Chapter Text
This may just be the most preposterous thing I’ve ever agreed to do.
I’m currently standing at the highest point in Elynas, along with about twenty or thirty other people, and in a few minutes, we’re all going to run down to the bottom of the mountain in pursuit of a wheel of cheese.
It’s as deranged as it sounds. Some say it’s tradition, but I have a hard time seeing Fontainians of old doing something so silly. But clearly it has a following. Why else would there be at least twenty people standing at the top of the hill, ready to throw themselves bodily down it, and hundreds more at the sides and bottom of the hill, waiting intently for the chaos to ensue?
(Author’s note: Why am I introducing an English tradition to Fontaine? Fish and chips is why.)
Navia has run down this hill for the last five years in a row. Every year, she shows up at my shop covered in mud, yet somehow she seems to have genuinely enjoyed herself. Last year, she came in with the cheese. She says that means she won.
I hate washing mud out of my clothes, so I’ve come prepared with an outfit I don’t mind potentially getting ruined. It’s not exactly what I’d call fashionable, but even the greatest fashion designer in Fontaine deserves a day off. Of course I’ll still wash it (I would never live it down otherwise) but there’s a chance this outfit will acquire permanent stains. In that case, I might have to recycle it for rags.
I’m still wearing my usual shoes. Other people might think it’s foolish of me to run down this hill wearing heels, but I’ve run down hills wearing heels before.
Still, I’ve never run down a hill this steep before. It will be a task to stay upright.
Navia has chosen to wear her usual clothes. I’ve already told her that I won’t be washing her clothes for her. She was fine with that.
On our way up to the top, I heard Clorinde instructing the patrons to make sure no one got injured. “The cheese is going to be coming down this hill at a hundred and thirty kilometers an hour,” she said. “You are all standing there at your own risk.”
There is a fence separating the audience from the race, but Navia says the cheese has knocked the fence over in past years. Now I’m glad I never came to watch the race. I can’t imagine how humiliating it would be to get knocked in the head by a rampaging cheese wheel. Even watching from the sides would have been risky. There are all sorts of bumps up and down the hill that would allow the cheese to bank off and fly into the crowd.
I’m trying not to look down the hill too much. The more I look, the steeper it seems to get.
Someone comes up the hill, holding a large wheel of cheese. Navia giggles excitedly. I steel my resolve, knowing that it is far too late to change my mind.
The audience are absolute sadists. I can hear them chanting “Cheese! Cheese! Cheese!” as the cheese-bearer reaches the top of the hill.
“ Mesdames et messieurs , please direct your attention to the top of the hill,” Clorinde announces. “The annual Cheese Chase is about to commence.”
The cheese-bearer makes his way to the front of the crowd of racers and motions for us all to get into position. I can hear my heart pounding in my chest. Why am I so nervous? It’s just a silly footrace.
My gaze falls down the hill again.
Oh. Right.
“Three.”
The crowd goes dead quiet.
“Two.”
All the racers get into a running stance.
“One.”
The cheese starts rolling.
“Go!”
I just run. I don’t even think about it. My number one goal is to get to the bottom of the hill. Navia is a good ways in front of the competition, and I can tell she has a calculated plan. And she’s wearing heels too, yet she doesn’t lose her footing once.
How does she do it?
People around me are bum-shuffling. I cannot let that be me. I may have signed up for an extremely silly event, but I’m going to maintain dignity no matter what—
Suddenly, everything is spinning. I’ve lost my footing, and now I’m rolling down the hill.
Through the gasps and cheers, I hear a loud clang in the distance, which must be the sound of a cheese hitting a fence. I can only hope I don’t hit the fence, too.
I manage to spring back up at one point and continue on my feet, but I soon lose my footing again and just go flying. For what seems like an eternity, my entire body is off the ground. Everything seems to stand still. The crowd’s cheers start to sound like they’re underwater. Then time resumes, and I land hard on my back.
It’s a bit like getting tackled by a Mitachurl, but if it did it over and over again in quick succession. Every time my back hits the ground, the air kicks out of my lungs. It’s so fast, I can’t catch my breath at all. The world is spinning around me so fast that it’s all a blur.
Just when I think I can’t take any more, I find myself lying at someone’s feet. The world stops spinning around me. I can breathe again.
“Are you alright?” asks the person who caught me.
I’m trying not to gasp, but my body demands oxygen right now. Once I can slow my breathing down, I say, “I’m never doing that again.”
“That’s fine,” says the person. “Can you stand?”
I slowly get to my feet. Nothing seems to be broken. But my clothes are covered in dirt and grass, and my back hurts. I wouldn’t be surprised if I get a bruise.
I see Navia holding up the cheese. I go and join her. “Did you win again?” I ask.
She beams. “I won! That’s two years in a row.”
“Are you going to make it three next year?”
She’s absolutely giddy with energy, like she drank too much Fonta. “Maybe!”
I spend the better part of the afternoon washing up. Somehow, I get all the mud out of my clothes. I change back into my usual attire and go out to see Navia.
In her kitchen, she has a display of fruit and bread set up on a charcuterie board. The cheese sits proudly in the middle, freshly cut from its festive wrappings.
Before I came to Fontaine, I had never had cheese. And I learned the hard way that some Fontainian cheese has a very strong flavor. Some even had mold in them. On purpose . Suffice it to say, I did not particularly like that .
But this cheese doesn’t appear to have mold. It doesn’t smell too strong either.
Navia cuts a slice of cheese and places it on a slice of bread with an apple wedge on top. I take a small bite. The cheese has a buttery flavor with nutty undertones, and the apple helps balance out the sharp finish.
The bread is good, too. Can’t really go wrong with nice Fontainian bread.
“What are you going to do with all this cheese?” I ask when I’m done eating. “Make lots of Fontainian Onion Soup?”
Navia laughs. “I don’t think I can eat all this cheese on my own. It’s more than three and a half kilos.”
That is a lot of cheese.
“You should give some to Lady Furina,” I suggest, “so she’s not just eating pasta again this week.”
“That’s a pretty good idea!” she says. “Maybe I’ll bring some for the rest of the Tabletop Troupe gang as well.” She divides what’s left of the cheese into five equal portions and wraps each one up in fancy paper and a ribbon.
Wait a minute. Five portions? But there are only four people on Navia’s Tabletop Troupe team: herself, Furina, Lyney, and Clorinde.
I’m about to ask who the fifth portion is for when Navia picks one up and hands it to me.
Oh.
I’m inclined to refuse. I like this cheese, but not that much. What would I even do with it besides put it on bread? But I take it anyway. It doesn’t seem right to leave Navia to eat all of this cheese by herself. And after I basically fell down a hill today, haven’t I earned it?
“Get home safely!” Navia teases me as I head out the door. “Don’t fall down any hills!”
I laugh out loud. Some people on the street give me weird looks. I just roll my eyes at them.
When I get home, I display my portion of the cheese proudly in the front of my refrigerator. For the next couple weeks, when I come here to get a snack, I’ll see it and be reminded of my wild endeavor. I make a note and stick it on the door of the fridge: Buy more bread.
I think back to this afternoon. In retrospect, falling down that hill was terrifying. I didn’t know if I would make it to the bottom safely. All I really remember is rolling uncontrollably and then suddenly stopping.
It was such a relief to know I was alright at the end.
I don’t consider myself the type to charge down hills. But despite it all, I’m glad I did it. This was certainly an experience. I still don’t think I’ll be doing it again, don’t get me wrong, but I never would have had this experience if I’d refused to go with Navia to Elynas today.
Maybe I should say yes to more things and see what happens…