Work Text:
First, you made for me a river
So I would have water
Made for me a garden
So I would have earth
But I'm so lonely
So lonely
When everything dies
Can you stay with me?
~
The silken gloves on Eusine's fingers did nothing to hide the shaking of his hands as he stepped into the small office. The eldest sage of Ecruteak sat on a mat before him, and he quickly bowed his head before sitting down across from the old man.
"Eusine, my dear boy. Come in. You look healthy," the sage greeted, and Eusine risked a small smile.
It was difficult not to cut straight to the chase. "Have you considered my request, eldest?"
A thoughtful hum, not letting on any emotion this or that way.
Eusine willed his hands to still in his lap, but the nervousness was getting the best of him.
"You're a talented young man. Your Pokémon love you and you train them well. I see that."
"So," Eusine swallowed hard and pressed on, "Is that a yes?"
The eldest gave Eusine a pensive look, almost pitiful. "I'm afraid you simply lack the spiritual aptitude required to join our ranks."
"But I've worked so hard–"
The eldest held up a hand to quiet Eusine. "Parlor tricks and illusions of a magician do not replace the true gift of a medium. And similarly, your studies are thorough but not diligent."
Eusine shifted uncomfortably on his knees. "I haven't had the chance to learn. The children of Ecruteak, they get raised from a young age to become guardians of the tower deities..."
"And you are a thoughtful young man who is talented in other areas. Why not make a grab for the town's gym leader position? Our dear boy Morty lives with his head in the clouds, anyways. He would much rather spend his days praying at the temple than fulfilling his gym leader duties."
"He is the one who can speak with ghosts and tell the future, no?" Eusine had of course heard of him. A natural talent for spiritualism and a skilled trainer to boot. Eusine couldn't help but feel the prickles of disdain on his skin from simply hearing the name.
The eldest gave Eusine a long look, still pensive. "You should talk to him, I ponder. He might teach you a thing or two about our town's history. Satiate that thirst for knowledge of yours. Like you, he also vies for the attention of one of our guardian deities."
Eusine perked up. "Suicune?"
The eldest shook his head. "Ho-oh. The fiery bird that paints the rainbow in the sky. It created Suicune alongside two other mythical beasts when the Brass Tower burned down. It revived them from the ashes with its life-giving powers."
Eusine listened carefully. So this Morty was as curious about the legendary Pokémon of Ecruteak as he was. "I will talk to him. Thank you for your time. Please reconsider your decision," Eusine said as he stood up.
The eldest shook his head. "The first step to becoming spiritually attuned with Suicune will require you to be less head-strong. You have to be open to change, like the wind carries the leaves, if you want to be deemed worthy by the Pure One."
Eusine nodded. He couldn't pretend to understand what the eldest was saying, but he felt he had overstayed his welcome regardless.
~
When he was a child, Eusine often heard stories about the deities of Ransei from his grandfather. His grandfather was a devout man, who'd been raised religiously in a small village outside of Celadon, long before the rampant post-war urbanization swept across Kanto. His grandfather had grown up near the forests, surrounded by Pokémon and spirits and those old legends.
Eusine grew up in a small three-bedroom apartment on Sunstone Road, at the west end of town near the big department store. His sense of nature was contained in the small patches of grass on Route 5, with alleycat Meowth and stray Growlithe. It felt nothing like the mysticism of the times of yore his grandfather described to him in his stories.
As he grew older, Eusine yearned more and more for the idyllic life from those stories, far removed from the grime of the city, out in the country, living in small communities and worshipping the deities that had once protected the region from catastrophe.
Eusine's favorite had always been the story of Suicune. The majestic creature of the North Wind which purified water with just one touch, whirling across the land, elusive and uncatchable. Suicune was a creature born from blessing, a gift to the Earth and a fierce protector of nature.
He often fantasized about what it would be like to meet the god of crystal waters. He imagined himself being chosen, picked as worthy, to befriend the deity and to protect the lands together.
It was a silly child's fantasy, of course, but in the back of his mind he always kept a sliver of hope.
Until one day, Eusine's wildest dreams would take shape in reality.
