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Chapter Text

“Uh..can I ask you something?”

The hallway is empty, the living room, kitchen, too, and there’s this kind of silence that’s only ever available when no one else is home. Still, Draken shuts, locks, Mikey’s door when he steps through the threshold of his bedroom. He’s paranoid, maybe, or just doesn’t want this conversation to be heard, if someone manages to be nearby, able to hear it. There always seems to be someone - something, lurking in the Sano household. 

He finds himself in the middle of darkness and mess. A lot of mess. Everything is everywhere - mountains of clothes, stacks of cups, piles of school books and homework - and a smell. Not bad but very strong. It’s a mix of deodorant and - and fuck, Draken guesses bleach - but he can’t imagine Mikey ever cleaning anything, Emma on the other hand...

Oh, speaking of, that reminds him -

He shrugs his hands into his pocket. “Hey, d’you hear me, Mikey?” It’s difficult, but when he squints hard enough, he can make out the still figure laid diagonally over his bed. Mikey sleeps weird - like he’s dying, Michi had said once. Draken can’t argue. Even now, he’s all in this fetal position, clutching at his stomach, with an avalanche of blankets weighing on his body. 

“Mikey.” He calls, impatient. He knows the other male values sleep - but it’s 3 in the afternoon, the sun's out and he should be awake anyway cause they have a meeting soon.

A muffled groan rises from the bed. “Yeah?”

“You awake?” Draken’s pulls the blinds, and immediately the sunlight pours into his room, revealing a zombified Mikey, rising up slowly from his enclosure.

“What does it look like?” He yawns, fiddling with poofy, blonde hair. 

Draken’s lips are pressed into a thin line. “Right, yeah, I’ve got a question.”

Mikey blinks at him, finally making sense of his presence. “Since when were you here, anyway?”

“Since the morning. Grandpa opened the door for me, I’ve been helping out.”

“Did you make breakfast?”

“I made lunch.”

Mikey ohs and flops himself back onto his mattress. “What’s your question?”

Oh yeah - Draken keeps letting it slip his brain. He sits on the edge of Mikey’s bed. “It’s about Emma.”

There's a pause. “Yeah? What about her,” Mikey says, sounding somehow tireder.

“...Did she say anything about me?”

“No.”

The response is too quick. Draken quirks a brow. “Yeah? You sure? Nothin’ at all?”

Mikey brings his blankets closer to his body. “Nothing bad. She talks about you, yeah, shit ton, but its never bad.”

Something buzzes in his brain. “Really? What does she say?” Draken leans over to the shorter male, curiously.

“Good stuff, Ken-chin.” Mikey mumbles. “It’s gonna be weird if I repeat it.”

He tells him to do it anyway. 

Mikey looks at the ceiling as he thinks. “You're handsome, charming-”

“Okay, you're right.” Draken absently picks up a shirt from Mikey’s pile. “It is weird.”

“Why are you asking, anyway? Gonna break up?”

“What - no? I mean -”

“You're gonna break up with Emma?” Mikey’s sat up now, eyes wide. “Don’t break up with my baby sister!”

“I’m not breaking up with her, calm down! It’s just, I don’t know, she’s been acting weird, yeah?”

“Not to me.” Mikey shrugs, frown sunken deep. “Did you do somethin’ wrong?”

He scoops his face into his palms. “Not that I can think of.” He lets out a sigh. Fuck, does Draken love Emma. But she has been acting more distant recently…and just strangely, overall. He’s been going in circles in his mind, trying to wrap around what it exactly is.

“You reckon she’s going to do it?” Mikey is sitting beside him now, with a thin blanket wrapped around his body. “Y’know - break up.”

“Don’t know.” Draken sighs. 

“I can ask her.” Mikey suggests.

“No, no - don’t. Don’t worry about that, it’s probably nothing. I mean, all couples go through this, right?”

The other male cracks his back. “You should be askin’ Takemichi about this kinda stuff.”

“Tried to call him, but no response.”

“Seriously?” Mikey grins at him. “He always answers his phone first call.”

Draken lets out a snort. “Yeah, probably busy with Hina or something.”

“Yeah, what ‘bout Kisaki?”

“The fuck does Kisaki know about women?”

“Dunno..he seems…wise.”

“Wise,” Draken echoes, and he laughs. He doesn’t know why, but he’s never liked Kisaki. At the beginning, he wasn’t the only one - Baji, Pah-chin, Mitsuya, Kazutora - they were all weary of him. But they all managed to warm up. Not Draken, though. He’s never seen Kisaki for more than what he seems to be on the exterior - a rich kid who wants to roleplay their life. It’s only been a few months; when it gets real bloody and nasty, that’s when Draken reckons Kisaki will bail. He hopes.

“I don’t think I even have his number saved.”

Mikey nudges his shoulder. “Why the hell not? Y’know, he’s important as hell.”

“He's a vice captain.”

“Don't care - Kisaki’s really damn cool. I wanna be like him.” Mikey grins.

Draken really thinks Mikey is joking - because Mikey’s the coolest fucking kid Draken knows. Kisaki’s the lamest. But the other male is grinning at him with pure sincerity. 

“He’s alright.” Draken acknowledges. “That’s all he is. Alright. You're so easily impressed - like a little kid.”

Mikey presses his lips to a pout. “You’re so mean, Ken-chin. Kisaki’s gonna be my new best-friend.”

“Go ahead.” Draken smirks. “I’ll have a whole lot more time on my hands.”

“As if you wouldn’t miss me.”

“Yeah, as if.” 

A few hours later, after some arguing, frantic searching, eating, more arguing, Mikey is propped onto the back of Draken’s motorcycle with his hands wrapped around the taller male's waist comfortably.

“Is there seriously a meeting today?” Mikey asks. In the near horizon, the setting sun peers down golden ribbons of sunlight. The tires crack and pop underneath the gravel. “I swear there was just one - last week,”

“Sure there is, about the uniform changes." Draken recalled.

“Right.” Mikey presses his head against his back. “Shit, yeah, I remember now."

Draken hums in response.

The meeting is only between Division captains and vice captains. It lasts no longer than an hour and they end up in a little hole in the wall ramen shop Kisaki’s heard about, owned by some old grumpy grandpa who lets them order as much beer as they want.

Draken finds himself stuffed in a corner beside Takemichi, slurping down on noodles and sipping on juice. He isn’t much of a drinker and he’s got to drive home. They all do, actually, but Baji’s attempting to climb a table, and Mitsuya’s arm wrestling with Pah-chin, and Chifuyu’s chuggin’ down beer, whilst Kisaki blindly cheers him on. He doesn’t even know what the rest of them are doing; Nahoya and Hakkai look like they’re chatting it up to the old man, while Sanzu’s guarding the booth Mikey’s napping on like a guard dog.

Seems like they’re all walking home. Or spending the night on deflated, stained booth chairs.

“Don’t know why-” Takemichi says as he wipes the froth off his lips, “I always imagined you as a drinker.”

Draken grins at the flushed male, before shaking his head. “Nah. It ain’t for me. A drink or two is fine but,” He looks around at the chaos. “I hate losing control.”

“Fair enough. The ladies don’t like it either.” He nudges him playfully, then seems to come to a realization. “Man, Hina’s gonna kill me.”

He lets out a soft chuckle. It’s been a few months since Takemichi’s joined Toma. But Draken feels like he’s known the other male his entire life. He’s so likeable, so damn friendly. Sure, he can’t fight for shit, which pisses Draken off occasionally, but he’s got enough spirit for the whole lot of them. And he’s saved their asses enough time with his words alone to gain Draken’s respect. 

“Hows it going with her?” He queries.

“Good, great! It’s…perfect, actually. I’m so damn happy!” 

His joy feels a bit overexaggerated, but Draken smiles nevertheless. “Good to hear.” The other male hums in agreement, takes another swig of his beer before turning to him. 

And that’s when Draken knows it’s gonna be his turn to answer that question. He prepares himself mentally. The whole evening, he’s managed to push Emma to the back of his mind. And now she’s slowly creeping back up.

“What about you? You’ve been quiet about Emma, lately.”

“I have?” Draken blinks, in surprise. Was he ever loud about her? 

“Yeah, I kinda noticed it..but didn’t wanna push.”

Draken plays with his ramen. He’s not the type of person to open up to anyone - except Mikey, and occasionally Mitsuya. He knows everyone is going through their own problems, and he doesn’t want to burden his friends with his. But then again, this topic isn’t too sensitive - he thinks. It’s just Emma. 

“I don’t know what’s happening.” He admits, stops absently stirring his soup. “I still love her…but it’s different now.”

Takemichi nods at him to continue.

“I know she feels it, too. It’s like the spark just died. We spent years crushing on each-other, then when we got together, it felt like it just was meant to be - but now..” He draws off, because he doesn’t really know what else to say.

“I understand.” Takemichi says, smiling thoughtfully at him. “Y’know, it’s normal for the spark to fade. You spend so much time with someone that it doesn’t excite you anymore. But - I think it’s important to communicate how you feel with her. Who knows, maybe she’s wondering the same thing. Communication is the key for a successful relationship!”

“Yeah, I will.” Draken nods to himself. They slurp their ramen in silence for a while until Draken turns to him. “Man, Takemichi, you speak so wisely. Sometimes, I can’t believe you're the same age as us.”

The other male lets out an almost nervous chuckle. “I get that alot. I guess I’m just experienced in these kinds of situations.”

He quirks a doubtful brow. “Isn’t Hina your first girlfriend?”

“Yes..but…just from being with her, I learnt a lot of things. I’m so grateful for our relationship. I think - I think it’s really helped me grow as a person.”

Draken lets out a snort at the other males' sappiness. “Man, you’re drunk as hell. You should call her.”

“Yeah..” Takemichi drawled out, sitting back in his booth and shutting his eyes. “Life is great.”

“Sure is.” Draken agrees, dryly. He takes a look around. And then he wonders - how come, in a time like this, he’s backed in a corner, eating Ramen, sipping tea, like an old man? Why the hell is he not enjoying this moment? He presumes it’s because of Emma. In the midst of all the chaos, his eyes lock with Kisaki and a dreadful feeling sinks in him.

Kisaki always had a punchable face, but recently, and Draken doesn’t know when it started, his knuckles itch harder every time he sees him. He has the urge to just attack the male right there, like he has something to get back at him for. He doesn’t know what. Is it just a thing? Or is it seriously a gut-feeling? Maybe Kisaki’s done something he doesn’t know about yet. He squints at the other male suspiciously. They’re still making eye-contact. Draken thinks he can hold it for an eternity. Something with Emma..maybe? No way. They haven’t even met properly. Something with Toman..? Nah, he doubts it–

Kisaki breaks the eye-contact first. Draken doesn’t even realise he’s still watching him, until he blinks, and sees the other male’s eyes flash to Mikey’s sleeping body, then back to his friends.

“I swear…somethings off about that guy.”

Takemichi’s eyes snap open. “Huh? Who?”

He cocks his head in the direction of Chifuyu’s table. “Your vice captain. Tell me he isn’t weird.”

“Kisaki?” Takemichi echoes. He observes him momentarily. “He isn’t the normal type of guy to be in a gang, I guess. He’s quiet and reserved.”

“He’s always been weird.” Draken mumbles, but he can’t deny what Takemichi’s saying. Kisaki has somehow been acting even stranger than before. He thinks it may have started a few weeks ago; when they found him lying in the snow, clueless and slightly panicked. 

“He’s good for Toman.” Takemichi says, matter of factly. “He’s smart - not saying you’re not, but he’s like…a genius! The brains of Toman.”

“Nothing he does impresses me.” Draken shrugs, maybe a bit bitterly. Seriously; the hell does Mikey see in this guy? Is there something everyone else sees that Draken’s missing? A loud commotion rises from their table. Everyone’s surrounding Kisaki as he begins to gulp down a jug of beer.

“What do you think of him?” He sneaks up on Baji, later. They’re stood outside the bar. It’s past midnight, nearing closer to morning now.

Baji blinks at him dumbly. “Who?”

Draken turns his head towards the other male, who’s calling for an uber on his phone.

“Oh, Kisaki? He’s cool..I guess.”

“You guess?” Draken echoes.

“I mean - he acts kinda like a weirdo, but I don’t know him that well -  maybe that’s just the way he is.”

“There’s something off about him.” Draken mumbles. 

Baji shrugs. “Can’t really argue with that.”

“So you agree?”

Baji looks puzzled. “Whats wrong with you? Why are you so against him?”

“I-“

Then, the other male presses his face against his and smirks, “What, scared he’s gonna become Mikey’s new best friend?”

