Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

The roar of the crowd still echoed in Chaewon's ears as she slumped into the dressing room. Sweat beaded on her forehead despite the air conditioning.

"Did you see that girl in the front row?" Sakura tossed her water bottle between her hands, eyes bright. "The one who knew every single word to 'Eve'?"

"Even the Japanese parts!" Kazuha laughed, unwinding her hair from its tight ponytail. "Better pronunciation than some of our staff."

Eunchae flopped down beside Chaewon, nudging her with an elbow. "That crowd was insane. I swear the floor was actually shaking during 'EASY'."

"Hmm? Yeah." Chaewon blinked, forcing herself back to the present.

Sakura frowned. "You okay?"

"Fine. Just tired." Chaewon's fingers hovered over her phone, thumb scrolling to Yunjin's contact for the third time that hour.

Kazuha caught the motion and exchanged glances with Sakura.

"Has she texted?" Eunchae asked, peeling off her stage earrings.

"This morning. Said physical therapy is helping." Chaewon locked her screen. "Doctor still says at least six more weeks."

"Half the tour," Sakura muttered.

Chaewon stood abruptly. "I'm getting water."

She pushed through the door into the hallway, breathing in the quiet. Three years of performing together, and suddenly the stage felt unbalanced. Wrong. Yunjin should be here, stealing her water, making terrible jokes during quick-changes, harmonizing perfectly on their duet parts.

The phone in her hand buzzed.

Yunjinie: How was tonight? Better than Bangkok?

Chaewon's fingers hovered over the keys. What could she say? That she kept turning to share a moment with someone who wasn't there? That she'd messed up the formation twice because muscle memory expected five, not four?

The door swung open behind her. Sakura stepped out, makeup half-removed.

"You didn't actually get water," she observed.

"I was going to."

"Sure." Sakura leaned against the wall. "You know it's not your fault, right?"

"I never said—"

"You didn't have to." Sakura crossed her arms. "Your face does this thing when you're blaming yourself. Like right now."

Chaewon's phone buzzed again.

Yunjinie: I saw fan videos. You killed that high note in UNFORGIVEN

"She's watching the fancams," Chaewon said, throat tight.

Sakura smiled. "Of course she is. Probably driving her physical therapist crazy talking about what she would've done differently."

For the first time that night, Chaewon laughed. "Definitely."

"So text her back. Tell her we miss her. And then come help me convince Kazuha not to order room service at 1 AM again."

Chaewon nodded, fingers already typing.

We miss you. It's not the same. But we're making you proud.

Chaewon's phone buzzed immediately.

Yunjinie: I know y'all are. Especially you.

Her stomach dropped. She stared at the message, thumb hovering over the screen. The hallway suddenly felt too narrow, the air too thin.

"Everything okay?" Sakura paused at the door.

"Fine." Chaewon shoved her phone into her pocket. "Just fine."

Back inside, Eunchae had sprawled across the couch while Kazuha scrolled through her own phone, muttering about delivery options.

"The hotel kitchen closes at midnight," Kazuha said without looking up. "But there's a place that delivers until 2 AM."

"Not again," Sakura groaned. "You were up all night with indigestion after the last late-night feast."

Chaewon sank into a chair, pulling her knees to her chest. Especially you. What did Yunjin mean by that? That she noticed Chaewon's mistakes? That she was watching her specifically?

"Earth to Chaewon," Eunchae waved a hand in front of her face. "Zuha-unnie asked if you want food."

"I'm not hungry."

Kazuha set her phone down. "Okay, what's going on? You've been weird all night."

"Nothing's going on."

"Bullshit," Kazuha said. "You missed two transitions and nearly collided with me during 'EASY'."

Chaewon flinched. "I know. I'm sorry."

"I don't want an apology. I want to know what's happening with you."

Sakura shot Kazuha a warning look. "Maybe ease up a bit?"

"No, she's right." Chaewon pulled out her phone, tossing it onto the table. "Yunjin's watching all our performances. Commenting on them."

Eunchae sat up. "That's good, right? She's staying connected."

"She said I'm 'especially' making her proud." Chaewon's voice cracked. "But I'm not. I'm messing up. The formations are off. My high note in 'Smart' was flat tonight."

"So?" Kazuha challenged. "We all mess up."

"Not like this. Not when—" Chaewon stopped herself.

"Not when what?" Sakura pressed gently.

"Not when I'm supposed to be leading in her absence." The words tumbled out. "I'm the one who should be holding it together. For her. For all of us."

The room fell silent. Eunchae reached for Chaewon's hand.

"That's not on you," she said softly. "We're all missing her."

"But I'm—"

"Our leader, yes," Kazuha interrupted. "Not our savior. Not some perfect stand-in for Yunjin."

Chaewon's phone lit up with another message.

Yunjinie: Video call? Just for 5 min before you crash?

"She wants to video call," Chaewon whispered.

"So answer it," Sakura urged. "Tell her what you just told us."

"I can't dump that on her. She's already dealing with enough."

Kazuha snatched the phone. "If you won't, I will."

"Don't you dare!" Chaewon lunged for it, but Kazuha danced away.

"Then call her back. Right now. Or I swear I'll order the spiciest food on the menu and eat it in your room all night."

Despite everything, Chaewon laughed. "That's your big threat?"

