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Quan Yizhen sniffed at the clothes and sniffed again. The scent had long left it, but he had hoped some could be found. With frustration, he tossed it aside and grabbed another from the nest. It was a useless endeavor, its been decades since Yin Yu’s touched any of it.
With tears in his eyes and a growl growing in his throat, it was looking like another lonely, painful heat.
~
Yin Yu was back! But…
Why wasn’t he with Yizhen? Was it because he was bad? Was he a bad omega? Where was his beta? Where was Yin Yu?
… Why wouldn’t his followers shut up about Yin Yu?! Why won’t they leave him alone!!!
~
Yin Yu was having a normal day, as normal as it could be in Ghost City. He carried out his duty of keeping the city in controlled chaos; breaking up fights, taking statements, collecting dues, listening for information, and helping with paperwork. Not to busy, but not too calm, a normal day.
Until His Highness arrived in the Gamblers’ Den with far too many gods and made an incredibly awkward request of him.
“You… Want my scent?” Yin Yu asked, hoping he misheard.
“Yes.” Xie Lian nods, looking just as uncomfortable about this.
“Why would yo-”
“Qi Ying’s gone fucking feral, that’s why!” Feng Xin yells, gesturing to the group’s injuries. Of the assembled gods, Xie Lian and Ling Wen were the only ones not visibly injured, while the rest looked like they wrestled and lost to a yao.
A feral omega with godly martial strength sounded like a nightmare to encounter. “I don’t see how my scent would help. Wouldn’t an alpha’s scent help better?”
A loud chorus of 'No's sounded through the assembled gods, those he could recognize being alphas.
“He’s never accepted an alpha’s scenting in the past and even Xie Lian’s offer of scenting was viewed as an attack.” Mu Qing huffs.
“How is this any different than usual for the dog?” Hua Cheng drawls, seeming to be unaffected, but Yin Yu knew he was jealous that Xie Lian offered to scent a different omega.
“He’s attacking everyone.” Pei Ming explains. At Hua Cheng’s raised eyebrow, he elaborates, “he normally spends his heats inside his palace and blocks out everyone.”
“So it’s pretty fucking unusual that he’s almost killing his own followers! Not to mention, us!” Feng Xin pipes up again.
The follower thing was normal, but to attack more gods than normal was concerning. “I’m not certain my scent would calm him down.”
Ling Wen took a deep breath, then turned to the other gods. “Leave.”
Yin Yu has never seen Ling Wen flaunt status as an alpha, but with a single word, almost every martial god fled from the den. She faces Yin Yu and lets her grip go on one end of the scroll she was holding, letting it roll and roll until it hit the bottom of the steps, not fully unraveling. From what he could see, it was a list of dates during the last century. “What is this?”
“A list of all the days that General Qi Ying had asked me if there was any sign of you.” She channeled some qi through the scroll and it began the slow journey of rolling itself up. “Even if you don’t believe that it would be a good idea, we do.”
“You don’t even have to be there,” Xie Lian pleads, “we even have an object you can scent so that we don’t have to borrow something of yours.”
It wasn’t like he had a choice when it came to His Highness. Holding in a sigh, he asks, “what do you wish for me to scent?”
Perking up, Xie Lian pulls a small fabric animal out of a pouch and almost runs over to hand it to him. Getting a better look at it, it was a scenting doll designed to look like a panther with little stars, an unusual design for a scenting doll. Turning away from the few gods left, he pulled up his sleeve and pressed the doll against the exposed gland.
Yin Yu tried not to put negative emotions into the scent, but he was almost certain he was failing as he felt the gods’ eyes on him. Taking a breath to center himself, he tried focusing on a happy memory. What came to mind was a memory of their sect days. Him taking care of the omega’s hair, then Yizhen trying to braid the beta’s hair.
It was sweet, even after all this time, but his own guilt tinted it and turned it bittersweet, though he tried not to linger on that feeling. Once he was sure that it was full enough for a few weeks, he turned back and dropped it into Xie Lian’s pouch.
Ling Wen leaned over it and took a sniff, making a face at what she smelled. “It will do.”
“Are you trash done harassing my officer?” Hua Cheng asked, though all assembled knew it wasn’t a question, a thinly veiled command to leave for everyone but Xie Lian.
“Yes, we’ll be on our way.” Ling Wen answered, before any of the others could put their foot in their mouth and extend the visit. Bowing deeply to them, “Thank you, Crimson Rain Sought Flower, Waning Moon Officer.”
