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Jungkook sat cross-legged on the couch with Bam curled up tightly against his side. The only light in the room came from his phone screen, casting a faint blue glow on his face. The group chat was still going even though it was late at night. More texts began popping up by the second, but he wasn’t really reading them anymore.
Namjoon had just sent another meme. Hoseok was teasing everyone like always. Yoongi kept replying with one-liners so dry they made Jungkook snort under his breath...but it was all starting to sound fake. Everyone was trying too hard to act normal, like pretending everything was okay could somehow delay what was coming. But all it did was make the weight of it settle deeper...heavier, right in the middle of Jungkook’s chest.
Tomorrow, Jin hyung will be shaving his hair.
And after that, everything would start changing.
He knew it. He had known it the moment the enlistment news had dropped...no…he had known it even before that, but he was trying to pretend it wasn't real.... But knowing didn’t make it easier either... It just made it hurt more.
His stomach twisted up in that way it always did when something scared him more than he could admit. He hated change. He hated when things shifted without his say-so. But he especially hated it when the change involved Jin.
Everyone knew... Their friends, their families, even their fans…everyone knew that there was something between them. Something that had never really needed to be said out loud. It was in the way Jungkook looked at Jin when he didn’t think anyone was paying attention. It was in the way Jin’s voice changed...softened, deepened... his eyes turning soft...whenever he was speaking to Jungkook. Even when he was scolding him, it sounded like something else. Like affection in disguise
But they had never said it out loud... Not to each other. Not to anyone. Maybe because it was too obvious. Maybe because saying it would make it too real. Or maybe... maybe because they were just cowards.
He rolled his head back, staring up at the ceiling, phone still clutched loosely in his hand. His thumb hovered over Jin’s name in his contacts, that familiar ache blooming in his chest again. He just… needed to hear his voice... He felt like he would die if he didn't. He had sworn to go offline for a few days and avoid everything until the enlistment day. But how could he , when Jin was as essential to his life as the air in his lungs? How was he supposed to act like he didn’t care?
He couldn’t tell if he was angry, or sad, or scared...maybe it was all of it. He didn’t know. He just knew that the silence in his room felt louder than ever now. And he missed his hyung. He knew he’d miss him even more from tomorrow, because despite everything...despite their separate lives and careers...just knowing that Jin was still there, still in his apartment in Seoul, just one short car ride away, had always been a relief.
And then, suddenly, the silence was shattered by the sound of his phone buzzing against his palm. Jungkook sighed and looked at it...he saw Jin’s name lighting up the screen.
Hyung was calling!
He sat up straight and answered it without thinking much , pressing the phone so tight to his ear he could hear the little rasp in Jin’s breath before he even spoke.
"Yah..." Jin said, his voice lighter than Jungkook had expected. “Why are you so quiet today, huh? Why won't you reply to my messages?"
Jungkook went silent for a few moments and later flopped onto his back on the couch with a sigh. Bam shifted to press closer to him , his tail thumping once when he heard Jin’s voice. Jungkook reached to pet him absentmindedly, but his mouth refused to move the way he wanted. He wanted to say something sarcastic. But it caught in his throat... He just grunted instead.
"You are not going to ghost me the night before my big day, are you?" Jin teased.
Jungkook snorted, even though it came out more like a sigh. “You are already ugly, hyung…” he muttered. "Shaving your hair won’t change much..." he scoffed.
There was a pause...just a second of it before Jin burst into laughter. That full, warm sound that always made Jungkook's chest tighten and his throat burn with something he couldn’t name
"Good to know I have your full support…" Jin said between chuckles, "So you are coming tomorrow? To watch? Most of them chickened out...said they were busy...it's just Yoongi now..."
Jungkook stared at the ceiling, eyes burning. He hated how tight his chest felt. Hated how hard it was to say yes.
“Yeah...” he managed, his voice sounding a little scratchy. “Wouldn’t miss seeing you become ugly...”
Jin gasped from the other side. “Yah! I’m going to be a handsome soldier. Show some respect..."
"You’ll be ugly…” Jungkook said it again and forced a laugh. “But I’ll still watch…”
They bantered like that for a while. Jin joked about haunting Jungkook as a bald ghost. Jungkook called him an old man. They laughed too much and too hard, filling all the empty cracks in the conversation where the sadness was trying to seep in...then the inevitable silence followed. Both of them reached that point where they knew they had run out of silly excuses to avoid the real thing...they had to talk...the real kind of talk!
"Are you scared?" Jungkook asked softly.
Jin hummed. "Little bit…" he admitted after a pause. The honesty in his voice hit Jungkook harder than expected. “Not about the hair. That’ll grow back....”