"You know I'll do it," Kazuha warned, a smile playing at her lips.

Chaewon took the phone back, her finger hovering over the call button. "Fine. But all of you, out."

"Not a chance," Eunchae said, settling in deeper. "We miss her too."

"Eunchae-yah. I'm not in the mood for this." Chaewon's voice hardened, her shoulders tensing. She stood, clutching the phone to her chest like a shield.

Eunchae's smile faltered. "Unnie—"

"Please." The word came out sharper than Chaewon intended. She softened her tone. "Just five minutes. Alone."

Sakura caught Eunchae's eye and nodded toward the door. "Come on. Let's raid the snack table while it's still out."

"But—" Eunchae started.

"Now," Sakura said firmly, already moving toward the exit.

Kazuha lingered, studying Chaewon's face. "Five minutes. Then we're coming back with food whether you want it or not."

The door clicked shut behind them. Chaewon exhaled, sinking back into her chair.

The silence pressed in, broken only by the distant thump of crew breaking down the stage.

She stared at Yunjin's contact photo—the two of them making peace signs, cheeks pressed together after their first win.

Her thumb hovered over the call button. What would she even say? I'm falling apart without you here. The group feels wrong. I feel wrong.

The phone buzzed in her hand, Yunjin's face filling the screen with an incoming call. Chaewon's heart lurched. She swiped to answer.

"Hey stranger," Yunjin's voice came through, slightly tinny but achingly familiar. Her face appeared, hair pulled back, glasses on, propped up against pillows in what looked like her bedroom.

"Hey yourself." Chaewon forced a smile, angling the camera to hide the mess of the dressing room. "Shouldn't you be sleeping? It's what, 3 AM there?"

"Says the workaholic who never sleeps." Yunjin leaned closer to the camera. "You look tired."

"Thanks a lot."

"I meant it as a compliment. Tired means you're working hard." Yunjin's eyes narrowed. "Wait, where is everyone? Did they abandon you?"

Chaewon swallowed. "I kicked them out. Needed a minute."

"Ah." Yunjin nodded slowly. "That bad, huh?"

"What?"

"The show. Your face has that look."

"What look?" Chaewon touched her cheek self-consciously.

"The 'I messed up and now I'm overthinking everything' look." Yunjin mimicked an exaggerated frown. "I've seen it enough times."

Chaewon looked away. "The show was fine."

"Liar."

"I'm not—"

"Chaewon-ah." Yunjin's voice softened. "Talk to me. Please."

The gentleness broke something in Chaewon's chest. Words spilled out before she could stop them. "I keep messing up. The formations feel wrong. I turned to harmonize with you three times tonight and you weren't there. And I know—I know it's stupid, but—"

"It's not stupid."

"It is! You're the one in actual pain, stuck at home while we're out here, and I'm complaining about—"

"About missing your friend?" Yunjin interrupted. "About having to adjust to a major change in the middle of a world tour? Yeah, how dare you have feelings about that."

Despite herself, Chaewon laughed. "Stop making sense. I'm trying to wallow here."

"Sorry to interrupt your pity party." Yunjin's smile faded. "But seriously. I miss you too. All of you."

"I know you do..." Chaewon murmured, barely audible. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, the empty dressing room suddenly feeling too large around her. "How are you holding up?"

"Who says I am?" Yunjin's eyebrows shot up.

"I meant your back," Chaewon clarified, leaning closer to the screen. "The pain."

"That's so T of you." Yunjin rolled her eyes, shifting against her pillows with a barely concealed wince. "Always straight to the practical concerns."

"Someone has to be."

"It's fine. Better." Yunjin waved dismissively, but Chaewon caught how she subtly adjusted her position again. "The doctor says I'm making progress."

"That's not what I asked."

Yunjin sighed. "What do you want me to say? That it hurts like hell? That I can barely sleep? That I've watched every performance you've done so far because it's the only thing that distracts me from the pain?"

Chaewon's breath caught. "Jin-ah..."

"Don't." Yunjin's voice sharpened. "Don't use that tone. I don't need pity."

"It's not pity."

Yunjin's expression softened. "I know. But I don't want you worrying about me when you should be focusing on the tour."

"Too late for that," Chaewon admitted, glancing at the clock on the wall. The others would be back soon. "I worry anyway."

"For what? For me to admit I'm miserable? Fine. I am." Yunjin leaned back, her face momentarily contorting before she masked it. "But watching you guys—watching you—that helps. So don't you dare feel guilty about being out there while I'm stuck here."

Chaewon swallowed hard. "I'll call tomorrow. After the interview."

"I know you will." Yunjin's smile turned genuine. "And Chaewon?"

"Hmm?"

"Stop overthinking the formations. You're doing fine. Better than fine."

Chaewon shook her head. "You're just saying that."

"When have I ever 'just said' anything?" Yunjin challenged. "I criticize you constantly. It's my favorite hobby."

That pulled a real laugh from Chaewon. "True."

"So believe me when I say you're killing it. The fans don't see what's missing—they see what's there. And what's there is still amazing."

Chaewon's fingers tightened around her phone. "You make it sound so simple."

"It's not simple. It's just true." Yunjin shifted again, a small hiss escaping before she could catch it.

"What was that?" Chaewon straightened. "Are you okay?"

