Archive of Our Own

Chapter 1

He had been charming. Nice. Kind.

Never could I have guessed, that the man in front of me had been a frickin’ vampire.

But here I was. Tied to a chair in some cabin in the woods – prepared to die.

If only he had planned on killing me.

“Okay, darling. Let’s get to business.”, he said and walked over to me, “I’m going to make you into something better than yourself.”

My face fell, but I couldn’t speak. I just watched in horror as he grabbed a knife from the table and turned to me. For a second, I guessed that he would slit my throat. But he didn’t. Instead, he made a deep cut on his own palm. Then he gave me a wicked smile.

“No! Please, don’t!”, I screamed, but my hands were tied up.

And then, two things happened at once:

First, my next scream was muffled because he pressed his bloody hand over my mouth. I tried to fight it, but there was no air. I swallowed his blood and the taste of copper hung in my mouth, making me sick. And at the very same time the door flung open with a loud crash.

“Get away from her!”, a man shouted and the vampire (who had been calling himself Dave to me but that was probably a lie) turned to face the two men that had entered. I had been expecting the police, but they were dressed normally, long machetes in their hands. Who the hell were those guys?

From the room next door, two more men (vampires, judging from their teeth) stormed inside and charged at the guys with the machetes. Dave threw a last smile at me and quickly left through the door behind me, while the two men brutally cut off the heads of the two vampires in front of me.

When their lifeless (and headless) bodies fell to the floor, the two men looked at me.

“Any more of them?”, the blonde one asked.

“I don’t know.”, I shakily answered.

The taller one came to me and started to cut me free, while the other one took a look around the other room where the vampires had come from. But after a second, he came back and looked a little bit more relaxed now.

“Thank you for saving my life.”, I smiled weakly and looked at them, “Who are you?”

The tall one had finished freeing me and smiled at me. “My name is Sam and this is my brother Dean. It’s kind of our job to hunt monsters. Are you y/n?”

“How do you know my name?”

“We were looking for you since you’ve been missing because we were already after the vampires.”

Then I swallowed and the taste of copper still remained there.

“Why the hell did that psycho made me drink his blood? Wasn’t it supposed to be the other way around with vampires?”

The two brothers exchanged a brief look before Sam spoke again. “He- he wanted to turned you.”

“Into a vampire?”, I asked.

“I’m sorry.”, Dean said and I got the feeling that this wasn’t the first time they gave someone this speech. Which had me wondering what they usually did to someone in my position.

Probably this, I thought and looked over to the vampire’s headless body.

“What.. what is going to happen to me now? Is there any way that I will live through this?”

Sam sighed before he answered me. “There is a cure. But we need the blood of the vampire who turned you.”

Suddenly, I felt uncomfortable staring at the bloody machete in Dean’s hand. What’s keeping these guys from taking the easy way out and just killing me?

“So.. Now that we don’t have him.. are you going to kill me?”

They exchanged another look. Then Sam spoke. “No, of course not. There is still hope.” Then he turned to look at his brother. “You take her to the bunker, alright? And I’ll try to follow the vampire.”

Dean nodded and they looked at me again. Sam placed a hand on my shoulder. “Go with Dean. He will keep you safe until we can cure you.”

I nodded silently and followed Dean outside into a 67’ Chevy Impala. The car ride wasn’t very long, but awkwardly silent for most of the time.

“Dean?”, I asked after a while, “Can you be honest with me? How much time have I got until I’ll turn into one of them? And how likely is it that your brother will find Dave?”

He sighed. “First of all, my brother is a very good hunter. He will find the guy who did this to you. And you’ve got time until you drink human blood. When that happens.. there’s nothing we can do for you. But that’s why I’m taking you somewhere where you can’t hurt anyone. And until you don’t drink any blood, you will stay human.”

“That sounds.. too easy to be true.”

“Well, I don’t want to make you any false hopes here. You will get hungry in a few hours. And after a while it will become incredibly hard not to rip out my throat.”

I shot him a curious look. “You sound like you’re talking from experience.”

“Yeah, good times.”, he just commented and I didn’t push any further.

This “bunker” that Sam had been talking about was actually pretty impressive.

But sadly, Dean led me directly to some dark room behind a secret door. There was only a chair in the middle of some strange, big red symbol painted on the floor.

“So, you only freed me from that chair to tie me to another? Awesome.”

Dean shook his head. “I’m not gonna tie you up, I’ll just lock the door on you. But very soon, you’ll start to feel the change. You will become hungry. The light will get incredibly annoying and you wanna punch everything in reach. It kinda feels like your nerves are on fire and you know that the only thing that could make you feel better is killing someone and drinking their blood. But as soon as that happens, there is no turning back. No cure. So I’m afraid you’re just gonna have to hold out until Sam comes back.”

I stared at him. “Sounds like fun.”

He smiled, patted me on the shoulder and turned to leave. Before he closed the door, he looked at me again. “I’ll come back in a minute with some books. Just try not to kill me when I do.”

He winked and closed the door.

Just as he’d promised, he brought me a few books. I didn’t know what I had expected, but probably not some dusty old books about exorcism and demons.

“Sorry, we don’t really have a lot of novels in here.”, he shrugged apologetically and left me alone again. But then I remembered that they were hunting vampires and so these books were probably not “crazy” but actually real.

So I read.

I had no idea how much time had passed, but I didn’t feel anything “changing”. I just felt very bored and very hungry (though I craved for food, not blood).

After what felt like an eternity, Dean knocked loudly on the door.

“Y/n? Are you still okay?”, he asked through the thick door.

“Yes!”, I shouted back, “But I’m really bored. And hungry.”

Immediately after I had said it, I regretted my choice of words. “But, not like “hungry-hungry”! I’m just normally hungry, I swear!”

I heard Dean laughing through the door. “Alright, I’ll bring you something. Just don’t kill me when I come back!”

Again, it felt like forever until Dean banged on the door again.

“I’ll come in now!”, he shouted through the door – both an information and a warning, I guessed.

I sat in the chair to look as friendly as possible. The door creaked and Dean entered with a plate in his left and a machete in his right hand.

I didn’t dare to get up because I didn’t want to seem suspicious to him, but I reached out my hand. He came over to me, not letting me out of his sight.

“I’m fine.”, I promised, “I don’t have any desire to kill you, I swear.”

“Sorry. I’m just careful.”, he replied and handed me the plate.

“It’s okay, I get that. Thank you!”, I practically stole the plate from his hands and took a big bite from the sandwich he’d brought me.

“Hang tight, Sam will probably be back any minute.”, he smiled and turned to leave the room.

The door closed with a loud “thud”, leaving me alone to finally eat the first food since I’ve been kidnapped by a crazy vampire.

Chapter 2

“Y/n?”

The sound of my name woke me.

Did I seriously fall asleep in here?

My bones were aching from the cold stone-floor and I remembered falling asleep soon after I’d eaten the sandwich.

“I’m still alive and still me!”, I answered back.

“I’ll come in!”, Dean’s voice shouted back and the door creaked open.

I sat upright, but I was still on the floor.

Dean was once again carrying a machete when he entered the room and looked at me with confusion.

“Did you fall asleep?”, he asked, letting his machete sink when I wasn’t attacking him.

“Yeah, sorry. I was just so tired.”

Dean came a few steps closer but still kept his distance. I stood up and leaned against the wall to look harmless. Then he took out a flashlight and lighted it in my general direction.

My eyes adjusted to the brightness for a second, then I stared back at him.

“What?”, I asked because he had this very confused look on his face.

He shook his head. “Well.. it’s been hours since you’ve been turned and you’re showing zero signs. When I was turned, I couldn’t even think about sleep. I could only think about killing someone. And every small light was too fucking bright.”

I shrugged. “I feel fine.”

“Are you certain that it was his blood and that you really swallowed some of it?”, he asked.

“Yes. He cut up his hand and I swallowed quite a lot before you came storming in. But maybe that wasn’t enough?”

Again, he shook his head. “Usually a little bit’s enough.”

I just shrugged again, because I definitely didn’t have any answers.

Dean came closer again and was only a few feet away now. Then he raised his machete a little. Before I could say something, he cut into his own flesh and thick, red blood was dripping down his left hand.

Then he looked at me, eyebrows raised. “And? Nothing?”

I shook my head. “No. That’s just gross, you should put a band-aid on that.”

He turned around and scrambled his phone out of his pocket.

“What are you doing?”, I asked.

“I’ll call Sammy. He can come back now. I have no idea how, but you are definitely not a vampire.”

Sandwich, again.

Sam, Dean and I were sitting around an old wooden table in the centre of the bunker. Dean had made me another sandwich (for which I was very grateful) and Sam was looking really exhausted. They both looked at me as if I was an exotic animal in the zoo.

Then Dean got up and took out his phone.

“What are you doing?”, Sam asked.

“Calling an expert.”, Dean just replied and took the phone to his ear.

He was talking to someone named “Benny” and he gave him the address of the bunker. After I’d eaten something, Sam went to his room to finally get some rest (after I thanked him for his effort) and Dean and I started reading up on books about vampires, until there was a loud knock on the door up the stairs.

Dean let the man (who I guessed was Benny) in and greeted him like an old friend. They came down to me and Benny shook my hand.

“Y/n, this is Benny. He’s a vampire.”

I pulled my hand away and stared at Dean.

“Don’t worry.”, he casually said, “He’s one of the good guys.”

“Pleasure.”, Benny smiled.

Then Dean told him what had happened to me.

“So, what are you thinking?”, he asked Benny, “Is she human or a vampire?”

Benny took out a small knife. “One way to find out.”, he said and held out his hand, requesting mine.

I hesitated.

“It’s okay, you can trust him.”, Dean said and I shakily offered Benny my hand. He made a small cut on the side of my palm. A single drop of blood landed on his finger and he released my hand. Dean gave me a small piece of cloth to put on the cut while Benny tasted my blood. I could see that it took him a lot of self-restrain to not smile at the taste.

“She’s human.”, Benny just said, avoiding looking at me.

Dean looked at him. “So, what? She’s immune to becoming a vampire? Have you ever heard of something like that?”

Benny shook his head. “Never.”

Dean sighed. “Well, thanks a lot, man. If you find anything, just give me call.”

Benny nodded, said goodbye and left again.

“So, we’re back to square one?”, I sighed and sat down.

Dean went to the fridge, took out a beer and gestured to me if I also want one. I shook my head and he came over to the table.

“You need a band-aid for that?”, he asked and I remembered that I was still pressing the cloth on the cut.

“No, it’s fine, I can barely..”, I started and removed the cloth to look at it.

“Dean?”, I asked, still looking at my hand. Then I showed it to him. Beside from the little red stain on the cloth, there was no indication that my hand had been cut.

Dean took my hand and looked at it closely. Then he looked at me.

“How the hell is that possible? Benny said you’re human. So what, now you’re invincible?”

I shrugged. “All I know, is that I have zero clue what is happening here.”

After that, Dean and I had repeated the experiment – just to be sure. This time, I had made a pretty deep cut all over my palm. And after watching the blood drip onto the floor for a second, Dean and I watched the wound seal itself and completely disappear withing a few seconds.

And then, once again, Dean took out his phone to call another “expert”.

I had been expecting another vampire. Maybe a human for a change. But when Dean introduced the man before me with “This is Cas. He’s an angel.”, my jaw dropped.

This is getting crazier every minute.

“Hello.”, Cas said and I just stammered back a weak “Hello.”.

Cas reached out his hand, as if he wanted to touch my face, but his hand just hovered over my face for a second.

“This is strange.”, he simply commented and I realised that this was not something I ever wanted to hear an angel say to me.

“What?”, Dean and I asked, basically in unison.

Cas pulled back his hand and spoke more to Dean. “I can feel this.. I don’t know what it is, but she’s emitting power. Something I’ve never felt before. Neither angelic or demonic. But old. Something... that protects her.”

Chapter 3

“Alright, let’s start at the beginning.”

Sam sat down next to Dean on the other side of the table, placing a few more books down. Cas had left again, because he needed to “take care of something”.

“What can you tell us about your life?”

I sighed deeply.

“Okay. So according to my aunt, my father was an architect and my mother was a secretary in the same corporation. They died in a car crash when I was two years old. I had been in the back seat, but I survived. My aunt raised me. She died three years ago, shortly after I turned twenty-two. She didn’t speak too much about my parents’ life, so I can’t really tell you more. They didn’t leave me much stuff either. Only some money and this.”

I pulled out my necklace with the big silver ring around it. “This belonged to my father. My aunt said it was some family heirloom.”

Sam reached out his hand and I gave him the ring.

“This looks like Greek letters to me, have you ever looked them up?”, he asked.

I shrugged. “It means something like ‘eagle’, I think. My grandparents were Greek.”

Sam opened the laptop and started typing, while Dean went over to the fridge to get three beers and he placed them in front of each of us.

Sam shook his head while he searched. “I could swear that I’ve seen these letters somewhere before. But the internet only says what you said. The Greek word ‘Aetós’ means eagle.”

He closed the laptop again. “But I’ve heard that word before.”

Dean just pulled up his shoulders and gave me a “don’t-ask-me”-look while Sam got up and rummaged through some files in the cabinet on the wall. I opened the beer Dean had placed before me and took a few sips. I didn’t really like beer, but at least it was cold.

“Here!”, Sam exclaimed triumphant and brought a single file back to the table. It was very thin and didn’t look like much, but on the side it was bearing the very same Greek letters as my father’s ring.

I leaned over the table so I could see into the file when Sam opened it.

“The way I see it-“, Sam explained to me and Dean, “-these letters are the name of an organisation. Something like the Greek version of the ‘Men Of Letters’.”

“That’s a thing?”, Dean asked.

“Apparently.”, Sam continued, “There’s not much in here, but there are a few names of members that live in the U.S.”

“Well then.”, Dean pulled the laptop to him and opened it, “Give me some names. Let’s see if some of them are still around.”

My hands were nervously playing with some coins I found in my jacket pocket as I watched Dean ring the doorbell. After a few seconds, an old man opened it and cast us a suspicious look.

Sam started as politely as he could. “Hello, are you Adrian Makris?”

“Who wants to know?”, the man just asked, his hand ready to close the door again.

Sam pointed to each of us. “My name is Sam, this is my brother Dean and this is y/n. We wanted to ask you a few questions about Alexander and Maria Rigas. Do you know them?”

He couldn’t hide that he definitely recognised the names of my parents, but he already started closing the door as he answered: “I don’t know them.”

“Please! They are my parents and you’re the only one who knew them!”, I shouted desperately, but I didn’t really have any hope.

But somehow, my words kept him from closing the door. He pushed it open until he could see me. His mouth opened and closed again, before he spoke.

“That’s impossible.”

Not what I had expected him to say.

“Sir, please. We think you might be able to help us.”, Sam pleaded.

Mr. Makris nodded and opened the door. We entered his small but cozy home and settled around the dining room table.

“Tea?”, he asked.

“No, thank you.”, I smiled and he sat down, still staring at me.

“What did you mean?”, I cautiously asked, “When you said it was impossible?”

He sighed. “I did know your parents, y/n. And I have met you, but you were only a toddler then. Your father and I were working together on a project and we became quite close friends.”

He looked at all of us and hesitated. “You have to know that your parents and I were members of a secret society.”

Then he hesitated again, clearly unsure how much he could tell us.

“Don’t worry.”, I said, “We know that there are things out there that most people wouldn’t believe in. I got attacked by a fricking vampire a few days ago.”

He raised his eyebrows but looked relieved. “Oh, okay. Yes, our society did investigate these sorts of phenomena. Your father was actually searching for a cure to heal werewolves from their... condition.”

“Wow.”, I smiled.

“Yes. But then everything changed. I have no idea what had happened, but suddenly your father was very concerned about you. He said that he had received some new information. And now it was only a matter of time before something very evil would come after you. And since he had no way to stop this evil – whatever that may be – he was instead looking for a way to keep you safe from all harm. He became obsessed with the old myths that his father had told him when he was little. About a river that could cure any illness and make one almost invincible.”

“The river Styx?”, Sam asked, “From Greek mythology?”

Dean rolled his eyes because of course, Sam knew this.

Mr. Makris nodded. “He was sure that it was real. And he was turning every stone. I always thought he was going crazy, but then he told me that he found someone who might know about the location of the river. We argued about it’s existence and he left in a rush.”

“Did he find it?”, Sam asked.

“I didn’t know. When I called his phone that evening, it was answered by a police officer who told me that my friend and his family had been in a terrible car crash. I saw the pictures in the newspaper the next day. No one could have survived that.”

“Unless they had found the river before the crash.”, I spoke what everyone was thinking.

There was a loud silence.

“It’s the only explanation of how you can be sitting here right now.”, Mr. Makris said to me.

While my head was still trying to process any of this, Sam was smart enough to continue asking questions.

“Did he tell you anything else about this person he had mentioned? Who could have such information?”

Mr. Makris shrugged and Dean’s answer sounded more like a question itself.

“Maybe he made a deal? A demon could probably locate the river.”

“But-“, I finally caught up with my thoughts, “-how the hell did my parents find a river that makes anyone invincible – only to die in a car crash an hour later? Why weren’t they invincible as well?”

But only then I really heard what Dean had just said and the question answered itself in my head.

Because that was their price.

From what I had read in the book about demons, a deal with them always came with a price – usually your soul.

Dean just looked at me with pity in his eyes, he probably reached the same conclusion as I did.

“No.”, I shook my head, “No, you’re wrong. They didn’t make a deal. They found the river on their own.”

Sam lifted his hands in a surrendering gesture.

“Hey, we don’t know what happened.”, he soothed, but I wasn’t stupid. The demon deal was the only explanation on why I was sitting here while my parents were dead.

I stood up faster than I intended.

“I’m sorry, I just... need a minute.”, I mumbled and left the house before anyone could stop me.

