as I get some of you, too?”

“Hoseokie,” Seokjin’s spinning Hoseok round again as they reach the foot of the red tree, whose leaves fall with every rustle. “I couldn’t stop you if I tried. Now smile!”

They do end up taking hundreds of good photos of each other, in between eating and laughing and chatting away. On the drive home–this time with Seokjin behind the driver’s seat–he sees Hoseok smiling to himself as he appropriates Seokjin’s phone, searching through photos to send back to himself. He must have found the perfect photo to share on Weverse, Seokjin thinks. It’s only when he gets home, showers, gets into bed and checks his phone again that he realises that Hoseok’s sent a photo to their shared group chat with the members. It’s the first one he took of Seokjin that day, the one with the trees and the bright morning sky.

nature day with our handsomest, pretty flower-hyung , Hoseok writes with a million emojis trailing the text.

Pretty?

Seokjin tells himself he feels blushy just because it’s how anyone gets when they get a compliment from Hoseok. Certainly not any other reason.

kekekekekeke , Seokjin types in response. but what about the real flower himself??? Seokjin attaches a photo of Hoseok at lunchtime, doing the flower pose and looking a little rosy from the wind.

we can both be flowers , Hoseok texts back. seokjinie-hyung and hobihobi, flower boys forever ᵕ꒳ᵕ-☆

that’s really really great guys , Namjoon interjects, but can we all try and get some sleep plsplspls we have to be up again in 4 hours (-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩___-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩)

aw namjoonah if u wanted to be a flower boy too u only have to ask! leader-flower-nim keke Seokjin adds, then clicks his phone shut before he can read Namjoon’s long-suffering response in satisfaction.

Seokjin sleeps well that night.

It just so happens that it’s the first night he hasn’t looked at old photos of himself and Juwon since they broke up.

“Hobah,” Seokjin says at the end of a ten hour shoot, a whole sleet of performances with three different sets and five different outfits. It’s steaming hot in this room, partly because of the hot lighting and the lack of air-conditioning but mostly because they’re about twenty run-throughs deep into this shoot. “Jwehope.” He octopuses himself against Hoseok’s back, wrapping his sticky arms around Hoseok’s waist.

“Hm?” Hoseok squirms a little as Seokjin wipes his sweaty forehead onto Hoseok’s nape, but his attention is fixed on the screen in front of him. Jimin and Tae are also standing next to Hoseok, and the three of them have identical, furrowed expressions as the dance break plays on loop. 

It looks amazing. They look amazing. This take is the one and everyone knows it, but they’ll watch it another fifty times if Seokjin lets them.

“Wow, J-Hope, so sexy!” Seokjin crows as screen-Hoseok does that leg stretch move that drives everyone insane. He tucks his head onto Hoseok’s shoulder and the video switches to that impossible hip-arm-air-guitar sequence, the three members slick and confident in their movements. Lets out an impressed sound when the three of them slip back into formation and Jungkook slides out. “Yah, Jiminie, Taehyungie, you need to teach hyung how to move smooth like that.”

“Hyung already knows how to move like that,” Jimin responds, but his frown has been swapped out for a small, pleased smile. 

Seokjin shrugs, because otherwise they’ll get into a conversation about what he can and can’t do. That’s not what he’s here for. He burrows a little more into Hoseok. “J-Hope. Are you satisfied yet? Is your perfectly ninety degree angled leg straight enough yet? Can I bother you yet?” He puts a little whine in his voice, knowing that Hoseok is more likely to let himself move on from a take if he senses any of them are tired.

“You’re already bothering me by being so hot,” Hoseok says drily, pulling at the arms around his waist with almost no force. Jimin and Taehyung titter at the double entendre, and it’s enough to break them out of work mode. 

Hoseok makes a quick nod to the director, they all say a quick thanks to the camera crew, then turns to look back at Seokjin. “Jin-hyung?” He’s trying to gauge if it’s something serious or if Seokjin’s just messing around.

“Did you see my Weverse comment?” Seokjin says, straightening up to pull them backwards, where the exit of the room is. Jimin and Taehyung have run off ahead, probably to plead their manager into getting snacks for them from the vending machine. 

“Which one? You managed to squeeze, like, fifty comments into this shoot.” Hoseok deflates a little as Seokjin pulls them out of the room and into a hallway, then turns them around so Hoseok’s the one leading them into the dressing room. 