"Just..." Yunjin grimaced, readjusting her position. "It gets troublesome sometimes. In subtle ways."

"Subtle?"

"Like how I can't sit in one position for more than ten minutes. Or how I have to sleep with this ridiculous pillow arrangement." She tilted the camera to show a fortress of cushions surrounding her. "Or how I dropped a glass yesterday because my hand suddenly went numb."

Chaewon's stomach clenched. "You didn't mention that."

"Because it's boring. And depressing." Yunjin's voice softened. "And I didn't want you to worry more than you already are."

"Did the doctors ever find the root of the issue?" Chaewon asked, leaning forward. "Beyond the initial diagnosis?"

Yunjin's eyes flicked away from the camera. "Cumulative stress, most likely. Years of dance training, performances, bad sleeping positions on planes."

"Most likely? That doesn't sound definitive."

"It rarely is with back problems." Yunjin shrugged, then winced at the movement. "They've ruled out the scary stuff. Now it's just... recovery. Patience."

"Not exactly your strong suit."

"Look who's talking." Yunjin's smile returned, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. "The girl who once practiced for sixteen hours straight because her turn wasn't 'sharp enough.'"

The door handle turned, voices growing louder in the hallway.

"I should go," Chaewon said reluctantly.

"Wait." Yunjin's voice took on an urgency that made Chaewon pause. "There's something else."

"What?"

Yunjin hesitated, glancing off-camera. "The doctor mentioned... if this treatment plan doesn't work, they might consider surgery."

The word hung between them, heavy and unwelcome.

"Surgery?" Chaewon repeated, her voice barely audible.

"It's a last resort. And probably won't be necessary." Yunjin rushed to add. "But I wanted you to know. Just in case."

"Just in case what?"

"In case I'm not back when I promised." Yunjin's eyes were steady, despite the tremor in her voice. "In case this takes longer than we thought."

Chaewon's throat tightened. "Don't say that."

"We have to be realistic."

"No, we have to be positive." Chaewon stood, pacing the small area visible in her camera frame. "You'll recover. You'll come back. And until then, I have to keep everything together."

"You don't have to carry this alone."

"Yes, I do." Chaewon stopped pacing, her shoulders squaring. "I'm the leader. I have to set the example. Be an example for the rest of the group."

"An example of what? Perfection?" Yunjin's voice sharpened. "That's not leadership, Chaewon. That's a performance."

The words hit like a physical blow. Chaewon sank back into her chair. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I know you." Yunjin leaned closer to the camera, her eyes piercing even through the screen. "I know how you bottle everything up. How you think showing any weakness will somehow let everyone down."

"That's not—"

"It is. And you know it." Yunjin's voice softened, but her gaze remained unwavering. "The others don't need you to be perfect. They need you to be real. To show them it's okay to struggle sometimes."

Chaewon looked away, blinking rapidly. "I can't fall apart. Not now."

"There's a difference between falling apart and letting yourself feel things." Yunjin paused, waiting until Chaewon met her eyes again. "Your strength isn't in hiding your struggles, Chaewon-ah. It's in facing them. Always has been."

Something cracked in Chaewon's carefully constructed facade. "I don't know how to do this without you," she admitted, the words barely audible.

"Yes, you do." Yunjin's voice was gentle but firm. "You did it before I joined. You'll do it now. The difference is you don't have to pretend it's easy."

Chaewon wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. "When did you get so wise?"

"Pain has its benefits." Yunjin attempted a smile. "Lots of time to think when you're staring at the ceiling at 3 AM."

Chaewon's expression softened. "I miss our little slumber parties."

"Which ones? The official ones where we all pile into one hotel room, or the unofficial ones where you sneak into my bed at 2 AM because you can't sleep?"

"Both." Chaewon smiled, tracing a pattern on the arm of her chair. "Remember during FEARLESS promotions? That night before Music Bank?"

Yunjin's eyes widened. "When we stayed up talking about—"

"No, after that." Chaewon's lips curved into a knowing smile. "When you thought I was asleep."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Yunjin's cheeks flushed pink.

"Really? So that wasn't you tracing constellations on my back?"

Yunjin's mouth fell open. "You knew!?"

"Of course I knew." Chaewon laughed, the sound lighter than it had been all evening. "You were whispering the names. Ursa Major. Cassiopeia. Something about Andromeda."

"I can't believe this." Yunjin buried her face in her hands. "I thought you were dead asleep!"

"I was, until you started your little astronomy lesson." Chaewon leaned closer to the camera. "You drew a whole galaxy on my back."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because..." Chaewon hesitated, her voice dropping. "It was nice. Peaceful. I didn't want you to stop."

Yunjin lowered her hands, her embarrassment fading into something softer. "I remember thinking the moles on your back looked like stars."

"Is that why you were connecting them?"

"Maybe." Yunjin shrugged, wincing slightly at the movement. "Or maybe I was just bored and you were the closest canvas."

"Liar." Chaewon's smile turned teasing. "You wrote something too. In English."

Yunjin froze. "No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did. Right here." Chaewon reached behind her, touching a spot between her shoulder blades. "I couldn't see it, but I felt it."

"It was nothing." Yunjin looked away, suddenly fascinated by something off-camera.

"Tell me."

"Absolutely not."