I went outside and pulled on the Impala’s door, but Dean had locked it. So I just let myself sink to the sidewalk and sat down on the edge of it, my feet resting on the empty street.

Tears were forming in my eyes as I watched the sun set behind the neighbouring houses. Two brown boots appeared and Dean sat down beside me.

“You ok?”, he asked.

I shook my head and it took me a moment to look at him and find my voice again.

“How can I deal with that? My parents probably lost their lives to save me! They are dead so that I’m alive. How is that fair?”

“It’s not.”, Dean just commented, but his voice was sincere. I looked down at the pavement again.

After a second, he spoke again. “You know, a few years ago, a demon almost killed me. I would have died. But my father made a deal with a demon to save my life. The demon resurrected me and killed my father instead.”

Now I looked at him.

“How did you deal with that? How can we keep on living when they sacrificed everything to save us?”

A weak smile formed on his sad face. “By making them proud. We make every day count. They wanted us to live. And so we do. We do as much good as we can. We make it worth it.”

One last tear was strolling down my face, but I nodded with determination. Dean was right. My parents gave their lives to ensure that I have one. So I’d damn sure might as well live it.

“Okay.”, I sighed and wiped the last traces of tears from my face. I looked at Dean and I couldn’t help but smile.

I was so grateful that Sam and Dean had found me. They did not only give me answers to questions I had been asking my whole life – they also gave me a new purpose.

“Then I want to help you.”, I said and a grin spread over my face, “You know, I’ve still got some unfinished business with a vampire named Dave.”

Chapter 4

“You sure about this?”, Dean asked, the small knife in his hand.

“Yeah, I am. Thanks.”, I assured and took the knife from his hand.

Then I placed it on my upper left arm and pulled in a sharp breath while I slid it down my arm until the knife stopped at my fingers.

Dean and I watched curiously as the cut dissolved and my skin looked like nothing had happened. Then I switched the knife into my left hand and did the same to my right arm and hand. But it was the same. After a second, the skin was as good as new.

“Okay. So not the arms.”, I sighed and was glad that I was wearing shorts, “Legs?”

I repeated the same procedure with my thighs, legs and feet, but the cut erased itself again.

“Nothing.”, Dean stated the obvious, sounding a little impressed.

I held out the knife to him. “Okay, I need your help.”

Dean held his hands in the air. “Hey, you keep me out of this!”

“Come on, I can’t really reach my own back! Please!”, I pleaded and after a sigh, he took the knife.

I pulled up my shirt, so my back was bare and Dean placed the cold knife against the top of my left shoulder.

“I’m sorry.”, he apologised in advance, before he traced the knife down my back.

The pain was sharp and I winced – but after a second it was gone.

“Nothing.”, he stated again.

“Hm.”, I commented, “I would have thought the back would have been quite poetic.”

“Maybe it’s the right side?”, Dean wondered and placed the knife on top of my right shoulder.

“Sorry again.”, he warned and pulled the knife over my back once again.

Just when he did that, Sam walked past my room. At first, he walked on, but then he turned around and stared at us.

“What the hell are you doing?”, he asked, pointing at Dean behind me with the knife.

I shrugged. “Well, you have read the myths as well! If someone goes into the river Styx, he needs to be pulled out again. And the spot where he was being held becomes his weak spot. That’s the whole story with the Achillies’ heel. But though... from what I’ve gathered, it isn’t actually the spot where you were held, but more like a metaphorical weak spot.”

“So, you’re trying to find your Achillies’ heel?”, Sam raised an eyebrow.

“Kind of.”, I admitted, “If the stories are true, there has to be a place on my body where I can be hurt. And before I follow you two into any kind of danger, I would really like to know this spot!”

“Fair enough.”, Sam admitted and came a step into the room, “So did you find it?”

I opened my mouth to answer, but Dean answered first.

“I think we just did.”

I had been so distracted by talking to Sam, that I hadn’t noticed that the pain wasn’t completely gone.

When I turned my head to the right, I could make out blood just beneath my right shoulder.

“I think it’s your shoulder.”, Dean said and Sam walked past me to look at my back.

“He’s right.”, Sam confirmed, “There’s like a... ten centimetre cut on your shoulder blade that didn’t disappear like the rest.”

Then Sam walked back in front of me and smiled. “At least now you know what you’re getting yourself into.”

I scoffed and nodded, then I reached out to the table and held a few pads and band-aids over my back.

“Could you... uhm...?”, I asked awkwardly, but Dean understood.

He took them and patched up the cut on my shoulder.

“Thanks.”, I finally said and pulled my shirt back down, suddenly feeling a little bit exposed like that.

Dean came in front of me and looked at me like he was solving an equation, turning the knife in his hand.

“What? What are you thinking?”, I laughed. I’d never seen him think this hard.

He pointed at my shoulder. “I’m just trying to figure out if I should give you some armour for that. One the one hand, it would make you basically invincible if your only weak spot was covered. But on the other hand, enemies would maybe think: ‘Why does she have an armour on her one shoulder? Must be worth protecting’. You know what I mean? By covering your weak spot, we would also instantly reveal it.”

I just stared at him.

Sam laughed at him. “Wow, that is.. surprisingly insightful, Dean.”, he chuckled.

“Ha, ha.”, Dean mocked, “But you have to admit that I’m right.”

I shrugged. “I guess you are. So we don’t cover it up. What’s life without a little risk, right? And think about it, how high is the probability that some monster will attack precisely my right shoulder blade?”

“With our rotten luck? I’d say 40 percent.”, Dean grinned and I made a face and showed him my middle finger.

Then, Dean looked at the knife in his hand and smiled as if an exciting thought had crossed his mind.

“What now?”, I asked.

Dean held the knife by its blade and offered it to me.

“Well, if you really wanna kill a vampire, we should probably get started.”

“Started on what?”

“Training you. Maybe this vampire might not be able to kill you. But that doesn’t mean that you’re able to kill him. Come on.”

I couldn’t help but feel like a little kid that was going on a big adventure. So I grinned like an idiot and took the knife Dean still offered me.

The air outside was cold, but the stars were beautiful tonight. My hands were shaking and I didn’t know if it was the cold or if I was just nervous.

Calm down. Or he’ll know you’re lying right away.

I buried my nose in the top of my jacket and exhaled to warm myself when I heard a fancy car coming down the street and immediately, my adrenaline level spiked.

Maybe that’s not him. Just a random car.

But then the car slowed down.

Okay. You’ve got this. You got this.

The black Mercedes stopped right next to me and I heard it being unlocked. I took one last breath in safety and opened the door. As soon as I sat, Dave smiled at me.

“I’m so glad you’re alive, y/n. I thought that those hunters had killed you.”, he greeted me.

I gave him the best smile my nervous body could muster. “It’ll take more than that to kill me.”

That wasn’t even a lie.

“How did you dodge them?”, Dave asked as he turned the wheel and sped up the road.

My heart was racing. “Well, they just thought that I was your victim and wanted to drive me home like boring heroes. And once they let down their guards, I killed them.”

Dave nodded in respect. “Well done. Now let’s go. I can’t wait to show you your new family.”

“No. This is too dangerous.”, Dean had said only a few hours before as we were all staring at the text message on my phone.

“Come on.”, I had argued, “This was your idea! You said that Dave will expect me to be either dead or be a vampire now. So he will agree to meet me. And he has. We just didn’t expect his terms.”

“Terms?”, Dean had scoffed, “This guy wants to pick you up alone with his car in the middle of nowhere! How are we supposed to protect you?”

“You don’t have to protect me, Dean. I’m almost invincible, remember? And he won’t try to kill me anyway! He wants me to be a part of his family. His nest. So he will bring me there.”

“Dean, I think y/n is right.”, Sam had spoken, “She can handle herself. And I already have the perfect idea how we will find her.”

Just a few minutes later, Sam had placed a thick leather book on the table. He’d opened it and pointed to a page.

“A simple tracking spell?”, Dean had asked, his brows raised, “They don’t work on humans.”

Sam had smiled. “Yes. But they work on objects. We will just place the spell on a random small object that y/n can carry with her. So Dave can pick her up and we can follow her without being noticed. And we will kill them before they figure out that she’s not a vampire.”

Dean had let out a very elongated sigh of resignation. “Fine. But I want you to be very careful, y/n. They will think that you’re a vampire. So if they think you’re not with them, they will cut off your head. And you might think you are invincible, but I really don’t want to find out if that includes being beheaded.”

Chapter 5

Now I had to swallow at the thought of what Dean had said. Maybe he was right. Maybe I was in over my head. I mean, yes, I had been training with Sam and Dean for almost a week now. They’d taught me how to shoot a gun, how to fight with a knife, a sword or without any weapon at all. They explained me the difference between a ghost, a ghoul, a demon or an angel – showed me their strengths and weaknesses. But it was not enough. I had no idea how many vampires we would have to kill there. It could be two. Could be twenty. And Dean was right. We had no idea of knowing if my abilities would regrow my head.

But it didn’t matter. I couldn’t let this nest full of vampires and this man run free and kidnap the next innocent girl. I had to stop them.

Nervously, I placed my hands in my pockets and closed my hand around the silver coin inside. Right now, this coin was my most valuable possession. Because this was the only way Sam and Dean would be able to find me.

Dave pulled into the driveway of a big old house. All the windows had something to cover them up and it probably stayed like this during the day to keep out the sunlight.

“Home sweet home.”, Dave smiled as he got out of the car.

I followed him inside and there were more vampires than I had imagined. Four men were playing poker around a table, two women and one guy were watching TV on an old couch and one more young woman came from what I expected to be the kitchen because she was carrying food.

But once we were inside, all eyes were on me.

“Dinner or company?”, one of the poker playing men asked and I swallowed when I realized he meant me.

“Family.”, Dave answered and guided me through the room. We went through a door and down a hallway.

I just hoped I could stall long enough for Sam and Dean to arrive.

After the next door, I stopped in my tracks. There were big iron bars as if it was a prison cell. And inside there was a girl, maybe seventeen, with long, brown, curly hair. When we entered, she looked at us in horror.

“Please, don’t hurt me. I just want to go home.”, she pleaded, clearly fearing for her life.

I looked at Dave. What would I do now, if he would try to hurt her? Could I really kill him without a weapon? I had seen the long knife on the side of his belt.

Dave turned to me and spoke quietly so only I could hear him:

“Okay, so here’s the deal. If someone wants to join our family, they have to earn our trust. Just so we know that they really mean it. But if you really already killed two hunters, then killing her won’t be a problem, will it?”

“No.”, I just replied and gestured him to stay back and let me inside.

He opened the cell and I took a few steps towards the girl that was pressing herself against the wall in panic.

“Come here.”, I ordered as calmy as I could, “I won’t hurt you, I promise. I just need to tell you something.”

The pain was sharp as the hairpin cut into my palm inside my pocket. But I repeated it two or three times until I could feel a little puddle of blood inside my right hand. With the other hand, I gestured the girl to come closer.

She didn’t really have another option, so I was glad that she came to me. And when she was right in front of me, I leaned in closer so I could whisper right insider her ear.

“I will go for your neck. Please play along and then pretend to be dead so I can get you out of here.”

As soon as I pulled my head back, her eyes widened in fear and she screamed as I brought my hands and mouth to her neck. She screamed so desperately that I almost believed her while I smeared the blood from my hand onto her neck.

And after a few seconds of screaming and pretending to fight for her life, her body goes lump and I release her as she falls to the ground.

Wow, this girl can really put up an act. But then again, maybe everyone can when their life is on the line.

I pretended to wipe my mouth, only smearing my own blood onto it, before I turned back to Dave. And then I smiled at him.

“Thank you. She was delicious!”, I laughed and walked towards him so he would focus on me and not on her.

It worked. He beamed at me and took my hand while I followed him back into the living room.

They all stared again, but this time they looked a little more friendly. One girl on the couch handed me a napkin and I cleaned the blood from my mouth.

“Welcome to the group.”, she smiled, “What’s your name?”

“Y/n.”, I replied and took her offer to sit down in the armchair next to the couch.

“I’ll get us some drinks.”, Dave said and left for the kitchen.

Now I allowed myself to release a breath I didn’t know I’d held. The girl was alive. I was sort of safe and Sam and Dean would crash through that door any second.

I looked around the room. Even though everything was nice and decorated, it felt... cold. It felt lifeless. I mean, the bunker had half as much decoration and detail, but it still felt a lot warmer and more like a home than this house could ever feel.

Especially since I had moved in. I didn’t mean to brag, but I had been changing the bunker little by little (small pieces of decoration here and switching some items there) without Sam or Dean noticing it much.

Or maybe they do notice and just don’t say anything because they like it.

And I had been cleaning out the fridge (much to Sam’s delight and Dean’s annoyance) and started cooking on a regular basis. Don’t get me wrong, I did enjoy the takeout food that Dean brought along every now and then, but I still needed something... “home-made” for a change. And I knew from the look in their eyes that they hadn’t had many real meals in their life.

Dave came back from the kitchen and held out a cold beer to me, which pulled me harshly back into the moment. I took it and drank a few sips, still not really liking the taste.

But it didn’t matter. Because only a second later, the whole wooden front door came crashing down. Everyone jumped to their feet and attacked Sam and Dean. Some had enough sense to look for a weapon first, but some didn’t. And before I could even think about what was happening, blood was splashing and heads were rolling. A weapon was thrown towards me and just like we had practiced it, I caught it.

Dave had been still standing a few feet away from me. He hadn’t moved yet. And he didn’t move now. He just glared at me, betrayal clear in his eyes.

“You.”, he spat, “You’re working with hunters? You must be the worst vampire I’ve ever seen!”

I turned the machete in my hand.

“See? That’s the problem. I’m not a vampire.”

Without further dialogue I launched forward and took a swing. Dave dodged easily.

Damnit. I can do this.

I took another swing, this time using all my force. But Dave grabbed my wrist after it had missed him and pulled me towards him. Our faces were only inches away, his grip around my hand tight.

“You’re not a hunter. You’ve never killed anyone before, have you?”, he mocked me, released my hand and pushed me away from him. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that Sam and Dean were still fighting off the others. But I couldn’t focus on them now.

I gritted my teeth and tried another strategy. With all my force, I swung low as if I wanted to aim for his stomach, but he took a step back and I missed him. But that was okay, because I used my own momentum to spin around and instantly swing again, this time higher.

My movement was stopped as it hit something. But when my eyes caught up I saw that he had placed his hand in front of his face and was once again holding my wrist.

But this time he was tired of playing. He might’ve not feared me, but maybe he wanted to kill me quickly in case Sam and Dean came out of this fight alive. So with a swift and sudden movement, he turned my wrist and I could both hear and feel my bones breaking.

Instinctively, I released the machete and just as smooth as he’d always been, he caught it with his other hand and pushed it right through my stomach.

I gasped, the pain burning through me and stealing my breath. But luckily, he pulled the weapon back out again and while he grinned with victory, I could already feel my skin pulling itself back together.

“There’s... there’s something you need to know.”, I said, faking a strain and pretending to be dying – taking it as an excuse to place and hand on his shoulder and leaning onto him.

“And what’s that?”, he asked.

I smiled. “I was trained by the best hunters in the world.”

And since he didn’t even consider me a slight threat anymore, he didn’t notice me pulling out the syringe filled with dead men’s blood until I forced it into his neck.

“How?”, he stuttered, before falling backwards and losing consciousness.

I didn’t answer him. I just took the machete back from his hands and turned around to help Sam and Dean.

I must’ve been so caught up in my own fight, that I didn’t even notice when the other fights around me had died out, because Sam and Dean were standing behind me. A little broken and bruised, sure, but they were alive. The vampires were not.

“How long have you two been watching this?”, I asked with my hand on my hip.

Dean smiled. “Long enough to know that we should definitely keep you in our team.”

Chapter 6

After the story with Dave, I didn’t really know what to do or where to go.

So I stayed at the bunker. I didn’t join Sam and Dean on hunts just yet, because I didn’t feel quite ready to kill all sorts of monsters, but I did patch them up when they came home covered in blood or cooked something for all of us when we woke up in the morning.

And slowly, day by day, we became this well-running machinery. Everything found it’s place. Some might even use the word “family” – even though this had always been a foreign and somewhat stained term for me.

Of course, they’d told me about their crazy life. About how they were currently trying to shut the gates of hell to lock out all demons. (Because, why not.) But in order to do that, Sam was undergoing some trials (about which Dean didn’t seem too happy about) and even though he tried to hide it, it made him weaker. Like he was sick. He’s spent more of his time resting than usual, and it made Dean concerned. So he focused on training me, because that was something he could control.

And after another while, they found a case. They offered me to come along, but this was all new to me. I didn’t really feel confident enough to go out hunting some monsters. So I’d told them to go and leave me in the bunker to train some more. At least, that was the plan.

But only a day later, they came by the bunker – and they didn’t come alone. They were joined by Castiel and they told me that they had a demon waiting in the car. Apparently they were getting close to something called the “angel tablet” – I had no clue what this was, but they made it sound really important. And they asked me if I would help them obtain it.

“I told you I’m not ready to go on a hunt. What makes you think I wanna go and steal some angel tablet before the demons get it?”

“Because I ask nicely?”, Dean smirked and I smacked his shoulder.

Then he made this puppy eyes. (He couldn’t do it as good as Sam could, but he knew I couldn’t resist anyway.)

“Come on, y/n. You’re like the ace up our sleeves! Crowley and his demons don’t know that you’re with us and you’re basically invincible. So nothing can go wrong.”

I sighed. “Fine.”

The demon in the car looked like a regular blonde woman and introduced herself as Meg. She wanted to know what made me so special that I was allowed to tag along, but I’d decided it was better to keep my “condition” from a demon I’d just met.

So we basically sat there in awkward silence (and I was squeezed between an angel and a demon in the back seat) until we arrived at the abandoned warehouse.