“Drink, Hobah, drink. Let’s go for a drink after we take all this makeup off,” Seokjin says. Hoseok’s fingers curl into Seokjin’s arms like he’s a backpack and pulls him in closer. Seokjin likes it; he’s of the opinion he would have made a great backpack in another life.

“Dwink?” Hoseok says, aegyo seeping into his voice. “Seokjinnie-hyung wants to go for a dwink?”

“Mmm, I still have that wine my brother sent me the other week,” Seokjin says, and Hoseok nods approvingly as they settle into their dressing room, where the other five members are in varying stages of undress as they change back into their everyday wear.

It’s part of their ritual now, getting drinks after a shoot if it’s not too late. Since it’s been too cold to go on day trips and casual night outs still aren’t an option, Hoseok and Seokjin have taken to getting drinks at either of their apartments when time allows. It’s never really heavy on the drinks–Hoseok, for all that he says that he’s improved, never gets past two glasses of wine–but they’ll game together. Watch a movie. They’ll even cook together sometimes, Hoseok dutily chopping away whatever is needed while Seokjin does the bulk of the work actually putting the meals together. 

(The other members join too, but somehow it’s become a Seokjin-and-Hoseok thing to host these gatherings, and a Seokjin-and-Hoseok thing to keep it up when the rest of the members can’t make it. As a joke he asked Taehyung why he never offered to host once, to which Taehyung just looked at Seokjin with a curious expression and said, “but it’s yours and Hobi-hyung’s thing. It’d feel weird anywhere else.”

Which was… true. Plus then Taehyung offered to bring chicken later that night, so Seokjin let him off the hook.)

Yoongi is already wrapped up in a sweater that swallows him as he walks over to where Seokjin is as he’s wiping his makeup off. He sits down on the chair adjacent to him, still on his phone, which is Yoongi-speak for pay attention to me now, please .

“Yoongi-yah,” Seokjin says in greeting, distracted as he struggles to get a patch of glitter off his right cheek. “Are you coming to drinks tonight?”

“I’ve got to hop on a call with the UK producer-nims,” Yoongi says apologetically. He doesn’t move from the chair, though, which means there’s more to the conversation. 

Seokjin scrubs at the glitter a bit more.“Yoongi-chi. What’s up?”

“You and Hobi have been hanging out a lot lately,” Yoongi says.

“Mmhmm,” Seokjin says. The glitter’s not coming off. 

“And you haven’t been seeing anyone new,” Yoongi continues, slowly.

“Nope!” Seokjin says, still peering at his cheek. Ugh. He’ll have to borrow Hoseok’s balm cleanser later.

“Or old.”

“Uhuh.”

“That’s interesting,” Yoongi says, and there’s a question there that Seokjin can’t read. Seokjin looks away from the mirror and gives Yoongi a look.

“Is it?” Seokjin asks, because he’s too tired to try and guess what Yoongi is getting at when he acts all mysterious and cryptic.

Yoongi returns Seokjin’s look steadily and shrugs. “You tell me, hyung,” Yoongi says, then slips out of the chair as quietly as he came with an impish smile.

Seokjin just chalks it up to Yoongi’s demonic side. Maybe he’s preparing for his next mixtape and trying method acting as a tactic for creativity. Who knows with Yoongi; he’s more unpredictable than you’d expect under that calm exterior. Seokjin laughs it off with Hoseok later that night over wine, and all is forgotten.

Except maybe Yoongi did really do something demonic, because it appears that not all is forgotten. After Yoongi gets weird about this new hangout time that he and Hoseok are sharing, everyone else does, too.

Namjoon walks in on Hoseok and Seokjin watching Street Dance Girl Fighter one evening when they’re staying at the dorms and freezes as soon as he sees them in the living room. Seokjin’s seated on the floor, and Hoseok’s got an elbow on the side of Seokjin’s shoulder, pressing out a kink that’s gotten bad over the last few days.

“Namjoonie!” Hoseok says when he sees Namjoon, not pausing his ministrations. “Oh shit, have you seen this episode yet? We’ve just started–we’ll rewind the episode so you don’t get spoilers.” Hoseok presses hard on right on the tendon which has been especially tight and Seokjin winces, then holds onto Hoseok’s elbow when he attempts to go lighter on the pressure.

