Chapter Text
Mikasa regrets going to volleyball club when she's paired with the loudmouthed girl from her social studies class. They have had to work together in class a few times so she's pretty sure her name is Sasha. And she's also pretty sure she doesn't like her very much.
Each time Mikasa tosses the ball to her, Sasha insists on bouncing the ball on her knees and switching it between her feet before tossing it back.
"Do you need to do whatever you're doing every time?" Mikasa asks, hurling the ball across the court a little harder than necessary.
Sasha catches it on her chest with an "Ow" and proceeds to bounce it on her kneecaps, her ponytail swishing wildly.
"Yeh don't know keepy-uppys?" She says in her weird accent.
"I... what?"
"Y'know... when yeh keep the ball in the air without using yer hands."
Mikasa stares. In volleyball hands are the only things the player is allowed to touch the ball with.
Before she can point this out, Sasha knocks the ball into the air with her knee and smacks it into the net with her foot.
"Goal!" She beams and looks to Mikasa for her reaction.
"The girls' football club meet on Tuesdays." Mikasa says.
"Well yeah, but today's Friday."
"I don't know how to talk to you." Mikasa replies and walks away to find a different partner. The remainder of the practice consists of Sasha continuously ignoring the coach as she instinctively hits the ball with her foot, and of Mikasa continuously ignoring Sasha.
This tactic works relatively well until practice ends and Mikasa finds herself being followed out of the school by her still-energetic classmate.
"That was fun! I think I'll go again next Tuesday."
"Friday." Mikasa corrects automatically and then backtracks. "No, I don't think you should."
"How come?" Sasha asks, tugging the straps of her backpack as she scuffs her worn shoes against the ground.
"Because you're not playing the sport properly."
"S'more fun my way though."
"Then you should go to football club on Tuesday."
"Nah. Hey, we should have a sleepover! Can I stay at your's sometime?"
"No, you're too noisy." Mikasa says, too intent on getting home and away from Sasha to pay too much attention to what she's asking.
"Your brother is the noisiest out of everyone." Sasha pouts, and Mikasa gives her a sharp look. "What? Yeh can always hear him thinkin' out loud in maths."
"It helps him work out the answer." Mikasa shoots back, far too annoyed now to entertain this girl much further.
"I.. I know that." Sasha falters for a moment before picking right back up with - "I didn'y mean it in a bad way. I'm just sayin'... um..."
"I'm going home now." Mikasa announces and starts to quicken her pace, but not before she catches Sasha's eyes widening in alarm.
"Ah - wait! Please, uh... Mikasa?" Sasha calls uncertainly, and Mikasa turns to stare at her. "Eh... that's yer name, right?"
"You don't even know my name, but you're asking to stay at my house?"
"But I got it right, didn't I?"
"Yes, you did." Mikasa admits, thinking about the way Sasha pronounces "I" as "ah". But she doesn't feel like commenting on it.
"I'm only askin' 'cause.. My mum says it's weird that I don't have any friends that are girls." Sasha fidgets nervously with her bag straps. "And startin' a new school is kinda scary, and the girls in our classes seem kinda... I dunno. Different. I don't really know how to talk to them."
"So you thought I would be the easiest to approach?"
"Well, yeah 'cause yer nice. Yeh don't whisper much." Sasha smiles toothily and Mikasa wonders what she means.
"So, please let me stay sometime! I won't be too loud, I promise."
She interlocks her hands and presses them to her mouth in demonstration, brown eyes wide and pleading.
Mikasa sighs, and looks to the greying sky just so she won't have to see Sasha's anxious face anymore.
"Okay. You can stay tonight. But Eren and Armin will be there too."
"Mmf-'kay." Sasha mumbles through her fingers. It's muffled but she sounds pleased.
Mikasa stares at her for another moment before looking away and walking forward again.
"You can take your hands off your mouth now."
Sasha drops her hands to clasp them behind her back, swinging round so she walks backwards next to Mikasa. She's beaming so brightly that Mikasa almost wants to look away from her.