As we were walking up to the door, Dean spoke up.

“Okay, Cas and I will go inside. Sam and Meg you wait out here and kill everything that wants to go inside. And y/n, you find a place to hide. I meant it that you’re our ace. You will only come out and start a sneak attack if one of us is in mortal danger. Got it?”

I nodded and Sam argued with Dean about coming with him. But after Dean told him that he knew that Sam was getting worse every day because of those trials, he agreed to Dean’s plan.

So I hid.

I mean, I was just sitting on the cold stone floor behind some machinery, but someone who would be attacking Sam and Meg would probably not notice me. And sure enough, we didn’t have to wait long until two demons were storming towards Sam and Meg. They carried angels blades, just like the one that was shaking in my nervous hand. But Dean had told me to hide, and so I remained where I was.

I wasn’t needed anyway. Sam and Meg killed the demons with ease – even though Sam was weakened. But after they were dead, a gravelly voice with a Scottish accent spoke out of nowhere.

“I believe, they’re playing my song.”

I raised my head over my hiding place as far as I dared. I could only see the man’s back, his long black coat and dark short hair. From what Sam and Dean had told me, I assumed this was Crowley, the king of hell and ruler of the demons.

Great.

I glanced over at Sam and Meg and I was terrified to see that Sam was scared – even though he tried not to let it show.

Does this count as being in mortal danger?, I asked myself in my head. And judging from how powerful I expected Crowley to be and how weak Sam appeared at the moment, I answered it to myself with a yes.

So I stood up as silently as I possibly could. And with the angel blade raised in my hand, I slowly walked towards the king of hell.

Was this an incredible stupid idea? Maybe. But for what it was worth, I was almost invincible, so whatever. Maybe I could at least buy Sam, Dean and Cas enough time to escape with the tablet.

I had to hand it to Sam and Meg. Even though they saw me walking up to Crowley from behind, they didn’t look at me and didn’t give me away. But somehow he knew.

“I hate it when you bring new people to my party.”, Crowley said in an annoyed tone and snapped his fingers.

I could feel the harsh movement as my neck snapped and my thoughts came to a sudden stop.

Fuck, that hurt.

Yes, this was the first thing I thought after having my neck broken.

I could feel that it was back in place now, but it still hurt a little. Little stars were dancing in front of my eyes for a second, but they quickly disappeared and I leaned on my elbows to look around.

Crowley was still standing a few feet in front of me and turned around to face me now, so I had probably not been “dead” for long.

He opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it again. With his brows raised he then said: “Well, this is unexpected. I can feel that you’re not an angel and you’re certainly not a demon, so what’s your deal?”

I stood up and shrugged. “I don’t like to be killed by demons?”

Crowley rolled his eyes and turned back to Sam.

“You know what, I’ve got a better idea. Since your brother and pet-angel have probably already made it to the angel tablet, I propose a deal. I take your new friend to hell and we have a little chat. And when you’re ready to trade the angel tablet for her, just give me call.”

As soon as I understood what he meant, I heard Sam screaming “Don’t!” and the next second they were gone.

No.

I was gone.

Crowley was still standing in front of me, but everything else had changed. We were in some building made of stone and there were other people (demons, I assumed) around.

I still held the angel blade in my hand and Dean had trained me, but I could never make it against six demons and the king of hell. So I just stood there and gave Crowley the bravest glare I could manage.

A smiled crossed his face.

“Welcome to hell.”, he said and the demons were walking towards me. I thought about fighting them, but I knew when a fight was hopeless. So I surrendered and let myself be carried away by them.

Chapter 7

Cas disappeared right in front of him and when someone entered the room, Dean hoped it would be a demon so that he could kill something. But it was Sam.

“What happened?”, Dean asked, his anger now making room for worry.

Sam glanced at the fresh blood all over Dean’s jacket. “What happened to you? Where’s Cas?”

“He left with the tablet. Long story.”, Dean just commented, trying to hide his anger.

Sam sighed. “Crowley showed up. He took y/n to hell. And he only trades her for the tablet.”

Dean sighed and ran a hand over his face. He couldn’t deal with this now.

First, Cas almost kills him and then leaves with the tablet and then Crowley takes y/n.

This day just gets better and better.

“Okay. Let’s get back to the bunker and make a plan. We have to get her back and we have to find a new way to do it. Because even if we wanted to trade the tablet for her, Cas made it pretty clear that he won’t allow that.”

Every time my hands struggled against the ropes, little red bruises appeared on my wrists and disappeared within a second. But it didn’t matter. These ropes were way too tight for me to wriggle out of them.

The door to my cell opened with a creak and I expected the demon that put me in here and tied me to this chair. But it wasn’t. It was Crowley himself.

He was holding a knife in his hand.

“So. Before squirrel and moose trade you out of here, I want to know what I’m dealing with. I can sense that you’re not an angel and you’re clearly not a demon. So what are you?”

“I’m just a human.”, I answered.

He let out an annoyed sight and came a step closer.

“If you were just a human, this wouldn’t heal so quickly.”, he said and pushed the knife into my thigh, no reacting to my pained cry.

“And, of course, this would kill you.”, he continued, pulled the knife back out and pierced it right through my heart.

“Does it hurt?”, Dean had asked a few days ago, when he and I had been training and he had accidentally cut my side. I had raised my shirt and we’d both watched the deep cut seal itself.

“No. Well, yes. You know, I have no idea what the >normal amount of pain< for a cut across your side is. I know that it stings. And for a second, I only want the pain to end. It’s like a wave, crashing over me. But the second after it crashed, the pain is gone. Like the wave is carrying it further and further away. Until I don’t feel it anymore.”

“So it hurts, but only for a sec?”, he’d raised a brow.

“Yeah, kind of. It’s like I imagine what it feels like when Cas heals you. You’re hurt and you’re in pain, but then he heals you and it’s just... better.”

“Must be nice.”, Dean had said and I had agreed.

But this was worse. Because Crowley didn’t pull the knife back out.

I didn’t pass out or “die” like when he broke my neck, but the pain inside my chest was numbing. It was consuming me and while he was examining me and speaking words I couldn’t really listen to, it was as if every beat of my heart was hammering against the knife with a lot of pain. I had described it to Dean as a crashing wave. But with the knife still there, the wave never stopped crashing. It just hit me again and again and pulled me under.

It felt like an eternity, but was probably only a few seconds until Crowley pulled out the knife and I gasped for air as the pain died out. And after about two seconds, I was as good as new.

“So what is it?”, he asked again, “A spell? You some kind of new monster I don’t know about?”

I only stared at him in defiance. And I tried not to show how much pain I had just been in. But somehow I felt that he knew.

“Fine, have it your way.”, he said and made a step back, the bloody knife in his hand, “I’ll tell Baxton to come and pay you a visit. You have to know, he was Alastair’s direct protégé and took over when he died. And my, is he going to be excited when I tell him about you. All the new possible ways of torture when you know the other one will just heal a second later anyway.”

With that, he turned and left the room and I swallowed down the fear that rose in my throat.

Dean sat on his bed, the headphones over his head booming “Thunderstruck” into his ears. But it was no good. The music couldn’t drown out his thoughts.

So he continued thinking.

About how Cas had been so close to killing him, then healed him and then did not trust him enough to stay. He had prayed to Cas, of course. But there was no answer.

And he thought about y/n. She had been innocent. And just like everything else in his life, Dean had poisoned her. He had allowed her to stay with them. He had convinced her to come along. Because for once, he thought it would be different.

She can’t die.

That’s what he’d told himself. So maybe, she could stay with them and not get hurt or killed like everyone else he ever knew? But he was wrong.

Maybe she couldn’t be killed. But Dean had been to hell. He knew that there were worse things than dying. And she could still feel pain.

And every second he sat here was hurting him inside, because he knew from experience that time in hell moves different. If his four months in hell had been like forty years, then one day up here was like 130 days down there. So maybe she was only in hell for a few hours now, but to her... it must have been weeks already...

The memories of hell threatened tears to enter his eyes and he quickly blinked them away when he saw his door opening.

Sam stood in the door and Dean put down his headphones.

“What’s up?”, he asked, his voice gruffy.

“Kevin just called. He has some news for us and wants us to come over.”

Dean shook his head. “We don’t have time for the trials right now, he have to find a way to rescue y/n.”

“I know, that’s what I told him. But he said that doing the second trial and saving her might actually be something we can do at the same time.

The entrance to hell was nothing like Dean had imagined. It wasn’t a big fancy gate with skulls all over it. It wasn’t a magical glowing arch that reeked of death and torture.

It was just a door.

A door in the depths of an ancient abandoned building in the middle of nowhere.

“This is a secret back-door into hell?”, Sam asked as if he’d read his thought.

Dean shrugged. “Maybe Crowley was lying?”

It had taken them quite a lot of convincing to get Crowley to agree to their terms. They’d told him that they would trade the angel tablet for y/n, but the exchange would happen in hell. So after Crowley had agreed, he’d told them about this entrance.

Very cautiously, Dean pulled on the handle an opened the door. Behind it, there were a lot of stone stairs, winding and leading down into the dark.

“This looks fun.”, Dean just commented, pulled out a flashlight and started walking. Sam was right behind him. And the only thing that Dean could think, was that for forty years he’d dreamt of escaping this wretched place and now he was walking right back into it.

To rescue an innocent soul from hell.

That’s what Kevin had told them was the second trial. And he had been right: This was the perfect possibility to kill two birds with one stone.

Or, in their case: Rescue two loved ones with one trip to hell.

When Dean had found out that Bobbys soul was trapped in hell, it wasn’t even a question anymore. They just had to save him.

But even though he didn’t want to admit it, Dean was scared. This plan was crazy and dangerous and if they’d failed, they would already be in the worst place possible. This mission was endangering all of their lives.

Chapter 8

“Hello Boys.”, Crowley greeted them as they entered the big room.

He was sitting on his throne, two demons on either side of them. Dean resisted the urge to lay a hand on the demon knife in his pocket.

Crowley stood up. “So. I see you are as stupid as you look. Or did you just forget to bring the angel tablet?”

“We don’t have it.”, Sam honestly answered, “Cas took it and we have no idea where he is.”

True as well, Dean thought.

“So we thought that maybe we could make another deal. There has to be something else we can trade for y/n.”

Now that was a lie. But Dean thought that Sam sounded sincere and hoped that Crowley was buying it.

Crowley rolled his eyes. “You honestly want me to believe that your pet angel ran away and you’re too stupid to find him?”

“He’s an angel!”, Dean argued loudly, “If neither the demons or the angels can find him, how the hell are we supposed to find him?”

Now Crowley raised his voice. “You’re the Winchesters! You find another fricking way!”

Dean felt the phone in his pocket vibrate for a second and knew that it was time. He smiled at Crowley and spoke.

“You know, we actually did. We thought that we would just walk into hell and get y/n ourselves.”

Now Crowley was laughing.

“That’s cute. But as long as I’m king of hell you will...”

And then he was gone.

Just one second he was there and the next he was gone.

It worked. I can’t believe it.

The demons instantly suspected that this was Sam and Dean’s work and started attacking them. But it wasn’t long until their bodies were laying on the floor.

“I hate you, you know that.”, Kevin had said when they had proposed their plan to him.

“Come on Kevin. You just have to summon Crowley and then you run straight back to your cozy hiding place.”, Dean had pleaded.

Kevin had still seemed unimpressed.

Sam had placed a hand on his shoulder. “You will be summoning him right inside a devil’s trap, so he can’t hurt you. And until he breaks the trap, you will be long gone and we will have enough time to get y/n and Bobby. Please, Kevin. You’re the only one we can trust on this.”

Kevin had sighed. “I hate you.”

“Okay, let’s do this. You go and get Bobby and I will get y/n.”, Dean commanded, “We’ll meet back at the stairs. And if you run into trouble, call.”

Sam nodded. “Be careful, Dean.”

“You too.”, Dean replied and they left in different directions.

The door opened with a creak and I didn’t even bother to look.

“Y/n?”

I knew that voice. But I didn’t dare look up. This had to be another trick. Another torture. Making me think I was being saved. Making me think that Dean was here. Making me believe my prayers had been answered.

So I kept staring at my feet and let the brown boots walk toward me. But then gentle hands placed themselves on my cheek and lifted my head.

“Y/n, are you ok?”

Could it be?

“Dean?”, I shakily whispered, almost expecting him burst out laughing at my naiveté.

But his eyes were sincere. They were full of different emotions. Emotions that a demon could never fake.

Or could they?

“It’s, okay, I got you.”, he just said and released my cheek to cut the ropes around my hands. Now I surrendered. He was real. He was really Dean. And he was here to save me.

As soon as my hands were free, I wrapped my arms around Deans shoulders and he held me while I allowed myself to let a silent tear drip onto his jacket.

“We have to move.”, he awkwardly said and I instantly released him. He freed my legs and I got up, my bones aching with finally being able to move again. Every movement was foreign and Dean had to grab my arm and steady me for a second. But then my body remembered how to walk. And run.

My lungs were screaming at me, but we’d made it through the narrow pathways of hell without encountering any demons. This was going so smoothly, sometimes I suspected that it was in fact still a torture and happening inside my head. But Dean didn’t let go of my hand while we ran. And like an anchor he kept me from breaking down.

After a while we reached a stairway leading upwards. But Dean stopped, let go of my hand, turned around and raised his weapon as if he was guarding the stairs.

“What are you doing? Why don’t we leave?”, I asked, pulling lightly on his jacket towards the stairs.

“I didn’t come alone.”, Dean answered, “We need to wait for...”

“Sam!”

Sam came running around the corner, joined by a man I vaguely recognised from the pictures I’d sneaked through in Dean’s room when he was out hunting.

“Bobby!”, Dean cried out and pulled him into a tight embrace, while Sam hugged me.

But only for a second, then all the warm embraces broke up and Sam spoke: “They’re after us, we have to leave.”

We ran up the stairs and I still had zero clue who this “Bobby” was and why we were rescuing him from hell. But then I thought that he must think the same thing about me, so we’re good.

And as soon as we passed the heavy door on top of the stairs, Bobby started to glow in this weird blue light.

“You boys are crazy, you know that? Thank you. I’ll see you around.”, he smiled with teary eyes and his body dissolved before Sam or Dean could answer. He turned into a shimmering blue light and this light started to rise higher and higher until it left through the ceiling.

“What the hell just happened here?”, I asked, my mouth still open wide.

Dean scoffed. “Our plan just worked the way we actually planned it. I think that’s a first.”

Chapter 9

After our adventure to hell and back, everything changed.

I had expected it to, because going to hell and being tortured there is not something you just come back from. It changes you. If you want it to or not.

Life in the bunker suddenly became less... light than it had been before my trip downstairs. Of course, it was partly because of the nightmares. I had to admire Dean’s patience here, because his room was closest to mine. And because every. single. night. I woke up – screaming and drenched in sweat. Some nights I hadn’t screamed too loud or maybe Dean had been asleep deep enough. But most nights, he heard me. And when I woke up, it was only because he was shaking me by the shoulders, snapping the nightmare out of me.

After I woke, he would sit there in silence. He didn’t force me to speak for which I was infinitely grateful. He just waited until I fell back asleep. And though neither of us spoke about it, something had changed between us. And I didn’t yet know if this change was for the better or not. It was just... different.

But that wasn’t all that had changed. The whole world was about to change. But let’s start at the beginning.

After we had been back, and Sam had spoken the magic words to make sure our trip to hell did serve as the second trial, he sank to his knees. He was clearly in pain and it stayed like this for a moment before he got up, panting: “I’m fine.”

But he wasn’t.

And after a few days of watching him becoming weaker and sicker every day, I knocked on Dean’s door.

“Come in.”, he said and I entered his room. Then I closed the door right behind me.

“I need to talk to you.”, I just stated and he sighed.

“Well that’s not a good start to any conversation.”

I smiled weakly and sat down next to him on his bed.

“Dean, I’m going to offer you a solution you won’t like. But trust me, you like the problem even less.”

He raised his eyebrows, clearly not understanding what this was about.

“It’s about Sam.”, I started to explain, “We both know he’s getting weaker by the day. And so I did some research. Actually Kevin helped me. It’s a long story. But Dean, I think we found something. These... these trials that Sam does. Once he finishes the last one and closes the gates to hell, he will die.”

Dean looked down at his hands and I gave him a second to process the news. Then I continued.

“But he doesn’t have to. I spoke with Kevin. There might be a way to transfer the trials. To transfer the burden to another person so the effort will not be lost while Sam’s life will be spared. And then I talked to Cas. He didn’t exactly answer my prayers because he is still hiding the angel tablet and can’t risk coming here with it, but he did sent me a letter. I had asked him if he would think that my... abilities... would keep me from dying if I was the one to do these trials instead of Sam. And he says he’s not sure, of course, but he thinks I might be able to do it.”

Once again I paused, giving Dean the possibility to process or ask something but he was calm.

“Yeah, so I need you to help me convince Sam to transfer the trials to me. Then I need you both to help me complete whatever the third trial is and then we’ll slam the gates to this wretched place forever.”

Now Dean looked at me. “So you want me to trade my brother’s life for yours?”

I shook my head. “No, didn’t you listen? Cas thinks that...”

“He thinks! Cas never knows anything he thinks. This plan is only based on “if”-s and “maybes”-s! You have no actual idea what will happen to you.”

“You’re right. But I am sure what will happen to Sam. He will die. And I might die. If you ask me, those odds are enough to try at last. I might not have been with you for very long, but I know that you will save Sam at any cost. And the chances here are that we can actually do this without having to bury anyone.”

“But what if you’re wrong?”, Dean asked, clearly running out of arguments.

I knew that this argument was over. Because Dean was probably the only person in the whole world to understand what I was saying now.

“I can’t go back, Dean. I can’t.”, my voice had been calm and steady. Dean looked up into my tear-filled eyes. First his eyes were filled with confusion, but then he understood my words, grasping their full meaning.

