Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

4 times Bowser thought to leave Peach out of his life and 1 time he actually did

I

“Where do you think you're going?”
“To the party, of course.”
“You just go without me now?”
“What did you expect, Bowser! I'm not gonna become isolated just because you are. I'm my own person.”
Bowser just stares at her, moving his gaze away slowly. When he turns back to his wife, Peach has backed closer to the door. Why, that Bowser does not know. One ball can’t be that big of a deal. Then it clicks. Ah, she’s just like the others. With that conclusion, Bowser sneers at Peach:
“Of course. Of course. You're embarrassed of me, can't even get your “monstery” husband into a ball with you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“That's what this is about, isn't it?” Bowser pushes.
“You're being ridiculous! You know what, I don’t have time for this!” Peach exclaims. She turns around with her shimmering pink dress spinning. Her blonde hair bounces a little and if it isn't for the situation, Bowser would be blinded by her beauty. Bowser reaches his hand out towards her but withdraws it quickly as Peach opens the wooden door and steps out of the room. She glances at Bowser carefully and leaves without another word, not bothering to close the door.

They had talked about this yesterday. Peach had wanted to go out there, socialize and “have fun”, according to her own words. Bowser had made it clear that they wouldn’t go and that's why he hadn't expected Peach to just leave.

Bowser’s chest feels warm in a very uncomfortable way, the way it does every time something is wrong, after a fight usually. Bowser tries to not let guilt consume him but even trying seems pointless. He shifts so the feeling would stop but his torso is stinging. Groaning in both annoyance and regret, he targets his eyes to a portrait of him and Peach to distract himself. They are both smiling and even Peach looks happy.

Bowser rolls his eyes. Why didn’t the happiness and honeymoon stay? Maybe it was just a rocky start. Yes, he knew it would be an arranged marriage from the start, but he had assumed Peach would've been just a bit more understanding to him. Had he been delusional when he thought he’d make her love him? It feels like all they ever do is fight. Really, it isn't that much to ask for a calm night with just the two of them. But to Peach it seems so. Maybe they aren't the right match after all. Who even believes in love at first glance?

Peach clearly has no respect for him and he is supposed to be the man! Boo is smarter than he thought for staying unmarried. Bowser thinks about Peach, her sinking blue eyes and smooth, comforting voice. They say opposites attract but would they cut it? Bowser is quick tempered, he yells and breaks things and surely Peach has noticed that by now.

Bowser gets up. He drags his feet to the portrait.
“What do you say? Regret marrying me?” he mutters his painted wife. He smiles bittersweetly. “‘Cause I do.”

II

Boo is sipping wine, seemingly not caring about the women all over him. Bowser clears his throat to make his brother acknowledge him, but Boo just turns his eyes to him and raises one eyebrow as a silent question of “what the hell do you want now?”.
“Could we be alone for a moment?” Bowser says confidently. His brother sighs and asks for the women to excuse him. He leads Bowser to one of the many empty rooms in the castle. Bowser couldn’t help but frown, noticing how Boo had brought his still almost full wine glass with him.
“So… I hope it’s something important”, Boo starts sharply.
“As if you had something better to do”, Bowser responds dryly.
“You don’t know what I was-”
“I want to divorce”, Bowser cuts his brother off. The weight on his heart quickly replaces itself with anxiety and silence hangs heavy between the two men.
“Are you serious?” Boo finally asks. The pure rath in his voice scares Bowser. He had expected annoyance, irritation, but not anger. “I told you she’s not gonna be in love. Why can’t you just listen to me?”
“I know but-”
“No, you don’t!” Boo raises his voice, very unlikely from him. Usually he’s good at keeping his composure. “Do you understand how that would affect our reputation? Royals don’t get divorced, Bowser.”
“Why is reputation all you ever care about?” Bowser spits out.
“I’m not gonna solve your marriage for you. You’re staying together and that’s it”, Boo states, completely sidetracking the question.
“But we’re not happy with each other!” Bowser yells out in desperation.
“Who’s fault is that? Just- work it out”, Boo answers coldly before leaving Bowser to stand in the room alone. ‘Just work it out’. Work it out? As if it’s that easy. As if Boo knows anything about relationships.