He was playing by a small river stream, just on the edge of Cycling Road, when it happened. The stream was meek and brown, clogged up with sludge from the pollution of Celadon's industry. Grimer often appeared by this stream, and Eusine was hoping to perhaps catch one of them to train it and try his hand at the local gym challenge. Pokémon training was becoming a very popular sport recently, and Eusine admittedly had gotten swept up in the trend, imagining himself as the strongest trainer in all of Celadon. He was only fourteen, anyway. He had plenty of time to get ahead of the curve before his school work became too demanding.
He was sitting by the stream, watching the water for signs of purple sludge, a surefire sign that a Grimer was nearby, when it happened:
The water which had always had a deep brown color of waste and pollution, suddenly became strangely translucent. Eusine stared at it, unable to grasp what was even happening as all the grime and sludge cleared itself away beneath his feet. The stream became so crystal clear that Eusine could see the small pebbles at the riverbed. It was a sight straight out of a miracle.
His head snapped up, frantically looking around for the origin of this strange phenomenon. And that's when he saw it.
At the upper mouth of the stream, a creature of immaculate beauty. There was no mistaking it. Its presence was so breathtaking, holy and terrifying all at once. Eusine stumbled to his feet, desperate to get a closer look, but the moment it saw him approach, Pure Suicune turned its head and was gone.
All that was left was the breeze on Eusine’s face, cool and fresh like an early morning up in the icy mountains.
Eusine was left with a profound sense of disappointment, but there was something else there, a small feeling in the back of his throat that was slowly beginning to overwhelm every other thought on his mind: He wanted to see it again.
~
Autumn was earthy and colorful in Ecruteak. The city was enveloped in perpetual gold and auburn, a storm of leaves and wood and mushrooms that tinged the brisk air with fertile smells.
Eusine felt ridiculous in his getup when he stepped into the gym building, distinct from the rest of Ecruteak City's pagodas only by its purple coloring. His gloves and the cape made him feel overdressed, but he clung to them like a shield. In the face of true spiritual power, he had only his earthly delights to hold onto. Before coming to this town, Eusine had travelled across the region as a street performer. A juggler, a magician, an illusionist. He delighted the people with the tales of legendary Suicune, which would appear in the blink of an eye, like a coin behind someone’s ear. It was as close as he could get, to that elusive mystery.
Morty was a sullen young man with an intense-burning gaze. It was obvious he had grown up entwined with the town's religion and history, a stark contrast to Eusine’s city boy sensibilities. One could practically see the ghosts lurking on the edges of Morty’s frame, his mere presence creating a bridge between the here and the netherworld.
"You're looking for the legendary Pokémon?" he inquired when Eusine told him of his talk with the eldest sage.
"I want to learn," Eusine said. "I didn't have your opportunities. I grew up in the urban deserts of Kanto. I never got to..." He dug his nails into the palms of his hands, the sensation softened by the silk.
Morty nodded. He seemed to understand. "I'm not a great teacher," he said. "I've only ever been focused on my own spiritual journey. Meeting Ho-oh is my top-most priority in this life. But I suppose I could help you do research."
Eusine looked up, feeling the hope pooling in his chest. "Where do we start?"
Morty laughed at that. He had a bit of an arrogant air about him, though not off-putting. He seemed convinced of himself in every way. Of course, Eusine thought. How could he not be? The most powerful trainer in Ecruteak, an experienced medium who had gotten the teachings of the sages delivered to his cradle. Eusine suddenly felt very silly for thinking someone like him might ever win the favor of Suicune. The gods only favored those with extraordinary talent. Those like Morty.
Morty turned out to be an excellent teacher after all, at least when it came to the worldly side of things. Eusine and he quickly became good friends as they spent afternoons together reading through old scriptures, sitting by candlelight in the temples and learning everything they could about the legendary Pokémon. There were two associated with the towers: Ho-oh and Lugia. Lugia had disappeared to the oceans after Brass Tower had collapsed in the fire, and Ho-oh had revived from its ruins the three elemental deities Suicune, Entei and Raikou.
Morty claimed he had seen Entei once, recounted the way it had stared him down like it could see right through him.
