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Jimin put down the last box with a grunt, wiping off the drops of sweat on her forehead. It was a hot summer day. Not a cloud in sight. Barely any wind. The sun was shining so brightly and fervently that you’d think it had something to prove. It was the type of weather where people either spent the day at the beach or the pool, or in front of the AC. And oh how Jimin wished she was sitting in front of the air conditioner right now. Completely naked. In a bucket of ice.
Instead here she was. Carrying heavy boxes around her new apartment, unpacking them, organizing, whining whenever she could not find the stuff she was looking for, cursing at not-so-light materials falling on her big toe (seriously had it been like the third time already?), summoning Satan’s personal heater.
The past month had been hectic. The joy and excitement of having found an apartment, of finally being able to move out, had been short-lived as reality ran over her like a truck.
The floor had to be laid, walls had to be painted (decision paralysis over what colors to choose for every room had nearly put her in the psychiatric ward).The essentials for survival such as the fridge, microwave, stove (a functional kitchen in general), WiFi (the most important one; there is no way she could get through a day without finding weird videos to entertain herself with or without playing Gardenscapes to wind down) had to be installed. And all of that could only run if there was electricity available. Water and gas were important too. A bed to snore in.
And of course none of it had gone well during the first try. Between her parents arguing whether a plank was laid too much to the left or to the right, her having bought too little paint, the moving truck being almost 2 hours late, the kitchen installation being postponed for almost two weeks, her parents again arguing over how to assemble the furniture, and so, so , many boxes to unpack. And of course there was also her job that she had to clock into.
Well, let’s say that all of this had made her contemplate jumping out of the window a few times.
But today she would finally be over and done with it. The most important things at least. The apartment was finally inhabitable and it started to feel like home as well. The more she unpacked, the more it got a Yu-Jimin-vibe to it.
There were only three boxes left. Mostly filled with books (that she barely ever read) and junk that was important to her or that seemed important. Decorations, her dinosaur and Shinchan figurines, shark plushies, photo albums, her collection of chargers. Things of that sort.
Except she didn’t take into account the possibility of today being the hottest day of the year. She was one sweat drop away from melting and becoming one with the floor.
But Jimin was determined to get things done today. Yes, tonight, or hopefully earlier, she would finally be able to relax. Order some take-out, throw herself on her bed, probably sleep for 12 hours. It was all planned out in her head. Absolutely nothing would distract her from her goal.
Nothing.
Except maybe for a random blue envelope that she found tucked away in one of the books that she hadn’t gotten herself to read yet (she actually couldn’t even remember owning it).
‘Huh, what’s this?’, Jimin said out loud as if anybody could hear her. She sat down on the floor in front of the box where she had taken the book out from. There was no name or address on the front of the envelope. No stamp, no stickers. Completely bland. She turned it around. It was glued shut.
Okay, so she had never even opened it in the first place.
Jimin tried to carefully open the envelope, but as her curiosity grew 10x stronger with each passing second (and so did her impatience), she eventually tore it open with her finger. She pulled out a blue letter. Jimin unfolded it and let her gaze travel over the content.
And with each word that she read, her eyes grew bigger. Her mouth dropped further. Her heart beat faster.
Hey Jimin,
I’m not good at this. But with graduation being just one week away, I wanted to get it off my chest. As honestly as I can.
Every time I see you, I just feel so happy. Your existence alone makes me happy.
And when you’re with me, all the noise goes away.
You’re the only person I feel this way with.
I love you. As a friend. And as more.
I’ve loved you for a long time. And I don’t want anybody else.
Please stay by my side.
When she read the final sentence, Jimin felt the heat rise to her cheeks. Yeah, the sun that wanted to prove something had officially lost against the writer of this letter.
This anonymous writer. No matter how often she re-read it, turned it around, checked all sides of the envelope. There was no name. No other obvious hint as to who the author was.
Who gave her this book?
“Come on, think Jimin, think”, she said to herself as she lightly and repeatedly knocked on her head.
Nothing.
God, why did she have to be cursed with the memory of a goldfish?
No matter how much she tried, Jimin really couldn’t recall anything. Which was an absolute and utter nightmare.
Because she had to know. She had to find out.
There must be something in this letter that could give her an answer, right?
Jimin re-read it, tracing her fingers over the blue paper. It said that graduation was one week away. This had to be about highschool, since she hadn’t graduated from university yet. Her highschool graduation which had been in-
“2019…”, Jimin breathed out as she started doing the math.
She felt her heart drop to her stomach as she counted a total of 6 years. This letter was 6 years old. This unopened and unanswered letter.
Suddenly the words “ please stay by my side ” filled her with immense guilt.
“ I love you. As a friend. And as more. I’ve loved you for a long time. ”
Okay, so they had been friends for a long time. Which meant that this person had to be part of her highschool friend group. A group of 8 (including herself) who had met during the first and second years of middle school and had stuck together until graduation.
After graduation, the group had kind of fallen apart. Their life choices had been so different, and things had gotten so busy with university life and other personal circumstances, that it had been hard to keep in regular contact with each other. Luckily Jimin still texted all of them from time to time.
Or well, almost all of them.
Jimin held up her hands and started counting down on 7 fingers. Recalling all of their names and with each name trying to get a feel of who could have possibly written her this letter.
“Let’s see”, Jimin once again talked out loud to nobody other than herself, “Aeri, Yizhuo, Ryujin, Yeji, Yujin, Chaewon and…”
Jimin paused as images popped up in her mind. So clear and vivid. As if she had seen her yesterday rather than 6 years ago. Her long black hair, big dark brown eyes, gummy smile, a mole on her cheek and another one under her eye. One on her chest and a few more on her arms. Always wearing black hoodies, oversized shirts, or flannel. It had been 6 years ago and Jimin still remembered her cute voice, her loud laugh, her expressive eyebrows.
She had the memory of a goldfish, but when it came to Kim Minjeong she still remembered every detail. Possibly because they had been friends throughout all 6 years of middle school and high school. She was the first friend she had made back then.
But more so because she had been Jimin’s crush during the last 2 years of high school. Jimin recalled when Aeri used to tease her over how often she would just stare at Minjeong, even if she was on the other side of the room. Or how she would jump at every opportunity to get her attention.
And then one day after graduation, Minjeong just… disappeared. Left the group chat, changed her number, deleted all her social media. Without telling any of them what happened. Without giving any of them a chance to reach out. To this day that is still the biggest unsolved mystery in Jimin’s life.
And it had been her biggest heartbreak.
For a moment Jimin briefly entertained the possibility of Minjeong having written this letter. The possibility of her unrequited crush not having been unrequited after all. And the concept of Minjeong confessing and Jimin never answering.
Yeah, suicide would be the only option to that.
Jimin shook her head. There was no way it could’ve been Minjeong. She remembered everything about Minjeong. She would’ve definitely remembered if she had given her the book.
Right?
In any case, there was only one way to get to the bottom of this.
She was going to contact every single one of them. At least the ones she could reach out to. It had become her new life mission. Jimin needed to know this to continue living her life peacefully. Even if it was already the distant past. And with their school reunion coming up in 3 days, well, that was her golden ticket to the answer.
Jimin grabbed her phone and called her first suspect. Even though she could already guess what the answer would be, she still had to be absolutely sure of it.
The red-haired girl appeared on her screen.
“Wow Jimin, what is this surprise ca-”
“Did you ever write me a love confession letter during graduation year?”, Jimin immediately asked without giving Aeri the time to finish.
“Uhm, good afternoon to you too?”, Aeri raised an eyebrow.
“Aeri, answer immediately. This is a matter of uppermost importance!”
“Okay first of all: ew? Me? Being in love with you?”, Aeri said as she started making fake gagging sounds.
“Alright, alright, I got the message. A bit rude though…”, Jimin uttered those last three words with a pout.
“Secondly, you can’t just ask that without giving me a background story? Give me all the juicy details”, Aeri moved closer to her screen, the smirk on her face making her even more of a menace than she already was.
“I just found it in a book while unpacking. It was written one week before our graduation day but I only opened it today. I feel like I’m going crazy.”
“Wait… you’re telling me that you have only read this letter after 6 years?”, Aeri gasped.
“Yes, I very much want the earth to consume me whole right now.”
“But how did it even get in that book?”
“I’m almost sure the book was a gift and that the letter was in it. But I can’t remember who gave it to me. I’m seriously going crazy.”