That night, when Peach comes to sleep, Bowser turns his back to her. He stays as quiet as possible. He can feel the princess sitting behind him on the silk sheets.
“Bowser”, she whispers, as if she’s not sure if he’s awake or not, or maybe she just wants to sound reassuring. “Is everything okay? Did I do something wrong?”
Does she not see the signs of their failing marriage? Does she not care? Bowser knows it’s unfair to blame her, push her away while she’s trying to help. Still he gets up abruptly and Peach withdrawals her hand with wide eyes.
‘Don’t act like you don’t know!” after Bowser’s words, Peach becomes silent for a moment, until she quietly says:
‘“But I don’t.”
Bowser shoots to his feets and finally faces Peach who looks just a little frightened. Bowser frowns as he considers what to do. Boo was harsh, but he didn’t lie. A divorce after so little time would not only confuse the people and nobles; rumours would start to spread and overall it would be a scandal.
“I love you”, Peach says carefully and it’s enough to snap Bowser out of his own mind. Bowser swallows and sits back to the bed where Peach is.
“I love you too”, he says through gritted teeth. Peach smiles at him and they both fall to lie on their backs. Bowser tries to match his wife’s energy, but he can’t drown the thought of how easy it was for Peach to lie.

III

“Do you recall the amount Peach’s family was “gifted” due to your marriage?” Daisy laughs, but not in a funny way. It’s meant to mock Bowser and at the same time it feels empty, sad maybe. Bowser stops for a moment. They got money for the marriage? Did Boo bribe Peach to marry Bowser? No, no, Bowser refused to believe that from his wife. She loved him, he loved her, it was as simple as that.

“It must be hard to navigate the power imbalance”, Daisy then says after a deep breath. Bowser had almost forgotten about the ongoing conversation and his expression just changes into a more irritated one as he asks:
“What power imbalance?”
“Peach’s family almost lost her kingdom”, Daisy answers immediately. Bowser didn’t know that, but he also doesn’t see how it’s relevant. She’s here now and they were raised pretty much the same way. Bowser isn’t above his wife and he was sure Peach would agree with him if she was here.
“That doesn’t matter”, Bowser retorts. “She was still a royal.”
Daisy looks mad now and she yells out:
“Of course it matters!”
The audacity of the foreign princess to yell at him shocks Bowser. She is Peach’s cousin and therefore automatically on Peach’s side. She would never even try to see things from Bowser’s view, and he knew that.
“Excuse me, who are you to talk to me like this?” Bowser accused. “You should watch your mouth.”
“Y’know, we don’t all fear your horns”, Daisy snaps. Bowser almost gasps at the disrespect radiating from the woman, but before he gets a word out she continues:
“The reason you’re disliked is your temper. I didn’t even insult you!”
Bowser clenches his fist and tries to contain his anger. Does Daisy have no manners at all?
“I should just go”, he blurts out. Better leave before things get messy.

Bowser continues walking, alone this time. The argument with Daisy is replaying in his head and Bowser finds himself angry, not just at her but also at Peach. She’s never cared to mention that they wouldn’t even be together without Mushroom kingdom’s wealth. Bowser wonders if Peach thinks life here is luxury. He never thought the nobles’ and much less other royals’ lives would be that different from his. They all go into the same parties, wear the same kinds of clothes and use the same phrases. Bowser doesn’t think he’ll ever truly understand how much exactly a pile of golden coins might change one’s life.

Maybe that was one more reason why he and Peach were never meant to be. Daisy could be wrong, but thinking about it afterwards, she had known Peach all her life while Bowser had married her after seeing her once. How does Peach look at him knowing they’re together just for her family’s kingdom’s wellbeing. All the love Bowser had received from Peach felt fake now. It lost its meaning as soon as the real motive got revealed.

