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This Was Not in the Brochure by Lightan117
Fandoms: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
25 Nov 2025
Tags
Summary
Two roommates. One very shady pilot. One of us kind of knows what she’s doing. And a one-way ticket to Not-New-Zealand.
This was not in the brochure.
There was supposed to be wine tasting. Maybe a sheep or two. A relaxing vacation to get over our real-life disasters.
Instead, we got:
A flaming death plane
A maybe-dead pilot
Bilbo Baggins offering us tea
Thorin Oakenshield glaring at us like we’re the problem
Kili being way too charming for anyone’s safety
And absolutely no way home.We’re handling it great. Totally not falling in love or emotionally unraveling or anything like that. Nope. Not us.