“Oh, maybe it was when we were at Ryujin’s house? Do you remember? Before graduation we all met up to give each other gifts and stuff?”
Jimin looked up at the ceiling as if it contained the entire timeline of her life. But not much came to her.
“Uhm, vaguely…”
“You seriously can’t remember who gave you a graduation gift?”
Jimin threw up her hands defensively.
“Okay, listen, I have a bad memory! We all know this!”
Aeri laughed, “if I was the person who gave you that book and letter, I would’ve killed you for forgetting.”
“Aeri. Don’t make this more difficult than it already is. I’m already feeling so guilty that I’m considering jumping out of the window. Like no bluff.”
“Why? What did the letter say?”
Jimin felt heat creep up on her cheeks again mixed with a sense of dread.
“Do you seriously want me to read it to you?”
“Duh? Come on, stop making me wait, oh my god.”
“Fine! Jesus, you’re impatient…”
Jimin grabbed the letter and read it out loud to Aeri. Each word made it feel like her head was set on fire repeatedly.
“Holy shit Jimin. She probably killed herself several times in her head while waiting for an answer that never came. Wow all the days that she looked at you, wondering if you would say something. Crazy stuff, crazy stuff…”
Jimin sighed loudly as she dropped her head back.
“Can you like… not make it worse?”
“Sorry, sorry”, sensing the seriousness of Jimin’s distress, Aeri’s voice was gentler now, “so… any ideas on who it might be?”
“I have no idea. Which is really frustrating. The only thing I can get out of this letter is that it has to be someone from our high school friend group.”
“Yeah, makes sense”, Aeri’s eyebrow suddenly went up as she examined Jimin’s face, ‘wait… don’t tell me you’re going to ask all of them about this?’
Jimin rubbed the back of her neck, avoiding Aeri’s gaze as she answered.
“Well… yes?”, she sighed, and threw her hands up defensively again, “listen I just need to know. I know it has been like 6 years but I need to know. And I seriously need to apologize to whoever it was, cause this guilt is about to be my cause of death.”
“I mean, it has been a long time. Whoever it was probably has moved on already, no?”
“Maybe. But I still want to know.”
Aeri smiled. No smirk. Just a soft, understanding smile.
“Alright, if you want to know then I’ll help you figure it out! Actually this timing is perfect considering the reunion is happening in 3 days. Guess the universe is giving you a divine chance at changing your life!”
“Okay, now you’re just being dramatic.”
Aeri held up a finger as if to shush Jimin.
“I’m not! Think about it. Highschool friends. You find a love confession letter 6 years later. Just 3 days before the reunion as if fated.. You see each other again. Lock gazes. Sparks fly. You talk to her, explain what happened. She laughs, you laugh. And then you fall in love on the spot. BOOM!”, Aeri exclaimed, making Jimin flinch, “A beautiful 200k+ words love story that sounds like destiny. The tags are slowburn, childhood friends to lovers, angst with a happy ending.”
“You’re insane”, Jimin deadpanned, “also you sounding like Yeji saying all of this stuff”
“It’s fun! Plus I’m right. You’ll see”, the red-haired girl said with a confident smirk. Jimin rolled her eyes at her friend, pretending as if the dramatic description didn’t make her feel butterflies in her stomach for a few seconds.
“Anyways… do you have a hunch of who it could be, miss fortune teller?”
Aeri held her chin with her hand, her index finger tapping on her cheek as she went through possibilities in her head. Then suddenly a smirk grew on her face. No longer the confident kind. The teasing kind. The menacing kind. The kind that Jimin knew meant trouble.
“How about Minjeong?”
Hearing her name felt like Aeri had just personally stabbed her in the chest with a lightning bolt. Jimin tried to play it cool though.
“What about her?”, she said with the most nonchalant tone she could put on.
“Minjeong. Your friend who you were extremely close with for 6 years and also who you had a crush on for two years?”
“Firstly, I know my memory is ass, but I don’t suffer from amnesia, alright? And secondly… why her?”
“Before I answer that, I just want to say that it’s very funny to me how you pretend to be nonchalant when I mentioned her, but I saw your face twitch in 15 different fonts within two seconds. Aaaand on top of that, your voice sounds crazily high-pitched right now.”
Jimin opened her mouth to argue but Aeri didn’t give her the time to speak.
“Why her? Well for starters, she pretty much looked at you like you hung the stars up in the sky. She kept mentioning you even when the topic was unrelated. Whenever she entered a room, the first person she would look for was you. Also, she was pretty comfortable with all of us, but with you it felt different. It was beyond just comfortable. There was this glow on her face that she didn’t have with the rest of us. You guys were basically giving soulmatism or something. And to be honest? I was just pretending to consider the possibilities. But the moment you told me about the letter, Minjeong was the first one I thought about. ”
“That doesn’t mean anything. It just meant that we were very close!”
Aeri tilted her head slightly. As if she was ready to drop an argument that Jimin could not fight against.
“And isn’t it weirdly coincidental that she disappeared not long after graduation? I mean, none of us knew why she did it. Up to this day. But if she wrote this letter… well, that would explain something, wouldn’t it?”
A new wave of guilt washed over Jimin’s body, a sense of dread settled in her stomach and creeped up to her chest as if in an attempt to suffocate her.
“It could still be a coincidence.”
Aeri raised an eyebrow.
“What makes you think that?”
“I don’t know. Maybe something personal happened and she didn't want to involve us. Or maybe she got tired of this life and wanted to start anew.”
Aeri got closer to the screen again. As if she was trying to read Jimin’s thoughts. Jimin leaned back slightly.
“Why don’t you want it to be her?”
“What… what do you mean?”
“Why don’t you want Minjeong to be the one who wrote the letter?”
Jimin sighed deeply and rubbed her forehead.
“Aeri. If I find out that my unrequited crush was mutual this whole time, that I missed out on an amazing childhood-friends-to-lovers plotline, and on top of that I hurt my closest friend so much that she felt the need to cut herself off from everybody without a single warning? Then I will jump off the nearest bridge.”
“Hm, I hear you, I hear you. But”, Aeri crossed her arms, “what if you happened to come across her again? And it turns out that she doesn’t hold any grudges? And you tell her the story and she laughs it off? And it still becomes something?”
“Pfff right, as if she would ever randomly appear out of thin air”, Jimin said mockingly.
“I mean, she is coming to the reunion after all.”
Jimin almost dropped her phone at that totally-not-expected bomb of a revelation. She definitely felt like the coughing baby right now.
“What? How?”, this time she did notice how high-pitched her own voice was.
“Well, Ryujin actually came across her at the park 2 days ago. They talked for a bit. Then she invited her to the reunion. And Minjeong said she would come. And since Ryujin and I are involved with the organisation of the reunion, we both got her number”, Aeri’s smirk grew bigger, “by the way, Ryujin said Minjeong looked so good that she stuttered the first time she spoke. And we all know how much of a confident flirt Ryujin is, right?”
Jimin didn’t know whether to blush at the thought of Minjeong looking even more gorgeous than she already was, or whether to feel extremely jealous at Ryujin having met her. The thought of Ryujin successfully flirting with her, made her eyes twitch a little (a lot).
“So, I guess you can ask her about it now”, Jimin really wanted to twist that smirk off of Aeri’s face. Her birthplace really had to be in hell.
“I will. I will… but I’m going to ask the others first. Just to be sure!”, Jimin nodded to herself, as if she believed her own words.
Aeri leaned back and crossed her arms, looking fully entertained by the situation.
“Right. Well, keep me updated about their answers. Are you going to ask them at the reunion?”
Jimin shook her head.
“No, I’ll just call or text. It’s easier, faster and less embarrassing. Hopefully.”
“Alright if you say so. But by the way…”, Aeri paused, as if she wanted Jimin to react.
“What?”
“I won’t give you Minjeong’s number. You will have to ask her in person at the reunion.”
For the second time during this call, Jimin almost dropped her phone.
“What? Why not?”
“Cause it would be wayyy too easy! And boring. For me. I want to be there to watch you crash out in front of her. Can’t let an opportunity like that get wasted now, can I?”
“Well, you won’t have that luxury because I am 100% sure someone else will confess that she wrote the letter! It won’t be Minjeong, I can feel it”, Jimin exclaimed.