“Too late”, Bowser muttered to himself. “Should’ve thought more before jumping to marriage”, he reasons himself. There is no way to go back in time. Bowser feels like his mother. Trapped in a marriage he doesn’t want to be part of. How did that change too? The marriage wasn’t forced, it was literally his idea. It’s crazy how his mind worked on impulse.
IIII

Bowser opens the door carefully. At first he sees nothing too alarming. Just the stony wall in front of the doorway. He walks a few steps cautiously, turns to his right and the sight makes him ill; his beloved wife, the one he was looking for, intensively kissing king Boo. He had bad feelings from the second he found out Peach is with his brother out of all people, but nothing could’ve prepared him for this. He physically feels his heart twisting at his chest while Boo speedily pushes Peach away and grabs his old, gray jacket.

Bowser doesn’t manage a single word out as Boo nonchalantly passes him. It feels like Bowser has fallen through the floors and ground to somewhere with nothing and no one to catch him. His head is reeling and the thoughts spin from the other side of his brain to the other.

Peach looks scared, and Bowser feels anger bubbling inside him. Why would she be upset? She knew about this, she literally was the one doing it. Bowser on the other hand, knows nothing. How long has this been going on for? He has no idea. Which one of them is to blame? Both maybe? Peach wouldn’t be the one to make the first move, right? Most importantly, why? Why would Peach do this to him? Bowser knows their relationship has been going down a very bumpy road, but he didn’t think it was that bad. He didn’t think it was that bad and he was wrong. How stupid of him to think she would stay loyal while being in Boo’s parties full of people looking for only hookups.

It would’ve hurt less if it was with someone unknown, Bowser thinks. The two most important people in his life straight up betrayed him like that. He would rather have a brother who could say “I told you so”, after him getting attached to a person who was in an arranged marriage with him than no one at all.

Boo too surprised him. He has never been that close with Bowser but despite that, they didn’t have any other family. Yes, Boo was cold, distant and never cared much of what was morally good or bad, but they are brothers. Bowser thought that would’ve meant something.

“Is this where you’ve been going at night?” Bowser says after a few seconds. He makes sure to keep his calm for once. His anger feels different than usual, now it’s just boiling under the surface, and Bowser knows he won’t be able to control it if it comes out.
“I wanted it to end”, Peach says looking close to tears. Yet you didn’t stop, Bowser holds himself from answering. “And no matter my resisting, it happened a couple times”, she continues. A couple of times. Didn’t she, just once, stop to think about the heart she was breaking for some… pleasure? What if she did, but decided it was still worth it?
“I promise it won’t happen again”, Peach breaks Bowser’s train of thought. What if there won’t be ‘again’? Now Bowser freely lets himself talk about this topic to Peach. Now that there actually is an understandable reason.
“There’s no reason to believe that we could ever be the same again”, he admits. Peach gasps and tries to reach out for Bowser. “If this is your way of being in love”, he starts and dodges Peach. “Then you shouldn’t be married to me.”

I

“I would fall in love with you over and over again”, Peach whispers and her hand sweeps Bowser’s face gently. Bowser doesn’t buy it though. He does believe it but it doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t change the fact that Peach went and killed Boo despite Bowser refusing to do so. It doesn’t change the love triangle between said people. It doesn’t change the fact that this is all Peach’s fault. It was his decision to take the blame and he does not regret it a bit, yet he still finds it hard to just forgive his wife for everything. Maybe they’re destined to be, but only because neither of them deserves a happy ending. It might just as well be their fate to suffer through a relationship where they might love each other subconsciously but not really the way it’s supposed to be in marriage. Peach seems to notice Bowser’s quietness and she continues:
“No matter how long you’re gone, you’re mine.”
Bowser stays still, forgiving her wouldn’t do anything, now would it? They’ve crossed too many lines and there isn’t a paradise waiting for them.
“Don’t tell me it’s not worth it!” Peach raises her voice. Bowser glances at the chomp driver in the back, yelling that they need to go. “You’ll always be my husband and I’ll be waiting.”