Draken shoves him off, kissing his teeth. “Shut up-“ Baji continues chuckling

It’s not that, he wants to add, but he thinks he needs to give it a rest. Maybe he is overreacting. Maybe Kisaki’s just weird, and there’s nothing else to it.

At that moment, Kisaki gets off the phone and turns to them. “Called a friend, he’ll get here in five.”

In a blink of an eye, he’s watching seven of his friends all trying to stuff themselves in the back of some shitty honda. Sanzu and Mikey are howling at their expense.

Draken is watching intently at the guy sitting in the driver's seat. 

He looks sketchy. Tall, with badly bleached hair, a lazy eye, cigarette dangling off his lips. He notices Draken and sticks his head out the window.

“Hey,” He calls. “You’re the guy, ain’t you? From where ‘m from, they call you the dragon.”

He leans against the car and crouches, some-what curious. “That’s me. Toman’s vice captain.”

“Mhm. ‘m a big fan.” He smirks, displaying a set of pearly whites. 

Draken feels a shove and suddenly Mikey’s taken his spot. 

“Y-y’know me?” He starts, drunkenly, gripping onto the car for support. “‘m Mikey, Toman’s leader!”

The guys smirk stretches as he shakes Mikey’s hand. “Course I know you, Invincibile Mikey. Pleasure to meet you. The names Hanma Shuji.”

“Hanma Shuji.” Mikey stutters. “Hey, don’t kill my friends, okay? Or I’ll fuckin’ kill you.”

Hanma lets out a howl of laughter.

“Mikey, we’re fine!” Mitsuya reassures as he’s wrestling Baji for a seat.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Invincible Mikey.” He grins. Mikey continues staring at him, blankly.

“Alright.” Kisaki straightens his uniform. “We should get going now.” He turns to Draken and Sanzu. “You sure you’re going to be fine?”

They both nod in unison.

“Yeah, I haven’t drank a dime.” Draken shrugs.

Kisaki glances over to Mikey, and even though it seems like he wants to say something, he doesn’t. He climbs into the passenger seat. 

Draken watches as the red honda gets smaller and smaller until it’s gone. 

“So,” He says, turning around. “Guess we should get going, too.”

Sanzu hums and begins walking over to where his bike is tied down. 

“Ken-chin,”

It’s barely above a whisper. He looks over to Mikey - and the shorter male’s gone pale, pale as hell. He’s stumbling, slightly, clutching onto his stomach –

And then he spews his guts out right then and there, inches away from Draken’ pristine new sneakers.

The ride home feels way longer than it actually is. They stop three times because Mikey feels sick, stop twice because there’s something wrong with Sanzu’s bike, and stop once because the sun starts rising and the sunrise is too beautiful not to watch.

It’s 5:30 in the morning when they finally reach the Sano household. Sanzu mutters something about how he has to go, and then Draken’s carrying a barely conscious Mikey inside.

He tried to be as quiet as possible. But his only light source is the dimmed sunlight pouring through the curtains, so he’s bumping into everything and Mikey’s drooling on him like a bitch and -

“Fuck-“ He lets out a groan as the lights snap open and hit his eyes. 

“Draken?” Emma croaks out. She sets aside the bat she was holding and hurries over to help the taller male. Usually, handling Mikey is nothing, but fuck, it’s hard when he’s drunk  and fidgety and got vomit all over him.

They lay him on the couch. And they look at each other, then look at Mikey, then Draken looks up to look at Emma, and she’s already looking at him. 

Takemichi’s voice rings in the back of his head. Communication is key. 

“We haven’t seen each-other all day, huh?” He muses a smile, leaning down and giving her a small kiss.

Emma lets out a small giggle. “Stop, are you drunk or something?”

“Fully sober,” He corrected, then quirked his head to Mikey, “He’s the one you need to worry about. Threw up three times on the ride home.”

She shakes her head disapprovingly. “Damn moron doesn’t know his own limits. Where were you guys this late, anyway? Grandpa was worried.”

“Our meeting ended early, we got food at some ramen restaurant and stayed longer than intended.” Draken shrugs. “It’s fine, Emma, it’s the weekend.”

“Weekend my ass.” She scoffed, grabbing onto his arm. “Come on, Draken. You guys need to stop messing around. Get Mikey to go to school this week, alright? I’m worried about him, he’s never focusing.”

“School is bullshit, Emma. You think he’s gonna study and become what, a doctor?” He grinned - even the idea of Mikey, all polished up and in a lab coat made him laugh.

“Better than becoming homeless.” She frowned.

“Homeless? He’s got some big dreams. Ruling over Tokyo, and what-not.”

“Don’t make me laugh.” She smiled. “Shit it, I’m so annoyed. Guys are so stupid.”

“Excuse me?”

“Goodnight, Draken.”

He watched, dumbfounded, as she planted a small, gentle kiss on his cheek before disappearing off into the hallway and switching the lights off. Seconds later, her bedroom door slams shut.

Guess that means he’s taking the couch, then.

But even after getting comfy in the only corner Mikey’s whole body isn’t sprawled over, he still can’t sleep. The light to Emma’s bedroom is shining through the gap beneath the door. She’s awake. Why is she still awake? What is she doing there?

Shit, now Draken’s annoyed too. Relationships are so confusing.

He tosses and turns for an eternity before Emma’s light switches off. And then, he too falls asleep.

Chapter Text

A right hook to the neck, a left kick to the knee.

When Mikey fights, it feels like he’s really dancing. Every punch slices cleanly through the air, every kick leaves ripples of shockwaves. Every move, every graze of his finger-tips is so calculated, so careful. 

“Damn it.” Pah-chin spits out his mouth guard. There’s blood trickling down his nose, smeared across his lips. “You got me, man. I tap out.” He hops off the ring, gnawing his gloves off with his teeth.

“Come on!” Mikey whines, leaning against the ropes. “That was only round one. I want a good, long fight.”

“Fuck you, asshole.” The other male frowned. “How do you have so much energy? We’ve been workin’ out for two hours straight.”

It’s sometime too early in the morning. Draken had managed to wake up at 6:00AM, managed to wake up Mikey, too, drag him to the gym. They were doing their usual drills until the others came along.  Someone said something about how long it’s been since they’ve gotten in an actual fight. And that’s how they ended up spending a rainy Sunday morning sparring. Mikey’s gone through everyone already; Baji, Chifuyu, Takemichi (which was probably the quickest match Draken’s ever seen, by the way) and now Pah-chin. 

“Why the hell did I even come here?” Pah-chin rasped, chugging some water. “I’m so hung-over.”

“Yeah, that’s why I never drink.” Draken says, unhelpfully, maybe a bit smug, hopping off the pull up bar he was hanging on. 

“Yeah, dickhead? Spar Mikey, then.”

“I’m good. He’s tired himself out.”

“Has he?”

They both looked back over to where he’s circling the ring, attacking the air with phantom punches.

“The hell does this runt eat?” Baji frowned. “He drank way more than me last night yet he’s still prancing about.”

Chifuyu let out a snort. “No one drank more than you.” 

“Come on, Draken, give it a go at least. You can land a blow or two.” Pah chin encouraged, patting his back. “It’ll shut him up, too, for a while.”

Eh, why not? It’s been a while since the two of them have fought. He shrugged on the pair of leather gloves. “Hey, Mikey!” 

His best friend grinned at him. “Another opponent? Keep them coming!”

Draken stepped into the ring. And the minute he did, the atmosphere changed. The lights dimmed(thanks to Baji), rain smashed harder against the windows, and all eyes were on the stage. No big deal, just a friendly match between Toman’s strongest.

As calm and collected Mikey’s fighting was, it ‘s also really unpredictable. 

Round one started slow. Painstakingly slow. They circled each other around the ring for what felt like an eternity. Draken waited for Mikey to make the first move. Whatever it was, he needed to block it. But it seemed like Mikey was doing the same thing.

“Stop playing tag!” Baji booed from the side. Draken turned over to him for mili second and- 

That’s when Mikey charged at him.

Draken hates assholes who bring weapons to a brawl, assholes who gang up on one person, assholes sneak up on someone when they’re offguard; asswholes who play dirty because they can’t win cleanly. But when it comes to Mikey, he doesn’t care for rules. He knows every move Mikey’s got and Mikey knows every move Draken’s got. He thinks, if they tried and thought about it hard, they could synchronize their movements to the nearest perfection.

He plummets to the ground and gets a good taste of the floor.

Ooh!

Takemichi and Chifuyu start cheering whilst Baji commentates on some cheap microphone. Round 1 over! Mikey one, Draken 0. 

Draken gets up. He’s not going down that easy. And plus, Emma’s words from last night are ringing in his head, which reminds him he’s yet to mention it to Mikey -

“Hey, Mikey,” He says, bringing his hands to his chin. “If I win this, you gotta do me a favour.”

“Like you’re gonna win, Ken-chin.” Mikey grinned. Cocky bastard. The worst thing is, he had every right to be cocky. Because seconds later, Draken’s on the floor again, protecting his face as Mikey lands another kick to his elbow.

“Ah fuck!”

Round 2 over! Mikey 2, Draken 0.

They go back to their corners and he wipes his face with a towel.

“You can do it, Draken!” Takemichi cheered. Damn moron’s cheering for both teams. 

“Come on, at least kick him.” Baji frowned. “Even I landed more blows on him in the first round.”

“You touched him once.”

“Better than Draken’s zero!”

Draken frowned as he adjusted his gloves. “The hell are you all surrounding my corner for? Give Mikey some support.”

“Seems like he doesn’t need it.” Pah-chin shrugged.

“..When did Kisaki get here, by the way?” 

Immediately, his head spins up.

On Mikey’s side of the ring, Kisaki was standing there, talking to him, hand laced gracefully around his shoulder.

Draken’s eye twitches.

“No idea.” Pah-chin mumbled. “Speakin’ of Kisaki, was it just me or was he being weird as hell in the car yesterday?”

“Weird?” Draken looked at him, eyes widened. He knew he wasn’t going crazy. “What do you mean weir-”

“Round 3 starting!” Baji’s voice boomed. Asshole.

He watched Kisaki pat Mikey’s shoulder as he made it over to the centre of the ring.

Fuck. Draken can't focus, now. Everytime he peers at Mikey, he catches Kisaki’s silhouette standing not too far behind. 

Mikey comin’ in with a one-two. Swift dodge from Draken. 

“Oh my god, shut up, Keisuke-”

Ah, now he’s risin’ his leg for a hook and - oh! Shit! It was a damn ruse! And -

Bang. His fist makes contact with Mikey's face.

Draken punches Mikey! 

The whole room roars with cheers and he feels the ground shift in weight as everyone hops onto the ring, celebrating like he actually won something. 

“It was one punch!” Mikey stomped over to them, a trail of blood following him.“I let him have it cause I felt bad!”

“Yeah; right!” Baji grinned, throwing an arm around the shorter male. “No need to get so salty cause Draken beat you.”

“Mikey…your nose…it’s bleeding alot! Takemichi pointed out, somewhat panicked. “Do you need a towel?”

“I’m fine!” Mikey pouted, “By the way, Baji washes his feet with that towel!”

“Oi, that’s not true!”

“Ew, gross, what the hell man!?”

“Is that why it stinks like shit?”

“Good game, Draken.” Kisaki grinned; and fuck, it really takes every muscle in Draken not to jump out of his own skin. For the scheming bitch he is, Kisaki’s footsteps are near silent.

“Thanks,” Draken chugs down some water. “I didn’t notice you walked in.”

How does he even know about this place? It’s an abandoned warehouse located on the outskirts of Shibuya - Takemichi had managed to score their equipment from a junkyard. Sure it creaks and screeches but none of them can afford an actual, real gym membership - this is the next best option. Their own damn gym.

That was a few months back, before Kisaki joined Toman. No one knew about it except his friends. From what he knows, word never got around.

Kisaki's eyes narrow, and he parts his lips, and Draken’s genuinely interested in what his explanation is.

“Takemichi invited me.”

Fuck - Draken hates how that probably isn’t even a lie, either.

“Let’s go grab a bite.” Kisaki directs his attention to the rest of the room. “It’s on me!”

It actually isn’t anything special at all. The cafe is OK, the food is mediocre, a bit too salty for Draken’s liking. Yet no one can stop thanking and praising Kisaki; like he’s some sort of God for paying for a bill that will probably amount to less than 3000 Yen. His glasses are gold-rimmed. This meal won’t burn the smallest hole in his wallet. He won’t even notice the money gone. He’s winning them over with cheap prizes.

“Why are you so gloomy?” Mikey asks. There’s bloody tissues shoved up his nose, a coat of yakult on his lips. “I’m the one that lost.”