Eusine swallowed the disappointment in his throat. When he had encountered Suicune, it had barely spared him a glance.
After a year of studies, the libraries of Ecruteak exhausted themselves and it became clear that Eusine's and Morty's paths were diverging once more. Morty had to stay in the city to fulfill his Gym Leader duty. Eusine meanwhile was drawn out into the world, eager to track down Suicune. He felt more prepared now than ever before.
~
Time passed. Eusine grew older. Wiser? He didn't know.
He chased Suicune across the country. Scaled mountains, crossed seas, yet the elusive beast stayed distant, only ever revealing itself in traces and shadows, when the rain poured over the land and painted the lakes blue, when the wind picked up and sent shivers down Eusine's back.
Ten years went by.
Eusine slowly felt his resolve dwindle. Maybe it was better to settle down. Maybe it was better to just give up. Maybe the work of appeasing the gods and spirit was best left to those with the spiritual knack for it. The eldest had been right.
But Eusine loved his work. He loved performing for the people of Kanto and Johto, for a year even in Sinnoh, communing with other street artists, learning new tricks and illusions, a whole entire world that though in its earthliness had its own sort of magic. He met a medium in Lavender Town who told him it was time for him to return to Ecruteak City, and not wanting to ignore the signs, he did.
Morty had gotten older, too. The simple blue sweater he always wore exchanged for a purple scarf, the handsome blonde stubble on his chin hard to ignore. He'd become a seasoned battler, one of the world's best. But when Eusine stepped into the gym, he embraced him as an old friend.
"I could feel your return," Morty revealed over tea. "They're waiting for us in the burned tower ruins, I can sense it. I closed down the gym for the day. You should come with me."
Eusine felt his throat close up. Had the moment finally arrived?
They made their way up the hill where the burned Brass Tower stood, decrepit and charred like a grave omen warning of ill fortune befalling those who played with matches.
Trainers often came here. Fire breathers who practiced in a space that couldn't be damaged further, today a red-haired kid with a mean streak.
Morty gently steered Eusine away from him. "I sense conflict emanating from him," he whispered in Eusine's ear.
Eusine did his best to ignore the kid and instead focused on the search. The roof had collapsed and the floor was unstable in many places, but he swore he could feel Suicune in this building with them.
Another kid entered and scared away the red-haired brat with a quick battle. They were no older than the other one, but something about them immediately drew Eusine's eye to them. He could tell that Morty felt it, too. An aura becoming of a champion. Only few people in the world possessed it. Lance. Cynthia. Those young boys from Pallet Town.
The young trainer looked about with curiosity, until eventually they spotted an old ladder on the far edge of the room. They approached it and began their climb downward.
Eusine realized it at the same time as Morty. "They're down there," he hissed. "All three of them."
He hurried across the room, avoiding holes and weak wooden boards, and hurried to follow the kid down the ladder.
He only caught one last glimpse of it. Shimmering, silver-blue, beautiful. Like a crystal turned in the light, fracturing rainbow colors in all directions, gifts of its phoenix father.
Raikou and Entei dispersed to the winds of Johto. Suicune, marking the child with a deigning glance, the same way Eusine imagined Entei had done with Morty all those years ago.
Never on time, never him.
~
The sunrise painted the ocean around the Whirl Islands in greys and silvers when Eusine stepped off the boat. All the signs lead to this small port town tucked away in the west of Johto.
He'd been back on the hunt for weeks now. He'd all but stormed out of Ecruteak the day they looked for the beasts at the tower ruin and he'd barely slept since.
It was uncomfortable to admit that Eusine had worked himself into a manic frenzy over the prospect of finally seeing Suicune this up-close.
When he finally spotted it at the northern edge of town, the young trainer was already there. He ran, out of breath, but he supposed that it had spotted him, for it immediately bolted, running out onto the ocean, across the water as if it were solid ground.
"Wasn't that Suicune just now?" he barked at the kid. He was finally losing it. "Let's battle! If I can defeat you, maybe that will finally prove my worthiness!"
He drew a Poké ball, sending out his Drowzee.