Peach’s sweet words fall into deaf ears as Bowser gently detaches Peach’s hand from him and lets it slip away. He walks away without saying a word, almost feeling his - former? - wife’s disappointment. The driver glances him up and down before asking:
“Where do you want to go?”

Bowser sits down inside the carriage. The driver is doing some last minute reassurances, which Bowser doesn’t care to know about. He tries to see Peach, but it’s dark out there, and she might’ve already gone inside. Bowser wishes he would’ve said something, but he knows there is no way he could’ve put his feelings into words. How does he tell one that despite her ruining his life, she still is the person holding it together? That after this horrible mess, too many lies and too many fights, it’s still her, who he fell in love with? Because it’s messed up, the way he’s almost ready to forgive her, it isn’t healthy and that’s why he can’t - and didn’t - give in.

It’s weird how Bowser could even look Peach into the eyes while she was internally begging him for forgiveness. How he had the courage to just watch, without a single remark or comment. Like an outsider in his own marriage.

Maybe Bowser should’ve been nicer to Peach. Controlled his anger better. It takes two to tango, the relationship was doomed to fail. There won’t be Bowser and Peach anymore. Maybe there never truly was. Peach could continue whatever she even was doing and Bowser could try to get connection with his true family. That’s what he had told the driver, basically; that he wanted to go to the coopa territory.

Once again, some new noises are heard and the driver tells him that they’re all set to leave. The chomp gets in his seat on the front and Bowser closes his eyes, taking a deep breath of the royal garden’s air. He has been here since he was a kid, born and raised inside the castle. But times change and Bowser could only hope for the best for the Mushroom kingdom’s future. He was now leaving all behind, Toadsworth, his own room, Boo, though he already was dead, and one more thing. The thing that maybe just mattered the most.
“Goodbye, my love”, Bowser whispers into the dark as the carriage starts to move.

Chapter Text

I was pulling out my hair, the day I got the deal

Chemically calm

Was I meant to feel happy that my life was just about to change?

One life pretending to be the cat who got the cream

Oh, everybody said "Marina is a dreamer"

People like to tell you what you're gonna be

It's not my problem if you can't see what I see

And I do not give a damn if you don't believe

It's my problem, it's my problem, that I never am happy

It's my problem, it's my problem, on how fast I will succeed

Are you satisfied with an average life?

Do I need to lie, to make my way in life?

High achiever, don't you see

Baby nothing comes for free

They say I'm a control freak Driven’ by a greed to succeed

Nobody can't stop me

‘Cause it's my problem if I wanna pack up and run away

It's my business if I feel the need to smoke and drink and sway

It's my problem, it's my problem

If I feel the need to hide

And it's my problem if I have no friends and feel I want to die

Boo still remembered the day he got crowned. It had been loud, colorful and full of clapping, laughter, smiles. He had hated it. Not only ‘cause people were celebrating his parents death, or so it felt, but also it just was really fake. No one was happy, people didn't want him to be king (he didn't want to be king either). The plague was going on and everyone there had lost many people. Only nobles were allowed to talk to him and all they wanted was power.

Boo had simply used alcohol for his nerves. It had honestly worked great, he had been able to keep a neutral face the whole ceremony. Honestly, Boo had really gotten drunk that night, what a great start to his reign.

But really, what else could he had done? He hadn't even had time to mourn for his parents. Was he supposed to be grateful, happy even, to get way more responsibilities than a 17 year old should have?

It wasn't rare for people to wish to be in Boo's position, be a ruler, a royal. He had to admit, it sounded great and he was privileged. But it didn't mean he liked it. He would rather live alone with Rosa (as if they were friends anymore) in an island somewhere far away. 

His mother used to always say that Boo was foolish. She would go on and on about how he should be more interested in marriage and stuff like that. She was dead though. Therefore, Boo didn't care what she thought of him or his life. Sure, there were also many nobles and such who liked to criticize his way of living, but there would always be people with different views.