Draken’s lips perk at a smile. “If we continued, I would've been taken down.”

“I know.” He says, smugly, stretching his arms. “Sooo, what’s the favour you were talkin’ about?”

“Oh,” Draken waves his hand - it feels insignificant now; he almost dismisses it as a whole, but then Emma’s nagging echoes in his mind, and he loves her, “You and me, we’re going to classes tomorrow.”

“Classes?” Mikey tilts his head. “You’re taking karate again?”

“No, like, classes where you learn things. School, Mikey.”

“School?” He echoes, like the word is foreign, like he’s never heard it before. And then he pouts. “No. That’s boooring.”

“So you’re just gonna sleep all day?” Draken questions. “Your attendance is so bad. When was the last time you even went?”

“The last time you went.” Mikey fires back.

So…two weeks ago. Great, wow, yeah, maybe there really is a problem: with the both of them. Draken has just been busy. School is important, he knows. At least he makes an effort when he’s there, though. Mikey sleeps through every class. “My grades are good. You're failing like every subject.”

“Not-”

“Not PE.” Draken beats him, “Yeah, but who fails PE, anyway?”

“Okay, fine.” Mikey pouts. “I’ll go but you have to wake me up.”

“When haven’t I woken you up? I swear, if it weren’t for me, you’d sleep the whole day.”

Mikey stretches his arms, fidgeting with the tissues. “I’m conserving my energy.”

Draken snorts and finishes off his tea. On the other side of him, Chifuyu and Takemichi are whispering to each-other.

“What?” Mikey frowns, noticing the lack of presence. “Where did everyone go?”

Chifuyu says, “Kisaki went to pay.” And then he pauses, “Pah and Baji have..homework?” He sounds unsure. “They left like, just now.”

“Homework?” Mikey grins. “Is that a code for something? I don’t think I’ve seen Baji hold a pencil before.”

“Are they coming back? I need to talk to Pah-chin. Or - hey, can I ask you guys something?”

“Yeah, what is it?” Takemichi asks, brow quirked.

“What was Pah-chin talking about, back there? He said Kisaki was acting weird yesterday, when he was dropping you guys off - in the car.”

Takemichi and Chifuyu exchange confused looks.

“I don’t remember anything,” Takemichi admits, scratching his neck, “I was really drunk, you saw yourself - sorry Draken.”

“Me neither.” Chifuyu shrugs. “He seems like a good guy though, right?”

“He is!” Mikey slammed his fist on the table. “Ken-chin is so paranoid. Why can’t you believe he’s genuinely a good guy?”

Draken watches where Kisaki is hunched over the cashier, receipt in hand. He scrunches the paper, shoves it in his pocket before making his way to the bathroom. “There’s something off about him. Everyone was suspicious of him at first, too. He’s done nothing to prove himself.”

“Then how come you’re the only one who’s suspicious of him?”

“I just have a gut feeling, okay?”

“That gut feeling is wrong!”

“Tell me one time I’ve been wrong, Mikey.”

Mikey's eyes bore into his. And then, he sighs; deflates, like a balloon, rests his head on the table, a pout on his lips. “Whatever. You’re still wrong.”

Draken sits back in his seat, throws one leg over the other and crosses his arms. “Even if I am, does it hurt making sure he’s not some psychopath trying to tear us down?”

“Isn’t he like…thirteen?” Chifuyu looks over to Takemichi.

Takemichi nods slowly, scratching his neck. “I mean, honestly, Draken has a point. Toman’s got a lot to lose.”

“Oh -” Chiufyu mumbles, fiddling with his hands, “Yeah, I guess so -”

“I said drop it!” Mikey barks, fists slammed against the table. “What I say goes, okay?” His eyes land on Draken’s, stare unwavering.

“I’m not scared.” Draken shrugs: he isn’t. but he is confused on why the fuck Mikey’s so defensive over a guy he hardly knows.

“Fuck this.” Mikey grumbles. Draken listens to the sound of his chair screeching against the wood and watches as he slings his bag over his torso. “’m leavin’.” 

Chifuyu looks at Draken, then Takemichi.  “Shouldn’t we stop him or something?”

“No, it’s fine,” Takemichi says, then looks over to Draken for conformation.

“Just let him be.” Draken nods. The whole room shakes as the door slams shut.

    It’s raining: violent and harsh. And it’s cold; Hanma can feel the wind through the dustied windows of his Honda Civic. 

He’s driving aimlessly through the outskirts of the neighbourhood, where this thick fog is closing in on Shibuya. It’s creepy, kind of, and makes him feel like the world is ending. His right hand rests on the wheel while his left is fidgeting with his phone, trying to find a way to turn down Kisaki’s nagging.

“I’m using the staff bathroom to call you,” Kisaki says, and he can hear the frown etched on his lips, “Please tell me you’ve got some information on Kurokawa.”

He has to register the name in his mind. Izana Kurokawa. Oh - right. 

“Not exactly -” Hanma mumbles as he makes a turn. In reality, he hasn’t even touched all that stuff Kisaki had told him to do over like - a week ago. What can he say, he’s a busy man. And it’s not like he’s being paid, anyway. “Don’t worry,” He singsongs, “I’ll get it done.”

“Yeah, when?” Kisaki grits, shuffling his phone around, “What the fuck have you been doing this whole time?”

“Stuff,” Hanma shrugs, vaguely, “Izana’s a hard man to reach, alright? I’ve texted Ran Haitini.” He hasn’t.

“I don’t trust him.” Kiskai says. You don’t trust anyone, Hanma wants to argue, but he stops when he catches a familiar figure in his side mirror.

“You would not fucking guess who I see right now.”

“Who?”

He slows down his car, gradually, until he’s so close he can count the light freckles on Mikey’s skin. “Manjiro-fucking-Sano.”

There’s a pause. “That isn’t funny.” Kisaki deadpans.

“Not trying to be.” Hanma whistles as he leans over to take a better look. It’s definitely Mikey - just a lot more sober than when Hanma had last seen him. A lot more angry, too; fists clenched, as he’s glaring down at the ground. “Grey hoodie, grey sweatpants, bloody lip-”

“It’s his nose.” There’s a pause. “-Swear to god, he was literally just with me.” Kisaki kisses his teeth. “Where are you?”

He reads out the closest sign and scans his surroundings, “But I don’t see you anywhere.”

“I’m in this cafe, a street behind.” Kisaki mumbles. He hears the sound of a door clicking. “Yeah, he’s gone. It’s just Hanagaki, his friend and Draken.”

“Want me to talk to him?”

“No. Actually, I don’t care. Just don’t mess things up. Find something out about Kurokawa. Something I can use.”

The line goes flat. Hanma wonders if he should start charging Kisaki for his services. He’s wasted too much time and effort on the other male, and has never gotten anything close to a thank-you-

He lowers his window, watches as Mikey halts and finally raises his head. His charcoal eyes go sharp - like a felines.

-sometimes, though, Hanma thinks the work pays for itself.

“Hey, Mikey,” He grins, with his teeth. 

Immediately, Mikey shoots him this spine-chilling glare. “Who the fuck are you?”

Hanma quirks a brow, scoffs with faux hurt, “You seriously forgot about me already?”

His lips purse into a pout, and he looks at him like he’s nothing. 

Hanma extends his palm, “I’m Tett- Kisaki’s friend, we met last night,” He reminds him, noticing the way Mikey’s eyes soften ever so slightly and his lips hang agar.

“You’re friends with Kisaki?”

“Yeah, that’s me.” Hanma hums. “You need a ride?” There's droplets of rain soaking the inside of his car. 

Mikey glances at him and smears some blood across his face as he wipes his nose.

Hanma clicks the car door open. And he doesn’t motion for Mikey to get in, just watches him with a quirked brow.

He doesn’t plan on killing Mikey.

First of all, Kisaki would actually kill him - and that isn’t an exaggeration. Secondly, he thinks Mikey could probably kill him empty handed. Hanma hasn’t been fortunate enough to see him fight first-hand, but he’s heard the many stories. 

So, naturally, he’s left curious on who the hell managed to leave that nasty blow on him, leaving him rubbing and sniffing his nose.

“Looks like the cat did a number on you, huh?” Hanma whistles, glancing at him. They’re off the main road, taking a small detour. When Hanma had asked Mikey where he should take him, Mikey hadn’t given him an answer. - just told him to drive.

Mikey lands his hand to his bloodied nose, like it’s his first time noticing it. “Draken got me. We were sparring.”

Draken. Yeah - Hanma knows Draken, especially. Tall, blonde hair, dragon tattoo. Where Hanma’s from, Draken’s equally a big deal as Mikey. And He drives Kisaki fucking crazy.

 “I wouldn’t mind sparring with you some time.” He grins. 

“Maybe, sometime.” Mikey shrugs. “Do you know karate?”

“I dabble in a bit of everything. Karate, taekwondo…”

“What’s your name again?”

Ouch. Way to chip at his ego. Hanma coughs out another chuckle. “You can call me Hanma.”

“Hanma.” Mikey echoes, monotoned. He looks up at him. “Can I ask you something, Hanma?”

He hummed. 

“Is Kisaki a good person?”

He laughed. Genuinely; that really made him fucking laugh. And he thinks, in some way, Kisaki would laugh, too, if he’d heard it himself.

The truth is, no matter how many timelines he travels through, how many things he does differently - Kisaki could never be a good person. Hanma knows, because Hanma is wired the exact same way. They’re selfish, the both of them; taking and taking and taking until theres nothing left to take. Maybe that’s what makes them work so well - their shared disregard for anyone else, their inability for friendships, love, trust - it’s what built theirs.

The short answer is no. In no possible universe is Kisaki Tetta the good guy. He would burn down a whole city to keep himself warm for the night.

Instead, he asks;

“What does that even mean? Being a good person? No one is truly a good person,”

The best thing is Hanma isn’t really flat out lying to him. He’s just twisting the question to make Mikey think using capabilities he doesn't exactly have. It’s a smart tactic. But then, his pride kind of dissolves as he realises - Fuck, he’s being Tetta.

“Yeah but,” Mikey pauses for a moment, “I’m hearing he’s not who he’s saying he is.”

Oh. What? Hanma raises his brow, genuinely. This is new. They are catching on. “From who?”

“..people.”

Multiple people are catching on. Oh, Kisaki’s gonna fucking loose it when he hears it. Hanma’s almost excited to tell him. 

They drive in silence for a while. Hanma wonders if he has to dig the other male out of this hole, or if he can let it be. Then, hears Kisaki’s nagging tone-

“You wanna know what I was doing before I met Tetta?” Whatever the fuck he wanted.

“What?”

“I was homeless.” Hanma shrugs, Mikey’s watching him intently with those big, dark buttons for eyes. “Had nowhere to stay, nowhere to go - but that wasn’t the worst thing. I was hungry. Starving. Do you know how that feels?”

“I mean…” Mikey pauses. 

“It’s the worst feeling in this fucking world. My mouth itched, hands shaking, stomach open, gaping. It was worse than death, I’d say,”

“You’ve never died before.” Mikey mumbles.

“Yeah,” Hanma agrees, as they head into a golden-lit tunnel. “But you know what? I’d die for Tetta. That day - that day he picked me up from the streets, the first thing the bastard did was buy me a meal. A big, hot meal. Steamed rice, curry, eggs, soup.”

“What? So he brought you food, and now you owe him your life?”

“It’s not as simple as that, Mikey. But to put it shortly; yes.”

“So, because he saved you, he’s a good person?”

This kid is so fucking difficult. This is the most bullshitting Hanma’s ever had to do. “Is he a good person to you, Mikey?”

“Yes.” He says, shortly, with a surprising lack of substance. 

“Yeah?”

“I can’t explain it, but I think Kisaki is a good person. It pisses me off that people are doubting him.”

It’s almost pitiful, like - like a lamb to the slaughter. A part of Hanma wants to warn him, tell him to get-the-fuck-away but Mikey’s face is gentle beneath the tunnel lights, lips pursed, eyes wide, and he backs away because the innocence is too god damn beautiful on him. 

Hanma isn’t here to play the hero, anyway.

He speeds up, 50 mph over the limit and draws his window down as they leave the tunnel. There’s this beautiful view of the coast, with the rain crashing down on its land like bullets. Mikey hangs his head over the window, a breeze running through his hair. His eyes are shut, lashes gently gracing his skin. Hanma thinks he is sort of, kind of breath-taking.

When he tells Kisaki about it all, later that night, he doesn’t react like Hanma had expected him to. He doesn’t flip out, all twitchy-eyed, hands shaking like the anger is controlling him entirely. In fact he barely even reacts, hand resting lazily on this bridge that overlooks the highway. 