“I have to do everything I can to slam those gates shut and making sure that those demons who tortured me can never find me again. Or else I will go insane. This... this fear. It’s eating me alive.”

Dean sighed.

But he gave in. I suspected it was because deep down, he must feel the same fear. After all, I had been in hell for a few weeks. He’d been there for forty years.

It took us a while to get Sam to agree, because of course he didn’t want to just hand me this deadly curse. But after a while he saw my reasoning and agreed.

And so Kevin came over to the bunker. He said it was just the perfect timing, because he had just figured out what the third trial was.

“But first things first.”, he said and placed one hand on my shoulder and the other one on Sam’s shoulder. Between us was a bowl full of strange-smelling ingredients.

Then Kevin spoke some really weird words while Dean was watching the whole thing from behind him, his face concerned.

And then I felt it. I was like fire, crawling through the hand on my shoulder into my body and spreading into every corner. I wanted to scream, but I didn’t want to worry Dean.

The pain was numbing everything. And then it was gone. Just like that. Just the way it had come.

I did feel a little tired or maybe exhausted like I had been awake for twenty hours, but aside from that I felt normal. And when I looked to the side, Sam looked like he had slept a hundred years – his face finally young again and full of colour.

Kevin removed his hands.

“Did it work?”, Dean asked and came closer, looking back between me and Sam.

“I think so.”, I answered, “I can feel it. But I’m okay.”

And for the first time in a very long time, a smile formed on Dean’s face.

But not even a few hours later, everything changed.

Sam, Dean and I were sitting in the bunker, a big pile of takeout-food and an even bigger pile of books in front of us.

“Cure a demon. What the hell is that even supposed to mean?”, Sam asked and pushed away the book that he had been reading.

“Maybe we can get a demon-“, Dean started and made strangling gestures with his hands, “-and make him very sick. And then cure him.”

I rolled my eyes. “Sure. That’s probably what it means.”

“Just saying.”, Dean smiled and I looked into his eyes.

One moment they were green, and then everything was red. I mean, everything.

It took me a second to realize that the red blinking light and sudden sound were the alarm of the bunker.

“What’s happening?”, I asked as we all stood up, preparing for a battle.

But no one was entering the bunker. Then the little lights started to appear on the big screen. First one. And then – within a second – it was a hundred, a thousand lights – all over the word.

“What the hell?”, Dean started.

We ran up the stairs to get outside and look at whatever is causing these lights to appear on the radar. Dean was first, then Sam and then me. We were all taking two or three steps at a time and when Dean swung open the bunker door and stepped outside, he stopped in his tracks, making just enough space for me and Sam so get out next to him.

To my surprise, I saw from behind that he was looking at the sky.

My breath was strained when I finally stepped into the cold night and gazed at the incredible sight from above.

I had never seen something so beautifully horrible before.

Hundreds, no, thousands of lights were falling from the sky. Just like meteors. But if you looked really closely, you could make out that there were human-like figures inside the burning lights.

My mind couldn’t comprehend what was happening. It told me that this wasn’t real. That it was all an illusion. Something like this could never happen. It was just a dream and I was on the verge of waking up.

Or could it?

“No. Cas.”, Dean breathed in a whisper beside me. I feared that my mind would just give out. Wake from this surreal dream. This was too much.

So I anchored myself to the only person that gave me a sense of safety in this crazier-by-the-day-world and took Dean’s hand. He replied with a soft squeeze and it pulled me back into reality.

This IS real. This IS happening.

“What are they?”, I gasped, my hand squeezing Dean’s, as if it could save me from whatever horrors these burning lights in sky could bring upon us.

“The angels.”, Dean answered, “They’re falling.”

Chapter 10

The fall of the angels had not been like I had expected it to be.

After they fell, it wasn’t loud. It wasn’t chaotic. There was no worldwide-panic. The world didn’t end in this instant.

Just nationwide news – broadcasting the mysterious “meteor-shower” all day long. No one seemed to notice that those had not been meteors. Or maybe people were believing whatever the hell they wanted to.

Not that it mattered anyway. Sam, Dean and I knew what had happened, but we still knew nothing. And there was nothing we could do.

We were relieved when Cas finally called, telling us at least a little bit more and letting us know that he was human now, but at least he was alive. And that he’d hidden the angel tablet as good as he could and was on his way back to us.

And just when I thought that having to deal with every angel being locked out of heaven while still trying to find a way to lock the demons out of earth was everything I could deal with, fate came around the corner and proved me wrong.

It all started on some ordinary Thursday. It was some time around noon and I was sitting on the small table in the kitchen, a pile of folders in front of me. I had been researching for our angel- and demon-problem all morning and I needed a change. So I allowed myself to look into the story I was actually interested in.

Mine.

I had to find out more about the Greek society that my parents had been in. Because Mr. Makris had told me that my parents only did what they did because they feared for some great evil to be after me. And my gut told me that whatever this evil was – it was still out there, looking for me.

“I’m back.”, Dean said as he entered the kitchen and placed several bags on the counter.

“Hey.”, I just replied, still focused on my folders.

I heard him put away the things and then open a beer, which made me remember that I’d wanted to refill my glass for hours but was too focused on reading. And too lazy.

“Can you bring me some water, please?”, I asked after reading another sentence.

There was no reply, but I didn’t care. I was already focused on the next paragraph.

And then it happened. Dean entered my vision at my side, the glass of water in his hand. I reached for it, still not looking his way. We were both not really paying full attention to one another and so I knocked my hand into the glass and it spilled all over my arm.

The pain was searing through my hand, I pulled it towards me and just screamed. I screamed in desperation and pain, because I couldn’t do anything else.

Dean grabbed me by the shoulders and shouted my name.

It lasted a few seconds. Then the realization set in that I wasn’t actually in pain.

It was just water. Just water. Just water.

My eyes focused on the wet piece of my sweater. My breath was uneven and too fast. But then Dean’s voice tore my gaze towards him and I stared into very concerned green eyes. He didn’t release my shoulders.

“What was that?”, he asked, his breath just as heavy as mine.

Now I was fully aware of what was real and what had just happened.

“I’m so sorry.”, I mumbled and I hated myself for the tear that was strolling down my cheek.

Dean realised that I was uncomfortable and he released my shoulders. Usually, when something triggered my memories of hell and I had acted out, no one spoke of it and we just continued what we were doing. But it had never been this bad.

Dean pulled the chair next to me back and sat down right in front of me.

“Okay. I know I told you that I wouldn’t push you. But you gotta talk about this. It’s killing you. And if I don’t know what triggers you, I can’t help you.”, he spoke with such calmness that I couldn’t help but believe him.

I believed him. And I trusted him.

I took in a long breath and released it again.

“They wanted to know why I was healing so fast. But I didn’t want to tell them. There was this demon. His name was Baxton. He thought it was funny that I was healing so fast on my own. And with a knife, he found out that I was healing everywhere besides my shoulder. So he covered it up. And then he started.”

I had to pause for a moment and just let the tears streak down my face before I could continue.

“He said I was his new favourite toy. He built these... water balloons. But they weren’t filled with water. They were filled with acid. He and the other demons, they threw them at me. Laughing, as the acid splashed and hit my skin, burning it right off. The pain was... it was worse than anything I could have ever imagined. And just when it was gone and the skin had healed again – the next one would hit me. I was in so much pain. But to them, it was fun. It was just a game. They placed bets. To see who could hit my leg, my stomach, my face. I stopped screaming for help when they had first managed to hit my face while my mouth was still open.”

Now I fell apart. Speaking those words out loud made them... real, again. It made them crash to the surface again with all their might, leaving me crying and shaking uncontrollably. Dean wrapped his arms around me and held me for a while. He said nothing. He just held me. And bringing those words to the surface somehow did make them less scary.

“I’m sorry.”, Dean spoke after a while and our embrace dissolved. He moved his hands to my cheek and shoved the last remaining tears away.

“I should have saved you sooner. And I certainly shouldn’t have convinced you to come with us in the first place.”

I lightly shook my head and looked into his bright green eyes.

“It was my choice as well. And you did save me. That’s all that matters.”

He smiled weakly, clearly wanting to disagree but not daring to argue right now.

My eyes couldn’t tear away from his, until they flickered down to his lips for a brief moment.

What if...?

His head moved the fraction of an inch closer to mine and my heart started racing, when a ringtone broke off the moment. It was my phone.

“I’m sorry.”, I hastily said, Dean removed his hands and I answered it, because I recognised the number. It was Mr. Makris’s phone. I had been trying to reach him last night, because I wanted to meet him again. Maybe he had some more information about any of our three current problems.

“Hello Mr. Makris. This is y/n. Thank you for calling me ba-”, I answered the phone, but a female voice cut me off.

“Uh, this isn’t him.”, the voice said, sounding weak and shaky, “I’m Jeannie, his wife.”

“Oh, hello. Could I maybe speak with him?”, I asked.

“I’m... I’m afraid that’s not possible.”, she answered and now I could finally recognise the strange tone her voice carried along. It was sadness.

“My husband was murdered this afternoon.”

The FBI badge was resting heavy inside my pocket, probably because I knew it was fake and had never done this before.

“Relax.”, Dean said while we were walking up to the house with the bright yellow tape around the door.

Crime scene – Do not cross

The police officer in front of the tape looked at us, but once we took out our fake badges, he lifted the tape, no questions asked.

Well, that was easy.

Inside the house, there were more people than I had imagined. Some people with “forensics” written on their jackets were putting things into bags and giving those bags to other people.

Two detectives (at least I assumed that because they weren’t wearing a uniform and one wrote something down) were standing next to a big red stain on the carpet.

So much blood.

I was glad that Sam and Dean did the talking. The only thing I had to do was show my badge again and then those detectives told us what we wanted to know.

“So, do you have any idea who did this?”, Sam asked.

The detective who had just been writing shrugged. “Not really. We just know that they must have been pros. No sign of forced entry, so they probably knew him or at least tricked him into letting them in. They also waited until the wife was out so he would be alone. My guess is that they had been watching him beforehand. According to the coroner, the victim was tortured pretty bad before being shot in the head. So I’m guessing they got whatever they came for and then killed the witness. We just have no idea what some ordinary physics professor could have that was worth this much effort.”

He wasn’t just a professor.

“Thank you.”, Sam replied and we turned to leave.

Outside, the sun had already set and our walk back to where we’d parked the Impala had been quiet.

My hand reached for the door of the Impala when a sharp pain entered my neck. Of course, the pain immediately died out after I’d pulled the small tranq tard out of my skin. But the next second, Sam and Dean were dropping to the ground, obviously hit as well.

I saw the rising and falling of their chests, which told me that they were probably just unconscious. So I ignored them for the moment and looked around. From the shadows, a tall figure emerged. Once he was closer, I saw that I didn’t know him. He was tall, his hair was grey and I assumed he was clearly over 60 years old. He was wearing a nice suit, far too expensive to be a detective or even FBI or something.

What the hell does this grandpa want from us??

He walked towards me and I was surprised that he wasn’t surprised that I was still standing. But maybe he just thought he missed?

“It’s gonna take more than that to take me out.”, I scoffed, throwing the tranq tard I was still holding to the floor.

His smile sent shivers down my spine.

Why is he still smiling?

“We know.”, he answered and before I could comprehend, a thick black hood was pulled over my face from behind. Strong arms wrapped themselves around me and picked me up like I was a child. I struggled, kicked and screamed, but it was useless. And only a few moments later I was thrown into the trunk of a car and it was slammed shut.

Chapter 11

Why does my head hurt so much?

When Dean woke up, his temple was throbbing. But he couldn’t remember why. He also had no idea why he was laying on the floor. What had happened to his bed?

But then it all came back to him like a punch to his jaw. They had been ambushed.

“Sam? Y/n?”, he mumbled while his fingers reached up to his neck and pulled out the small tranquillizer tard.

His body accepted his orders again and he sat up to look around. Sam was lying next to him. Dean reached over to his shoulder and shook his brother.

“Sam!”, he shouted and Sam woke with a start.

Thank god.

But while Sam woke up, Dean forced himself to stand and look around more thoroughly. He couldn’t see her.

“Y/n?”, he shouted, but there was no reply.

Sam stood up next to him, rubbing his neck.

“What happened?”, he asked.

Dean threw up his hands. “Someone must have taken her. Damn it!”

After a second of silence, it hit Dean.

“The coin!”, he exclaimed.

“What?”, Sam asked, brows furrowed in confusion.

Dean was already walking towards the trunk of his car. “The coin we gave y/n when she was infiltrating the vampire nest. She once told me that she still keeps it as a good luck charm. And it must still have the tracking spell on it, right?”

“Good thinking.”, Sam agreed and helped Dean prepare the tracking spell.

Dean knew that the spell was simple. And that they would have a location on her within a few minutes. But he had no idea how long he had been out. And he didn’t know who had even taken y/n. But somehow Dean had a feeling that even though she was almost invincible, she was in serious danger right now.

The light was too bright for my eyes and it took me a second to adjust. They hadn’t been exactly gentle when they’d pulled me out of the car, dragged me into some building and tied me to this chair. If I had not been invincible, I would now have bruises and bumps all over.

The man who had just pulled off my hood left the room, leaving only me and Mr. Karalis inside this small cold space.

“Soo, y/n.”, he started and I glared at him defiantly, “Let’s just speed this up a little. We know about your abilities. We know about the river. And about your parents. So you could save us both some time and just tell us where your weak spot is.”

My face fell and I couldn’t hide my surprise.

“How did you know my parents?”, I gasped.

He rolled his eyes, clearly a little bit angry that I didn’t answer his question right away. But then he seem to think “Well, what’s the damage in telling her?” and he sat down in the chair opposite to mine.

“Since we’re going to kill you anyway, I’m guessing it’s only fair to tell you why. Tell you the glorious cause you get to die for. But for you to understand, I need to tell you a story.”

 I swallowed the lump in my throat but didn’t dare to speak. I was too curious.

“It all started two hundred years ago with the most powerful witch ever to walk the earth. She was a force so great that no weapon could kill her. A group of hunters had been after her for a long time, but nothing they tried could kill her. So when they found that they couldn’t kill her, they found a way to trap her. An ancient spell – a bloodspell – that was powerful enough to keep the witch in a constant state of unconsciousness.

They celebrated their victory and the threat was over. Or so they thought. Of course they knew that a bloodspell could not be broken as long as one of them or their children were alive, but what they didn’t know, was that the witch wasn’t working alone. She had her followers. And ever since this day and until this day, these followers are looking for the descendants of these hunters. Because once they kill the last one, the witch will finally rise again.

So they searched. They searched and they killed. They slaughtered family after family. Child after parent. I have slaughtered several of them myself. And about fifty years ago, I came into the home of one of these families and I murdered the last five members of the hunter’s bloodline.

I was still very young back then and I made a mistake. I’d missed that the father had hid his infant son inside an old cupboard. He survived. And someone who knew about us and our plan rescued the child and hid him from us.”

He sighed and leaned back on his chair.

“You can only imagine how angry I was at myself. We had been so close to victory. But then we were one infant away from it. And we just couldn’t find that stupid baby!”

His voice had increased in volume a little but now he regained his composure and smiled at me.

As if I understand what this psycho means.

“But what has this story got to do with me?”, I asked.

He chuckled lightly and somehow it frightened me.

“The baby that escaped his destiny all those years ago? That was your father.”

My heart skipped several beats in shock.

“You are the last remaining descendant of the old hunter’s bloodline. When your father found out about his history and that we were looking for him and you, he tried to protect you. He tried to make you invincible, so we could never get to you. And when we crashed his car and killed him, we had no idea that he had already succeeded. We had now idea that our victory had once again been prevented because one little child survived.”

He gave me a moment to take in everything he had just said. This man in front of me had murdered my grandparents and my parents in cold blood. And he was going to kil me now.

He stood up and took a step towards me. When he stepped in front of the light in the back of the room, it casted shadows all over his face, which made this man seem even darker and scarier than he already was.

Then, he placed a hand on my shoulder and talked with a calm and cold voice.

“So. You have two choices here. You can either tell me where your vulnerable spot is and we finally end your bloodline quickly. It’ll be just like falling asleep for you. Or-”, he leaned even closer and his voice was almost a whisper now, “-you don’t tell me and I cover you in gasoline, set you on fire and then I’ll see which part stays burnt.”

Shivers ran down my spine and my thoughts were racing.

He was right. Those were the only two options. Sam and Dean had no way of finding me. I was alone.

I was dead. The only choice I had, was if I wanted to die fast and without pain or suffer horribly before dying anyway.

“My... my right shoulder blade.”, I answered after a few seconds and the old man smiled.

“Thank you.”

He released my shoulder and turned around to the small table next to the wall. With a syringe in his hand, he turned back to face me.

A single tear was strolling down my face as the syringe entered my shoulder. I could feel the poison crawling along my veins, but there was no pain.

He’s right.

It’s just like falling asleep.

Dean kicked in the door with more force than was probably necessary. And he killed those two guards with less mercy than was probably appropriate. Sam took the other two out while Dean already stormed towards the only door at the end of the hallway.

When he pushed it open, a man stood in front of a chair and spun around to look at Dean. An empty syringe rested in his hand and a wicked smile decorated his wrinkled face.

“You’re too late.”, the man shrugged and Dean saw the person in the chair behind him. It was y/n, her had resting lifelessly on her chest. With horror, Dean saw that it was not rising and falling.

Without caring what the man meant, Dean took out his gun and shot the man, point blank. There was no fight. No struggle. The old man was dead before he hit the ground.

Because there’s no time.

Dean stepped over him and freed y/n as fast as he could, laying her still form gently on the ground. With shaking fingers, he felt her pulse just when Sam entered the room.

“Dean, what...”, Sam started but stopped when he saw the scene before him.