It simply wasn't his fault nor problem if people didn't believe he wasn't living the golden life expected from royals. It wasn't nobodys’ but his problem if alcohol didn't fix the hole inside him anymore. It was only his problem if he felt empty most of the time. Nobody cared, as nobody should. As a king, as a grown adult, Boo was supposed to handle things on his own.

All he really wanted was to keep his people happy, but most of the time it seemed impossible. Many times had he considered just giving up his power to Bowser, but it would just be selfish. 

Sometimes it felt as if he needed to lie to make his way in life. Starting from small things like “yeah, I am doing great” to bigger things like “the toads seem very satisfied with my way of ruling”. His father had teached him to rule and let's just say that it wasn't really an honest job. Bowser didn't like him when he lied. They had actually fought about it a while ago. 

Boo laughed mockingly into his second (or third, maybe fourth…?) cup if wine.

“When has honesty ever led to good decisions? Can't you understand? This is why I'm the king and you're not.”

“You're the reason why the kingdom is falling! It's not fair, you're lying to your own people. You are out here drinking while they work their backs sore for just food!” Bowser yelled back. He seemed to not care about voice levels. Tsk, a prince should know at this age that even walls had ears.

“Oh come on! Life is unfair, get used to it”, Boo said though he didn't know if he meant to. His mouth seemed to have its own opinion as the speech continued:

“Nothing comes for free. Not even my place. They say I'm a tyrant king.”

“Maybe you are! You only think of yourself”, Bowser replied. He wasn't so loud anymore, maybe noticing they way Boo really didn't care (or maybe his drunken state).

“And it works for me! You can't stop me, nobody can't”, Boo said with a slightly hysteric chuckle.

“You scare me sometimes- sometimes I want to leave the palace, just because of you”, Bowser with such sincerity that made Boo's heart ache. Of course, he kept on his unbothered facade because Bowser wasn't done yet.

“All you do all day is drink and party. Don't you have other responsibilities than getting laid?” Boo's eyes flickered with something dangerous as the words left Bowser's mouth.

“That is only my business, thank you very much”, Boo said sharply, biting his tongue to stop himself from escalating the argument.

“You don't even care! At least I try to help you. I just told you I want to run away, hide from the world and you don't bat an eye. I guess that's only my business then”, Bowser said. He looked at his brother's eyes and knocked his wine glass to the floor. Boo was used to Bowser's fits of anger, but this wasn't the same. He didn't even care for the wine, the words were playing in his head. “You don't even care”, the hell he did. He was the one who coached him for the future role of king, the one who didn't let him get into parties of adults as too young, the one who defended him with all the rumors of Bowser being cursed.

“Yes it is”, Boo said, the words flowing from his mouth naturally despite him not wanting them to. “We all have problems.”

“Yeah”, Bowser said bitterly. “Yours are what? ‘It's only my problem, the sloppy drunkism that is affecting you too.’ “, Bowser started imitating Boo and at that point the king snapped.

“It's my problem if all my friends are dead-” expect Rosa, who hated him “-and honestly I'd rather join them if only this stupid kingdom wasn't put on my shoulders!”

Bowser's gaze softened.

“You don't mean that, do you?”

“Get out”, Boo answered harshly.

“You don't, right?” Bowser continued, as if it wasn't clear that Boo wanted to be alone.

“Get. Out.”

“Fine!” Bowser answered loudly. He turned dramatically and left Boo alone in the room. All the king did was take a sip from the half downed bottle of wine, not bothering to call a toad to clean the glass shards from the floor.

Now Boo was alone again. He hadn't fought with anyone after that but hadn't really talked to anyone either. He should've apologised to his brother who only wanted to help, but he had no motivation, lightly put.

No motivation to fix his strained relationships, to stop the drinking that consumed way too much of is time, to get help.

All he could do was wait there alone, desperately unsatisfied with his life, hoping that maybe death would collect him soon.