Jungkook swallowed. “Then what?”
“Leaving you...” The answer was immediate.
That did it.... The ache burst wide open in Jungkook’s chest. He clenched the couch cushion with one hand, fingers curling hard around its fabric. He wanted to cry…he really did!! But he knows he shouldn't.
"I’m going to miss you, Jungkook-ah." Jin said, soft and simple, like it wasn’t meant to break him.
Jungkook blinked fast. “Liar…” he muttered, his voice dangerously close to cracking. “You’ll forget me in two weeks....You will make so many friends there, and you will forget me."
“Impossible. You are like a parasite...a parasite I have been carrying around for about 12 years,” Jin shot back.
Jungkook huffed a shaky laugh. “Wow. So romantic...you should write that on a card!”
Jin didn't say anything back, but Jungkook could feel the little smile on his face even from far away.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do without you annoying me every day...hyung will really miss you, Jungkook-ah." Jin added after a while.
Jungkook buried his face under his blanket. Jin couldn’t see him, but it still made him feel a little safer.
“You’ll survive..." he mumbled, swallowing down, trying to keep himself in check.
“I’ll try…” Jin said,
“Promise you’ll visit me?” He asked after a moment.
“I don’t know, hyung," Jungkook said , honestly.
"You better come...
Jungkook hummed in response. He knew he probably wouldn’t be able to do it…he wasn’t that strong. Missing Jin was one thing. But seeing Jin again and pretending like it didn’t hollow him out a little more each time… he wasn’t built for that.
They stayed like that on the phone, talking about nothing in particular...random things, half-finished thoughts...until Jungkook’s voice began to slur, until his eyelids grew too heavy to fight. Jin kept talking, telling dumb stories and how much he hated winter, like he could hold back the night with just his words.
And somewhere in between, Jungkook finally slipped into sleep.
That night, he dreamed of sunlight.
☁️☁️☁️☁️
The next morning felt like a completely different world. Something about the air had changed overnight. Maybe it was just in Jungkook’s head, but everything around looked kind of dull in his eyes.
When he finally arrived at the company's makeup room, the usual chatter and noises were missing . Only a few of the older staff were there...including their camera noona, who had seen them through a lot...but no one said anything. Everyone was moving on autopilot, their eyes a little too glossy.
Jin was already seated in the center chair. The stylist stood beside him with the clippers in hand; even her expression was neutral. She wasn't talking or laughing like she usually did.
“Yahh… you are late…” Jin muttered without looking up, trying to sound casual, but Jungkook knew it wasn't really that.
Jungkook tried to match the energy anyway, because what else could he do? “Why are you complaining? I kept an alarm for this, didn’t I?” He lifted his mask up higher to shield his face fully. “Now hurry up and get it over with... I need to go back to sleep...”
"This punk..." Jin muttered as usual before sitting up straight for the stylist to begin her job.
Jungkook didn’t miss the way Yoongi looked at him from across the room. It was only for a second, but it said everything. Like he knew. Like he could see right through the mask and the joke and the way Jungkook had taken too long to show up because, in reality, he had spent the first thirty minutes after waking up sitting on the edge of his bed, frozen, trying not to lose it before the day even started
Yoongi was already sitting off to the side, back straight and his arms folded tight like he was holding himself together. He had a mask on and a cap pulled low, the same as the rest of them, but it didn’t hide how his hands kept moving. Fingers twitching, pulling at his sleeves like he couldn’t sit still. Jungkook didn’t need to ask. He could tell Yoongi was barely holding it in. They all were... He knew very well why the others didn’t even show up for this. Because two years felt too long to even imagine.... Eighteen months, if you tried to be more exact, sounded easier to say. But it still felt like forever. They spent their entire youth together...and now they’re being torn apart. And Jin, the one who was always their pillar, their constant… he is the one leaving first. It felt like the world was crumbling beneath them.
Jungkook stayed near the chair silently. He didn’t move…didn’t speak. The mask on his face made it easier...it gave him something to hide behind. Something to help him pretend that everything was normal, even when his chest was tight and he could feel the sting behind his eyes.
He watched as Jin made jokes as usual and smiled like it was no big deal. Every time the clippers passed over his head and hair fell, he made some weird sound or laughed too hard, like it was all just for fun. But after a while, the noise faded. It got quiet again... Jin began to stare at the mirror, not saying much now. His face didn’t give anything away, but Jungkook could still feel it.
