Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. The camera fades in on a calm ocean sky. A pirate ship was sailing toward a tropical island. The ship captain steps out from his quarters, wearing a snakeskin jacket and an eyepatch.

“Yahahaha! Aloha, ya bunch of Reality TV rejects!” The mysterious man bellowed, pointing his cutlass toward the island. “Y’all thought that little Camp Island was rough for your stay? That crap was shaved clean thanks to the giant floating vacuum, which means no more Wawanakwa!”

A few minutes later. The ship docked at the port, and he jumped down with elegance, and the ship sailed away somewhere.

“It is I! Gorooooooooo Majimaaaaaaaa! The former Tojo Clan member.” Said the host, named Majima. “Never fear! From today. I will be hosting the second season of Total Drama Something… which will be renamed later after I finish my entrance.”

He dusted his suit, which wasn’t covered in anything, before smirking at the camera.

“Yer asking… where the hell is this? Well, it’s obviously a tropical island located in Hawaii. I mean, just look at it!” The scene zoomed out, revealing a huge tropical island before returning to Majima. “They got those tropical vibes!”

The camera swoops over the entire moderately big tropical island with a volcano, tikis, palm trees, you name it… The camera panned back to Majima.

“Without further ado. I’ll be your little Tour Guide pal. Follow me, lass!”

He showed some buildings, notably the dining hall, lodges, and the restroom, which was surprisingly clean compared to Camp Wawanakwa, a real spooky cave. He also showed the elimination zone located on a hill with a wrecked ship as the decoration. He stopped at the scene where the hill could be seen in the background.

“I hope yer won’t get lost during your ‘field trip,’ like, that would suck. Really! I wouldn’t want to chase you down to return to your original spot, so make sure to learn this island…” Said Majima in a low, scary tone.

Suddenly, his mood shifted. “Now for the contest part? Yeah, I planned a lot. Like, way more than you think of. Don’t drop yer guts if ya find it scary or anything, it’ll be the good time to overcome them!”

“If you lose the contest. You guys will be sitting on that hill to exile one of your fellow until the crowd is dry enough to continue the elimination.”

He clapped his hands. “Anyway. What happens when you’re out of the game? Have a catapult launch you? Have some mobs beat you up? Nah! Yer just need to walk the plank on that hill before the actual boat takes you away somewhere.” Said Majima, pointing at the end of the hill with a plank glued. “Yeah, don’t worry. No crazy predators lurking beneath the water, and the drop isn’t that much compared to that hill in Wawanakwa, maybe around a hundred feet drop. Trust me on this one.”

He went back to the camp. Prepping his lawn chair.

“Ya might be wondering: Majima-san! How the hell does an ex-yakuza, of all people, become a Reality TV host?” He sat on a lawn chair. “Well, then! I’ll share ya some ‘sob’ story about the whole ‘become a host in teen trauma olympics’? It all starts when…”

He actually gives his audience a flashback of how he became the Total Drama host.

FLASHBACK START

Chris was being escorted by the Government in handcuffs.

“That giant Roomba incident clearly wasn’t MY fault. Cut me some slack, dudes!” Chris complained.

“Yeah, right. You have endangered many kids here. No reason to let you go.” The officer replied.

“What?! Seriously, dude! BELIEVE ME! I was not responsible for this crap! You gotta get those interns—” His complaint was cut when he was pushed into the chopper.

Majima narrates:

“Yeah? Turns out, Chris wasn’t the mastermind behind the UFO conspiracy. Some interns left it on ‘demon mode’ and went balls out. Sucking up everything and leave it dust-free. Sounds like something Ichiban Kasuga will face with his hallucination. So, Chris’s gone for a long year of ‘vacation.’ Nobody ever finds out what happened to the true culprits. And one last thing, what’s his ol’ buddy Chef doing while his favorite host, McLean, is gone?”

Chef Hatchet was sitting at his desk, buried by paperwork, trying to find the potential co-hosts for the second season after promising Chris to continue the drama.

“Yumeko Jabami, the gambler, bla, bla, yeah no, she’s nuts.” Grumbled Chef, which he fold it into a ball and threw it, picking up the next paper.

“Sephiroth??? What the hell is Chris up to? I’m not picking this either.” He threw it away.

Majima narration:

“See what he was doing? I’ll let you guess.”

Beat.

“Okay! 2 seconds are up! He was sitting at his desk, filled with papers and bland caffeine. The old Chef was going to handle the new season alone, but he needed a new Chris McLean! So, he pulled all these job applications, and every single one of them is from totally safe and normal people. Hell, I wouldn’t consider myself a normal person.”

Back at the flashback. The chef couldn’t find a good candidate to replace Chris.

“Those maggots are really mad, insane. I guess that’s how Chris would imagine it.” Said Chef.

He looked around and noticed the interns.

“Daisuke, Xiaoyu and Panda! I need you to check these applications and make sure to bring ‘em to me when you find a good one.” Ordered the Chef before leaving for the restroom.

“Aye, sir!” The interns saluted, while the Panda growled.

They moved toward the papers. “That’s so many of them…” Xiaoyu gasped.

“But like, none of them are functional human beings,” Daisuke replied.

“Wait! I think I got it.” Said Xiaoyu, picking up a paper.

The interns read the application from Benson Dunwoody.

“A park manager sounds simple enough, he had done plenty of stuff and gone through some hardships.” Said Xiaoyu. “I’d say he’d fit for the next host.”

“You got it!” Said Daisuke, he pulled up the ‘APPROVED’ stamp and stamped on something else before he went to deliver the news through the mail.

“Err…” Questioned Panda.

“That was not the right paper.” Muttered Xiaoyu.

The chef returned from his bathroom break and swiped the paper that Daisuke had approved.

“Good work. Now, let’s see,” Said the chef before spitting out his drink. “GORO MAJIMA?!”

“Uh, we got the wrong one?” Said Daisuke.

“You stamped the wrong guy and you mailed him .” Said Xiaoyu, who was groaning with Panda.

“Wait. We can cancel them anytime, right?” Daisuke added.

“He replied that he’s already coming to see me.” Chef sighed.

“Well, good luck?” Xiaoyu nervously said.

“Man, I shouldn’t have let you kids handle the work…” The chef sighed.

“Do you want to investigate each thousand papers alone, though?” Xiaoyu asked.

“Yeah. You’re right.” The Chef replied. “Also, you three are fired.”

“WHAT?!” The three interns yelled in unison.

FLASHBACK END

Cut back to the present.

“And that’s the whole adventure of how I was dragged here. I gotta say, it was a new experience. I felt like I was being reborn to become the Reality Show host.” Said Majima. “Now… let’s talk about the important level, the true reason that people are signing up… Prize for winning this game!”

“One million ain’t enough? How about… hmmm… Two million? Yeah? Exciting, isn’t it? Well, get yer ass into working and brute your way into winning the prize!” He offered while staring at the camera.

“Oi! Are you there?!” He yelled at someone.

The chef arrived, but he’s not wearing his iconic cook outfit. Rather, a purple shirt with a neck tie and khaki pants. He was dropping a treasure chest, revealing two million dollars inside.

“I hope you’re not too crazy to host,” Chef grumbled. “Why is there even a pirate ship earlier?”

Majima tapped his chin as he tried to remember why he brought his Goromaru ship here.

He snapped his finger. “Oh! That’s right, hah. I—”

He explained the entire plot of Like a Dragon: Pirate Yakuza in Hawaii on how he washed up on an island and had amnesia, and later became a pirate captain, all thanks to the kid named Noah Rich, who had saved him, and his awesome ‘cat’ Goro the tiger! Then went on an adventure to make the kid’s dream come true.

“Samoa Joe is real?!” Chef gasped.

“Dunno who that is.” The host replied. “Yer gotta keep that chest away from the public. Make sure to hide them well, like how you hid those bodies.”

The chef mumbled something before grabbing the heavy chest again to hide the prize.

“And let the chaos begin! Welcome to…” He took a deep breath.

“Total Drama! Campers in Hawaii!”

He does his iconic Mad Dog laugh.

[INTRO]

“Weeeeeelcome back, ladies and gentlemen! I hope ya enjoyed a minute of the banger intro.” Said Majima. “Did I ever mention how many contestants will be playing? Welp, looks like I forgot.”

A moment of thinking.

“THAT’S RIGHT! Yeah, there are six returnees and twelve newbies coming along the way! I thought my stupid ass invited 36 people, but it’s better to have less people.”

CRASH!

The first crate washed up onto the shore. The crate noticeably has some drawings of the cross and a family crest painted on the center.

“Ah, looks like our first returnee has arrived!” Said Majima, whilst picking up his crowbar.

He opened the crate with his tool to free the first returnee, revealing it to be the familiar brown-haired vampire slayer, holding his iconic whip.

“Oh, ho, look at that! The big Trevor Belmont is back in the open,” grinned Majima. “Guy’s full of vampire drama than the high school club.”

“Seriously? You could’ve taken me here by a boat. Not cramming me into a small crate, which I barely fit and breathe inside.” Trevor complained. “And it reeks.”

Majima grinned, “Yeah, yeah, that was on me. But where’s the fun if every camper were riding a boat to reach here? I decided to turn a massive degree and make you guys get shipped into here instead. Also, that reek was from your alcoholism.”

“Hmph. Whatever,” said Trevor.

“So!” He clapped his hands. “What brings yer here for another chance of Total Drama after your… disaster planning in the last season?” questioned Majima.

“Damn it, don’t bring that crap. That was the most humiliating moment of my life, and it wasn’t even about the goddamn vampire,” said Trevor. “I have more confidence in actually trying to play this game now since I was born in the 15th century and learned about… whatever is this timeline?”

“Yosh! That’s good, then! Anyway, where are the other crates?” asked Majima.

“Oh, they’re coming alright.” Said Trevor, pointing at several crates washing their way onto the island.

The second crate, decorated with deer horns, arrived. The host freed the second captive, revealing Meme Bashame.

“Hellooo…?” said Bashame.

“Ah, you… uh… Meme Bashame. Welcome back to Total Drama. How was your ‘cruise’ trip, eh?” asked Majima.

“Bashame was promised a Deer Club party! Where is it?” asked the girl.

“Uh… you do know this isn’t about deer club or whatever. You’re on Total Drama,” replied Majima.

“Oooh, that!” She remembered. “Bashame has played the last season and forgotten what happened.”

“It was your narcolepsy that got you eliminated, dude. Yer addicted to sleeping anywhere, hell, I can even picture you sleeping near the volcano edge,” replied Majima. “Go on, and reunite with this guy.”

Trevor said his first word. “Hey.”

“Hello!!! I hope there is rice here,” said Bashame.

“Rough trip?” said Trevor, ignoring the rice since he knew they’re going to eat the same slopes anyway.

“Mmm. Nope! Bashame had a nice nap inside the box, it’s very warm…” said Bashame.

“Have you ever gone to bed or something? Or that was just a rare occurrence,” asked Trevor.

“Deer don’t sleep on a bed.” The girl replied.

“The talk’s over! I can see the third crate arriving.” Majima interrupted.

The third crate arrived, which is colored red and has a demon horn decoration.

He was about to free the next one until a kick was heard inside the crate. A second kick explodes the crate open, wooden panels flying everywhere. The person… well… a demon left. Unimpressed.

“Well, look who it is! A Sour Demon herself, Malina. I wasn’t expecting ya to return for another shot at Total Drama!” Majima grinned.

“Don’t assume I returned here just for fun. I found another excuse to leave the underworld again after dealing with everything,” she scowled. “Also, seriously. Find a better way to bring us here next time.”

“Guilty as charged, lady. Why not tell me about your first performance of the previous season… something about sabotaging.” He chuckled.

The demon began to give him a threatening glare face-to-face, but Majima wasn’t fazed by her aura.

“Mention that again, and I’ll give you an answer about how having your throat slashed feels like,” said Malina in a very threatening tone. How could you tell?

“Geez, okay, you’re no fun for a scary demon lady,” Majima groaned. “Now go meet your buddies over there.”

Malina stomped toward the other veterans.