"We're friends now, y'know."
"No, we're not."
--
After some initial confusion and sceptism on Eren's part, Sasha is welcomed with open arms. More or less. She's still wearing her backpack, and has tucked herself into a ball at the foot of Mikasa's bed; eyes fixated on Mikasa's fingers threading through Armin's hair.
Eren tosses his homework aside and sprawls across the duvet, taking up most of the space on his own. "Pythagoras can SMD. You wanna know what the value of 'x' is? I'll tell you - fucking fuck all. Who cares?"
Armin pulls away from Mikasa's lap to squint at Eren's textbook on the floor. "It's seven." He says before settling back with his head on Mikasa's stomach.
"I don't care anymore." Eren says flatly. And then adds: "Hey, Sasha - wanna write that in for me?"
She slips her bag from her shoulders and leans off of the bed to scribble in Eren's homework jotter. "Yer handwriting's enormous."
"It's so I can read it later." Eren says, scowling at the ceiling as though it has personally offended him. "You sound like that Nanabanana person. The bloody teaching assistant that won't leave me alone."
"Don't pretend that you don't adore them, Eren." Armin says, his eyes closing contentedly as Mikasa scratches his scalp. She smiles down at him; she won't be surprised if he starts purring.
"Well... yeah. But they're still annoying. Anyway - " Eren sits up and looks directly at Sasha who's still dangling off the bedside. "You just moved here during the summer, yeah?"
"Yep." Sasha pushes away from the bed with her feet until she's upright - and upside down with her palms flat on the ground.
"So who do you usually hang out with at school?"
She attempts to shrug and wobbles dangerously. "Uh, the two tall guys from my art class sometimes. Marco and... John, I think."
Eren shoots Mikasa a knowing look and starts snorting with laughter. She ignores him and Armin rolls his eyes.
"Um, what?" Sasha asks, glancing between the three of them and Armin tells her not to mind it.
"Your face is getting red." Mikasa points out and Sasha twists and lands on the ground with an ungraceful thump.
"Is it movie time yet?"
"Eren, you haven't finished your homework - "
"Is it movie time yet?" Eren repeats himself louder.
"Oh, actually... " Armin struggles to pull himself up and reach for his laptop. "I found another werewolf one we haven't seen yet. It's described as... oh, 'A bitch of a werewolf movie'."
He looks up eagerly and meets Eren's grin with one of his own.
Twenty minutes later the four of them are huddled around the computer screen, unable to move without also shifting the person next to them. It's far too hot an evening for all of them to be crammed into one bed, but there's no alternative and Sasha doesn't seem inclined to let go of Mikasa's arm anytime soon.
"That bloke sounds like you, Sasha." Eren points out the red-haired soldier. Armin opens his mouth as though to say something but seems to change his mind.
"You guys actually like these films?" She asks in disbelief, her nails digging into Mikasa's skin as the onscreen music increases in volume.
Mikasa doesn't mind them. She knows Eren and Armin have a peculiar obsession with monster movies, and she does find it quite fun to watch their simultaneously terrified and thrilled reactions to the gory scenes onscreen. Sometimes she likes to poke their sides during particularly intense scenes and make them yelp. She doubts Sasha would appreciate being frightened though.
"Don't you like being scared?" Eren launches across the bed and bares his teeth in a snarl at Sasha who shrieks and dives under the duvet - spilling crisps everywhere. Mikasa shoots him a warning look and places a hand protectively over the quivering lump under the cover.
"There are far too many men in this movie." She remarks.
"We can watch Underworld again tomorrow." Armin murmurs, transfixed by the movements onscreen.
Mikasa shakes her head at the idea, but Sasha peers out from under the covers with wide shining eyes.
"Is that the Kate Beckinsdale one?"
Mikasa nods. "It's not that good though."
"Kate Beckinsdale though." Sasha mumbles.
"Van Helsing then." Mikasa decides and Armin makes an enthusiastic noise while Eren groans.