“No, no, keep it up, please Hoba, it’s good,” Seokjin pleads. He grabs the remote, pauses the show and turns to Namjoon. “Namjoon-ah. Join us? I know you’ve been waiting to watch this all week.” He pats at the empty space next to Hoseok on the couch.

“Um,” Namjoon sounds awkward. “I think I’m good, actually.”

Hoseok frowns. “But you said you were dying to see how the team battles would turn out.” 

“Did I?” Namjoon says, his voice flat. “Well. I’ve actually got. A book I can’t take my eyes off at the moment. Really great stuff about. Mapping. I truly couldn’t be taken away.”

“Mapping,” Seokjin repeats. He knows Namjoon likes books about all sorts of things, but… mapping?

“Yes! Mapping. Incredibly exciting stuff. And it’s an audiobook, too so I’ll be listening to it very, very loudly all evening long, so there’s absolutely no need to come find me or worry about me hearing. Anything,” Namjoon is sliding out of the living room as he speaks. “Goodnight Hobi! Goodnight hyung! Enjoy your time together!”

“Goodni-” Hoseok starts, and hears the door to Namjoon’s room click decisively. “Wow, okay. That book really is all that, huh?”

Seokjin nods, hissing lightly as Hoseok moves to work on the other side of his shoulder. “Weird, though, since I saw him and Jungkook gushing over the preview during break today. Thought they’d be dead set on catching tonight’s episode.”

Hoseok hums thoughtfully. “Maybe Namjoonie just needed his alone time.” He wiggles his eyebrows in a way that means maybe Namjoon needs his jerking off time .

“Noooo, Hoba, don’t make me imagine that,” Seokjin whines as he turns his head back to face the TV and reaches for the remote again.

“You’ve literally heard it all before, don’t pretend like you weren’t a part of our jerk off sessions,” Hoseok says as he presses his thumbs into the muscles around Seokjin’s spine. “Now hit play, please, wanna see what B-girl moves Yell pulls off this round.”

Then later that week Jungkook corners Seokjin mid-snack. By this. Seokjin means that Jungkook sits down right next to Seokjin right as he’s about to take a bite out of this bungeoppang the staff inexplicably brought for their meeting, and then the fish-shaped pastry is directed into Jungkook’s mouth on autopilot. It happens.

Seokjin thinks at least he’ll get a peaceful break for once, but mid-fish Jungkook stops and asks if the Jin dating group chat needs a status update. 

This catches Seokjin’s attention because as far as he’s aware, Jungkook’s never asked. He just knows when Seokjin is and isn’t in a relationship automatically, or else by means of the maknaes.

“Uh,” Seokjin stops and thinks about it. “It’s still on taken, right?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook says. “I was going to change it, but then you and Hobi-hyung started having your thing, so.” He shrugs, then takes another bite of fish-pastry.

“Sure, that works.” Seokjin doesn’t remember telling Jungkook about Hoseok and his anti-dick pact, but he figures that either one of them must have mentioned it at some point.

“It’s cool,” Jungkook says into his bungeoppang. “For the record. Your thing with Hobi-hyung. I think it’s sweet.” Then he’s got his doe eyes on full-force at Seokjin, like he’s hoping for Seokjin to say something substantial in response. 

“Right,” Seokjin says, feeling trapped. “My thing with Hoseokie. Is sweet.” Does… Jungkook want to join their pact, or something? Seokjin’s not sure he’s ever seen Jungkook date enough for an intentional sabbatical to be useful, but maybe he would feel more included if he did?

Seokjin’s just about to offer when Jungkook nods seriously at him, crams the rest of his bungeoppang into his mouth, and then gets up to slap Seokjin’s shoulder.

“Good talk, hyung,” Jungkook says, and then he’s wandering off to fight with Jimin over the last piece of bungeoppang.

Seokjin is so caught off guard by this series of odd interactions that he asks Hoseok about it later that night. They’re back in Hope World, Hoseok having made much better progress on one of his songs after an extended break and wanting to show Seokjin his most recent demo.

(It’s incredible. Seokjin can’t wait to steal the bridge when they perform it for a fanmeeting one day).

Hoseok hums in affirmation as Seokjin details the multiple strange conversations he’s had with the members these last few weeks. They’re decked out on the couch, Hoseok curled up in a ball as Seokjin lies flat and explains in animated detail how Namjoon has initiated no less than four personal conversations with him this week, all to do with changing seasons and tides and also, inexplicably, their pact as the catalyst for it all.