“That’s just your denial talking, honey. Anyways, I have to hang up. Keep me updated. And I will see you at the reunion”, Aeri said, finishing off with a wink.
“Yeah yeah, whatever”, Jimin pouted as she hung up.
For a few minutes she sat on the floor processing all the information that had entered her brain in the past 30 minutes. The letter. The conversation with Aeri. The reunion.
Minjeong.
Minjeong who she would see at the reunion. After almost 6 years of no contact. Who used to be her closest friend. Her friend who she used to have a crush on. The one responsible for the agonising heartbreak that Jimin had gone through for many months. The one who might have written that letter.
The more Jimin processed the current situation, the more this all felt like she was in a car, driving off a cliff in slow-motion with impending and unavoidable doom at the end of the road.
Yeah, she was screwed.
The following three days were spent texting the other girls. Jimin never had been the type to drag out a conversation for too long when she wanted something out of it. Especially when it came to her friends. So for efficiency, she copy-pasted the same text and sent it to all of them (well almost all. Except for Minjeong of course, not that Jimin had a choice. May your pillow be warm every hot summer day Aeri).
A brief “ hey, i just moved out and while unpacking stuff i found this blue love letter. did you happen to write it? it was written one week before our hs graduation ”.
Which got her the following results:
Suspect #1 Yizhuo. Result: not the writer, definitely the devil. Aeri’s devil incarnated soulmate slash twin. She did not waste a second and immediately video-called Jimin. Which gave the latter PTSD from her call with Aeri the day before. As if they had planned this out, it pretty much felt like a deja-vu conversation. One where Yizhuo mercilessly teased Jimin and also betted on Minjeong being the writer despite Jimin’s protests.
Eventually Yizhuo turned it into a group video-call session by inviting Aeri to join. Getting ganged up on by the two of them was truly not for the weak. After the call had ended, Jimin could’ve sworn she had lost a piece of her soul. And her sanity. All-in-all, Yizhuo was no longer one of the suspects.
Suspect #2 Ryujin. Result: not the writer despite flirting like her life depends on it. Also got eliminated from the list of candidates, immediately answering with a simple ‘nope’. Of course, Ryujin wasn’t Ryujin without having to make a flirty joke about it along the lines of ‘ but i can be the author if u want me to ;) ’. Jimin threatened to end her life at the reunion.
Minjeong was never brought up during their conversation. Which Jimin thought was a bit unusual since Ryujin had been the one to invite her to the reunion. And especially considering how everybody had been in shambles when she had suddenly left the group chat without a word. Jimin decided not to bring it up though. Whether it was out of politeness or fear, she didn’t know.
Suspect #3 Yeji. Result: not the writer, but must protect at all costs. Being the hopeless romantic that she was, Yeji spammed Jimin with 5 ‘oh my gods’, tons of heart and face-melting emojis, and a dreamy “ I wish someone wrote me something romantic like this …”
Jimin was relieved that Yeji didn’t tease her over it or play the guessing game. Instead she was mostly gushing over how romantic it all sounded, like a plot from a movie, and that she hoped it would end with wedding bells. Very dramatic. Very romantic. Very Yeji-like. Jimin couldn’t deny that it did sound like a sweet rom-com. Safe for the very real possibility that the writer of that letter might hate her guts right now. But hey, anything could happen right?
Suspect #4 Yujin. Result: also not the writer, still suffers from terminal loserism (my twin). Something that Jimin only found out after Yujin video-called her not to talk but to firstly show off her skateboarding skills. Or the lack of, as Jimin watched Yujin fall not once, not twice, not thrice but four times on her ass, after attempting the new trick she had practiced for the past six days. Then Yujin told her about her plan to finally ask Wonyoung, the unattainable goddess of their highschool, out during the reunion. Jimin wished her good luck despite all the disaster scenarios that immediately got conjured in her head. Reunion was definitely going to be entertaining in one way or another.
Suspect #5: Chaewon. Result: unanswered, very chronically offline. Despite seeing Chaewon’s status informing Jimin that the last time she had been online was 3 days ago, she still sent the text. Maybe hoping that by some miracle, Chaewon would suddenly reappear and answer. But eventually 2 more days passed. Her status changed to ‘last time online: 5 days ago’. And reunion day had arrived. Which meant that Jimin had to ask her in person. And which also meant that she was still a possibility.
Suspect #6: Minjeong. Result: none. Vanished into thin air, supposedly making her grand comeback at the reunion. Jimin’s current status? Nervous breakdowns every 10 minutes.
After spending 30 minutes searching through her clothes as if she was a fashion designer with one last chance to make it in the world, Jimin finally found an outfit she felt confident enough in.
On any other day, Jimin knew she could wear a garbage bag and still make it somehow work. But today was not a regular day. After all, with reunions came this weird pressure to look like you got your entire life together. And on top of that, a certain someone was possibly showing up today after years. It was crucial for her to look good, no matter what.
Another 30 minutes were spent on getting waves into her long black hair, making sure the locks fell nicely over her shoulders and back. And then praying to every deity out there that her hair actually stayed that way the moment she stepped out of the house.
It was 5 in the evening and the sun was still shining brightly. The temperature was slightly lower than the other days but still pretty suffocatingly hot. Especially on the bus. Jimin rested her head against the window and tried to focus on the outside view, an attempt to ignore the turmoil in her stomach. She swore this stress was fatal.
The moment she got out of the bus, Jimin got hit with nostalgia. In front of her was the high school building that she had not seen since graduation day as her parents’ house was quite far.
There were a few people standing outside the building with cigarettes and drinks in their hands. Jimin vaguely remembered some faces, and others she could not recall at all. Above the door hung a banner that said “ Welcome back Class of 2019 .”
Just as she was about to step inside, she felt an arm wrap around her shoulders.
“Finallyyyy you’re here”, Aeri smirked, “took you forever.”
Jimin rolled her eyes.
“It only started 30 minutes ago you dramatic ass.”
And then, as if they had planned this, Jimin felt another arm wrap around her back.
“Well it is a bit disrespectful to not be exactly on time”, Ryujin added with a smirk of her own. Thinking of it, Ryujin definitely formed a triplet with Aeri and Yizhuo when it came to being diabolical.
“You guys really make me feel either suicidal or murderous”, Jimin muttered.
“Well since you’re so fashionably late, let us escort you, shall we?”, Aeri winked.
Before Jimin could protest, Ryujin kicked the door open as if she was a jock in a teenage rom-com, and Aeri pulled her inside the building.
The hallway was decorated with twinkling golden lights shining like they were showing the way to the auditorium. Despite the nostalgic and cosy feeling of the lights, the bass of the EDM song playing on the speakers made it feel like this was a night out.
That feeling became stronger when they stepped into the auditorium where the twinkling lights made room for neon signs and led lights. There was a DJ on the stage, a bar with drinks and all the seats were gone, turning the auditorium into something close to a club.
Yeah, this entire thing definitely had Aeri and Ryunjin’s fingerprints all over it. Jimin felt sorry for the poor teachers who were most likely forced into accepting this theme for the reunion.
Jimin’s gaze travelled over the crowd in front of her. It was already starting to get pretty full. Again there were familiar faces (but names forgotten), and unfamiliar ones (either people she had never shared class with or likely the plus-ones of fellow ‘19 graduates). Her eyes travelled over the many faces with a purpose. And of course, Aeri did not let this go by in silence.
“Minjeong is not here yet, if that’s what you’re wondering.”
“I was NOT wondering that”, Jimin immediately replied. Maybe a bit too quickly.
“No use in hiding it babe. Even these lights can’t hide the blush on your cheeks right now.”
Jimin elbowed Aeri in her side, finally freeing herself from the grip around her shoulders.
“Ouch, rude!”
“Told you she was disrespectful”, Ryujin shrugged.
“Please stop talking before I kill myself in front of you and forever change the trajectory of everybody’s lives in here”, Jimin said, almost begging for some peace.
But the universe was cruel and it seemed to want her to suffer for some reason. Perhaps the karmic effect of not having read that letter for more than half a decade.
“Well hello Ms. Heartbreaker!”,Yizhuo said with a high-pitched voice, pointing at Jimin with one hand, a drink in the other. Jimin rubbed her temple and forehead, feeling like she had just aged 20 years.
Yizhuo walked over, taking a small sip of her drink.
“You’re finally here!”
“It was literally only 30 minutes!”, Jimin once again uselessly protested.
