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Pretty Setter Squad

Summary:

Oikawa: WHAT UP BABES

Kenma Kozume has left the group chat.

Oikawa: OH NO YOU DONT

Oikawa Tooru has added Kenma Kozume to the group chat.
Kenma Kozume has left the group chat.

Oikawa: LIL SHIT BLOCKED ME
Oikawa: I CANT ADD HIM BACK

Akaashi Keiji has added Kenma Kozume to the group chat.

Akaashi: you need more friends
Kozume: damnit
Yahaba: don't we already have enough group chats?
Oikawa: WELL WE DON'T HAVE ON WITH THE SETTERS
Yahaba: If it's for the setters why isn't kageyama here?
Oikawa: next question please.
Sugawara: gurl😭

Or, Oikawa decides to make a setters group chat, Kageyama stirs some shit up, and a happy ending.

Notes:

Hi! So i have another haikyuu chatfic under my series "In which there are stupid boys and unexpected joys" but this fic is under a different universe. Idrk if ill be continuing that series cuz it just wasnt going how i wanted to so to im starting this one just for fun.

Anyways enjoy :)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Oikawa Tooru has created a group chat.

Oikawa Tooru has added 4 people to the group chat.

Oikawa Tooru has changed the group chat name to "Pretty Setter Squad".

 

Pretty Setter Squad

 

Oikawa: WHAT UP BABES

 

Kenma Kozume has left the group chat.

 

Oikawa: OH NO YOU DONT

 

Oikawa Tooru has added Kenma Kozume to the group chat.

Kenma Kozume has left the group chat.

 

Oikawa: LIL SHIT BLOCKED ME

Oikawa: I CANT ADD HIM BACK

 

Akaashi Keiji has added Kenma Kozume to the group chat.

 

Akaashi: you need more friends

Kozume: damnit

Yahaba: oikawa san what is this?

Oikawa: a setters gc duhh

Sugawara: adding me and not kageyama is so mean💀

Oikawa: 🥰

Yahaba: don't we already have enough group chats?

Oikawa: WELL WE DON'T HAVE ON WITH THE SETTERS

Yahaba: If it's for the setters why isn't kageyama here?

Oikawa: next question please.

Sugawara: gurl😭

 

Yahaba Shigeru has added Kageyama Tobio to the group chat.

 

Oikawa: YOU LIL SHIT

Yahaba: i don't understand oikawa san

Yahaba: this is a setters group chat right?

 

Oikawa Tooru has removed Kageyama Tobio from the group chat.

Sugawara Koushi has added Kageyama Tobio to the group chat.

 

Sugawara: seriously don't be mean to my junior

Oikawa: fuck your junior 

Sugawara: BITCH?

Oikawa: I SAID FUCK YOUR JUNIOR

Sugawara: SAYS THE BITCH THAT LOST TO MY JUNIOR.

Oikawa: YOU MF

Kageyama: what is this

Sugawara: hey kageyama☺️

Akaashi: its the way you just SWITCHED for me

Kageyama: oh hey sugawara san, akaashi san :)

Akaashi: hello kageyama :)

Oikawa: OKAY IGNORE ME, RUDE

Yahaba: you literally didn't want him here like 10 seconds ago

Oikawa: well mr refreshing would just add him back anyway so

Kageyama: hello oikawa san

Oikawa: ew

Yahaba: you

Yahaba: yknow what

Yahaba: idc

Sugawara: ew your face @Oikawa

Oikawa: EW YOUR WHOLE ENTIRE BEING

Kageyama: what is happening

Akaashi: don't mind them kageyama

Kageyama: ok

Yahaba: you're really just gonna agree?😭

Kageyama: i mean

Kageyama: the karasuno first year gc can be much worse

Yahaba: damn

Kageyama: so if this is a setters gc why isnt anyone from shiratorizawa here?

Kageyama: also atsumu san

Akaashi: oikawa made the gc

Kageyama: oh yeah that makes sense

Kageyama: ...

Kageyama: :)

Oikawa: what's that mean

 

Kageyama Tobio has added Shirabu Kenjirou and 2 others to the group chat.

