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She always kept a heart-shaped locket around her neck.
She thinks he gave it to her, though she’s not quite sure. Maybe he did once, in another life. But all these lives that they have lived blend together so much. All she was certain of was that it couldn’t have been this one.
He hated her too much for that now.
When the isolation got to be too much, she’d instinctively wrap her hand around it. Clutch it close to her chest out of desperation. Hold it so tight that it would turn her knuckles white and almost cause her palms to bleed. She knew she shouldn’t wear it—it was heavy and weighed down on her as the nights went on. It’s presence was almost too much to bear.
Almost.
She still kept it, though.
Tilly would sometimes notice her fidgeting with it, and tilt her head in confusion. Pearl would just sigh and shake her head, reluctantly letting go. She couldn’t fidget with it for too long in front of Tilly—the poor wolf would try and help her friend by tearing it off. And as much as Pearl was sure that she’d destroy the damn thing if she’d let her, she never did.
For some reason, she couldn’t bring herself to get rid of it.
She wondered if it was cursed. Maybe it was enchanted with binding. Or maybe she was cursed with being sentimental for a failed relationship that was sure to get her killed one day.
Everyone else could try. But somehow she was certain that she wouldn’t be killed at anyone’s hands but his.
“You know, I’ve always been wondering that about you,” Martyn asked her once, his arms crossed as he raised a blonde eyebrow. She wished he would go away—she almost hated him worse than Scott. Instead of outright abandoning her, he’d always taunt her with the idea of partnership before taking it all back at the last moment.
Typically she’d just drone out his words, but today something caught her ear.
“Why do you always wear that necklace you got there?”
She froze, a deep chill running through her chest as her eyes widened in shock. It didn’t take two seconds before she had pushed him against a tree, her axe pressed against his neck with enough force to draw the slightest bit of blood. Her hand shook, the wood pressing into her palm uncomfortably. Her breath was heavy, and she was unable to slow it.
Martyn stood there horrified, his hands held up in surrender. He looked like a rabbit who accidentally stumbled into a wolf’s den.
“Woah, woah, woah!” He stammered, clearly trying to decipher her seemingly meaningless attack, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I didn’t think I was asking anything bad! I wasn’t even trying to provoke you this time!”
Pearl took a breath and lowered her axe, taking a long step back and staring at Martyn with enough intensity to kill a man.
“Don’t ask dumb questions,” She shook her head, acting as if she hadn’t almost ended his life for just asking a simple question. Swiftly, she turned around, sauntering back off into the woods from which she came.
“Where are you going?” He called out to her, still with an on edge look on his face, clearly not listening to her request about the dumb questions.
“Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy?” She muttered, walking the long and winding path back to her tower.
She almost collapsed into Tilly’s silky fur the moment she returned, embracing the warmth like a blessing. The wolf whined softly, understanding that something had clearly happened to upset her companion.
“Is there something wrong with me?” She asked, her voice strained and slightly muffled against Tilly’s fur. She held her locket in her hand, the face of the man who gave it to her flashing in her mind. Had he really loved her once?
“I hate him so much. But I can’t forget him, or leave him behind, no matter how much I try to,” She sighed, allowing herself a small moment of vulnerability. She knew Tilly would listen, even if no one else would. “I know we’re bounded together, but sometimes I hope he dies. I know it’s wrong, because it would kill me too. But maybe that would be better than living out of spite. Ruin his chances of winning this sick game of life out of spite.”
She laughed at the idea, a broken and bitter sound. A sound that was becoming all too familiar to her as of late.
“He hurt me badly. But some days I still hope he comes back,” She admitted, as much as it pained her to do so. She held Tilly’s face in her hands, looking deep into the wolf’s dusky eyes. “Is that really so bad?”
Tilly just stared at her, a look of knowledge far beyond anything Pearl knew deep in her eyes. She licked the brunette’s face, clearly trying to offer sympathy or comfort. And although Pearl’s world was a cold and empty one, the wolf made it a little bit warmer.
When Tilly died, Pearl buried her deep. So deep that she was sure no one could dig it up, so deep that unless you knew where the body was you’d never be able to find it below the soil.
She knelt by the grave, looking down with a blank expression. Tilly didn’t deserve that. The thought echoed in her head, alongside another thought. He deserves that. He deserves every bit of hurt he gets in this life.
Before covering the grave with dirt, and letting Tilly rest, she laid down her heart-shaped locket. It was worn and cracked at this point, the gold looking dull and cloudy. If it had shined once, she knew it never would again. Not where it rest, in the grave with the only creature alive that had showed her love.
And she knew she would never love anybody the same way again. Just as he would never love her.