Chapter Text
Paige smiled as she watched Nathan rock back and forth in the kitchen, James in his arms, giggling over the old love song Nathan crooned along with the radio. She still couldn’t quite believe how lucky she had been to meet Nathan on that first day in Haven, now almost six months ago. It was like fate, meeting him. He loved pancakes and cozy mornings where all they did was cuddle in bed. He was shy, the strong and silent type she always fell for. He had always wanted to be a father, and he was wonderful with James, treating him as his own.
Nathan was everything she could have hoped to find in a husband, and Paige loved her new life in Haven. Really, she did. But sometimes… sometimes she felt like she was missing something. Something to explain why the pancakes he made tasted so familiar the first time she had them or why falling in love with him felt like falling for an old friend. Something that would explain why sometimes Nathan nuzzled into her side with such desperation and awe that it was as if he’d never felt another person’s touch. Something to explain why James looked more and more like Nathan as he grew.
Yes, Paige felt like she was missing something so intrinsically important that the lack of knowing ached in her chest, twisting her heart into knots until it threatened to burst with each beat.
It rarely happened when she first arrived, in those early days when people stared at her and stumbled over her name as if they’d never met a single mother and couldn’t wrap their heads around something as simple as ‘Paige.’
It happened more often now.
Most had no issue with her name, but occasionally, someone would slip, even Nathan. They’d call her by another name… What was it? She could never seem to remember after the fact. Still, she could remember being called Agent something-er-other, even though Paige had never been involved in law enforcement… Or had she?
Nathan had left his gun out on the table one day, stripped down as he had been meaning to clean it before the sound of James crying from his crib called him away. Curious and knowing that the gun was currently unloaded, Paige had picked it up. Immediately, a wave of deja vu came over her. She felt stronger with the gun in her hand, confident with the weight and feel of a weapon in her grasp. Without thinking, Paige started cleaning the gun with expert movements, the smell of the solvent familiar and soothing. In record time, she reassembled the firearm, her arms coming up automatically as she tested the sightline.
“Parker?”
Nathan’s voice had Audrey lowering her arms into a more relaxed stance as she turned to look at him. Their eyes met, and her heart jumped into her throat. “Nathan-”
James shrieked where Nathan held him, reaching out and attempting to dive towards his mother. Paige set the gun down quickly and rushed to catch the babe. “Hey, now, don’t scare us like that, tiger!” Paige scolded as she perched him on her hip.
“Hey.” Nathan grabbed her elbow gently, drawing her gaze to him. “Are you…?”
“Am I what?” Paige asked, her brow furrowing as Nathan’s eyes searched hers for something he apparently didn’t see. His eyes were infinitely sad for a moment before the look vanished, replaced by love and understanding that put a smile on her face despite her confusion.
“Are you hungry?” Nathan asked, turning his attention to James as he offered him a finger to grab. “Because James and I are starving. Ain’t that right, big guy? Yes, yes, it is. Woke up from a nap, fussy and hungry…”
Nathan’s admittedly endearing baby talk had Paige rolling her eyes as the bemusing moment blurred away, put out of her mind.