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Published:
2025-05-25
Updated:
2025-07-22
Words:
693
Chapters:
3/?
Comments:
17
Kudos:
19
Bookmarks:
2
Hits:
306

If The Presidents Had Twitter

Summary:

Basically what the title says. (Some non-presidents may appear.)

Notes:

I would like to thank the r/presidents subreddit for giving me this idea. Enjoy!

Chapter 1: I

Chapter Text

Andrew Jackson ☑️  @oldhickoryhick

The CORRUPT “Democratic”-Republicans SHAMELESSLY STOLE the election from me! Just as bad as King George, I say- which is why I'm splitting off from them to form the DEMOCRATIC PARTY, a party for REAL DEMOCRACY and REAL AMERICAN VALUES, unlike HORRID Henry Clay and… (Read More)

Comments 3.4k  Retweets 11k  Likes 93k

Richard Nixon 🇺🇸 ☑️  @rmnixon 

I have nothing against the Jewish people. A great many of my closest advisors & personal friends are Jewish. It is, however, very interesting that so many of the prosecutors of the Watergate case, and a disproportionate amount of the promoters of the slanderous lies against me... (Read More)

Comments 110  Retweets 475  Likes 1.9k

Lyndon  @ allthewaylbj

ok since you guys asked nicely here's jumbo

Content warning: Sensitive content

The author flagged this post as showing sensitive content.

Comments 54  Retweets 76  Likes 3.9k

Theodore Roosevelt🧸  @teddyroosevelt

Got an amazing trophy in the Namibian safari last week.

Photo attached

Comments 43  Retweets 133  Likes 2.8k

billy boy🍻  @willieclint

Addressing the recent allegations:

Twitlonger

My response

Comments 221  Retweets 763  Likes 1.7k

 

Chapter 2

Summary:

I wasn't expecting anyone to like this, but one justsomedumbhistorybuff was nice enough to comment their support for this, and so I have decided to release some more of these! Thanks for your support, guys ♥️

Chapter Text

Silence Dogood🌱🌹@SilenceDogood

The attacks on @BFranklin are SHAMEFUL. I beg with you to stand up against HATEFUL REDCOAT SLANDER against an honorable founding father and AMERICAN PATRIOT.

Comments  9   Retweets  24   Likes  109

William Henry Harrison ☑️ @whharrison

I think I might be coming down with something. Probably just a cold. Send positive vibes y’all.

Comments  24   Retweets  19   Likes 248

tom jeff @thomasjeff

ratio old man

     John Adams ☑️ @johnadams

     I condemn the attacks against me by @thomasjeff. I have reached out in hopes he will        stop.

Comments  36   Retweets  45   Likes  675

Al 🔒@albertgpriv

can’t believe i EVER associated with that piece of shit b***... hated that bitch for YEARS but now i’m FREEEE

John F. Kennedy ☑️ @jfkennedy

Replying to @ameliahonkers69

If you need something big and girthy to bounce on I'm in Boston rn sans wife. 😉

Comments  251   Retweets  641   Likes  1.2k

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John F. Kennedy ☑️ @jfkennedy

SHIT SHIT WRONG ACCOUSNT FUCK

Comments  176   Retweets  423   Likes  987

alex ham @aham_sandwich

aaron burr is the actual fucking worst like i’m actually rooting for JEFFERSON with my WHOLE HEART😭

Comments  27   Retweets  143   Likes  1.2k

|

ab @ab255776

DMs, now. I would make haste if I were you.

Comments  2   Retweets  5   Likes  76

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alex ham @aham_sandwich

YOU AIN'T SCARY DAWG😭😭😭 GOOFY AAH MF

Comments  1   Retweets  4   Likes  64

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alex ham @aham_sandwich

Shit.

Comments  0   Retweets  6   Likes  91

John C 🔒 @jcc8217

Jackson found my account again. Fuck. 

Comments  2   Retweets   Likes 22

 

Chapter 3

Notes:

HOLY SHIT guys I am SO SO SORRY for not updating for a month, the inspiration for writing comes and goes for me but I hope I can bay you guys over with this little update for a while, pls forgive me and (hopefully) enjoy this chapter!

Chapter Text

Lyndon @allthewaylbj

RT if you think Beto deserved better

Comments  23   Retweets  123   Likes  1.9k

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bobby ✝️🟦 @bobbyken

isn’t this the guy who posted a picture of his FULL DICK on here 😭

Comments  45   Retweets  98   Likes  1.2k

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Lyndon @allthewaylbj

At least I have proof that Jumbo is as big as I claim he is. Unlike your brother John who thirst posts on main about onlyfans models bouncing on his “big and girthy” manhood even though we all know he’s 4 inches full mast.

Comments  76   Retweets  121   Likes  1.7k

| Read thread

Harry 🌹🧦🧢 @harrytrumanshow

Reasons to vote Democratic, a 🧵(1/36)

Comments  103   Retweets  432   Likes  2.1k

Andrew Jackson ☑️ @oldhickoryhick

Folks, the DEEP STATE tried to get me, but they couldn’t! After 7 days of being CENSORED by the LAMESTREAM ELITES who run Twitter I have finally been unbanned. A shameful world we live in, where you can’t challenge another grown man to settle your disputes with a duel, but TRUTH and JUSTICE have won again!

Comments  1.3k   Retweets  7.5k   Likes  33k

al gore @albertgore

found the old twitter account of the guy running against ann richards in texas and, lol. lmao, even.

   Gee Dubya @geedubyabush

   #tbt my #firstdui #noregrets

   Photo attached

Comments  343   Retweets  2.7k   Likes  15k

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al gore @albertgore

omfg i JUST realized this guy is also hw bush's son LMFAOOOOOOO

Comments  56   Retweets  846   Likes  9k

George W. Bush

@GWBushforTX

My statement on recent events concerning me.

Photo attached

Comments 896  Retweets 1.4k  Likes 4.9k