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**This fic takes places in Chapter 6, The Ghoul in Pajamas, The Deathly Hallows.**
(The first half will be written in Ron’s POV and the second will be in Hermione’s POV)
The kitchen that evening was so packed with people it was even difficult to maneuver knives and forks. Ron found himself seated between his father and Bill, listening to the people at his table criticizing the Ministry intensely. Through the majority of dinner time, his focused on finishing the slice of apple tart in his plate, occasionally raising his head to join in the conversation. Meanwhile, he stole some inadvertent glances towards Hermione’s direction, which was located at the other end of the long table. She didn’t talk much, simply eating her dinner quietly. To be honest, Hermione hadn’t talked quite a lot after they arrived at the Burrow a few days ago, as Ron had noticed. She looked up once in a while, appearing to be paying attention to the subject, slightly wincing at the mention of Mad-Eye’s death. but Ron spotted the obscured distraction in her expression that clearly suggested him that she have something else on her mind.
After dinner, Ron dragged himself upstairs due to Mrs. Weasley’s order of cleaning his bedroom. Of course he’s not gonna do it, obviously, he had been through enough these few days. He, Hermione and Harry were completely drowned in all the preparations for the wedding. All the jobs his mother handed out, Ron noticed, were keeping three of them away from each other, and they hadn’t got a single chance to be together alone and talk. Seeing his mother’s unreasonable motive made him feel exasperated. What does she think we’ll do if we can get by ourselves, blow up the house? Ron silently fumed.
He closed the door with a bit more force than necessary. Walking towards his bedroom window through the messy floor, Ron gazed down at view outside. The sunset dyeing the sky with the hue of red, pink and orange, distant houses scattered on nearby hills glowing faintly under the dim lights. Their garden seemed unusually quiet without the existence of screeching Gnomes, the refreshing smell of freshly-mowed grass drifting in the air around.
Dropping himself onto the bed, Ron’s mind started to wander. Hermione’s uneasy state had clearly effected him. He could not control himself to constantly think about her. He was able to be alone with her for about a fraction of a second yesterday at the laundry room. They had a short conversation on Horcruxes before Mrs. Weasley rushed into the room to inform Ron that Bill needed assistance from his to clean ou the Gnomes in the yard.
Hermione.
She had always been an unsolved problem for him, always. Although he tried in vain to convince himself again and again that he feels nothing more than friends towards her, fruitless denial gave way to the blazing emotions deep in his heart. And ever since he had been crystal clear about his own feelings towards her, Ron had been hiding it, keeping it as a secret that he only allows himself to know. Inescapable voices kept haunting his mind.
She deserves someone better than you......
She dated Viktor Krum......
She will never choose you whenever Harry’s around......
Ron sat up on his bed and buried his face in his hands. Low-self-esteem had always intimidated him. Of course, seldom he thought that he caught some words or expressions from Hermione that suggested him she might feels something towards him also, but he always forced himself to cut of the thoughts before letting them expand in his mind,not allowing himself to have any false hope. All he was able to do was to take care of her as much as possible. And of course he had made stupid decisions, last year with Lavender was a great example. However way he had loathed himself for not having the courage to end things with her himself, he felt free and relaxed after the breakup. He had never expected, or even dared hope that Hermione would feel the same towards him.
Had Ron ever tried to give up on his feelings? God of course he had. For countless times he had brainwashed himself to cut off his feelings to Hermione with self-criticizing words. But whenever he saw her again, making notes attentively in class, occasionally biting on her quill, or giving wise advises to Harry or himself, all self-numbing attempts simply crumbles right in spot, leaving him with nothing but love so strong that cannot be ignored. Yes, love. Not like, not fancy, love.
Fuck, she’s driving me mad. Ron cursed under his breath.
Mrs. Weasley had clearly forgot that she asked Hermione and Ginny to change the sheets, for she did not seem to even notice when Hermione slipped up the stairs. Hermione had seen through her plans of keeping she, Harry and Ron apart from the start. She understood Mrs. Weasley’s worries for them, but they weren’t even able to talk to one another alone these days and this just won’t work out for her, and she is going to take advantage of this moment.