 

Oikawa: TOBIO CHAN WHY

Kageyama: itll be more fun this way

Oikawa: YOU JUST WANT TO TERRORIZE ME

Oikawa: eh ill just remove them

 

Oikawa Tooru is no longer admin.

 

Oikawa: WAIT WTF

Oikawa: HOW

Kozume: :)

Oikawa: YOU LIL  S H I T

Sugawara: ngl kenma actually scares me sometimes

Kozume: im in you walls

Yahaba: wtf.

Yahaba: how did he even do that

Akaashi: don't ask

Yahaba: aight

Sugawara: wait so who's admin?

Kozume: eh i was too lazy to decide who so no one

Shirabu: tf is this

Semi: its obviously a gc

Shirabu: oh semi san, im sorry, can you please not speak to me right now? Im busy breathing.

Semi: youre such a lil shit

Shirabu: and yet im still better than you

Semi: OK LISTEN HERE

Miya: Oh what's this~

Yahaba: tf is with the squiggly line you wierdo💀

Miya: im sorry who asked for your opinion again?

Akaashi: ok is everyone just going to argue with each other?

Kozume: idk what yall expected, peace and love?

Akaashi: don't sass me kenma.

Kozume: why not everyone else is doing it

Akaashi: are you REALLY sure you wanna try that with me.

Kozume: ...

Kozume: im sorry

Akaashi: good

Sugawara: oh damn all the girls are fighting💀

Yahaba: you were literally arguing with oikawa san before anyone else

Sugawara: eh details

Oikawa: ALRIGHT ALL OF YALL STFU

Oikawa: I COULDN'T EVEN DO MY INTRODUCTION

Shirabu: no one cares

Oikawa: —ABOUT YOU, YES NOW STFU

Oikawa: So, hello my brethren

Semi: Brethren?💀

Oikawa: I SAID STFU

Oikawa: i cant even mute yall SOMEONE tooka way admin

Kozume: :P

Oikawa: bish

Oikawa: ANYWAY

Oikawa: i was staring at my ceiling last night thinking when i realized

Miya: oh wow, you use your brain? :0

Oikawa: YOU DONT EVEN KNOW ME

Miya: eh im just a hater

Oikawa: i came out here to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked rn.

Kozume: no one cares

Oikawa: LIKE I SAID, YEAZ, NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU NOW STFU

Shirabu: how about you just type your message instead of asking everyone to shut up?

Oikawa: S

Oikawa: T

Oikawa: F

Oikawa: U

Shirabu: ok, well fuck you too

Semi: language

Shirabu: sorry dad🙄

Miya: do you mean daddy?😏

Shirabu: WTF NO

Semi: WTAF

Miya: im sorry, but i can feel the tension from here

Miya: and im LITERALLY in hyogo

Miya: MILES away from miyagi

Shirabu: THERE IS NO TENSION WTF THE ONLY THING SEMI SAN EVER HAS TENSION WITH IS THE BENCH

Semi: YOU ABSOLUTE  B I T C H

Oikawa: NAH THATS FOUL

Kageyama: 😬

Sugawara: Nah see, if that was me, we'd be brawling right about now

Kageyama: id never say that tho :(

Sugawara: i know love, i was just kidding☺️

Oikawa: ok wtf is that

Sugawara: he's my child wdym

Oikawa: now thats just weird

Akaashi: Oikawa are you sure you're not just salty that kageyama is no longer YOUR child 

Oikawa: TF NO

Oikawa: NUH UH

Oikawa: I DONT SEE ANY OF MY JUNIORS AS CHILDREN

Yahaba: OIKAWA SAN ARE YOU SAYING YOU DONT SEE US AS YOUR CHILDREN????

Yahaba: IM TELLING DAD

Oikawa: WTF

Oikawa: WHO'S DAD???

Yahaba: NOW YOURE DENYING IWAIZUMI SAN AS YOUR HUSBAND????

Yahaba: I have a broken family yallz

Oikawa: STOP ROLEPLAYING US MARRIED

Yahaba: you wouldn't mind tho lol

Oikawa: i mean i wouldn't

Oikawa: but iwa chan might thats just weird😕

Akaashi: why would that be weird tho?

Yahaba: why would iwaizumi san mind marrying his bf💀

Oikawa: ????

Oikawa: we're not dating????

