Chapter Text
Isagi shouldve killed Imamura when he had the chance. It’s all his fault. That fucking bastard.
They had all been chatting in the cafeteria like normal. Discussing soccer and whatever else was on their minds. Imamura had brought up how he missed girls or whatever because of course he did. One track mind that guy. They had all subsequently started to discuss crushes and past relationships.
As they were chatting, Bachira was trying to feed Isagi as always. Completely ignoring the main discussion the others were having. He hummed blissfully as he got some food past his lips. Isagi was slightly embarrassed by it at first but by now he barely noticed.
“Dude, you’re so gay,” Imamura said. He pointed at Bachira playfully. Isagi shot him a glare and frowned.
“You can’t just call people gay, that’s rude and offensive-“
“Well no he’s right though I am,” Bachira said casually, swaying absentmindedly. He wondered if everyone was almost done so they could go practice.
“What?” Isagi almost choked on his own spit.
“I’m gay, I like guys,” Bachira grinned.
“O-Oh?” Isagi felt his brain shatter into pieces. Tiny ones with ill fitting edges, not even puzzle ones. How was he supposed to process this without a mental jigsaw???
“Ha do you have a crush on Isagi then?”
“No,” Bachira said without hesitation. Like it was the only thing on earth he knew for certain. It was so quick, it looked like a reflex.
Isagi felt his shattered brain pieces be crushed into smaller fucked up brain dust. Like obviously gay people don’t have a crush on every guy but like…did Bachira not even like him a little bit? He was Bachira’s best friend? They are always so close and touchy. He was always feeding him and hugging him and passing to him.
The rest of the day he could not focus. Not just because his brain was dust as previously mentioned, but because he couldn’t stop thinking about what Bachira said. He kept staring at him in between passes even when there was no direct path to him.
Isagi kept wondering what was wrong with him? Was he not cute and awesome and good at soccer? Why didn’t Bachira have a crush on him? Was he not physically attractive? He knew he wasn’t a model or anything but he had nice eyes and Bachira liked eyes the best right? He was in decent shape too, especially for someone who only eats natto with rice and miso soup everyday.
It was starting to ruin his life. His passes had been shit all day. He could barely analyze the field. He plays so bad he almost takes back his earlier statement about soccer. His entire team noticed but only Raichi dared to really say anything about it. God this was miserable.
Before lights out, Chigiri finally confronted him. He took him off to the side of the hall. Kinda because he cared and kinda because Isagi had been annoying but mostly because Kunigami suggested he look into it. Why Kunigami couldn’t ask him himself he didn’t know but whatever.
“Are you okay? You’ve been off all afternoon and it’s making practice harder,” Chigiri frowned. He really hoped this was a quick chat. He was super exhausted already.
“I’m fine it’s just…I don’t know I keep thinking about that conversation at lunch,” isagi fidgeted, his eyes darting around the air like somehow Bachira was going to appear floating on the ceiling judging him.
It took Chigiri a second to even remember what conversation he meant. Truly no one else cared about what anyone had said except for Isagi.
“Why do you care so much about who Bachira does or does not have a crush on? Do you like him?” Chigiri raised an eyebrow. ‘Zest fest over here’ he thought.
“What no, I’m straight,” Isagi said hesitantly like it was some sort of trivia he was unsure of.
How did he not know? He overthought everything, if anything Chigiri had expected him to pull out some sort of word bubble chart thing explaining his sexuality or at least a small jigsaw puzzle.
“So what do you want all gay guys to be attracted to you?”
“Well no but-“
“So just Bachira?” Chigiri mused. his eyebrow raised further.
“Yes?” Isagi said, panicking.
Silence was all that followed only interrupted slightly by the soft buzzing of the artificial lights in the hallway. Chigiri just stared at him. Well that was…enlightening. He shook his head and then left to go to bed. He was so glad he’d figured out he was bisexual at 13. This shit seemed exhausting.
Isagi also tried to go to bed, but instead he spiraled even further. He did not fucking sleep at all that night. He kept thinking ‘not only am I probably gay, the guy I like doesn’t even like me back even though he’s also gay?!’ and also ‘ I’m terrible at being gay I need to stick to soccer’ Isagi also wondered for a split second if that’s why so few professional soccer players were out as gay, maybe this was a common phenomenon. Can one not be both gay and good at soccer?
He probably should have seen the signs of his homosexuality earlier. His main fetish had always been thighs, something all genders have. He always liked the colors blue, purple, and pink which were the stripes of the bisexual flag. And lastly he sometimes felt the urge to make out sloppy style with Bachira in the middle of a match. However, in his defense, that's not an unusual thing in men’s soccer. Like legitimately it’s not unheard of to kiss your teammates platonically after a goal. Adrenaline or whatever.
God kissing Bachira sounded really nice. He probably had soft lips or something. His hands looked nice to hold and his body looked comfortable to hug. He would be so fun to take out on dates. They could play soccer in the park and have a picnic. Then he could meet Bachira’s mom later on. Bachira could meet his parents. He would propose to him after they won the World Cup. They could get married and have a honeymoon. Wait, what was he supposed to be doing again?
Unfortunately none of this would ever happen because clearly Bachira did not like Isagi. Would it be weird if he asked what about him he didn’t like? I mean if it was his hair he could always change it. Would he be willing to alter his appearance for a guy he met like barely a month ago? Well why of course he would because first gay crushes are a hell of a drug.
Maybe if he tried he could seduce Bachira. He could learn how to flirt. It was a skill the same way dribbling or scoring was. If he practiced he could surely get his direct shot.
And so that night Isagi fully decided with his whole chest, he was going to court Bachira Meguru or at least try to.