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Vincent felt like the air in the room was thin. His eyes felt like they were going to fall out of his head. Ray’s voice was indecipherable in his brain.
A hand on his shoulder had him jumping in his seat. He stifled a whimper as his head gave a throb at the action. Vincent looked up into Ray’s worried eyes.
“Holy Father, are you alright?”
Vincent focused so hard on Ray’s words that it took him a second to respond.
“I-I am alright, Ray…pl-please continue
He tried to make his words concise, but he knew he failed when Ray’s brow furrowed.
“Your Holiness, I think I am going to call Eminence Lawrence. You don’t look okay.”
Vincent frowned. That was the last thing he wanted. He hated bothering Thomas, as he knew the man had already done so much for him.
“Ray, I told you I am…” Vincent stopped talking. His eyes went wide. One hand came to cover his mouth as he tried to control his breathing.
It was either that or throwing up all over his desk and subsequently Ray.
“That’s it. I am getting Thomas.”
Vincent had no argument left in him.
He opened his eyes slowly. His room was dark, and there was absolutely no noise. The softness of his bed and duvet almost lulled him back to sleep, but he knew that he wasn’t alone.
Vincent turned his head, taking in Thomas’s sleeping figure. The younger man pleasantly noticed that the aching pain was gone. With a heavy hand, he reached out towards Thomas, tapping his fingertips lightly against the man’s cheek. Thomas always woke up with a jolt, which he did then. The younger man snickered as Thomas came to.
The older man turned his head, his eyes a little worried, before they calmed.
“How long have you been awake?” Thomas’s voice was rough with sleep, which made Vincent give an involuntary shiver.
“Not long…I didn’t want to wake you, mi amor, but I was just wondering what exactly happened.” Vincent didn’t want to add that he was also a greedy, greedy man who couldn’t get enough of Thomas when he had him.
Thomas moved slowly towards Vincent, who got the hint and moved closer to Thomas. They eventually met in the middle as Thomas wrapped an arm around Vincent. The younger man lay his head on Thomas’s chest.
When they first came together, Thomas had been unusually bony even for someone his age. That changed quickly as Vincent took extra care in making sure that Thomas was eating and sleeping properly. Now the man even works out regularly, something that’s a welcome sight for Vincent.
Strong arms brought him closer somehow as Thomas’s chest vibrated with his voice.
“You had a migraine... particularly bad one this time. When Ray informed me and we got you to bed…you barely wanted to move. The doctor said that you needed a dark room and some rest.”
Vincent hated how Thomas’s voice grew more worried as he spoke. He rubbed his hand comfortably into Thomas’s chest until the tension that he felt there eased.
“How long have I been out?” His voice was soft, but he was dreading the answer.
Thomas sighed, “You slept through the whole day. It’s currently 3 am. Aldo, Ray, and I were able to take care of everything.”
Vincent groaned, burrowing his head further into Thomas’s smooth skin.
“I did not want that to happen.”
He didn’t miss the way that Thomas’s arms tightened around him. The man’s voice came out a little too frustrated.
“But it did, Vincent. You ran yourself ragged.”
Silence followed afterwards, and guilt ran strongly through Vincent’s body. He was so guilty that he couldn’t lift his head to look at Thomas.
“Are you mad at me?” he tried to make his voice nonchalant, but he knew he missed his mark. It just sounded pathetic to his ears.
Thomas didn’t say anything for a moment, then Vincent could feel him moving. A soft kiss landed on Vincent’s head as Thomas gave a short grunt a second later, the Dean’s head landing back on the pillow.
“I am not mad. I could never be mad at you,” Thomas’s voice sounded adorably annoyed, “just frustrated that you didn’t ask for help. You help me enough, my dear Vincent, I want to do that for you. That’s what two people do when they are….together.”
Vincent pursed his lips. He knew what Thomas wanted to say, the word he wanted to use.
Married.
Because that’s what it felt like, their relationship, the two of them together, living here in the Casa Santa Mara. Vincent wanted to carry Thomas’s burdens and joy. He wanted to bind their souls together.
He wanted to be Thomas’s holy wife, dressed in white and loving him for all eternity.
It pleased him so that Thomas wanted the same thing even if they were too afraid to talk about it now.
“I feel sometimes…being here…has caused me to be complacent in my work. I know God has willed me to take up the mantle of leading our Church, but signing documents and holding meetings is not enough! It’s not how I came to be…me.” Vincent’s voice trailed off. His hand moved up and down Thomas’s chest, trying to ground himself.
Thomas hummed, “that’s why you were trying to handle more?”
“Yes…” Vincent paused, his voice growing quieter, “I just want my title as Pope to mean something.”
Thomas’s hand moved to lay in his hair, running his long fingers through the thick strands.
“My dear, you already mean so much to people in the world just by existing. Your papacy has inspired billions. And if you want to do more, then bring it up to us-the Curia. Not be crude, my Vincent, but you are the Holy Father, we are kind of forced to listen to you,” Thomas’s voice was light, trying to make Vincent laugh. He knew he succeeded when he heard giggles that vibrated against his chest.
“Just promise me that you’ll take care of yourself and let me help you as you help me.”
Vincent wanted to marry this man.
“Okay, okay, mi amor, I’ll agree to your request, only if you tell me any gossip you have heard about that I missed.”
Vincent waited until Thomas thought of something good. He had trained Thomas to be a good chismoso; their favorite pastime before bed was going over everything that happened that day while they were apart.
“Well, my dear, prepare for Ray to ask for a vacation.”
Vincent raised his head, his eyes excited, “Really? And where is the good Monsignor going?”
“That’s the good part…apparently, Giulio has extended an invitation to Milan and Ray has accepted.”
“So are they serious? Are we going to have another secret illicit couple in our club?”
An exasperated expression crossed Thomas’s face, “If they haven’t yet, this vacation might be what pushes them over the edge.”
Vincent laid his head back down on Thomas’s chest. He felt happiness explode inside his chest.
“Then I’ll just have to let him go…I can’t have my children left wanting.”
Thomas barked out a laugh.