“Every minute is a century when you’re left with a cliffhanger, Jimin”, Yizhuo clicked her tongue for dramatic effect and tilted her head slightly, “so, any updates? Did you find out who it was yet?”
“Well, there are still two people left to ask, so no. I just know it wasn’t you three, Yeji or Yujin.”
“The two people being Chaewon and Minjeong?”, Aeri asked to which Jimin nodded.
“Chaewon has been chronically offline for some reason. I texted her but she hasn’t looked at her phone in 5 days. Could not be me”, Jimin explained.
“Ah yeah, she lost it during a trip last week. She already bought a new one like 4 days ago though. Probably should’ve told you that”, Ryujin said.
“Is she already here?”, Jimin asked.
“She said she would be here around 18:00. Haven’t seen her enter yet though.”
“Well in my humble opinion, it’s already obvious who wrote the letter. But I will let you figure that out yourself”, Aeri said. Ryujin and Yizhuo nodded along. Jimin suddenly really wanted to stop existing.
Please god just send the flood, I’m ready.
“Oh my god, there you guys are! We have been looking everywhere for you!”
Jimin let out a breath of relief upon hearing Yeji’s voice. Sweet, dear Yeji who couldn’t hurt a fly.
Yeji walked up to them with a bright smile, her arm linked with Yujin’s who had still had the same eternally confused look on her face as years ago. Sometimes it really felt like there were no thoughts behind those eyes.
Yeji pulled Jimin into a tight hug.
“Oh thank god you’re here. Please save me”, Jimin said.
“Save you from what?”, Yeji raised her eyebrows in confusion.
“From these three demons”, Jimin deadpanned as she pointed at the other three behind her with her thumb.
“Hey, we weren’t doing anything wrong. We were just asking for an update on the author of the infamous love letter!”, Yizhuo pouted in fake innocence.
Yeji gasped and her eyes widened.
“Oh my god, did you already find out who it was?”
“No, I haven’t asked Chaewon or Minjeong about it yet”, Jimin replied, trying her best to say the latter’s name without visibly blushing.
“Hm, I really do wonder who it could be”, Yeji put her finger on her chin as if she was in thought.
“Minjeong”, Aeri said very matter-of-factly.
“Definitely Minjeong”, Yizhuo followed up.
“Forecast says there is a 100% chance of it being Minjeong”, Ryujin added.
“That does make sense when I think about it”, Yeji turned to Jimin, “you guys were practically inseparable. We didn’t call you Jiminjeong for no reason after all.”
“Of course we were close! She was the first friend I made back in middle school. We were best friends for 6 whole years!”, Jimin argued.
“During which you had a major crush on her for the last two years. Which everybody seemed to notice except for Minjeong cause people in love are always more dense, apparently”, Ryujin argued back.
“That argument doesn’t even make sense!”, Jimin groaned, “Yes, I had a crush on her but it doesn’t mean it was mutual!”
“Oh please, she totally looked at you like you were the love of her life”, Yizhuo said before taking another sip of her drink, “she definitely did not give the rest of us that same look, I can tell you that.”
“Yujin, you agree that it has to be Minjeong right?”, Aeri asked.
“Huh? What are we talking about again?”, Yujin blinked.
“Are you even in the room with us right now?”, Ryujin raised an eyebrow.
“Well duh, I’m literally standing here. I’m looking for Wonyoung though. Today is going to be a big day”, Yujin threw a thumbs up and walked away without a warning.
“Oh this is going to be good”, Yizhuo giggled before taking another sip.
All that ganging up on her, made Jimin feel like her head was spinning. She needed to step outside, away from this music and these bright lights. Like right now.
The rest, of course, followed her. Like the good old days.
The fresh air outside was more than welcoming. It was now a little bit past 18:00, the sun still bright, but there was now a bit of a cold breeze to balance out the hot temperature. Just enough for Jimin to feel the pressure in her head slowly fade away and to breathe properly.
For like less than one minute.
Because when a voice called out to her and she looked up, all the dizziness and the lack of air she had felt in the auditorium suddenly felt like a tiny bump on the road.
“Oh my god, hey guys! Look who I just came across on my way here!”, Chaewon waved excitedly before pointing at the person next to her. As if on cue, Jimin and Minjeong’s gazes met and a wave of emotions washed over Jimin’s body, ruthlessly and without a warning.
Her heart slammed against her chest, tripping over itself as if it wore untied shoes. Her blood rushed to her head, making her feel light-headed. It felt like she was back in her high school years, with the same feelings. With the same heart.
It was at this moment that Jimin realized she had never truly moved on. Her feelings had just fallen into a deep sleep for 6 years, but always ready to be woken up. And no one else but Minjeong could’ve done that.
It did explain why Jimin had never had another crush again after her. Even when someone did catch her attention for a moment, it had never felt the same. And now she knew exactly why.
Minjeong’s name was engraved in her heart.
Chaewon linked arms with Minjeong and pulled her towards the group. The distance between them got smaller. Jimin’s gaze followed her, but Minjeong’s shifted to the ground in front of her.
Ryujin wasn’t kidding when she said Minjeong looked gorgeous. Instead of her long black hair from back in high school, it was now mid-length and brown. She was wearing a light brown sleeveless crop top that perfectly accentuated her figure (Jimin was trying really hard to not visibly eye her up and down, because god knows her friends would never let her live it down) and dark green cargo pants. Jimin noted how she still wore the same dark brown buddhist beads bracelet that she had rarely taken off throughout all those school years.
“Can you guys believe we actually got the group back together after all this time?”, Yeji squealed.
“Thanks to Aeri and I. Especially me since I was the one who came across Minjeong”, Ryujin proudly puffed her chest.
“I can’t believe that we are finally seeing Minjeong again, in all her glory. It almost feels like I’m hallucinating”, Aeri laughed.
“I guess I took the walking into fog and mysteriously disappearing role a bit too seriously”, Minjeong chuckled while rubbing the back of her neck.
“Well, I hope you carefully thought about your decision to show up here. Cause I’m never going to let you walk away that easily again”, Yizhuo threatened while pointing at Minjeong with her cup as if it was a dangerous weapon.
“None of us will, isn’t that right Jimin?”, Ryujin said while poking Jimin in her back.
“Y-yeah, right”, Jimin stuttered.
Flood. Like. Right now.
This made Minjeong look her in the eyes again. Jimin couldn’t help but gulp. They were still those same dark brown eyes. Soft, gentle, deep, beautiful. The same ones that made Jimin understand why hopeless romantics loved to talk about the feeling of drowning in someone’s eyes.
It all felt so familiar. As if nothing had actually changed. Despite the time gap. Despite everything that had happened. At least, that’s what she thought at first.
“Now that the group is complete, you guys wanna go inside and get the party started?”, Ryujin wiggled her eyebrows.
“Where is Yujin though?”, Chaewon asked.
“On a noble quest to ask Wonyoung out. Something we absolutely can’t miss, so come on”, Aeri said, before turning and walking towards the door.
The rest of the group followed. Except for Jimin. As if her feet were glued to the floor.
She watched as Minjeong came even closer, and softly smiled at her. Jimin smiled back, while she dug her nails in the palms of her hands.
This was definitely not the right time for her brain to freeze. She had to say something. Anything.
“There are twinkling lights in the hallway. Pretty neat”, Jimin smiled awkwardly.
Oh my god. Is that really all I could come up with??
“Oh really? That’s nice”, Minjeong smiled back. Jimin could tell by the look in her eyes that Minjeong was waiting for something. Probably for a proper conversation. Or something more than just a sentence about some twinkling lights.
But Jimin didn’t know what to say. There were too many thoughts and too many feelings overwhelming her. So eventually, Minjeong continued walking, their arms almost brushing when she passed Jimin.
And then Jimin’s brain started working. Just barely. The letter. She still needed to ask about it. Now that they were all going inside, it was the perfect chance for her to ask Chaewon without anybody else around. Especially Minjeong.
“Uhm, Chaewon, can you stay here for a second? I need to ask you something”, Jimin said.
Both Chaewon and Minjeong stopped walking and turned around to look at Jimin. Chaewon with a look of confusion and curiosity. And with Minjeong there was confusion sprinkled with something that Jimin couldn’t place.
“Yeah sure, what’s up?”, Chaewon asked, walking back to Jimin.