“I’m not sure why he keeps on bringing the last one up, though,” Seokjin says as he reaches up to bat at Hoseok's hair, freshly dyed brown. Hoseok ducks his head down and lets Seokjin ruffle at the hair, feeling its soft and fluffy texture.

“Jiminie’s been asking me all sorts of questions too lately, stuff about whether he needs to move out of our room and if I need more space. The only one who’s been normal has been Taehyungie, although–” Hoseok tilts his head up in recollection–” he did sniff my hair while hugging me the other day before telling me that it hasn’t happened yet, I can tell, it doesn’t smell right .”

“Might just be his perfumotherapy kick speaking, though. Taehyungie did that the other day with me and said something similar,” Seokjin responds. “But the rest of them?”

“They’re being fucking weird, yeah,” Hoseok says. “Do you think they’re feeling left out, hyung? That’s why they’re all acting like this?”

“Could be,” Seokjin says. It doesn’t sit quite right with him – the members aren’t acting jealous so much as it seems like they’re all in some secret with each other – but he hasn’t got any other ideas. “We can ask Namjoon, maybe? He’ll have a level headed take on the situation.”

“Yeah, Joonie’s always good with stuff like this,” Hoseok agrees, then shuffles down so he can cuddle up next to Seokjin properly.

“Oh my god,” Namjoon says in a whisper when Hoseok and Seokjin approach him the next evening. They’ve just wrapped up a listening session in their dorms for a demo that might work as their upcoming title track, and the rest of the members have wandered off to do their own thing in the dorms while waiting for their delivery order to arrive. “Is this happening now? Now?”

“We can always have a chat later if now’s not a good time,” Hoseok says, startled by Namjoon’s dramatic response. Maybe he’s got an important gym session coming up or something. Namjoon shakes his head vigorously.

“No, now’s good–oh my god,” Namjoon says, standing up to pace their dorm living room. “Can I get the rest of the members for this conversation? For, like, emotional support.”

“If… you’d like?” Hoseok replies.

Namjoon stops pacing, pulls his phone out, types frantically, then throws his phone onto the couch in excitement. A notification sound: Seokjin pulls out his phone to see that Namjoon has typed it’s happening!!!!! meet at living room in 5 , followed by the rest of the members shooting back messages of affirmation almost immediately.

“Guys, do you think this is a bit much,” Seokjin says five minutes later, when he and Hoseok are seated on two of the dining chair seats, facing the rest of the members on the living room couch. 

Hoseok looks as uncomfortable as Seokjin feels, pinned down by the gaze of his very attentive life partners. “I thought you said you weren’t going to make a big deal out of this, Namjoonie-ah,” Hoseok says.

“We’re not!” Namjoon is practically vibrating with energy. He takes a deep breath and forces himself to calm down. “We’re really not, guys, we just thought it would be better to do it like this–”

“It’s about the ambience, hyungs,” Jimin interjects, perched on the arm of the sofa, legs crossed. “Indulge us?” Jungkook and Taehyung nod in affirmation.

Clearly all those games of Mafia have gotten to them.

“Well, okay,” Seokjin sighs. Might as well get this over and done with. “So. The thing.”

“The thing.” Jimin parrots, nodding supportively.

“You and Hoseok’s thing,” Yoongi adds. He’s got his arms crossed in a casual posture, but there’s a twinkle in his eyes that suggests that demon-Yoongi lingers just underneath.

“Yes,” Seokjin says.

There’s a long pause.

Seeing that no one is willing to drive the conversation forward, Hoseok bites the bullet and begins, warily. “So, Seokjin-hyung and I have noticed you guys have been acting a bit… different lately, and we thought maybe it had to do with some recent changes, and we just wanted to check in to see how you felt about it, although I’m not sure why our–”

“Are you guys fucking or in love?” Namjoon blurts out, then cringes immediately.

Huh?

“Hyung, no,” Jungkook groans and punches Namjoon’s arm softly. “We said we weren’t going to open with that.” 

Then he turns back to Hoseok and Seokjin. “But since hyung’s asked–which one is it, then?”

Surely Seokjin’s hallucinating this conversation. He had a bad mushroom at dinner; that can be the only explanation for the words he’s hearing right now.