"I'll ask Kazuha."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me." Chaewon raised an eyebrow in challenge.

Yunjin sighed, defeated. "Fine. It was 'brave.'"

"Brave?" Chaewon repeated, her teasing smile fading.

"It's what I think of when I look at you." Yunjin's voice was quiet but steady. "Always have."

The word hung between them, weighted with years of shared struggles and triumphs.

"You've come so far from that shy girl I met at Produce 48," Yunjin said, her voice soft with memory. "Remember how you used to hide behind your bangs whenever anyone spoke to you?"

Chaewon rolled her eyes. "I wasn't that bad."

"You literally ran away when Lee Hongki tried to compliment your voice."

"That was different. He was intimidating."

Yunjin's smile turned thoughtful. "You remember our first kiss?"

Chaewon's cheeks flushed instantly. She glanced at the door, lowering her voice. "Yes."

"That's the first time I saw it. The braveness in you." Yunjin leaned closer to the camera. "You were terrified, but you did it anyway."

"I wasn't terrified," Chaewon protested weakly.

"Your hands were shaking."

"It was cold in there."

"It was August, Chaewon."

They both laughed, the sound mingling through the phone speaker.

"Fine." Chaewon tucked her hair behind her ear, a nervous habit she'd never outgrown. "I was scared. But not of kissing you."

"No?"

"I was scared you wouldn't kiss me back."

Yunjin's expression softened. "As if there was ever a chance of that."

"The possibility always existed." Chaewon's voice dropped to barely above a whisper. "You could have pushed me away. Laughed it off. Pretended it never happened."

Yunjin shifted suddenly, trying to find a more comfortable position. Her face contorted in pain, a sharp hiss escaping through clenched teeth.

"You okay?" Chaewon leaned forward, concern etching her features.

"Fine." Yunjin waved dismissively, settling back against her pillows. "Just moved wrong."

Chaewon frowned. "Maybe we should—"

"Did you gay panic?" Yunjin interrupted, her eyes sparkling with mischief despite the lingering tension in her jaw.

"What?"

"After our kiss. Did you have a full-on gay panic moment?" Yunjin's smile turned teasing. "I bet you did."

Chaewon's cheeks flamed. She looked down, suddenly fascinated by a loose thread on her outfit.

"Your silence is very telling," Yunjin laughed softly.

"Shut up."

"Oh my god, you totally did." Yunjin's eyes widened in delight. "What happened? Did you call your mom? Write in your diary? Compose angsty poetry?"

Chaewon remained silent, her blush deepening.

"Wait." Yunjin gasped. "You did write poetry, didn't you?"

"I'm hanging up now."

"No, no, no! I need to hear this poem."

"There is no poem."

"Liar."

Chaewon glanced at the door, then back at Yunjin. "There might have been... something. But it wasn't poetry."

"What was it?"

"A song." The admission came out so quietly Yunjin had to lean closer to hear it.

"A song?" Yunjin's teasing smile softened into something more tender. "Did you ever finish it?"

Chaewon shook her head. "It was terrible."

"I doubt that."

"Trust me. It rhymed 'kiss' with 'bliss.'"

They both laughed, the sound intimate and warm in the empty dressing room.

"I want to hear it someday," Yunjin said, her voice gentle but insistent.

"Not a chance."

"I'll get it out of you eventually."

Footsteps approached in the hallway, voices growing louder.

"They're coming back," Chaewon said, straightening her posture.

"Perfect timing. I was about to make you even more embarrassed." Yunjin's smile turned serious. "Call me tomorrow?"

"First thing after the interview."

"I'll be waiting." Yunjin paused, her eyes holding Chaewon's through the screen. "And Chaewon?"

"Hmm?"

"I never would have pushed you away. Not then. Not ever."

The door handle turned as Kazuha's voice carried through, arguing with Eunchae about something.

"Tomorrow," Chaewon whispered, her eyes saying what her voice couldn't.

Yunjin nodded. "Tomorrow."

The door opened as Kazuha entered first, balancing containers of food, followed by Sakura and Eunchae.

"Aww, we missed her?" Eunchae pouted, setting down a bag of takeout on the makeup counter. "I was hoping we'd make it back in time."

"She was really tired," Chaewon said, slipping her phone into her pocket. "It's late there."

Sakura studied Chaewon's face, noting the slight flush in her cheeks and the relaxed set of her shoulders—a marked difference from the tense, distracted leader who had shooed them out earlier. She handed Chaewon a container without comment.

"Thanks," Chaewon murmured, meeting Sakura's knowing gaze briefly before looking away.

"I got your favorite," Kazuha announced, distributing chopsticks. "The spicy noodles with extra vegetables."

"Yunjin would have loved this spread," Eunchae sighed, opening container after container. "Especially these dumplings. Remember how she ate like twenty of them after our showcase last year?"

"And then complained about cramps during the entire flight," Kazuha added, settling cross-legged on the floor.

"Worth it, according to her," Sakura laughed, joining Kazuha on the floor.

Chaewon smiled, the expression coming easier now. "She'd definitely steal half my noodles."

"And claim she was doing you a favor," Eunchae giggled, perching on the arm of Chaewon's chair. "Portion control, unnie!"

Chaewon's imitation of Yunjin's voice was surprisingly accurate. "You'll thank me later!"

The room filled with laughter, the tension of the evening finally breaking. Chaewon twirled noodles around her chopsticks, suddenly realizing how hungry she was.

"So," Sakura said between bites, "how is she really doing?"

Chaewon hesitated, Yunjin's words about surgery echoing in her mind. "She's... managing. The pain comes and goes."

"Did they figure out what's causing it?" Kazuha asked.

"Cumulative stress, mostly." Chaewon kept her tone casual, though her grip on her chopsticks tightened. "Years of training, performances, bad sleeping positions."

Eunchae's face fell. "So it's because of dancing? Because of what we do?"

"Not exactly," Chaewon said quickly. "It's more complicated than that."

"But she'll be back, right?" Eunchae pressed. "For the Asian leg of the tour at least?"

Chaewon met Sakura's eyes over Eunchae's head.

"Let's focus on getting through tomorrow first," Sakura suggested gently. "One day at a time."

"Exactly," Chaewon agreed, grateful for the assist. "Besides, Yunjin would hate us sitting around worrying about her when there's perfectly good food getting cold."

"True," Kazuha nodded, reaching for another container. "She'd call us dramatic."

"And then be twice as dramatic herself," Eunchae added with a smile.

Chaewon laughed, the sound genuine. "Exactly."

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out, Yunjin's name lighting up the screen.

Yunjinie: Forgot to say - don't let Kazuha order that spicy chicken thing again. Remember Tokyo?

Chaewon snorted, typing back quickly.

*Too late. Already demolished half the container.*

The dressing room door swung open without warning. A harried-looking stylist—Minji—poked her head in, clipboard clutched to her chest.

"There you are!" Minji's gaze landed on Sakura. "I've been looking everywhere. We need to refit your 'ANTIFRAGILE' outfit before tomorrow. The shoulder seam is coming loose."

Sakura groaned, setting down her food. "Now? Can't it wait until morning?"

"The alterations team is leaving in twenty minutes." Minji tapped her watch. "It's now or you perform with a wardrobe malfunction."

"Fine." Sakura stood, brushing crumbs from her lap. "But I'm bringing this with me." She snatched up her container of dumplings.

Minji's eyes darted to Chaewon. "Oh, and Manager Hyun is looking for you. Emergency meeting in conference room B."

Chaewon stiffened. "Emergency? What happened?"

"Something about the Jakarta venue." Minji lowered her voice, glancing around the room. "Manager Hyun said to keep it private. For your ears only."

Chaewon's stomach dropped. "That doesn't sound good."

Minji shrugged, already tugging Sakura toward the door. "All I know is she wants you in conference room B. Now."

"I'll come with you," Kazuha offered, setting down her food.

Minji shook her head. "Sorry, Manager Hyun was specific. Just Chaewon."

Kazuha frowned. "That's weird."

"Leader stuff," Minji repeated, tapping her watch impatiently. "Sakura, we really need to go."

"I'm coming, I'm coming." Sakura followed Minji to the door, shooting Chaewon a concerned look. "Text if you need anything."

Chaewon nodded, already gathering her things. She slipped her phone into her back pocket and grabbed her lanyard with the backstage pass.

"What do you think it's about?" Eunchae asked, eyes wide.

"No idea." Chaewon tried to keep her voice steady despite the anxiety bubbling in her chest. "Probably just logistics."

"At this hour?" Kazuha raised an eyebrow. "Seems serious."

"I'll handle it." Chaewon squared her shoulders, the weight of leadership settling back into place. "Save me some food?"

"No promises," Eunchae grinned, though concern lingered in her eyes.

Chaewon headed for the door, pausing with her hand on the knob. "Don't wait up if I'm late. Early interview tomorrow."

"We know the drill," Kazuha said, studying Chaewon's face. "You sure you don't want backup?"

Chaewon hesitated, Yunjin's advice flickering through her mind. Then she shook her head. "I've got this. Enjoy dinner."

The hallway stretched before her. Chaewon walked briskly, her mind racing through possibilities. Venue problems? Schedule changes? Budget cuts?

Her phone buzzed.

Yunjinie: Everything okay?

Chaewon typed quickly as she walked.

*Manager emergency meeting. Will call after.*

The response came immediately.

Yunjinie: Sounds ominous. Fighting!

Chaewon smiled despite her nerves, pocketing the phone as she approached conference room B. She took a deep breath, smoothed her hair, and knocked firmly.

"Come in," Manager Hyun's voice called.

Chaewon pushed open the door, her leader face firmly in place. Whatever the emergency, she would handle it. She always did.

Manager Hyun gestured to the empty chair across from her. "Sit down, Chaewon."

The conference room felt too large for just the two of them. A laptop sat open on the table, spreadsheets and documents minimized in the taskbar.

Chaewon slid into the chair, back straight. "What's the emergency with Jakarta?"

"Jakarta?" Manager Hyun frowned, then understanding dawned. "Ah, Minji must have improvised. There's no venue issue."

"Then what—"

"It's about Yunjin." Manager Hyun folded her hands on the table, her expression carefully neutral.

Chaewon's heart stuttered. "What about her?"

"I received a call from her medical team an hour ago." Manager Hyun tapped a pen against the table. "They've completed their latest assessment."