Despite Eren's disdain towards both of the suggested films, the other three collectively agree to watch at least one of them tomorrow. Mikasa realises that this would mean Sasha staying another night, and finds herself not minding so much. She's no more energetic than Eren really, and her reactions are just as funny to provoke and witness.
They finish the movie with a general consensus of "That wasn't bad, actually", and Sasha's adamant "Nope, never again". Eren and Armin say their goodnights and switch to Eren's room so there's space for Sasha to sleep. Mikasa reluctantly offers her her spaceship pyjamas, and Sasha brushes her teeth with her fingers before they climb into bed.
Mikasa doesn't hold her breath that they'll both remain silent until they each eventually drift off. Sure enough, Sasha soon pipes up to voice her fears of a werewolf breaking in the window during the night.
"That won't happen."
"Yeh don't know that."
"I'm the one sleeping closest to the window. It will eat me first and my screams will wake you so you can escape." Mikasa reasons.
"How is that any better!" Sasha whines. The duvet shifts and Mikasa knows that Sasha has tucked her head under the pillow. She continues talking but her voice is muffled. Mikasa sighs, far too tired to even try to understand what Sasha is saying. It's going to be a long night.
--
"Let's do it."
"No."
"Just the cartilage. Ooh, or maybe the nose."
"No."
"It'd look soooo cool on yeh, though." Sasha frames a square with her fingers and squints through the space at Mikasa. "Very punk rock."
"I'm not into punk rock."
"Well, I am. The aesthetic of it anyway." Sasha falls back on the pillows, carelessly throwing an arm across Mikasa's stomach as she does so. "Even if yeh don't want one, could yeh still come with me to get mine?"
Mikasa turns her head to scrutinise Sasha's ear. It's small and currently bare with little wisps of brown hair tucked behind it. She can't imagine any kind of stud or decoration on it.
"No." She says flatly.
"Mikasa!" Sasha exclaims and goes flying upright once more. She just can't sit still sometimes. "What kinda friend doesn'y -"
"We're not friends. You're just a persistent classmate."
"D'yeh let every persistent classmate sleep in yer bed?"
"You're the only one that's asked."
"I'm sure I'm not the only one that'd like to though." Sasha laughs and does the camera imitation with her hands again. "Can yeh imagine what the boys in our class would say if they saw this?"
Mikasa tosses a pillow at her and yanks the duvet up to her chin. They're only Jungle Book pyjamas. And she likes them very much, thank you.
They turn off the lights and lie facing away from each other under a single duvet. Minutes pass and Mikasa's surprised she hasn't yet heard the soft snores that she's become familiar with over the past few weeks. Sasha is usually quick to drift off.
She must want to say something, Mikasa realises. But she doesn't want to be the one to break the silence, so she remains quiet until Sasha finally speaks up.
"Hey, uh... Yer only teasin' me when yeh say we're not friends, right?" She asks quietly.
Mikasa feels a prickle of guilt as she wonders if Sasha has been worried about this the entire time they've been doing this. Of course they're friends. Mikasa wouldn't be spending so much time with her otherwise. Maybe Sasha just hasn't quite figured out how to read her yet. Or perhaps she's struggled with friends before and just needs the reassurance. Mikasa can offer that much.
"You're my one of my best friends, Sasha." Mikasa says truthfully. "You, Eren and Armin."
"Oh. That makes me happy then." She says softly from the other side of the bed. "I kinda feel like spoonin' yeh now."
"Don't." Mikasa warns. "We're not that close yet."
"We will be." Sasha yawns in reply, and Mikasa rolls her eyes before falling asleep.
--
When Mikasa accompanies Sasha to the piercing studio, it goes almost exactly as she had expected.
Sasha takes one look at the needle and her face goes white. She glances at Mikada who offers nothing but a blank look and a shrug.
"Is there, eh... a nicer way of doin' this?" Sasha clears her throat, addressing the assistant but still eyeing the needle.
