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James had kissed him. After the stupid fucking Sideman video of all things. Will was amped from not losing and childishly happy to be doing so with his best mate. He had insisted on James staying the night so he could continue to feel childishly elated.
They were watching a film and cuddling like mates do sometimes and Will was feeling content and happy which was a feeling that so rarely took him over when he was alone. Then James kissed him.
He’d said his name softly.
“Will.”
And Will had turned and he looked at James and he saw him lean in and he didn’t want to pull away because this was James and Will could match whatever game James was playing at and it had been such a lovely day. His serotonin levels had been soring and okay fine James was going to kiss him.
Then James did kiss him and it was gentle and caring. Will hadn’t been kissed like that in years. He’d been kissed and he had been fucking, he’d been kissed with desire and with lust, with the taste of alcohol on his lips and theirs. No one ever kissed him softly anymore and this was a good kiss.
James' lips were soft and his stubble tickled Will’s face. Then James shifted and reached for Will and Will moaned as James rubbed his thumb on the spot below Will’s ear.
Will shoved him off not aggressively but assertively and instead of any of the millions of thought he was having he said, “the fuck you playing at mate?”
James said nothing which was crazy to Will because the tosser usually never shut the fuck up. They both turned their eyes back to the film and neither of them said anything else until it was finished.
Instead of asking James if he wanted to sleep in the bed with him, which would’ve probably been more comfortable, Will put a pillow and a blanket on the couch and said goodnight after the movie.
In the morning they went for coffee and Will took James to the train station and they didn’t talk about it and they haven’t talked about it and now James was being weird.
Which Will knows in his heart if not his head is probably his fault but he does not want to talk about it which is why he’s overcorrecting so much because now James won’t look at him the way he used to and Will has begun to miss that almost desperately.
Will is making jokes along the lines of “Let me bend you over the table” and “Why are you always running away from my kisses?” and “damn man you looking pretty damn.”
James responds upset every time but he does respond which is sort of all Will is asking for right now. Attention. James’s acknowledgement.
Everyone is getting fed up with this bullshit. The team used to look forward to James coming down to make videos. Will was always in a better mood when James was there and James was usually a riot to be around.
Everything is stilted now. Orla makes sure the coffees are ready to go and kept cold until shooting starts hoping that’ll be enough to tame Will’s temper. Mikey takes Will and Ieuan takes James, keeping them both entertained separately until everyhting is ready to roll.
They’ve been receiving crazy comments on the videos as well. All about how downbad Will is acting which only serves to piss James off more. With James more pissed off Will works harder and harder to compensate and the cycle just continues.
Orla gets fed up with it first.
“Could you please just pretend to be fucking normal so we get one good video!” She finally breaks on set when it's apparent that James is only looking at the camera and Will is only looking at James.
Orla has been doing production for Will since the e-boys had their own channel. She has a soft spot for these men and she’s tired of feeling uncomfortable at work.
“Don’t look at me like that,” she snaps at the pair of them. “You’ve been making these videos fucking impossible to edit!”
“Orla crashout,” James mumbles under his breath, he can’t resist making a joke.
“I’m going for a coffee. Take lunch don’t take lunch I don’t care-film it without me,” and with that farewell Orla stomps away.
They film it without her.
She comes back an hour later and mutters at her desk until the shoot is finsihed.
“James come round to mine now that we’re finished shooting yeah?” Will asks quickly so the words come out Jamescomeroundominenowefinshedshooing.
“I don’t know that I want to, Will.” James answers without looking him in the eye.
“Lad,” Will starts and places a hand on James’s bicep.
James moves away from the casual intimacy but turns his head to finally face the man before him.
“I miss you lad I really want you to come over,” Will says genuinely.
“My train leaves in two hours.”
“My flat’s only fifteen minutes from the train station.”
“I want Nandos.”
“I’ll order it to my flat right now.”
“Fine, just for a bit.”
