Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The day was fine, the sun was shining,
everything was rad.
But Luna Lovegood, high above,
once more proved she was mad.

"My dear Albus Percival,"
she said, "Wulfric Brian,
let's have a walk for tea and talk,
for we had lately none."

She waved her wand and broke the bond
that tied him to the wall
and moved the frame without shame
downstairs and through the hall.

Once outside, they didn't hide
from whispers of surprise,
but Luna thought that students got
infected Wrackspurts-wise.

To Hogsmeade they made their way,
to Lavender's Tea Room.
A pleasure was to meet the host,
old-aged but still in bloom.

Then Lav herself got from the shelf
foul-tasting Gurdyroot
and joined the two in chatting through
events big and minute.

"I got a word, and quite absurd,
that Sev and Auri reached
a group of Snorkacks in the snow."
"Well better that than teach."

"Longbottom Ollie, come this fall,
will get a Healer's post."
"Then Pans and Nev will get at Sev —
his bet is surely lost."

"My darling Blaise was quite amazed
to learn that at their age
the Malfoys got divorced, and Potter
is somehow engaged."

But all shall pass, and so at last
they bid their warm goodbyes
and went around the Hogsmeade grounds,
for weather was still nice.

Across the hedge at village's edge
a lady in a wreath
was standing still, she spoke with chill
and smiled with scary teeth.

"A lovely meet! Please, come with me
to dance with people fair."
"Oh, with delight — just for the night!"
(What was there to beware?)

The Lady of the Gloomy Wreath
led them towards the hills,
inside they went, and as they entered,
both exclaimed in thrills —

"My dear Luna, take a look —
I'm portrait no more!"
"My dear Albus Percival
Wulfric Brian Dumbledore!

Let's dance and dance and dance and dance!"
And so they danced and danced,
and in their bliss they even kissed
while they still had a chance.

But all shall pass, and so at last
the night gave way to dawn.
They left the hills in morning chills
and walked to grounds known.

At Hogwarts gates they met their mates —
Professor Bones-Greengrass
and Madam Robins, in their robes
for showing off their arse.

"Oh Merlin's beard! It's very weird —
Headmistress Lovegood, back?"
Demelza cried, and they replied
that it was her in fact.

"But you were gone for ten and one —
eleven years, no less!"
Cried Susan who a decade through
was dealing with the mess.

"Oh," Luna mused, "that’s why you, Suze,
have such a wrinkled face."
And they agreed that being a lead
of school is quite a case.

That was indeed a long retreat,
but it had come to end,
and Luna took her post forsook,
and on the wall, on crooked hook,
she placed her painted friend.

Chapter Text

The mystery of the Umgubular Slashkilter puzzles me to this day.
Oh, let me recount the story of how I first came across the term.
I was at Three Broomsticks on Valentine's weekend — alone, which is odd, you might say,
but I have been known — or so I hope — for boldly defying the norm.

I sat in the corner with my butterbeer when something caught my gaze:
none other than Savior of Magical Britain was having a chat with three girls.
One had bushy hair and an air of smugness, another one looked pretty dazed,
the third was the oldest with two-inch red talons, winged glasses and messy blonde curls.

They talked of an article soon to be published — weirdly, the magazine
was one to be known for conspiracy nonsense (but I'm not the one to judge).
The woman — a journalist, seemingly — left with a look of abhorrence and spleen;
the smug one was giggling; the big-eyed was telling the story of Minister Fudge.

And that's when I heard "the Umgubular Slashkilter" — 't sure took me aback.
Not Crumple-Horned Snorkacks, not Frugglewumps even had such an effect on me.
It puzzled, befuddled, intrigued, mystified me and gave me a panic attack,
emotions and thoughts intertwined as I struggled to fathom what that was to mean.

A couple of minutes, and then I recovered, but I was not the same.
In trembling, I glanced at the trio: they still were chatting over their drinks.
I tasted my own but choked on it when once again they pronounced the name —
oh, my poor mind! the Umgubular Slashkilter stupefied me like a jinx.

Eternity later, I came to my senses — only to find, alas,
that Boy-Who-Survived and his friends disappeared; I was alone in dismay.
And ever since then I'm unable to sleep, my sanity shattered like glass.
The mystery of the Umgubular Slashkilter weighs on my mind till doomsday.

Chapter Text

Spring barely there, you turn sixteen.
I watch you from the beyond.
Mittens of beige cashmere hanging between
two worlds, forming a bond.

You wish on this day you could stay underground
but the duty of friendship calls.
Entrance — crowdedness — you're drowned —
face in hands — darkness falls.

My son, let me caress you and console,
for what you're about to see, pains my soul.

Darkness fades — greyness stays — "dark aura",
that's what you have, says your friend.
Step by step, you're nearing the horror —
will you be strong in the end?

Muddy roads, earthly smell, wooden smoke,
idle chatting along the way.
A bright thing in the sea of grey —
golden hair, silver-fuzzed pink cloak —

eyes so sparkly — you freeze in your tracks.
Tugged away, you still search for the gleam —
but she's gone — was it a dream?

Still air ripped by cracks.

Silver masks, black robes — screaming, running —
you're hiding behind a wall.
Were you able to see it coming?
Purple spell,
golden hair,
fall.

You rush out to her — no, no, no!
Choking sound, desperate lips —
she is gone.
You saw her go.
Face in hands — darkness hits.

My son, let me caress you and console,
for what has been broken, now remains whole.

Darkness fades — greyness stays — "dark aura",
that's what you have, says your friend.
You have now lived through the horror —
will you make it right in the end?

Mud, smoke, chatting — same words — and there —
gold, pink — it can't be — but it's her.
She speaks — it's all in a blur —
Wrackspurts, Snorkacks — but all you care —

she's alive.
You hold her hand tight.
I watch you from the above.
You made it. She'll be alright.
You will be alright, my love.