 

Oikawa: hello?? Whered everyone go😭

Sugawara: Okay, what the actual fuck😃

Yahaba: are you joking? Plz tell me ur joking rn

Oikawa: im? Not??? DID YALL THINK WE WERE DATING???

Kageyama: im so disappointed rn

Oikawa: TOBIO CHAN WHAT??

Kozume: no cuz even im shocked rn and i usually dont gaf

Miya: i dont get it cuz i have never met this oikawa guy in my life

Miya: i feel so left out rn

Kageyama: basically they're like osamu san and suna san in that one story you told me with the sleepover

Miya: OH

Miya: LMAO THIS OIKAWA GUY DUMB😭

Oikawa: BITCH??

Sugawara: ignoring the fact you NEVER told me that story @Kageyama (we'll get back to that later)

Sugawara: @Oikawa are you being fr rn

Oikawa: yes??

Akaashi: but you admit you like him?

Oikawa: yes

Oikawa: its not exactly a secret ive told him before

Yahaba: OK

Yahaba: SO WHATS THE ISSUE???

Oikawa: the ISSUE was that i was rejected

Sugawara: WHAT

Yahaba: HUH

Akaashi: Excuse me??

Kageyama: ????????

Kozume: im shook

Shirabu: he rejected you??

Miya: WAIT WHAT @Kageyama THIS AINT LIKE OSASUNA

Kageyama: i know... Im confused...

Semi: wtaf

Semi: Tendou's gonna flip he's been shippin yall

Oikawa: WHAT

Sugawara: Are you sure???

Oikawa: uh yeah im pretty sure id be able to tell a rejection babes

Yahaba: ok but like SURE sure?

Oikawa: YES OH MY GOSH

Kageyama: Oikawa san, what did he say?

Oikawa: yeah, lets recall my most traumatic memory, nice😐

Akaashi: answer the damn question bitch

Oikawa: ALRIGHT DAMN 

Oikawa: ok so one fine friday evening, as we were walking home, and my house is almost in sight

Yahaba: oh god he's doing the thing

Oikawa: i choose that exact moment to confess my undying love for my dearest childhood best friend 

Oikawa: yknow

Oikawa: so i could run and hide if he rejects me (which he did)

Shirabu: omg

Oikawa: so just a couple steps before i reach my front door

Oikawa: i stop dead in my tracks

Oikawa: when iwa chan notices im no longer by his side he stops and turns to look at me

Oikawa: we're a mere 2 steps away from eachother as i look at him with determination 

Miya: this is actually kinda fun

Oikawa: he asks me whas wrong

Oikawa: and i just blurt out

Oikawa: " i like you alot "

Oikawa: and he replies with

Oikawa: " uh huh i like you a lot too "

Oikawa: so naturally, as a setter, im observant, and i can tell he didnt mean like me as in LIKE like me

Oikawa: so i say

Oikawa: " no iwa chan. I dont think its the same like "

Oikawa: in which he just stops

Oikawa: looks away

Oikawa: and whispers 

Oikawa: " no, it's not "

Oikawa: so i ask

Oikawa: " will your feelings ever change? "

Oikawa: to which he turns back to me to look me dead in the eye with the most sure look ive ever seen to say

Oikawa: " no. i will always feel this way for you "

Oikawa: so i look down, power walk home, and cry myself to sleep

Oikawa: we dont talk the whole weekend

Oikawa: and come monday morning we're awkward

Oikawa: we stay awkward until

Oikawa: The KinKuniKage Incident™️

Oikawa: The end!

Miya: idk why but im crying

Semi: idek what to say to that

Kageyama: i need a nap

Shirabu: id say dramatic but fr

Shirabu: we need a nap

Sugawara: 10/10 story telling tho

Oikawa: aww thank you

Sugawara: but like yall DUMB AS SHIT

Oikawa: WHAT

Akaashi: i dont understand how both of you are so smart

Akaashi: yet the stupidest mfs alive out there

Kozume: says you

Akaashi: i KNOW you aint talkin rn🤨

Kageyama: aight, everyone wait a sec

Kageyama: Oikawa san

Kageyama: was this that one time in middle school when you and iwaizumi san would only talk when ABSOLUTELY necessary?