“I’ll be back after Qi Ying’s settled.” Xie Lian hugs his husband and kisses him. He left with the others, doll pouch held carefully.
Yin Yu hoped that would be the end of that.
It wasn’t.
It became a new routine, every few months he’d give his scent to the omega without seeing him. It was… weird, to say the least, and he didn’t like the feeling it left him with.
Even watching over Xie Lian as he collected scraps in the mortal realm, Yin Yu couldn’t shake the awful feeling.
“Oh, this is so cute! Yin Yu, look at this doll, isn't it cute?” Xie Lian held up a lion scent doll. It might have been cute when it was first made, but being worn down with use and thrown to the elements did it no favors. It was missing an eye, the fabric on its back worn to the point he could see the filling, its tail had been torn off, two of its legs seams had burst, and patches of fur was missing in the mane.
Eyeing the faded patterns and dulled colors, he nodded.
Xie Lian pets its mane, then tilts his head. “Its hair?”
“Of course.” The beta tilts his head. “Is that a problem?”
Xie Lian quickly shakes his head, “no, no! Its just that I’ve never seen a scent doll with human hair.”
“Really? They were fairly common where I came… from…” Yin Yu paused, remembering several things at once. They weren’t anywhere near his old home, thousand upon thousand miles away, which wouldn’t be a problem for a popular product that traded hands many times, but it never became that. The dolls weren't very marketable, only bought by locals and chance visitors to buy his lions. “Your Highness, this may come across as rude, but do you know what animal this is?”
The alpha brings the doll closer to his face, taking it in. “Hmm, oh! Its a lion! Its been so long since I’d see one on my travels that I almost forgot they were real.”
Yin Yu looked around and saw a familiar path, more worn than before when he and Jian Yu used it to get to the cave nearby. Turning to look at the other end of the path, he saw the village they would buy and sell from, changed but still there. His heart clenched, turning to look at the doll. “.. Your Highness, can I look at it for a moment?”
“Of course.” Xie Lian smiled, easily handing it over. Upon closer inspection, the patterns were very familiar and the hair too.
His stomach filled with guilt and eyes started to sting behind his mask. “I know this doll.”
“You do?”
“It used to be mine.” Yin Yu’s voice broke, hands trembling as his thumb gently stoked it. Yizhen had given it to him on his birthday while they were in the sect, regularly borrowing it to scent before Yin Yu went on missions before the young omega could join. It had been one of the last things he sold to help stave off hunger.
“Want to tell me about them?” Xie Lian asks, resting a hand on Yin Yu’s elbow.
“There was a foreigner who would only sell ‘correct’ lions. He would rant about how ‘no one in this country knows what a real lion looks like’ and he was so mad about it that he dedicated his life to educating us.” He snorts softly, moving his mask to wipe his eyes. “I’m pretty sure he lied about the usefulness of these dolls to trick people into learning about lions.”
“Were they poor quality?”
“No, the dolls were perfectly average scent dolls, but there was a rumor about them.” Yin Yu turns the doll to face Xie Lian. “It was said that if you let him put your hair in it, you’d grow closer to the person you gifted it to. Naturally, those who believed it most were parents or in love, but in the sect many used it for homesickness.”
“And yours? If you don’t mind me prying.”
“A gift from Quan Yizhen before he was allowed on missions.” He held the doll closer. “He said it was so I wouldn’t miss him while I was away.”
Xie Lian gently rubbed his arm.
“It hadn’t smelled like him for years, even before the fall.” Why would it need to? Yizhen would be at his side whenever the omega could.
“Do you want him to scent it?” Xie Lian asks.
His impulse was to say no, the doll was falling apart and had been abandoned by him, it wouldn’t be fair to Yizhen. But neither was what they were doing with Yizhen’s heat arrangement. “I… let me think on it. Please.”
“Of course. Ah, I think its lunch time, lets head back.”
Collecting the bags of scraps, Yin Yu knew that Xie Lian was calling it early for him, he was grateful and mortified. A dice roll and they were back in Ghost City. As soon as he was able to, he excused himself from their presence and holed up in his room.