“I’m not surprised.” He mumbles, unmoving. “Draken’s been acting like he knows. He’s on watch.”

“But he doesn’t, right?” Hanma blows out a cloud of nicotine, voice straining, “That’s - fuckin’ impossible.”

“Yeah - it must be some kind of gut feeling.” Kisaki frowns. “I need to get on his good side.”

“Yeah? And how are you going to do that? The man’s made of stone - seems like nothin’ gets through him.”

“We need to use something, someone he loves as a pawn.”

“Like Mikey?” Hanma guesses, head tilted. 

“No but you’re on the right track,” Kisaki says, half-pondering with his finger brought to his lips.

Hanma fidgets with his scarf, “Who the fuck does he love more than Mikey?”

That’s the first mistake Kisaki had made. Believing that there was anyone in the world Draken loved more than Mikey. They didn’t understand back then - and maybe they never will. The love Draken had for Mikey wasn’t conditional - it didn’t change with the seasons, or with time passing. The love Draken had for Mikey was a continuous flow that had no beginning or end; just ran systematically, like the blood in his veins.

“The girl.” Kisaki says, clicking his fingers. “Emma, Emma Sano.”

That must've been the second mistake.

Chapter Text

Pah-chin listens to the low hum of the radio as splashes of colour from the streetlight glow against his face.

 

The car is going unbearably slow. This Hanma guy doesn't seem like a law abiding citizen, yet they're going below the speed limit on an empty road. If he was able to sit up properly and string a sentence, he would tell this joker to speed it up.

 

But he can’t. His eyelids are heavy, head drooping to the side almost lifelessly, squinting to stay awake. Everyone else is snoring loudly beside him so he's the one who has to give the directions to Baji's place when, and if, they eventually get off this fucking highroad.

 

He doesn't get it - maybe he's confused and somethings messing up his peripheral - but he swears they were driving a lot quicker than this in the beginning. And gradually, they got slower and slower...now it feels like they're hardly fucking moving.

 

"Planning on getting us there by the next week? Why are we going so slow!?" Kiskai grits, half-whispering, half-yelling and Pah-chin's eyes widens. He's never seen Kisaki annoyed, yet alone angry before.

 

So he's not going crazy, they really are driving that slow.

 

He catches the corner of Hanma's lips twitching into a smirk. "Calm down."

 

"I'm tired and I want to go home. Everyone does."

 

"I'm just lookin'." He says, cocking his head to his window.

 

"Looking at what, exactly?"

 

"It's nice out here." He whistles, gesturing his hands to where, if it was day, the coastline would be visible. "It's far away from most houses, and the water connects to the sea."

 

Pah-chin doesn't know why; but he feels shivers down his spine, goosebumps prickling on his skin despite the heat blowing directly in his face.

 

"All coastlines connect to the sea." Kisaki mumbles. 

 

"I'm just saying, no one comes to places like these especially in the winter."

 

There's a moment. Kisaki turns his body away from Hanma, cursing something neath his breath.

 

"So," Hanma hums. "What's the plan, Tetta?"

 

Pah-chin catches the way Kisaki's face morphs into horror from the side-mirror. Immediately, he throws his head back and Pah-chin has never shut his eyes tighter. 

 

"What the fuck are you talking about?!" Kisaki snaps.

 

"Huh? I was just askin-"

 

"Shut up."

 

And then Kiskai mouths something to Hanma. Pah-chin doesn't see it, and he obviously doesn't hear it, but what he does hear is the ushered whispers of Kisaki telling Hanma to look at him and his lips.

 

Hanma reverts to his normal speed and the rest of the car ride is dead silent. 

 

 “Do I look nice?”

Emma looks beautiful.

Draken opens his eyes just as she steps into the room. And - wow. She’s wearing this knitted pink dress that’s draped to her knees. Her face is painted in pinks and beiges and glitter and her hair is curled, styled to the perfect precision with a big white ribbon stuck on her ponytail. 

“You look beautiful.” Draken says, at a loss for better words. 

Emma’s brows raise, lips fall agape and then her mouth curls into a sugary smile. She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.

“I still don’t get why you’re going.” Mikey mumbles, emerging from his bed. He points an accusatory finger at her. “You don’t even know Chifuyu.”

“We’ve met!” She frowns, “One or two times…and anyway, Hina’s coming too and I haven’t seen her in like forever.” And then, she clutches onto Draken’s arm  - to which he almost jerks away because she hasn’t done that in so long - “I’ll be Draken’s plus one!”

“It’s a small get together, not a wedding.”

“It’s his birthday, the more the merrier.”

“We’re going bowling, Emma.”  He deadpans, tilting his head. “Whats all that fancy gear you got on? Trying to win back Draken?”

“Huh?!” She squeaks, face turning red. She lets go of his arm. “What the hell are you talking about?! And you can’t speak when you’re dressed like you’re homeless!”

“This is my style. It’s streetwear.” Mikey says, referring to his oversized black sweat shirt and matching sweat pants. He stands up, grabs at his coat sitting on the floor. “I can wear it cause I own a gang. It makes me look cool.”

“Makes you look like a bum.”

“Can we just go?” Draken frowns, cocking his head at the clock on Mikey’s wall. 8:20PM. “We’re already running late.”

“Oh, no, that thing is like - thirty minutes behind”.

“Oh my god.” Draken sighed, grabbing the shorter males arm and linking his arm with Emma’s. “We are so late.”

By the time they show up, the rest have already finished game one and are scoffing down greasy pizza and milkshakes.

“Happy birthday!” Mikey cheers as he steps in, immediately running over to where the food is.

“Happy birthday, Chifuyu.” Draken smiles at Chiufuyu as he slithers into a seat opposite Mikey.

“Thanks,” Chiufuyu said, raising his bottle of soju, “..even though you guys are an hour late.”

It’s Emma’s fault, she spent two hours hogging the bathroom!

Really? Well, it’s fine, we still have three rounds to play. You, Draken and Emma can be a team.

Ugh, seriously?! Emma doesn’t know how to bowl!

Don’t worry, Hina will teach her. She’s a natural!

 Draken really needs to talk to Mikey.

It’s been a week since their fight regarding Kisaki. And even though Mikey has been following him around in school, attending classes, he’s said less than ten words to Draken. And everytime Draken tries to talk to Mikey, he seems to just brush him off. So Draken eventually stopped trying.

This is what its like - when they get into fights. They’re both too stubborn to apologise so they go days, weeks without speaking to each other until enough time has passed.

But Draken can’t rely on the funny tricks of time now. Earlier today, before he had gone to the Sano household to pick up Mikey and Emma, Pah-chin told him something.

Something that proved that Draken was actually right.  Well, deep down, despite all the doubts, he knew he was right. His gut feelings were never wrong. But everyone else thought he was crazy. Now there's hard, solid proof - that Kisaki is up to something, that he has a plan, or is in the works of making one. One that Hanma knows about. 

Actually -  It wasn’t just something, what Pah-chin told him, it was everything. 

Mikey needed to know. Sure, they were in a fight - but Draken was still his right hand man and most importantly, his best friend. There was nothing he ever kept from him. And anyway, if Kisaki’s plan is regarding Toman, then he’d most start with targeting Toman’s leader.

They’ve tried to make sense of it; him, Pah-chin, and Baji(who already knew about it.) But they’re still not sure what Kisaki’s even after. Ownership of Toman? The number one spot? Or maybe - what if he wasn’t even after Toman? What if it was something else, something more private? More personal?

“Listen, Mikey,” He narrows his eyes at him. They’re sat at the end of the table - and everyone else seems to be distracted watching Chifuyu opening his presents, “We need to talk - I need to tell you something.”

“What, now?” Mikey mumbles through mouthfuls, throwing daggers at him. 

“As soon as possible.”

"I don't wanna talk right now." He says, as he necks a bottle of soju.

"Okay - not right now. But don't drink, tonight - listen, this thing I need to tell you...it's really important and you need to hear it sober."

"What, is it something with Emma again? Seems to be going good with her."

"No, not Emma - and things are..."

Things are weird. The distance between them has been growing larger and larger - and Draken was so sure they'd just drift away until there was nothing left between the two of them. But then today, she just...closed the gap. A simple arm-lock, a simple kiss on the cheek and suddenly shes all in love with Draken again.

"-thats not important." He says, grabbing for the bottle Mikey was reaching for, "That's enough."

Mikey pouts. "So I have to do whatever the hell you want - go to classes, do bullshit exams, but I can't drink?"

"Because I have to tell you something." Draken lets out a long sigh. 

"Tell me now, then. When I'm sober."

He takes a moment to scan his surrondings. Chifuyu's mom had rented this area of the bowling rink, so it was filled with all sorts of, and mostly, familiar faces. He spots the birthday boy, sandwiched between a fighting Baji and Kazutora. Emma and Hina practically ontop of eachother, squealing and giggling while Takemichi's on the phone. Pah-chin and Peh-yan. Some guys that seem to be Chifuyu's classmates or something.

He can't spot Kiskai anywhere.

"Is Kisaki coming?"

Mikey's nose scrunches. "Since when did you care about him?"

"I always cared about him - but not in the way you think. And the reason I'm asking is because it's about him."

"Of course it is." Mikey scoffs. "What did he do this time?"

"Mikey - 'm serious. He's up to something and I - where are you going?"

"Somewhere with fun people!" Mikey yells, throwing a middle finger at him.

Fuck. He would chase Mikey - but he doesn't want to cause a scene at Chifuyu's birthday. Damn it. How the hell is he suppose to keep this party drama free but also reach Mikey?

The answer is; he doesn't.

The actual party does end up being drama free - if you ignore Baji and Pah-chin's arm wrestling tournament mid-match - but Draken doesn't manage to talk to Mikey a single time. Somehow. Even though they're on the same fucking bowling team. 

It's nearing 11PM and they're waiting outside the bowling rink. Literally everyone else has gone home - he's pretty sure the staff are waiting for Mikey to get out the bathroom to close up, too.

"The party was great!" Emma cheers, turning to Draken, "It was great, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, it was," He smiles, "even though I'm pretty sure we were the actual winners. Y'know Baji was cheating?"

"How the hell do you cheat in bowling?" Emma raises a brow. "Also where the hell is Mikey?! I'm freezing, I wanna go home!"

"He's in the bathroom," Draken sighs. "I'll go get him, he's probably throwing up or something."

He begins walking, until he feels Emma grab his arm. 

"Draken, wait," She says, twirling a strand of blonde around her finger. "I need to tell you something."

Oh.

Oh.

It's happening.

Draken knew it was going to happen, eventually. But he didn't really imagine it like this, on a cold winter night in front of a tacky bowling alley.

It's been long due, though. So he nods, swallows deep and prepares himself for the words.

I'm breaking up with you.

But would Emma really say it like that? Or would she start it kinder -

It's not me. It's you.

Wait. That's not it.

It's not you. It's me -

"I'm pregnant."

Oh.

...That's not what Draken was expecting.

"What?" He says, calmly, at first, because he really does not register it.

Then - it hits him.

Oh.

Pregnant. Emma is pregnant. "What?!" He echoes - this time with voice raised, eyes wide. 

Her eyes are glassy when she looks up at him again, nose glowing pink. "Yes. I'm sorry, I didn't tell you sooner -"

"How long did you know? How long have you been pregnant?!" He peers down at her, at her body.

"Stop yelling! A while, okay?! I just got over whelmed and stressed and...I haven't told anyone."

"Not even Grandpa?"

"Obviously not Grandpa! He would kill me!"

"Is that why you were - you were sayin' all that stuff before? About...about my future?"

It all clicks, suddenly.

Emma was worried. Worried Draken wouldn't be able to support her. Support her their baby. 

She wants to have the baby.

"I'm sorry." Emma sobs, suddenly. Her face is buried in her hands. "I'm a horrible girlfriend." She hiccups. "I just - I didn't know what to do. What am I suppose to do?! I live with guys, I have no mom - no sister,  Hina's got her own shit -"

"Emma -" He tries, tries really fucking hard to say something profound, something that will make her stop crying, make everything okay. But his minds been crushed into mush, and theres too many things happening at the same time.

So, he just wraps his arms around her small, shaking body and hugs her.

"It's okay." He says. "I promise you, it will be okay."

Draken can't be a dad. 

Maybe down the line, in ten, twenty years - he'd love it. One girl, one boy, maybe a dog. A big house. Road trips to the coast, carnivals, birthday parties, halloween, the fucking tooth fairy. But...not now. No. Never now. 

