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Riken never said much. Sometimes she wished he would say more. But there was always so much being said in his words and the dark of his eyes. Susukihotaru almost felt silly remembering how nervous she had been when they'd first met. Almost. She'd never been around many men before so it only made sense that she was scared to be around a man so much taller than her with shoulders broader than she was wide. But he was nothing but a gentle giant. And here they were now, entwined without having said anything. But she wished he would say something.
On the bridge that evening as they looked for Kokkuri-san, she had tried to push him to cross the gap that had already been shrunk thanks to her power to read what it was he was feeling, but Susukihotaru had grown greedy. She knew he cared for her, deeply. He knew that she was unquestionably important to him. But knowing that didn't stop her from wondering if she was reading him incorrectly. Zakuro and the twins were much prettier than her, she thought, so it's unlikely that she out of all of them would have caught his eye with her beauty. Maybe he cared for her like a younger sister, especially because of her diminutive size. Maybe he was just this caring towards everyone he worked with. She wanted him to say something. But upon seeing her face flushed with nerves and courage, he brought her a drink to cool down what he thought was a rising fever instead of cooling the fears in her heart. She felt embarrassed to have walked away from him so suddenly but she couldn't bear to look at him.
The gap shrunk again when she thought they would be forced to part ways, his yukata clutched close in her arms. There was something so dreadfully tender about the way he said her name, each time like a whisper of something he was savouring on his breath. Her heart was thudding in her chest, against his chest, so painfully when he embraced her that for once she couldn't tell what he was thinking. The embrace he held her in, tightening as he told her that it wasn't goodbye, said so much. But she still wanted to hear more.
"Susukihotaru." She blinked, looking up from her tea. "Your face is red," said Riken softly in her ear, making her flush darker. Of course it was! The whole table had just heard that Zakuro and Agemaki had k-kissed the other day! How could her face not be red hearing such things? Especially when the sound of the word only made her think about the man next to her…
"I-Is that so?" was all she managed to respond with, drinking her tea a little too quickly. She spluttered as some of it went down the wrong way and covered her mouth with her kimono sleeve. "Ex-Excuse me!" She darted away from the table, her padded footfalls on the tatami as quick as her heartbeat. Hozuki and Bonbori looked between the vanishing silhouette of their friend and the stoic man she'd left behind. A smug smile bloomed on both of their faces, barely hidden behind the sleeved hands brought up to cover their mouths.
"Riken-san," crooned Hozuki, "maybe you should go check on her, make sure she's alright~"
"I think you should," chimed Bonbori in that voice of bells just like that of her sister. "I think you should make sure she's doing okay~"
"Mm." He rose to his feet in near silence and excused himself, following after her into the next room. The twins giggled, Ganryu sandwiched between them confused.
"Susukihotaru-kun?"
She whipped around at the sound of her name coming out of his mouth, face flushed. The half-spirit had just managed to get her breathing under control but the sight of him entering the room, clearly looking after her since she'd ran away so hurriedly. "Riken-sama…"
"Are you okay? Do you need some water?"
"No thank you, I'm fine." She turned away, her ear twitching in embarrassment. She felt the weight of his shadow and the warmth of his body as he came closer to her; her shoulders stiffened. She almost didn't want him to come any closer for fear that he'd manage to somehow hear how loudly her heart was thumping.
"Agemaki and Zakuro-kun got very close when we weren't looking," said Riken.
"I-Indeed." She brought her hands close to her chest to try and smother her heartbeat. It was in moments like that she was glad that no one else was able to hear her thoughts the way she was able to hear those of others. She would die of embarrassment if he were to find out that she too wanted to take their relationship further. But they hadn't even confessed to each other yet. How improper of her to want to kiss when they hadn't even held hands yet. Susukihotaru's mind returned to the fiery embrace they'd had a couple days earlier and let out a small squeak. Of all times to remember that…
Yoshinozakura watched her from behind, seeing her small shoulders shake. She was so small-boned like a bird. He found himself wanting to hold her quite a lot, wanting to take her into his arms and keep her there. Would it be wrong of him to embrace her right then?, he wondered.
He exhaled quietly in the prolonged silence and noticed her startle at the sound. She seemed deep in thought in something other than the fact that she'd choked a little on her tea. Perhaps it would be best to leave her alone. He didn't want to add to whatever anxiety she was feeling so he turned to leave saying, "I'm glad you're okay. I was concerned about you. I'll see you back at the tea table." He took one socked step towards the door before he felt a tug on the bottom hem of his jacket.
He looked down to see her holding him back. Her pretty purple eyes were downturned, her dark lashes brushing against her soft pinkening cheeks. Her ears were similarly downturned as if she were sad. There was something so precious about the way she was easier to read than she probably thought she was, even if just to him. He waited for her to speak, unmoving. She mumbled something, running words over her tongue and lips, but no sentences came out.
"I—" He waited. She glanced up at him and saw the dark clearness of his eyes staring down at her. The drip drops of words dried up in her throat the second their eyes met. She let go of the fabric gripped between fingers. "Nevermind."
They had a number of moments like this. Moments where she seemed like she wanted to say something but never managed to. Yoshinozakura found it puzzling. He wanted to push a little, ask her what she wanted to say, but he felt it would be unfair. Especially considering that it wasn't as if he were a man of many words himself. But today something came over him. It felt like he might know what she was trying to say. Maybe they had something similar on the mind.
Yoshinozakura gently took part of her slender hand into his. She startled again but didn't pull her hand away. That was good enough. "What did you want to say?" Her face darkened, feeling the affection in his heart he presumed, but she kept silent some more. He waited. In his mind he did his best to say that he didn't mind how long it took for her to manage to speak. He hoped that it would reach her.
"…dating," she said after a minute.
"Hm?"
"D-Do you think Zakuro and Agemaki-san are dating?!" she spluttered.
Riken blinked. "Maybe," he replied after some thought. "I don't see Agemaki as the type to kiss a girl he isn't interested in going out with."
"Eh… Is that so…"
Her ears wiggled some more. "Is that what you wanted to ask me?"
"P-Pardon?"
"You seemed very nervous to ask what was on your mind."
She fidgeted where she stood. "N-No…" He watched. She fidgeted more.
"Is that what you wanted to ask me?" The blush on her face made him worry she might have a fever.
She shut down. He found it best not to push her anymore than that, worried she might grow dizzy and faint from all the blood that seemed to be rushing to her face. He wanted to offer to get her something cool to drink to calm her down but the last time it had made her angry for some reason so he decided against it.
The two of them stood there, hand in hand. He found him fiddling with her fingers, rubbing his hands roughened from swinging his saber over the soft delicate hands of his co-worker. Calling her a co-worker felt like too little and calling her a friend felt not enough. But they hadn't decided upon anything else. She had to know how he'd felt by now. But then he recalled what she had said on the bridge. "The desire to hear someone say he loves you, to know how that person feels… It's a powerful emotion."It seemed as though he'd made the wrong choice then. So he decided to try something different.
"Susukihotaru."
"Y-Yes?!"
"I like you."
Her mouth fell open agape, her whole face a deep crimson. "I— I—"
"Is that bad of me?"
"N-No… I just wasn't expecting to hear it." Her hand slipped deeper in to his. "You like me."
"Yes, I like you." Susukihotaru squeaked.
"Y-You don't have to say it so much."
"I thought you wanted to hear me say it."
She shifted where she stood. "I do. I just don't know what to do with myself now that I've heard you say it." She glanced up at him shyly, face still darkened. "I'm happy to hear that."
"Susukihotaru."
"Y-Yes?"
"How do you feel about me?"
"H-How—"
"I realised I want to hear it too."
She stared down at her feet. She went silent. He waited. "Riken-sama."
"Mm."
"I like you."
"I'm glad."