"Yeah. Clip-ons." They answer dryly.
Sasha looks to Mikasa again, eyes wide and screaming "help".
Mikasa exhales impatiently and uncrosses her arms. "Fine. I'll get it done first."
Five minutes of form-filling later, Mikasa lays down on the seat as the assistant preps.
"D'yeh want me to hold yer hand?"
"Not really."
"It's more for my benefit, I think." Sasha half-jokes. Mikasa wordlessly extends her hand out for Sasha to clasp as the assistant approaches with the needle.
Mikasa registers a sharp pain in her ear and an odd kind of numbness which half-convinces her that her ear has swollen to ten times its normal size. But really, it wasn't all that painful for more than a moment.
"It'll be tender for a while so try not to sleep on your right side." The assistant says. "Clean it twice a day with the solvent solution and it should be fine."
"Whoa, it looks really red." Sasha murmurs as she peers at it. "Did it hurt much?"
Mikasa glances at the indifferent assistant before answering.
"It was agonising."
"Really?" Sasha bites her lip and Mikasa nods for emphasis. "Maybe I'd... Maybe I'll get mine done another day."
"Good idea." Mikasa agrees, ignoring the assistant's raised eyebrow. So what if she's exaggerating the pain a little? She knows even the tiniest nip would make Sasha howl and change her mind. And Sasha's ears don't need any improving anyway.
When they go to bed later, after Sasha has throughly shown off Mikasa's earring bar to Eren and Armin whilst amping up how brave she'd been, Mikasa resigns to lying on her left to protect her tender ear.
She's face to face with Sasha who is still staring at the earring with an awestruck look on her face.
"It looks so cool." She whispers, and reaches over just to barely trace the shape of Mikasa's ear with her fingertip.
Then she turns around to face the opposite way, and her quiet snores fill the room not a minute later. Mikasa looks at the wisps of hair on the back of Sasha's neck until she too drifts off.
A week later Mikasa goes back to the piercing studio and leaves with a stud in her nose. She stops by an accessory shop and buys a choker before picking up a worn biker jacket in a charity store.
When she turns up to school the next day, she watches Sasha's stunned reaction with satisfaction.
"Punk rock is so my aesthetic." Sasha murmurs and spends the remainder of the day hanging off of Mikasa's leather-clad arm.
--
They're playing Bluff on Mikasa's bed when she decides to tell them. She was originally only going to mention it to Eren and Armin and ask their opinion, but Sasha had typically followed her home with the announcement that she planned to stay the weekend.
"You don't have your things with you." Mikasa had pointed out. "What are you going to wear?"
"I'll just have to wear something of yours again, I suppose."
"What are you going to brush your teeth with?"
In reply Sasha had only crammed maybe six crisps into her mouth and gave a mischievous close-mouthed smile.
But now that Mikasa is thinking about it, as she watches a neutral-faced Armin place down two cards, perhaps what she has to talk about is something Sasha should know. And those magazines Sasha sometimes brought over always explicitly said that you were supposed to talk to your girl friends about these things.
She can't decide if this is something she should be talking to Sasha about alone instead of also with her brother and Armin. But they are all here in her room anyway, so she may as well say it now.
She places down two cards. "Jean asked me out today. Two sixes."
There's a loud crack as Sasha's glass slips from her grasp to break on the bedframe and spill apple juice across the carpet.
"Are you serious?" Eren bursts out laughing over Sasha's frantic apologies as she leaps off the bed to futilely scrub at the stained floor.
"I don't know why you're surprised. Jean has liked Mikasa for a long time now." Armin says as-a-matter-of-fact-ly, already handing Sasha the pre-prepared brush and dust pan from under Mikasa's bed.
"Has he?" Sasha asks, still and staring up at Mikasa in disbelief - brush and pan in hand.
"I'm not surprised. It's just - fucking finally!" Eren falls backwards, giggling to himself. "When did he ask?"
"After volleyball."