Oikawa: that was the reason for that yes

Kageyama: ok

Kageyama: @Kozume san dm please

Kozume: ?

Oikawa: whats happening 

 

Kageyama Tobio is now admin.

Kageyama Tobio has removed Oikawa Tooru.

 

Miya: LMAO WHAT

Kageyama: no cuz

Kageyama: i think iwaizumi san thought he was rejected too

Sugawara: WAIT WHAT

Akaashi: why do you say so kageyama?

Kageyama: listen

Kageyama: during oikawa san and iwaizumi san's divorce arc

Miya: DIVORCE ARC UWHDJSKJD😭

Kageyama: that's what we called it back then

Kageyama: when they were ignoring eachother, we asked i asked iwaizumi san what was wrong and he said he made oikawa san feel awkward about something 

Kageyama: and when i asked what he wouldnt tell me

Kageyama: but he would look at oikawa san with this longing look in his eyes

Kageyama: so my theory is they both thought "i like him romantically, he likes me platonically" hence the "not same like" thing

Semi: nah thats some kimi ni todoke shit right there

Shirabu: you watch kimi ni todoke?

Semi: oh shit

Shirabu: ☺️

Semi: SHIRABU I SWEAR

Sugawara: NAH YALL SHUT UP FOR A MOMENT

Sugawara: CUZ THTAS JUST HILARIOUS

Akaashi: so basically its all just one big misunderstanding 

Yahaba: no cuz this whole situation is just so stupid wtf💀

Sugawara: fr😭

Miya: so what do we do? Do we tell him??

Kageyama: no.

Sugawara: kageyama??

Kageyama: i have a better idea

Akaashi: ??

 

Kageyama Tobio deleted 28 messages. (This update was hidden from the rest of the chat.)

Kageyama Tobio has added Oikawa Tooru.

 

Oikawa: OKAY WTF WAS THAT

Kageyama: Im sorry oikawa san, it was an accident

Oikawa: AND YOU TOOK FOREVER TO ADD ME BACK??

Miya: LMAO HE MADE ANOTHER WHOLE ASS GC

Oikawa: WHAT FOR???

Sugawara: OH SHIT IT HAS LIKE ALL OF KARASUNO AND AOBA JOHSAI 

Semi: WHAT

Sugawara: GUYS CHECK IT

 

Kageyama Tobio has created a group chat.

Kageyama has added Oikawa Tooru and 25 others.

Kageyama Tobio has changed the group chat name to "Iwaoi Confession".

 

Iwaoi Confession

 

Kageyama: hello everyone

Hinata: kags??? Whats going on??

Tsukishima: are you kidding me? ANOTHER gc?

Yamaguchi: nah its kags who made it this time, at least thats new

Tanaka: its the way all the other first years just SPAWNED man

Nishinoya: they're always so in sync i swear

Tanaka: FR LIKE WHEN ONE DOES SOMETHING THE OTHERS ARE ALWAYS EITHER THERE OR TO FOLLOW

Sawamura: @Kageyama what is this for?

Sugawara: did you check the gc name? ITS OBVIOUS WHAT ITS FOR

Oikawa: TOBIO CHAN I WILL GUT YOU

Oikawa: W H Y

Semi: LMAO IT DOES HAVE EVERYONE FROM AOBA JOHSAI AND KARASUNO

Matsukawa: YOU'RE not from either

Hanamaki: yeah why are YOU here

Watari: im surprised oikawa san would willingly stay in a gc with shiratorizawa members

Azumane: actually there are others that arent part of either here too

Semi: well obviously we're here

Akaashi: we get special treatment

Kozume: duh

Miya: WE'RE THE VIPS FR

Shirabu: frr

Hinata: wait which miya are you

Miya: the better one😘

 

Kageyama Tobio has changed Miya Atsumu's nickname to "Atsumu".

 

Kageyama: in case it wasn't clear

Hinata: LMAO KAGS😭

Atsumu: HEY

Atsumu: IT WAS OBVIOUSLY ME??

Tsukishima: actually i thought you were osamu san for a second

Yamaguchi: same here🤭

Atsumu: YOU DISRESPECTFUL LIL SHITS

Atsumu: IM YOUR SENIOR YKNOW

Kyotani: maybe you should start acting like it

Atsumu: BRO

Yahaba: oh damn, you're here

Kyotani: obviously

Iwaizumi: no fighting.