The beta walked around his room, collecting his sewing materials and filling a bucket full of warm water. There was a surprising amount of kids that would go to the Waning Moon Officer, but he was always willing to help them. He carefully pulled the stuffing out and set it to the side for later, the pushed the rest of the lion into the water. He let it soak while sorting through his fabrics, he didn’t have the same patterned fabric so he tried to find some to compliment it.
With the potential ones selected, he set them to the side and put the rest away. He goes back to the lion, scrubbing the dirt and grime away, but not too rough or it would break more. When the doll rinsed clean, he let it dry and took some measurements.
He considered sending a burst of qi, but decided to let it air dry instead. Staring at it, he let himself think about Yizhen.
Even before the omega ascended, he tried not to think too deeply about him. The easiest explanation was jealousy, and it was mostly true, but it wasn’t the only reason. It was a few years before the beta ascension that he realized that he had a crush on his shidi, he didn’t know how to deal with it.
So he pushed it down and got back to work.
Thinking back on it, that seemed to be his response to most of his emotions. Jealousy? Bottle it up. Romantic feelings? Hide it under the rug. Unsure of what he was doing? Ask someone for work. Feeling inadequate? Fulfill a prayer. Trying to avoid Quan Yizhen? See if Hua Cheng had something for him to do.
If he didn’t know what to do with himself, someone else did.
Laying back in bed, Yin Yu stared at the ceiling. Did he even want to become a god as a child or did one of the elders mention it first? He couldn’t remember, it had been so long ago. There were so many small things that others had said about him in the sect, he started to wonder if what was said about him was him or if it was what others wanted him to be. He wasn’t sure he knew how to exist without others to tell him who to be. A perfect sect sibling, a god, a nearly invisible servant. Who was he outside of these roles?
Maybe that’s why he envied Yizhen so much. He didn’t have to question himself about what he liked, he just knew. He didn’t care what the social order was, didn’t care what people thought omegas should be, didn’t care about godhood. He just was.
But he cared about Yin Yu.
Yin Yu swiftly sat up, staring at the doll. Yizhen cared about him to the point of not caring about others. He cared so deeply to get him a gift anytime he could, even when all he could afford was a flower on the roadside. He cared so much to want to spend time with him anywhere. He cared so much to follow him into Heaven, a nightmare space for most of the time. He cared so much that even after being hurt by Yin Yu, he kept looking for him. He cared so much, he brought Yin Yu’s spirit back. He cared so much that he sought others’ help to get the fallen god back.
A knock at his door takes him out of his thoughts. There’s very few people who know where he lives, so he opens the door.
Hua Cheng stands outside the door, his scent betraying concern. “Can I come inside?”
Yin Yu nods, moving to the side.
The omega walks in and his eye is drawn to the ongoing project by the desk. Looking away, he takes the offered seat, lounging as Yin Yu sat down. “You’ve been overworking yourself.”
Yin Yu looks away, its not like he could hide it when they work so close together. “Yes, Chengzhu.”
“You do know that gege will get onto both of us if this continues, right?”
“Yes.” Yin Yu sighs. Xie Lian meant well, but taking a vacation away from Ghost City was a terrifying concept. Although Hua Cheng had been taking care of the city for centuries before Yin Yu showed up, the omega would rather be with his alpha instead, which led Yin Yu to worry if the city would still run without him.
“Are you close to fixing what you’re trying to run away from?”
The beta glanced at the lion. “I’m… going to try something.”
“Good.” Hua Cheng stood up and left the room, pausing at the door. “Let me know if I need to burn a temple.”
“That’s not necessary.” He was terrified of seeing the god, not wanting him dead!
“Suit yourself.” The sound of his boots hitting the floor quickly died away, most likely teleporting to His Highness’ side.
Yin Yu sighed, looking over to his materials, noticing a new set of fabric. Examining it revealed that it was the same as the lion’s. He wanted to cry, but he held it in. He had work to do with the lion. Measuring then cutting, he added the new fabric under the back of the lion, feeling that covering the worn fabric would be deceptive. He wasn’t sure why he felt that, but he couldn’t deny a certain fondness at seeing the worn material over the new one underneath. He fixed the legs and added a new eye.
He started to make a new tail when he realized a problem, the missing hair.
He was confident in his ability to add hair to it, but he wasn’t sure how he planned on getting some. He knew that the one who sold them would use dog and horse hair when selling his ‘generic’ ones, but this one… Quan Yizhen had said it used his own hair for it. If he wanted it to be closer to the way it was, he’d need to ask the god for hair.
