Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

(This whole thing is Saiki POV btw, but thanks to his powers it’s basically third person omniscient when it comes to other characters)

I woke up to yet another loud morning. Of course, to the normal person, it’s actually quite quiet.

To my dismay, I am not the average person

Telepathy, psychokinesis, x-ray vision, precognition, teleportation, clairvoyance, etc.etc.

Sure, I can do all those things.

But I’m sure not happy about it.

Because of said abilities, the instant I wake up, I’m flooded with thoughts.

I hear the usual: people yearning for coffee, people out of ingredients to make breakfast, people hoping that they’re able to pay the bills, a person worried about bloodstains…

Wait, bloodstains?

Is there a killer in our neighborhood?

I am NOT in the mood to deal with that, but it will be an even greater disruption if I don’t. Just to make sure I’m not getting worked up over nothing though, I use my clairvoyance and telepathy.

A woman who appears to be in her late 20’s, Yor Forger.

‘Ugh, I can’t let my new neighbors see me like this, they’ll think I’m a murderer’

You are a murderer.

‘I guess I’ll have to take a shower really quickly…’

How about disposing of that dead body first?

Great, so I have an assassin for a new neighbor. She seems like she wouldn’t harm a civilian though, so I’ll let it slide. Still keeping an eye on her, though.

I should probably check on my other neighbors.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My neighbors were all extremely worrisome recently. Various of them only recently moved in. Even the Kinomotos have become troublesome, and they seem to be a perfectly normal family. Nope. Their daughter is a magical girl. She has been doing a surprisingly bad job hiding it, yet no one has noticed yet. Then again, she isn’t the worst keeper of a secret identity I’ve seen. Those parisan hero wannabes exist, after all…

I usually don’t have to worry about them, though, because while she’s a bit obvious, she’s good at what she does. I’ve met her brother, and he’s one of the only sensible people in my school.

Next I check on the Hoshinos. Pretty nice family, and their daughter is honestly very relatable. But when I check on them…

A floating candy corn with a wand.

‘I am a wizard from the magic world, and I’m here to help you fall in love! In order to limit distractions, though, I’ve confiscated all your chocolate, video games, and ur cat!’

That devil. I never thought I would be grateful for Teruhashi’s crush on me, yet here I am…

Sadly, while I do feel immense sympathy for Anzu, I am not quite sure how to help, and am too lazy to find out.

Just then, I hear another concerning thought…

Chapter Text

There is someone else in the house. I had been so caught up thinking, I failed to realize that there is another person in my house.

They are eating breakfast, downstairs, with my parents.

“Oh my, Reigen, tell us more about your experiences!” My mother says, pleasantly.

‘Who the heck is that.’

“Oh, Kuu-Chan, you’re awake! This lovely person is an esper who exorcises ghosts!”

This guy has zero psychic power. Well, he has a little, but only enough to see and sense psychic powers, not enough to actually use them.

“Kusuo, why don’t you come sit down? This man is very talented, maybe you’ll learn something! He even said he’s gonna give us a discount exorcism!” My father says.

Well, I was gonna call this guy out, but seeing my dad going through a bunch of ridiculous things might be funny.

So I sit.

Just then, a kid comes in.

He looks to be in middle school, with a black bowl cut type hair style.

And his ESP is huge. Like, in between 1.5x and 5.5x mine (with my psychic limiters)

He seems to be the type who bottles up his emotions to keep his powers in check. Effective, but also a double edged sword. If he ever loses control of his emotions for even a minute, all of his ESP will come gushing out, practically explode, even. Like a river when a dam that’s been there for years suddenly collapses. Good grief.

While I’m not necessarily as emotional as a lot of other people, I don’t bottle it up, I insult people over and over in my head to take my anger out, as well as pulling minor pranks from time to time. Also, I have psychic limiters, so there’s that.

Kageyama definitely needs a better mentor, this guy didn’t even teach him the basics.

Hey, at least these ones aren’t from another universe.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An unusually peaceful week for such a weird scenario happens, and it’s time for the neighborhood party.

It’s being held at my house- great. Then again, these parties are always either at my house or the Kinomoto’s- We have the two largest houses in the neighborhood, after all. Besides the house Lucy, Levi, and Wendy just moved into- turns out Lucy’s dad ran a pretty successful business where they’re from and, seemingly, it runs in the family, Lucy almost immediately got promoted to a management position at her job and they also all run a small business selling books that Lucy and Levi writes which are actually pretty good, as well as some cool crafts and jewelry.

But those three are new in town so we’re hosting.

Seems like Shinsou and Q are already quite close, acting similar to siblings would.

And it turns out that the assassin has a telepath for a daughter.

‘Huh! Who said that!’

Me, obviously.

‘Are you a tellypath too?’

Yeah.

‘*gasp* Wow! So exciting! Wait… but you can’t tell mama and papa about Anya, or they’ll disown me!’

Wow, referring to yourself in third person, huh?

‘Hey!’

Oops, I forgot you could read my mind.