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It was his fault.
He had to tell Tano, it was his fault.
He didn’t know how military discipline worked in the Rebellion, but he knew he wasn’t about to let either of his lovers take so much as a harsh scolding for something that was his fault.
So Kallus hurried his ass down to the debriefing room.
His first mistake was entering without knocking. He’d known since he first set foot on this base that Tano didn’t like him, and her expression made it just as clear now.
“Yes, Kallus?” Her voice was a bit terse, a bit impatient, but nowhere near the way his imperial commanding officers had treated him. Nowhere near what he deserved.
He nodded towards the former imperial minister and inquisitor being interrogated at the briefing table, their eyes trained on him. “I wanted to speak with you about these two and the mission today, Commander Fulcrum. I thought I should make it clear that I bear the primary blame for the incident so as to avoid inflicting the consequences on anyone else.”
Tano smiled slightly. “You three really stick together, don’t you? Well, speak your piece.”
A bit surprised at the simplicity of it, Kallus sat, his leg and arm brushing against Maketh’s. He folded his hands on the table and leaned against it. “Commander, the fact is, I was responsible for us losing the target. I diverted the mission without the knowledge or consent of my partners and deliberately sabotaged the engagement.”
He felt Maketh stiffen next to him, heard a slight change in his boyfriend’s even breathing. They really hadn’t known.
Tano’s eyes narrowed. “Why did you blow the mission?”
Kallus chewed the inside of his lip for just a second before answering. “Cold feet. I was familiar with the officer we were engaging, Commander, and I could not bring myself to attack him. I’m sure I’ll learn to get past that.”
Tano’s frown didn’t fade, but her expression softened. “I can understand how that may be a problem. Well, we can’t just forgive sabotaging a mission, but we also can’t be too harsh on compassion. I’ll tell you what, you get a few days of cleaning duty and you tell someone when you’re not able to complete a mission and give them the chance to do it for you. Does that sound fair?”
Kallus gave a short nod. “Absolutely.”
Tano addressed his partners. “And the two of you are innocent, and all of you dismissed.”
“Thank you, Commander,” the former inquisitor interjected politely, his soft voice as calm as ever. He stood, followed by the other two, and they left the room together.
Once in the hall, Kallus found himself being frowned at disapprovingly by the taller man. “You should have told us,” the darksider complained. “We would have dealt with him.”
Kallus frowned in return, but out of disappointment in himself rather than anger. “I know. You’ll think I’ve gone soft, but I didn’t want him dead. I think I’ve stopped being able to want anyone dead.”
The darksider sighed. “You haven’t gone soft, but you seem to have forgotten how to be a soldier.”
The ex-minister put her hand on the tall man’s chest and gave him a slightly chiding look. “Now, be nice. Arik and I’s hearts have the better of us these days, and there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s why we’re here.”
“I’m here because the Empire is an oppressive government run on slaves like I used to be,” the former inquisitor growled, angry at his former masters.
Kallus sighed, muttered his partner’s name. “That’s the same reason. We’re all here for the same reason, you idiot, and I will get over this, and maybe we can actually start to fucking make up for what we’ve done.” He punctuated the last word with a hard kick to the concrete wall, after which he gasped in pain and leaned against the wall, tearing up partly from the pain in his stubbed toe and partly from a pain much bigger and older.
Both of his partners had hands on his shoulders instantly, gentle and comforting. A thought crossed his mind that made his stomach churn. A lot of awful things are my fault.
“Arik,” the former inquisitor began. “I’m sorry. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. What all of this means is that you’re a good man, and you’re finally allowing yourself to be one.”
Maketh kissed Kallus’ cheek gently. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get some rest, okay?”
Arik hesitated for a long moment, but eventually he removed himself from the wall and nodded.
Maketh raised his head to look at her and smiled at him. “Hey. I’m proud of you.”
“Yes,” the Pau'an agreed. “Thank you for vouching for us.”
The ex ISB agent clenched his jaw, then relaxed it and gave his best effort of a smile. “Thank you. Both of you. I owe you everything.”