He stared at the mane for a long time.
Yizhen’s hair was necessary.
He moved a hand to his head before pausing. He could just ask the omega, but… if he asked him, that would encourage Yizhen to come to Ghost City, to possibly coming into his room. He didn’t want the inevitable question to be asked, ‘where’s your nest?’ He didn’t know how he’d explain to the other that he hasn’t built a nest in a century, let alone the last one he was in was Jian Yu’s. Not to mention, he was afraid.
He was afraid that communication to Yizhen over the array would be blocked. He knew it was unlikely, but… he was afraid for it to be true.
So he decided to contact someone else.
“Hello, Yin Yu!” Xie Lian answered.
“Hello, Your Highness. Could I..” He braced himself, trying to not back down. It was necessary for the lion. “The next time you go to the Heavenly Courts, could I follow along?”
“Of course. If you don’t mind going sooner, we can leave in just a moment. There’s some things I need to go over with a goddess up there, so it’ll be no trouble to go now.”
He was sure that it was half the truth. Knowing Xie Lian, he was trying to give Yin Yu the least amount of time to over think and back out. He appreciated that, but he also hated it. He puts the lion into his sleeve and made his way to Xie Lian, unsurprised to find Hua Cheng there as well.
Without touching his temple, the Ghost King sends him a message. “I could have gotten it for you.”
That was probably true, but… “It’s probably easier for everyone if I do it instead.”
Hua Cheng shrugged, rolling his dice and taking them into Xie Lian’s palace. Looking around, it was obvious that Xie Lian didn’t spend a lot of time there. The space was filled with scraps with the only obvious path leading to, what Yin Yu could only assume was, the bedroom and the palace lacked the scent of someone spending significant time there.
The three quickly left the building, Yin Yu followed the couple as Qi Ying palace came into view. Slowing to a stop, he stared at the building as the two left him. He needed to go in, but the memory of his pulse beat rapidly. Why couldn’t he move? Go to the door. He’s fought ghosts and yao, why is facing Yizhen more terrifying? It wasn’t that hard, just go to the door.
Hearing footsteps nearing him, Yin Yu became aware that if it wasn’t late at night, so many people would see him pathetically standing there. Shame filling him, he quickly walks to the giant doors. He knocks and waits. And waits and waits and waits. It didn’t seem like anyone was going to answer, but when he went to knock again, the door opened.
Quan Yizhen’s face was scrunched, probably sleeping before this, given that he was just in his inner robes and a blanket thrown around him. The omega sniffs the air, eyes shooting open as he finally registered who was at the door. “Shi-”
“Shhhh!” Yin Yu looks around, he really didn’t need all of heaven to know he was here. “Can I come in?”
Eagerly nodding, Yizhen moves to the side and urges him inside. It was… not empty, but it felt like it was. The palace entrance was large and smelled empty of others. The god’s scent was faint and was the only one Yin Yu could easily detect. Yizhen not having junior officials or regular visitors wasn’t a surprise, but it didn’t make the ghost feel happy. Even taking into account that it was a rebuilt palace, homes would usually smell lived-in less than a few months after a person moved in. Its been a few years since heaven fell, even if the god spent time on missions, the main room shouldn’t smell so unlived in.
“What does Shixiong want?” From anyone else, it would have been with disdain, but Yizhen seemed excited to know. He’s bouncing around, taking things off a couch and throwing them away. Yin Yu winced, noting that some of them seemed like unique and precious offerings.
“I…. Do you remember the lion dolls?” The omega nods, patting a cleaned seat for Yin Yu. The beta sits down, trying to not focus on how Yizhen sat down by him. “I have one that needs repaired and… Could I use your hair for it?”
Yizhen reaches to the ground and picks up a sword, holding it to a large chunk of his hair. With fear, Yin Yu takes the sword away from his head. He didn’t want to be the cause of another scar on the god’s neck. “No!”
“No? But…”
The ghost takes a breath, trying to calm his bloodless heart. “Don’t cut your hair with a sword, its too dangerous and you could hurt yourself. Do you have a smaller blade?”
“En! I have one in my room.” Yizhen jumps over the back of the seat, darting further into the building.
Yin Yu sighs, settling into his seat as he waits and glances around. The items scattered about all looked like things he’d forgotten about. Some of the weapons were ones that Yizhen would have gotten for himself, while the rest looked very out of place with what he remembered of his shidi. While his eyes glazed over an outfit that looked uncomfortable and expensive, he noticed steel under it. Throwing aside the strongly scented fabric, he found a small dagger.