“Hello! Bashame thinks it’s nice to see you again! Bashame wishes all of you a stroke of good luck.” Said Bashame.

“Yeah, like that will ever happen once in a lifetime,” Malina scoffed.

“Something happened to you again?” asked Trevor.

“Of course. My console fell off in the water before I was thrown in the crate,” Malina replied.

“Hmph, yeah, I get that feeling. Must be terrible,” said Trevor.

The fourth crate arrived, which was made of metal that somehow floated on the water.

“Huh. I was sure the metal box would sink like the Titanic. Whatever was inside, bring it on!” grinned Majima, opening the crate with his crowbar.

“Or it was painted.” Trevor snickered.

A familiar robotic figure crawled out of the crate and got up in front of them.

“Oh shit…” Trevor said, followed by Malina groaning.

“Ah, the so-called highest valuable asset of JcJenson, who’s now at the lowest count. Heh. Welcome back, Serial Designation J! I’m sure none of the veterans would enjoy your presence this time.” Majima said.

“Stop calling me that. It’s just embarrassing. I still work for JcJenson.” J cringed.

“Ah, the microwave who lost the bike race,” Malina said.

“Seriously? You two are back?” J groans.

Majima and Trevor laughed, earning some questions from J. She narrowed her visor at those two before speaking.

“When the hell did you two become best friends? What in the blasphemous is this?” J asked. “I thought you would go all the way on killing each other since you two are enemies at first sight.”

“Video games were surprisingly enjoyable for a person who was clueless about ‘modern’ society,” Trevor said.

“Yeah, we bonded through gaming together at the resort almost every day, better than the actual nuisance. Vanoss. What’s wrong?” The demon spoke.

J was silent.

“At least three of us shared our common hatred of Vanoss,” grinned Trevor.

“Doesn’t mean I’ll be your bestie or stuff. I’ll find the way to be the victor of this season.” J replied.

“Yeah, she’s getting out early, no doubt,” Malina said.

“We’ll see…” Trevor chuckled.

The fifth crate arrived, and there was a lambda logo painted on it. The captive broke free on their own, revealing Gordon Freeman with his iconic crowbar.

“Yo! The goat himself, Gordon Freeman! How ya doing, my man? Back for some more?” Majima said.

Gordon replied with a nod and smiled. He slung his crowbar onto his shoulder, resting.

“So! Do you think you have a perfect shot to redeem yourself after the bunny kicked you out after realizing the potential of your HEV suit?” Majima asked.

Silence.

“Oh, right. You’re that one silent protagonist. I hope I didn’t piss ya off.” Majima said.

Gordon shrugged, but he felt confident enough that he would make it this far in this season. He headed towards the other veterans.

“Bashame is happy to see Freeman again!” Bashame said to one of her former teammates.

The man smiled back at her as he pushed his glasses back up.

“Yeah, whatever,” J said.

“Who do you think will be our last guest?” Trevor asked.

“Who the hell knows? As long as they’re not insufferable, then I can handle it. Probably.” Malina replied.

“Bashame wishes it’s Shaggy,” Bashame said.

“That’s up to us to find out! And the final crate just arrived!” Majima grinned.

The final crate of the veteran washed ashore. It was a suspiciously normal crate.

“And for our final veteran… introducing…” He ripped the crate open, revealing nothing but carrots inside.

“Yo, I didn’t ask for this, but free food is free food!” Majima said.

The drone froze at the spot after noticing the carrots. “No…” J said.

“Eh, what’s up, doc?”

They turned around to see Bugs Bunny chewing on his carrot. J was the last one to turn after hearing a familiar voice.

“NO, NO, NOOOO!” J screamed in agony.

“I’ll be damned, the hopper has returned after his hospital trip.” Trevor chuckled.

“Ah, well, good to see you again, I guess. Just don’t throw pranks on me,” Malina said.

“Sup, everyone? How are you doing? I’m fine and stable, I can still hop around freely.” He hopped towards Freeman and gave him a high-five before giving the next one to Bashame, who had already fallen asleep on the sand.

“Classic Meme.” Bugs said.

He then offered Trevor a high-five, and Malina just nodded. Meanwhile, J has her arm crossed.

“C’mon, doc. No hugs or anything? That sounds harsh.” Bugs frowned.

“Why would I even give you one?” J hissed. “How the hell are you so full of colors and life?”

“He was obviously in a good mood because he’s here for another chance to dogpile on you,” Malina said.

“By the way, I dug to escape the hospital bills. I still haven’t paid them, though,” Bugs said.

“Fair reason, US bills are freaking nuts,” Majima replied.

“Gah, shut up. Having you, Trevor, and Bugs here makes it worse already.” J said.

“Alright, ladies and gentlemen! Looks like this is every veteran we’ve gathered. I can tell y’all are excited to redeem yourselves after an embarrassing performance from the last season.” Majima said. “Now we’re moving onto the newbies! Lots of newbies you’re going to love or hate with.”

“Say, doc, how come none of the final 3 returned for this season?” Bugs asked.

“Good question, bunny! 1. I wanted to be original than Chris by having no winner and runner-ups returning. 2. From what I gathered, those three were already satisfied with what they got. And 3. Bringing them back is going to be  LAAAAAAAAAAAME! Like, yer just show up and the new fellas would vote you out immediately since the veterans already knew how to play and pose a threat, so it’s a waste of slots.” Majima replied. “Anyway, I’m quitting the yap session. Here’s the ship!”

The pirate ship comes toward the dock, not far away from the veteran gathering.

“Oh, come on. Now that’s freaking unfair. They have a free ride, while we got crammed in the crate, thinking we were kidnapped to land here,” Malina complained.

“Oi, I ain’t gonna give the new fresh players a bad entrance. Gotta give ‘em some respect, eh?” Majima replies to the demon.

The veteran groaned and headed their way onto the dock whilst Gordon was carrying a sleeping Bashame.

They’ve reached the dock, waiting for the first guest to exit, revealing it to be a lady wearing a purple outfit.

Yzma (Emperor’s New Groove)

We see a lady wearing a purple dress with a comically large feather collar, sitting on a throne, facing her cheap camera setup.

“Greetings, fellow peasants. I am Yzma—genius and future icon of this so-called Total Drama competition.” Yzma said. “Why, you may ask? It needs me . I bring sabotage, deception, and transforming people into llamas. Top that.”

She stood up and raised her fist.

“I’ve poisoned emperors, sabotaged heroes, and once tried to eliminate an entire village with a squirrel army. If that's not peak "drama," I don’t know what is.” Yzma said. “So, you better pick—”

The big, muscular man walked into the scene, carrying a tray of food.

“Hey, Yzma. I was wondering if you—” her henchman asked before he noticed the camera. “Oh, hey, are you chatting with your new gadget?”

“Those ain’t a gadget, Kronk. I was busy monologuing, and you interrupted it.” She hissed.

“Hey, is this one of the cooking shows you were auditioning for?” He walked to the camera, wearing an apron that says ‘1# henchman.’

“No! I’m auditioning for Total Drama! Why are you here in the first place?” She hissed.

“Oh, right, uh, anyways, the puffs are getting cold. I added that cinnamon glaze you hated last time. Wanna try it again?” Kronk asked.

“Ooh, yes, I’d like a second chance at something I despise . Hold my villain resume.” Yzma said, suddenly, in a sweet tone.

“Um, do I leave now?” Kronk asked.

“Yes. Please do.” Yzma sighed.

“Great! I’ll see you at the dining hall!” Kronk responded.

He left in excitement. Yzma stared at the camera again.

“Where was I again? Oh yes. Pick me or I might send my henchman to poison your tomorrow’s breakfast and turn yourself into a llama,” Yzma said.

She turned off her recording.

===

“Yzma! How ya doing, lady? Ya got some seasick or nah? Otherwise, welcome to Total Drama!” Majima greeted.

“Oh, it was a wonderful ride. I clearly did not enjoy it. Lots of annoying people inside, tearing my eardrums out.” Yzma replied.

“Alright, not the one I expected, but a reasonable guess. Anyway, do ya think you’re gonna make friends here? Or just deceive them?” Majima whispered.

“May or maybe not. We already have weird creatures standing in front of us.” Yzma said.

“Five seconds in, already disliked her vibes,” Malina said.

“Hey, you walked out of the brothel or something?” Trevor asked.

“Do you walk out of the church or something?” Yzma said.

“That was some terrible comeback, lady,” Malina said.

“Just watch your mouth there, satan. I’ll find the way to win.” Yzma said.

“Mhm… sure…” Trevor deadpanned.

“Alright, if you say so, discount Cruella,” Malina replied.

Both of them chuckled, causing Yzma to glare at them harshly, but kept it to her mouth.

“Man, this is gonna take a while. Anyway, here comes our 2nd guest!” Majima said.

The second guest left the boat, she was a high school girl with multi-colored hair and a horn made out of her hair.

Ibuki Mioda (Danganronpa)

The camera turns on. The door bursts open with a loud ‘SLAM!’ and smokes from a fog machine. The girl walked in, playing a loud guitar riff on an electric guitar strapped on her chest.

“YOOOOO! What’s up drama dudes and dudettes! Ibuki Mioda is here to audition!” Ibuki said, striking a powerful pose.

“This is Ibuki recording from a secret area of the Hope’s Peak Academy, the very same school the book nerd from the last season attended with Ibuki!” Ibuki said. “So why is Ibuki joining Total Drama? Because DRAMA is CONCERT!”

A light flashed at her, causing the musician to cover her eyes.

“Hey! What the hell are you doing in here?! It’s midnight!” The school security yelled. “Return to your dorm at once!”

“Oh no! They found the secret area. Ibuki’s gotta go! A HUGE reminder to vote for Ibuki, okay, thanks, bye!”

She salutes before running away.

“This isn’t even a secret area! This is a gymnasium hall!”

And the camera shuts off after the staff accidentally tripped it.

===

“Welcome, crazy girl. How was the trip?” Majima asked.

“Ibuki finds the ride enjoyable! Did y’all see the way Ibuki climbed all the way to the top with her limbs?” Ibuki said.

Nobody has seen her performance on the cruise.

“Aw.” Ibuki frowned.

“How do ya think you will perform here?” Majima asked.

“Ibuki’s gonna melt the performance through music, sooooooo, let’s get loud, GET MESSY, AND MAYBE EVEN VOTED OFF TWICE FOR FUN!” Ibuki said.

“You know what? She’s funny.” Bugs filled in.

“Already annoying than that sorceress,” J said.

“Bashame finds her funny. She speaks like Bashame, too!” Bashame replied, finally woken up from her slumber.

“Whoa, Ibuki found her soulmate? Ibuki’s excited to make new friends on this island!” The musician said.

“Ugh, there are still 10 more people to greet. I can’t stand around here all day.” Yzma said.

“I was the first one to arrive here; consider yourself having a better fate,” Trevor said.

The third guest exited the boat, he was wearing a green baggy shirt, a cap, and shades.

Ryder (Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas)

He turned on the camera, and it was shaky. He was in the middle of the gang war against his rival branch. Gunfire and explosions echo in the background. The man fired a few bullets with a Tec-9. He ducks back down.

“Ayo! Man up, fools, we can’t let the Ballas screw Grove Streets over.” The man in the recording yelled.

He faced the camera.

“Okay, this thing on? Yeah, alright, good stuff. I’m Ryder, yo, from the Grove Street family, the best of the bunch.” Ryder said.

The bullet ricocheted off the metal near him.

“If you ain’t ever heard of me, then you ain’t been listening, busta. I’mma show these Reality Show clowns on how a true OG handles the drama.” Ryder brags.

Another bullet ricocheted off the metal near him. He picked up a Molotov and threw it over. A distant scream was heard.

“That’s how you do it, fool! Y’all got challenges? I live through challenges. Ballas' territory taking? Drug trafficking? Kidnapping? Crooked cops? Yeah, this is a piece of cake, busta.” Ryder said.

“Ryder! What the hell are you doing, man? Big Smoke’s need some hands over here!” CJ yelled.

“Man, what a busta. Big Bone dude is up to something again. Make sure to vote for me, or I’ll break into your house. Ninja style! ” Ryder does a pose.

