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Part 1: The Graduation Dance Dilemma
On a rainy Saturday morning in early April, 17-year-old Henry Lasso was celebrating with his teammates at a restaurant near their school. They had won 2nd place in the South England region competition for robotics. Between Henry and his buddy Albert Hedger-Playce , they brought the team from an Honorable Mention the year before to 2nd place. The graduating boys started talking about the graduation formal while munching on pretzels, chicken wings, and chips. What they were going to wear, getting a limo, where to go after. Henry was having a blast! He couldn’t believe he had made it to this stage in his life. Seven years ago, things were so different.
Some things were the same – a buttload of air miles, only this time, in the other direction. His dad made sure that his mother and grandmother flew first class, therefore it was a more comfortable experience, and so they came over more often.
“Hey, Lasso, who are you taking to the dance?” asked “Hedge”. “I'm taking Jessica Morton-Baker,” he announced proudly.
“Oh-what-a-big-trust-fund-I’ve-got-Jessica? That’s cool. I totally want her handling my money when she graduates college. She can get a quid out of every 50p.”
That set the boys laughing. Apparently, Hedge’s future date was a future banker. “But what about you? Oooh, Nina Jones likes you! She’s Welsh, but she’s hilarious.”
Henry laughed. He liked hanging out with Nina. She was the class comedian. (Rumor has it that she is related to a famous Welsh singer named Jones, but he hasn’t asked, and she hasn’t told.) One time, she pulled an “Odysseus” on Jamie Stone, a student who fancied himself a bully. She told him her name was “Nobody”, then she kicked him in the knackers. He went around yelling “Nobody kicked me! Nobody kicked my knackers!” The other kids were laughing and recording his hysterics on their cell phones.
Another hour passed of party plans and food disappearing off the table. Eventually, parents started taking their kids home. Henry got a ride home from Hedge and his mother, one of their chaperones. After thanking her and saying “Laters” to his friend, he ran up the sidewalk to his house, throwing the door open and calling for his father.
“Dad! I’m home! Dad!”
“In the office!”
Ted was in his home office with Beard and Roy. They were standing around a large whiteboard, drinking coffee, and talking about tomorrow’s match with Nottingham Forest.
“Well???” said Ted, “How did it go? How did you all do?”
Henry pulled his medal out of his backpack and held it up to the men. “2nd place! 25 points ahead of 3rd place and two points below 1st place!”
“Whoah! Come here!” Ted went to hug Henry and picked him up like he was still a little kid! Henry laughed, a little embarrassed, but happy, and slapped his father's shoulders to let him down.
“Dad! Don’t do that! Not in front of the guys!” he whined.
Henry handed Beard the medal so the men could look at it.
“Well, Henry, you have certainly made your place at school. You must be feeling pretty good.”
“Yeah,” growled Roy. “Great job, Little Lasso.”
“Thanks, guys. Now I just gotta get ready for graduation and the dance.”
“Dance?” Ted’s eyebrows shot up, hope building in his heart.
Henry’s face went from a smile to a frown. “Yeah,” he groused a little, “I gotta take someone to the graduation dance.”
Ted went a little weak from excitement. His little boy was graduating and going to his first formal! His heart felt like it was going to burst!
“Well, tell you what, we’ll get the Diamond Dogs together and ...”
“uh...wait...dad...” Henry suddenly felt awkward.
“We’ll get you a suit, get you some dance lessons...”
“DAD!”
Wisely, Beard and Roy just stepped back closer to the whiteboard.
“What?”
“No offense, but I kinda need a ...well... you know... a lady’s point of view.”
“A la...Ooooooohhh I hear ya. And we know just which lady, don’t we.”
“Yeah. Do you think Rebecca will help me?”
“Of course she will! Let me finish here with the boys, and then we’ll call her. Why don’t you go find a special place for that medal.”
“Great. Thanks, dad. No offense, guys.”
Roy and Beard both nodded, agreeing, “no problem,” “forget about it.”
“...and call your mom and grandma!” Ted called out to his son's retreating form.
Part 2: The Plan... pLan... plAn... plaN
Deadpool and Wolverine was on streaming the following evening, so Henry and Ted were watching while munching away out of foil containers of Chinese food. Used napkins and dripping glasses of soda were spread out on the coffee table as they talked through the movie with their mouths full. Henry laughed heartily when Ted’s cell phone rang as he watched his dad scramble to find the phone while not knocking everything to the floor.
He finally found it under the tray of rice, and only some of it fell to the floor.
“Yello.”
“Ted? Are you busy?”
“Oh, hi boss! How’s things?”
“Good, good. I remembered on the way home that Henry wanted to talk to me. Is he there?”
“Yeah! He would like some advice from someone who knows a little something about dressing up to make an impression.”
Rebecca gave a pleased smirk. “Oh really? Hang on...let me just...” She put the call on video. “Put him on video.”
“Yes ma’am.” After going to video, Ted added, “hey boss, thanks for talking to Henry. You were the first person he thought of when he told me he was going to need some advice.”
Rebecca went wide-eyed. “Really? Oh, that’s lovely! Henry? Are you there?”
An auburn-haired boy appeared on screen. “Hi Rebecca! I’m glad you called!”
“My pleasure, Henry. What can I help you with?”
“Okay, well...our school...the thing is...that is...”
Rebecca’s eyebrows went up – both of them. “Henry...?”
“I wanna ask a girl to the dance, but I don’t want her to think it’s something... like... you know...”
“Are you saying you want to go as friends?”
“Yeah! Exactly.”
(Ted had taken their mess to the kitchen, but he was listening to every word.)
“Can you come over on Friday?”
“Friday? Probably, yeah.” Henry craned his neck to look at his dad who was nodding “yes.”
“Yeah, I can go.”
“Excellent.”
* * * *
Ted and Henry took an UBER to Rebecca’s house on Friday night. She and Jelka welcomed them in with big smiles and showed them to the living room. Henry and Jelka did their little minute-long slappy/punchy/snappy handshake-greeting-thing that Isaac had taught them last year.
“Coach Lasso, would you and Henry like something to drink?” asked Jelka enthusiastically. “We have tea and fruit punch.”
“Yeah, fruit punch sounds good,” said Henry, snuggling into a big armchair by the fireplace.
“Nothin’ for me, Miss Jelka. Where’s your dad today?” he asked.
“Milan!” exclaimed Jelka.
“Yes, that lucky bastard,” Rebecca grinned. “He knows I love Milan for shopping.”
She turned to the young man trying to smush himself into the chair. “So Henry, how do you want to do this?”
“Uh...well, like I said, my school has a formal next month. I wanna ask a...uh... friend of mine...to go ...uh...with me. But – like – you know – like friends. Nothing weird. Like I don’t want to make a big deal out of it. You know?
Rebecca’s eyes grew a bit misty. She released a soft gasp and crossed her hands at her chest.
“Oh Ted!” she whispered, getting emotional. “You’re baby...”
Having already lived this moment with his father, Uncle Beard, his mother, and his grandmother, Henry could only roll his eyes with all the intensity of a teenager.
“...his first formal!”
“Yeah,” Ted affirmed proudly. “I think I’m more excited about it than he is.”
“Why do you need help to ask Phoebe to go with you?” Jelka, not wanting to be left out, asked like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Phoeb...!” Henry sputtered awkwardly, suddenly sitting up straight. “I never said Phoebe! What makes you think it’s Phoebe!”
Jelka shrugged her shoulders and looked around at the adults with an expression on her face like “Duh! Of course it’s Phoebe.”
Ted and Rebecca were smiling so hard, Henry just wanted to slap them.
Oh my God, everybody knows. I’m doomed.
Already looking pained, he muttered, “What if she doesn’t say yes?”
“Hey, she’s your friend. She might say yes,” Ted assured him.
“Yeah, but if she doesn’t, I’ll feel weird after.”
Jelka snapped her fingers. “I can ask her for you!”
“NO! Jelka, you better not say anything to her! And don’t tell Nora either! You know how they are!”
“But I want to do something!” she added, feeling a little deflated.
Ted interceded quickly. “Miss Jelka, sweetie, your heart is in the right place, but Henry needs to do this himself.
She did something she had not done in years: she stomped her foot and huffed. She was impatient for them to stop wasting time and let her do it her way – the fast and efficient way.
With the cutest, but realest scowl on her face, she crossed her arms. “Fine. My way is faster, but whatever.”
Henry felt bad at snapping at his little friend. She was so smart, it was hard to remember that she was three years younger than him. He went over and dropped his arm around her shoulders. “Tell you what, ‘Baby Yoda’, you can help me pick a corsage. Ask her what kind of flowers she likes, okay?”
“Okay. But what do I say if she asks me why?”
“I dunno. Think of something. But do not mention me!!!”
“ sigh... okay.”
Ted rubbed his hands together then wiggled his fingers. “Rebecca, could we use your fairy godmother powers? Hen needs a suit. Should he bring Phoebe a corsage or a wrist one? What do English people do in these situations?”
“Ooh, I’ll call Vangie to ask her.”
Henry jumped in. “Wait! Her mom? But...”
“Henry, don’t you worry about anything. I can assure you that Phoebe’s mother will help us AND not give it away,” assured Rebecca, wagging her finger at him.
“Well, okay...if you’re sure,” he said faintly, still not convinced that the whole thing would not blow up in his face.
“Of course I’m sure!”
Part 3: Pretty Woman , except it’s Henry.
The following week, Rebecca took Henry to her tailor’s to get him a suit made for the dance, one for graduation, and a summer-weight suit for when he went to Kansas for the summer. By the end of the week, his head was spinning at what it takes to dress like a man. Shirts, collars, buttons, ties, belts, socks, shoes. Rebecca took him to cut his hair, and God help him – if the guys at school found out – or God forbid – NINA JONES found out -- he was a dead man – a mani-pedi . He was horrified at everything, but Rebecca kept assuring him that he needed to make a good impression so that he would only have to ask once.
One evening while Ted and Henry were eating spaghetti and watching The IT Crowd on Netflix , he got a call from Matthijs.
“Hey Matt, how you doin’? You in town?” Ted shuffled around the coffee table as Henry took their glasses to the kitchen for refills.
“Hallo, Ted. Yes, I just had a couple of flights to Ireland today, so I am having my first normal evening in several days.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean. Any time I can leave the office by 5 is a good day. So what’s on your mind?”
“I hope it is okay. Jelka and Rebecca told me about how they’re helping Henry. I was thinking about having a cookout on Sunday. I could invite Evangeline and Phoebe. You and Henry could come over and, well, you know... as Keeley likes to say, whatever happens, happens.”
“Hmmmm...” Ted thought for a minute, rubbing his moustache. “Hang on a sec... HENRY!
“WHAT!”
“YOU WANNA GO TO MATT AND REBECCA’S FOR A BARBECUE ON SUNDAY!”
“YEAH”
“OKAY!”
Ted returned to Matthijs, who had been holding his cell away from his ear.
“Okay, Matt. We’ll be there.”
Mission Get-Henry-A-Date is GO!
Part 4: Zero Hour
Matthijs and Rebecca’s cookout was in active mode. Matthijs was grateful for the cloudy, but so-far dry weather. He and Beard were talking at the grill while he monitored burger patties, chicken, and sausages. Henry, Phoebe, Jelka and Terry Higgins were sitting on the edge of the garden’s water fountain talking about summer plans and generally ribbing each other. Jelka and Terry were trying to make up their own handshake.
“Anyone want refills?” asked Henry, still working up the courage to ask Phoebe to the dance after more than an hour at the gathering. Jelka kept giving him the stinkeye, trying to send him a message to get it done already.
It was hard. All the adults were giving him side-eye, too. He didn’t like this pressure. In the kitchen, refilling his and Terry’s glasses, he took a deep breath and mustered up whatever courage he could.
Back at the fountain, the others were laughing hysterically at something Terry had said. With no thoughts in his brain whatsoever, he blurted out, “Hey Phoebs, you wanna come to my school dance with me?”
Phoebe, caught completely off-guard and utterly unprepared for such a question, sprayed Henry’s face with her lemonade! Henry looked like she felt, face and hair dripping as Phoebe coughed for air. Jelka and Terry – for the first time that day, were silent with jaws dropped and eyes wide.
Part 5: At the Dance
The ballroom for the school dance was buzzing that Saturday night in late May. Chaperoning parents stood like pillars at strategic spots around the room. Kids were queueing up for drinks and finger foods on one side, photos on the opposite side. In the middle, boys and girls were dancing with partners and groups. Many of the girls, wearing high heels for the first time, hung on to their partner’s arms as they tried to stay upright. It was beautiful and perfect.
Hedge and Jessica were tearing it up on the dance floor while Nina Jones and her date cheered them on. (She had a flask of her father’s whiskey taped to her thigh. She and some of the girls were going to drink it in the bathroom later.)
Henry was outside the girls’ bathroom. He was relaxed. Sort of. Yes, relaxed was a good word. Everything was fine. He was fine. He was not nervous. At all.
Phoebe walked out, having gone in to touch up her hair and makeup before going to their table. She also needed to re-pin her corsage – 3 yellow roses arranged with ribbons in his school colors – maroon and gold. Her hair was braided in a herringbone style that draped over her shoulder. Her mother had cut a fringe in the front to softly frame her face.
Henry looked at her and stopped breathing for a minute. She had always been nice-looking, but tonight she looked extra... like... just ...wow! He pulled himself up to his full 5’7” and crooked his arm for her to take it. That’s what Rebecca said he should do. Phoebe smiled her brilliant smile at him and curled her arm through his. Between his navy suit and her peach dress, they made a striking pair.
* * *
(Flashback)
Henry was terrified he’d messed up when Phoebe, after spitting her drink in his face and coughing, told him that she’d let him know. All he could do was mutter, “okay,” and hustle off to the kitchen to get a towel to dry himself off. The rest of the afternoon, no one brought the topic up again. He did notice that she and Jelka disappeared for a while.
Embarrassed and excited at the same time, Phoebe apologized profusely to Henry for spraying him with her drink. She then grabbed Jelka’s hand, and they hightailed it inside the house. In Jelka’s room, she called Nora, and the three girls freaked out together over what had just happened. Nora told Phoebe to make him wait a bit.
“But I want to say yes. What if he asks someone else?”
Jelka just rolled her eyes like “yeah, right.”
In the end, Phoebe took two days so that she could look at dresses. Then, her mother took her to Ted’s house. While the grownups were in the kitchen chatting over coffee, Phoebe showed Henry a picture of her dress and told him yes, she’d go with him.
* * * *
Talking with the other parents at the dance, Ted was telling EVERYONE how his son was copying his playbook in the robotics team – bringing a team up from the bottom to the top. His heart was so full, as was his cell phone from the dozens of pics he took of his boy and his peach of a date. He noticed that they had not stopped holding hands most of the night.