"And?" Chaewon leaned forward, fingers digging into her knees beneath the table.

Manager Hyun sighed, dropping the professional facade. "It's not good news, Chaewon-ah."

"Just tell me." The words came out sharper than intended.

"Surgery is looking increasingly likely." Manager Hyun pushed a folder across the table. "Her latest scans show the disc herniation is pressing on her nerve root. Conservative treatment isn't producing the results they hoped for."

Chaewon stared at the folder without opening it. "She mentioned the possibility earlier. On our call."

"She did?" Manager Hyun looked surprised. "That's... unexpected. She was quite adamant about keeping it quiet when I spoke with her."

"When is the surgery?" Chaewon's voice remained steady despite the tremor in her hands.

"Not scheduled yet. They're trying one more round of intensive physical therapy first." Manager Hyun leaned back in her chair. "But they're preparing her—and us—for the likelihood."

"Recovery time?" Chaewon asked, slipping automatically into problem-solving mode.

"Minimum eight weeks post-operation before any physical activity. Another four to six before dance training could resume." Manager Hyun's voice softened. "We're looking at the rest of the tour, Chaewon. Possibly longer."

The words landed like physical blows. Chaewon's chest tightened, but she kept her expression neutral. "Does the company know?"

"I briefed them before calling you in." Manager Hyun pushed her glasses up her nose. "They're preparing contingency plans."

"Meaning?"

"Tour modifications. Choreography adjustments. Possibly bringing in a temporary dancer for certain numbers." Manager Hyun hesitated. "And PR strategies for when this goes public."

Chaewon's jaw clenched. "She's not being replaced."

"Of course not." Manager Hyun looked offended. "But we need to be realistic about the timeline."

"Does she know you're telling me this?" Chaewon asked suddenly.

Manager Hyun shifted in her seat. "Not exactly. She wanted to wait until after tomorrow's show."

"So she doesn't know." Chaewon stood abruptly, chair scraping against the floor. "I need to call her."

"Chaewon, wait." Manager Hyun's voice sharpened. "There's more we need to discuss. Tour logistics, statement preparations—"

"With all due respect," Chaewon interrupted, "those can wait. My member—my friend—is sitting alone in Seoul right now, probably terrified about her future. That takes priority."

"Stop." Manager Hyun's palm slapped against the table. "Making an impulsive move won't help anyone, especially not Yunjin."

Chaewon froze, halfway to the door.

"Sit down." Manager Hyun's voice softened but remained firm. "Please."

Chaewon hesitated, then slowly returned to her chair.

"I understand your instinct to rush to her," Manager Hyun said, removing her glasses to rub the bridge of her nose. "But think this through. It's 3 AM in Seoul. She's likely asleep—which is exactly what she needs right now."

"She was awake when I called earlier," Chaewon countered, fingers drumming against her thigh.

"Because she was waiting for your call." Manager Hyun leaned forward. "Chaewon-ah, I've known you both for years. If you call her now, voice shaking, what do you think will happen?"

Chaewon looked away. "She deserves to know we're discussing her future."

"And she will—at the right time, in the right way." Manager Hyun slid a tablet across the table. "Look at these first."

Chaewon reluctantly took the tablet. On screen was a medical report with Yunjin's name at the top. She scrolled through pages of technical terminology, stopping at a section highlighted in yellow.

"Patient exhibits heightened anxiety regarding career implications," she read aloud. "Recommended approach: minimize stress factors during treatment decision period."

"Keep reading," Manager Hyun urged.

"Patient expressed specific concern about 'burdening teammates.'" Chaewon's voice caught. "Particularly group leader."

She set the tablet down, the fight draining from her posture.

"Text the others," Manager Hyun said gently. "Tell them not to wait for you. We have a lot to discuss before you speak with Yunjin."

Chaewon pulled out her phone, staring at the screen for a moment before typing:

*meeting's gonna run a bit later than I thought.*

*if you guys want, once kkura-unnie is done with*

*her fitting, you can go back to the hotel and rest.*

*Manager-nim said the car could come back for me later.*

Sakura responded with a thumbs-up emoji.

Eunchae replied immediately:

*What about you though, unnie? You know*

*I don't like to fall asleep alone :(*

Chaewon's expression softened as she typed back:

*i know, manchae, i'm sorry. you*

*need to rest though. i'll be as quick*

*as possible, I promise.*

Kazuha chimed in:

*is everything ok with the meeting, unnie?*

Chaewon hesitated, glancing at Manager Hyun before responding:

*it's fine. the staff just got some*

*updates about Yunjin's recovery*

*and we need to work a few things out,*

*that's all.*

Sakura's response came last:

*Be safe, Chaewon-ah. You get some rest too.*

Chaewon sent a heart emoji in response, then set her phone face-down on the table and looked up at Manager Hyun. "Okay. Where do we start?"

"With the facts." Manager Hyun turned her laptop around. "Here's what we know, what we don't know, and what Yunjin needs from all of us right now."

Chaewon straightened in her chair, pushing her emotions aside. For Yunjin's sake, she needed clarity, not just compassion. She pulled the laptop closer, focusing on the screen instead of the fear gnawing at her insides.

"I'm listening," she said, voice steady once more.