The trainer child stared at him with bewilderment. Oh, what a deranged picture he must have made. Disheveled, sleepless, scruffy and unwashen. All the way across the country he had chased for years, and now that he was finally close, he was beginning to lose his mind.
He was in no condition to battle, and neither were his Pokémon. The kid had defeated Morty, he had heard it. And unlike Morty, he was never a trainer of great renown.
Unlike Morty, who with his spiritual gifts heard the gods arrive on his doorstep, and unlike this kid who at barely double-digits was traveling across the regions, collecting badges and having run-ins with legendary creatures he had been hunting down for ten years.
Ten years, down the drain, just like that. All for one kid with enough gall to come along to snatch his dreams out of his hands and tear them up in mid-air in a Pokémon battle.
Drowzee hit the ground, and Haunter was quick to follow.
Electrode barely lasted a few hits, even with its speed which was meant to rival Suicune's.
Sullen and broken, he recalled his team to their Poké balls and stood at the shore of Cianwood, the sun by now beaming down on him and making him feel too warm and uncomfortable in his ridiculous magician get-up.
"I get it now," he muttered quietly. "No wonder Pokémon gravitate to you. You're simply one cut above the rest."
He sighed, straightened his back and pulled back his shoulders.
"I don't care. I am going to continue looking for Suicune. One day, we'll meet again. Until then, I wish you well."
He caught the afternoon ferry back to Olivine City. News of the gym leader's Pokémon there falling ill left him cold. He barely stirred at the news that Team Rocket had returned and was conducting strange experiments by the Lake of Rage.
He stayed at the Pokémon Center for one night, then packed up his things and went on his merry way. He was going to track down Suicune first. And if it was the last thing he’d be doing.
~
Kanto. Always Kanto. For some strange reason, the god of wind and water loved to taunt Eusine in his home region, appearing on his doorstep only to disappear again.
First in Vermillion City, a few days after the trainer child had been declared the new champion of the Indigo Plateau. Then again on Route 14, where the two of them met by the wind turbines.
It finally happened at Cerulean Cape. Eusine was too slow. He was out of air by the time he got there, and when he saw it standing at the edge of the cliff, calmly eyeing the trainer, and not running this time, he knew it was over.
In a sense, he'd known it was over since he saw them together at the Brass Tower ruin.
"Go ahead," he huffed. "Clearly it's just waiting for you to battle it. That's what the legends say. A worthy trainer who can win Suicune's favor." He bit down hard and clenched his jaw. "Clearly it's meant to be you."
He watched. That is the best he could say for himself. He did not turn around and walk away from his bitter defeat. He lived through it, committing every second to memory, up until the trainer threw out a Poké ball. Three wiggles, caught. It was over.
"You two are truly amazing," he said to the child. He didn't know where he managed to pull the cheerful facade from. Years of acting for people in the streets had made him hard to showing any emotion he didn't want to slip through. "Farewell, Suicune. Farewell, Lyra."
And then, he turned and left.
He took the bullet train to Goldenrod and found himself back in Ecruteak before he knew it.
How he ended up on Morty's doorstep mystified him. He knocked harshly until Morty finally opened up, a puzzled look on his face.
"It's over, my friend," Eusine whispered. "Better make your peace now: I know they're coming for Ho-oh next."
Morty frowned. "What are you talking about?"
"The kid! Suicune's been caught! Can't you see? It's over. I lost." He strode past Morty into his small abode and fell to his knees on the mat on the floor. He sat there for a good minute, ignoring the Gengar watching him with eerie eyes across the table.
Morty finally spoke. "If you think I'm going to be upset if Lyra shows up and proves that she is worthy to Ho-oh, you don't know me very well."
Eusine looked up. "But you're... you're supposed to be the one."
When Morty's eyebrows wrinkled, Eusine could see no judgement in them, still he felt like he was having a fool made out of himself somehow. "It's nothing I have control over. Whether we're chosen or not... it's up to the gods, not us."
Eusine felt the bitter words work their way up his throat, but he couldn't do anything to stop them. "Then maybe the gods are wrong. Have you ever thought about that? I've devoted ten years of my life to meeting Suicune and proving myself. You hear that? Ten years! And then, what–? Some kid comes along and Suicune randomly decides that they're the chosen one?"