"Will it?" Emma whispers, voice weak and strained. Her face is rested against his chest. "I have a horrible feeling it won't be okay. That something bad will happen."

He places his hands on her shoulder. "Look at me, Emma."

And she does. Looks up at him with her big soft honeyed eyes. 

"I love you, okay?" Draken says. And he...he believes it. Romantically or not, he has always loved Emma. He never stopped. "So we will be okay because I love you and - and I'll protect you, okay? Forever, from everything."

"You sound like Shin." She snorts. He watches as she laughs, breath escaping her lips, eyes twinkling under the streetlights.

"Shin would fucking kill me right now." He grins. "Come on, let's go home."

"Go get Mikey." She says. "Please don't tell him anything. Yet. I'm not ready."

"Of course. I don't want him killing me either." He says, and leans down to plant a kiss on her forehead. "Do you want a hot chocolate?"

She scoffs, "How romantic. The food court is closed anyway."

"I'll get you one," He announces, as he grips onto the door handle. "On our way home. Before we get home - I will get you a hot chocolate, with whipped cream and marshmallows. From Red Coffee cafe!"

She shrugs, hands shoved in her coat, smiles with her teeth. "Looking forward to it!"

Inside, he plants his head onto a table that smells like dish soap.

For the first time in the long time, he feels utterly lost.

"Whats wrong with you?"

Draken raises his head to the sound of Mikey's voice. And sure enough, he's stood there, hair a mess, water dripping from the corner of his lips.

"Did you throw up?"

Mikey shrugs, "Yeah."

"How sober are you?"

He shrugs again. "...Like 20%. I used my remaining soju was a mouthwash.

"This is bad." Draken blurts out, before he even realises it. He throws his head back. "Shit. This is so fucking bad."

"Not really. It was a half empty bottle. Half full, whatever."

"No...seriously. I'm so screwed, man."

"Is this the Kisaki thing? Alright, I'll sober up, just tell me."

Kisaki thing. Fuck - that feels so insignificant, so unimportant now. What the hell was Draken playing detective for? It's not like Kisaki could've done much, anyway. Like Draken had said before; the kid was just getting a taste of their life. He would've gotten bored, or better, scared straight, eventually -

"No...it's not - not the Kisaki thing." He rasps.

"What is it, then? Come on, just spit it out."

He shuts his eyes. Listens to the sound of a bike slamming against the road, zooming past. "I can't tell you."

"What do you mean you can't tell me?! Tell me, Ken-chin."

He gets up, rubbing his forehead. "I - I can't, okay? Let's just go home."

Mikey runs to the door and blocks it. "No. You're telling me. Right now. What, am I not your best friend anymore?!"

"What? You're the one whos been -" No. Draken can't do this. "Listen, let's just go outside."

Mikey looks up at him. "And then you'll tell me."

"Sure."

That seems to leave the shorter male satisfied. He yells a cheerful goodbye before swinging the door open. "Y'know, I didn't even reach the bowel - I threw on the fucking plant."

“Of course you did.” Draken snorted, slapping the back of Mikey's head. He feels a vibration in his phone and takes it out. It's from Pah-chin. U guys home yet?

"Ow!" Mikey hisses, "The fuck is wrong with y-"

His body falls back, knocking Draken's phone right out his hands.

"Fuck! Mikey!" He frowns, crouching down. "What is wrong with you-“

His heart stops.

Emma is on the floor.

Blood.

There's blood everywhere.

Chapter Text

Draken hates hospitals. He always has, since he was a kid. Maybe it’s cause all he ever knew was loudness; the colourful, fancy yet thin walls of the brothel, the seemingly never ending yelling and bickering in the Sano household.

It’s quiet in the emergency room. The beeping of machines, typing noises and frantic footsteps make their own mundane rhythm but other than that, he can hear his own heartbeat so vividly in his chest, his palms, pulsing throughout his entire body. It makes him uncomfortable, really uncomfortable - the silence, the blaring white lights. He feels like he might throw up.

“You okay?”

Takemichi rasps. His hair is a mess, eye bags sunk deep into his eyes, pajamas still on underneath his coat. Draken can see the outline of Hina’s quivering body behind him.

“Sit down.” He whispers, afraid to break the unsaid oath of silence. It scares him but he’s even more terrified to break some kind of order.

“Whats happened so far?” Takemichi asks, dragging a chair next to him. The screeching sound makes him cringe.

“I don’t know.” It’s been a good hour since they rolled her in - and doctors, nurses, people, have come in and out of her room, but no one’s told him anything, and he’s been too paralyzed with shock to ask when given the opportunity.

“Will Emma be…okay?” Hina squeaks, voice breaking at the mere mention of her name.

“I don’t know.” He breathed out, eyes squeezed shut.

“What about Mikey? Where is he?“

“Baji went to get him.”

“Is he okay?”

Draken doesn’t know. He doesn’t know anything. He feels so fucking useless. Mikey hadn’t said anything after Emma was rolled off in her hospital bed. He’d tried to follow her in, but he wasn’t allowed, and then he was just…gone.

“I messed up, man.” Draken mumbles, eyes boring into the floor. “I told her I would protect her. I’m supposed to protect her.”

“You didn’t mess up.” Takemichi says, soothing a hand down his back. “Emma will be alright. I know it.”

“She - she has to be.” Hina tries, wiping her nose with her sleeve, “We planned to go to the mall next week. There’s no way she’d miss that.”

Draken tries to smile. They’re trying. They’re really fucking trying. But - but since that moment he saw Emma’s unmoving body on the floor, a chunk of his soul has completely chipped away. He can’t get the image out of his head. When he closes his eyes, it’s behind his eyelids, burned permanently into his memory, detailed and clear.

He can’t. He can’t smile. How could he fucking smile when Emma - is there, right there, possibly dead? His girlfriend, his friend, the mother of his child.

So, instead he just nods, slowly.

“I’ll get us something from the vending machine.” Takemichi announces, stumbling away, obviously still half asleep.

The sounds of Hina’s sniffles and muffled cries bounce on the walls. Draken shuts his eyes again - and suddenly, he’s back to the cold winter air gnawing at his skin as he and Mikey propping Emma’s bleeding body onto his back. His heavy, uneven breathing - the fear in his eyes.

“Draken.”

His eyes snap open. Hina’s glassy eyes are staring into his.

“I - I need to tell you something. Emma, she - she was…”

“I know.”

Hina sits up, gnawing on her bottom lip nervously. “No, I don’t think you do. Emma was, is -“

Pregnant. Draken doesn’t want to be reminded. He looks at her. “I know, Hina.”

Her brows raise and her lips fall agape, “She told you?”

Draken nods.

“Oh.”

There’s a moment of silence which makes Draken realise he can’t sit in the silence anymore. It’s making him even more nervous. 

“I didn’t know she told you as well.” He croaks.

“She didn’t.” Hina wraps her cardigan around her body tighter. “But…I just knew. Sometimes, I think, maybe, I know her more than I know myself. I was waiting for her to be ready to tell me herself. I practiced my reaction in the mirror a hundred times - I would squeal, my eyes would go all wide, I would squeeze her so tightly…”

Strangely, that makes Draken smile. A little, the most he has tonight. The image is so distinct, definite in his mind; balloons and confetti dancing in the room, Mikey throwing him this glare, Hina and Emma squealing and crying, Takemichi patting him on the back, Baji giving him a fair play -  it’s so fucking close, that Draken feels like he can physically reach for it. 

“…but now I don’t even know if I’ll be able to even do that.” Hina’s voice cracks and she breaks into another sob. The image shatters, like that, and Draken watches shards of the moment fly away right in front of his eyes.

Futilely and maybe stupidly, he tries to reach it, but it’s too far to grasp. His palms are clunched yet empty.

In the near distance, Baji’s approaching them with no Mikey beside him like he’d promised earlier.

“Any news?” His hands are shoved in his pockets, eyes drifting from Draken to Hina desperately.

“No. Nothing.” Draken shakes his head, rubbing his eyes, unsure if what he just saw was real or not. “Where’s Mikey?”

“He’s outside.” Baji cocks his head to his right. “I tried to get him to come inside but he refused to. I gave him my jacket so he won’t freeze. Just sitting on the concrete.”

“I’ll talk to him.” Draken says, standing up. It’s not even a decision - it’s just instinctual. 

“You sure? What if there's an - an  update?” Baji says, and he seems almost scared of the idea.

He shrugs his jacket on. “Call me. I can’t stand being in this place anymore.”

The hallways are long and feel endless - every corner he turns it looks the same and he can’t tell if he’s losing it or not. Eventually, though, he finds the large glass doors they had rushed into a few hours ago.

Just as he reaches the door handle, it flings open. Kisaki stands there in front of him.

“Draken,” His eyes widen, and he places a hand on his shoulder, “How is she?”

“Get the fuck off me!” Draken barks, brows furrowed as this unexplainable anger bursts inside him. It was the moment he saw Kisaki’s fuckin face. All it took was his stupid, pathetic face, for all the ache and hurt to fizz away, replaced with uncontrollable, overbearing anger. Everything - the built up irritation, paranoia, just come out, right then and there. “Why are you here?!” He grips onto the collar of his shirt. “Who the fuck told you to come here?”

He hears people approachin, arms grabbing onto him but he just grips onto Kisaki’s shirt tighter and tighter and all he sees is red - violent and bloody, red. He doesn’t know why and what's making him see it. But he does.

“It’s okay -.” Kisaki says, to someone behind him. He sounds so calm and collected. His eyes switch to Draken.  “I - I heard what happened. Came here for support.” And then he lifts the bag he’s holding, and it’s hot and Draken doesn’t know if its cause he hasn’t eaten in hours, but his mouth waters merely at the smell.

“We don’t need your fucking charity.” He grumbles, throwing his body to the side. 

He can’t do this. Kiskai doesn’t deserve it, Draken realises as he looks back, only once, to see Kisaki talking to a security guard, scratching his neck, half a smile on his face. He’s shaking. His body is small, slightly hunched - and he’s shaking. 

He’s just a kid. Draken needs to stop being so hard on him. Emma would hate seeing him like this. 

It doesn’t take long to find Mikey. He’s sat closely to the front door, on the concrete, hugging his knees, just as Baji said he was. He doesn’t move when Draken sits beside him, so close that he can hear his breathing. He doesn’t even move when Draken tucks away a strand of hair stuck on his cheek even though he hates it when people touch his face. 

They don’t say anything for a while. Theres too much to say and Draken doesn’t know how, where to even start.

Mikey starts crying.

At first, Draken does not notice it. He’s so fixated inside his own mind, eyes burning into the endless dark skies. Then, he feels it - the tremble in Mikey’s shoulder, the way his whole body convulses, head drooped down, hair shielding his face. 

Even then, Draken almost doesn’t believe it. Some hazed out, hasn’t-slept-since-yesterday part of him even considers that Mikey’s laughing. 

Of course Mikey isn’t fucking laughing. The fuck is he thinking? His sisters in the hospital.

Draken doesn’t know why it takes so long for it to hit him. Maybe - maybe it’s because a small part of Draken, despite the fact he prides himself on being Mikey’s best friend, sees Mikey the way everyone else sees him. Strong, powerful - this unbreakable shell. He hasn’t seen him cry in so long - it’s been years, probably since Shin died - that he forgot that Mikey could.

But there he is, crying; sobbing, sniffing, and it aches Draken’s whole body in a way he can’t describe, immediately leaving him with this desperate instinctual feeling to just scoop him in his arms, hold him close, make everything go away.

Draken doesn’t hold him. He is afraid. Currently, Mikey is fragile like glass, and he’s afraid of doing something to make it worse. Being the final blow to shatter him completely. Maybe he’ll grab Mikey too tight, maybe he’ll suffocate and die. Maybe he’ll whisper the wrong things.

Like he always has, he’ll wait for Mikey to call for him first. It’s safer that way.

“I’m scared.” He whispers, voice strained, in between sobs. “Ken-chin, I’m scared to be alone.”

Oh. That does something to Draken. ”You-“ There’s something stuck in his throat. He takes a deep breath and looks up again at the depressing, starless sky.

“You’re not alone.”

Mikey lifts his head, tucks a strand of blonde behind his ear and looks at him with red, puffy eyes. “I know. That’s why I’m scared.” He sniffles, wiping his nose with his sleeve. There’s still traces of bruising where Draken had punched him. 

“No. I mean-“ His breath hitches as he stares into Mikey’s eyes. “Don’t be scared. Ever, okay? Cause you’ll never be alone. As long as I’m alive.”

“And what about if you die on me?” Mikey says, in a smaller voice.

“I won’t.” Draken replies hastily.