Ryder grabbed his TEC-9 and left to help his homies, eventually, the bullet hit the camera, causing it to break.

===

“Ryder from the Grove Street. How are you doing, my man?” Majima said.

“Jeh. Pretty awesome, yo.” Ryder said.

He does a fist bump with the newcomer.

“Ayo, gang. This is my competition?” Ryder said as he was looking at the other 8 players. “This feels like a kindergarten trip, yo.”

“Kindergarten? Please, you’ve never experienced the full Total Drama yet,” Yzma said.

“Shit. I’ve been through worse than whatever this is. I ain’t being stopped.” Ryder bragged.

“You sure? You got a bad aura inside, I don’t think you’ll make it that far for a gangster like that, even for me.” Malina said.

“Hey, don’t mess with me, honey. I’ll beat yo ass outta this crib, ninja style!” Ryder chirped.

Gordon motioned the gangster to zip his mouth before he continued.

“Ooooh, do ya?” Malina growled.

“Ya know, I would advise from pissing the lady off. You’ll wake up in the coffin with several broken bones,” Bugs said, chewing on his carrot.

“You’re lucky. I don’t feel like snatching your jugulars out today.” Malina huffed.

“Yeah, yeah, busta—” Ryder said before his mouth was fully covered by Gordon.

The fourth guest arrived. It was a little girl with an odango hairstyle, wearing a red shirt and black pants.

Pucca (Pucca)

The camera turns on. It was recorded outside the restaurant with a sign titled ‘GOH-RONG’ over the door.

The girl, presumably below teen’s age, stopped her track and tossed the delivery bag away, then faced the camera.

She smiled sweetly at the camera before giggling. She doesn’t speak at all, mostly giving peace signs and grinning.

Just then, the girl noticed her crush passing by. A heart-shaped cloud appeared on her face. She immediately chased after him. Her crush noticed her and began to run away as she was chasing after him.

After a few moments of chaos outside, her uncles filled in.

“Ah, sorry for that! Pucca saw her crush. She seems very… passionate over him.” Uncle Ho said. “What was his name? Oh yeah, Garu.”

“She wanted to be in your Total Drama! Said she would win with cooking, martial arts, or undying love.” Uncle Linguini said.

“And if Garu joined the show… Invited or not. She will come anyway.” Uncle Ho added.

A loud crash was heard nearby, possibly Garu throwing things at Pucca.

“Thanks for the time. She will see you… very soon.” The three uncles said in unison.

They bowed, and an object, presumably from Garu, was thrown into the camera. Breaking it.

===

The little girl greeted Majima with a bow.

“Yo, name’s Majima. The brand-new host for Total Drama. Enjoying the ship ride so far, kiddo?” Majima said.

Pucca repeatedly nodded her head in excitement.

“Whoa, she looks tiny. It’s cute!” Ibuki said.

“That’s because she’s 11 years old,” Yzma groaned.

“Hi!” Pucca said.

“You sure it’s right to put a kid into the show?” Trevor asked, with Gordon agreeing with him.

“It’s not Chris. Ibuki doubted he would go that far for a kid,” Ibuki said.

The fifth guest arrived; she has magenta-dyed hair and a pouch with several makeup and beauty products.

Diana Venicia (Project Eden’s Garden)

The camera turns on. She’s in her dorm, decorated with pink colors, and a few makeup accessories are on her table. She waved at them excitedly.

“Hiii! This is Diana Venicia from Eden’s Garden Academy! My ultimate talent is cosmetology.” Diana waved. “I’m applying to join Total Drama because it’s fun and I would love to meet my new friends!” Diana introduced.

“Oops, force of habit. Anyway, the talent I mentioned earlier. I can give the cast a new look with my products and—” Diana said before there was an interruption.

Another person walked in, revealing her roommate, who has long black hair with white tips and glasses.

“Diana? What are you doing?” Eva asked.

“Oh! I was just auditioning for Total Drama. I was very excited to join.” Diana added.

“Ah… just… good luck and don’t try to bond with everyone. It’s a Total Drama game after all. Extreme challenges. Full of back-stabbing people, might even force you to overrun the treadmill from the furnace.” Eva warned. “Not even sure if they would accept you.”

“Don’t worry, I've got a great feeling I'll get to join,” Diana assured. “And I’ll make sure to keep watch on myself!”

Her roommate stared at her for a second before yawning, clearly not buying it.

“Bweh… alright. I’ll head out to meet Damon. Good luck with whatever in that game,” Eva said.

Her roommate left the dorm. Diana faced the camera.

“So, uh, yeah, that was my roommate Eva Tsunaka. A livid fan of Total Drama… keep this a secret, though. Also, make sure to recruit me!”

She turns off the camera.

===

“Yo, Venicia! Welcome to Hawaii. Enjoying the microwave heat so far?” Majima added.

“I got mixed feelings about that… hehe… I’m excited to make new friends here!” Diana said.

“Anyway, what’s yer little pouch gonna do for this game? This ain’t no fashion show or whatsoever.” Majima questioned.

“Well… Um… show people their new look with my products. If anyone feels terrible, you may come to me and I’ll help you in no time!”

“Get that wretched thing off me. I already look fabulous.” Yzma said.

“Oh, okay,” Diana said.

“Ugh, she’s so chill and sweet for this game.” Trevor groaned. “Reminds me of the girl from the last season.” Gordon agreed with the vampire hunter.

“Close enough. Welcome back, Kaede… or the chainsaw lady.” Bugs said.

Gordon grimaced at the chainsaw mention.

“Oh, who’s that?” Diana asked.

Before they explain. The sixth guest arrived. It was a grey cat, packed with luggage and a sunhat.

Tom the Cat (Tom & Jerry)

The camera turns on, revealing an ordinary living room. A cat was wearing a necktie and had a whiteboard next to it. The cat flipped the page.

“Hello. My name is Thomas the Cat, or just call me Tom.” The page said as Tom was pointing at himself.

He flipped another page. “I am an expert at mouse hunting, I specialize in traps and such just to capture Jerry.” He pointed toward a badly drawn Jerry.

Then he flipped another page, “I wanted to join Total Drama only because my helpful scheme will carry, and I might win a million worth of fish if I win the prize.”

Before he flipped another page, a loud voice was heard.

“TOM!!! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THAT MOUSE IN MY KITCHEN!?” A loud woman's voice, presumably Mammy Two Shoes. “Get your tail in here! Go catch that mouse or else I'll catch you!”

Tom yelped and gave a salute before speeding towards the kitchen.

A loud BANG! Was heard from the kitchen, springs flying everywhere. The mouse named Jerry escaped the kitchen, followed by Tom, equipped with a frying pan. Slamming everything but Jerry.

Jerry hopped toward the table where the camera was held. He looked at the camera and waved sweetly before running again. Tom didn’t hit the mouse.

More montage of Tom breaking every piece of furniture and still missing the mouse.

“TOM! YOU BETTER NOT BE DESTROYING THAT JUKEBOX!” Mammy demanded.

Jerry went back to the camera again before Tom came in with a blow, hitting his camera instead.

===

“Welcome to Total Drama, pussycat. Miss the drama in your home over a mouse?” Majima grinned.

Tom, instead, grinned and shook his head, clearly not bothered to chase after Jerry for a moment.

“Man, how did we have a cat here of all people?” Ryder said.

“I gotta say. He lives for the chaos; who wouldn’t want to miss the chance to hire some troublemaker? Anyway, cat, go meet your new companions.” Majima said.

Tom gave him a thumbs-up. He strutted towards the group.

“WHOOOOOOOOOA, A HUGE KITTY! IBUKI WANTS TO CUDDLE!” Ibuki shouted.

“I had been transformed into a kitty before, it was gosh-dang embarrassing.” Yzma groaned.

“Okay, but this is totally unrelated, you busta.” Ryder chimed in.

Gordon and Bugs tried to get Ibuki to release Tom, who was being bear-hugged by her.

“Bashame really loves the fun,” Bashame said.

“Ibuki, give the cat some breathing space, please!” Diana begged.

“Aw, ok.” Ibuki frowned and released Tom.

“Y’all ain’t gonna believe who’s the next contestant! Introduciiiiiiiiiiiiing…”

Majima grinned at the sight of the next person who arrived and was wearing his iconic grey suit with a red shirt underneath. He was holding his bag on his shoulder.

Kazuma Kiryu (Like a Dragon)

The camera turns on, and it was set up by a girl.

“Okay, it’s on, Uncle Kaz! Just speak normally, like we practiced.” Haruka said.

The footage revealed Kiryu sitting and wearing an Okinawan outfit. He adjusted his shirt before facing the camera. Taking a deep breath.

“Hello. I am Kazuma Kiryu. I run an orphanage in Okinawa with eight children to take care of.” Kiryu continued. “I am auditioning for the 'Total Drama' program.”

“I have an intention to join this program to keep up with the orphanage's finances. Then again, Haruka said it might be the best place to connect with more people, so I’d like to give it a try without punching them into the next week.” Kiryu said.

He adjusted his posture again, trying to look less intimidating. Failed.

“And that’s it. I hope you’ll elect me to join your Total Drama.” Kiryu nodded.

Awkward silence. The audition was still recording.

“Uh… Haruka? How do you stop the recording?” he asked.

“You don’t know?” Haruka added in the background.

“I’m not too used to technology, I’d like to request for another help.” Kiryu sighed.

Haruka giggled before she stepped toward the camera to stop the recording.

===

“OHOHO! Look who it is! A very wonderful friend of mine!” He grinned at the sight of the next newcomer.

“Majima-san… Didn’t expect you, of all people, taking charge of this show.” The other man sighed.

“Well, ya gotta expect the unexpected, Kiryu-chan!” said Majima. “I admit. But where’s the fun if I don’t get to mess with Kiryu-chan again, haw?”

Kiryu stood silent.

“Nah, not like a physical fight or stuff, maybe some mental fight, yeah. Kyahahaha!” Majima laughed before stopping. “Oh, right, go meet your young friends. Make sure you don’t look intimidating.”

Kiryu walked toward the group, earning some suspicious glances from them.

“You know him?” Trevor asked.

“Mhm, guy’s complicated to be around, and we used to be rivals before things changed. Trust me, he’s not as bad as you think.” Kiryu said.

“Yeah, the good ol’ days where I ambushed ya from the sewer, trash can, wedding cake, and more. Gotta miss those, man… But I do always cherish these memories, as well as that one where my spine ended up breaking.” Majima said.

“Are you some kind of stalker?” Malina said.

“Yeah, that’s creepy as hell, yo!” Ryder chimed in.

“Ay, ay, we just fight all day, nothing too out of line on this,” Majima said.

They clearly didn’t buy it. The next contestant arrived, wearing a yellow apron and a pink headscarf, presumably a cook.

Mama (Cooking Mama)

The camera turns on, revealing a neatly organized kitchen. A woman strolls in.

“Hiii! I am Mama. I love cooking. You ready to cook some fun?” Mama said.

She pulls out a rolling pin and smiles sweetly.

“I heard about the game. Game, drama, and danger… sounds like a family dinner to me!”

She immediately brought the chopping block and vegetables, she started chopping them at lightning speed.

“Not only does Mama know how to cook! Mama can swipe the obstacle course clean and survive a possible food fight. Do you think Mama will be stopped by a drama in the kitchen? Nuh-uh. Mama never lets anything burn, unless it’s from you.”

She then got closer to the camera.

“If you dare to mess with me…” A sudden ominous thunder sound, the room darkens for a bit. Her eyes flash in a fire.

“Haha! I was kidding! I’m not pulling that. Mama only cooks. Not murder. Mama is all about teamwork and will do her best to help everyone. I hope you pick me!”

She bowed with a smile before turning off the camera.

===

“Hey, Mama! Welcome to your new age of cooking. I hope your food comes in tasty compared to Chef.” Majima said.

“Aw, thank you! I’m excited to learn about Hawaiian dishes and maybe the game as well.” Mama said.

“Wait. Your name’s just ‘Mama’?” Diana asked.

“Of course! That’s what everyone calls me since I started cooking.” Mama replied.

“Still better than that discount Cruella’s name,” Malina said.

“Must you disrespect me again?” Yzma said.

Gordon sighed.

“Can you cook rice for Bashame?” Bashame demanded.

“Sure thing! I even packed those food ingredients.” Mama pulled her luggage.

She opened it and literally everything related to cooking was stored inside, and some spare identical clothes.

“Chef’s food sucked last time. I hope you do better than him, ma.” Trevor added.

“Sure, just point me to the kitchen!” Mama said.

“Now hold up, lads. We still have four more to introduce.” Majima said.

The next guest left the boat, it was a figure wearing a mask and an expensive red suit.

Spy (Team Fortress 2)

The camera turns on, revealing the study room. The chair spun around to reveal a red-masked mercenary.

“Bonjour. I am ze Spy.” Spy introduced. “That’s all you need to know.”

He lit his cigarette.

“I have invaded plenty of bases, stolen intelligence, sabotaged sentries, and made the BLU team cry. So, when I hear this Total Drama… I said: Why not?”

He pulled his butterfly knife, playing with it like it was a toy before stopping.

“You want lies? Drama? Backstab? I’m ten steps ahead of you with all of my gadgets. Lemme ask you. Do you believe you can eliminate me?

He goes invisible for a second before a decloak sound is heard in the background, and he flips the camera.

”The moment you mess with me, consider yourself packing home. I will always be right behind you.”

He shut the recording.

===

“Welcome to the game, whatever your name was,” Majima said. “Ya clearly hid your identity very well compared to him .”

Kiryu sighed as he knew who Majima was referring to.

“Merci. Majima. That was an odd fashion for a pirate.” Spy added.

“I mean, ya arrived with such fashion. Ya sure you wouldn’t be concerned about yer fancy suit getting muddy?” Majima countered. “Sure, it might suck but it will happen soon.”

The spy sighed and headed towards the group.

“Salutations, ladies and gentlemen. I do hope we will get along very well.” Spy said.

“Sounds like a fine gentleman. I’m Diana!” Diana introduced.

“Do you go to infiltrate the base? Or even pull some James Bond? Ibuki finds it cool that she gets to meet the actual spy!” Ibuki said.

“I am not obliged to tell you about my mission detail, mon cher,” Spy added, giving Ibuki a frown.

“Real sketchy over there,” J added.

“Eh, at least we came on the same term,” Bugs followed.

“We’re not buddies-buddies.” J scoffed.

The next camper arrived; he had purple-dyed hair and was wearing a green jumpsuit with the number ‘230’ written on it.

Thanos (Squid Game)

The camera turned on, he showed a smug grin before backing a little to get a clear view.

“What’s up, losers?! It’s Thanos, the great rapper of existence.” Thanos said. “This ain’t the Thanos with a fancy gold fist.”

He showed off his colored fingernail, similar to the infinity stones.

“Hmph. I’ve played a life and death situation before, what could be worse here? Children backstabbing people for money? Yeah, ain’t the first time that happened!”

He mumbled some random rap lyrics about Total Drama before focusing back.

“So, remember to vote for me, maybe you’d get some exclusive music from me! See you soon, Thanos out!” Thanos said with a wink.

He stopped the recording.

===

“Thanos the Great, eh? Welcome, dude. I hope your music will gain your fans, I guess.” Majima scratched his head.

Thanos proceeded to drop some corny rap lyrics relating to Hawaii.

“Man, what the hell was he on? Drugs?” Ryder said.

“Kinda funny that he was known for drug usage.” Bugs chimed in before realizing. “Eh, I was kidding. Ha.”

They all side-eyed him but said nothing more when Thanos approached the group.

“What’s up, it’s Thanos, the greatest rapper,” Thanos said.

“I didn’t know he would morph from a space creature to an annoying human who just discovered swearing,” Malina chimed in.

“Hey, you’re funny over there, lady! What’s your name?” Thanos said. “🎵 Yo, girl in the suit with the horns on fleek, You slayin’ so hard, you got me feelin’ weak. 🎵”

Everyone just blinked at his pickup lines, while Malina looked like she could turn him into mincemeat right now.

“Hey, it’s best for you if you distance yourself from her. She doesn’t seem to enjoy your company,” Kiryu said.

“Well, sucks. That blows my dang chance.” Thanos pouted.

The next quest arrived, revealing a young man with brown spiky hair, carrying a guitar case.

Heisuke Mashimo (Sakamoto Days)

The camera turned on, the man was sitting on a cardboard mat with a broken tent behind him, probably staying on the rooftop. He has a yellow parrot flying onto his shoulder.

“Ah! Let’s go! It took me sweet 20 minutes to get this thing working. Yo, guys, I am Heisuke Mashimo! And this is my pet, Piisuke. Unfortunately, the bird won’t be joining me, so he’s in the care of Sakamoto.” Heisuke said.

“I request to apply for Total Drama! I may be a scrawny guy when I dig under every vending machine for spare change. My marksmanship skills are no joke, despite being a low-ranking former assassin. My bullet could fly anywhere to get you.”

He tried to think of more stuff to say for his auditions.

“Ah, yeah, I work at Sakamoto’s shop, and stuff was chaotic there. Did you know that Sakamoto was—”

The strong gust of wind came in, pushing his tent away and his camera.

“Whoa, okay, that was new,” Heisuke added.

And the camera wobbles on the edge and tips forward.

“WAIT—NO, NO, NOO, NOOOO!” Heisuke yelled.

The camera fell off the edge and broke into pieces when it hit the ground.

===

“Heisuke Mashimo is it?” Majima said.

“Yup! That’s me. I can’t believe I got to join this game.” Heisuke said. “My name—”

“Alright, save yer introduction for them. We’re waiting for the last person to arrive.” Majima cut him off.

“Okay, cool!” Heisuke said before heading toward the group.

“Yooo, Ibuki spots another musical instrument! Are you into music?” Ibuki pointed at the guitar case on Heisuke’s back.

“Huh… Oh, yeah! I am into music.” Heisuke added.

“Great! Ibuki’s excited to hear your music!” Ibuki said.

“Haha… Right!” Heisuke nervously said.

He’s absolutely not telling everyone that he was carrying a sniper rifle hidden inside his case in this game.

“This is taking forever, my feet are killing me!” Yzma groaned.

“What kind of moron doesn’t know what sitting is?” Trevor said.

“I understood that reference.” Said Bugs, Bashame, J, and Malina in unison, even Gordon, who just nodded.

“Which reference?” Mama asked.

The final guest arrived. She was wearing a kimono, notably purple. Although the hem is much shorter compared to the traditional kimono. 

Maya Fey (Ace Attorney)

The camera turns on. It was some kind of office, revealing the girl in her iconic outfit that’s out of place in an office.

“Hi! It’s me! Maya Fey, the spirit medium-in-training and co-associate of Phoenix Wright!” Maya said. “I’ve faced ghosts, courtroom drama, and more burger cravings. I’m more than ready for whatever you guys throw at me.”

“Plus. If anyone was acting suspicious? I’ll begin channeling their dead relative and will ask them if they did something malicious.” Maya grinned.

A man called her out, presumably Phoenix Wright. “Maya. Did you get into another murder case again? The police are going to take you into custody because they believe you’re the prime suspect.”

“That yakisoba stand murder from two blocks away? I was there for lunch! Not kill!” Maya pouted.

“Yeah, the witness said you were the last person that the owner saw before his death. They’re taking you away now.” He sighed. “I think it’s time for me to clear your name, again.”

“I-uhm, I’ll BE THERE, NICK!” She replied in a panicked tone, but faced the camera again. “Uh, yeah, that was awkward, but don’t forget to pick me!”

She left to whatever happened in the office.

===

“At last! Our final camper. Maya Fey.” Majima said.

“Hello! I hope we will get along with each other.” Maya said.

“Same, I’m looking forward to that as well,” Diana said.

“Two overly sweet girls are on the island now, how great,” Yzma deadpanned. Pucca and Tom were giggling in the background.

“Can you really channel the dead?” J asked.

“Sure! Who do you want in mind?” Maya said.

Silence.

“Just not now…” J said.

“I get that feelin’, doc.” Bugs said.

“Alright, scallywags. It looks like we have everyone present, waiting to be sentenced to walk the plank!” Majima clapped. “So, any of ya ready for the island tour? Not that I’m in charge, let Chef handle that.”

The chef appeared.

“Hi, Chef!” Maya greeted.

“Whoa, Ibuki thinks that dude is BIG scary!” Ibuki said. “Bashame would agree!”

And Bashame agreed through a nod.

“You already saw him in the last season, why do you not remember?” Malina said.

“The chef’s still here? Man, we’re going to suffer from his terrible food again,” Trevor groaned.

“That bad, huh?” Spy said.

“Hey! What did I tell you about my’ cooking? I serve ya every day, and this is how you repay me? Save me some yap.” Chef growled.

“Man, you oughta scare that mama with yo terrible ass culinary skill, she would die from heart attack,” Ryder replied.

The chef's eye twitched before giving a sigh, commanding everyone to follow him for their little tour.

Cut to the montage, where their three lodges, elimination ceremony, dining hall, bathroom, and more, were shown to the campers. Some of them were dying of boredom, and some of them were glued to his tour education.

They returned to the camp with Majima drinking his coconut cocktail.

“Oh, yer done? That was surprisingly fast. Ya sure ya didn’t rush ‘em?” Majima asked.

“I’ve done with everything I can. Also, dang, this weather sucked.” The chef complained.

“That’s Hawaii for ya, lad.” Majima grinned. “Anyway, as you can see, there are three lodges present. Any guesses why? Let’s just cut to the point, and this game starts with three teams of six.”

“Isn’t this size too small for a single team?” Heisuke asked.

“Yeah, yeah, but the previous mainline season has seven members per team; having six wouldn’t be a problem as long as you don’t complain about it,” Majima said.

Pretty sure nobody dared to object to him.

“Anywayyyyy… Chef! Bring those banners!” Majima shouted.

The chef came in, carrying three colored banners in his arms. Grey, Blue, and Pink.

“If I call your names, move your butts over there!” Majima said. “Gordon, J, Tom, Diana, Heisuke, and Yzma! You guys will be the Salty Squids.”

The six gathered, and Majima tossed the grey banner into them. They revealed a squid logo.

“Oh, wow. I always wanted to try eating a jellyfish.” Heisuke added.

“Sounds gross,” J said.

“Tell that to a person who drinks oil daily,” Yzma replied.

“Can you guys not?” Diana pleaded.

Tom and Gordon just nodded at their team.

“Bugs, Malina, Thanos, Mama, Spy, and Maya! You guys will be the Brawling Barracudas!” 

He tossed a blue banner towards them. Spy opened it, revealing a logo of Barracuda.

“Ooh, Mama thinks this sounds cool,” Mama said.

“Could be better, but I wouldn’t complain regardless,” Bugs replied.

“At least this looks banger compared to that stupid squid, I don’t like squid after a certain event,” Thanos said.

“Hmmph, indeed.” Spy responded.

“Whatever. Anything works better than that stupid Gators name.” Malina growled.

“Yeah, go barracudas!” Maya shouted.

“And finally! Trevor, Bashame, Kiryu, Pucca, Ryder, and Ibuki! You guys will be the Jellyfish Jokers!”

He tossed a pink banner towards them. Kiryu rolled it open to reveal a logo of jellyfish.

“Never mind what I said about the squids. The jellyfish had it worse.” Thanos said.

“Heyyyyy, Ibuki thinks this is neat already!” Ibuki said, earning a nod from Pucca.

“It looks fine,” Kiryu murmured.

“Man, where’s the ‘fine’ part of that jellyfish? You're gonna sting—” Trevor punched Ryder’s shoulder to shut him up.

“Mmm, when will Chef serve rice?” Bashame asked.

“Never,” Trevor responded.

“Okay, enjoy the name or nah? Whatever, just throw yer belonging in your respective lodge and get some good shut-eye for a night.” Majima said.

“The sun’s still up.” Bugs said.

“I knoooooow, but who likes napping? Now would be a good time to do so before your first challenge if you were lazy enough to bond with someone to find an excuse not to walk the plank first.” Majima responded. “And, one more thing.”