Kyotani: ...

Iwaizumi: now @Kageyama what is this?

Akaashi: did you read the gc name?

Iwaizumi: i did?

Semi: so he aint even gonna question the ship name huh😔

Atsumu: MORE THAN THAT HE DIDNT EVEN TALK TO KAWA

Oikawa: since when do you call me kawai thought you a hater🤨

Atsumu: im also really silly sometimes😙

Oikawa: bitch—

Semi: nah imagine cutting yourself off in text💀

Oikawa: yeah i cringed the moment i did it

Yamaguchi: may i ask

Tsukishima: of course yams

Hinata: OF COURSE YAMS

Kageyama: of course yams

Tanaka: dayum

Kunimi: wtf

Kindaichi: WTF

Kindaichi: DID THE KING JUST

Hinata: YOU TWO WATCH YOURSELVES

Hinata: YALL ON THIN ICE.

Kunimi: ?????

Kageyama: ignoring that

Kindaichi: of course, the king would never give his time of day to the commoners.

Hinata: BITCH YOU BETTER STFU BEFORE I GUT YOU LIKE A FISH AND SELL YOUR ORGANS TO THE CANNIBALS THAT RUN THE STREET

Yamaguchi: watch your mouth before i shove a volleyball down your throat and up your ass 

Tsukishima: doxed.address.and.familytree

Tsukishima: ill visit you tonight

Tsukishima: with a knife

Kindaichi: WTAF

Nishinoya: bro broke rule #1😔

Tanaka: NEVER mess with ANY of the first years in the karasuno vb club unless you ARE part of the karasuno vb club

Nishinoya: that one dude that harrassed yachi is STILL in the hospital

Yahaba: no cuz wtaf

Kageyama: asshole deserved it

Hinata: period

Tsukishima: now that those-two-who-shall-not-be-named have pissed their pants

Tsukishima: what was it @Yamaguchi?

Yamaguchi: oh yeah

Yamaguchi: why is the gc name iwaoi confession?

Yamaguchi: as in why would you need to confess to someone you're dating?😂

Kageyama: ...

Sugawara: ...

Yahaba: ...

Akaashi: ...

Atsumu: ...

Semi: ...

Shirabu: ...

Kozume: ...

Oikawa: HOW MANY PEOPLE THINK WE'RE DATING???

Iwaizumi: me and shittykawa are NOT a thing.

24 people are typing...

 

Kageyama has muted 24 users for 24 hours.

 

Kageyama: good thing im faster

Iwaizumi: what is happening???

Kageyama: well @Oikawa san, nows your chance!

Oikawa: WHAT??

Iwaizumi: hello??? WHATS GOING ON???

Kageyama: there's something oikawa san has been dying to say

Oikawa: NOT REALLY SINCE TECHNICALLY I ALREADY SAID IT

Iwaizumi: kawa, kageyama won't answer me, so what's going on?

Oikawa: UHM

Kageyama: its literally SO obvious what is happening right now, so it's either you are so hopelessly oblivious, hopelessly in denial, hopelessly self depricating, OR ALL OF THE ABOVE

Iwaizumi: WELL SORRY I DONT WANNA ASSUME

Kageyama: its not that you dont wanna assume, its that youve convinced yourself that it is IMPOSSIBLE for oikawa san to EVER feel the same way because of what happened in middle school

Kageyama: which, btw, was just a HUGE misunderstanding 

Iwaizumi: misunderstanding??

Oikawa: tobio chan, im pretty confused right now, but you can trust that it was PRETTY hard to misunderstand what happened then

Kageyama: actually that was the most easiest shit to misunderstand

Kageyama: yall suck at confessing ngl

Oikawa: HEY

Iwaizumi: HEY

Oikawa: why are YOU offended??

Iwaizumi: WHY WOULDNT I BE??

Oikawa: ... Have you confessed to anyone before?

Iwaizumi: did you hit your head?? Or are you REALLY gonna make me say it???