Manager Hyun pulled out another folder, this one with the company psychologist's letterhead. "Dr. Park left specific instructions for how to approach this conversation with Yunjin."

"A script?" Chaewon's eyebrows shot up. "You want me to follow a script when talking to my own member?"

"Not a script. Guidelines." Manager Hyun slid the papers across the table. "Based on Yunjin's psychological assessment."

Chaewon scanned the first page, lips thinning. "This feels manipulative."

"It's therapeutic." Manager Hyun removed her glasses, rubbing tired eyes. "You don't trust someone who actually studied for this?"

"I trust my relationship with Yunjin." Chaewon pushed the papers back. "Three years counts for something."

"Three years is exactly why you need this." Manager Hyun tapped the folder. "You're too close. Your instinct will be to protect her feelings or share your own fears. Neither helps her right now."

Chaewon crossed her arms. "So what am I supposed to do? Pretend everything's fine?"

"No. You're supposed to create space for her to process without absorbing your anxiety too." Manager Hyun's voice softened. "Chaewon-ah, this isn't about controlling the conversation. It's about supporting her effectively."

Chaewon stared at the folder, conflict evident in her rigid posture.

"Did you know Yunjin's been having panic attacks?" Manager Hyun asked quietly.

Chaewon's head snapped up. "What? Since when?"

"Since the diagnosis. She's been hiding them from you." Manager Hyun pushed the folder forward again. "That's why Dr. Park got involved."

Chaewon reached for the papers with trembling fingers. "She never said anything."

"Because she's protecting you, just like you're trying to protect her." Manager Hyun leaned back. "Break the cycle. Try a different approach."

Chaewon flipped through the guidelines, her resistance crumbling. Phrases jumped out at her: *Validate concerns without catastrophizing. Create space for grief without feeding hopelessness. Emphasize team support without pressure to recover quickly.*

"Fine." Chaewon exhaled slowly. "I'll follow the guidelines."

"Thank you." Manager Hyun's shoulders relaxed slightly. "Dr. Park suggested waiting until tomorrow evening to call. After your interview but before her therapy session."

Chaewon nodded, still scanning the document. "What about the others? When do we tell them?"

"That's your call." Manager Hyun gathered her papers. "But Dr. Park recommends waiting until after you've spoken with Yunjin."

"They'll know something's wrong the minute they see my face." Chaewon folded the guidelines and slipped them into her pocket.

"Then don't let them see your face until morning." Manager Hyun stood, signaling the end of the meeting. "Go straight to your room when you get back."

Chaewon rose, exhaustion suddenly hitting her full force. "Is that all?"

"For now." Manager Hyun hesitated, then added, "She's strong, Chaewon. Stronger than you're giving her credit for."

"I know how strong she is." Chaewon headed for the door. "That's what scares me."

"What do you mean?"

Chaewon paused, hand on the doorknob. "She'll push herself too hard trying to get back to us. She always does."

Manager Hyun nodded slowly. "Then that's what you need to address. Not the surgery, not the recovery time. Her tendency to sacrifice herself for the group."

"For me," Chaewon corrected quietly. "She does it for me."

The admission hung in the air, heavy with implications neither was ready to voice.

"The car is waiting downstairs," Manager Hyun said finally. "Get some rest, Chaewon. Tomorrow will be challenging enough."

Chaewon nodded and slipped out the door, the psychologist's guidelines weighing in her pocket like stones.

Chaewon trudged down the empty corridor. Her phone vibrated in her pocket. She pulled it out, squinting at the bright screen.

*Eunchae: unnie, i really can't sleep*

*Eunchae: i tried but the room feels too big*

*Eunchae: when are you coming back?*

Chaewon sighed, thumbs hovering over the keyboard. The car was waiting, but Eunchae's neediness tugged at her heart. She typed back:

*almost done, manchae. just get*

*into bed and close your eyes.*

*i'll be there before you know it.*

The response came immediately:

*Eunchae: i don't want to :(*

*Eunchae: can you at least stay on the phone with me?*

Chaewon pushed through the exit doors, cool night air hitting her face. The company car idled at the curb, driver scrolling through his phone. She paused on the steps, calling Eunchae instead of texting.

"Unnie!" Eunchae's voice came through, bright despite the late hour.

"You should be sleeping," Chaewon said, keeping her voice gentle but firm.

"I told you, I can't." Rustling sounds came through the speaker. "The hotel room is creepy when I'm alone."

"It's the same hotel room we've stayed in three times before." Chaewon nodded to the driver as she slid into the backseat.

"But Kazuha-unnie went to get ice, and Sakura-unnie isn't back yet, and—"

"Eunchae-yah." Chaewon cut her off, using her leader voice. "It's late. We have an interview at 7 AM."

"I know, but—"

"No buts." Chaewon softened her tone. "Did you try the breathing exercise I showed you?"

A pause. "No."

"Try it now. Five counts in, hold for three, seven counts out."

"That never works," Eunchae whined.

"Because you never actually try it." Chaewon leaned her head against the window, watching city lights blur past. "Come on. Do it with me."

She heard Eunchae's exaggerated inhale.

"Slower," Chaewon instructed. "One... two... three..."

They breathed together for several cycles, Eunchae's sighs gradually becoming less dramatic.

"Now turn on the white noise app," Chaewon continued. "The rainfall setting."

