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1. This Was Not in the Brochure by Lightan117

   Fandoms: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types  

   • Mature
   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • F/M
   • Work in Progress

   25 Nov 2025

   Tags

   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • Thorin Oakenshield/Original Female Character(s)
   • Kíli (Tolkien)/Original Female Character(s)
   • Fíli (Tolkien)
   • Óin (Tolkien)
   • Glóin (Tolkien)
   • Bifur (Tolkien)
   • Bofur (Tolkien)
   • Bombur (Tolkien)
   • Ori (Tolkien)
   • Nori (Tolkien)
   • Bilbo Baggins
   • Bard the Bowman (Tolkien)
   • Gandalf (Tolkien)
   • Galadriel (Tolkien)
   • Dwalin (Tolkien)
   • Balin (Tolkien)
   • Dori (Tolkien)
   • Tauriel (Hobbit Movies)
   • Thranduil (Tolkien)
   • Azog (Tolkien)
   • Alternate Universe – Modern Character(s) in Middle-earth
   • Canon Divergence – Pre-Quest
   • Isekai (But Make It Accidentally Hilarious)
   • crack-fic
   • Found Family
   • Slow Burn Romance (eventually)
   • Mutual Pining (eventually)
   • Angst with a Side of Tea
   • Chaotic Good Protagonists
   • Everyone Is Confused Except the Girls
   • No One Knows What’s Going On and That’s Fine
   • Bilbo Baggins Is So Tired
   • Friends to Lovers
   • Love confessions under duress
   • Touch-Starved characters
   • He falls first but she falls harder
   • Longing Looks and Lingering Touches
   • Jealousy? Jealousy
   • grumpy x sunshine
   • Dwarves in Love Are Intense and Confused
   • Sorry Not Sorry
   • EVERYONE LIVES AND NO ONE DIES!
   • Fix-It Ending

   Summary

   Two roommates. One very shady pilot. One of us kind of knows what she’s doing. And a one-way ticket to Not-New-Zealand.

   This was not in the brochure.

   There was supposed to be wine tasting. Maybe a sheep or two. A relaxing vacation to get over our real-life disasters.

   Instead, we got:
   A flaming death plane
   A maybe-dead pilot
   Bilbo Baggins offering us tea
   Thorin Oakenshield glaring at us like we’re the problem
   Kili being way too charming for anyone’s safety
   And absolutely no way home.

   We’re handling it great. Totally not falling in love or emotionally unraveling or anything like that. Nope. Not us.

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   24,763

   Chapters:

   7/?

   Comments:

   21

   Kudos:

   54

   Bookmarks:

   16

   Hits:

   667