Mikey scoffs, “What, so you’re immortal?” 

Draken smiles, genuinely, thinks for a moment how nice that would be. “I won’t die unless you allow me to.”

“Death’s never given me control before.” Mikey kicks at the ground. He doesn’t talk for a while. Draken watches an aeroplane pass the sky - the beeping light, from their distance, kind of looks like a star,

He feels the weight of Mikey’s head land on his shoulder. It’s the most comforting feeling in the world,

“Ken-chin, I know you’re only saying this to make me stop crying.” He starts, again, voice a little clearer. “But I want to believe you.”

“You should believe in me.” Draken hums. “And I’m not saying it just to make you stop crying. You can cry as much as you want.” He says, still feeling guilty.

“I’m - I’m not weak.”

“You’re not.” Draken agrees, thinks about all the times Mikey’s saved him, been his own personal hero. How could he ever be weak? Human, yes. But never weak.

“I’m worried about Emma.”

Once again, the bleak reality hits him and Draken remembers that everything is crumbling around them. For a second, a split second, him and Mikey weren’t outside the Emergency Room. They were in the midst of long, uncut grass, swaying left and right, fresh spring breeze blowing through their hair.

“Is she going to be okay?”

Why does everyone keep on asking Draken things he doesn’t know?

“Yes.”

“How are you so sure?”

“I have to be. I mean, Emma is -“

He pauses. His next words have to be chosen very carefully. 

“My girlfriend.” It falls flat. Draken winces to himself as he hears it leave his tongue. “I mean - she’s my everything. I love her so much.”

“Yeah.” Mikey hums, “So, everything did work out, huh?” He nudges Draken, softly.

“Huh?

“With you, and Emma. You were all worried that she was going to break up with you.”

“Oh right.” Draken nods, hoping Mikey doesn’t notice the way Draken’s dancing around the truth. Well, it’d sure as hell be hard to notice when he doesn’t even know he was being lied to. Then again, is it lying? Draken isn’t really lying, it’s more of a forgot-to-mention kind of thing.

Fuck. Who the hell is he trying to convince? He knows it's wrong. Mikey’s his best friend. There’s nothing in this world Draken hasn’ t told him. Nothing that Mikey hasn’t told him. It’s this unspoken rule, between the two of them. 

But it’s Emma. And he had looked into her eyes and promised to her face. And - and he wants her to have the chance to say it herself,  when she’s all healed up, in front of all their friends and family. He can’t take that away from her.

What if she never heals up and Mikey learns that not only did his baby sister die, but also his niece, his nephew, from a stone-cold, calloused Doctor.

Draken hates that the possibility even lies in his mind. He’s afraid it will, somehow, magically manifest into the truth.

“I mean, I wasn’t scared. She’s just - really important to me, yknow? Because -“

“-you’ve been in love with her since we were kids?” Mikey says, grinning.

He muses a grin, “Shut up.”

“It is true though, isn’t it? Don’t worry, she was just as in love with you! Love at first sight.”

“She said that?”

“Mmh, of course she did - twirling her hair and stuff. She came into my room, at like midnight, blabbering on about you. She never told you that?”

“No,” He shakes his head. “Never.”

“Oh.” Mikey smiles, small, barely. “I can’t lose her.”

“I know. You won’t. We won’t.”

Mikey lets out a sigh. It’s small, almost content, reassured. 

From the corner of Draken’s eye, he sees Baji’s figure standing at the doors, hesitating to open it. He’s looking at them and -

There’s a frown, deep, remorseful, etched onto his face.

      “You’re so fucking paranoid” 

Kisaki is crouched down, hands poking at the tire. He runs his hand against the inner curve. No nails. No holes. “You’re lucky I’m taking precautions. Someone could have sabotaged this.” He mumbles, wiping a thin layer of soot on his hands off with a tissue.

“Yeah, like that 30-something junkie knows the likes of Emma Sano and our plan to murder her.” Hanma drawls, balancing a cigarette between his lips. 

“Injure.” Kisaki corrects. “We’re only injuring her. A minor injury is the goal, you hear me?” He narrows his gaze at the taller male.

“Why the fuck is my weapon this, then? This can take someone out.” He says, spinning the bat around. “Give me a pocket knife, I’ll just stab her in the arm.”

“I’m not risking you hitting a major artery.”

Hanma looks at him like he’s just speaking another language. “A major wha—if you know so much, then why am I getting the job done?” 

Kisaki quirks a brow at him. “I gave you this job because I thought you’d enjoy it.”

Also because if they got caught, Hanma has a lot less to leave behind. Kisaki doesn’t mention that.

“I mean, if it was like - Takemichi or somethin’.” He raises the bat, hastily swings into the air, “I’m not a fan of violence against women, though. Quite the feminist, I am.”

Kisaki scoffs, almost laughs, because he knows Hanma couldn’t spell feminist if there was a gun to his head. “How heroic.”

“I try.” Hanma shrugs, flashing a gold tooth. He hops into the bike. “You check the engine, too?”

“Yes. I checked everything before you got it. Gave it a test drive. Everything is running smoothly. All you need to do is your part.”

“Got it, chief. Anything else I need to know?”

“Aim for her lower body. Nowhere above the neck. Don’t drop the bat. It can be used as evidence. Don’t stop driving. Remember to dispose of the bike, helmet and bat properly. Burn your mask, gloves and clothes. Call me afterwards.”

Hanma slides on the helmet and throws a thumbs up. “You're gonna be behind me, or what?”  

“I’ll wait for the tension and panic to rise. When the stakes are high, I’ll drive in, offer a ride to the hospital.

“Holy shit,” Hanma smirks - Kiskai can’t see it but he just knows he’s smirking. “You’re so fucking sadistic.” He crushes the cigarette beneath his foot. 

The engine is loud. Really loud. Fuck. That concerns Kisaki. They’re not too far away - the road curves, and half a mile away sits the bowling alley. Kisaki lifts his binoculars and he tries to make sense of what he’s seeing.

He squints. “Emma’s alone now. Go.”

“Did you say go?”

“Yes, go! Now!” 

“Okay! See you on the other side!” Hanma salutes. 

All the hairs stand up on Kisaki’s body as the bike zooms past him. Hurriedly, he scrambles into his car, reverses slightly, sticks his head out the window and pulls out his binoculars again.

Emma is practically stood on the road, phone light flashing on her face, typing away with her right hand. There’s a smile on her face. Her other hand is rested on her stomach. 

Both of Hanma’s hands are gripped onto the bat as he nears closer to her.  “Don’t fall.” He whispers, “Shuji, please don’t fall -“

There. It’s happening. Hanma’s arms are raised back, the bat held high. Emma looks up, eyes widened, lips agape like she’s ready to scream -

She collapses the moment the bat swings against her skull. Her fucking skull.

“No. No -“ 

Kisaki’s left at a loss of words. Hanma spins around, and even with the helmet on, he feels them lock eyes, feels the distraught on the other males face. And - and good. He should be distraught. Because they are - they’re…

…they’re fucked.

Like Kisaki had told him to, Hanma doesn’t let go of the bat. He continues zooming through the road and disappears into a tunnel.

There’s a pool of blood surronding Emma’s body.

They’re so fucked.

Kisaki turns the car around and drives off in the opposite direction, immediately scrambling with his phone to call Hanma. He answers immediately when he feels the vibration.

“Did you see that?!”

“Yes, obviously, I fucking saw that, that’s why I called you!”

“Holy shit, I think she’s dead. I didn’t realise how difficult it would be to aim -“

“It doesn’t matter. Continue driving. Don’t stop. Don’t make your voice known. Don’t yell. Stick to the plan.”

“Are you going?”

Kisaki glances at his rearview mirror. “No. I’m not. This is too serious for me to intervene.”

“That’s suspicious, though. Draken’s already onto you.”

Kisaki hates how Hanma’s right. If he’s nowhere to be seen, with no alibi, then he could possibly even be a suspect. 

“I’ll meet him. In the hospital. Say - say someone told me about the news or something. Yeah?”

“I don’t know, you’re the genius around here.”

Kisaki grits his teeth. He wants a bat through Hanma’s skull. “This is your fault. We’re fucked because of you.”

“She’s short as hell, do you know how low her legs are?”

“Her torso, then! Why the fuck would you resort to her head?!”

“It was impulse. Listen, it’s so much different when you’re actually in the moment. It was the closest thing to me.”

”Shit!” Kisaki barks, looks around for something to punch. 

“Tetta, it’s fine, man, they’ll probably call an ambulance and get her to the hospital quick.-“

Kisaki grabs his phone and throws it out the window in a rage. He shuts his eyes, afraid to see whats ahead. 

Chapter Text

“She’s alive.”

It should be good news. But the way Baji says it, with this pained, sorrowful expression on his face, Mikey quickly realises that's the only silver lining.

Still, and he doesn’t know why, he looks at the taller male expectedly. “And?”

“She’s alive.” Baji repeats, runs a hand through his long black hair. “But she’s not awake.” He stills, in a search for better words. Mikey feels like he’s being waterboarded.

“And?” He pleads, even though he has an idea on what Baji means. It must be painful for the other male but for Mikey, its pure torture.

He doesn’t say anything else, just drops his head low in front of the two of them. The soothing hand on Mikey’s back stops drawing circles.

Emma is hooked up on all these machines and wires and an oxygen mask to help her breathe. She doesn’t even look like Emma anymore. Her skin is sickly pale, slightly blue and her hands are cold and it feels like she’s already dead.

The room smells like chemicals and soaps and something bitter, something vague, in the near distance. Mikey clutches at his stomach and he thinks he might be sick again. The sounds of Hina’s sobs make his ears ring. Draken is shaking beside him. He leaves the room almost immediately with wide eyes. This nurse with curly brown hair follows him out, asking him if there’s any family he can call to sign forms and whatever. Any parents, any older siblings.

He thinks of Grandpa, thinks of him sitting on the couch, waiting for the two of them to come home, ready to scold Mikey for letting his baby sister stay out so late into the night. He thinks of the way his breath would hitch getting the news, the way his frail body would shake.

“There’s no one.” Mikey whispers.

She leans into him like he was telling her a secret. “Sorry, what was that?”

From the corner of his eye, he can see Draken trying to catch her attention.

He takes a small breath, sinks down onto a seat. “I have no one.”

The realization hits him the moment he says it.

For as long as he can remember, Mikey’s had this - this gut feeling that some day, everyone he’s ever loved and known will leave him in one way or another and he will be all alone. It’s like an impending doom, a guarantee, something unavoidable. And it’s finally happening. First his parents, then Shinichiro and now, Emma. Not much sooner, it’ll be Grandpa. Shinichiro was brave, gentle - Emma kind and caring, and Mikey…he’s the worst of his grandkids. The old man probably won’ t survive much longer without them two. It’s happening. It’s happening.

He feels his breaths get heavier, the sweat crawling down his back. He is scared. Everything comes to him right there, the realisation, the emptiness in Draken’s words back there, I won’t die until you allow me to. Death doesn’t care for him. Death won’t halt at Mikey’s feet. Mikey never wanted his mom to die, his dad, Shinichiro, Emma.. Why the fuck would he even let himself live in that delusion, even for a moment? It wasn’t real, it never will be and oh Mikey’s scared, he is so so scared. He wants his mom, he wants his dad. He wants to be small and wants someone to scoop him up in their arms and soothe him to sleep.

He wants his sister. His baby sister. Fuck - he promised. Promised his mom, his dad, grandpa, Shinichiro, Emma herself that he would protect her no matter what. He had promised himself. How the fuck could he let someone do this to her?

…How the fuck could someone do this to her?

“Here.”

There’s a spoonful of noodles shoved to his face. It’s bright red and sticky and smells sickeningly sweet.

“‘m not hungry.”

Kisaki sighs softly. His brows are knitted with concern. It feels unlike him. “You’ve been waiting for hours, you need to eat.”

“I’m just going to throw it up.” He wraps his arms around himself, itching for this sense of comfort he knows he’ll never, ever feel again.

One he doesn’t fucking dare to ask for.

Kisaki’s gaze softens. “Come here,” his voice is gentle, unusually. Mikey looks at him for the first time. His hair is dishevelled, glasses sliding down his nose, this restless look in his eyes. That brings Mikey some ease. Even perfect, oh-so perfect Kisaki’s been roughened up. Maybe that’s why he eagerly, like he’s starving for it, leans into his touch.

It’s been a long time since Mikey hugged someone. Emma would try to hug him for the smallest things - like when he got her flour from the store or those weird moments she was in too much of a cheery good mood over something unimportant. Sometimes, he’d tell Takemichi something and the other males big blue eyes would well with tears and he’d reach out to him. Mikey never understood that. If you hugged over every small convenience, then it would take the power away from a hug. To him, a hug was never just a hug. It was something special he couldn’t do just because.