As quietly as she could, Hermione went up to hers and Ginny’s bedroom first. Grabbing a handful of heavy books in her hand, she gestured Crookshanks, who was curled up cozily at the corner, to follow her. The ginger cat purred in reluctance, but grudgingly followed suit.
As she knocked on the attic bedroom door with difficulty, she heard Ron’s panicking voice, “Oi! I’m doing it! I’m cleaning......oh, it’s you.” Ron stood up to held the door for her, blushing slightly as she entered the room. Looking down at the messy floor, Hermione asked, “Your mom told you to clean the room right?” “Well yeah but, she not gonna come up and check, right? I mean when she so busy right now. Besides, I really just wanna chill for a bit.” He took the heavy books from her hands into his own strong arms and carried them over the room with ease, “How did you manage to get away?” Hermione plopped herself down onto a clear space on the floor, “Well, your mom forgot that she asked me and Ginny to change the sheets.” Crookshanks curled up at her feet, purring. “So then I thought I’d come up with you two. I mean, we haven’t got a chance to talk alone for a while and I also want to sort out some books. For the Horcrux hunting, you know.”
She knew it would take a while for Harry to come up, so she was expecting to be alone with Ron at first. They haven’t been alone together like this for a long time. Deep in her heart, she thought she knew how Ron feels towards her. Although at some point his actions had made her doubted it . But his concern and protection for had always been nothing but evident.
Her gaze landed on Ron’s tall figure, who was now sitting on his bed, both large hands on the mattress behind himself, staring at the bright orange Chudley Canon posters on the wall. His broad shoulders stretched under the fabric of his T-shirt, solid and strong. His ginger red hair glowing under the warm light, a bit long and frizzy. Unexpected by Hermione, Ron turned his head and their gaze met in mid-air. They both blushed deeply and looked away quickly.
“So, erm......” Ron looked at her books piled on the ground with an uncertain expression, “You are really planning on dropping out? I mean, to hunt for the Horcruxes with Harry, I know school’s been really important for you and......”
But before he could finish his sentence, Hermione cut him off,
“Yes.”
Her voice was firm, and when her brown eyes met with Ron’s blue ones, she saw the same resolution written in his eyes. But there was something more than that, it was......
“Hermione, I understand your feelings, and I bloody swear I feel the same thing. But I’m.......I’m just worried about you, if you get hurt......”
“I really don’t care right now!”
Self-control crumbling away, the long-suppressed emotions gushing out like a flood, Hermione burst into tears.
“Oh fuck,” Ron scramble up from the bed, rushing towards her before kneeling down at her side and taking her small body into his arms. Hands slightly trembling from desperation as he unfolded a napkin and handed it to Hermione, “I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything like that.”
She wiped her tears, “No need to apologize, Ronald. It’s just......I never told you about this but......” She hiccuped a little as she tried hard to steadied her voice, “I really done a lot for the preparation for our hunt, as you know, the books and researches and everything......But I also modified my parents’ memories.”
Ron’s eyes went blank,
“You what?”
As though encouraging herself to gather up her thoughts, Hermione took in a deep breath, “Yes. I erased all by parents’ memories, only about me, of course, so that I can make sure the Death Eaters can’t get anything out of them. And to keep them a hundred percent safe, I...” A tear trickled down the side of her face, Ron gently wiped it away and patted reassuringly on her waist, “I made them believe that all they wanted to do is to move to Australia, which they already did. Wendell and Monica Wilkins don’t know that they had a daughter, you see?”
There was a moment of silence.
Both of them stayed still, Ron still holding Hermione in his arms. Hermione feel like she never wanted to move again, Ron’s long strong arms around her made her feel so safe, so at peace.
To be honest, she never gave up on Ron, and she always had a feeling that he might feel the same. Heart pounding, she swallowed down the urge to blurt out to him what she felt, but this is not the moment.
The bedroom door banged open, and they jumped apart from one another,
“Oi! I’m doing it! I’m doing...oh, Harry!”
Harry stepped into the room, clearly amused by Ron reaction to his entrance just now.
“Hi Harry.” said Hermione as Harry sat down on his camp bed.
She knew that they have time to talk now, and she and Ron would make it clear to Harry their determination to come with him to the Horcrux hunt. As for her other concerns, she stole a quick glance at Ron, she will worry about them after everything’s solved.