"Already did that."

"And your sleep mask?"

"It's itchy."

"Eunchae." Warning crept into Chaewon's voice.

"Fine, fine." More rustling. "It's on."

"Good girl." Chaewon smiled despite her exhaustion. "Now lie down properly."

"Will you sing to me?" Eunchae's voice had softened, sleepiness finally creeping in.

"I'm in the car."

"Just a little bit? Please?"

Chaewon glanced at the driver, who seemed absorbed in the road. She began humming softly, a lullaby her mother used to sing.

"That's nice," Eunchae murmured. "Yunjin-unnie used to sing that too."

Chaewon's humming faltered at the mention of Yunjin, the folder in her pocket suddenly feeling heavier.

"Unnie?" Eunchae's voice was barely audible now. "Are you still there?"

"I'm here," Chaewon whispered, resuming the melody. "Just close your eyes."

"Mmm." Eunchae's breathing slowed. "Don't hang up."

"I won't."

Chaewon continued humming, even as the car pulled up to their hotel. She waited, listening to Eunchae's breathing deepen into sleep before whispering, "Goodnight, Manchae."

She ended the call and stepped out of the car, the weight of the day—and tomorrow's conversation with Yunjin—pressing down on her shoulders.

Chaewon slid her keycard into the door, shoulders sagging with exhaustion. The lock clicked open just as her phone buzzed again. Sakura's name flashed on the screen.

She considered ignoring it, but Sakura would only persist. With a sigh, she answered. "Hey."

"What happened with Jakarta?" Sakura's voice was low but insistent.

Chaewon pushed into her room, flicking on the light with her elbow. "How was the fitting?"

"Don't change the subject." Fabric rustled on Sakura's end. "You're avoiding my question."

"I'm tired, unnie." Chaewon kicked off her shoes and collapsed onto the bed.

"And I'm worried." Sakura's voice softened. "You've been off all day, and now this mysterious meeting?"

Chaewon stared at the ceiling, the psychologist's guidelines burning a hole in her pocket. *Wait until after you've spoken with Yunjin.*

"Chaewon-ah." Sakura's tone shifted, gentler now. "It's me. Talk to me."

Something in Sakura's voice—the concern, the familiarity—cracked Chaewon's resolve. She sat up, pressing the phone closer.

"There was no Jakarta issue," she admitted, voice barely above a whisper.

"I figured." Sakura waited, giving Chaewon space to continue.

"It's Yunjin." The words felt heavy, final once spoken aloud. "Her back."

"How bad?"

Chaewon swallowed hard. "Surgery. Almost definitely."

Stretched silence. Then, "When?"

"Soon. They're trying one more round of intensive therapy first, but..." Chaewon's voice cracked. "The doctors aren't optimistic."

"Recovery time?"

"Minimum three months. Probably longer."

Sakura exhaled slowly. "The rest of the tour."

"Yeah." Chaewon pulled her knees to her chest. "Manager Hyun wants me to wait until tomorrow to tell her we know. After the interview."

"That's probably wise." Sakura paused. "Does she know how serious it is?"

"I think so. She mentioned surgery as a possibility when we video called earlier." Chaewon pressed her forehead against her knees. "But she downplayed it."

"Classic Yunjin." Sakura's voice held a sad smile. "Always protecting everyone else."

"Exactly." Chaewon's throat tightened. "I'm supposed to follow this whole protocol when I talk to her. Guidelines from the company psychologist."

"That sounds..."

"Ridiculous? Manipulative?"

"I was going to say 'helpful,'" Sakura corrected gently. "This isn't a normal conversation, Chaewon. It's okay to have support."

Chaewon hadn't expected that response. "You think I should follow the script?"

"I think you should use whatever tools help you be there for her." Sakura's voice was firm. "Your pride isn't what matters right now."

The bluntness stung, but Chaewon couldn't argue. "You're right."

"I usually am." Sakura's tone lightened slightly. "What about Eunchae and Kazuha?"

"Manager Hyun said to wait until after I talk to Yunjin."

"And what do you think?"

Chaewon hesitated. "I think... Eunchae will fall apart. And Kazuha will pretend she's fine while internalizing it."

"So, business as usual." Sakura's attempt at humor fell flat. "When will you tell them?"

"After the interview. Once I've talked to Yunjin." Chaewon rubbed her eyes. "Will you be there when I do? They might take it better with both of us."

"Of course." Sakura's voice softened. "You don't have to carry this alone, you know."

The echo of Yunjin's earlier words made Chaewon's chest ache. "That's what Yunjin said too."

"Smart girl." Sakura yawned. "We should sleep. Tomorrow will be... a lot."

"Yeah." Chaewon made no move to get ready for bed. "Kkura-unnie?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you. For checking on me."

"Always." Sakura's voice was warm. "Try to actually sleep, okay? Not just stare at the ceiling all night."

"I'll try." Chaewon knew it was a promise she wouldn't keep.

"Goodnight, Chaewon-ah."

"Night."

The call ended, leaving Chaewon alone in the room.

She pulled the psychologist's guidelines from her pocket, spreading the papers on the bed.

Tomorrow, she would need to be strong—for Yunjin, for the group. Tonight, she allowed herself one moment of weakness.

She curled onto her side, clutching her phone, and let the tears come.