Shinichiro’s hugs were always the best. His arms were sculpted but not rock hard from his inconsistent gym trips. He would always wear this cologne. It was cheap but so strong that it’d linger around the house days after he sprayed it. It smelled of musk and vanilla. He wouldn’t ever hug him for some bullshit reason, either. When he would hug Mikey, it wasn’t ever just a hug. It was Shinichiro, despite being weak as hell, protecting Mikey, make sure nothing in this world could hurt him. And maybe it was better because he was weak. Because that meant he had used all the strength he had, that meant he had loved Mikey. And obviously Mikey knows Shinichiro loved Mikey. Of course he did, he was his brother. But so much time has gone by now, so it’s easy to forget.

Kisaki’s arms are skinny, and they tremble but they wrap around Mikey so tightly, as if he’ll never let go. He smells like sandalwood and sweat with the faint, and something sweet and if Mikey shuts his eyes, buries his face into his shirt, it’s like he’s hugging Shinichiro.

“It’s okay. You’re okay.” Kisaki says, firmly. Mikey collapses into his arms.

“I don’t know…how much longer I can go on.” He confesses, because for a moment they don’t speak, and it feels like he’s with Shinchiro, and he can say anything.

“What?”

He feels Kisaki’s arms still, the pressure disappears. He’s not holding anymore.

Mikey shakes his head, slowly. “‘m so tired.”

Kisaki pulls away from the hug, eyes now narrowed at him. “Why did you just say that?”

He blinks at him, feeling slightly dazed and pained from the loss of contact. “I - I don’t know. I don’t remember...what did I even say?”

“Don’t say that.” Kisaki tells him, face suddenly gone stern, “ever.”

“Okay.” Mikey swallows. “I’m sorry-“

“I care about you.” He says, grabbing at his hand, “Mikey, you know that, right? I - I care about you so much. Please, stay with me. No matter what you do.”

“Stay with you where?” Mikey rasps. He doesn’t know if it's the unbearable aching inside of him, or the lack of food, or the blaring light but he feels so utterly lost, unable to understand what Kisaki’s talking about.

Kisaki looks into his eyes. It feels like he doesn’t even hear what Mikey’s saying. “I want the best for you. You’re so important to me. If you disappeared -“ He squeezed his hand, “promise me you won’t.”

“O - okay,” He breathes out, even though he’s not even sure what he’s agreeing to. “I promise.”

“Okay.” Kisaki hums. He muses a small smile. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” He picks up the cup of noodles again, stirs it absently with his spoon before bringing it up to Mikey’s mouth.

And despite the nausea swirling in his stomach, he opens his lips. It tastes spicy, not a tinge of that sweetness he smelled.

The rest of the night moves quickly after that. Draken had informed Grandpa of the situation, and the older male arrived not so later, still in his pajamas. And he had hugged Draken, tried to hug Mikey, began signing the copious amounts of paperwork with trembling hands, Then, they got a call from the police - they needed to ask questions regarding Emma, standard procedure they called it.

They get a taxi to the station. Outside, it’s so cold that clouds of frost escape with every breath. And inside, in the car, it's unbearably heavy. The silence is deafening, and Draken’s got this look in his eyes - like all the hope’s been stripped away. Something twists in Mikey’s gut. He watches dusk creeping over the skylight as they ride through the empty road.

The questioning is a blur. They offer him straight, black coffee, which he despises. Mikey sips on it as he tries to answer every question to the best of his ability. But it really was one second Emma was standing waiting and the next she was on the floor, bleeding out. Mikey was too drunk to remember any signs or clues beforehand and Draken’s mind seemed to have already been preoccupied with something else.

Foul play was obviously involved. Though, it’s difficult to know where to start. There was no security cameras on that sketchy fucking road and literally no evidence has been left behind except for the fact the perpetrator was most likely on a motorcycle Draken had heard zooming past moments prior.

It is being taken seriously, though, which is good. A report plays on the radio on their way home and when Draken asks their driver to change the broadcast, it plays again. Breaking News, Stay tuned for more information. The entirety of the road is closed off, too. They’re gonna find out who did this. And when they do, Mikey’s going to fucking kill them with his bare hands.

They go to Draken’s place because Mikey can’t stand being in that big, quiet house and it feels like neither of them can be alone, anyway.

The first thing they do is take a shower.

Mikey lays on the cold, hard tiles and shuts his eyes as Draken’s hands soothe over his scalp. The water is scorching; piping hot, feels like acid on his skin. He scrubs at where Emma’s blood is drenched on his shirt. He watches it wash down the drain, feels the guilt drowning him slowly. They’re taking a warm shower while Emma’s sitting in that cold hospital room in clothes she’d call hideous, in a face that isn’t really her, all alone.

He wonders what she’s thinking of, right now. If she even can. The doctors had said it was like a half return, her physical body, her internal organs were working as they should but they weren’t receiving any signals from her brain. Fuck. She must’ve been so scared. Mikey had tried to comfort her as they waited for the ambulance, but her eyes were staring somewhere right past him, all teary-eyed. And when she had opened her lips, tried to say something but it came out all slurred.

The bed dips as Draken climbs in. He rests his head against the headboard and doesn’t say anything. Why isn’t he saying anything? Mikey feels like he should - something like she’ll be okay, like he had said before. Something to ease Mikey’s mind. The silence draws on for a while, and he feels himself getting lost in his own, fucked up predictions of the future

“Are you okay?” Mikey asks, and he knows it’s a stupid fucking question. Obviously he isn’t okay. But part of him, selfishly, hopes Draken to nod, look up at him with confidence and tell him what he wants to hear.

Even though Mikey’s the strongest, Draken was always stronger emotionally. He never wore his heart on his sleeve like Mikey did, never really lashed out. Everytime he felt something, it felt logical and correct; like he had every right to feel that way. Sometimes, it felt like he was keeping it together for the both of them.

So, when Draken shakes his head slowly, like his skull is too heavy to bear, that scares Mikey, a lot. If Draken couldn’t take it, how the fuck was he supposed to?

His voice is wavering as he speaks, head buried into his palms. “How can I be?”

Goosebumps prickle on his bare arms. No, no this isn’t right. “But - but you will be, right?” He tugs at his sleeve, helplessly. “Ken-chin, please-”

“I…I don’t know.” Draken gulps, pulling away from his touch. “Emma, the baby, I want them to be okay so badly but I don’t fucking know.” He takes a shaky breath.

Mikey feels a chill run down his spine. “Baby?” He echoes, small, hoping he’s heard it wrong. Maybe he could have given Draken the benefit of the doubt, if he didn’t react like he did - head snapped up, like a deer caught in headlights.

“What?” He says, as if he didn’t even realise it had left his lips.

“You - you said baby. What baby? What do you mean baby-”

Draken’s brows furrow, lips pursed. “I didn’t say baby, Mikey. You’re -”

“I heard you.” He frowns, grabbing at his shirt this time, “Answer me, Ken-chin. What are you talking about?”

“Baby -” Draken mutters, neath his breath. “Baby…the baby -”

“The fuck are you saying?!” Mikey barks, bringing his face close. He feels Draken’s short, panicked breath on his skin. They’re nose-to-nose. For a minute. Draken doesn’t say anything and Mikey presses his head closer to him, like he’ll suddenly be able to read his mind with the proximity. Mikey grips onto his shirt even harder; to the point he think it may tear. “Fucking tell me! Hello?!”

Draken eyes switch down to him. “...You wanna know, huh?! Emma -” His voice breaks mid yell, head dropping low in defeat, “...she’s pregnant.”

Mikey’s grip weakens. For the second time today, his heart completely drops to the bottom of his stomach. “No.”

“You wanted to know so bad, didn’t you?” Draken mumbles as he moves to the edge of the bed. He runs a hand through his damp hair, taking a shaky breath. “If she’s like this, how is the baby going to survive? I was hoping she would get an abortion - but I don’t want it to happen like this.”

“How -” Mikey feels the anger bubbling inside of him. “How could you not fucking tell me this?!”

Draken’s head snaps back, flame erupting in his glare. “I found out a few hours before you did!”

“That doesn't mean you can just keep it to yourself -”

“What was I meant to do, Mikey?! She’s my girlfriend, she told me she didn’t want anyone knowing yet-”

“Your girlfriend?” Mikey scoffs. He slams his fist to his chest, “That’s my fucking sister!” Hurt flashes in his eyes - "and I’m your best friend."

“You’re not the only person suffering, why can’t you understand that?!”

Mikey brings his knees to his chest. He can’t stand this; the way the anger is burning on his skin, the way that when he looks at Draken, he doesn’t see his best friend, the way he kind of wants to strangle him. He shakes his head like a broken record, “Emma is all I have left. You can get a new girlfriend, I can’t get a new sister. Maybe everyone’s suffering as well, but - I am suffering the most. I don’t care if it’s selfish, but I am.”

“How could you -” Draken pauses for a minute, Mikey feels his eyes burning to the back of skull. They’re sat on the opposite sides of the bed, but it feels like they’re universes away. “...how could you say that?”

He doesn’t even sound angry, just in disbelief.

“Because it’s true.” Mikey whispers.

“No it’s not - you’re, you’re not alone. You have me. I keep on saying it. You’re not alone, Mikey. You have me. And you’ll always have me.”

“Yeah? Even now?” He scoffs. There’s a pause. “Yeah, exactly.”

Draken sighs. “Yes, dammit, can you give me time to answer?” The mattress springs up when Draken stands up. Mikey’s eyes are drawn to the floor. He listens to his footsteps coming closer.

“Look at me.”

He doesn’t. He can’t. The guilt has swallowed him whole, now.

The floorboards creak as Draken kneels down, before him, and Mikey finds himself directly looking into his warm eyes.

“Listen, okay? Listen well.” He palms Mikey’s shaky hand and squeezes it tight. “Even if - if the whole world turns on you, I’ll be standing right beside you. Fuck, if the everything was burning, I’d stand beside you and watch it burn.” He narrows his eyes at Mikey, stares at him so intensely that it feels like Mikey will be consumed whole if he sits there, too still, for too long. “Because I love you. And even though - you really pissed me off, back there, with what you said, I still love you. Nothing will ever make me stop loving you…okay?”

Mikey’s pupils double in size. For a minute, he forgets how to speak. “...Okay.” His heartbeat is really loud. He wonders if Draken can feel it in his palm.

“Okay?” Draken’s lips spread into a smile. Mikey feels everything dissolve away. He wraps his arms around the taller male, and fuck, he knows Draken can definitely feel his heartbeat now - but he doesn’t even care.

“I’m sorry.” He croaks as he’s enveloped by warmth. “I’m a piece of shit.”

“You are. But I love you.”

And now. Mikey thinks he understands what Kisaki was saying, back there. All those demands about Mikey staying, never leaving him, because he feels that way about Draken. He wants to sink his claws into him, and make sure he never, ever, ever goes away.

“Ken-chin, I -”

“Shut up.” Draken says, quickly. His hand is creeping up to his face. “Don’t talk.” He traces his thumb on his bottom lip.

And then, breathless and gentle, he kisses him.

Chapter Text

The worst part is that Draken doesn’t think of Emma once.

He cups the right side of Mikey’s tear-stained cheek and kisses him like he’s done it before.

When he opens his eyes, peers down into his charcoal eyes, he doesn’t pretend he’s looking into Emma. He doesn’t even need to.

He kisses Mikey because he’s Mikey. 

Draken doesn’t know what it means. They go to bed, after everything, without saying a single word. He wakes up a few hours later with his arms wrapped around Mikey’s body. There’s sunlight pouring onto his bare torso.

He’s woken up like this so many times, with Mikey pressed to his chest, breathing softly. But today, it comes with this gut-eating, gnawing feeling on the bottom of his stomach. 

He peels the smaller male's body off him and sits at the edge of his bed. The air is sharp and cold, and he’s near naked. There's goosebumps prickled on the back of his arm. He’s soaked in his own sweat, breathing through his lips. 

But it’s not because he’s cold. In fact, he barely registers it.

He takes a glance through the dusty cracks of his window, where the whole world can see them. It’s the early cracks of dawn, there’s a few kids making their way to school. Pah-chin is standing outside.

Draken blinks, narrowing his gaze as he makes sense of what he’s seeing. Pah-chin is standing outside.

“Man, do you know how weird it looks for me standing outside a brothel at 6 in the morning?” 