“Yizhen, I found one.” The ghost calls out into the palace. “Yizhen?”
The silence told him that the other hadn’t heard him. With reluctance, he picked himself up and walked further in, following the half remembered path to the old palace’s bedroom. He found the door wide open with the sound of Yizhen shuffling through something. “Yizhen, I found-” He turned the corner into the room without thinking, “-one.”
Yizhen’s room was messy. The mess was expected, Yizhen usually wouldn’t bother cleaning most days until someone got Yin Yu to bother him about it. That wasn’t the problem, the problem was that he recognized a lot of the stuff. There were many things that used to be from the ghost’s old palace, items he got for himself and offering from old worshipers. They weren’t even strewn about like the other offerings in the palace, they were kept together in nests around the room and right around the searching Yizhen.
The god pulls himself out of a chest that reeked enchantments, pulling a few different blades with him. He makes a face at the blade Yin Yu was holding, looked at the ones in his own hands, then offered up a smaller, worn blade. A very familiar blade.
“Where did you get my dagger?”
“From your palace.”
“Why… why do you have things from my old palace?” How where they still around? He was afraid to know.
“So others wouldn’t have it when you came back.”
“I don’t think others would have wanted my things.” His heart ached. Why did Yizhen believe he’d be allowed back into heaven again?
Yizhen frowned, holding the dagger further out for Yin Yu. “They did and they were very nasty, saying it wasn’t yours anymore. So I stole them before others could steal them.”
Yin Yu laughed. It was a very Yizhen solution to this. Taking back his old dagger, the omega smiled and tossed the other blades into the chest again. The beta could feel the magic within the chest shift. “And now that I’m here?”
“You can have them back, if you want them.”
“Even that?” Yin Yu points to a nest that was just a pile of his old clothes, finery he hasn’t worn in a century.
Yizhen pouts, clearly conflicted between his desire to please Yin Yu and his own want to keep it. “Yes, but can I borrow it from time to time?”
The ghost blinked. “I… I wasn’t actually planning on taking it.”
That didn’t seem to be the right answer, with the god huffing and sagging a bit, disappointed. Why was he disappointed? He’s getting to keep the clothes.
“Can you scent the doll before leaving?”
Oh. That’s why. Yin Yu sits down on the floor by him. “I will. Can I cut some of your hair?”
Yizhen nods, moving from a kneeling to cross legged position. Yin Yu shakes his head slightly, moving behind him to find the hair he wants. He didn’t want to take from the top layer, instead taking some from the under layer of his hair. Cutting off what he needed and tying it together, Yizhen, as if sensing the minor haircut was over, darting over to the nest on his bed and picking up the panther doll. He ran back over and dropped to his knees, holding the fabric animal up to him.
Yin Yu’s hands shook as he took the doll. Despite doing this regularly now, it never got less intimidating. He was worried about what kind of scent would get put into it, he wanted it to be… not negative. He pressed the doll to his wrist, ignoring how intensely Yizhen stared at him. As his eyes tried to find somewhere else to look, they landed on the omega’s neck. “You shouldn’t wear scent blockers to bed.”
Yizhen blinks, reaching a hand up to touch it. “I’m not supposed to take it off near others.”
“Who told you that?” It was a suggestion often given to Yizhen when they were mortals because he had a hard time controlling his emotions and scent glands, yet someone else was able to successfully convince him wear them regularly!
“Xie Lian, Ling Wen, Pei Ming, Feng Xin, Mu Qing,” Yizhen kept rattling off names as Yin Yu moved one of his hands off the doll and pressed two fingers to his temple.
“Your Highness, why did you command General Qi Ying to wear scent blockers around others?” He winced at how accusatory that sounded.
“Hello, Yin Yu! So remember when a lot of gods got beat up by him about a year or two ago?”
“I’m aware of the aftermath.”
“During his heat, his scent got even more out of control and hasn’t gone down.”
“So the scent blockers are for others sake between heats.” Yin Yu sighs, knowing with how bad Yizhen’s heats got. Convincing him to put on anything he deemed uncomfortable a losing battle, especially on his neck.
Xie Lian hums. “The yearning scent getting to everyone.”
“Yearning? Yearning?!”