"Where was I?" Sasha splutters, and Mikasa reminds her of her ongoing war with the vending machine in the corridor between the gym halls.
"Aw, yeah."
"What do you think I should tell him?" Mikasa glances between the three of them.
"Uh - no, of course! He's an arrogant arse!" Eren exclaims as though it's obvious. Mikasa had already anticipated that reaction so she looks to Sasha for a more helpful opinion.
Except Sasha's still scrubbing at the floor. She meets Mikasa's eye for a moment before looking away and saying "I dunno. Whatever. Boys are gross."
This isn't really the response Mikasa had been looking for. So much for the whole "girlfriends" culture. So she fixes her eye on Armin who meets her gaze steadily.
"Do you like him?" He asks.
Mikasa thinks about when Jean spoke to her today. The anxiety in his voice, but the sincerity in his eyes. How tall and handsome he had seemed in front of her, and the smile he offered when he said "You're awesome at spiking by the way. I think we'd play on the court pretty well together."
Jean likes her. He really likes her. It's nice to think about.
"I think I could." Mikasa says truthfully.
"Well... he is pretty good-looking." Eren admits. "Even I would probably struggle to say no to that face."
"I could." Sasha says stubbornly as she sweeps the broken glass into the bin with a clatter. "I could easily say no."
"Aren't you friends with Jean, Sasha?" Armin frowns, sipping from his cup. Sasha makes an odd noise of neither confirmation or denial.
"We're all gonna have to be his friend if Mikasa starts dating him." Eren sighs. "God, just... Make sure I'm not home when you bring him back here to canoodle."
Armin snorts and sprays apple juice from his nose. Eren bursts into hysterics and Sasha stares at the bed in disgust, as though it's already become something horrifying and contaminated.
"That's where I sleep." She says.
"It's my bed." Mikasa says. "And nobody is canoodling in it yet."
"Yet." Eren and Sasha say together - Eren gleefully, Sasha gloomily.
--
Dating Jean is so much more pleasant than Mikasa had expected. At first she's annoyed by the flustered way he behaves around her. She's not sure how to handle the strange things he blurts out in nervousness. But then she finds herself startled into laughter when he strikes gold with food-related puns.
She always takes one of Jean's earphones when it's offered, and closes her eyes to listen to the mix of indie and punk he seems to favour. Mikasa isn't too into music, but it isn't bad.
"Make me a playlist." She says, and is surprised when a blushing Jean admits that he already has.
And she's oddly proud when Jean finally progresses from pecking her on the cheek to kissing her mouth. His lips are soft enough that she catches herself raising onto her toes to chase him for more kisses when he pulls away.
"You two are gross, seriously. We're in an academic environment. Show some respect." Eren says with a loud slurp from his can. Jean pauses in the middle of doodling lyrics on Mikasa's arm to stick his tongue out at him.
"We're in the cafeteria, Eren." Armin leans across the table to steal a sip from his friend's can. "And I'm certain that there's a terrible drawing of a sunflower on your left bicep right now."
"How do you know that?" Eren demands.
"Because you asked me to draw it for you." Armin says dryly.
"Oh yeah. You guys wanna see it?" Eren grins, already rolling back his sleeve.
"Not really." Jean says and caps his sharpie.
Mikasa pulls her arm away to scrutinise it. Fall Out Boy again. Of course. Armin peers over her shoulder to look too and wrinkles his nose.
"Not into it?"
"I'm not into music with guitar noises."
Jean makes a noise like he's scandalised. Mikasa clamps a hand over his mouth before he go on one of his many rants about alternative rock. It doesn't bother her much, but she has a feeling Armin wouldn't take too well to Jean's musical pretention.
"Sasha!" Eren waves their friend over to the table. "Well? Did you convince her to give you seconds?"
"Yep." Sasha says dreamily, dropping into a seat and staring lovingly at the plateful of lasagne before her. She takes a large forkful into her mouth and swoons. "God bless pushover lunch ladies."