“Sorry, just woke up,” Draken replies, voice groggy as he holds the door for the other male. 

Pah-chin takes a step in, almost wearily. His brow is quirked. “Is it okay for me to be here?”

“Yeah, I guess, just don’t be too loud.”

“Got it.” He hums, then takes a glance at Draken’s state. “Aren’t you going to school?”

Draken shuffles with the keys for a moment, before turning around. Pah-chin’s shirt is untucked, tie undone and wrapped around his collar like a necklace. “Aren’t you?”

He shrugs, tugging on his bag strap, “I wanted to see you first,”

“Why?” Draken mutters out, still in a trance of sleep. He doesn’t mean to sound like a dick, but he’s barely gotten to process…anything. “Did something happen?”

“No -” Pah-chin takes a breath, “No, I mean, it’s about Emma.”

Oh. Draken feels his mood getting worse in real time. He blinks at him slowly. “Yeah? What is it?”

“I -” He pauses for a moment, looking around. There’s no one reason for the girls to be awake at 6 in the morning. It’s empty around, just the two of them.

He quirks his brow at him. “What is it?”

“Can we go to your room or something?”

Mikey. He’s still in Draken’s bed sleeping, naked. The image flashes through Draken’s mind the moment he hears the words leave Pah-chin’s lips. “Mikey’s here.” He blurts out, scratching at his neck. “I don’t wanna wake up.”

His eyes widen. “Oh, fuck, really? How is he?”

“I - he’s…” What Draken wants to say is he’s heartbroken. Obviously. Though it feels like neither of them have the right to say that anymore. “You know…”

“Ah fuck,” There’s a moment, “Okay, listen, you gotta hear me out but -” Pah-chin lets out a sigh, “please don’t tell him what I’m about to tell you. He’ll lose it.“

Draken shuts his eyes, nodding. “Alright, I won’t. What is it?”

Pah-chin takes another deep breath. “Okay, I - I’m like 99% Kisaki is behind all this.” 

His eyes rip open. “What?”

Pah-chin throws his hands up. “Let me finish. Hear me out, okay?” He pauses for a moment, giving Draken this weary look. Draken’s looking back at him like he’s crazy. 

“Listen,” he leans against the couch and rests his hand on a cigarette hole burnt into the flesh, “Kisaki showed up at the hospital yesterday, right?”

Draken nods, slowly, trying to catch where he’s going with this. “..right.”

“But who told him we were there?! How the fuck does he even know Emma got injured?”

“There were so many there that could’ve told him. From the top of my head - Takemichi, Matsuno, Keisuke, Haruchiy-“

Pah-chin scoffs at him. “Yeah, alright, I’m Haruchiyo, and I just found out my childhood friends in the hospital, let me just text this random fucker I’ve talked to like once in my life and tell him to come here -“

“Takemichi probably told him, y’know how close they are? Wouldn’t have been the first time he’s brought Kisaki somewhere without asking us.”

“Like when?”

“When we were sparring at the gym-“

“Bullshit!” He throws an accusatory finger at him

Draken grits, “Shut up, people are sleeping -“ 

He doesn’t want someone waking up and getting him in trouble for having visitors over. And the last thing he needs is Mikey waking up.

“It’s bullshit, okay?” Pah-chin whispers. “Takemichi’s phone died at the beginning of our workout. I remember cause I had to time his planks and push ups,”

“So you’re saying Kiskai followed us?”

The other male shrugs, “Yeah, man. I mean, you said it yourself, he’s creepy as fuck - and somethings off.”

Draken takes a deep breath. “I had suspicions he was trying to take over Toman, not kill someone. He can’t even throw a punch and you think he put Emma in the fucking hospital?”

“He wasn’t at Chifuyu’s party.” Pah-chin adds, like it means anything. “And who says he’s working alone? We already know he’s got some connections, like that Hanma guy. Who I literally overheard talking about a plan. What if this is it?”

“What the hell do they gain from hurting Emma?!” He barks. 

Emma isn’t violent, she doesn’t have a long list of people out to get her. She, of all people, didn’t deserve what happened to her. She doesn’t deserve any of this. Fuck. Everytime he thinks of Emma, all he can remember is that fucking kiss, the way Mikey’s skin felt underneath his finger tips -

“I, I don’t know.” Pah-chin admits. “But this is Kisaki. He’s like - way smarter than us.”

“If it’s really Kisaki, then there’s no way you of all people would figure it ou -“

“Fuck you, man, don’t be an asshole.” Pah-chin frowns. There’s no bark, no bite to it. “I’m just tryin’ to help,”

Draken knows he shouldn’t take it out on Pah-chin, especially when he was the one of the only people who backed him up before. It’s hard not to throw the blame onto someone else when it helps him quit feeling so shitty. 

“I’m sorry,” He says, and he can’t look the other male in the eyes, but he really does mean it. “I’m just…fucking stressed out.”

“I know,” Pah-chin nods, letting out a sigh, “Man, I know that, obviously. But can’t you hear me out? I know I’m not going crazy about this.”

“Okay, there’s a chance you could be right - Draken gives him the benefit of the doubt, partly because he feels guilty.  “I’m not jumping to any conclusions though.”

Pah-chin lets out a sigh, soft and gentle. “Okay.” He nods. “Fine. I get that.“

Draken nods as well, unsure what to say. He can feel the awkwardness growing between them. He tears his eyes away from the floor.  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to - you’re not an idiot-“

“Yeah, I know.” 

“I mean, I know you’re not an idiot either. I mean, what you said is plausible. I just - y’know, I wanna wait and shit,”

“Draken, man, it’s fine.” Pah-chin muses a smile. “I get it. You’re going through some shit.”

You have no fucking idea. He wants to say but just nods as the other male makes excuses for him. Draken wonders if Pah-chin would stumble to his defense if he told him that he kissed Mikey. That, while his pregnant girlfriend was laying brain-dead in the hospital, fighting for her life, he slept with her brother.

No. Pah-chin isn’t like that. Draken looks at him, now, lips still tugged at a ghost of a small smile. He’s a good person.

He clears his throat. “Do you want anything? I can make you some tea.”

Pah-chin shakes his head. “Nah, it’s fine. Don’t wanna wake up Mikey, right?”

A thick silence hangs in the air. Even hearing his name makes Draken wince.

“Right.”

“So,” Pah-chin cocks his head towards the door, “I’ll see you later, alright? Everyone's meeting up at Keisuke’s after school. His moms gonna let us order pizza and shit - I think you two should come.”

“Yeah.” Draken absently agrees, as he follows him to the exit, keys jingling in his pockets. He can’t imagine facing them all, when he feels so fucking disgusting.

They hug, and it’s kind of stiff, and Draken can’t tell if the awkwardness is him or Pah-chin or if it’s just the bleak and depressing circumstances around them. After Pah-chin leaves, he stays there, in the lounge for 38 minutes, sitting on the sofa, listening to the ticks of the clock. He’s scared to go back upstairs, scared that Mikey might be awake, waiting, scared to face reality, the consequences of his actions. 

Draken isn’t gay. 

As long as he can remember, girls have just…come to him. Maybe it’s his tall frame, or his strength. If you asked Draken, he thinks it’s the badass Dragon tattooed on his head. Anyway, there was a time before Emma, where he reeled in the attention he got. And as a stupid, horny 13 year old, crushes and girls were all that mattered to him. 

He never thought he was, and he isn’t. Maybe Mikey’s gay - Draken doesn’t really care. All he knows is that he isn’t. He thinks Emma is beautiful, he thinks he’s never laid his eyes on anyone more beautiful than her. And Mikey doesn’t count, because he looks almost identical to her. They could pass off as twins. Maybe that’s why Draken did it? Because - because he missed Emma so much, and Mikey was the closest thing -

He hadn’t thought of Emma once. The voice looms in the back of his head. It’s haunting him.

Fuck. He can’t be around people, but he also can’t be by himself, let guilt consume him whole.

So, he runs.

He slides into the room,  puts his hand to the wall and grabs the first jacket he feels without even peering inside. He shrugs on a pair of beaten up sneakers, shoves the front door open and runs.

On solid and safe ground, Draken learns how it feels to drown.

The air is sharp, bitter, nasty on his legs. He grimaces and grits his teeth as he adjusts to the unnatural speed he’s going at; so fast that his lungs are heaving, eyes teary, mind solely focused on breathing. 

There’s no direction to where he’s going, no goal to reach. He’s gasping and panting and his stomach aches, and there's sweat dripping everywhere and he’s shivering at the same time and he just runs and runs and runs, and there’s school kids looking at him weird as he’s heaving past them, and he runs, and runs, and runs, until he realises he’s reached the hospital.

And he stops running.

He must seem crazy; hair all dishevelled, retching and gagging dry, as he drags his feet over and slides himself down on a seat. His throat is dry, face drenched in sweat, tears, he can’t tell. 

As he’s catching his breath, his eyes dart over to the nurse - mousy brown hair - who had been taking care of Emma. He gets up immediately, despite his legs feeling like jelly. 

“Excuse me,”

She turns around, brow quirked. “Sorry?” Recognition flashes in her eyes as she takes a look at him. She turns her body around completely. “Ms Sano isn’t -”

“No, I know,” He takes a breath, “I know that. I just - just need to see her right now.”

“I am afraid you can not see her.”

“Why - why not?”

Her eyes skim over her checkboard. “Ms Sano is currently undergoing a cerebral angiography.”

He blinks, “What?” He runs a hand through his hair, “Okay, then, when can I see her?”

“Are you related to Ms Sano?”

“I’m -” There’s a pause. “I’m her boyfriend.”

She gives him this look. Strained, pitiful, sorry. 

And she doesn’t say anything else. Or maybe she does, but Draken misses it as he walks back to his seat in defeat. 

He had thought, and it was a stupid fucking thought, that if he’d told Emma right then and there, admitted it all, it’d be okay. Maybe some of his bad karma would chip away. Fuck, who is he fooling? There’s no way in hell he can make this okay.

“Ken.”

He lifts his head, eyes widening. “Grandpa? You’re still here?”

The old man is peering down at him, cane in his hand. “Yes. Though, I’d like to catch some fresh air now.”

The hospital courtyard is filled with the low hum of crickets. It’s beautiful, really - a willow tree planted in the middle, with branches that stretch out above them. Bushes of roses and another flower Draken doesn’t recognize. They sit down on a cool wooden bench. Draken watches a man throw buckets of salt onto the iced out concrete pathway. 

“You should be at school by this time.” The older male points out. He’s not scolding or mad, it’s just an observation.

“Yeah, I know,” Draken sighs softly, watching a breath of frost leave his lips. “We were too tired to go. Tomorrow, though,”

His thin lips stretch into a smile. “Tomorrow is Saturday.”

“Right,” He nods, “I forgot.” There’s a pause. “Grandpa, I’m sorry - I should have - I  should have protected her, and, and I’m sorry for not taking ca-”

“Quiet, Ken. Take a deep breath, enjoy the fresh air.”

“I - can you forgive me, at least?”

“How can I forgive you when you’ve done nothing wrong?”

Draken sucks in some cold air. It’d be easier if the old man hated him, he thinks.

“All you did was love my granddaughter. I can only thank you.”

“...You don’t have to.”

“I am inherently grateful to you, Ken. Emma, Mikey, they both need you. And you have always been there for them.”

“...Thank you.” Draken mumbles, ignoring the way his vision begins to blur.

“No, thank you.”

Draken doesn’t reply. He can’t. Something is stuck in his throat, and he’s breathing heavily, blinking the tears away.

“I’m scared.” He admits, voice croaky. 

The older male hums, unsurprised. “I am too. It’s only natural to be scared. We have no idea what’s to come.”

“What do I do? How the - how am I supposed to play a brave face for everyone else?”

“You don’t.”

He plays with his hands. “Mikey needs me. You said it yourself.”

“You need him, too. It’s okay to be scared.”

He nods slowly. “Okay.” A butterfly, big and blue, flutters onto the arm of the bench. Draken watches as it bats its wings in place. “Grandpa, Emma -”

He turns his head slowly to look at him.

“Emma, she was -”

“I am aware.”

Draken winces. Of course the doctors told him. “I’m sorry.”

“Sometime later in the future, I will hit you with my cane.” His lips curve, and he sits back. “But for now, it is okay.”

That’s when the tears streak down Draken’s face. His cry is silent, his body doesn’t shake, and the only indication he’s crying is the wetness on his face. In his chest, the tightness disappears. He knows it’s temporary, but it’s a nice feeling. Grandpa doesn’t say anything. Draken thinks he knows, but he only stares ahead, rambles on about the roses and primroses and pansies, whatever the fuck those are.