“Ahaha, did I say that?” Xie Lian didn’t sound remorseful at all. “I’d better let you go, my direct assistance is needed.”
Yin Yu focuses back on Yizhen, who looked resigned as he stared at the beta. Unsure what to do under that look, he handed over the doll. The other man took a deep breath from it, but refused to look away. “Do you have to go?”
“What?”
“You were talking to someone and pulling faces.” Yizhen curls in on himself with the doll. “Someone needs you, so you’ll leave.”
Oh. “No, I wanted to confirm something, I’m not leaving yet.”
Instantly, he perks up. “Shixiong’s staying?”
“For a bit, yes.” Yin Yu explains. “I will have to leave eventually, I have my duties after all, but… I want to work on the doll here.”
Yizhen eagerly nods, moving to sit by him. Trying not to focus on how nice that was, he pulled out the lion doll and his traveling sewing kit. Yizhen’s purring was loud as he watched the slightly taller man pushing hair through the holes already there, secure them with qi, trim them, then repeat. It became meditative, calming the beta down in a way he hasn’t since becoming a ghost.
True to Yizhen’s nature, he eventually got up and… started to clean his room. Baffled, Yin Yu paused to watch. The omega went around the chest, picking up the things he took out and carefully putting them back in. The beta jolts as they made eye contact, embarrassed from being caught staring, he gets back to work.
A while into the mane, he stares at it, trying to figure out why it looked off. When he realized what it was, he cut off some of his own hair and mixed it with Yizhen’s in the mane. Now it resembled those lion paintings where the mane was lighter in the front and darker in the back. Satisfied with the mane, he moves onto the tail, missing the look Yizhen had. They continued quietly, Yin Yu focused on the doll, while Yizhen jumped between little tasks or watching.
Now it was time for the filling. That was in his room. He supposed it was time to head back.
Taking in his surroundings, the room was cleaner, not up the standards of a heavenly official, but it was better than before. Yizhen was settled by him again, playing some kind of string game, twisting it around his fingers to make diamond patterns.
“Yizhen,” Yin Yu whispers, instantly getting the other’s attention, “it’s time for me to go.”
The omega nods solemnly, untangling his hand. “Thank you for visiting, Shixiong.”
“Thank you for having me.” The beta stands up, hesitating before talking again. “Would it be okay if I visited again?”
“Yes!” Yizhen jumped to his feet. “Shixiong can visit anytime he wants!”
“Thank you.” Yin Yu slowly raises his hand towards Yizhen’s head and when the man didn’t move away, in fact he moved closer, the ghost pet his hair. Which earned a new round of purrs. “I’ll try to visit again.”
~
Yizhen waves as his shixiong leaves, going from his door into Crimson’s palace. With no one around anymore, he peals off the scent blockers and runs back to his room. His heart felt so full!
Yin Yu wants to see him again! Yin Yu wants to see him again!
Yizhen scoops up his panther doll and dives into a nest, kicking his feet in the air as he holds the doll close to this chest. This was the best day of his life! Xie Lian was right, giving Yin Yu some space helped! Maybe he should ask the prince for more advice. He didn’t want to ruin this after all they’d been through!
~
After letting Yizhen know his password, Yin Yu learned that the omega found a way to project images into the communication array, usually things he saw throughout the day. It was nice. When he mentioned in passing that he liked seeing the flowers, it seemed like Yizhen went out of his way to find more flowers to show the beta. It was… sweet.
He couldn’t say that he hated the attention, but he worried that he wasn’t good at reciprocating it. Yizhen gave it freely and Yin Yu could barely muster it once a day.
Yin Yu gently pet the lion in his hand. Its been done for a while now, he wasn’t sure what to do with it now. It was a gift for him, but he had gotten rid of it, even though he repaired it, was it still his to have? Did he deserve to have this?
“Shixioooong, shixiong, shixiong!”
“Hello, Yizhen.” Yin Yu smiled, unable to help himself.
“Hi, hi, hi! I saw a frog!” A large frog sat in a puddle, near what seemed to be a riverbed, it was hard to tell what else was there. When Yizhen focused on something, everything else seemed to fade away. It was interesting to see it in action. “Oh, and Xie Lian said I should warn you!”
“Warn me about what?” Did something happen? Was he injured? Was Xie Lian injured? What-
“I’m going into heat.”
Oh. That’s less frightening. But that also raised so many questions.