(CONFESSIONAL) MAJIMA:

“Ya get the point, lass! Spill some ‘dark’ secret or a truth bomb inside this cramped space, make sure nobody else, except the audience, hears this outside the booth!”

XXX

(CONFESSIONAL) J:

“Well, I have failed the company last time, this will be the best time for my redemption.”

XXX

(CONFESSIONAL) BUGS:

“What’s up, doc? Bullying the same victim might sound boring, but if that's what you guys wanted, so be it.” He chewed on his carrot.

XXX

(CONFESSIONAL) GORDON:

He was throwing hand gestures to the camera, and of course, nobody understood what he was implying.

XXX

(CONFESSIONAL) MALINA:

“Honestly, I don’t like any of these newbies. Where did that eyepatch guy find those people from? At least there were a few cool guys.”

XXX

(CONFESSIONAL) TREVOR:

“New day, huh? I have learnt my lesson not to reveal my plan ‘in secret’ this time, not with J around, including the new people.”

XXX

(CONFESSIONAL) BASHAME:

“Bashame will try her best for her second chance—” She then fell asleep in the booth.

XXX

(CONFESSIONAL) THANOS:

“Thanos on the beat, yo! I’m about to wipe these people so they won’t get in my way to win the money,” he did the snap and forgot he doesn’t actually own a gauntlet. “Whoops.”

XXX

(CONFESSIONAL) MAMA:

“Mama’s here to cook for everyone’s love!”

XXX

(CONFESSIONAL) IBUKI:

“YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Who’s ready for the newest Ibuki’s performance?!”

XXX

(CONFESSIONAL) KIRYU:

“I do hope Majima knows that he should not make the challenges really extreme compared to the former host. A literal child is competing.”

XXX

(CONFESSIONAL) YZMA:

“For my first plan of this show. I’ll scout through the island, then figure out the best place to turn into my super secret lab. I hope this information doesn’t get leaked to the other campers.”

XXX

(CONFESSIONAL) PUCCA:

She was mostly drawing in the booth with a marker.

XXX

(CONFESSIONAL) HEISUKE:

“Man, I feel nervous around here. Let’s hope I don’t get in the mess, hopefully, that should be enough for me to win, right? It’s kind of empty here without Piisuke.”

XXX

(CONFESSIONAL) SPY:

Considering the crowd. This sounds like a piece of cake. I’ll handle this game solo.”

XXX

(CONFESSIONAL) DIANA:

“It’s so packed with unique people here! Do you think Eva’s right about not trusting people…?”

XXX

(CONFESSIONAL) MAYA:

“I might have busted my chance of joining Total Drama. But Nick already cleared my name, and I’m good enough to sit right here. Thank you, Nick! I might bring Total Drama merch for you when I return home.”

XXX

(CONFESSIONAL) RYDER:

“They’re all some busta in my eyes. I gotta keep watch.”

XXX

(CONFESSIONAL) TOM:

He was mostly pumping his fist, showing his nonexistent muscles. He feels confident that he will win.

Everyone had left for their lodge.

“Alright, alright! We’re taking the break now. Do whatever you want before the challenge.” Majima said. “Roll the commercials! And see you again on the next part of Total Drama: Campers in Hawaii! Heave-ho!”

The host left the scene, only to return to face the camera one last time.

“Might as well remind ya to take the bathroom break before the commercials end,” Majima said.

He flashed a smile with a wink before the screen faded into commercials.

[TO BE CONTINUED]

REMAINING CAMPERS

The Salty Squids: Diana Venicia - Gordon Freeman - Heisuke Mashimo - Serial Designation J - Tom - Yzma

The Brawling Barracudas: Bugs Bunny - Malina - Mama - Maya Fey - Spy - Thanos

The Jellyfish Jokers: Ibuki Mioda - Kazuma Kiryu - Meme Bashame - Pucca - Ryder - Trevor Belmont

Chapter Text

“Last time on Total Drama: Campers in Hawaii! There isn’t much to recap, as it was an introductory chapter. Six veterans were shipped onto the island, Madagascar-style, and they didn’t take their arrival too kindly. They were greeted by twelve unfamiliar faces, also known as the newcomers of this fun season. Three teams have been formed instead of the usual two. Thus, the Salty Squids, Brawling Barracudas, and Jellyfish Jokers were created. Who will be the first team to lose and send their victim to walk the plank? You will find out on this episode of Total Drama! Campers in Hawaii!”

[INTRO]

The campers were entering their lodge for the first time. Compared to last season, it was polished clean, had no broken walls, floors, etc., and was much bigger for the group to stay. They had a sofa, a TV, an actual comfortable bed, a shower, and more. There were still two sides for separate genders, though.

Salty Squids' side.

“It feels… like heaven here!” Heisuke gasped.

“Or a sanctuary!” Diana followed.

“Do you ever sleep in your bed?” Yzma questioned them.

“Well, noooo, I only slept in sleeping bags when I was living in my tent with Piisuke,” Heisuke laughed.

“It’s oddly nice here compared to the cabin in Wawanakwa,” J said. “Then again, I don’t trust Majima; he’s probably out there to blow up the lodge for content.”

Gordon agreed that the cabin looked better, but disagreed with her last statement.

“Aw, maybe he has a change of heart? I heard he had gone soft nowadays.” Diana said.

“You’re too trusting of him, not to mention that he was an ex-yakuza,” J groaned.

Tom clapped his hands and stretched one of his hands out.

“What is he doing?” Heisuke asked.

“Oh, he’s asking for our handshake! I’m Diana Venicia, an ultimate cosmetologist. What a unique cat you are! I’ve never seen a single cat standing on two feet.” Diana introduced.

She shook his hands before it was Gordon’s turn.

“Another ultimate talent? Did you enroll in Hope’s Peak?” J asked.

“Um… I never heard anything about Hope’s Peak.” Diana responded.

“I didn’t properly introduce myself earlier since I was getting cut off. I’m Heisuke Mashimo! I am… Uh. A musician, also a delivery man at a store!” Heisuke said with a grin.

“Cool. Yzma. I hope you don’t dwell on my hobbies,” Yzma said.

And Tom just wrote his name on the whiteboard, followed by Gordon.

“Two silent people in our team, that sounds concerning,” J added.

Tom faced her with a raised eyebrow, while Gordon just shrugged in acceptance.

“Anyway, I’m Serial Designation J. Or just J is fine,” J said.

“What does a robot like you do in your life?” Heisuke asked.

“Disassembling.” J gave him a vague answer.

“Uh… am I supposed to worry about that?” Heisuke said.

“I’m sure she’s disassembling junk, right?” Diana added, earning an ‘OOOH’ from Heisuke.

Gordon didn’t bother to tell them about what J actually does.

“So you play guitar, right? Maybe some music would be nice for this atmosphere.” Diana suggested.

“Well, uh, later.” Heisuke laughed. “I wanna know about this island more.”

(CONFESSIONAL) YZMA:

“This guy screams, ‘I’m not a musician.’ Would I really care to find out, though? Nah.”

(CONFESSIONAL) DIANA:

“Heisuke sounds like a fun guy to hang out with. I can’t wait to see what kind of music he’ll be playing.”

Brawling Barracuda's side.

“This is a suspiciously comfy place to live in.” Bugs said. “Where are the loose floorboards? Torn wall? And a few stinky roaches?”

“I agree. This is odd for a crazy maniac.” Spy added.

As Spy was about to move toward his room. Thanos interrupted.

“Woo! This bed’s mine, yo!” Thanos said in excitement.

Thanos immediately hogged the huge bed by jumping onto it.

“Oh, come on. This kid… I was going for that one.” Spy groaned.

“Too late, Mr. Cold and Mysterious Guy. First come, first serve, baby!” Thanos taunted.

“Well, it’s getting dirtier now because of your dirt tracks.” Malina scoffed.

“Thanos is clean. I dunno what the frick are you talking about,” He shrugged back.

“He’s having fun, let’s leave him be,” Mama said.

“Mon Dieu, this guy will be a nuisance as a roommate.” Spy sighed.

“Hi! I’m Maya! How’s your day?” Maya said. “And… who are you?”

“You don’t know Thanos? That’s a shame.” Thanos yawned.

“Malina,” Malina said, getting to the point. “Is your name literally just ‘Mama’?” She was asking the home cook.

“Of course, I am Mama. They found it iconic enough.” She clapped.

“And I’m Bugs Bunny, I figured y’all know the name if you watched the last season,” Bugs said.

“Spy. That’s all.” Spy replied.

“Whaaaat? That’s your name? Pretty cool and original for a mole like you,” Malina said sarcastically.

“I mean, we have a guy named after a famous comic villain, plus, I believe Spy sounds way cooler!” Maya said.

“And I love it!” Thanos replied.

“Why, thank you, my friend.” Spy thanked her.

“I heard you are a spirit medium!” Mama said. “Mind if you show us your power?”

“Yeah, but do you have any dead relatives in mind?” Maya scratched her neck.

Silence.

“I dunno if channeling a spirit will help us anyway, I’ll pass.” Bugs said.

“Anyway,” Thanos said, hopping off his bed. “How’s everyone's day? Good?”

He clung his arm onto the demon’s shoulder, and the demon smacked his arm away.

“We’re not friends,” Malina grunted.

“Yo, you did not just do that, log girl.” Thanos quipped.

“Log?” Mama asked.

“Ah, it was a reference to when she pushed down a giant log and sabotaged her team in the last season; she was the first boot, haha. Man, imagine trying to be the hero and it backfired immediately,” Thanos laughed.

“Ooh! I remember that! It was funny… and cruel…” Mama side-eyed her.

“Exactly.” Spy snorted.

“I mean, nobody died. It’s fine to joke around, right?” Maya said.

The demon’s eye twitched in frustration until she felt a touch on her shoulder.

“Y’know, doc. I get ya being angry and stuff, but I don’t want you to wreck this nice and comfy lodge.” Bugs added.

“Oui. I would not have my first vacation here being wasted by an angered devil,” Spy joined in.

“Yeah, let’s forget about him for now! Mama will cook her meal for you if you want.” Mama said.

The sour demon sighed and let Thanos, who shot back with a wink, off the hook for now.

(CONFESSIONAL) MALINA:

“I should’ve taken control of my attitude, but I was born with that title in the underworld.”

Jellyfish Jokers’ side.

“Whoa!!! It already looked a hundred percent better than Jabberwock Island!” Ibuki cried.

“I could get used to this lodge,” Kiryu said.

“Aw, yeah, miss this crap, man!” Ryder chimed in.

“We’re all roommates, huh? I’m Trevor.” Trevor said.

“Hello! It’s me! I-bu-ki Mi-O-da! You get Ibuki Mioda! Ibuki plays music!” Ibuki introduced.

“You could’ve just said your name. We’re not in the spelling bee.” Trevor deadpanned.

This earns a giggle from Pucca and Bashame, although Bashame feels more tired.

“Erm… Ibuki wanna make her introduction… extra crispy?” Ibuki said, twiddling her fingers. “YEAH! You heard that!”

“Pucca,” Pucca said.

“Owie!!! That’s a cute name!” Ibuki said, followed by Pucca giggling. “What about you, gorilla?”

“Gorilla…?” Kiryu was confused.

“Duh! Ibuki thinks you were built like one,” Ibuki grinned. “Ibuki hopes she doesn’t offend you…”

“I don’t mind really. I’m Kiryu, I run an orphanage.” Kiryu said.

“I’m Ryder from Grove Street, homie,” Ryder said. “Living as a gangster, brother.”

“The hell is a gangster?” Trevor asked.

“Those types of groups who are into violence,” Kiryu replied. “Like him.”

“Oh. Just say ruffians,” Trevor huffed. “I’ve faced those guys before, like those gangster guys, big nuisance and wasted.”

“Ay, Busta. Don’t screw with those Grove Street, you outta get whipped.” Ryder said.

“Funny. I could do that with my actual whip,” Trevor said.

“We don’t need unnecessary conflict,” Kiryu sighed.

“Man, whatever.” Ryder sighed.

Snore.

“What was that?” Kiryu asked.