Sensing that she shouldn’t be there, Minjeong eventually entered the school building. But not before taking one last look at Jimin.
Jimin could’ve sworn she saw Minjeong’s eyes get filled with a hint of sadness before she turned around. A wave of guilt washed over her. Jimin really did not like how guilty she had been feeling lately.
“I actually texted you about it like 2 days ago but I heard that you lost your phone.”
“Yeah, ugh. It was a good phone too. I’m always losing things, I truly drive myself crazy sometimes”, Chaewon rolled her eyes.
“So I recently moved out and-”
“Oh, congratulations! Finally some freedom”, Chaewon interrupted.
“Yeah, thanks. It’s nice”, Jimin replied curtly. She was growing more anxious for an answer with each passing second, “so anyways. I was unpacking the last few boxes and I came across this book that I had never read before. And-”
“Makes sense, you never really were much of a reader”, Chaewon interrupted her yet again. Jimin had to try her best to not start tweaking.
“Also true. But anyways. I saw this blue envelope sticking out from it. And inside there was obviously a letter. A love letter. Written during our graduation year. I had never seen it until today. And I really, desperately , need to know who wrote it. So I was wondering, if you did.”
Chaewon’s eyes grew bigger the longer she listened.
“Wow, you mean to tell me that you didn't read this letter for 6 years? That’s brutal.”
“Chaewon, could you please just answer the question before I explode from nerves?”
“No, I didn’t write it. Thank god, I think I would’ve killed myself if I did”, Chaewon whistled at the thought.
Jimin had to fight every fiber in her body to not impulsively run towards the road to let herself get hit by a car.
“Very heartwarming words to hear. Thanks for that”, Jimin said with a grimace.
“Did you ask the others?”
“Yep.”
“And they all said no?”
“Yep again.”
“Huh, who could it be then?”, Chaewon frowned.
“Well, actually I only haven’t asked one person yet.”
“Minjeong?”
“How did you know?”, Jimin’s eyes widened.
“Well, I mean she did randomly disappear years ago. And it seemed like today was the first time you guys spoke again. Well, if talking about twinkling lights could be considered speaking.”
“Chaewon, I’m seriously at my limit.”
“I’m just saying it makes sense that she's the only one you haven’t asked yet, that’s all!”, Jimin could see the gears turn in Chaewon’s head, “which means… oh my god, she wrote it? I mean she’s the only one left right? It has to be her!”
Chaewon tapped her chin with her finger.
“Actually, also not surprising. Back then I used to think she had a crush on you. Well that you guys had a crush on each other, but were obviously too dense to notice.”
“Yeah, I figured that out too, thanks again”, Jimin’s voice reached a new level of high-pitchedness that even she didn’t think was humanly possible.
There was absolutely no way she could ask Minjeong about this. Especially not when she couldn’t even get herself to talk to her normally just a few minutes ago.
Jimin absolutely needed to get her shit together before she screwed this up. Minjeong was finally back and somehow it felt like Jimin was accidentally burning all the bridges between them. Even though technically Minjeong had done that first.
For god’s sake, didn’t they used to be best friends? Even if it had been 6 years, it was still Minjeong. It was still her. Nothing had actually changed, right? Sure, there were some questions that had to be answered. But besides that, it was still them.
“Chaewon please slap me”, Jimin said, looking Chaewon right in the eyes.
“What on earth are you talking about?”
Jimin pointed at her cheek.
“Right there, please slap me.”
“Jimin, are you craz-”
“Please do it.”
“No way.”
“Chaewon, I’m being serious.”
“So am I? Why would I slap you? Did you bump your head?”
“Chaewon, I seriously need you to do this. I need the encouragement”
“I can-”
“Chaewon, for the love of god do it right now, my life depends on it and if you don-”
“Alright, fine!”, Chaewon yelled, slapping Jimin on her left cheek before she even finished her own sentence.
Jimin blinked.
Wow, she is stronger than she looks.
“Oh my god, I can see the imprint of my hand on your face”, Chaewon brought her hands up to her mouth out of shock.
“Okay, I actually think that worked. Let me go inside before I get possessed by the demon of stupidity again”, Jimin said before sprinting inside the building.
When she arrived at the auditorium, she was a bit out of breath. But it didn’t matter. All she had to do right now was find Minjeong and have a proper conversation with her. Not about the letter, but just something normal. Catch up. Get her best friend back.
While running, Jimin also decided she wasn’t going to ask her about the letter at all tonight. It would be too overwhelming. Instead, she had another plan for it. Which mostly involved them being alone without 0% chance of getting bothered.
Jimin spotted Minjeong at the bar standing next to Yeji. She watched how Minjeong tucked her hair behind her ear, how her eyes disappeared when she heard something very funny, how her laugh was more audible in Jimin’s ears than the music playing from the speakers.
Watching her from a distance brought back memories of when Minjeong made everything around her go quiet. The countless moments where Jimin would look at her and suddenly nobody else existed in this world except for the two of them. Minjeong was the only one who could make her feel that way. And apparently, this was still the case.
Jimin became even more determined to not lose her ever again. And she would make sure that Minjeong knew about it.
Thank you for the slap Chaewon. I owe you.
“Oh there she is”, Yeji exclaimed, waving excitedly. Minjeong turned around to look. Jimin felt her heart trip over itself the moment their gazes met. She had to put in extra effort to not start gay panicking on the spot again.
“Hey”, Jimin smiled, trying to ignore the gazes of the rest of the group who were observing the situation like researchers conducting a social experiment.
“Hey”, Minjeong smiled back. It was a soft but slightly reserved smile. Jimin wondered if she was nervous too.
“Sorry, about what happened just now. I completely froze when I saw you. It just has been so long, you know? My brain kinda short-circuited, so I made Chaewon slap me and now it’s finally working”, Jimin said.
Minjeong blinked.
“You made Chaewon slap you?”
“Yep! It was needed for me to function like a normal being, don’t worry about it!”, Jimin grinned.
That got a breathy laugh out of Minjeong.
“It does sound like something you would do”, she joked. Jimin felt warmth settle in her chest. Something about how Minjeong just knew her so well. After all these years, she still remembered.
“I really missed you, Minjeong. So, so much”, Jimin said. She didn’t mean to say those words with such a heartfelt and almost yearning tone. It was meant to be said casually, light-heartedly. But that slap not only made the gears in her brain work. It apparently also opened the gates of honesty.
Now Jimin had to make sure she didn’t let her tongue loosen up too much. There were certain things she wanted to leave unsaid until later, when it was the right time. Yet, this did feel right. It was too exhausting to pretend she didn’t care. It was not in her nature. She had always been expressive and free with her words.
That’s how Minjeong had known her to be too. All she wanted was for Minjeong to know that things were still the same. That she was still the same Yu Jimin from back in high school. Her best friend. The one she could always lean on. The stability in this chaotic world. Who would always be there for her even if things had gone astray for a bit.
Jimin was actually surprised that she didn’t feel resentful over Minjeong suddenly cutting off contact. Had she been angry back then? Yes. Heartbroken to the point of dysfunction? Yes. After all, it had been 6 long years. More than half a decade of not seeing her. And now? She was mostly curious. And confused. But there were no grudges. It honestly scared Jimin a bit how easily she forgave Minjeong, even without an explanation.Though she definitely still wanted one. But she also knew this was not the right moment for it yet.
“I missed you too… a lot”, Minjeong paused, as if she was carefully thinking about what words to choose.
Jimin noted how Minjeong’s fingers were tapping against the cup in her hand. Maybe she herself had been nervous, but Jimin didn’t doubt that Minjeong was probably twice as stressed as she was.
“I know it sounds hard to believe, but I really did”, Minjeong continued.
“Ït’s not hard to believe at all”, Jimin reassured.
“I’m really sorry, Jimin. I-”
Jimin held up her hand to stop her from talking.
“Let’s talk about this when we are alone, okay? Somewhere a bit more quiet where the music isn’t about to make our eardrums explode”, she chuckled.
Minjeong frowned with a worried expression on her face. As if she was wondering if it really was a good decision to postpone this conversation.
“Let’s just have a good time. We are finally complete after so many years, we got to celebrate that”, Jimin flashed a bare-toothed smile, before turning towards the bartender and ordering one cup of beer.
She was surprised at how well the words were flowing out of her mouth. Jimin once again internally thanked Chaewon for changing her brain’s chemistry.