Dean turned around to look at his brother, his voice echoing in the small room.

“Sam! Call 911!”

Dean didn’t wait for an answer and placed his hands over her chest, quickly starting compressions. But then he noticed that Sam still stood there.

“What are you waiting for?”, Dean managed while still counting his compressions.

15... 16... 17...

“Dean, we can’t. What would we tell them when they try to push a needle into her left arm and it doesn’t work? Or if they need to operate and watch her skin close within seconds?”

I don’t care, Dean thought. But he didn’t speak.

28... 29... 30...

His left hand pressed y/n’s nose shut while his right hand opened her mouth as he breathed his air into her lungs two times. Then he immediately resumed CPR.

He didn’t stop when Sam asked him if he needed to switch to catch his own breath. He didn’t stop when he heard one of y/n’s ribs crack and a wave of guilt flooded over him. He didn’t stop when a tear he didn’t know had formed landed on her face as he once again pressed his lips onto hers to force the air in.

After some time, he stopped counting to thirty like he’d learned it. The only thing on his mind was a prayer.

Please.

Don’t let her die.

Please.

Chapter 12

The first thing I did when I woke up, was stretch. The sheets were cozy and the bed was warm.

How long was I asleep?

I pushed the blanket off of my body and sat up in my bed. But then I froze.

Wait. How did I get here?

And then it hit me. All of it. I remembered investigating Mr. Makris’s death, meeting the old man and getting ambushed by the car. I remembered the story he told me and the syringe.

How the hell am I alive?

But then another thought crossed my mind.

Wait... Am I alive?

Dean had told me about heaven. And sure enough, my heaven could be a memory of waking up in the bunker on a perfect day.

So I cautiously stood up, feeling perfectly fine, which only encouraged my “heaven”-theory.

“Dean? Sam? Cas?”, I asked as I opened the door of my room and slowly walked down the hallway, my bare feet cold on the bunker floor.

“Y/n?”, I heard a voice coming from the main room. I guessed that it was the voice of Cas.

And sure enough, when I entered the room, Cas stood up from where he was sitting, beaming at me and engulfing me in a tight embrace.

“I’m so glad you’re alive!”, he said as he released me.

“What happened?”, I asked, “Where are Sam and Dean?”

“Out on a hunt. They had to... investigate something.”, Castiel answered, voice deep and calm as always. Then he gestured me to sit and I followed.

“Cas?”, I started as he sat down next to me. He looked at me with concern.

“It this real? Or is this heaven?”, my voice was shaky, dreading the answer.

But to my surprise, Cas laughed.

“Don’t worry, you are alive.”

“But how?”

“Well from what Sam and Dean told me, they found you just after the man had given you something that would stop your heart. You were indeed dead for a few minutes, but Dean managed to bring you back.”

“Back?”, I repeated, eyes widening in shock, “He didn’t make a deal or anything?”

But thank god, Cas laughed again. “No, he didn’t. He just restarted your heart. The ‘normal’ way.”

Now I released a breath I didn’t know I’d held. And without meaning to, I blushed a little at the thought of Dean giving me mouth-to-mouth. So I quickly turned my face a little so Cas wouldn’t notice.

“Uhm, how are you by the way?”, I looked back at Cas. On the one hand, I really wanted to change the topic, but on the other I was sincerely concerned about him. He was human now since Metatron banished all angels from heaven.

Cas shrugged. “Well, I’m adjusting slowly. But I’m lucky. I have you, Sam and Dean, this bunker. Food and shelter. I can only imagine that other angels weren’t so lucky. How scared they must be. Suddenly being human in this... complex world.”

“Yeah, being human isn’t easy.”, I scoffed and barely noticed Cas’s smile because the bunker door opened.

“Sam! Dean!”, I beamed up at them and they smiled right back at me and came down the stairs. Sam walked in front and I hugged him first.

“I’m so glad you’re up and okay.”, he said. Then I released him and hugged Dean.

“Thank you.”, I whispered into his ear. And once our embrace dissolved, he smiled.

“Anytime.”

We just smiled at each other for a second, until Sams question ripped me back into reality.

“So, are you a couple now?”

“What?!”, Dean and I turned to face him basically in unison.

He laughed and shrugged, clearly making fun of us. “Well... you know, I’d just assumed. Since you kissed her last night.”

“Shut up.”, Dean and I answered together and Sam laughed, turning to Cas (for which I was grateful so he didn’t see the blood rushing into my cheeks).

“So, did you find anything?”, Cas asked, “Was it a witch?”

Now Dean exhaled loudly and they sat down while I brought each of us a beer from the fridge before I sat down as well.

“It was a witch.”, Sam started, “But it’s like nothing we’ve ever seen before. We didn’t find her, we just got a description and a trail of bodies. The way they were killed... I’ve never seen anything like this. I didn’t even know magic like that existed.”

I almost choked on the beer I had been drinking from and everyone stared at me.

“Sorry.”, I coughed, “I was so distracted by almost dying, I forgot to tell you what happened!”

Now I had everyone’s full attention as I told them about the man that had kidnapped me. About his story, about my parents and the bloodspell.

“But I’m alive. Their plan failed. How is she back?”, I ended my story with a question.

Cas shook his head. “You are alive, but from what Dean told me, you were dead. Maybe it was only for a few seconds, but a bloodspell is broken the instant the bloodline dies.”

There was a collective sigh from all of us.

“Great.”, Dean commented,  “So those dicks basically unleashed a witch so powerful that a whole group of hunters couldn’t kill her a century ago. And now we’re supposed to stop her.”

But I didn’t let it pull me down.

“Well, you guys have successfully saved the world. I mean, a single witch can’t possibly be worse. Let’s just do what we always do: We find something that kills her, find her, kill her.”

As it turned out, finding something that can kill basically anything, wasn’t as easy as we had hoped. Of course there were rumours and legends, but nothing solid.

Sam and Dean did mention a gun named “The Colt”, but they said they didn’t have it any longer. They’d lost it a few years ago when they had shot Lucifer with it, but it didn’t work.

So we basically spent most of our time looking into legends and myths, trying to find something that could kill her.

It was rather unsuccessful.

After a while we decided to follow the same path as the hunters once before. If we couldn’t kill her – then maybe we could trap her again.

I was surprised to find that it was all going relatively smoothly. Cas knew a thing or two about bloodspells and the Men Of Letters did have some books on it. All the ingredients we needed were easy to come by (or the Men Of Letters did have them in their creepy storage room) and we had prepared most of the spell within a few days.

“So how does it work?”, I asked, watching Cas crunch some bones into a bowl.

“Well, once the spell is complete, it will enchant a weapon of our choice. This weapon then needs to be dipped in our blood so it connects us to the spell. After that, we just need to hurt her with the weapon. As soon as it enters her bloodstream, it will take over her body and put her in an endless sleep as long as one of this bloodline is alive.”

“Great.”, Dean commented, “I’m suggesting a gun. It’s easier to shoot someone than stab them.”

Sam nodded.

“But...”, I started, “There’s one thing if feel we could be smarter about.”

“Like what?”, Cas asked and continued doing what he was doing.

“You know, the witch woke up because the bloodline was broken. And if we are the people to connect our blood to the spell, it will be rather easy for the witches’ followers to break the spell again. We don’t exactly have the expectancy of a long life with many children and grandchildren, do we? They would just have to kill three humans and a fallen angel. No offense, Cas.”

“None taken.”, he replied, now looking up at me, “I think you’re right. But we don’t have any other choice.”

“Yeah we do. And it’s rather easy, really.”, I said, starting to smile.

Now all three men were looking at me.

“Well spit it out, Sherlock.”, Dean demanded with raised eyebrows.

I wasn’t sure if my idea was really stupid or really smart, but it seemed obvious to me.

“Why don’t we... you know... just steal a random bunch of blood, I don’t know, maybe from a hospital or something, and use that blood. Whoever would want to break the spell would have absolutely zero chance of finding out who’s blood it was and there’s a big chance that those were normal people who had families of their own. It would be impossible to break the spell.”

Once I’d finished talking, they were all staring at me in an absolute silence.

“What?”, I finally asked.

Cas turned his head to face Sam and Dean. “You know. I think that’s the reason why my father created men AND women.”

Chapter 13

When we had found the case about two witches that had been murdered, we’d assumed that it was the witch we were looking for. But, of course, we couldn’t be sure until we found the third witch, a woman named Cecile, that had managed to escape the attack and tell us about the witch.

“Her name is Runa.”, she told us, “And she is looking for our spell book. Apparently my ancestors had stolen the spell book from Runa – at least that’s what she told me when she tried to KILL ME!”

Gladly, Cecile agreed to let us help her. And use her spell book as bait. Because she was certain that Runa had placed some sort of tracking spell on it and would find it again.

So we brought the book into this abandoned warehouse and waited.

It didn’t take long until the front door flew open and a woman walked inside. Her black hair fell over her shoulders as if she was some sort of model and I just had to admit that she looked stunning.

I was standing in the middle of this huge room with the book in my hand like some idiot, while Sam, Dean and Cas hid behind the construction pieces laying around.

“Hello, darling.”, Runa said and gave me a charming smile, “I heard you have something of mine. I’d like it back.”

“No.”, I just replied, holding the book defiant in my arms.

She threw her head back when she laughed.

“Oh, and who’s gonna stop me? You and those three idiots that think I can’t see them? You can come out now, boys!”, she shouted playfully.

Sam, Dean and Cas left their hideouts. Dean was now standing only a few meters away from me, Sam was a couple of meters to my right and Cas was almost at the other side of the room.

“If this is supposed to be a trap, it’s not a very good one.”, she shrugged.

I knew I had to draw the attention back to me.

“It doesn’t matter.”, I said, “If you want to take this book, you’ll have to kill me.”

She smiled a wicked smile and made gesture as if she was bored.

“Fine with me.”

As soon as she’d spoken the words, she snapped her fingers and the next second it felt like all the air was ripped from my lungs. I opened my mouth and tried to force the air inside, but something seemed to keep it out.

Dean made two steps in my direction, but Runa pointed her hand at him.

“Don’t.”, she threatened, “The stupid girl insulted me so I’ll have to kill her, but I’d hate to kill a pretty face like yours.”

Dean hesitated, held his hands in the air a little and looked at me.

“Don’t.”, I pressed between my teeth while I sank to my knees. Of course this had to be hard for them, but they knew the plan.

Just don’t do anything stupid, Dean.

Dean kept standing there, but it seemed to take him a lot of self-control.

My vision started to get blurry, but apparently I was dying “too slowly” for Runas taste, because now she snapped her fingers again and my neck was broken in an instant.

If I had a nickel for every time someone broke my neck, I’d have two nickels already. I know that’s not much, but probably more than anyone will ever have, so whatever.

I woke up and blinked the stars away quickly. I had no idea how much time had passed and what had happened, but if our plan was still intact, I had to act fast now.

So I reached beneath the rubble next to me and pulled the gun with our enchanted bullets out.

Then I stood up as quietly as I could and saw that everything was perfectly in place. Dean still stood there, his hands in the air and looked at me. Sam and Cas remained in the same position while Runa just waltzed towards the door, the book in her hand.

They were no threat to her and she assumed I was dead – it was no or never.

With a deafening sound, the gun fired and the bullet soared through the air.

This is it. Our one and only shot – pun intended.

My eyes shot up to look at Runa and if the bullet had hit her.

But she just stood there.

One hand outstretched, the enchanted bullet floating in the air right in front of her palm.

“No.”, I whispered.

She examined the blood-stained bullet with her eyes until her face turned from anger to rage.

“Did you really think that you could trap me again? That I’d fall for the same trick twice? DO I REALLY LOOK THAT WEAK TO YOU?!”

Then she took a deep breath and regained her composure.

“Fine. If you don’t want to play nice, I can arrange that.”

She turned her hands in the air and whispered something until the bullet shimmered and glowed lilac for a moment. Then the bullet turned around to face me. My eyes widened in shock.

“Now you’ll know what it feels like to be trapped.”, she said and before I realized what that meant, all hell broke loose.

She pushed her hand forward in one fast motion and the bullet came speeding right towards me. I was so shocked that I couldn’t move fast enough.

And even though my body wasn’t fast enough to do anything productive, my mind was racing. A thousand thoughts seemed to cross my mind within the fraction of a second.

But all I could do was anticipate the pain of the bullet.

It didn’t come.

The pain felt different. It wasn’t small. Precise. Sharp.

It was harsh. Full of force.

And the next second I was laying on the floor.

Now I finally realized, what had just happened. I had been forcefully shoved aside and fallen over.

Next to me, Dean’s body was lying on the ground without any movement besides the rising and falling of his chest.

“NO!”, I screamed, finally finding my thoughts and my voice again. I grabbed Dean by the shoulders and turned him on his back, revealing a gunshot-wound in his upper right arm.

Damn fool.

“Dean!”, Sam called out and started to run in our direction, but Runa just waved a hand and Sam and Cas went flying backwards through the room. They didn’t get back up.

“What have you done to him?!”, I shouted, turning back at the her.

She smiled and shrugged. “It was his fault, really. I’ve clearly been aiming for you. But don’t worry, I’ve altered the spell a little. It won’t be for him like it was for me. He won’t fall asleep and not remember anything. He’s trapped in something far worse. A nightmare of his own making. The worst one he can imagine. And he will feel every second of it.”

I turned back to Dean, tears forming in my eyes.

“You know what’s the best thing about this?”, Runa continued, “I’ll bet it was your blood you dripped that bullet in. So whatever you do... you two will never see each other again.”

And without another word, she disappeared, leaving me to stare at Dean with only one thought.

It was my idea to use some stranger’s blood and make this spell unbreakable.

Chapter 14

Carrying Dean’s lump body into the bunker looked very exhausting, even though Sam and Cas worked together. We laid him onto his bed and if I didn’t know any better, I would have thought he was sleeping.

Well, he kind of is.

I started sobbing quietly, but Sam placed a hand on my shoulder.

“Don’t. This is not your fault. And we will get him back.”

“But how?”, Cas asked, “We have made this spell ourselves so no one could break it.”

“Yes. But y/n said that the witch changed it.”, Sam replied and suddenly looked up as if he had an idea.

“She said that it was not like we had planned it. Dean is not ‘dead’. It’s more like he’s asleep.”

I shook my head. “But how does that help us?”

“Well... I have no idea if this works, but she said that she trapped him in some sort of nightmare. Like a dream. Right?”

“Yes, and?”

“Do you know that feeling, when you’re in your dream, but then you realize that you’re dreaming so you wake up?”

I nodded. “But how does that help us? I doubt that Dean can hear us.”

Sam looked at his brother before he answered. “Yes, but if it’s like a dream, then we can use dream root to enter his dream and tell him that he’s dreaming. Wake him up from the inside.”

Cas immediately nodded. “We have to try. I’ll get the ingredients.”

He left Dean’s room and I sighed while I sat down next to him on the edge of the bed.

I had read about dream root and I’d been fascinated with the thought of entering the dream of another person.

I looked back up to Sam.

“So you’re gonna drink some potion, enter Dean’s nightmare and tell him to wake up?”

Sam gave me a weak smile. “No. You are.”

I just stared at him in disbelief. “What?”

He placed a hand on my shoulder. “You and Dean... you share a connection. I think you can reach him. And I have to stay here and keep guard in case she finds us here for some reason. I will make sure no one hurts you or him out here. And you make sure that Dean comes back to us. You can do this.”

Somehow, his words hit me like a train. Sam trusts me. He trusts me with Dean’s life (which is probably the biggest form of trust he could express). And he says we “have a connection”.

I was trying not to get overwhelmed by all those emotions this unleashed in me.

“Okay. I will try.”

Just a few minutes later, Cas brought us a glass full of murky liquid and Sam took it.

“Is that it?”, I asked, looking at the glass.

“Almost.”, Sam answered, leaned over his brother, plucked a hair from his head and threw it into the potion.

“There.”, he said and held out the glass to me.

I stared at it in disgust.

“Gross.”, I commented, but took the glass. It looked awful, but it tasted worse.

“Ugh. That’s horrible.”, I groaned and made a face as I laid down in the bed next to Dean. It wasn’t much space, so our arms touched and I couldn’t help but blush a little.

Sam handed me a sleeping-pill and gave me a concerned smile.

“Be careful, y/n. We have no idea what will happen and I don’t want to come rescue you both.”

I just nodded and swallowed the pill.

It didn’t take very long until my eyes grew heavy and I drifted off to sleep.

When I came around, I was standing on the side of a road. It was dark outside and the moon was almost full. There was a forest to my right side. I had absolutely no clue where I was or why I was here. And I couldn’t see Dean anywhere.

So I started walking along the road. A little stretch ahead, the trees ended and the road made a curve along a breathtaking cliff. I walked up to the edge and looked down at the valley far below. It was a nice view, but I couldn’t enjoy it.

I had been so taken by the view that I almost missed the figure, standing several meters away from me at the edge.

It was Dean.

“Dean!”, I cried out and started walking towards him.

He spun around to look at me and quickly wiped some tears away from his face. Suddenly I realised what he was doing here. The way he had been standing, looking down...

Dean had been about to take his life.

“Who are you?”, he asked and I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces.

I had never seen him shed a tear before. And now... he didn’t look sad. He looked broken. Like a shell.

This is just a nightmare.

“I’m y/n, your friend. Dean, you need to listen to me.”

He shook his head. “I don’t have any friends. I don’t have anyone.”

I cautiously took a step closer, but there was still some distance between us and if he would jump now, I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. I wondered, what would happen to his real body, if he died here.

“But what about Sam? And Charlie? You do have friends, Dean.”, I tried.

“I don’t know you. And I don’t know any Charlie. And Sam... He hates me. And I can’t blame him. I took him on a hunt, because I couldn’t bear to be alone anymore and then Jess got killed. It’s my fault. If he had been there, he could have saved her.”

