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Javi’s foot trembled over the gas pedal as his breaths became more troubled.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He mumbled to himself, tightening his grip on the steering wheel with one hand, and pressing down on the walkie talkie button with his other.
“Kate! Jeb! Somebody talk to me!” He screamed into the device for the millionth time. Still no response.
He rested the front of his foot on the pedal, testing it. Obviously, his logical side screamed at him, knowing that there was nothing he could do. It would be pointless to put himself in danger too. Suicide. But maybe that was the point.
His breathing became choked as his throat filled, and his tears fell. How would he be able to drive with his eyes all blurred? Would it really even matter though? No matter how safe or reckless he drove, it would still bring him to the same conclusion. And that’s all he needed.
He put down the walkie talkie and brought a shaking hand to the gear shift, pulling it towards him. The wheels slowly began to carry the vehicle down the pebble road. It wasn't until he got to an intersection when his body finally caught up with his mind and he slammed his foot on the gas.
The acceleration was slow. Javi’s eyes kept flicking to the speed meter, cursing at himself for getting such a crappy car. He caught up to the first of the debris. At the speed he was going, he couldn't risk making any sudden turns to avoid it. He just had to power through everything. The debris he faced kept growing in size the further he got into the trail the tornado left behind.
He saw a power line pole in the middle of the road just ahead of him. It was too big to plow over like he'd been doing with the other crap he's faced. In his mind he accepted to just let it happen, but his instincts kicked in and slammed his foot on the brakes, quick enough to barely bump into it.
He sat there for a moment, just breathing and dealing with the whiplash. But it didn't take long before his arm was shoving the door open and pulling himself out of the car. He looked forward, past the pole. There was a bridge in the distance, still standing. And a car. Their car. Fuck.
…
Javi always heard people say they couldn't remember what happened after traumatic events. But he remembers everything. At least, he thinks he does. Over the years, it's gotten harder and harder to tell what happened, and what’s his mind overanalyzing and connecting distant dots as a way to make sense of it all.
He remembers not being able to fall asleep despite how exhausted he felt. He remembers being shoved in a room to wait in while the doctors performed surgery on Kate's leg. He remembers Ms. Carter coming into his room, her face covered in tears as she tried and failed to choke out anything before falling into the chair next to his bed. He remembers trying his best to distract himself and Ms. Carter during the long wait. He remembers hurling into the barf bags the doctors provided him whenever he thought about what just happened.
And then he remembers the doctors coming in, explaining the successful surgery, allowing them to see Kate.
Her barely awake, not even present in her own body. Her eyes meeting his, and how her face changed when everything hit. Her face crumbling as her mom pulled her into her arms. Her heavy warm gaze melting a frozen Javi, giving him the strength to walk up and hold her next. Her mouth opening and closing in uncertainty.
What happens next?
…
Ms. Carter invited Javi to stay with them for a little. He was planning on declining due to his mom begging him to fly home so she could keep an eye on him. That was until Kate grabbed his hand before he could leave her room to catch the plane.
“Javi…”
He remembers her voice so clearly. The desperation, the fear. That's all that had to be said for him to cancel his flight.
…
The first night there was hard. He was given the guest room for however long he decided to stay. That was until 2am when he woke up from his second nightmare. He wished he was able to reason with himself that it was just a dream, but it wasn't. They were gone. Everyone was gone. He had to run to the bathroom to hurl for the third time that night.
He could barely breathe. There was already a heavy pressure in his chest making every breath painful and short. And mixed with the vomit and tears filling his throat, he was practically drowning.
A knock, an opening of a door, a hand on his back.
He stayed kneeled over the toilet as his breaths slowed. The hand left his back and moved to move his fair from his face and hold it behind his head. He spit one final time before closing the lid and pulling on the handle. A deep sigh left him as he shifted his position to be leaning his back on the bathtub next to him.
His head slowly lifted up to face the source of the kind hand that's now resting on his shoulder. Kate. Neither of them said anything. They simply sat there studying each other's faces. Kate’s hair was a tangled mess – Javi assumed from rolling restless in bed –, her eyes were glossy with tears, and her frame was shaking with every unstable breath. But she was alive. They were alive.
Suddenly just staring wasn’t enough. Javi reached his arm under Kate’s and wrapped around her waist, pulling her to sit next to him with their backs uncomfortable against the hard tub. Kate took her hand away from Javi’s shoulder and instead reached for his unoccupied hand. She pulled it to rest palm up onto her knee, as she leaned fully into his side, head resting on his shoulder.
Javi observed as Kate mindlessly studied his hand, tracing the lines on his palm lightly with her fingers. A moment of hesitation passed before her fingers moved to his wrist, checking his pulse.
“Kate” He croaked, breaking the silence. She didn't respond, and her fingers didn't pull away. She simply let out a quiet gasp before sinking deeper into Javi’s shoulder and beginning to sob.
Javi wanted to comfort her, to be the strong one. But all he could muster to do was squeeze her tighter and bury his face into her hair.
Javi didn't remember falling asleep that night, but he remembered waking up. Kate was still cuddled up to him, the smell of Ms. Carter’s cooking filled the house. His biggest problem at the moment was how his back hurt from the stupid tub he had been sleeping on. It was so calm. And then he remembered why he was there in the first place, and he was lucky he didn’t have anything left in him to throw up.