That slap still didn’t fix her clumsiness though, as she raised her cup so high while drinking that some of the beer spilled over her chest. Along with swear words.
“Not on my favorite shirt…”, Jimin stretched her shirt to take a better look at the wet stain on it.
This finally got another giggle out of Minjeong, who hid her soft laughter behind her hand.
“Still as clumsy as ever. You really haven’t changed at all, Jimin”, despite the teasing words, Jimin could tell that there was a lot of affection behind them.
“Hey now, it got less bad! I even helped lay the floor and assemble the furniture in my new apartment. And it went well… mostly.”
Minjeong raised her eyebrows in surprise.
“You moved out?”
“Yeah, I found an apartment like 2 months ago. Finally started living in it like 2-3 days ago”, Jimin took a sip of her beer before continuing, “you should come check it out. It looks pretty neat. Maybe tomorrow?”
Minjeong seemed taken aback. Jimin knew it was sudden. Maybe too soon. After all, they had only reunited less than 20 minutes ago. But Jimin really wanted to spend time together, just the two of them, surrounded by walls of privacy. Besides, with the letter being back home, it seemed like the perfect location to talk about it.
Despite the initial surprise, Minjeong nodded.
“Yeah, sounds good. Tomorrow works.”
“You will be my first guest. Perfect isn’t it?”, Jimin grinned.
Before Minjeong could reply, Ryujin crashed their conversation, bursting the bubble that had unknowingly surrounded the two of them with a needle.
“Oh my god, the long-awaited Jiminjeong date. We are soooo back”, Ryujin said with a lopsided grin.
“Woah Jimin, she just got back and you’re already claiming her? How greedy”, Aeri joined in on the teasing as if on cue.
“Yeah, leave some Minjeong for the rest of us. We haven’t seen her in a long time too, you know?”, Yizhuo fake-whined.
And for the millionth time that evening, heat rose up to Jimin’s cheeks, setting her head on fire. Meanwhile Minjeong looked at the floor with a shy smile on her face.
“I’m seriously going to kill all of you.”
“Says the girl who once cried when she accidentally stepped on an ant”, Chaewon commented.
“Yeah sorry Jimin, but your threats will never sound scary”, Yeji smiled apologetically.
“Wow okay, nobody got my back. I see how it is”, Jimin dramatically sighed.
“It’s not about being against you. It’s about facing the truth”, Minjeong patted Jimin’s arm as if to comfort her, but the smile on her face betrayed that she was enjoying the teasing a little bit too much. And Jimin had to pretend like her touch didn’t almost make her combust right then and there.
Suddenly, through the music, a thud was heard followed by a loud ‘OUCH!’ that echoed through the auditorium. They all turned around like a group of meerkats to watch Yujin lie down on the floor, her skateboard slowly rolling away from her (when the hell did she bring that inside?), and Wonyoung bursting into laughter right in front of her.
Aeri, the queen of comedic timing, had already taken out her phone to film the scene while uttering the words ‘that was so perfectly disastrous that I could almost cry of pure joy.’
And Jimin briefly thanked every deity out there that she was at least not as big of a clumsy, gay disaster as Yujin was.
It was the day after the school reunion, Jimin kept pacing around the apartment, continuously checking her phone and the clock and the window, looking for signs of Minjeong’s presence.
After a night of drinking, dancing, talking to some other former classmates and teachers, and listening to some short speeches that she definitely had not focused on, they said their goodbyes. And promises were made to meet up with the 8 of them again, just like the old days.
Which resulted in a new group chat being made, and of course with that, it meant that Jimin could finally save Minjeong’s new number on her phone. As the group chat got flooded with messages, a sight that warmed Jimin’s heart and made her feel like things were going to be alright again, she decided to privately text Minjeong.
Their conversation had been nice but a bit on the short side. They made plans about the time they would meet up, what they would eat at her house, and talked a bit about how fun the reunion had been, eventually saying their goodbyes and wishing each other a good night's sleep.
Even though Jimin was happy that they were talking again, she did feel that there was still a wall between them. It wasn’t a big one, but it was there. And she really hoped that they would finally tear it down today. Even if it sounded somewhat unrealistic, Jimin wanted things to be like they were before. Or at least feel the way she felt before when they were together.
Despite their opposite personalities, Minjeong had always been the person Jimin felt most like herself with, throughout their 6 years of friendship. There was almost never a reason for Jimin to overthink around her, to pretend to be something she was not.
Around others, Jimin often felt the pressure to stay cheerful and bubbly, without showing her more vulnerable side. But with Minjeong it had always been so easy to open up. Likewise, Minjeong was the type to never talk about her inner feelings to anybody, even when she was suffering a lot. But Jimin had always been an exception to that rule. Things between them had always felt equally levelled.
Even when they bickered or argued, things always went back to the way they were. Without any grudges being held. Their relationship had always felt like the only solid, safe thing in this chaotic, cold world. And no matter how many bad things happened in her life, Jimin knew that as long as Minjeong was there, that everything would be alright. They were each other’s solace.
So when that sense of stability and support was suddenly gone, Jimin felt betrayed and crushed. The lack of explanation had made it 10 times worse. And now that Minjeong was back, and that Jimin had a vague idea of what might have happened all those years ago, all she wanted was for her to stay. And to have that safe feeling in her heart again.
Now, it wasn’t like Jimin couldn’t survive without her. She was still her own person. Despite the heartbreak, she had learned to live without Minjeong in her life, and without it having damaged her in an irreparable way. But the thought of losing her forever, and of losing something so rare and possibly never experiencing it again, was a very agonizing feeling to have.
That’s why Jimin had to try. Try until things actually got fixed or try until she could no longer avoid facing a painful truth. But she had to do this, just so she could live without regrets.
After another 30 minutes (which felt more like 30 years) of more pacing, looking at her phone and trying to distract herself with some Gardenscapes, she finally heard the doorbell being rang.
Without wasting one second, Jimin immediately walked to the door (or more like lowkey ran, almost tripping over nothing and falling flat on her face). She then inhaled and exhaled deeply, trying to calm herself down before turning the knob and opening the door.
Minjeong was standing on the other side. Her hand on the strap of her black backpack, a dark blue cap on her head, wearing an oversized white shirt, dark blue sweatpants and white sneakers. Jimin couldn’t help but smile at how her fashion style reminded her of high school Minjeong’s wardrobe. It was just so her .
Jimin stepped aside and gestured towards the living room with a slight bow.
“After you, milady.”
Minjeong rolled her eyes and lightly hit the taller girl’s arm. Jimin didn’t miss how the corners of Minjeong’s lips twitched as she tried to suppress a smile from forming.
“Don’t judge the house too hard, it’s still at the beginning stage. But it’s already looking better than before, trust me.”
Minjeong took off her shoes as her gaze travelled around. She then took off her cap and ran her fingers through her hair. Jimin felt her breath hitch at the sight (it felt almost illegal to be able to look at her for free.)
“I like it. It feels very you”, Minjeong said with a smile on her face, “I see you’re still as much into Shinchan, dinosaurs and sharks as before?”
It was hard to miss the shelf filled with figures and small plushies.
“But of course! I will never get tired of my babies”, Jimin said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Minjeong let out a soft chuckle.
“You’re such a dork”, there was no sharpness in her tone. Only fondness.
“Do you want something to drink? Soda? Water? Beer?”
“Water is fine for now, thanks.”
Jimin grabbed a glass and walked over to the kitchen counter.
“Okay so, I don’t have any couches yet. Which means sitting either on my bed or on the floor.”
“Both sound fine, I don’t really mind.”
“Well then let’s just sit on my bed. Less torture for my butt.”
Jimin handed her the glass after they sat down on the mattress, and Minjeong quietly thanked her before taking a sip.
Silence fell over them. The air was thick with unsaid words. It was strange how one moment they would be cracking jokes and interacting like they used to and then the next moment lose the ability to keep the conversation flowing.
Minjeong eventually fixated her gaze on the glass in her hands, actively avoiding Jimin’s eyes. It felt a bit painful to see Minjeong act so shy and awkward with her, as if they were strangers. As if she was just like anybody else.
But Jimin knew that she had to be the one to initiate the talk. So that’s what she did.
“So, do you still live with your parents, or did you move out too?”, she asked.
“I moved out about 1 year ago”, Minjeong’s fingers traced the rim of the glass, “but I actually had already moved out before, back in 2019.”