He didn’t laugh with him...he couldn’t. He just kept watching, eyes stuck on Jin like he was trying to memorize every second of this ...his smiling face and the sound of his laughter. Because he knew Jin wasn't doing it for himself. He was doing it for them...and for the fans and for the staff. Trying to make it easier. Trying to stop people from feeling too emotional. And for a while, it almost worked...
Until the clippers stopped!
Jin stood up, ran his fingers through what was left of his hair, brushed the loose pieces off his shoulders, and turned back to them with a perfect salute. That same smile on his face, like he was proud of it...
“Yah, I look uglier than I expected…” he said, laughing again like it was nothing. Like he didn’t see how nobody could move.
But Jungkook thought he looked beautiful. Not the kind of beautiful you see in magazines. Not the kind with styled hair or perfect clothes. The kind that makes your chest hurt. The kind that comes from standing tall even when everything is heavy.... Brave...honest and real!
But he didn’t say any of that. He just shrugged like it didn’t matter.
Jin looked at him for a moment, waiting for something from him...still smiling.
“You are always ugly. What’s new?” Jungkook mumbled, rolling his eyes. He tried to make it sound like a joke, but his voice cracked halfway through.
The others laughed a little, and Yoongi gave him a small smack on the back like he was teasing. Jin didn’t stop smiling at them...but Jungkook saw the shine in his eyes.
Then Jin walked over and ruffled his hair like always. “You are the ugly one now, kangaroo. I’m always handsome. Don’t you know that?”
Jungkook ducked his head, biting back a smile that never really formed.
Later, after the official photos and videos, Jin made a quick video call to Taehyung, who was still abroad. While he was at it, Jungkook quietly slipped away and locked himself in one of the stalls in their private bathrooms.
He sat on the closed lid and leaned forward, pressing his forehead against the cold wall. His breath came out shaky....He sat there until the tears started falling ...until the few drops of tears turned into a full-blown cry... He cried like he hadn’t in years. Like everything he had held back was crashing into him all at once. His nose was so clogged he couldn’t breathe properly. But he couldn’t stop. He didn’t want to be strong right now....He didn’t want to pretend.
Because he hated this... hated how it felt... hated crying like this...he hated this stupid ache in his chest and the heat behind his eyes and the loneliness already curling its way into his stomach even though Jin hadn’t even left yet.
A soft knock on the stall door made him jump.
“Jungkook-ah,” Yoongi’s calm voice came through.
“I’m fine…” he said, though it didn’t even sound like his own voice.
“No, you are not…” Yoongi said firmly. “Come out…right now!!"
Jungkook sniffled and slowly opened the lock with trembling fingers. He didn't even bother to wipe down his face to look more presentable, because why bother?! Yoongi already knows!!
Yoongi didn’t say anything when he saw the state Jungkook was in. He just stepped forward and pulled him into a hug. No questions.... No explanations. Just arms around his brother's shoulders and a hand rubbing slow circles into his back
“You’ll be okay,” he said softly.
Jungkook nodded into his shoulder. His eyes were still red. His breaths still uneven...and he was glad Yoongi came to find him at that moment. Maybe he needed to hear something reassuring like that .
Jin found them like that a few minutes later—Jungkook still in Yoongi’s arms, face red and puffy, breathing a little hard. He didn’t say anything. He just walked over and opened his arms the second he saw Jungkook’s face...like he didn’t need to ask, like he already knew what had happened…he had already expected it.
And Jungkook didn’t even think. He just turned and walked straight into them, burying his face in Jin’s shoulder without a word. His arms wrapped tight around Jin’s waist . They stood like that for a long moment. Neither of them said anything, because there wasn’t anything that needed to be said. Everything was already there...and they felt it all in the worst way possible.
“I told you not to cry..." Jin whispered, against Jungkook's hair.
“You tell me a lot of things...” Jungkook whispered back. “When have I ever listened?”
Behind them, Yoongi let out a small groan..trying to keep it light but not quite managing it. “Go home...” he muttered. “Both of you... Please. I’m begging now…”
🌦️🌦️🌦️🌦️🌦️🌦️
Jin finished up the last of what he had to do. Some paperwork, a few formalities. Then he met his parents and family at his brother’s place for a while. They had a meal together, and they didn’t ask too many questions when he said he was heading home with Jungkook.
They just let him go.
And so, he went. Back to his place. They didn’t talk much once they got there. Ordered food but didn’t eat it. Let it sit on the table, still in the bags. The TV was on, some drama playing, but neither of them paid any attention to it. They just sat there side by side on the couch.
But Jungkook kept glancing at him... At how the new buzz cut made Jin’s jaw look sharper. Even with all the change, even with the day they just had, he still looked like Jin. Still smiled like Jin. That same soft, crinkled eye smile and red ears that he loved so much.