Morty slowly stepped across the room and knelt down in front of Eusine. "Lyra is not some random kid. She drove Team Rocket away single-handedly. She's not only a powerful trainer, she also leaves good deeds in her wake everywhere she goes. She is an exemplary case of what it means to be to serve Pokémon and people. She did it not for the recognition, but because it was the right thing to do."
He looked at Eusine like he was scared Eusine might snap at him any moment.
But Eusine could do nothing of the sort. He stared down at the hands that had begun trembling in his lap. Jittery, he grabbed on and began pulling off his silken gloves, finger by finger, until his hands were free and finally felt like they could breathe again. He didn't look up at Eusine when he asked, "Am I not a good person?"
Morty did something surprising then. He reached out and took Eusine's hands in his; the hands which were freshly naked and vulnerable to the harshness of the world. There was no silken glove that could soften the blow of what Eusine felt.
"You're a fantastic person," Morty muttered, not meeting his eye. "You're a diligent researcher and you're smart as all heavens. You single-handedly tracked down a Pokémon that was said to have been lost to legend. You stayed loyal to your singular task for over a decade in an act of devotion so pure, few of the sages in the temples of Ecruteak could compare. What you lack is not your fault. You weren't born with spiritual gifts and you couldn't grow up with the culture that was taken from you when the modern age fell into your region. Nothing you did has been wrong. Are you obsessive and sometimes lose sight of why you're chasing Suicune to begin with? Of course, but that is a fault I have seen in myself many times, as have I with many of the trainers I battle daily at the gym, who start their journey with eyes full of wonder for the world, who become increasingly bitter when their dreams don't work out like they had hoped. But you're not broken for not being deemed worthy by Suicune. It's one singular Pokémon, at the end of the day."
Eusine stared at Morty dumbfounded. Hearing those words from him sounded like blasphemy. "Suicune is–"
"A deity, yes. A protector. What it is not is the judge over whether you deserve kindness or love or recognition. Even if twenty Suicunes refused to see your worth, it would not mean the worth wasn't there to begin with. Can you not see that?"
Eusine stayed quiet for a few long moments. "Then who," he said hollowly. "Who will see the worth in me? If not even the gods can extend some of their infinite grace to deem me worthy of attention, then what...?"
His words broke on the lump in his throat.
Morty slowly trailed a thumb over the palm of Eusine's hand. Eusine felt exposed. Raw. He couldn't remember how long it'd been since he'd felt the touch of another person with his bare hands.
"There are plenty of people in the world who cherish you and who think you enrich their life immeasurably." His cheeks turned imperceptibly pink. "Maybe I'm one of them. Maybe I wouldn't mind if you finally gave up the chase and settled down in one place for a while."
Eusine stared at him. "I don't know what..."
"Stay with me in Ecruteak," Morty said in a way that left no room for misunderstanding. "The city has such a rich culture and I would love to teach you about it. Not just about the deities. Our traditions, our festivals. You wouldn't even need to work. My job at the gym makes enough." He was fully blushing now.
"I don't know what to say," Eusine said quietly. "I've never... given thought to what I would do if... if the chase was ever over. I don't have a life outside of Suicune, it feels like."
Morty smiled at him sheepishly and brushed his thumb over his palm again. "Then maybe it's time to build one."
"I... Yes. I'll stay." Eusine looked at Morty, still there and close and unbearably sure of himself in ways Eusine could never have been. "How can I repay you for your kindness?"
Morty chuckled, warm and mischievous. He leaned forward and pressed a light, hovering kiss to Eusine's lips, just to see how Eusine would react.
Eusine tensed but when he realized what was happening let it happen. Then, leaned forward to deepen the kiss.
They stayed in this position for a moment, simply feeling the closeness of one another. If Gengar was still sitting behind them and watching, they both had long forgotten its presence.
Eusine felt a warm feeling flood his belly, something he hadn't felt in a long time. Home.
When Morty pulled back, he was smiling. "Don't you see? There's nothing you need to do to repay me. You're already worthy."
~
You always envied mortals
'Cause we can leave
When everything dies
Will you be lonely?