They looked at Bashame, who fell asleep on the floorboard.

“Ayo, who’s this again?” Ryder asked.

“Ah, that’s… Bashame. From the last season as well. I’m not gonna be surprised if her narcolepsy booted her out of the game again.” Trevor pinched the bridge of his nose. “And she’s our teammate, consider us screwed in the first challenge.”

“Mmmmph…” Bashame’s voice was muffled.

“We can’t leave her like this. Someone get her on the bed.” Kiryu sighed.

“Yay, teamwork!” Ibuki said.

They lifted the girl’s body to place her on a bed.

(CONFESSIONAL) KIRYU:

“This team seems decent so far. Nothing could go wrong besides the girl who suffered from narcolepsy.”

(CONFESSIONAL) RYDER:

“Busta. Real full of Busta.”

===

Sometime later, every camper gathered at the clean and polished dining hall. And the food still sucked.

“Dig in, maggots!” The chef yelled.

“See? What did I tell you? It’s still the same slop.” Trevor groaned.

“It’s protein, be happy with it,” Chef grumbled.

“Mama won’t be too happy with this,” Yzma said, gesturing at Mama having a heart attack.

“Heisuke… are you unironically eating this?” Diana asked.

“Mmmm? Yeah, I was hungry anyway.” Heisuke laughed, earning disgust from the other.

“Bashame misses rice…” Bashame said.

“I thought you ate that.” Bugs said.

“Bashame feels empty without Shaggy.” She replied.

The door was kicked open, revealing Majima.

“Yo, good morning, sunrise snackers! Did ya enjoy the new home?” Majima asked the campers, earning nods from everyone.

“I gotta admit. I didn’t think you’d be nice enough to give us a nice lodge besides Chris’ cabin.” Trevor said.

“Yah! Bashame can finally sleep comfortably on the floor now!” Bashame replied, earning a side eye from others.

“Anyway, what about yer breakfast? Enjoying the feast? Constructive criticism is very welcome. Very .” Majima asked the campers.

It was a full minute of silence until Ryder spoke up.

“Lodge’s good. But the food sucked ass, homie.” Ryder complained.

Several campers gulped when Ryder spoke up about the food.

“Haw?” Majima asked.

“Like, ain’t no dog is gonna eat this crap. It’s like a piss and cement were combined into a gourmet meal.” Ryder complained.

“Okay, lemme see…” Majima said.

He inspected their ‘meal’ and immediately approached the kitchen to confront Chef Hatchet.

“YOO-HOO! CHEEEEF! We've got a serious problem here!” Majima said.

“Majima?” Chef asked in curiosity.

Majima dropped the slop in front of him.

“What in the flaming hell is this?! Ya calling this slop a breakfast?!” Majima shouted.

“It’s protein.” Chef deadpanned.

“PROTEIN?! Tell me which part of this iron slab is made of protein?! Even that crap was fighting against the jumpsuit fellow.”

He gestured toward the living slop crawling on Thanos’ face.

“GET THIS THING OFF ME!” Thanos yelled.

“Like, yer feeding them some chemical waste. Are ya trying to create a mutant here?” Majima said.

“At least there was an egg. Probably. And meat that is a little expired.” The chef replied.

“Do ya think people, even Kiryu-chan, will eat this slop and say ‘thank you’? Man, how the hell are you even qualified as a chef?” Majima groaned.

“Well, this is my kitchen. I serve whatever I want.” Chef hissed.

Just then, Majima slammed on the counter, surprising everyone.

“And this is my show,” Majima said in a malicious tone. “If you refuse to oblige my dang order. You will say bye-bye to your pinky, and I might serve it as your next breakfast. The food would be a chef’s kiss.”

This made the Chef gulp in fear and start making better meals under Majima’s command. Several campers saw the event.

“Alright, perfectly healthy breakfast coming right up!” The chef was sweating.

(CONFESSIONAL) TREVOR:

“Guess he finally got what he deserved after many days of serving trash, maybe this guy isn’t so bad after all.”

(CONFESSIONAL) DIANA:

“Rule number one: just don’t provoke the host.”

(CONFESSIONAL) KIRYU:

“You don’t have to worry about him. He wouldn’t do that. Hopefully.”

(CONFESSIONAL) IBUKI:

“Can the big, scary pirate dude just kick the Chef out and put Mama on cook duty instead?”

(CONFESSIONAL) MAMA:

“That man disrespected cooking and his guests? He got what’s coming to him. I’m not going to eat his pinky.”

“See? Constructive criticism is welcome.” Majima grinned. “Anyway, ya don’t have to rush your breakfast, the first challenge will take place in the afternoon.”

He bowed before leaving the dining hall. Thanos was still trying to get that strange creature off his face.

“Erm…” Pucca pointed out.

“Should we help him?” Mama said.

“No. Let him be.” Spy said.

At least a few of them are trying to help him.

===

The loudspeaker rang.

“Get off yer sack and start dressing up your swimwear and head to the beach immediately, islanders! That’s where your first challenge takes place, and it’s starting in a short time. DON’T WORRY! IT’S NOT ONE OF THOSE ONE-THOUSAND-FOOT CLIFF DROPS!”

“Guess that’s our cue for our first actual disaster,” Trevor shrugged.

“Shouldn’t we all be scared?” Heisuke added.

“If you were that scared, why bother joining?” Spy sighed.

“Cha-ching!” Pucca mimicked a sound when someone received cash.

“Well, the little toots thinks it’s a treasure hunt, but we’ll see…” Bugs said.

They left for the beach.

(CONFESSIONAL) BUGS:

“None of these challenges that crazy pirate guy came up with won’t hurt me. Unless a giant Roomba was involved again.”

Every camper gathered at the beach wearing their swimsuits. They could see some rafts and buoys in the ocean.

“You? In a swimsuit, doc? I thought robot hates water.” Bugs asked J.

“The JcJenson company configured my model to be waterproof now,” J replied.

The bunny shrugged and ate his carrot. “You ever swum before?”

The drone casually ignored him, earning his answer.

“Where is Majima?” Yzma asked impatiently.

Majima arrived at the scene, wearing his pirate costume.

“Ahoy, campers! Ready for yer first contest?!” Majima shouted.

“What’s with that stupid suit?” Thanos said.

“Oi, don’t diss my fancy suit. I’ve been wearing this since I became the pirate ship captain.” Majima replied.

“Whatever, what do we do?” Spy asked.

“Simple. Ya just hop on a rowboat and paddle your way to three buoys. Each buoy contains a chest you need to pick up underwater, but first, you will have to undo a few of the tight knots before grabbing your chest.” Majima said. “After you get all three chests, you will paddle your way to that raft and find a way to unlock the chest.”

He pointed at the huge raft with several lifebuoys floating.

“Once you find yer way to open the chest, ya get a few rings inside and will have to toss the ring onto six bottles floating with a lifesaver. Each member must throw and have their rings hit the bottles. Once you have done all of that. Row back to the shore, and every member must do a high-five with me to finish your challenge.” He raised his hand.

“Why high-five?” Kiryu asked.

“Well, it’s to show how you rocked these simple challenges, Kiryu-chan.” Majima grinned. “Maybe I’ll spare some insult unless your team loses.”

“Oh, so it’s a carnival game at the end! Ibuki can do it!” Ibuki said.

“Almost. Don’t think a carnival game would involve drowning yourself to retrieve a heavy chest.” Malina said.

Tom and Gordon looked around to notice something was missing. Gordon pointed out there was no boat or oar.

“Ah, erm, I was about to get that part,” Majima rubbed his neck. “OI! WHERE’S THE BOATS?!”

Later. Two overly sweating, muscular interns were seen carrying three rowboats. One had tall, flattop blonde hair, wearing a red shirt and khaki pants, and the other one was shirtless and wore cargo pants. 

“Paul, I swear to God, stop moving around! You’re trying to get us fired!” One of the interns shouted.

“Hey! You’re the one who screwed around, Law!” The other intern named Paul, yelled back. “You’re gonna get my toe crushed if we drop this!”

Pucca mostly giggled at the sight of two interns struggling to hold three rowboats at once.

“C’mon, we were this close!” Law shouted.

“Heave-ho!” Paul and Law yelled in unison before tossing the boats in front of them.

“Whoa, careful! That could’ve killed us!” Mama complained.

“It’s here, Captain.” Law patted those rowboats in exhaustion.

“Ya seriously could’ve brought them here one by one, no full sweating or anything if ya did that,” Majima said. “Though I’m impressed as hell you brought three at once, and not a single crash was heard.”

“Ha, it’s all the muscle, buddy!” Paul said.

“Ight, you may go finish your toilet duty now for extra pay,” Majima commanded.

Paul and Law groaned and left for the bathroom duty.

“Do you think he’s gonna find out we accidentally broke his quarter’s window while carrying the boats?” Paul whispered to Law.

“Man, come on, there’s no way he would figure out it was us!” Law replied not so quietly.

“Y’all gossiping about stuff? I wanna crash in and see what you were discussing.” Majima asked in curiosity.

“NOPE!” Both interns said in unison, feeling panicked.

The two walked away, and both sighed in relief simultaneously when Majima heard nothing.

“Anyway, here’s yer rowboat and paddling pads,” Majima said. “Move your boat to the starting point and paddle when I fire this flintlock.”

They prepared their setup. Everyone sat on their respective boat.

“Alright. The first team wins invincibility and the reward . The second victor doesn’t get a reward, but an invincibility should satisfy their needs. And finally, the last one to finish will have to exile one of their crews tonight!” Majima announced. “READDDDDDDDDDDY?”

They raised their paddle.

“Huh, wait… did I forget something… hmm…” He put his hand on his chin, trying to remember something.

“Meh, nothing.” He was ready to fire his gun again. “READDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDY?”

They—

“WAIT! One more thing, fellas!” Majima finally remembered now. “Watch out for those sharks.”

Several contestants gasped while the veteran wasn’t surprised. Tom was shivering the most.

“Sharks?!” Diana gasped.

“Of course, you need them.” Malina groaned.

“Aw, man. Why?” Ryder asked. “This is just some full disrespect, man.”

“Nah. We just brought them here for extra measurements. Where’s the fun if no wild sharks are ambushing ya?” Majima said.

Silence. Several contestants were shaking in fear, while some of them weren’t fazed.

“Dude, come on! This is the Total Drama we’re talking about. Also, these sharks ain’t the same as the ones you saw in Canada.” Majima sighed. “Yer can probably throw a single punch, which will drive them away. Just ask Kiryu-chan to see if I was shit-talking my claims.”

“That’s not how it works.” Kiryu sighed.

“So he’s Chris 2.0 but more insane. Got it.” Yzma said.

(CONFESSIONAL) SPY:

“Merde. Now I’m not going to volunteer to dive.”

“Campers, ready?! ROW!” Majima shouted as he fired his flintlock.

The campers begin to row their boat, the barracudas leading, followed by the squids, and the jellyfish last.

“Come on, boys and girls. We’re leading this game!” Thanos said as he was rowing the boat.

“More rowing, less talking,” Malina growled.

“ROW, ROOOOOW!” Ibuki yelled.

“Stop shouting like a fool,” Ryder chimed in. “We’re losing our damn focus.”

“We’re dead last,” Trevor added.

“Don’t keep up with the yapping, Busta,” Ryder said. “Ain’t no fool wastin’ time like this!”

“I think I see the problem,” Kiryu sighed as he watched Bashame and Pucca.

“Huh? Bashame’s not asleep!” Bashame tried to defend herself, but she looked tired.

“Oooh, she’s gone.” Trevor sighed.

“Nooo…” Bashame replied lazily.

“Yo, no offense, fool. How’s a little chick over here gonna help? She ain’t pulling that weight to hold an oar,” Ryder pointed toward Pucca.

“Nuh-uh,” Pucca intervened.

She began rowing faster thanks to her weird superhuman strength.

“OOOOI, what the freak?” Ibuki shouted.

“Quick, we gotta catch up with the other teams,” Kiryu commanded.

The jellyfish's boat was noticeably faster now and rowed past them.

“Huh?! How did that happen?” Diana gasped.