With a shudder, I realised that he was very determined to take that jump. Otherwise he would never tell this to a stranger.

Only if he thinks it doesn’t matter anyway.

“Dean, that’s not true. It didn’t happen like that. Look, you did take Sam on a hunt. And Jess did die. But Sam doesn’t hate you for it. He’s your brother. And you’ve been hunting together ever since. This here-“, I gestured at everything around us, “-is just an illusion. A dream. This is not real. Out there, in the real world, you’re with me and Sam. And you have to wake up.”

For a second, he stared at me in disbelief.

Then he gave me a smile that broke my heart.

“I can’t do that. Hope. Not anymore. And I can’t be alone any longer. So whoever, or whatever you are... I’m sorry.”

And then my heart seemed to jump off that cliff along with him.

I didn’t dare to walk up to the edge and look down. I didn’t want to see this.

But then I heard a nearly silent sob behind me and turned around.

Several meters away, right at the edge, was Dean. He looked down and I saw a tear fall from his face.

“Dean!”, I cried in relief and he turned to look at me.

“Who are you?”, he asked and I realised that this was his nightmare. Being so broken and feeling so alone, that he kills himself. Over and over again. Without any hope.

A tear ran down my face as well and I took a step towards him.

“Dean, you have to listen to me. I know that you think that Sam hates you and that you’re all alone. But you’re not. You are not alone. I need you to know that. You have a family and they love you so much.”

He shook his head.

“You don’t know anything about me.”, his voice was almost a whisper.

But I didn’t fall into his sadness with him this time. This time, I was going to get through to him. So I started speaking with my most confident voice, because right now, I needed to be confident for the both of us.

“You’re name is Dean Winchester. You were born on January 24^th, 1979 in Lawrence, Kansas. Your mother died when you were a kid and after that, your father started hunting monsters. You have always looked after you brother, Sam. And when you were adults and your father went missing, Sam joined you to look for him. And then his girlfriend got killed by a demon.”

Dean’s face was torn between sadness, confusion and suspicion.

“Who the hell are you and why do you know all that?”

Now I took two steps in his direction as I continued.

“I know you Dean. But I know something you don’t. I know, that after Jess died, Sam joined you to find the demon that killed her. I know that you found him and killed him.”

For a moment, he wanted to disagree, but I didn’t let him speak and continued instead.

“But Sam didn’t leave you. He stayed by your side for all those years and you killed countless monsters. Hell, you even saved the whole world from the apocalypse. You met an angel named Castiel and he became your best friend. And a while after that you met me. You saved my life and took me in when I had nowhere else to go. You became my family. And now, you were cursed by a powerful witch to live inside this nightmare. But you have to wake up. You have to snap out of this!”

Dean’s tears had dried and he just stared at me. It was as if he wanted to believe me, but couldn’t. Like he was so scared of hoping.

I was only a few feet away from him now. And I took one more step towards him.

“Please, Dean. You have to believe me. You are not alone. And we can’t do it without you. Your family needs you.”

I reached for his hands and took them into my own as he was staring at me, the moonlight reflecting in his beautiful green eyes.

“I need you.”, I said and once I saw his hesitation, I kissed him.

It was just a second. A short brush of my lips against his.

Then he lowered his head and stared at the ground. But I was not ready to give up on him.

So I reached one hand up and placed it on his cheek, which made him look at me again.

“Please, come back to me, Dean... I... I love you.”

Now his eyes were piercing my soul. There was so much hurt and hope inside them. Like he couldn’t believe that someone could ever really love him and it broke my heart.

“Okay.”, he just whispered and a whole mountain fell from my shoulders, “I believe you.”

I blinked, only for a second, and Dean was gone in an instant.

Instead, I saw a white ceiling over me. And then Sam’s head entered my vision.

“Y/n? Are you ok? Did it work?”, Sam asked and helped me sit upright.

I was ripped from the dream so suddenly that I needed a moment to understand what was happening.

Dean!

I turned my head to look at the body lying next to me. And to my relief, he was stirring. His eyelids fluttered for a second before opening and looking around in confusion.

“Sam? Y/n?”, he asked while looking into our relieved faces.

“Dean.”, Sam answered, “I’m so glad you’re back.”

Dean sat up and blinked before he looked at us. I quickly looked down. I wasn’t ready to face his reaction to what I had just said and done.

“Yeah, thanks for bringing me back.”, he just replied and I somehow I was glad that he didn’t address it right now.

“You ok?”, Sam asked when Dean just sat there in silence for a moment.

Now he seemed to come back to himself and he shook his head for a moment, as if shaking off a thought. “Yeah, I’m fine. I don’t remember much, to be honest.”

Sam just scoffed. “Well, that’s probably for the best.”

“Yeah.”, Dean replied and my heart shattered once again this evening.

So I got up and Sam and I left the room, telling Dean that we would eat something in about an hour. I quietly walked back to my own room and sat down on my bed, still not sure how to react to that.

I had just confessed my love to Dean. I had kissed him.

And he didn’t remember it.

Awesome.

Chapter 15

The weeks passed and everything went back to normal.

Cas was still human.

I was still almost invincible.

Sam was still researching all the time to find the witch.

And Dean was still not remembering what had happened.

Great.

We had gotten close to Runa several times over the weeks, but it was like a dog chasing it’s own tail. Every time we thought we had her, she was long gone when we arrived at the scene. It was liked she was ten steps ahead of us all the time.

We just knew that she seemed to be gathering very rare ingredients for some spell, but we had no idea for what.

“Guys, I think I found something!”, Sam exclaimed one evening in the bunker, while everyone was practically doing their own thing. He pointed at the book in front of him.

“I have a theory what she’s trying to do.”, Sam explained once everyone was staring at him expectantly, “You know how we couldn’t find any spell with those ingredients at all? So I thought, maybe it’s because there isn’t one. Maybe she’s not trying to cast a normal spell. Maybe she’s trying to alter one. So I looked for spells with similar ingredients but in a weaker form and I found one. It’s a spell that allows the caster to enter places that they were locked out of. Like a counter spell to break a banishing spell.”

Dean raised his eyebrows. “So she’s trying to break into a place that she’s been locked out of?”

“Well, sort of. She’s gathering the ingredients for it, but in a much stronger form. For example the spell needs the feather of an angel, but she took the grace of an angel. Or it requires the blood of a virgin, but she took her whole heart.”

“So she’s enhancing the spell?”, I asked.

“I think so.”, Sam nodded.

Cas released a sigh. “With a spell this powered-up, she can not only enter places that she specifically has been locked out. It’s more like she can enter places that all humans were locked out of.”

“Like what?”, I asked.

Cas shrugged. “I don’t know. Places like Heaven. Or Purgatory. Or Hell. Divine places. With the spell just right, she’d have access to all of them.”

Now we all sighed.

“Okay.”, Dean started, “So whatever she needs this spell for, it can’t be anything good. We have to stop her before she finishes it.”

“We just have to find her first.”, I added.

Sams expression changed when he glanced back to the book.

“I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.”

His dramatic pause almost killed me.

“The next ingredient she needs is the blood of a person that was dead for a few seconds. If we follow her logic, she will want the blood of someone who’s been dead longer than that.”

“So?”, I asked.

Sam looked at Dean. “Well, we know someone who’s been dead for four months.”

A heavy silence laid itself over us.

Dean was the first to break it.

“Guys, that’s a good thing. It means I’m the perfect bait. We don’t have to keep looking for her. We’ll just spread the word and wait for her to come to us.”

Now looking back, I should have guessed that she wasn’t coming to us.

She was coming for us.

We had spread the rumour everywhere. That Dean was still trapped in the nightmare-spell and that we had “given up on him” and “laid him to rest” in a grave at the local cemetery. And, of course, we reminded everyone that he had once been dead for several months.

Then we set up a small base in the old mausoleum on the cemetery.

We waited.

And waited.

Cas had fallen asleep over in the corner on the small cot we’d set up and Sam and Dean were playing cards while I was reading a book.

“Okay, I’m hungry. I’ll go get something to eat. Who wants what?”, I surrendered and grabbed the keys to the Impala.

Dean shook his head. “No, no, no. You’re not driving my baby alone.”

He had once jokingly forbidden me to ever drive his car after I’d told him that I had once crashed my own car. But I guessed that he was just looking for an excuse to get a short break. He disliked being cooped up in here just as much as I did. So I just rolled my eyes and said: “Then, by all means, come along.”

He got up and pulled a jacket on while I took Sam’s food order.

“Call us if anything happens.”, Dean said as he closed the door behind us.

Then we sneaked off the cemetery and into the car.

We listened to his old cassette tapes on the ride and sang along like idiots, but we didn’t care. It was actually nice. For once not being in danger every second but just being like normal people.

“Ah, isn’t it nice to not be in mortal danger for a few minutes?”, I asked on the ride back, as my hand was surfing the cold night air outside the car window, while Dean was speeding along a highway.

“You make it sound so miserable!”, Dean laughed.

I shot him a sincere look. “Well, normal people would probably not call this a very enjoyable life that you’re leading here.”

Dean was still laughing. “That’s not a very nice thing to say, you know.”

“But I mean it. You have died like, what, a hundred times already? I don’t even know if you’re really good at getting yourself killed or really bad at staying alive.”

Now he stopped laughing and rolled his eyes. “This again. I promise you I’m not trying to get myself killed.”

I had been mentioning this a few times now, but Dean managed to avoid the conversation every time.

“Whatever.”, I just mumbled and resumed to look out the window.

When Dean and I arrived back at the cemetery, we knew something was wrong the moment we saw the door to the mausoleum in pieces on the floor.

“Sam! Cas!”, Dean shouted as we dropped the bags of food and stormed inside.

Cas was laying on the floor next to the wall. There was blood all over his face and for a second I thought he was dead. But then Dean placed his fingers on his neck and after a second said: “He’s alive. Probably just knocked out.”

Then he stood back up and looked around.

“Sam?!”, Dean shouted, but there was no answer.

For the next minutes, I stayed with Cas and tried to get him to wake up while Dean searched the whole cemetery for Sam. He returned with a worried expression on his face.

“I can’t find him.”, he murmured and I knew he was trying not to panic.

So I got up, walked over to him and looked right at him.

“Sam will be okay. But right now we have to get away from here. Cas is hurt pretty bad and if Runa did this, she might come back. I think it’s best if we get Cas to the bunker and figure out what to do next once he wakes up.”

Dean just nodded and after a second, he caught himself and helped be to get Cas to the car.

We didn’t talk for the whole ride.

The first time one of us spoke again was when we’d just laid Cas onto his bed in the bunker and I left the room saying: “I’ll get some water and towels.”

When I came back, Cas was just starting to stir and blink.

“Cas?”, Dean rushed towards his side, “Cas, are you ok?”

It took Cas a few more moments to fully wake up and groan in pain.

“What happened?”, Dean asked.

Cas sadly shook his head. “It was Runa. She knew that you weren’t in the grave and found us.”

He coughed violently and I offered him a glass of water, which he took gratefully.

“She wanted your blood, but once she saw that you weren’t there, she made Sam disappear just by touching him.”, Cas continued after handing me back the glass of water.

“Where did she send him?”, Dean asked.

“She came to me and said to give you a message. I should tell you that she will be in that abandoned warehouse where we first met her. And that she will torture Sam for every minute you don’t surrender yourself to her.”

Cas had another coughing fit, but Dean already stood up.

“Dean.”, Cas tried in between his coughs, “You can’t go to her. She doesn’t just need your blood. She said she wants your heart.”

I handed him back the glass because his coughs grew more violently.

“Get some rest, Cas.”, Dean just answered and left the room.

I looked at Cas.

“I’ll make sure he doesn’t get himself killed. Will you be okay?”, I asked him.

He just nodded and coughed: “Go.”

Chapter 16

I couldn’t let Dean leave. Not like this.

I caught up to him at the end of the hallway and walked right beside him, as he put his gun into his waistband and headed for the exit.

“Dean, don’t!”, I pleaded but he walked right on.

When I saw that he was heading for the table on which the keys of the Impala still rested, I sped ahead and grabbed the keys just a second before him.

He stopped and gave me his best “seriously?”-look.

“Give them to me.”, he demanded.

“No.”, I held them even tighter in my hand, “You’ll just go and get yourself killed.”

Now he rolled his eyes and sighed.

“This again. When are you finally gonna stop suggesting that I’m suicidal?”

I looked him dead in the eye. “When you start acting like somebody that wants to be alive.”

Apparently, that hit him. His face fell a little, because up to now, I hadn’t been so serious about this matter. And I never stood up to him like that.

But of course, he couldn’t let it get to him. He just reached out his hand demandingly.

“Give them back.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m not trying to get myself killed and if you think that, you’re wrong.”

“No?”, I raised my eyebrows at him, “What do you think will happen when you face Runa?”

He threw his hands in the air. “Of course I know I could die, you think I’m doing this for kicks?”

“You are willingly facing her, even though you know you have no weapon against her and she wants to kill you!”

Now he raised his voice, obviously angry. “I’m trying to save Sam!”

“How is it that every other person here knows that we need to have a plan first? You know, people run away from this line between life and death. You seem to stand on it and wait for a strong wind to sway you one way or the other!”

Dean just stared at me, lost for words. Speechless, as I continued and my force increased with every word.

“You’re careless with your life. You’re not slitting your wrist, but you’re careless. I don’t know why. Probably because your Dad told you that you were a waste of space on this planet. Your problem is, that you believed him. And one of these days you’re gonna get yourself killed because of that. But I won’t let you. At least, not today.”

I shouldn’t have said that.

Mentioning his father and blaming him had probably been a mistake. Because up to that part, he had almost seemed as if he was going to believe me. But then he got angry again. And defensive.

“You don’t know my dad. And you don’t get to decide how I live my life.”

“Watch me.”, I just spat, folding my arms like a defiant little kid.

“Ugh.”, he groaned, but then he raised his voice again, “Stop acting like a child and give me my damn keys! Why do you even care if I live or die?!”

“Because I love you, you stupid moron!”

I’d shouted the words at him before I could stop myself.

And once we realised, what I had just said, both our faces fell.

Dean’s face lived through a thousand different emotions, before settling on a confused look.

And when he spoke, his words were not what I had expected.

“Is this the first time you told me that?”

Now I was the one with the confused look. But then it dawned on me why he would ask this question.

“No.”, I answered, “I told you the day I brought you out of your nightmare when you were bewitched. So you do remember!”

His silence was enough of an answer.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”, I asked.

Dean shrugged. “I thought that it wasn’t real. In my defence, we were inside a dream!”

I scoffed.

“That’s so like you. You are so convinced that you don’t deserve to be loved that if someone straight up tells you, you immediately assume that it wasn’t real! What the hell is your problem? Is it so hard for you to believe that I could-“

My next words were silenced when Dean pressed his lips onto mine. The kiss was gentle, but full of emotions. As if it meant the world to him but at the same time he was worried he could crush me.

And for the following seconds, I entirely forgot what I had wanted to say.

When our lips parted, our faces were hovering only inches from one another.

“I have to save Sam. I can’t lose him.”, Dean whispered, his voice conflicted.

Sam.

I had completely forgotten about the extent of the situation around us for a moment.

“I know.”, I whispered back and barely brushed our lips together again, as if to underline my following statement, “But I can’t lose you. So let’s find a way to save you both, ok?”

He nodded and I was so relieved, I released a sigh, took a step back and started pacing.

“Okay. What do we know? We know where she is. We know she’s trying to cast a spell and wants your heart for it. We know she’s got Sam and that she practically cannot die.”

“Great.”, Dean added, “And we have two more bullets that could trap her in an endless sleep, but she will sense it if she sees them and can stop the bullet if she’s not completely distracted.”

I continued pacing and turned some ideas over and over in my head, tossing all of them away again.

“You know...”, Dean started, his voice sincere, “Those bullets aren’t the only thing that could kill her.”

I know.

I had thought about the first blade as well. But I had sworn to myself that I would never tell Dean where it was, because I was too scared to lose him to it.

“I know you don’t like it.”, Dean continued, sensing my resentment, “But I think it’s the only way. Maybe I could distract her with the blade and make it a somewhat fair fight while you get Sam out?”

Why does this still sound like a suicide mission?

But I didn’t have a choice. Dean would save Sam. And letting him go into  there without the first blade was definitely a death sentence. At least this way he had a fighting chance.

God, I hope this is enough.

As soon as I heard the sounds of a fight, I peeked around the corner.

Dean was swinging at Runa with the first blade while she was dodging his attacks effortlessly. She didn’t even use magic at the moment.

Sam was rested against the wall, a couple of meters away from me. I took a few hesitant and sneaky steps forward, but Runa seemed to be very focused on Dean and didn’t notice me.

Once I reached him, Sams eyes tore away from the fight and noticed me. His left eye was swollen badly and there was blood all over his face, his head and his hands as well.

“Y/n?”, he croaked, his voice hoarse.

“Shh.”, I whispered, “I’m getting you out of here.”

While I used my knife to cut the ties around his arms, Sam nodded towards the still ongoing fight.

“We have to help Dean.”, he said.

“I will. But you have to get out of here. I promised Dean that I would get you out and you’re in no condition to fight. Can you walk on your own?”

He nodded. “What are you gonna do?”

I pulled the front of my jacket back a little so he could see the gun with the enchanted bullets tucked in my waistband.

“Probably something stupid, as usual.”, I grinned and Sam nodded.

He must be really exhausted, if he just accepts this plan. I’d thought he’d give me more of a fight.

Once all the ties were cut, Sam wished me good luck and left through the back exit.

I turned around to see Dean and Runa still fighting with all they’ve got. Runa had apparently disarmed Dean and was now aiming at him with the first blade in her hand. Of course, it didn’t hold the same power for her as it did for Dean, because of the mark, but it was still sharp. Dean was dodging her stabs, but his movements were growing tired.