Jimin raised her eyebrows in surprise. She wondered if it was around the time that Minjeong had vanished into thin air.
“2019”, Jimin repeated slowly. Minjeong nodded.
“Yeah. Back then I was deciding between two universities. One here in Seoul and another in Busan. At first I was going to choose to stay in Seoul, mostly because things were familiar and I knew people here. But in the end it went for Busan.”
Jimin was sure that Minjeong had gone to Busan because she wanted to be far away from Seoul. And she had a feeling about what the reason was. Yet, she didn’t ask. Not yet. There was a certain order that she wanted to follow.
“You really moved far away. Sounds scary.”
Minjeong finally looked up at her.
“It was. It took some time to get used to all the new things there. New routine, new people, the environment. But after a few months, I managed to adjust well. And my classmates were nice, so that helped a lot.”
“That’s nice. I’m happy for you”, Jimin smiled. She did really mean it.
Minjeong looked away again and didn’t reply.
“So how long did you stay there?”
“Hm, 4 years. Until I graduated. And then I moved back to Seoul, lived one year with my parents, and then found an apartment. I moved out like one year ago.”
“So you’ve been back in Seoul for 2 years already”, Jimin had meant to ask this, but instead it came out as a statement. She couldn’t deny that it hurt a bit to think about how Minjeong had been back in the city for that long but had never reached out.
Jimin noticed how Minjeong’s shoulders tensed up and how the tapping on the glass started to speed up.
“Yeah.”
Silence filled the room again for what felt like a few hours (it was, in fact, only 30, max 40 seconds). This time it was Minjeong who broke it.
“So you officially moved out a few days ago right?”, Minjeong asked with a more cheerful tone. Their eyes met again. Jimin couldn’t read Minjeong’s gaze. All she knew is that it felt distant. Minjeong felt distant, closed-off. There were walls around her and they were starting to become higher.
“Yeah, finally. It was a whole mess”, Jimin sighed, “everything took so long. Especially the kitchen. So I was really happy when it was all done.”
“Very relatable”, Minjeong smiled.
“The only thing left was unpacking the last few boxes. There were tons of stuff in them like decorations and my figurines and books. So there was less of a rush.”
“Makes sense.”
Jimin knew this was the time. The time to finally ask the questions and start getting the long-awaited answers. Her heart was slamming against her chest and all she could do was try her best to ignore it and not let it control her brain like the day before.
“Actually, while unpacking I came across quite some stuff that I had totally forgotten about. I have such a terrible memory, it’s impressive.”
Minjeong chuckled softly.
“I remember how I was always the one reminding you of things.”
“I really would not have survived middle school and high school without you.”
Jimin shifted her position on the bed to face Minjeong fully before continuing. The latter was still looking at her.
“Anyways, amongst the stuff that I came across I saw something that I swore I had never seen before. Not a single memory of how I got it or from who.”
Minjeong frowned.
“What was it?”
Jimin bit her lip. She had planned to talk about it, using only her words. But now that the moment had arrived, Jimin realized that perhaps it was better to show it.
So she got off the bed wordlessly and walked towards the bookshelf next to the bedroom door. Jimin could feel Minjeong’s gaze follow her.
With a swift motion, she pulled out a white book. Holding it with both hands, Jimin walked over and sat back on the bed again. She turned the book around so that Minjeong could see it.
She didn’t miss how Minjeong’s jaw clenched, how her gaze changed from something cold and distant to visible shock and distress. How her grip around the glass became tighter.
“I saw this book that I didn’t recognise, that I had no single memory of. And then, I saw an envelope”, Jimin continued, opening the book on the last page and pulling out the now familiar blue paper, “it was still glued shut. Of course, my curious ass immediately opened it. And inside… was this letter that pretty much changed the trajectory of my life.”
Minjeong didn’t say a word. Instead her gaze kept going back and forth slowly, between the letter in Jimin’s hand and her eyes.
“You can imagine the shock that I felt when I found out that someone had written me a love confession 6 years ago. And that I didn’t know it existed until 3 days ago.”
Realization immediately flashed across Minjeong’s face and her gaze now contained a variety of emotions that Jimin was able to read a little. There was no longer just distance and coldness in them. The walls were starting to get cracks. Still, no words left her mouth, so Jimin continued.
“We all know just how nosy I can be. So of course, I couldn’t leave it at this. I had to find out who wrote it. And my only hints were that the person was a close friend and that we went to school together. So, I contacted every single person in our friend group and asked them before reunion day. Everyone except for Chaewon, and you. Chaewon because she had lost her phone, and you because… well, I didn’t have your number.”
Jimin’s fingers continuously traced the letter in her hands.
“So I asked Chaewon about it at the reunion. And like everybody else, she said she didn't write it. Which left you as the last possibility. And which is why I invited you today. I wanted to spend some time with you, and catch up. But, I also really wanted some answers.”
She made sure to hold Minjeong’s gaze as she formed the correct sentences in her head. Surprisingly, the latter didn’t look away like she had done before.
“Minjeong, were you the one who wrote this?”
Jimin honestly expected silence. It was a pretty loaded question after all. And a lot of information that she had just dumped. She understood that Minjeong might’ve needed some time to process it.
But her prediction was wrong.
“Yes, I wrote it”, Minjeong almost immediately answered, as if she had been breathlessly holding in those words.
Even though Jimin knew by now that it had to have been Minjeong, she still wasn’t prepared to hear the actual confirmation. She swore her heart was beating so fast that she was two beats away from going into cardiac arrest.
“Then that brings me to my second question. What is the reason you cut off all contact with me?”
This time Minjeong did take longer to reply. She blinked away the tears that were starting to accumulate in the corners of her eyes and put on a smile on her face. Jimin really wished she stopped holding herself back so much. She hated that Minjeong was still trying to keep her walls up. But she decided not to comment on it and let her speak first.
“Hmm, well I was a bit of a dramatic and heartbroken 17 year old. And dramatic and heartbroken 17 year old me was a bit impulsive and more emotional than she thought”, Minjeong looked back at the glass in her hands, avoiding Jimin’s gaze.
“You stopped talking to me because I didn’t give you an answer?”
“It really sounds even worse when you say it out loud like that”, Minjeong chuckled. Jimin could tell it was forced.
“Minjeong, I’m not asking it in a judgemental or resentful way. I really just want to know what happened. It was a really confusing era for me and it is something that has stuck with me for a long time. I just want to know everything.”
Their gazes met again and suddenly, Jimin could no longer see any emotional barriers inside Minjeong’s eyes. What she saw instead was vulnerability mixed with sadness and regret.
“Back then I thought you didn’t care. Or that you were pretending not to care. I wouldn’t have minded if you had rejected me. As long as you were honest and open about it. But, back then, when you didn’t say anything about it at all. I don’t know. I thought you were putting up walls. In my head, our dynamic had changed and I was so scared and frustrated.”
Minjeong sighed.
“It was so, so stupid. Instead of saying something, instead of talking to you about it, I just kept quietly waiting and waiting. And then made the stupid decision to just distance myself from you and everybody else.”
Jimin listened carefully, deciding to not reply until Minjeong had gotten everything off her chest.
“I really don’t know why I acted that way. It felt so unlike me, you know? I was always so honest to you. Whenever something bothered me, I immediately told you. And you always did the same. That was one of the reasons things worked so well between us. And I completely screwed it up. I realized that when I was in Busan pretty quickly. I thought of contacting you so many times. Every day. But…”
The tapping on the glass started again. Jimin suddenly felt the urge to hold her hands and to comfort her.
“I thought it was too late. I kept thinking you hated me and that you would never want to talk to me again. And I would’ve understood, if that was the case. But I was scared of facing that possibility. So I never did it. And the more time passed, the more it felt useless to try. I was such a coward.”
Minjeong’s eyes became glassy and her jaw clenched slightly as she took a deep breath before continuing.
“And then after all that time, I suddenly came across Ryujin. It felt so weird. She talked to me like nothing had happened. Like I hadn’t done anything wrong. I was so surprised when she casually invited me to the reunion. I thought back then that it was my chance to fix things. Especially with you. Or at the very least apologize. Even though I was still scared that you would hate me. But, I didn’t want to run anymore. And you deserved an actual apology from me.”
A tear escaped her eye. It felt like a stab to Jimin’s heart to see her like this.