"She never gives me any extra." Eren grumbles and complains when both Armin and Mikasa reach to steal chips from his plate. "Oh hey! Finally got the Hellboy films on DVD, so I'm thinking double feature tonight. You in, Sasha?"
"Uh... are they scary?"
"For you maybe. They're awesome though."
"Eh, alright. I'm in."
Mikasa glances at Jean who seems to be trying not to look at any of them. She touches his arm to ensure his attention before reminding him that he's invited too.
"Oh, uh... sure." He says, looking sheepish but pleased. And Mikasa doesn't take any notice of Armin's smile or Eren's sniggers.
In the short while Mikasa and Jean have been dating, he hasn't really spent much time with all of them as a group. Mikasa hadn't thought it would matter too much until she realised time with Jean was cutting into time with her friends. So putting them together seems like the obvious solution.
However, there is an immediate problem the moment they try to settle down and watch the film. There isn't nearly enough room for five of them on Mikasa's bed.
"Okay, I'll make the sacrifice." Eren sighs and looks to Armin who has his knees pulled tight to his chest. "Alright, buddy. Spread your legs so I can get comfy."
"You've got to be joking."
"Well, I gotta sit in someone's lap."
"Eren, you're the heaviest out of all of us."
"I think you guys are missing the obvious solution here." Jean says, leaning back against the pillows and motioning for Mikasa to lie against his chest.
"Ah, well. I guess that works." Eren says as Mikasa shifts into place. "I still kinda want to sit on Armin though."
"Don't even."
Of course Eren somehow manoeuvres himself to lie atop a grumbling Armin anyway. With the - what Eren referred to as - "double stacking" of bodies and Sasha curled up between them, there's enough space on the duvet for them to comfortably watch the film.
Mikasa drifts in and out of attention. She likes the movie, but the sensation of Jean's fingers combing through her hair is very distracting. She hums aloud happily, before her eyes snap back open - embarrassed and hoping nobody else heard her.
She catches Sasha's eye but they both quickly look back to the screen. Sasha's been unusually quiet since they came back to Mikasa's room, and Mikasa has already decided to ask her what's wrong when the boys leave later.
"You know, your bedroom's a lot different to how I thought it might be." Jean murmurs in Mikasa's ear.
"What did you picture?"
"Less pink for sure."
"Your imagination must have been way off."
"There is just so much pink in here."
"I like pink."
"Clearly."
Mikasa pinches the back of his hand and he yelps and laughs. Eren doesn't hesitate to spoil their fun immediately.
"No lovey-dovey bullshit please. Being around Mum and Keith is bad enough."
"Jealous much?" Jean quips and Eren pretends to gag at the thought.
Mikasa expects Armin to tell them off, but he too remains uncharacteristically silent. She glances towards him to see him watching Sasha studiously. He must have noticed her strange mood too, but he won't call her out on it. But she will.
They finally call the night quits when Sasha yawns every thirty seconds and Eren starts snoring into Armin's knees. It's too late to send Jean home alone with a clear conscience, so he reluctantly stays the night at Mikasa's insistence.
"You can kip on my floor. But no funny business." Eren points in Jean's general direction, his eyes unfocused and his words slurred. Armin rolls his eyes and pulls him out of the room by hand. Jean follows, but not without kissing Mikasa's cheek and murmuring good night. She closes the door and turns to face her friend.
"Lovey-dovey bullshit." Sasha repeats, but she's smiling a little.
"Usual pyjamas?" Mikasa ignores her comment but is smiling too. She crosses the room to the chest of drawers to fish out Sasha's favoured sleeping shirt - an old Manchester United strip that was oversized to begin with. Sasha still claims to hate the team - "Who cares about English football?" - but prefers the shirt to Mikasa's other pyjamas. Although to be fair most of Mikasa's sleep wear is Disney themed.
"Are yeh going to tell me about it?"
"About what?"
She knows perfectly well what Sasha is asking.
