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It was just a normal night. Matt was out with Karen and Foggy and you were home with Michael and Hayley. So when Matt came bursting in, rushing towards where he keeps his daredevil suit stashed, you were rightfully confused.
“Matt, what-”
“Something’s going on. I don't have time to explain, I'm sorry.” He was quickly changing and you rushed over to help him, glad the children had gone down early.
“Okay, but be safe? I love you.”
“I love you too.” He said before disappearing out the roof access. Unsettled, you decided to wait up for him.
After an hour, you began to get anxious.
After two, you turned on the news and saw a shooting at Josie's had occurred. Multiple dead, multiple wounded. You started to pace.
After three, you began to call everyone's phones. Matt's, Foggy's, Karen's. No answer. You were full blown panicking. You knew someone was dead. That could be the only explanation.
Four hours and twenty minutes after Matt left, you finally heard the rooftop door open. Holding your breath, you watched as the outline of your husband came into view. Missing his helmet and with multiple knives sticking out of him, he slowly made his way down the stairs. You let out a soft sob as you found yourself thankful he was alive but terrified of what that meant for Foggy and Karen.
“Oh, Matt…” You whispered. His breathing hitched at his name and then he was crumbling right there in front of you. You darted forward and caught him, trying your best to avoid the many knives sticking out of him. He clung to you and sobbed, the sound broken beyond repair. The blood drained out of your face, your breathing picking up.
“Matt, what happened?” He only sobbed again and buried his head into your neck. You held him for a while as he completely broke apart in your arms. You only grew more scared as the time went on and your husband refused to answer your quiet questions about what had broken him down so badly. You needed to know. Needed to try and steer the wreckage of the ship that was your husband's psych. Finally, you managed to coax Matt to face you and the sight only broke your heart more. In front of you was a man who was completely shattered and you knew before Matt even uttered the words. You had thought earlier that someone was dead but now you knew who. Even without Matt telling you. Only one person outside of your home would warrant this level of pain. You felt your own tears well up and Matt just pressed his forehead against yours and took a shaky breath.
“Foggy… Foggy, he's-” Matt couldn't even finish the sentence but you knew. It was your turn to sob.
“Matt, no. Please. Not him, not Foggy.” Matt's whole form shuddered at your words but he nodded against your forehead, confirming your worst fears. You shook and sobbed, Matt pulling you in close despite the way it hurt him. Together, the two of you broke down.
You don't know how long the two of you kneeled there crying together. But eventually you forced yourself to calm down enough to begin damage control. Right now, Matt needed you. He needed someone to set course for him now that he'd been cut adrift.
Keeping his head buried in your neck, you brought one hand up to card through his hair and used your other hand to call a contact on your phone.
“I'm going to call Claire and have her come over. You need to be looked at and patched up.” You told him quietly, listening to the phone ring. But Matt shook his head.
“I'll be fine.”
“No, you won't be. You look like you got in a fight with a porcupine.” Matt didn't say anything but you got the sense he still felt like he didn't need to be patched up. So you smoothed a hand through his hair and gently scratched at the base of your skull.
“I know what this is, Matt. It's guilt telling you that you don't deserve to get better. But guilt is lying to you.”
At that point, Claire picked up. Her usually calm voice had an edge of panic to it.
“Is our mutual friend okay?” She asked, her tone and word choice making you assume she was with someone.
“He's alive but he's not in good shape. Is there any way you could come over?”
“Yeah, I'll be there as soon as I can. Hey…” Claire said your name cautiously, like you she knew something horrible had happened. Her voice dropped, getting quiet. “I saw the news…Who's gone?”
You blinked back tears and Matt whimpered in your arms.
“Foggy…it was Foggy.” Claire cursed quietly then promised she would be over as soon as she could.
You sat with Matt until there was a soft knock on your door. You carefully untangled yourself from Matt and headed to the door, opening it with sigh.
“Hi, Claire. Thank you for coming so soon.” You told her as you let her in.
“The kids asleep?” She asked quietly and you nodded.
“That's good.” She murmured. She followed you into the living room where Matt was sitting on the floor. His expression was far off and deadened. Every now and then, a tear would slip down his face. Claire's face was grim as she took him in.
“I didn't want to take any of the knives out until you got here. Just in case.”
“Good choice. We'll do it together. They mostly look superficial.” Claire told you, walking over to Matt. The two of you kneeled in front of him and looked him over. Claire looked him over clinically while you looked him over in concern. He really did look like he'd gone a couple rounds with a porcupine. And the deadened look on his face didn't help.
“Matt? I'm gonna start pulling these knives out of you. Your wife is going to help me, okay?” Matt didn't say anything, barely nodding in response. Claire took that as her cue and she began gently removing the knives. With shaking hands, you began to help her remove them, sticking to the ones that were practically falling out already. It took several minutes of the two of you working silently to finally pull all of the knives out.
“Let's get this armor off of him.” Claire murmured. Together, the two of you began removing his suit. He didn't fight you but he didn't exactly help either. You knew he was far off in his mind, reliving the night. Once Matt was free of his suit and down to just his boxers, Claire began to stitch closed the wounds that needed it. You sat back and watched Matt's face. The way he barely flinched concerned you. You knew he had been through so much tonight and you were scared of just how badly it hurt him. Foggy was his best friend. You used to joke that they were platonic soulmates. The thought of losing someone that close to you was enough to give you goosebumps. You lost yourself in your thoughts so when Claire reached out to gently touch your hand, you started.
“Sorry.” You muttered. She nodded towards the door and you got up and followed her to it.
