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“In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the Vampires, the Demons, and the Forces of Darkness. She is the Slayer.”
Darcy coughs and taps the they/them pronoun pin on their jacket. “Who is the slayer?” they prompt.
The man from the watchers council rolls his eyes.
“Until you send me a watcher who understands pronouns I'm not fighting your war for you.”
"But there is a hellmouth opening under the changing room at the grammar school.” The Watcher says.
“Good, hopefully it will suck all those homophobic rugby players and transphobic teachers into its bowels.” Darcy smiles.
“Hey!” Darcy's friend Nick Nelson says from behind them “I'm on that rugby team, and what about Christian, Otis and Sai?”
"Is there a way we can train the large monster with the tentacles to just devour Homophobes?” Issac Henderson asks briefly looking up from a big book that said VAMPYRES written on the front in a very fancy font.
“You're the book guy.” Darcy said “is there a spell for that?”
Charlie Spring rummages through the big pile of books on Isaacs desk “I did read some stuff about pheromones. We could create a spell to make them smell tastier.”
“You can't just choose which lives you save or use people you don't like as bait.” The watcher told them.
“Not even Harry Greene?” Darcy asked “he is the biggest nob in a five mile radius five minutes with him and the hell mouth monster might just give up and go back home where it's quieter.”
“Maybe Harry is the actual chosen one.” Tao Xu laughs from his seat beside Isaac “In every generation there is a Chosen One. He alone will stand next to Vampires, the Demons, and the Forces of Darkness and talk to them until they think hell is a better place and they go back there. He is the complete bellend.”
“ I can't work under these conditions.” The watcher says he turns and walks out the room.
“How many watchers is that now?” Darcy's Girlfriend Tara asks as they watch the man go.
Isaac stand up and does a very good impression of the stuffy watcher who just departed. “In every generation there is a Chosen One. They alone will stand against the Vampires, the Demons, and the Patriarchy . They are the Slayer.”
So I take it we aren’t really just going to leave my mates to be devoured by the tentacle thing.” Nick asked with concern.
Darcy picked up a big axe that was leant in the corner and hefted it in their hands
“Of course not, let’s just hope that while the monster is choking on Harry we will have time to save your boys and your hot gay coach.”
The rest of the gang grabbed random weapons and followed their fearless leader out of the Higgs music room and down the road to Truham.