“They got some stupid hidden power or something.” J hissed.

“Oh, come on! It’s nothing to worry about, we’re still far from over!” Heisuke tried to hype his team.

“Then I suggest you zip your mouth and keep paddling,” Yzma hissed.

Gordon just shook his head at her sudden rudeness. Tom was pointing them to the buoy.

“Oh, nice going, cat!” Heisuke said.

“COME OOOOOOOOOOON, how are we last?!” Maya pouted.

“Mon Dieu, stop shouting nonsense, they’re not done with the challenge yet.” The spy sighed.

The Jellyfish was the first one to arrive at their first buoy, all thanks to Pucca's ridiculous strength.

“Who’s undoing the first knot?” Kiryu asked.

“ME, ME, ME!” Ibuki raised her hands in anticipation.

“Okay, girl. You do that.” Ryder said.

Ibuki took the first dive. The Squids' boat arrived at their first buoy.

“You know, you’re not doing bad with your sleeping teammate, and a little girl.” Heisuke complimented the jellyfish.

Pucca just giggled. Ibuki rose to the surface, tagging Trevor after she finished her first knot.

“Who’s up?” J asked.

Gordon raised his hand to volunteer and dived. Trevor later resurfaced after undoing the second knot. It was Ryder’s turn.

“Hah, those knots aren’t even a problem to begin with.” Trevor snorted.

The barracudas finally arrived. Bugs was the first one to dive.

“Do we feel like… we’re forgetting something?” Heisuke asked his teammates.

Silence.

“What’s taking him so long?” J groaned.

Tom took a peek inside the water, and his eyes became wide. He removed himself from underwater and screamed.

“What is it, Tom?!” Diana asked.

He pointed at the water, causing Diana to peek. She saw Gordon somehow get his leg tied with the rope.

“Gordon is in trouble! He needs our help!” Diana said in a panicked tone.

“Wait. Did we encounter a shark already?!” Heisuke gasped.

“No! He was trapped underwater!” Diana said.

“Dude, how the—UGHHHH—” J groaned.

“WAIT! I’m coming!” Heisuke dived.

(CONFESSIONAL) GORDON:

He does a lot of motions, showing how he got himself tied underwater, and nobody could deduce what he was trying to say.

Later, Gordon resurfaced, coughing for fresh air after being stuck for who knows how long. The totally-not-a-hitman-guy returned with a chest and tossed it into their boat with no warning.

“Hey! At least warn us, you absolute wrench! You almost slammed my beautiful feet,” Yzma groaned.

“SORRY!” Heisuke apologized.

Tom gave them a thumbs-up before they hopped back on the boat and continued to row for the second chest. Bugs resurfaced, and it was Mama’s turn to dive, while Trevor got his first chest for his team.

“C’mon, c’mon, be quick!” Maya said.

“No. There’s no reason to rush the challenge,” Spy sighed.

“Yeah, but look how early they are!” Maya pointed out that the other teams were way ahead of them after obtaining their first chest.

“Still. Don’t need to worry, madame,” Spy said.

“What’s that face, lil girl?” Thanos quipped.

“Er, nothing, forget it,” Maya said.

Mama has resurfaced, tagging Malina.

“Five more knots to finish!” Mama said.

“Alright, let’s hope I don’t drown or something.” Malina sighed as she dived.

Beat.

Malina rose to the surface with their first chest already and tossed them into their boat.

“How did you do it so fast?” Maya asked.

The spy noticed the end of the rope was sliced clean.

“Oh, it appears she cut the ropes instead. That was quite impressive, I must admit.” Spy said.

“Uh, wait! Wouldn’t that be cheating?” Mama whispered.

“Erm, he never mentioned cutting the rope, we’re good to go, fools!” Thanos replied, then proceeded to mumble a rap lyric about fame.

“C’mon, shut up with your annoying rap lyrics, we got two more to go.” Malina shut him.

They continued to row their boat. The Jellyfish reached the second buoy.

“Are you sure this kid is capable of untying knots? Even swimming?” Trevor asked, causing Pucca to pout. “No offense, really.”

“I guess I’ll make a move,” Kiryu said, stopping them and taking a dive.

“Is Ibuki’s team in the lead?” The musician asked.

“We’re rolling first, baby! These bustas are still catching up with us!” Ryder said.

“Here comes the Squids,” Trevor said.

The Squid arrived next. Tom dived. Kiryu resurfaced; it was Ryder’s turn.

“Go! Come on! We’re still not far behind!!!” Maya shouted from afar.

“Shut up, genuinely,” Malina grumbled.

Meanwhile, underwater. Tom was untying one of the knots when he noticed something.

SWOOSH!

The cat looked around, and he thought he was imagining things, so he went back to his duty.

SWOOSH!

He looked back again. He was this close to fully undoing the knot.

SWOOSH!

Getting irritated. He looked to his left and saw a shark approaching him with an open jaw.

“AH!” Tom’s scream was muffled as the shark swam toward his prey.

The two got into a fight, and Ryder was watching them. He dismissed them and went back to work on the rope.

“Mmmph!” Tom kept screaming, trying to drive the shark away until he saw Ryder.

He swam toward and passed the gangster, who was oblivious.

Man, what’s up with this Busta? Ryder thought.

Ryder turned around to see a shark rapidly approaching him.

“BLUURGH!” Ryder screamed underwater.

And now the two of them fought. Tom had escaped the water in panic.

“Whoa, you okay, dude?” Heisuke asked, and Tom responded with a nod.

Gordon nudged the drone.

“You wanted me to go?” J sneered.

“I haven’t seen you perform anything.” Yzma crossed her arms.

“OH, yeah, and uh, I think she mentioned being waterproof? Yeah, she’s good to go.” Heisuke added.

“Alright, alright,” J sighed and entered underwater.

Not even 10 seconds later, J rose to the surface with a chest.

“What the hell?!” Heisuke gasped. “That was quick! Very quick!”

J tossed the chest, and the Squids began rowing to the final buoy.

“WHAT? How did they do it fast?!” Ibuki gasped.

“I’m more concerned with what the hell Ryder was doing,” Trevor said.

The Barracudas arrived. Malina took the first dive.

“Erm, Bashame thinks we’re fineeee! They’re the least dead!” Bashame quipped.

Malina resurfaced with a chest, earning some cheers from her teammates. She then rowed to their final buoy, leaving the Jellyfish in last place.

“WHAT?!?! IBUKI THINKS THEY’RE CHEATING!” Ibuki shouted.

Ryder finally came out of the water and hopped onto the boat, breathing and exhausted.

“Ryder? What happened?” Kiryu asked with concern.

“Shit happened, Busta…” Ryder groaned.

(CONFESSIONAL) RYDER:

“Yo, what the frick was that, pussycat?! Ain’t no way, this fur tryna kill me with a shark! I’m coming for yo ass now once I get you!”

“You ALMOST got eaten by a shark? Scarrrrry! Ibuki can’t imagine being in the same situation!” Ibuki shrieked.

Pucca dived into the water.

“Ah, what the hell? That kid’s gonna die if the shark is still around!” Trevor said.

“I should join her in case something happened,” Kiryu said.

“Uhm, is it allowed to have two people dive at once?” Bashame asked.

“I don’t think he brought up that rule, we’re good. Even if it was one of the rules, Majima would give it a pass since… I’m me,” Kiryu said.

Kiryu dived to join Pucca, who was untying one of the knots. A shark was approaching her, and Kiryu quickly swam toward her to save her from a shark attack.

“Hmm?” Pucca muttered.

The shark reached its target before Kiryu managed to reach her. Instead of screaming, Pucca simply punched the shark with an uppercut, and her teammates on the boat witnessed it fly out of the water.

“What the fuck…” Trevor gasped.

“Whoa, I knew the big man was capable of doing that!” Ibuki said.

Meanwhile, on the shore.

“Okay, that was definitely NOT Kiryu-chan’s doing,” Majima said. “He ain’t strong enough to send a shark INTO THE DAMN GALAXY!”

(CONFESSIONAL) KIRYU:

“She’s something else… I thought she was a simple and innocent child until she sent the shark into space. I feel like she’s gonna outmatch us easily.”

Pucca and Kiryu resurfaced with a chest.

“Bashame wants to know if a deer can send a predator into space!” Bashame clapped.

“Man, Kiryu, I didn’t think you were that strong,” Trevor chuckled.

Kiryu was kind of dumbfounded that his teammates thought it was his doing, and not Pucca's. I mean, nobody believes a child would do that anyway. Pucca was giggling at their compliment on Kiryu.

“We’re dead last, Busta! Quit praising your big muscle, we've got stuff to finish!” Ryder interrupted them.

They left the second buoy for the final one. The Squids were the first ones to arrive at the final buoy.

“Alright, let me handle this,” J stopped Diana before she dived.

“How are we doing, team?” Yzma asked.

“Ehh, I think the team with a demon is coming, I haven’t seen the other.” Heisuke looked back.

J came back with a chest.

“I’m starting to think you used something to cut the rope,” Heisuke said.

“Ding, ding, ding, you want a gold medal?” J quipped.

Gordon already knew how she cut the rope, but ignored it since it saved them a lot of time. The team rowed to the raft after obtaining all the chests.

“YUUUH! Here it is, boys and girls! The Squids have collected all chests and are heading toward the raft!” Majima shouted with a loudspeaker.

The Barracudas arrived at their last chest.

“Mon Dieu, do you really have to be that loud?” Spy groaned.

“You wanna go?” Mama asked.

“Fine, but you better not vote me out of this game if we lose,” Malina responded.

“Man, imagine being the first person to be voted out again! That would be one of the greatest embarrassments!” Thanos chuckled but was quickly shut up by Maya as she didn’t want Malina to get pissed again.

The demon huffed and entered the water. She came out with a chest.

“Welp, good thing we found a shortcut!” Thanos said, as his feet almost got crushed by a chest. “Yo, watch it!”

J ignored his plea and they returned to row their boat to the raft. The last team finally arrived.

“Yo, we need to be fast!” Ryder said.

“Ibuki suggests we all dive at once, so it will be faster to finish the work!” Ibuki suggested.

“That’s… not a bad idea,” Trevor said.

They dived at once and did the work quickly before rising to the surface with their final chest.

“Damn it, man! Why didn’t we think through this earlier? That saves a lot of time!” Ryder complained.

“C’mon, let’s go,” Kiryu commanded his team.

The Barracudas were already on their raft, just trying to figure out how to open their chest.

“Do we have a key?” Mama asked.

“I don’t recall seeing any key,” Spy sighed.

“No! I don’t wanna swim again to look for our missing key!” Maya pouted.

“I guess we’ll have to figure out another way to open it,” Bugs rubbed his head.

“Oh, alright, I have an idea,” Malina sighed.

She just punched the chest open and unlocked it from inside.

“Yo, nice going, chick!” The rapper complimented.

“Ten rings? Alright, docs. Who makes their first move?” Bugs asked.

“Oh! Me! Me!” Mama raised her hands and took one of the rings.

She threw her first ring, which landed in one of the bottles.

“Woo! Good job, Momma!” Thanos complimented the home cook.

It was Squid’s turn to arrive with their chest.

“Okay, guys, we need to find a solution to crack this chest open—” Heisuke was interrupted when J turned her hand into a chainsaw and cut it open.

“I haven’t finished anything,” Heisuke groaned.

“Thanks for your support,” J scoffed.

Tom wanted to show off and threw his first ring, but it was a weak throw that landed far from the bottles. Freeman does an awkward compliment through slow clapping.

“FOOL! This is not how you throw!” Yzma barked.

Yzma took one of the rings and somehow performed worse than a literal cat.

(CONFESSIONAL) YZMA:

“It’s quite windy here today!”

“Hold up, doc. I’ll do it,” Bugs snagged the ring from Maya’s hands.

“Awww… no fun!” The medium spirit pouted. “You’re just stealing my glory.”

He ignored the girl and landed the ring into one of the bottles. 2 of 6.

Heisuke was next to throw for his team. It missed by an inch.

“It’s okay, we got this,” Diana said.