“Thankfully nothing needed more than a couple stitches. But his mental state? You're gonna have to decide that for yourself. I don't have to tell you to watch him closely. If you need anything, call me.” She said, her voice solemn. You nodded. She reached out and hugged you and you returned it fiercely. You knew once she walked out that door, the care of your husband would fall solely on your shoulders. With a shuddering breath, you took a step back and let her leave. Taking a fortifying moment, you finally turned and walked back to Matt. He hadn't moved from where you'd left him. So you approached him carefully, like you would a wounded animal.
“Matt? Do you want to try to lay down? Or do you want to stay up?” You asked softly. He didn't answer you at first, just stared out the window. Finally, after several moments of silence, he turned towards you.
“I.. I don't know.” He swallowed hard, blank eyes staring in your direction but even if he could see, you knew he'd be looking through you. Slowly, you kneeled down to his level and put a gentle hand on his shoulder.
“Okay, baby. How about this: why don't you lay down on the couch and I'll bring you a cup of tea?” You asked, being sure to keep your voice soft and gentle. Matt stayed quiet again before nodding and standing. You moved your hand to his bicep to help and stood with him. You watched him walk over to the couch before heading to the kitchen. You made tea as quickly as you could while keeping Matt's sensitivity in mind. When you walked it back out to the living room, you found Matt sitting rigidly on the couch. You sighed softly and rounded the couch to face Matt. You carefully handed him the mug. He shakily took it from you and without thinking, you reached out to steady him. Unfortunately, he flinched at the contact, spilling tea over both of your hands. You hissed at the hot liquid coating your hands but Matt didn't even react to the pain. He merely set the cup aside and apologized. You ran to the kitchen and grabbed a towel, wiping off your hands then coming back to wipe off Matt's. Sighing, you set the towel aside and gently took Matt's hands.
“Baby. I.. can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am. Tonight has been awful and I'm not going to make you relive it. I just want what's best for you right now, okay? Whatever you need, okay, baby?” Matt's face scrunched up and then next thing you know he's clinging to you, full bodied sobs wracking his frame. You took it in stride, holding him close and rocking him gently. It went on like this for a long time, Matt's grief never wavering. You just held him through it and prayed your children didn't wake up. The last thing you wanted was for them to see their father in this state. You gently ran your hand up and down his back and hummed softly. A melody the two of you knew well. It was something you would do to settle your children on rough nights. You knew extending that comfort to Matt was critical.
Time was running out though. Soon, your children would wake up and you would be responsible for telling them they're godfather was dead. You had to put Matt back together at least enough that you could get him in bed. You knew it was a colossal ask. So you waited. You let Matt mourn as much as you could. But as the clock crept closer and closer to 6 am, you knew you had to get him in bed.
“Matt? Sweetheart, we need to get you to bed. The kids are going to wake up soon.” You broke the news to him quietly. He shuddered but nodded. Together, the two of you stood. You quietly lead Matt to your shared bedroom and sat him on the edge of the bed. You walked over to the dresser and pulled out one of Matt's softest shirts. You gently pulled it over his head with his help. Once you had that done, Matt laid down and you pulled the covers around him. You kissed his forehead and went to leave but Matt's hand on your wrist stopped you.
“What about you? You've been awake all night.” Matt asked, concern masking the exhaustion in his voice.
“I've done this before. I'll be alright. You sleep. I'll take care of everything else.”
“Are you going to tell them?” You swallowed hard.
“Yeah. I don't want to risk them hearing it somewhere else. I'll probably keep Michael home from school today.” Hayley wasn't old enough for school yet and you just hoped you'd be able to explain in a way that she would understand. With that in mind, you gave Matt one last kiss and slipped out of the room.
The first thing you did was email Michael's teacher to explain the situation. Then you made yourself something to drink to help with the exhaustion. Then, you waited.
Without you to wake them, both kids slept in until close to 8. You would be lying if you said you didn't take a small power nap in the time it took for them to wake up. Michael was the first to rise, walking into the living room with a yawn.
“What's going on, Mom? Why didn't you wake me for school?” You opened your arms for him and he walked over and hugged you.
“I've got some bad news. Let me go get your sister and then I'll tell you both, okay?”
“Bad news? How bad, mom?” You smiled grimly and left to get Hayley, not answering his question. You opened the door to her room and found her already sitting up in bed, rubbing her eyes.
“Mama?” She asked sleepily.
“There's my beautiful girl. Did you sleep okay, sweetheart?”
“Uh-huh.” You picked her up and checked her diaper, cooing as you realized she slept through the night without wetting herself. You took her to do her business and then brought her out to the living room where Michael was waiting. Sitting down next to him, you sat Hayley in your lap.
“Mom, you're scaring me.” Michael said quietly. You reached over and squeezed his hand.
“I wish I could assure you everything was alright but the truth is, it isn't. Uncle Foggy… he was killed last night. There was a really angry man who hurt him and unfortunately, there was nothing anyone could do. I'm so sorry.” Michael shook his head, tears welling up in his eyes.
“No, Mom, no.” You pulled him into you and held him as he broke down. Hayley on the other hand looked at you in confusion. She gently tugged on your shirt to get your attention.
“Mama? What mean?” She asked, confusion evident in her voice.
“Uncle Foggy is gone, sweetheart. We'll never see him again.” At your words, Michael sobbed harder. Hayley's eyes were filling with tears.
“Want Uncle Foggy.”
“I'm sorry, sweet thing. No more Uncle Foggy.” You then had two sobbing children in your arms and you held them fiercely, crying with them. You heard the soft click of a door closing and looked up to see an exhausted Matt shuffling closer to the three of you. He pulled all of you into his arms and set his head on top of yours.
Together, as a family, you began to mourn.