Okay, they are moving way too fast to shot her. But maybe I can make a loud noise and distract Runa for a second. Maybe that’s enough to give Dean...

“NO!!!!”, my screams echoed through the wide halls of the building, as I watched the scene in front of me unfold.

Dean had been too slow.

Before I could even finish my thought how I could help him, Runa pierced the first blade right through his chest.

As she pulled it back out and Dean fell backwards to the dusty floor, I did no longer care about anything else.

I ran towards him and fell to my knees besides him – not giving a fuck that I had now turned my back to Runa who still held the first blade.

“Dean.”, I whispered and his teary green eyes met mine.

Runa made a snarky comment behind me, obviously relishing in her victory, but I didn’t care.

“Is... Sa...?”

“Sam is safe.”, I interrupted, already guessing his first question.

When Dean opened his mouth to speak again, the words were drowned by the blood.

“I... I...”, he started, but before he could form a single word, his eyes unfocused and he seemed to look right through me. His head lolled back and his breath came to a halt.

“No.”, I cried, letting my head fall down on his chest, sobbing into his blood-soaked shirt.

I had no idea how long I had been crying like this, but suddenly a sarcastic voice behind me made me jump a little and pulled me right back into reality.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did you still need that one?”

My head lifted itself slowly. The hatred I felt at the moment was beyond words. If I could have seen Runas smirky face at the moment, I would have lost it.

My hand slowly reached towards the gun around my waist. I held it tight between me and Dean’s lifeless body.

If I spin around now, she’ll kill me before I’m even halfway there...

But...

But that doesn’t mean I can’t still shoot her.

I wonder...

What will happened to me...

If I...?

With shaky fingers, I turned the gun around in my hand, facing it right towards my stomach.

“You’ll regret this.”, I spat through gritted teeth.

Come on.

Answer.

I just need a closer location.

“Oh right. I’d like to see you tr-“, Runa started her answer, but she never finished it.

A gunshot interrupted her and everything went silent.

I could feel the pain crashing over me as the bullet entered my stomach, forced its’ way right through it and left my body again.

A second later, I heard a thud and now I finally dared to turn around.

It worked.

Runa was laying on the ground, a gunshot wound in her shoulder.

The bullet actually hit her.

I turned back to Dean when I suddenly felt weird. Little stars were dancing in front of my eyes and my head grew heavy. As if I had been awake for a thousand hours.

“Oh no.”, I started, lying down next to Dean to avoid falling over involuntarily, “It seems... I was... wrong. The magic... huh... It does work on me as well.”

I thought I heard yelling somewhere, but it seemed very far away.

I wanted to blink and open my eyes again, but my eyelids were so heavy, I just couldn’t open them again.

Fine.

I’ll take a quick nap.

But just a few minutes.

Just a second.

Chapter 17

When Castiel heard the bunker door open, he stood up way too fast and regretted it right away. Everything around him was swaying for a moment, but then he blinked it away and left his room. His head felt like there was a thunderstorm inside, everything was pounding.

Man, being human can be quite annoying.

When he reached the entrance room and looked up the stairs he immediately knew something was wrong. Sam was standing in the door, his face stern and bloody.

Why is it just Sam?

Maybe the others are waiting in the car?

“Sam? What happened?”, Castiel asked as he walked up the stairs to him.

Sam was looking into the distance and Castiel had to place a hand on his shoulder to get his attention and repeat the question.

“Sam? Where are Dean and y/n?”

Castiel watched in horror as Sams eyes filled with tears and it was then that he knew that it was bad.

They are not waiting in the car.

Their bodies are.

“Y/n got shot.”, Sam just stated, still not looking at Castiel, but more like through him, “With the magic bullets. She’s still breathing so I’m guessing that the spell affected her different, you know? I think she will wake up soon. Yeah, she’ll come around.”

Castiel shook Sam’s shoulder without really meaning to.

“Where is Dean?”, he repeated once again, feeling like he already knew the answer.

For the first time now, Sam really looked him into the eyes and shook his head.

Castiel dropped his hand from Sam’s shoulder and blinked his own tears away as he looked to the ground.

No. Not Dean. He can’t be.

“I need your help.”, Sam continued, “I’ve carried their bodies to the car, but Dean was so heavy... I couldn’t... he was... you know with... with the stairs... and the... you know... I couldn’t...”

Sam’s mazy words turned into a sob and Castiel embraced his friend and held him tight, as they both mourned the loss of their brother and best friend.

Two weeks later

I woke up with a start, my hands closing around the air as if they had just held something before.

Where am I?

What happened?

Sitting upright, I tried to bring order into the chaos of my mind. I was sitting on a bed, soft blankets pulled up to my stomach.

My stomach.

The bullet!

Hectically, I pulled up my shirt and saw that there was not even a scratch on my belly.

What the hell am I wearing?

Yes, that was my next thought. Because someone had changed my clothes. And usually, that was not something to freak me out. I mean, my shirt must’ve been soaked in blood, so naturally Sam, Cas or Dean would cha...

Dean.

My heart burned with the thought of him. But I pushed them away as soon as they came.

I need to focus right now. Yes, Sam or Cas could have changed my clothes, but they would have brought me to the bunker. Where the hell am I?

The wooden bed was standing inside a cozy room that had this typical cabin-in-the-woods-vibe. The door to this room was ajar and I could see a couch, a dining table and a fire crackling in the other room. I did not recognise any of this.

A sound made me jump and I realised that I had no idea if I was in danger at the moment. It had sounded like water running and heavy footsteps.

Okay. Just assume the worst.

Someone took me.

 I sneaked out of the bed as quietly as I could and walked over to the door on bare feet. No one seemed to be in the combo dining- and living room. The sounds appeared to be coming from the other door to the right, which was also slightly ajar.

So I sneaked ahead, grabbing a big knife from the kitchen table.

My hands were shaking as I held up the knife and walked towards the door. The noises continued, someone was doing something inside the room that I guessed was a bathroom.

Okay. Now or never.

One... Two... Three!

I pushed the door open and pushed the knife down, but my wrist was grabbed by strong hands and I looked into bright green eyes.

For a second, my brain didn’t seem to work.

Then I almost dropped the knife.

“Dean!”, I exclaimed and wrapped my arms around him. He was wearing jeans and a black T-Shirt which was still a little damp, probably from the shower he’d just taken, guessing from his wet hair. He held me tightly and placed his hand on the back of my head, making me feel as safe as I’d never felt before.

Once our embrace dissolved, I placed one of my hands on his cheek, still not believing what I was seeing.

“Dean? Is it really you? How the hell are you alive? And where are we?”, I stuttered.

Dean cupped my hand with his own.

“I... I sort of sneaked out of the bunker, because Sam would have talked me out of this. But I just had to get away from...”

“What?”, I interrupted, “Sam doesn’t know we’re here? What’s going on?”

Dean looked at me, opened his mouth to speak but closed it again.

“Dean?”, now my smile faded, my voice grew worried and sincere, “Tell me what’s going on. Right now.”

He nodded silently, as if accepting his defeat and looked me right in my eyes.

Then he blinked and when his eyes opened again, they were black.

I gasped and stumbled away from him, taking a few steps back and immediately holding the knife back up.

The demon in front of me raised his arms as if trying to calm a child.

“It’s okay. It’s still me. Please, just let me explain.”

I had absolutely zero clue if this was some sick trick or not, but I thought that if he’d wanted to kill me, he would have done it while I was unconscious. The knife in my hand was lowered a little.

Dean sighed.

“Okay. So apparently there was a side effect to the mark of Cain we didn’t know about. If I die, I come back as a demon. So when Runa killed me, she didn’t really kill me. But you actually killed her, or... you know... put her into an endless state of sleep or whatever, which was awesome by the way... Anyway, I am a demon now. But I’m still me as well. I’m still the same Dean Winchester as always.”

My voice sounded less certain than I intended. “If you’re still Dean, then why are we hiding out in the woods? Where are Sam and Cas?”

Dean shook his head and raised his voice a little, clearly annoyed now.

“Because Sam would have talked me out of this. He would have found a way to make me human again, but I don’t want that! Being human was... it was painful. All those emotions! All that grief I was carrying around. All the freaking time. Being a demon is so much better. I no longer feel like I’m carrying a ton of weight with me all the time while I can still feel the good things in life.”

His words hit me like a truck.

I knew that Dean did not always have it easy. But hearing it like this was hard. And who was I to tell him that he had to take that weight back on? I should at least give him a chance to prove that he really is the same person. Maybe this was for the better?

Or maybe he will kill me because he’s a fucking demon now!

Dean slowly took a step towards me.

“Please, y/n. I’m still me, I promise.”

He took another step and I had no idea what I wanted to do.

Run? Scream? Kiss him? Hit him in the face?

When Dean came to a stop right in front of me and placed his hands on my cheeks, all my thoughts came to a stop and I almost forgot how to breathe.

“I can still feel everything.”, now his voice was almost a whisper, “For example... I can still feel this.”

His head moved forward and I closed my eyes as his lips touched my own. I kissed him back, hesitantly, because I wanted to kiss him back but I feared that he would flip a switch and attack me any second.

“I can still want this.”, Dean whispered and lowered his head to kiss my neck.

My eyes were still closed as Dean kissed his way down to my collarbone.

I almost gave in.

“Dean... I don’t know...”, I mumbled and Dean stopped right away pulling his head back up to look at me.

“You can trust me. I’m still the same Dean I was. And I still love you.”

His eyes seemed to pierce right through my soul and shattered all the worries I had held just a second before.

I just couldn’t hold back any longer.

I lunged forward and kissed him hard, my hands running through his hair, as we made our way to the bedroom.

Chapter 18

Oh my god. This was the best night of my entire life.

I opened my eyes and looked up at the wooden ceiling. I could hear Dean breathing steadily beside me and felt his arm around my belly, but I wasn’t ready to face him just yet.

Oh shit. I just slept with a demon!

Well, technically, at least.

When I finally turned my face to the side, Dean was grinning at me like an idiot.

“What?”, I asked, smiling broadly as well now.

“You were amazing, you know that?”, he smiled and I blushed hard.

“Stop it.”, I chuckled and jokingly threw a pillow in his face.

“I mean it!”, he laughed, “For two weeks now I’ve been wondering if you’d ever wake up again and what you would probably say to...”

“TWO WEEKS?”, I interrupted and pushed myself onto my elbows, “I was asleep for two weeks?”

Dean shrugged. “Well, yeah. I’m guessing that spell hit you different. Didn’t basically kill you like it did Runa, but you certainly needed to sleep it off.”

This was worse than I had imagined. I’d thought that it was the next day or something. But this meant that Sam and Cas had been worried absolutely sick for two weeks now! Of course, I had been planning to call them the second I had looked into those black eyes yesterday, but I’d assumed that I had time.

I need to call them. Now. Tell them what happened.

“Okay. Whatever.”, I tried to play it off, “I’m betting my life that you also brought baby out here?”

“Of course, you think I walked here?”, he chuckled.

“Good.”, I smiled and leaned over to kiss him.

“Why?”, he asked.

I smiled, but then kissed him briefly again.

“Because I know you, Dean Winchester. That fridge over in the kitchen is probably almost empty and I’m really hungry. So how about I’ll drive into town for a second and bring us both something nice for breakfast.”

I kissed him again. “And if you managed to clean this place up a bit in the meantime, who knows? Maybe I’ll manage to bring back some pie as well.”

“Oh, tempting.”, he groaned and kissed me back, “Fine. But hurry up, I’m starving already.”

I just smiled and gave him another kiss, before getting out of bed, dressing quickly and leaving the cabin before he even got out of bed.

“Hello?”

Hearing Sam’s voice was such a relief, I had to focus not to cry.

“Sam?”, I asked, my voice higher than usual, “It’s me, y/n.”

Now Sam’s voice was completely changed. “Y/n?! I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear your voice! I knew you’d wake up one day.”

Then Sam muttered something as if talking to someone else and then I understood “wait” and “speaker”.

There was a crackling sound and then Cas’s voice rang through the payphone speaker.

“Y/n! You’re awake! I’m so glad!”

I smiled. “It’s good to talk to you too, boys.”

Now I realized how much I missed them already and that was even though for me it was one night. They had been worried about me and Dean for two weeks.

“Y/n, what happened?”

So I told them. Everything that happened yesterday. Well, everything from me waking up, to me accepting Dean’s plan for the time being. Not what happened after.

“So he’s a demon now?”, Cas asked, still shocked by the news.

“Yes.”, I confirmed, “But he promises he’s still the same. And beside from him being a little more... relaxed and at ease, I haven’t noticed any reason for worry yet. But of course I’ll be very careful.”

“But...”, Sam was hesitant with his choice of words, “You know we... we have to turn him back, right? He can’t just stay a demon.”

“I know.”, I nodded even though they couldn’t see me, “That’s also why I called you. Dean is not ready to come back, because he thinks you’ll turn him human again. So I thought that we don’t convince him now – especially since we don’t know any way to turn a demon back into a human. So I propose that for the time being, I’ll stay with Dean and keep a close eye on him to make sure he doesn’t do anything he’ll regret later, while you two find a way to cure a demon.”

There was a short pause, but then Sam answered: “Okay, I think you’re right. Just try and call as often as you can, okay? I’d be worried about Dean losing himself when he was a regular demon, but he’s a demon WITH the mark of Cain. We have no idea what that will do to him. Be careful, okay?”

I promised them several times and said my goodbye before I hung up the payphone.

Okay. Now I’m alone again.

Alone with a demon that used to be Dean Winchester.

The next few days were the best and the worst of my life.

For the first time, I had everything I could ever ask for.

I was with the man I loved and we couldn’t keep our hand off of each other. We laughed, we cooked, we played board games, watched movies, went to town and had a nice dinner or just went to the mall. And when we got home late at night, we’d lost our clothes before we even reached the bed. It was like the best vacation I had ever had.

Dean was so much more at ease than I had ever seen him. We both did whatever we wanted, not giving a care in the world. He was free from his past.

But everything was... tainted.

When the laughter died off, my smile faded and I realized that the man in front of me had died in my arms. And that the Dean Winchester in front of me was a demon. A creature from hell. Evil. Even if he didn’t really show it.

He was still... different. I couldn’t quite put it into words, but it was like we were living in a bubble here inside that cabin. And I was scared that if the bubble popped and Dean would face something he didn’t like, he could tear the whole world to shreds.

And that only got worse. In the beginning, he was calm. But every day it was as if something increased the pressure on a steaming machine. He became nervous, or... more like “on edge”. I was very careful not to upset him, because I had no idea what would happen then. But I assumed it wasn’t good.

And, of course, I had to be right.

It was the fourth day since I’d woken up. I had just entered the cabin, mud sticking to my shoes and rain still dripping from my hair and clothes, a shopping bag under my arm.

“Man, that weather really came out of nowhere!”, I laughed as I placed the bags on the kitchen counter and wrung out my hair. Thunder was rumbling somewhere in the distance.

“Dean?”, I asked, but then I spotted his silhouette in the bedroom. He was sitting on the bed.

I tore off my completely soaked jacket, carefully lost the muddy boots and quickly dried my face on a kitchen towel. Then I walked into the bedroom and saw that Dean was just sitting there, watching me with fierce green eyes.

“Dean? What’s wrong?”, my voice was uneasy.

He shrugged.

“I don’t know. I hoped that you could tell me.”

He pointed over to my other jacket and a sense of dread flooded over me.

Uh-o. I think I know where this is going.

“I wanted to put that away, but then I found this in your jacket.”

He pulled the silver flask from the pocket and held it up so I could see it.

Shit.

“I thought you had a great idea there, carrying that around with you and took a swig. Almost burned off my mouth. Holy water, huh?”

I could tell that he was angry but tried not to show it.

“Dean, I’m sorry...”, I started, but he wasn’t done.

“Oh, save it. You told me that you trusted me. Completely. But still you felt the need to arm yourself against me. Why would you even be scared? You’re almost invincible, remember?”

He’d raised his voice a little at the end and stood up from the bed, tossing the flask back on it.

Now I got a little angry myself.

“It wasn’t my safety I was worried about! Dean, you’re a fucking demon! Yes, you tell me you’re fine, but you still got that mark on your arm! The mark that made you get angry even when you were human. I have no idea how long it’ll take until it starts affecting you again. Until some hiker wanders into our cabin and ends up dead because he looked at you the wrong way.”

Dean scoffed. “Wow. So you have that little faith in me. Well, then maybe I’ll go and prove you right.”

He walked past me and headed for the car keys on the table.

“Dean, what the hell are you talking about?!”, I gasped, walking right behind him.

He turned back around and groaned in annoyance.

“You’re right, okay? I can feel the mark affecting me. The blade in the trunk of my car calling out to me. I just... It feels like someone set me on fire and I keep on burning every day. And very soon, I’m gonna explode. I just... the mark demands... I just... I have to kill something.”

I swallowed, while he turned around, grabbed the keys and headed for the door.

But then I ran past him, stood in the door frame and placed a hand on his chest, stopping him in his tracks. I looked him dead in the eye, my face defiant and my voice stern.

“Then kill me.”

Dean raised a brow.

“What?”

I didn’t waver and repeated myself.

“Then kill me. I mean it. If the mark requires you to kill someone in order to not go off the rails, then kill me. I’m the only person that will actually wake up again. And I can’t let you go out there and hurt anybody else.”

He hesitated, but I realized in horror that he was actually turning the idea over in his mind. For a second, I had thought that maybe I could talk him off the edge. End this night without Dean killing anyone. But his face said otherwise.

“Dean, I mean it! Just kill me already and we’ll see if that makes you-“

I couldn’t finish my sentence, because Dean’s strong hand were reaching forwards and he broke my neck with just one swift movement.

Didn’t I once say something about nickels and people breaking my neck?

Ugh, whatever.

When I blinked open my eyes, I was staring at the wooden ceiling of the cabin. The stabbing pain in my neck was already disappearing as I sat up and looked around, my wet hair clinging to my neck.

Dean was standing a couple of feet away from me, his face turned the other way.

Little stars were dancing around me as I stood up, but they were gone when I had reached him. He looked up when I stood in front of him.

“Dean? How are you feeling?”

“I’m sorry.”, he mumbled, “I didn’t mean to...”

“Hey, it’s okay.”, I interrupted, “I asked you to, remember? But did it work? Do you feel better?”

He nodded and I was so relieved that I hugged him.

I told myself that it was nothing.

That it was just a bad day.

But deep down I knew that this was just... a graze.

We dodged a bullet tonight and if I hadn’t been basically invincible, it could have ended very differently. I need to do something.

Then it hit me.

I need to call Sam again. We have to get back to what we were doing before all of this chaos started. We have to find a way to cure a demon.

Chapter 19

“Dean.”

Now he was looking up from his food, brows furrowed.

My heart was racing and I was suddenly questioning everything about this plan.

No. It will work. Dean will listen to me.

“I really need to talk to you. How are you feeling about a little trip?”

He placed his spoon beside the plate, even though he probably wasn’t finished.

“To where?”

I sighed. “To the bunker. I called Sam today. He and Cas really miss you.”

I could clearly see that he was mad about the call. But he tried not to show it.

“I told you. They would just try to save me – but I don’t need saving. All I need is this.”

His kind words didn’t waver my determination. “Dean, please. I promise you, that you won’t have to do anything you don’t want to. We can sort this out, we always do. But we need our family. I’m begging you – just this one favour. If we can’t come to an agreement, we never have to go back, okay?”

His eyes were cautiously scanning my face for lies. But then he nodded.

“Fine.”

The drive back to the bunker was quiet and I hoped that he couldn’t hear the beating of my scared heart.

Please, let this go as planned.

With a screech, the bunker door was opened and Sam’s hopeful face greeted us with a smile.

“It’s so good to see you.”, he said and wrapped me in a warm embrace. Once it resolved, the two brothers examined each other. Then Sam chose to hug him as well, whispering: “It’s good to see you too.”

It was the first time I realized what Sam had gone through. He watched Dean die. And then take off without any note. And now he’s coming back -  as a demon. Once the hug resolved, Sam gestured us to come in and we passed him to make our way down the stairs.

Cas treated us exactly the same as always and was waiting with cold beers at the table. I sat down and so did Sam, who just came down the stairs from the entry.

But Dean hesitated.

I placed a hand on the empty chair beside me. “Please Dean, you agreed.”

He scoffed, but then he gave in and sat down next to me.

“So, what’s all this about?”, he asked, not even touching his beer.

Without a word, Cas placed a basket on the table. Inside, there were a lot of syringes filled with blood. Sam explained it to him.

“We found a way to cure a demon. Or at least we think we do.”

Dean grunted, rolling his eyes. “Great.”

Then he turned to face me. “You said you didn’t want to save me.”

I held his gaze, not daring to look away. “I’m not trying to save you, Dean. I’m trying to save the world.”

His puzzled look told me that he was at least listening to our idea.

“A lot has been going on, so you probably forgot about the trials. But we didn’t. And the last trial is still open. If we manage to cure a demon, we can slam the gates of hell forever. We will finally defeat them.”

His eyes mirrored surprise. He hadn’t expected that. And to my surprise, Cas was the next person to speak up.

“We know, that being a demon is much easier, than being a human. And we know, that you have already suffered so much and have been carrying a heavy load. But we have to ask you to carry just a little bit more. If you are willing – we can lock out every demon. Forever.”

I could practically see the wheels turning in his head. His mind, searching for a reason to say no. An error in our argument. But it was fail-proof. This was a good thing to do. So if he was still good as he claimed, he would do it. And we could not use another demon, because then we would also lock Dean away forever. It had to be him.

“Guys. I don’t know.”, he started, but his voice was weak.

“Please, Dean.”, I continued, “Do it for me. So that those demons that tortured me can never get to me again.”

My heart shattered, as a silent tear was running down his cheek. “I can’t... I can’t go back. To the pain.”

I placed my hands on his face and looked him straight in the eye. “Yes. You can. We are with you. You can do this.”

There were a thousand emotions in his face, all of them battling each other. Grief, anger, hope, despair. It was a brutal battle.

But then his face settled and one of those emotions won: Anger.

“No. I can’t.”, he said, his voice suddenly calm and stern. Then he blinked, and his eyes were completely black.

No.

My initial shock automatically made me remove my hands from his face, as if his eyes alone could kill me. The next second, Dean was already on his feet.

“I told you: I don’t need saving! We are leaving. Now.”, he commanded, his eyes back to normal and focused on me.

“No, Dean. We will cure you.”, my voice betrayed me as I tried to stay as calm as possible.

Deans gaze shot over to Cas and Sam on the other side of the table and he clearly noticed the angel blade Cas was trying to hide behind his back.

“So this is how it’s gonna go?”, Dean scoffed, “We are leaving now. You can try to stop us, but we will leave anyway.”

Cas pulled the blade from his back and held it up as he came forth from the table and stood right in Dean’s path to the door.

“Dean.”, I spoke, getting back his attention, “We are not letting you leave.”

He nodded, as if accepting his situation. Then he made a quick step towards me that made me hold my breath.

“Be quiet and come with me. Or I will break your neck, kill them and take you anyway.”

A shudder travelled down my spine and I knew that we were not getting out of this the easy way.

“Okay. Just don’t hurt them.”, I pleaded and he nodded in agreement.

His hand wrapped around my wrist and as he turned back, Sam and Cas were standing in front of us – blades held up high.

“Let us go.”, I warned, looking at Sam and nodding to him with trust in my eyes.

He nodded back and they both stepped aside.

“Thank you.”, Dean humored and pulled me towards the stairs.

As we climbed them, step by step, I started speaking again. “I’m sorry, Dean. I really hoped, that this would go according to plan.”

He didn’t answer and just as we reached the little gallery with the ugly old carpet in front of the door, I stopped in my tracks and pulled my hand from his grasp. He froze, then he turned back to me, his face full of controlled anger.

“I really wished I wouldn’t have to betray you.”, I spoke, my voice just a whisper now.

He took a step back to me.

“What are you-?”, he started, but then he stopped. As he tried to take another step towards me, the anger suddenly fell from his face and made space for complete shock and disappointment.

He lowered his head, staring at that ugly old carpet beneath his feet.

“A devil’s trap?”, he asked, looking back up, “How?”

“Sam finished the last part as we walked down the stairs. Just in case you wouldn’t listen to us.”

Like on command, Sam and Cas were standing behind me, both with the angel blade still in hand.

“I’m sorry, Dean. But this isn’t you.”, Sam said.

“Yes it is!”, Dean shouted, his eyes black and his voice filled with rage. “You’re just not ready to accept it! You are the crazy ones! Not me!”

Without answering, Cas handed me the handcuffs with the little devil’s trap carved into them. I knew it had to be me, because I was the only one Dean couldn’t kill permanently. But walking into this devil’s trap with him still felt as if I was walking into the cage of some hungry lion.

“Stand down, Dean. It’s over. There is nothing left to do for you.”, I said, trying to hide the panic from my voice. He held up his hands a little as if he was surrendering to the police.

“Then arrest me, officer.”, he spat, as I entered the carpet.

Every sound was sucked out of the room and all I could hear was my beating heart and my shaky breath. But Dean didn’t fight. He allowed me to put the handcuffs on him.

Maybe there is still some good in him.

Sam crouched down, lifted the edge of the carpet and removed a small line of paint with the blade in his hand. I’d watched him and turned my back at Dean, so it was a complete shock as two strong hands grabbed me from behind and wrapped themselves around my neck.

“Don’t move!”, Dean commanded and Sam and Cas froze within their movements as he firmly held my neck, “I can kill her faster than you can reach me.”

“I can’t die, remember?”, I asked, questioning my own position as a hostage.

“We don’t know what will happen if I rip of your head.”, Dean answered and fear rushed through my bones.

“You wouldn’t kill her. You love her!”, Cas stated pleadingly.

I could not see his face, but Dean’s voice sounded as if he was smiling. “You wanna bet?”

This is not Dean. Now I am sure.

“Give me the keys to the cuffs and let us leave. If you follow us – I’ll kill her.”, Dean ordered.

Everyone was looking from one person to the other.

“Please, Dean. Don’t become the things you hunt.”, I whispered.

His grip on my neck loosened just a little bit, but that was enough for me. With one swift movement -  a movement he taught me – I pulled the lid from the small flask in my pocket and poured the holy water over his hands.

With a scream, he let go of my neck, his hands steaming as the water burned him. The sight of it triggered my memories from hell and I was glad that Sam and Cas were taking over. All I could do was fall victim to my own memories once more.

The next hours were the worst of my life.

At first, I wanted to stay with Dean. Be there for him after every syringe of blood that Sam or Cas forced into his arm. But with every minute that passed, Dean grew angrier. At first, it was harmless. But once he started telling me how hard I had betrayed him and how he would never forgive me – I couldn’t take it anymore.

Sam saw it and told me to leave. That they would finish it.

And so I did.

But going back to my room felt wrong. So I slowly made my way over to Dean’s room. Without a word, I’d let myself fall onto his bed, curl up in his sheets and cried until my heart was empty and my eyes were tired. And then I fell asleep.

When I woke up, it was way darker than before. Almost all the lights in the bunker were out. Just a small reading lamp on the bedside table was throwing its’ weak glow into the room.

I was still laying in Dean’s bed. But as I turned around, I saw him. Dean was sleeping in the chair next to the bed, still in the same clothes he’d been wearing before.

As if he didn’t want to wake me.

“Dean?”, I whispered very cautiously and he immediately woke up.

His eyes searched the room for a brief moment as they always did when I woke him. But then they settled on me and filled with sadness.

“I’m so sorry.”, he said, his voice empty and full at the same time.

I just smiled. Knowing that he was Dean again was more than enough for me.

Without standing, I made a little more space in the bed and patted the empty space.

“You should really get some rest. You look horrible.”

He smiled and just that smile alone healed something in me.

With heavy and tired movements, he rose from his chair, pulled off the shoes he was still wearing and practically fell down next to me. He turned to me and I moved closer to him, resting my head against his chest.

“I’m sorry.”, he repeated and I realized that I hadn’t really responded yet.

“Don’t be.”, I tiredly spoke, “I won’t judge you for what you said when you are a demon if you promise to never judge me for what I say when I’m drunk, okay?”

He chuckled softly. “Deal.”

Then he placed a faint kiss on my head.

“I love you.”, he whispered once my eyes had already closed.

“I love you too.”, I answered and held me tight as we both fell asleep quickly.

Chapter 20

How is it possible to wake after probably ten hours of sleep and still feel so tired?

That was my first thought when I woke up. But as I turned around, the bed was empty. I had even slept through Dean leaving the bed, which was rather uncommon for me.

I tried not to think of it too much and sat up in the bed. But just the next moment, everything was spinning. The world was swaying and I could only hold on to the bedframe as the feeling washed over me.

It didn’t exactly stop, but it slowed. And when the nausea hit me, I realized that the world hadn’t actually swayed.

Something’s wrong.

“Dean?”, I shouted and closed my eyes in hopes that it would finally calm.

But as soon as a pair of boots entered my field of vision, the nausea hit me.

“Shit!”, I exclaimed and managed to grab the dustbin next to bed before I emptied my stomach inside it.

What is going in? I feel sicker than I’ve ever felt before in my life.

“Y/n? What’s wrong?”, Deans voice pulled me back to reality and I only now realized that he was stroking my back.

“I don’t know.”, I managed, “I don’t feel so good.”

I turned back to him, abandoning the dustbin and trying to smile. But then he suddenly moved and everything was strange.

No. He didn’t move. I did.

I’d almost fallen over onto the bed, but Dean grabbed me by the shoulders and held me.

“Y/n? Can you hear me?”, he shouted. I wanted to answer, but I was so tired and couldn’t really focus on speaking right now.

The next thing I felt were his strong hands lifting me up and carrying me through the bunker. And then the pain settled in. Like someone had lit my nerves on fire. It was burning right through me.

Suddenly, I was placed on a couch and hands were feeling my forehead.

“She’s burning up.”, Cas spoke and I tried to focus on their voices.

The pain receded a little and I managed to fully come back to myself.

“What is happening to me?”, I asked, using all the time I had.

Sam also entered my field of vision, a book in his hand.

“It’s the trials. Now that we have completed all three, all the power is going through her.”

As if he commanded it, the pain rolled over me once more. It travelled through each and every one of my cells and all I could do was scream and fight to stay awake.

I barely manage it.

“Please, make it stop.”, I begged Dean who was still holding my hand.

“What do we have to do?”, he asked, looking at his brother for help.

“We have to cast the spell.”, Sam said.

Cas nodded and continued. “The power will leave her body and finally seal the gates of hell.”

“What will happen to her?”, Dean asked.

Cas looked at me. “The power will kill her. We just have to hope that she will wake once more.”

Dean looked back at me, worry filling his expression.

“It’s okay. Do it.”, I said, barely getting the words out. Then the pain came back.

For a moment, my head lolled back and I lost it. But just for a second. Then Sam’s words pulled me back. I tried to make out their meaning, but then I realized that there wasn’t one. It was Latin.

I was glad that they were doing it. But with every word that left Sam’s lips, the pain increased.

So I did the only thing I could: I screamed. I held onto Dean’s hand and hoped that I would finally pass out. And after another wave of pain – I did.

I have to say: I expected a lot. But the bright light was indeed a little cliche.

Once the light disappeared, I was standing on a meadow. Flowers were blooming all around and the sun was kissing them.

“The hell? Were am I?”, I mumbled.

“Not in hell, to be sure.”, a voice behind me spoke and made me spin around faster than a greyhound.

The man behind me looked quite normal. He seemed to be between thirty and forty, had a beard and smiled at me. My best guess was that he was an angel. Which meant that we were...

“Is this heaven?”, I asked, cautiously looking around. It sure was beautiful here.

“Yes.”, the man answered, “But you’re not staying.”

“I can go back?”. My excitement was too obvious.

He nodded.

“Are you an angel? I thought all the angels had fallen?”

He smiled. “They did. So I had to come back to see what was going on here.”

Now my smile faded and panic spread in my stomach.

“Oh, God.”

He chuckled. “Yes. But no need for panic. I’m not here to punish you. I’m going to send you back.”

“Why?”, I asked, then I got a hold of myself, “I mean, I’m really grateful for it. But I’m just wondering.”

He shrugged, folding his hands behind his back. “I don’t know. You really messed up that story, you know that?”

He threw me a smile and I tried to look apologetic even though I had zero clue what he meant.

“It was never supposed to be this way. But now I’m kind of invested in it. It’s like... an anomaly. Not how I intended it, but I guess I can let this one play out.”

I was still smiling like some idiot, not understand anything, but going with the flow.

He shook his head as if only now remembering that I was still there.

“Alright. Time to go back. They are worried about you. I also removed the mark of Cain from Dean’s arm, that would have only caused trouble, trust me.”

He raised his hand as if he wanted to do something with it, but then he hesitated.

“Oh, and if you see Castiel down there... Tell him that he can finally stop looking for me and for his place on earth. He’s found it. He just needs to realize it.”

Now I was the one chuckling. “I will.”

And then, with a smile, he snapped his fingers and a bright light swallowed me.

Someone said my name and I couldn’t quote place where I was or where the voice was coming from. But then I opened my eyes and I was looking right into Dean’s green worried ones.

“I’m so glad you’re alive.”, he whispered and before I could answer, he kissed me.

“Oh, get a room.”, Sam laughed and I broke off the kiss.

Sam smiled a broad smile. “Just kidding. I’m also really glad you’re alive.”

“Did it work?”, I asked, “Are all the demons gone?”

“We can’t know yet.”, Cas answered and I only now spotted him in the chair at the table.

Wasn’t there something I wanted to tell Cas?

I couldn’t remember. “So what? We just go hunting like normal and if we don’t encounter any demons for two weeks, we’re safe?”

Cas chuckled. “Kind of. We could also try to summon one, but that works just as good.”

Dean looked down for a moment and I noticed that his mind was absent.

“What’s wrong?”, I asked.

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I just feel... different. I can’t really say...”

Suddenly, his eyes widened and he started rolling up the sleeve of his arm.

“What the-?”, he stared, but we all followed his gaze.

Cas was the first one to state the obvious. “The mark of Cain. It’s gone!”

And just as if that had been the trigger, I remembered everything.

My loud gasp was enough to ensure everyone’s attention.

“God did it.”, I just said and I immediately wished for a camera to capture their faces.

After I had told them all that God had said to me, everyone was silent.

“Cas? Do you think that could have really been him?”, Sam asked.

Cas nodded. “I don’t know of any other being to send her back just like that. It must have been.”

Dean’s brows furrowed. “But what does that mean? What is an anomaly?”

Cas shrugged. “Maybe y/n was never meant to join our team. But maybe because her parents made her invincible, she survived the attack and managed to become a hunter.”

“So God didn’t intend for me to survive?”, even just speaking that out loud made it sound ridiculous.

“I guess so.”, Cas just answered like he was talking about the weather, “Your story changed our story.”

Everyone was dead silent for a moment.

I was the first to keep wondering. “And... what does that now mean for us?”

Dean smiled, reached for my hand and answered: “We keep on doing what we do best: Saving people, hunting things. I think the family business just grew. Well... more like: The family grew.”

Cas and I smiled.

“Alright then. Let’s get this story to continue.”, I smiled and kissed Dean – not caring that Sam and Cas were still in the room.

And just like that – the thing that nearly killed me lead me to the thing I had searched for my whole life:

A family.