The previous weekend Jean had invited her over to his home, and she was fully aware that his family were going to be absent the entire time. So she went because she wanted to, and they had watched movies on his living room couch until they didn't.
Mikasa remembers curiously tracing her fingertips along Jean's jaw, across his high cheekbones and down his straight nose. She likes his face. She told him as much, and he had laughed at that before sliding his hands under her shirt.
Mikasa likes his hands too. She remembers murmuring encouragements to him when he kissed her neck.
Even now Mikasa's heart thuds at the memory, and she has to look away in case any embarrassing feelings show on her face.
"Did yeh - ?"
"No." Mikasa says quickly. "We haven't yet."
"Yet." Sasha echoes. "D'yeh want to?"
She does. Eventually. Sex isn't really something Mikasa had considered until recently. But she likes everything she has experienced with Jean so far, so she's definitely considering it now.
She can't tell Sasha that outright though. So she gives a half shrug that she knows Sasha will see through right away and changes into her Lion King night shirt.
"Too embarrassed to talk?" Sasha's grinning but her own cheeks are reddening as she speaks.
"No." Mikasa lies. "I'm going to sleep."
"Not with Jean, ha ha."
She smacks her pillow into Sasha's face and buries herself under the duvet. Silence falls for a moment before Mikasa remembers Sasha's strange mood earlier. So she turns to look at her, sprawled atop the duvet and staring blankly at the ceiling, and asks.
"Ah... sorry. Was thinkin' about my parents."
"What about them?"
Sasha glances at Mikasa who redirects her gaze to the pattern of the duvet. She's learned enough sleepover etiquette by now to know that it's easier to talk about the serious stuff in the dark without eye contact. And she has a feeling that what Sasha's thinking about comes under the "serious stuff" category.
"It's just... They're fightin' a lot. I mean, they always did but it's gotten worse since we moved here. They're probably gonna separate soon, and I just... I dunno. I just don't wanna be near that, y'know?" Sasha swallows and turns her head away. "I know I'm a real pain sometimes and I ask to stay a lot and yeh let me without askin' too much. But it's just... nicer being here with you guys."
Mikasa doesn't respond for a moment. She listens to Sasha's controlled breathing and reprimands herself for not picking up on it sooner. She and Eren had done the same thing in the lead up to their own parents' divorce. They had delaying going home for as long as possible by staying at Armin's or playing outside past their curfew. Never had they felt so much dread returning home than when they were sure to witness harsh words and terrifying arguments.
She lets herself be angry at her own obliviousness for a few more seconds before she shoves the feeling aside for later. It won't do Sasha any good now.
Reaching out to cup a hand around Sasha's clenched one, Mikasa says as softly as she can: "You're not a pain, Sasha. You can stay as long as you like. And I don't just let you stay - I want you here."
Sasha exhales quietly and deeply, as though a large weight has suddenly eased off of her lungs. Her fist unclenches as she allows Mikasa's fingers to interlock with hers.
They'll talk about it more in the morning, or perhaps another day. But for now Mikasa keeps herself awake until she hears Sasha's breathing settle into soft snores, before letting herself fall asleep to the feeling of Sasha's palm and wrist warm against hers.
--
“I have to go soon. Sasha's sleeping over tonight.”
“Again? You guys are really close, huh?” Jean says, surprised. “I knew you were friends but she seems to stay over a lot.”
"Armin stays over a lot too."
"Yeah, but you three have been joined at the hip since birth or something."
Mikasa considers telling him – or at least imply that Sasha's home life is difficult. Maybe then he wouldn't feel so bad about Mikasa choosing to accompany Sasha tonight instead of him. But in the end she merely shrugs and says: “We're just good friends. Besides, bros before... you know.”
Sasha taught her that phrase last week.
It startles a laugh out of her boyfriend who holds her tighter for a moment before pulling away completely.
“Alright, I get it. Here's your bra by the way, bro.”
"No, you're the you know."
"I know." Jean smiles as he tugs on his shirt. "I like being the you know."