He reached out slowly, tugging Jin’s legs into his lap. His hand rested there for a while before he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of Jin’s knee.
He remembered doing that once on camera a few years ago. The fans had gone wild over that at that time... The memory made him smile faintly, just for a second. Then he looked up at Jin again. “I’ll wait for you…” he said, out of nowhere, like the words had been waiting on the edge of his tongue all night.
Jin turned to him with wide eyes. He looked surprised...like for a second, he didn’t know how to answer.
“You... you don’t have to...”
“I want to!"
Jin looked at him for a long time after that. Like he had a hundred things to say, and none of them would come out right. In the end, he just smiled and looked away.
“You’ll be busy anyway...” he said quietly. “Albums, shows, fans... your solo career is going to kick-start. You have got a big year ahead. Besides... you won’t even be here when I come back. You’ll be the one in the military by then…”
Jungkook frowned a little and shrugged. “So? ....I’ll wait anyway,” he said again, more certain now. “Would you... wait for me too?” He looked up with wide eyes, like he already knew the answer but needed to hear it anyway.
Jin blinked, then licked his lips. They were still talking in codes. Still not saying things in full sentences. But maybe they didn’t need to spell anything out. They had been speaking this way for years. And it was enough...
He swallowed and leaned forward to cup Jungkook’s cheek, thumb brushing just beneath his eye. “Idiot…” he whispered and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I’ll always wait for you. You don’t even have to ask...”
Jungkook sniffled, nodded once, and leaned back, eyes glassy but much calmer than before. The food was still sitting there. The show was still running.... But for the first time all day, the air around them didn’t feel so heavy.
⛅⛅⛅⛅⛅
The next day came faster than anyone wanted. They all gathered at the base...members, managers, and Jin’s family. The air was colder than expected, biting through their jackets. Maybe it was just the nerves.
Jungkook stood off to the side for most of it, watching Jin greet everyone and smile for the cameras in his long padded coat and cap pulled low. There were a lot of reporters...a lot of other people enlisting and their families. And Jin was trying his best to act like this was just another event, like his hands weren’t buried in his pockets to hide the shake. He was stressed...Worried... The uncertainty of it all was eating at him...his career, his life, everything was hanging in the air. And then there was Jungkook too.
Jungkook’s eyes burned more than he expected. He thought spending the night together, reassuring each other about the future, was probably enough to keep a straight face the next day...but nothing prepared him for the weight of the real thing crashing down on him... He kept blinking back the tears. He had a mask on, but he wasn't sure how much of his real expression it was hiding. Because Jin always believed his eyes said everything, even when his mouth stayed quiet.
And...Jin noticed, of course. He always did. And even with all those eyes on him and the flurry of people surrounding him...he still found a way to reach out...an awkward flick of Jungkook’s cap, a quick pinch to his cheek to reassure him...but his eyes darted to the cameras like he just remembered too late they were being watched, and his hand disappeared fast…he shoved it back into his coat pocket like nothing happened.
The others gathered around soon after, doing their best to make it feel normal. They cracked jokes, rubbed Jin’s freshly shaved head, and took selfies and group photos like they usually do. But the heaviness was still there...none of their smiles reached their eyes. Everyone was hurting, even if no one said it out loud. They were holding it together for Jin, and maybe for themselves too...because they all knew their turns were coming.
Jungkook forced himself to smile and to laugh when the others did. But it didn’t feel real. His chest was hurting, and no amount of pretending could fix that. He took a photo with Jin too, of course. The last one before Jin would go inside. But it was awkward...and stiff...unlike their other pictures together. The mask didn't hide his real feelings one bit, and the space between them in the frame looked like a mile...but they didn't have much time to worry about all that...it was finally time to go.
After the initial admission ceremony, Jin gave his final bow to everyone. His posture is perfect as always. His voice was strong as he yelled a 'see you soon.' And then, just as he turned to walk through the gate, he looked back one last time.
Maybe it looked like he did it for everyone...for the fans and for his family. But Jungkook knew that look was meant for him. He could feel it in the way Jin’s eyes found his, like no one else was there.
He knew it in his chest, in his bones...
His eyes welled up again...but before the tears could fall, he felt a gentle hand on his back. He gulped and turned...it was Jin’s mother. She didn’t say anything…just gave a small nod. Her eyes were damp too, but her face was calm. It felt like she knew everything would be okay.
And in that moment, Jungkook did too.... He knew he would wait. For as long as it took…
Even if it felt like a lifetime.
🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️🌤️