Oikawa: SAY WHAT? THAT YOUVE CONFESSED TO SOMEONE WITHOUT TELLING ME

Iwaizumi: YOU DUMBASS WHY WOULD I NEED TO TELL YOU

Oikawa: OKAY SO I KNOW IT MIGHT BE AWKWARD WITH THE WAY I FEEL TOWARDS YOU BUT MAY I REMIND YOU IVE BEEN YOUR BESTFRIEND FOR FAR LONGER THAN IVE HAD FEELINGS FOR YOU.

Iwaizumi: LITERALLY WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THOSE ARE THE SAME DAMN FEELINGS

Oikawa: WHAT???

Iwaizumi: YOUR FEELINGS FOR ME AND BEING BEST FRIENDS ARE THE SAME WHY ARE YOU COMPARING THEM

Oikawa: DID  Y O U  HIT YOUR HEAD???

Oikawa: SINCE WHEN WERE ROMANTIC AND PLATONIC FEELINGS THE SAME????

Iwaizumi: you

Iwaizumi: i mean

Iwaizumi: thats not

Oikawa: ??? IS HE BROKEN?? IWA CHNA ARE YOU BROKE????

Oikawa: TOBIO CHAN HELP??

 

Kageyama Tobio has muted themself for 99 hours.

 

Oikawa: ...

Oikawa: aight, listen here you lil shit—

Iwaizumi: no matter how much i think about it it just doesnt make any sense

Oikawa: Iwa chan are you ok??

Oikawa: what doesn't make sense???

Oikawa: OMG DID YOU ACTUALLY HIT YOUR HEAD? DO YOU HAVE A CONCUSSION ?

Oikawa: WHATS THE DATE?

Iwaizumi: I DIDNT HIT MY HEAD

Iwaizumi: just listen you FLATASS

Oikawa: BITCH??

Iwaizumi: i LITERALLY confessed to you a couple years ago, and you REJECTED ME so wtf is your goofy ahh sayin about DOMANTUC FEELINGS towards ME?

Oikawa: omg you actually did hit your head

Oikawa: hang on im coming over

Oikawa: are your parents home?

Iwaizumi: WHY WOULD YOU ASSUME I HIT MY HEAD?

Oikawa: BECAUSE YOU SWITCHED IT

Iwaizumi: SWITCHED WHAT??

Oikawa: YOU rejected ME you DUMBASS

Iwaizumi: ...

Iwaizumi: WHAT.

Oikawa: omg im omw dont die

Oikawa: make sure youre sitting down

Oikawa: lemme googel what to do during concussions

Iwaizumi: Kawa.

Oikawa: Iwa chan.

Iwaizumi: ...

Iwaizumi: pfft

Iwaizumi: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHASSKD

Oikawa: oh god he's going crazy

Oikawa: IWA CHAN I SWEAR DONT DIE IM ALMOST THERE

Iwaizumi: yeah, go faster, i wanna see you

Oikawa: i

Oikawa: you

Oikawa: did you just

Oikawa: im

Iwaizumi: i can see you standing outside like an idiot tooru, hurry tf up

Oikawa: DID YOU JUST CALL ME TOORU

Iwaizumi: ah fuck it im coming to you

Iwaizumi: i dont wanna waste any more time, weve wasted years already

Oikawa: whaygsukc0  b

 

Kageyama Tobio has unmuted themself.

 

Kageyama: wait for it....

Kageyama: waaiiiiit for it.......

 

 

Oikawa: WE'RE DATING

Kageyama: HELL YEAH

 

Kageyama Tobio has unmuted 24 users.

 


Suffice to say, the group chat was flooded with so many messages at the same time, that many of the users' phones lagged and crashed their message app.

Oikawa Tooru and Iwaizumi Hajime finally became official.

And they lived happily ever after.

The end.

.

.

.

.

.

 

Pretty Setter Squad

 

Oikawa: HOL UP WTF I NEVER GOT TO DO MY INTRO

Notes:

I seem to love making iwao oblivious lmao

YES that one scen WAS based off of kimi ni todoke

YES that one line shirabu said about being busy breathing WAS inspired by dazai's line from fifteen in bsd.

I love hiding lil easter eggs

And YES HOPEFULLY ILL MAKE A PART 2 OF THIS
SOMETIME NEXT YEAR WITH THE WAY I POST PROBABLY

Series this work belongs to: