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The walls so high and you
Won't feel
That moment before awaking, early in the morning, was always a void in Kurt’s life. Ever since he was a child, waking up from a cold sleep was like from pure darkness to a sudden flood of emotion and light, like emerging from deep, deadly water, after a near drown, the water drenching you and suffocating you from both breathing and sensation.
Now with Logan, he forgot that.
The Moon is always spying on
Your fears
That feeling, the feeling of the drowning. The icy embrace of death and fear surrounding you completely. It would envelop his body, and awake those demons deep within him.
Sometimes, he would wonder if Logan felt these demons too, crawling deep within him like a worm, a disease or some sort of infection.
I make it to the golden gate
And fail
“Hey, elf,” a voice came through the smothering darkness, bringing his mind away from this unusual fantasy.
“Elf… Wake up,”
There was some sort of sensation that the German felt, a fingernail or a fingertip, running its way along his lower back. It dug under his fur, and pressed in the right ways, sending ripples of comfort up his spine and to his head. It was like a life line, pulling him up and out the water.
So, then, you throw your fantasy away
To fate
He rustled around under the covers, turning in his sleep to face the intruding hand. He mumbled loudly, alerting Logan he was now awake.
“C’mon, darl’,” the Canadian purred, his face close to Kurt’s, pressed up against his pillow and breathing warm air into his ear. He wished he could stay here all day, just him and Logan whispering and breathing against each other in the quiet cold morning.
“I’m getting up, get out of my ear…”
Logan chuckled, and pulled away. Kurt could feel the dip in the mattress vanish as he slowly stood up.
Oh and I take
Take it in vain
So, I fake
Fake it again
Kurt rolled over in bed, straining as the light through the curtains disturbed his light sleep.
“Breakfast is in ten, I take it you’re coming?” Logan mumbled, now standing in front of the cabinet mirror, running a comb through the back of his wild bed hair.
“Of course.”
Couldn't I
Not take it in vain?
Oh
Couldn't I
Not fake it again?
Can't I
Not take it in pain?
Oh
Can't I
Not fake it again?
Kurt waited a few moments, for the older mutant to leave, before finally sitting up in their bed. He patted down his fur, and his curls, and felt himself dozing off again, watching his tail flick to and fro in content feeling.
He never actually considered much how little he was dreaming nowadays, there was never any night terrors. As a child, he dreamt of being chased by the devil’s demons, slightly resembling him at times. They would pull him into the darkness, suffocating him and screaming that he was a monstrosity, an abomination. Plus, whilst he was raised by his father to not hate himself, the thoughts were still always there, deep down.
But, no memories of these came across his mind at this moment, only pleasant and loving thoughts. He could hear the slight bustle outside as various students were scrambling out their dorm rooms for a late breakfast, and he could hear the throaty laugh of Hank as Logan left the room. It was a wonderful life. Something so simple made him so happy, so content with himself and what he was doing.
It was never just that though, just the fact he was with Logan, he knew he would never had to chase away a night demon ever again. He knew he was loved, he felt beautiful, elegant and perfect when he was with his Canadian lover. Logan was handsome and rough, many of the other mutants found it difficult to put up with his tough attitude, but Kurt only embraced it. The most Logan closed himself away from the world, the more he wanted to open him up and be a part of his world. He sometimes believed he was the luckiest man in the world now that they were together, and he didn’t even care how many people just thought it was a fling or something, something that Logan would do to waste away the time, as it was so worthless to him now, with his almost immortality.
Kurt shrugged to himself, brushing away those over complicated thoughts from the front of his mind. He ported up off the bed and to his and Logan’s shared cabinet, to which he quickly brushed down most of his fur, and slipped on one of Logan’s plaid shirts, not caring that it was too big for his much smaller form.
I've sent my heart away
Like heroes in the rain
He brought the sleeve up to his nose, inhaling deeply. It smelt just like everything of Logan’s did. It smelt like cigars, petrol and years of motorbike gas. But, even after the short time they’ve been together, it also began to smell of Kurt too.
Kurt looked up at the clock, realising that breakfast was in five minutes. He buttoned up the rest of the shirt, slipping on a pair of shorts underneath it, before porting out the bedroom and into the commotion of the institute’s kitchen.
FIN