James finishes shoving his tat into his leather satchel. He follows Will out of the office and manhandles his phone away from him in order to order the Nandos he’s craving.
Will talks constantly on the way back throwing out joke after joke trying his best to make the other man smile.
James cracks halfway to Will’s flat. He turns away as he smiles at the story Will has been telling for the last three blocks. Will sees it anyway.
The Nandos beats them to the flat by a few minutes and Will scoops it up before unlocking the door, happy to have something to do with his hands now that their back. Walking was easier. The fast pace kept them from being able to talk too much, though Will did his best, and most importantly eyes forward no eye contact.
Will escapes to the kitchen to get plates and cutlery. James follows him. Will wanted to talk, that's why James is here and now he’s moving the forks around in his cutlery drawer trying to extend the amount of time before he has to look up and say something.
“Are we going to talk?” James asks quietly.
“About what?” Will is still facing the forks.
“I will leave if you don’t look up and talk to me Will,” James says with finality.
Will begins to imagine what his life would look like without James. This is something he has yet to consider. Despite how uncomfortable the last few weeks have been he’s never considered the possibility that this may be the end for them.
“Why’d you kiss me?” Will asks. He puts the chosen forks down on the counter next to the scran and forces himself to look at James.
James’s arms are crossed in front of his chest and he’s looking at Will with his chin down as if he could tuck all 6’4 of himself in and hide from this.
“Isn’t it obvious?”
“If we’re gonna talk we’re both going to have to talk,” Will wants to reach out for his friend. He does a lot to make James happy–always has. It’s hard to stand on his side of the kitchen and watch James be uncomfortable.
“We were having such a nice day-” James starts. His eyes have been hovering just to the left of Will but he looks directly at him for confirmation.
Will nods, “It was a great day, yeah. I love winning.” he pauses there but before James can continue he adds, “I always have a great day with you mate.”
“Me too,” He breathes deeply before continuing. “I’m sorry. I kissed you because I wanted to and I wanted to think that maybe you wanted to as well.”
“Well don’t be sorry yeah,” Will answers quickly.
“I don't know what you want me to be,” James shifts. He stands up bringing himself to his full height. “I’m sorry I kissed you, I don't want to make you uncomfortable but you know how I feel. You could have just said you’re not interested in me. I mean come on man, why didn’t you say anything? I don’t even feel like we’re friends right now. I hate this feeling.”
“I don’t like it either, James. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything and I don’t know how to fix this now but you didn’t tell me anything either-not actually.” Will steps forward. “I didn’t know you were gonna kiss me and I don’t know how you fel about any of it because you haven’t told me”
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop being fucking sorry man. I liked it.”
“You.” James pauses now. They’ve been working each other up but James loses his bravado as he speaks again, “liked it?”
“What do you want, man?” Will asks. “Yes, I liked it. I have been up at night thinking about the way you kissed me, alright? And I miss you.”
James doesnt say anything for a long time. Will worries he’s said too much– maybe he’s misread this all.
“You mean it?”
“Yes you knobhead!”
“I want to kiss you again.”
“Then fucking do it mate.”
James crosses the kitchen in two steps and wraps Will up in his arms. He pauses. “You’re sure?”
“Stop fucking asking,” Will kisses him then, tired of waiting he goes up on his tippy toes to connect their mouths and wraps his arms around James’s neck so he can’t escape.
This kiss is more desperate than their first one. Will is smashing their lips together and holding on tight. The last few weeks have drained him. There’s no playing it safe now. He wants James. He wants him here. All his best days are spent with this man and he needs to know that.
“Stay,” that’s the only words out of Will’s mouth when they separate.
“Tonight?”
“Forever but yeah, tonight.”
“I’ll have to text someone to feed my cat,” James answers practically.
Will giggles, though he’d deny that description, and his grip tightens in James’s t-shirt.
He kisses James just pressing their mouths together again before speaking, “do that then.”
James shoots a text to a friend and, once he’s sure Otto is being taken care of, he turns his full attention to the man in front of him.