"Too many 'o' sounds." Mikasa frowns before she lets Jean kiss it away.
It's late when she finally arrives home. Much later than when she promised Sasha. And her mother. She tries to slip upstairs unnoticed, but Eren's elephant ears betray her.
"MUM, MIKASA'S BACK FROM HER BOYFRIEND'S."
Before Mikasa can even figure out where his voice is coming from, her path is blocked by their mother. One look at Carla Jaeger's expression has Mikasa apologising immediately.
"You could have called."
"My phone died." Mikasa says lamely.
"Does Jean not have a charger?"
He probably did, but Mikasa certainly wasn't thinking about it at the time. But that's not really an appropriate excuse, so she doesn't complain when Carla chastises her for another few minutes.
"And it's not just me you've kept waiting." Carla says sternly. She tilts her head meaningfully towards the staircase. Mikasa nods back meaningfully. Carla shakes her head meaningfully.
When she's released from her mum's hard stare, Mikasa takes one of Eren's discarded trainers from the doormat and goes upstairs. She quietly opens the door to Eren's bedroom before pelting him on the back of his head with the shoe.
"Oi!"
"You're supposed to have my back in these situations, you jerk."
"I did warn you about canoodling."
"Jerk." Mikasa repeats, and glances around Eren's room. "Where's Sasha?"
"She said she wanted to wait in your room." He says, frowning. "She seemed kinda bummed out so I didn't bother her. That was hours ago though."
Mikasa closes her eyes at the stab of guilt in her chest. She crosses the room to lift Eren's trainer just to smack his arm with it before leaving. She wishes she could smack Jean with a shoe too, but that wouldn't be fair. It's probably only forty percent his fault.
She enters her own room quietly in case Sasha is already asleep. But she's sitting upright in the centre of the bed, clearly awake and wearing Mikasa's Manchester United shirt.
"I'm sorry." Mikasa says and Sasha shrugs. Her knees are hugged to her chest, causing the shirt to bunch around her hips and leave her thighs bare. There are bruises on her shins from football as well as goosebumps. Mikasa realises that she's staring and asks Sasha if she's cold but Sasha only shrugs again in answer.
Mikasa steps into the room and shuts the door. She waits for Sasha to say something, and starts to change her clothes when it becomes clear that neither one of them is going to speak.
She takes her time getting dressed, knowing that Sasha only gets quiet when she's genuinely upset about something. Normally Sasha would whine and cling to Mikasa when she was hurt or irritated, but her silence is a sign of something more than Mikasa's tardiness upsetting her.
So Mikasa brushes her teeth as thoroughly as possible, allowing her friend time to collect her thoughts, before clambering onto the bed and sitting across from her.
"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"
"They're gettin' divorced."
Mikasa doesn't know what to say. She had expected this eventually, but she had never figured out what she should say when it happened. She never knew what she wanted others to say when it was her parents separating either.
She can see Sasha struggling to say something else, and she's overcome with the urge to take Sasha's hand. But both of her hands are clasped tightly around her legs, so Mikasa leans forward with the intention to pry them apart and take them in her own.
"And I told them I like girls."
Mikasa blinks. She hadn't expected that. "Why did you tell them that?"
Sasha swallows. "Because... I like girls."
Mikasa wonders if her shock is registering on her face when Sasha jokingly adds: "Thought that was obvious by now."
Her leg twitches, and they both look down to see Mikasa's hands clasped around the back of Sasha's ankles. Something must have gone wrong in the second between Mikasa's hand-holding attempt and Sasha's confession.
They start at the sound of the bedroom door opening and Mikasa snatches her hands back.
Eren peers around the door frame before stepping in. "You're both still up? I can't sleep either. Feel like watching something?"
Mikasa sneaks a glance at Sasha who seems to be studying her toenails and trying to look as small as possible. Something aches a little in Mikasa's chest.
She slides off the bed and crosses the room to her brother.
"No boys allowed." She says, and ushers a surprised Eren into the hallway before closing the door.