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By the time Bob shuffles into the room, Linda’s already facedown on their bed.
“Lin.” He whispers, placing a hand on the wall to guide himself through the darkness.
Wary of the dirty laundry strewn about the floor, he manages to skillfully evade tripping on loose articles of clothing.
“Lin.” He repeats with more urgency. “Hey. I got the camera you wanted. I actually remembered. See?”
As evidence of his accomplishment, he waves the disposable camera above his head. Linda had asked him to pick one up on the way home from work, and he only remembered at the very last second. Pulling frantically into the lane closer to Walgreens, he’d grimaced apologetically at the car he cut in front of.
“Mmmm.” Linda says.
Whether or not she’s still asleep remains to be seen. As Bob hovers over her, he notices something that grabs his attention. Linda’s top half sticks out from beneath the comfort, and the expanse of her back is completely bare.
“Oh. No shirt? That’s…I like that.” He says. “But seriously, Lin. Look at this camera. It’s kind of cool.”
After a pause, Linda finds the strength to flip over. Squinting at Bob before eyeing the camera, her exhausted expression morphs into a smile.
“Aww, wow.” She says. “It’s cute, Bobby! That’s perfect. I’m gonna fill that thing up with pictures of you in your tux.”
Before he can warn her to be careful, she reaches up and snatches the camera from his hands.
“It’s not a tux, Lin.” He reminds her. “It’s a suit and tie. A very cheap suit and a…pretty cheap tie. I think. I don’t know a lot about tie prices.”
Linda’s still peering at the camera, too immersed in her new toy to care.
“Oh, tie schmie.” She says. “Me and Gayle had a camera like this when we were kids, you know. ‘Cept she used up all our film taking pictures of stray cats.”
Gently taking back the camera, Bob shrugs.
“Well, this one won’t have any stray cats in it. Just wedding pictures.”
At the mention of their wedding, Linda’s overtaken by a familiar glow. They got engaged three months ago, and not a day has gone by where she hasn’t spontaneously squealed with excitement.
“Our wedding!” She says, sitting up and clasping her hands together. “Can you believe it, Bobby? We’re gonna be married in two days!”
His mouth tilts upward, a smile just as sincere as hers but nowhere near as bright.
“I really can’t.” He says. “You’re gonna be my wife, Lin.”
Linda flicks on her bedside lamp, and Bob suspects that all the tiredness from before has left her body. He can’t help but notice her bare breasts bounce, just as perky as the mood she’s in.
“Wow.” He says dumbly. “I'm gonna be married to those. You sure you’re not gonna back out at the last second?”
Linda’s eyes turn stormy.
“For the last time, Bobby!” She says. “No. You’re stuck with me! Forever and ever.”
He nods, sitting on the edge of the bed. He places a hand on her knee, reminding himself that she isn’t going anywhere.
“Right. I know, sorry. Can I…make it up to you?”
As he propositions her, he also slides a hand above Linda’s knee and up to her thigh. Her skin is smooth, recently moisturized by a new bottle of lotion.
“You wanna?” She asks. “But you’ve been working all day, sweetie. I know you’re tired.”
Bob stares at her boobs again, and Linda laughs when she follows his eyeline.
“Not too tired for this.” He says. “Lie back, okay?”
Linda obliges, eyes falling shut as she reclines on the mattress. Though Bob’s feelings aren’t quite as visible as hers, he shares her excitement about the upcoming ceremony.
For the rest of his life, when they meet someone new, he’ll get to introduce Linda as his wife. The permanency associated with their new titles makes Bob feel safe, secure, and more ready to actually open the restaurant he’s always dreamed about.
Looking down at Linda, her eyes closed and a trusting smile on her lips, Bob is struck suddenly by the urge to capture the moment. Positioning the camera so that it catches both her beautiful face and her beautiful chest, he snaps a picture before he can second guess the decision.
Eyes shooting open, Linda gasps before squealing with a mix of amusement and embarrassment.
“Bobby!” She protests, laughing and smacking his chest.
“Sorry, sorry!” He says, also laughing. “You just looked nice. With your hair and your…face.”
“And my boobs?” Linda asks knowingly. “You’re such a weirdo. C’mere. Hand over the camera, Bobby. It’s your turn.”
Bob holds the camera away from her, shaking his head before her sentence is even finished. Linda’s a prime candidate for naked pictures—she’s gorgeous. If someone were to find his picture lying around, it would probably become the subject of some creepy urban legend.
Undeterred by his refusal, Linda crawls toward Bob and climbs in his lap. Still holding the camera out of her reach, he prays she’ll give up easily.
“Lin, I—”
Bob’s interrupted by the camera’s whirring sound as it spits out a fully developed picture. Linda stops in her tracks, the two of them drinking in the photograph.
“…woah.” Bob says simply, gazing at the picture of his smiling, topless almost-wife. “You’re…wow. Can I keep this, Lin?”
Seeing his reaction, Linda softens. She looks at herself without an ounce of insecurity, a sleepy smile on her face.
“Aww. Sure, honey. Yeah. You really like it that much?”
Bob nods, not tearing his eyes off the picture, and Linda pushes into him for a gentler kiss.
“Let’s have some pre-wedding sex.” She suggests quietly. “Might be our last try before we get all married and boring, right?”
The words should probably be offensive, but neither Bob or Linda takes them that way. As he wraps an arm around her waist, kissing his fiancée again, Bob can’t wait to be old, married, and boring with her.