The Yizhen from his childhood didn’t bother with tracking his heats, did he start doing that or is he recognizing the symptoms of preheat? Is someone else tracking for him? What about prayers? He didn’t smell any deputies to take on those responsibilities. Were prayers going to be left unanswered during his heat? Or worse, did Yizhen try to do them while in heat?!
“Alright…”
“Can you… scent my doll again?”
“Yes, just give me a moment.” Yin Yu puts his work away, planning to get back to it, later.
“Thank you!”
With a warning to Lord Chengzhu and a roll of the dice, Yin Yu entered Qi Ying palace, to find Xie Lian already there.
“Oh, looks like he’s here.” The alpha smiled warmly, handing back the panther doll to Yizhen. He gave a wave and left the building. “Have fun you two!”
“Shixiong, you came here!” Yizhen started walking over, then gripped his stomach and groaned.
“Hey,” Yin Yu wraps his arms around him and brought him to a chair, “don’t overexert yourself.”
Instead of answering, Yizhen leaned into him further, contently purring. Yin Yu fondly shakes his head, petting the other man’s hair. “What am I to do with you?”
Yizhen shuffles up and rests his temple against the beta’s temple, connecting them to the communication array. Stitched together thoughts and emotions formed Yizhen cuddling Yin Yu in his nest with the dolls nearby.
Yin Yu shoves his face into Yizhen’s hair, pseudo heartbeat pulsing in his ears. The request was simple, yet a lot. “Are you sure?”
Yizhen nods.
“I’m not a good person…” Yin Yu leans into his temple, trying to create an image. The ghost in the shadows and the god in the light, a great distance between them. The purring stopped, then redoubled as Yizhen pressed into Yin Yu with enough force to almost knock them to the floor. The god desperately sent the image back altered, they stood beside each other in the grey, Yin Yu a little in the light and Yizhen a little in the dark.
Yin Yu didn’t know what to do, holding Yizhen closer as he cries. “Why?” “Why do you still think I’m good?” The memory of Yizhen with a blade to his neck and blood spilling down came unbidden into their array. “I almost killed you!”
A view he’s never seen before fills his mind, himself on that day. He’s angry, then horrified, and as it fades, remorseful. Then fades in other memories. When they first met, Yin Yu helping him adjust, breaking up fight, patching him up, teaching and guiding, mending his clothes, celebrating his birthday, gifting him things he never let go of, listening, helping, having patience.
Yin Yu cried harder, barely noticing Yizhen hugging him back.
~
Yizhen didn’t know what to do, he barely knew what to do when heats weren’t trying to kill him. So he did the only thing he knew how to do, he clung to Yin Yu and prayed he wouldn’t leave.
Xie Lian said that when someone thought themselves to be a bad person, it was hard to get them to stop thinking that way. That sucks, but Yizhen was willing to wait and help Yin Yu as best he could.
Taking a sniff of his shixiong’s peach wine scent, the omega’s body unclenched enough so that he could shuffle them both into one of the nests. They both needed the rest.
~
Yin Yu knew he’d been moved to a nest, but it didn’t feel real. Not yet.
“Why am I in your nest?” The beta mumbles, throat strained from trying to hold back noises.
Yizhen gives him an image of the two of them napping.
“I mean,” Yin Yu tries to find the words, “why do you want me in your nest?”
There’s a new image in the array and despite Yizhen’s attempt to get rid of that image by pulling away didn’t work. The image of them kissing in red outfits was burned into his mind.
Wow. Okay. Uh. Um.
Yizhen continued to not say anything, even stopping his purring and closing his eyes tight. The smell of spoiled plum wine hit the beta’s nose, alerting him to Yizhen’s… fear. Yizhen was afraid. The man who regularly wants to fight men and monsters alike, was afraid of Yin Yu’s rejection.
The ghost reaches over and pulls the god into his neck. Kissing his temple, Yin Yu whispers, “I don’t think I’m ready for a wedding, but I… I want to be close again and soon, we can court each other.”
It was easy to tell when Yizhen understood, going from still like stone to a purring and nuzzling frenzy. It made him laugh and smile. For a while, he thought the omega’s purr was vibrating his soul, but it was Yin Yu’s. Without having to force it, Yin Yu was happily purring.
He still needed to tell Hua Cheng that he’d need time off for helping Yizhen, but he felt for the first time in a while, that everything would work out. Not immediately, but this could work out.