“Wh-what are you talking about?” Hoseok squeaks out. His eyebrows are raised so high, they’ve disappeared under his fringe.

“Well, it’s just that you tend to fuck first when you’re dating, hyung, whereas Seokjin-hyung is a feelings first kinda guy. Different strokes for different folks.” Jungkook says. “Wasn’t sure which it was going to be with this crossover episode.”

“Dating?” Seokjin repeats.

“Kookie.” Jimin sighs, pushes his hair back in frustration. “Not helping.”

“To be fair, we were all thinking it.” Jungkook responds. He turns to Taehyung for reassurance, who tilts his head in an ambiguous gesture. Yoongi nods vaguely, a small act of solidarity with Jungkook.

“I know, Kookie, but don’t you think we’re digging our own–never mind.” Jimin pinches the bridge of his nose for a moment, then schools his expression into something neutral and welcoming. “Hoseokie-hyung. Seokjin-hyung. You had some news to share?”

Hoseok, whose soul left his body during Jimin and Jungkook’s interaction, jerks back into awareness. “Sorry, did you just say that Seokjinie-hyung and I are dating?!”

“Well,” Jimin says sheepishly. “Wasn’t that what you were going to talk to Namjoon-hyung about? We just thought. Maybe you would want to tell us in one go? And then we could say we all loved you and supported whatever you two wanted to do about it.”

“Jimin-ah,” Hoseok says. “That is very sweet of you. But hyung and I are not dating. At all. Or fucking.”

“The opposite, actually,” Seokjin adds. “This is why you’ve all been acting so weird lately?”

Jimin freezes, then turns back to look at the other four members on the interrogating side of the living room. There’s a moment of silence as they soak in this news, and then–

Pandemonium.

“It’s just that you’ve been spending a lot of studio time with Hobi lately–”

“And he basically confirmed it when we spoke the other day –”

“Plus you’ve both been super super touchy lately, like next-level touchy–”

“–and hyung, you literally flirt with Hoba on Weverse all the time–”

The members talk over each other as they try to express all the ways in which, apparently, Seokjin and Hoseok have been acting like “a couple one love confession away from running away and eloping” (Namjoon’s words). Only Taehyung remains silent, watching the chaos unfold around him impassively.

“Are you all done yet?” Seokjin asks, once it seems like everyone has gotten their initial thoughts out of the way. The chatter dies down immediately. 

Taehyung raises his hand. “Hyungs, may I say something?”

Seokjin looks at Hoseok, who shrugs, as if to say: well, it’s not like things could get any weirder from here . 

“I’ll allow it,” Seokjin says with the air of a judge, because the only way to get through the rest of this conversation is to lean into its ridiculousness.

“Thank you,” Taehyung says primly. He gets up, takes a few steady steps, then turns back to the members sitting on the couch. “I told you the egg hadn’t hatched yet. HA!” 

Then, with as much seriousness as he started, Taehyung turns and sits back on his couch. “That’s all, hyungs.”

“Alright, Taehyungie,” Seokjin says. “Right. So this is a huge mess, and I’m clearing it up now. Hoseokie and I aren’t dating; we have a pact together. And no , it is not a sex pact.”

“I mean, we already kinda have one of those,” Jimin mumbles.

(He’s not wrong).

Hoseok chimes in. “We’ve made a pact to take a break from relationships for the time being. No-dick gang.” He points to himself and Seokjin.

Silence.

“Oh,” Yoongi says, bewildered by this new piece of information. He frowns. “But why, though? And what’s with the name?”

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with the name,” Hoseok defends. Yoongi nods encouragingly, partly because he’ll go along with anything Hoseok says, and partly so that they get to the heart of the matter. “And we did it because… I dunno. Just seems like I’m not very good at being in relationships. So. Why not just call it quits for now?”

Which just about sums it up, really. 

“But hyungs,” Jimin says. “That doesn’t make any sense. You two love being in relationships.”

Seokjin lets out a wry smile. “Maybe relationships don’t like being with us.”

Namjoon, who has been very quiet this whole time, lets out a massive sigh. 

Hoseok picks up on this immediately. “Namjoonie?” 

"I thought I was being perceptive and reading between the lines this time," Namjoon says quietly.  "I thought you guys were being subtle." Oh god, he seems like he’s about to cry. Seokjin thinks he sees a tear welling up on the corner of Namjoon's eye.