“I really thought about you every day. I missed you so much. There hasn’t been a day when I didn’t live with regret. And, I’m so, so sorry for what I’ve done. I was a terrible friend and I know I’ve broken things between us. I understand if you can’t forgive me. I understand if you don’t want to see me again after today. I understand if you hate me. But I really just want to let you know that you didn’t deserve any of this. That you deserved better. I’m really truly sorry, Jimin.”
Minjeong wiped off the tear with her hand, but more started to silently stream down her cheeks.
“Shit, sorry. I didn’t want to cry. Please don’t feel bad for me and don’t let it influence you.”
Before she could stop herself, Jimin leaned forward and traced her thumb over Minjeong’s cheek. Wiping off some of the tears on it.
She heard a soft gasp leave Minjeong’s mouth.
“I could never hate you”, Jimin said, her tone gentle and genuine.
Minjeong’s eyes widened, as if it was the last thing she expected to hear.
“But… how? I hurt you so much…”
Jimin leaned back, pulling her hand back from Minjeong’s face and placing it on her own leg. Bracing herself to really lay everything out in the open.
“Because it’s you”, she held the fabric of her sweatpants between her fingers, an attempt to give herself strength to continue, “trust me, I tried. There were days when I really wished I could hate you. Just so that I could move on more quickly. And I’m not going to lie. You really hurt me back then. No matter from what angle I looked at it, I just couldn’t understand why things had ended up that way. To me, our friendship was supposed to be something solid. Things around me had always felt so chaotic, and what we had was one of the only things that felt constant and safe. We were always so honest and open. You really were the only person who I truly felt like myself around. And then suddenly, you left. Just like that. I felt so betrayed.”
Despite all these words, Minjeong never broke eye contact. Jimin could tell she really was trying to carefully listen to everything she had to say. To show her that she cared.
“But you know what the scariest thing was? How quickly I forgave you. No matter how hurt I was, I knew in my heart that I had already forgiven you. Was it stupid? Maybe. Most people would probably say yes. But I guess I just couldn’t help it. I still can’t help it. Because it’s you.”
Jimin leaned forward again, and put her hand over Minjeong’s.
“What I’m trying to say is that I accept your apology. That I don’t feel resentful, that I’m not holding any grudges. And that I never hated you. In fact, when I heard you were coming to the reunion, I was determined to fix this. All I wanted was for us to be us again. Just like before. A Jiminjeong revival.”
That got a soft chuckle out of Minjeong.
“Wow, now that’s a name I haven’t heard in a while”, she smiled.
“Aeri really had a big-brained moment with that one. Our names really fit well together. Just like we do.”
Jimin let go of Minjeong’s hand to grab the letter next to her, carefully turning it around in her hands and looking at the content with a smile.
“You know what the funniest thing is about this entire misunderstanding?”
Minjeong tilted her head slightly, looking at Jimin with curious eyes. It made the latter’s heart do somersaults. It was time for the final piece of truth.
“I felt the same way about you back then.”
Those words hung in the air for a few seconds. And then realization flashed across Minjeong’s face once again.
“No way…”
Jimin nodded with pressed lips.
“Yup. I started having a crush on you somewhere in 2017. It was really sudden. One day I just looked at you and it hit me. Pretty hard. Everybody in the group knew about it. Or suspected it. And apparently they all knew you liked me too. I guess we also match each other in being equally dense, huh?”
“Wow, okay, alright”, Minjeong pointed towards the window with her thumb, “give me a second while I jump down to my death.”
“No way Kim Minjeong. I’m not letting you get off that easily”, Jimin smirked, “ and you want to know something even funnier?”
Minjeong bit her lip.
“I’m a little scared but curiosity wins. Fire away.”
Jimin leaned slightly forward again, her smirk changing into a wide grin.
“When I saw you again at the reunion I kinda realized that I still felt the same way about you. Crazy right? Still having feelings for someone after 8 years while not having seen them for 6. I guess it was a bit deeper than I thought.”
After hearing those words, tears started to form in Minjeong’s eyes again. But this time she kept smiling as she spoke.
“Well, that is a bit crazy. But not as crazy as still having feelings for someone after 11 years”, Minjeong shrugged with a slight pout on her face, “I win.”
That confession made Jimin’s heart trip over itself, followed by warmth filling her chest. She was one of those people who smiled easily and quite a lot. But no smile could ever compare to the one she was wearing on her face right at that moment.
“Wow, since when did this become a competition, Kim Minjeong?”, Jimin raised her eyebrow, pretending to feel offended.
“Hey, I’m just telling the truth, nothing more!”
Jimin let out a breathy laugh.
“We really took ‘give it some time’ way too seriously, huh?”
“Yeah, definitely too seriously”, Minjeong softly laughed.
Jimin looked at her. Really looked. Took in every single detail. How the golden hour sunlight shone through the window, gently caressing Minjeong’s slightly messy brown hair and the right side of her face. The puffiness around her eyes. Her teary and yet tender and almost peaceful gaze. The mole on her lower eyelid. The other mole on her cheek. The soft smile on her lips. The way her oversized shirt hung loosely around her neck, exposing her collarbones and a sliver of her shoulder. How her hands cupped the glass, her fingers now resting on top of it, rather than tapping away at the material. The absence of a wall between them.
The entire scenery felt so unbelievably comforting, safe, serene. Familiar. And Minjeong looked so beautiful. And so like herself. It really was still her. After all those years. It would always be her.
Jimin felt it in her heart. She loved her. She was utterly and deeply in love with Minjeong. There was no question about it. And she was more than ready to show it.
“Then…”, Jimin paused, reaching out to grab the glass out of Minjeong’s hands. The latter looked at her with confusion painted on her face, but she let Jimin take it away from her without any protest.
Jimin put the glass down on the small nightstand next to her bed, and turned to fully face Minjeong again. She got off the bed slightly and shifted closer to Minjeong until their legs and arms were touching each other.
They were so close that Jimin could hear Minjeong’s breathing. And then without any warning, she wrapped her arms around the brown-haired girl and pulled her into a tight hug, a hug that she poured all her heart into, one that screamed “you don’t have to worry anymore, I’m here now.”
“Then let’s stop wasting time”, Jimin said.
Minjeong instinctively reacted, putting her arms around Jimin’s shoulders and burying her face in the crook of her neck. Jimin felt herself melt under her touch.
“I can get behind that”, Minjeong whispered, her breath softly tickling against Jimin’s ear. It sent shivers down the latter’s spine.
Jimin slightly loosened her grip, Minjeong followed the movement. Their gazes met, arms still wrapped around each other, faces only a few inches apart.
“So does this mean that we are finally a couple? Can I tell people that you’re my girlfriend now? Just asking to be sure. You know, to avoid any more silly misunderstandings”, Jimin said with a lopsided grin.
Minjeong let out another breathy laugh and rested her forehead against Jimin’s.
“Yes, please. I’ve had enough of this slowburn.”
And with that, Jimin tilted her head slightly and kissed her on the lips. It was a long and soft kiss. And when Minjeong let out a low, longing sigh, Jimin felt dizzy. This was definitely so much better than all the times they had kissed in her countless daydreams.
When their lips parted, Jimin let out a sigh of her own.
“Wow.”
Minjeong laughed softly. Jimin wished she could download that sound, put it on a microchip, plant it in her brain and loop it until she died.
“Yeah, you could say that again…”
“Wow”, Jimin repeated, earning a soft hit on her arm from Minjeong, “hey I’m only following your instructions!”
“You’re really such a dork.”
“Well, it was obviously charming considering that you fell for me”, Jimin wiggled her eyebrows.
“Yeah, it was horribly irresistible”, Minjeong said as she rolled her eyes.
Jimin raised her hand and tucked a strand of hair behind Minjeong’s ear. She then pressed a soft and short kiss on her nose.
“I love you so much, Kim Minjeong”, she said, her voice just above a whisper as she cupped Minjeong’s cheek, gently tracing it with her thumb.
“I love you too. An incredible amount.”
Jimin’s smile turned into a wide grin.
“You could say that again.”
Minjeong softly stroked the back of Jimin’s head and pulled her in for another kiss. One that was even longer, slower and filled with so much yearning that Jimin could’ve sworn she was on the brink of passing out. But not before Minjeong whispered breathy words against Jimin’s lips.
“I love you, Yu Jimin.”