“Namjoonie, no, don’t cry,” Hoseok says, hands fidgeting around his side, unsure what to do about Namjoon’s impending tears. “I’m sorry it’s not what you thought it was.”

“No, that’s not it,” Namjoon says. He looks up at Hoseok and Seokjin, eyes wet with unshed tears. “I’m angry at the people who made you feel that way, and upset that we didn’t pick up on it.”

“Aish, Joon-ah, it’s really okay,” Seokjin reaches over and places what he hopes is a comforting hand on Namjoon’s shoulder. “Think of it as just a silly challenge for Hoba and I, hmm? We’re grinding singledom for that diamond tier rank.”

“I don’t even know what that means,” Namjoon says. He’s rambling now.  “Maybe I just got a little caught up in the fiction of it all? It’s just that you guys looked so much like you do whenever you’re in a relationship, except happier even, and then when I thought about it it all just made sense, and that made me happy in turn, that two of my favourite people in the world had gotten together.”

“Oh,” Hoseok says in response. He looks like he might cry himself now.

Namjoon scrubs his eyes. “I’m sorry if I made things really uncomfortable these last few weeks. I got too caught up in one possibility, and I guess the rest of us did too.” The other boys nod empathetically.

Uh oh. Seokjin senses that this path is a one-track road to Bangtan self-flagellation hours. And for what? A small, tiny misunderstanding?

Not on his watch.

“To be fair,” Seokjin says, putting a teasing tone into his voice. “Hoseokie and I are incredibly good looking together, and we have been spending a lot of time together in dark, quiet corners –” he glances over to Hoseok, making an expression that says please, Hoba, please help me cheer up our members or I’m going to have a crisis about it.

Luckily, Hoseok picks up on his signal right away. He nods. “Ah, yes, lots of time in dark, quiet corners, and of course we all know that Jinnie-hyung makes a wonderful, perfect boyfriend, who remembers all the important dates and plans for them, even if he never lets anyone win at video games just to be nice–”

“–but not as much as Hoseokie here is thoughtful and hardworking, not to mention very, very attractive whenever he’s working and has that serious look on his face which is really quite overwhelming–

“–and yes, maybe sometimes I feel a bit breathless at that time hyung picked me up in his arms for a photoshoot, like, not just in a sexy way but in a rom-com moment kind of way–”

“–do I think about being Hoseok’s boyfriend? Of course I do! Who doesn’t? It’s just the way of the world: you eat, you poop, you sleep, you think about being Jwehope’s boyfrie–”

“–to be honest I really don’t understand how anyone could give up on hyung–

“–point is it’s perfectly understandable how you all made the assumptions you did, even if they were wrong. Expected, even!” Seokjin concludes with triumph. Hoseok makes an empathetic thumbs up at his statement.

The mood in the room has shifted significantly through Seokjin and Hoseok’s tirade. Gone are the impending emo-vibes; instead Seokjin thinks he detects… smugness? 

“Well,” Yoongi says, after a moment. “That clears things up a lot, guys. Thanks.”

“Oh!” Hoseok says. “I’m glad to hear that.” He sounds relieved by this clever act of course-correction.

Yoongi turns to Taehyung. “So this is what you meant when you said the egg was cooked, but the shell might take a while to crack?”

Taehyung nods happily. “Yes, Yoongi-hyung. It’s a thick one.”

“Virtually impenetrable,” Yoongi says. He turns back to Seokjin and Hoseok. “Hm. I guess I should have expected this from you two, really.”

“Expected… what?” Seokjin asks, confused. He’s not sure what about this whole conversation, this whole arrangement could be expected at all.

At this, Yoongi breaks out into a gummy grin. “Just that it would take a game, of all things, for you two to work through any feelings.”

The conversation doesn’t end there, obviously. 

What follows Yoongi’s cheeky comment is a heartfelt assertion by all of the members that Seokjin and Hoseok are perfectly fine the way they are, that relationships are a matter of circumstances, and that they are very supportive of this pact (“Although no, hyungs, no way I want to join in on it,” Jungkook assures them when Hoseok brings up the jealousy point) but that they are in no way obliged to keep it up out of some sense of deficiency. Yoongi brings out his whiskey and there’s a lot of emotional sharing from all of the members, which Seokjin treasures with all his heart but also hides away in his subconscious, where it will be absorbed incrementally for the rest of his life.

Seokjin and Hoseok make their assurances to everyone that nothing changes. They’ll keep the pact for now, since it works, until they find someone they really, really like. They’ll keep doing their activities together– the wine nights which have become a group thing, the little outings. It will all be as if this conversation never happened at all , Hoseok insists, rosy-cheeked from the whiskey, except with more self-awareness .

Haha! What a good joke.

Self awareness is terrible. Seokjin wishes that he had evolved into a jellyfish instead. Jellyfish don’t have to think about whether their past relationships have failed out of a fear of falling deep into something beyond their control. Jellyfish don’t have to worry about whether they’ve accidentally entered a relationship with their bandmate-slash-best-friend. Jellyfish don’t thirst over said bandmate-slash-best-friend during concert practice.

Most importantly, Seokjin’s pretty sure that jellyfish don’t have complex memories, which would be really useful right now, since last week’s conversation has reminded him of an important fact he’s kept locked up until now.

That being: Seokjin’s always been really gone on Hoseok.

He’s gone for all of the members, of course, in ways that he can’t even begin to examine, let alone understand. It’s just that with Hoseok he does, in fact, understand. 

Because he was gone on Hoseok first. And has never really… stopped.

Picture this scenario. Seokjin’s twenty and feeling aimless in life when some guy comes up to him on the street and asks if he wants to try out for a boyband. You’ve got the look for it , the guys says, and Seokjin thinks, sure, why not, it’s good practice for auditions anyways. Before he knows it he’s signed a contract and stepping into a practice room and everyone seems to actually know what’s going on, and Seokjin thinks, oh my god what have I gotten myself into . 

His first dance session is a disaster. Seokjin’s limbs don’t know how to do two things at once, let alone the five different things the choreographer wants. By the end of it he’s convinced that they’ll kick him out of the group as quickly as he came, and he’s just about to leave the room when a group of trainees gather together in a circle and start blasting some American song with a heavy beat. Curious, Seokjin wanders over, and in the middle of the circle there’s someone doing an insane robot dance.

“That’s Hoseok,” one of the trainees next to Seokjin whispers. “Hijun told me that he used to compete in the Gwangju dance scene before coming to Seoul.” He recognises the boy dancing; he was a row ahead of Seokjin, the one with a focused expression and sharpest lines out of all of them. The boy is still dancing with sharp lines now, but there’s a looseness in his expression that suggests he’s having the time of his life as pivots, then jokingly taps the shoulder of another trainee so that they switch spots.

Seokjin watches as a few other trainees have a go in the circle; some have clearly practiced before, and the ones that haven’t make up for it in their enthusiasm, bolstered by the cheering of other boys. He’s just about to leave before the circle gets to him when someone comes up to his left. It’s Hoseok.

“It’s Seokjin-ssi, right?” Hoseok says quietly. 

“Yes,” Seokjin replies. “And you’re Hoseok-ssi?”

“That’s right.” Hoseok pauses for a moment, as if trying to figure out what to say next. “Today’s choreography was really difficult, huh.”

“Mm.” Seokjin says neutrally. He’s not sure why they’re having this conversation, why Hoseok’s ducked out of the dance circle to talk to him.

“We’ve all worked hard,” Hoseok continues. He nods to himself, then looks back up at Seokjin. “I look forward to practicing with you more, Seokjin-ssi. We’ll all help each other here, alright?”

Hoseok’s earnestness catches Seokjin off guard. When dancing, Hoseok is larger than life, with a slick confidence that speaks to professional levels of training. And yet Hoseok seems utterly genuine in his request that they help each other, a little shy even though he was the one to approach Seokjin. It brings attention to the fact that Hoseok is actually younger than Seokjin; smaller, too, now that they’re face to face, although he clearly has more experience.

“Hyung,” Seokjin finds himself saying. Hoseok’s eyebrows quirk up, surprised. Seokjin forces himself to continue. “You should speak to me casually, since we’ll be working hard together. You’re still in high school, right? That makes you my dongsaeng, then.”

Hoseok’s surprised expression breaks into a smile, one which lights up his whole face. “Alright then, Seokjin-ss– I mean, Seokjin-hyung.”

In hindsight, this interaction alone marked the start of Seokjin’s downfall. In part its admiration for Hoseok’s talent, and behind that talent, a razor-sharp focus and work ethic that honestly scares Seokjin a little. But it’s also Hoseok’s quiet kindness; Seokjin learns that Hoseok goes out of his way to reiterate this ethic of care to all the new trainees, even though outside of training he’s subdued, always listening more than he speaks. Seokjin notices how Hoseok always stays behind for extra practice, under the guise that it gives him an excuse to duck his schoolwork a little longer, but spends most of it working through the parts that other trainees had trouble with earlier in the day.

Noticing these things sparks a crush in Seokjin, who finds in Hoseok many of the things he looks for and lacks in himself. That’s not a problem in itself; a little excess affection is to be expected, particularly when training takes up the bulk of his free time. Seokjin doesn’t let himself fret too much about it. It will pass.

The problem is that as the months pass and the group as a whole gets closer to each other, Seokjin’s feelings don’t pass. By all means, it should. Seokjin’s seen not only the gentle, calm Hoseok at practice sessions, but also the frustrated, dejected and self-critical version of him after a bad evaluation. By now, the whole group have been exhausted and hungry around each other, sweat-stained and emotional. His first impression of the members as being a step away from industry-ready has been debunked ruthlessly; beneath the bravado is a bunch of young people just trying really, really hard to not lose their nerve constantly under intense pressure. Hoseok might be the best example of that above all.

The feelings don’t pass, because something else develops between Hoseok and Seokjin. Friendship, obviously; they fold themselves into an intricate set of relations with the other members, more intensely felt than Seokjin has ever experienced before. It’s the first time Seokjin has felt responsible for other people in this way, when he goes looking for emotional support only to realise that ah shit, he’s the hyung here , and he better get himself together because he is the emotional support. And amidst it all is Hoseok, with all his bundles of anxieties wrapped up inside his body, learning how to smooth out the bumps when the rest of the members are at their wits end. Seokjin develops a rock-solid trust in Hoseok; a sense of relief in knowing that Hoseok will pick up what Seokjin misses, and that he will do the same. That they bumble through things together, quietly redirecting the energy of the group until it works and feels natural. 

This shift allows Seokjin and Hoseok to be more candid with each other. Not with Feelings–that will only come as Namjoon grows into his role as leader, develops a penchant for sharing circles, and gently herds the rest of them towards Emotional Openness. But with the rest of it. The slight shame Seokjin feels when he goes to Hoseok for help with dance fades over time; Hoseok sees them regardless, and meets it with level-headed tips and endless repetitions until Seokjin finally gets it right. Hoseok comes to Seokjin for help with school work, which Seokjin is bewildered by until Hoseok confesses that Namjoon’s brain works too fast to be helpful and Yoongi is busy enough trying to get his own academics in order.

“I don’t need to get it all right,” Hoseok says, mouth triangular as Seokjin flips through his notecards for an upcoming exam. “I just need to pass the damn thing, since I’m kinda sitting on the low end right now.”

“Got it,” Seokjin says with a thumbs up. “Get seventy points and hyung will treat you to lunch, since that’s the same grade I got for social studies.”

Hoseok ends up scoring seventy-five points, and fake-argues with Seokjin when he pretends to back out on the offer, on account of scoring too high, Hoseok-ah, I said seventy, not seventy plus! What do you think this is, Problematic Men? We’re looking for the absolute average here, not genius.

(Seokjin ends up treating Hoseok to lunch.)

So maybe the intimacy gets to Seokjin. Maybe it turns his casual infatuation for Hoseok into something scary and undefinable. It’s one thing to have a crush on Hoseok, the sweet guy from dance practice with the killer body roll. It’s another thing entirely to keep crushing on Hoseokie, who’s got a sharp temper sometimes but also a golden, golden heart, so big that he’s constantly overwhelmed by what to do about it. It’s another thing entirely to think about kissing Hoseok, who he knows now in this intractable way, to think about what it might be like to cup Hoseok’s face in his hands and see wh

Seokjin is twenty one. He’s about to be contractually bound to six people for the next seven years, none of whom have any idea what’s in store for them. It’s getting serious enough that he’s got a persona now, a cool mysterious silent type, hilarious in how far it is from what he’s like in his real life. He’s just figured out what grooving even means. Seokjin’s not equipped for any of this, least of all his feelings.

So Seokjin does what he does best: he redirects.