(CONFESSIONAL) HEISUKE:

“I’m supposed to be the greatest marksman! Just not for some ring throwing…”

The Jellyfish finally arrived at their raft with their chest.

“C’mon, Busta. We can’t afford to lose here,” Ryder said.

“Where’s the key?” Kiryu asked.

“There’s no key! We have to find a way to open it!” Ibuki said.

“I’m not the master of lockpicking, sorry,” Trevor shrugged.

“Yo, how about this bun heads?” Ryder gestured toward Pucca, who was a little offended.

“Hold on, I got this,” Kiryu crouched toward their chest.

He ripped the padlock with his bare hands with ease.

“Whoa, Big scary Yakuza guy is strong!” Ibuki gasped.

A cheer was heard from the Barracudas after the mercenary got his ring in. 3 of 6.

“Your turn, my lady!” Thanos shoved a ring at the devil.

“Ugh… don’t expect me to go easy on you, this isn’t the first time you—” Malina growled.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it, you’re hot!” Thanos chuckled.

“Let’s not kill this guy or something,” Mama stopped them from fighting.

Malina threw the fourth ring and landed in one of the bottles. 4 of 6.

“Nice going! We’re almost through,” Bugs said.

Diana and Trevor have landed their rings in one of the bottles. 1 of 6 for both teams.

“Can I have my turn?” Maya asked.

“NOPE! First come, first serve, baby!” Thanos took the fifth ring.

He missed it.

“Oops, my fingers slipped.” Thanos awkwardly chuckles as Spy faces palms in the back.

(CONFESSIONAL) SPY:

“Pray tell, why does this man belong to our team?”

Gordon threw his ring and landed another one for the Squid. 2 of 6.

“Who’s up?” J asked her teammates.

“Can I have my turn?” Heisuke asked.

“No, I must finish what I started,” Yzma said.

She threw her ring, and it didn’t land.

“Fine,” Yzma groaned.

“Alright, it’s not that hard enough,” Heisuke shrugged.

He threw his ring and landed in the bottle. 3 of 6.

“See?” Heisuke chuckled, and the sorceress replied with a growl.

“YANK!” Ibuki unnecessarily shouted as she threw her ring and landed it. 2 of 6.

“Hmm…” Trevor sighed.

“What’s wrong?” Kiryu asked.

“I’m not too sure if we’re going to win.” Trevor gestured toward Bashame. “I have seen her taking a nap during the challenge last time, and she went home for it.”

Pucca landed her ring as they interacted about a certain Deer Club member. 3 of 6.

“Bashame promises to be useful!” Bashame told him.

“Ibuki thinks the rice lady should have her chance!” Ibuki pleaded.

“Now, watch me!” Thanos told his team.

He threw it and landed in the bottle. 5 of 6.

“Finally! I’m up for the last one!” Maya said.

The last bottle was far away compared to the others.

“Well?” The spy questioned her.

“Well, what? I can do this, you know!” Maya pouted.

She threw her ring and missed it.

“I can improve!” Maya said.

“Just be patient, we’re still in the lead!” Mama reassured.

“I’m going in.” J threw her ring and landed in the bottle. 4 of 6.

“Maya, you’re wasting stuff here,” Malina groaned.

“Why don’t you do it?” Maya told her.

“Sorry, purple lady, each member must complete the task. All of us had done it except for you.” Thanos said as he did a pose.

Maya missed again. She was grabbing a new one, but the chest is now empty.

“Argh?! Where did it go?” Maya shouted.

“Mon Dieu, you wasted all of the rings and none of them had entered the mark.” The spy sighed.

“Welp, looks like you have to collect the rings swimming in the water, doc,” Bugs shrugged.

“It’s okay, we’ll help you!” Mama said.

As the Barracudas were busy obtaining all of their missed rings back. Kiryu got his ring in the bottle. 4 of 6.

“Ay, ay, I’m up.” Ryder picked up his ring. “Ay, this busta thinks the challenge will be hard? Huh?”

“You were attacked by a shark earlier,” Trevor deadpanned.

“Nah, man. That shark wasn’t the plan in the beginning. Blame the foolish cat,” Ryder responded.

He threw his ring and landed it. 5 of 6.

“BOOM! That’s how a real gangster does it!” Ryder bragged.

“Yay, Bashame finally has her turn!” Bashame cheered.

“Ahh, crap,” Trevor said.

“Don’t worry, we’ll be fine… I think,” Kiryu reassured him.

“Take this, you imbecile!” Yzma threatened the bottle for no reason.

She threw it and made it into the ring. 5 of 6.

“Oh, nice, everyone is on the last one,” Heisuke added.

“What the hell do you mean by ‘nice’? We’re on a race here! One slip and we’ll lose,” J complained.

Gordon tapped the cat’s shoulder as he was the last member who hadn’t completed the ring toss. The cat gave his team a salute and began working.

“Bashame, you gotta aim, don’t throw them mindlessly,” Kiryu instructed the girl.

“Yeah, don’t throw them like a hand grenade,” Ryder chimed in.

“Okay,” Bashame said.

“Hey, focus, cat!” Yzma warned.

“Awh!” Tom yelped before nodding.

Tom took his ring and decided to throw it, only for him to accidentally slip up and throw it sideways.

“Hey, watch out—” Diana exclaimed.

BONK!

“Ow, OW, dawg, who’s responsible for this terrible throw?!” Thanos asked the opposite team.

The cosmetologist pointed toward the cat.

“Booo, snitches.” J booed, followed by Tom, who does the same.

“Hey, I was filling in for him,” Diana said, crossing her arms.

Thanos approached the grey cat.

“Man, get your feline ass outta here!” And the cat yelped as the rapper threw him into the ocean, gaining a shock from the Squids.

(CONFESSIONAL) THANOS:

“Yeah, it’s a dick move. But do I care? Mmmmm, nah. He’s a living cartoon guy; he’ll be fine.”

(CONFESSIONAL) DIANA:

“I should’ve kept quiet.”

“NO! THE CAT!” Heisuke shouted. “WHAT DID YOU DO?!”

“I gave him a flop-flop, bro,” Thanos said. “Let there be punishment for the cat.”

“Shut up, please! Let me focus!” Maya said.

Meanwhile, Tom was underwater, finally waking up. He swam up to emerge from the water, and he was a distance away from the raft.

“Oh, there’s Tom! Come back!” Heisuke waved.

“Is that a shark?” Trevor said, trying to see if it was an actual shark.

Tom turned around to see a new shark rapidly approaching him.

“AAAAAH!”

“Uh oh.” Pucca gasped silently.

“Ough, what now?” Maya asked after being distracted from throwing.

“Oh no, just some animal stuff, move along,” Thanos intervened.

“You were the one who started this—” Bugs was cut off by Thanos' shush.

“Whoa, that’s impressive. He’s running on the water!” Heisuke pointed out.

Tom was running straight into the raft with a shark that was noticeably bigger than the previous one, which was swimming behind him.

“Get back here fast, so we can get this carnival game over,” J said.

Tom reached the raft.

“Well, problem solved, right?” Heisuke said.

The shark didn’t give up and just jumped out of the water to reach the cat.

“AAAH!” Tom was shocked and ran into the water to their buoys.

“NO, NOT THAT WAY!” Yzma screamed.

Tom doesn’t move any of the targets, and the shark does the work instead, sending some bottles off the buoy with their ring going off. All of the rings have fallen out of the bottle. 0 of 6.

“Are we serious, man?!” Heisuke panicked, followed by Gordon’s facepalm.

“Forget it! Tom’s dying, and we can’t do anything!” Diana gasped.

(CONFESSIONAL) YZMA:

“That stupid cat! He should be prepared for his punishment once this was all over.”

(CONFESSIONAL) HEISUKE:

“Oh, man. He’s going home tonight. I gotta make sure I don’t cause a worse screw-up than a cat. I hope my shouting didn’t annoy my teammates into considering my elimination.”

“Well, that just happened,” Trevor said, the most Hollywood thing.

One of the Jellyfish buoys moved toward the raft thanks to Tom and the shark’s work. It was like one foot from reaching Bashame.

“Oooh!” Bashame exclaimed before putting her ring in the bottle.

“Yup! That counts!” Ibuki cheered. “We wooon!”

And the Jellyfish just sat on the raft, waiting for Majima to announce. Mama raised her eyebrow as they missed the last part.

“Should we—” Mama asked.

“No, keep it that way. Don’t tell ‘em.” The spy told her as he turned to Maya. “Anyway, how’s the game going?”

“I’m trying hard!” Maya pouted.

And then, there’s the Squids trying to figure out whose ring survived the shark attack.

“Uhhhhh, which one was yours?” Heisuke asked.

“My ring survived, not sure about the last one,” J shrugged. “I think Gordon’s ring flipped off.”

Gordon and Diana reminded them that Tom was still running on the water from the shark.

“J, you can just kill the shark with your gadget.” Yzma raises a good point.

“I lost my arsenal after my demotion,” J sighed.

Beat.

This got Gordon confused.

“A killer robot designed with no weapon to kill? Yeah, we’re doomed. Super doomed!” Heisuke yelped.

“Can you just fly and bring him back?” Diana pleaded.

The silence was all she got.

“DON’T TELL ME THEY GOT RID OF YOUR WINGS AS WELL?!” Heisuke was about to pass out.

“Wow, that’s a huge downfall,” Yzma said.

“Oooh, it must’ve been the company fearing that J would destroy the entire island with her weapon. I say, that’s a good decision,” Bugs yelled.

"Don't you still have a chainsaw and claw?" Trevor replied.

“Shut up,” J shot back. "But yeah, I only have those two available. The rest got removed."

Tom returned to the raft, fully sweating and tired, earning relief from his teammates.

“What about the shark?” Diana asked before the shark suddenly jumped out of the water and headed toward the cat.

“AAAH!” Tom was about to pass out until someone stepped in.

Gordon immediately takes out his crowbar and swings left. It hits the shark hard enough to send them away. After a moment of silence, Tom repeatedly thanks him while kneeling.

“Okay, the shark crisis is over! Let’s start a roll call!” Heisuke said.

“We’re all fine,” J sighed.

“Someone keep the bottles from separating from the others, they’re swimming away!” Yzma groaned.

“Are we allowed to move the bottles?” Diana asked.

A loudspeaker rang. There was a buoy with one attached to it.

“NOPE! You’re NOT allowed to move your target, except for the natural stuff like a tsunami, shark, octopus, and whatever anything as long as it’s not from any of you guys, even your enemy team. Ya can put the bottles back first,” Majima claimed. “Also, shout out to Gordon for that sick-ass shark parry.”

Gordon felt accomplished upon hearing the news. And it didn't take them long to restore every bottle, but the buoy stayed unmoved.

“You guys focus on the other rings, I’ll take the furthest one,” J said.

“If we lose, we’ll blame the cat,” Yzma claimed.

“That wasn’t his fault…” Diana said.

“I’m taking the furthest one,” Heisuke added.

“I already said that was for me.” J huffed. “I don’t think you can throw that far.”

“Aw, okay,” Heisuke sighed.

The Squids were working on their ring toss again. Meanwhile, on the other team.

“I got it!” Maya yelled.

She finally got her ring in the bottle. The Jellyfish remained on the raft and congratulated them.

(CONFESSIONAL) SPY:

“Mon Dieu, how come those spaghetti noodles teams sit there all day? But thanks to them. We might have an early lead for the last part.”

“They still didn’t know?” Malina said.

“Ay, ay, be quiet. We’re winning here.” Thanos shut her up.

The Barracuda returned to their boat and began rowing. Bashame was the first to notice this, somehow.

“Uh, was there anything else to do after this?” Bashame asked her teammates.

The group sat on the raft, waiting for Majima to announce the victory until—

“Wakata…” Kiryu stood up.

“What’s up, man?” Ryder asked him in confusion.

“We need to go back to Majima. We must high-five him to secure our immunity,” Kiryu reminded his team.

“Dammit, I knew something was missing! Let’s go!” Trevor commanded.

“Maaan, we’re so stupid for sitting like a doll!” Ibuki groaned.

The Jellyfish returned to their boat and began rowing to catch up with the Barracuda.

“Crap, they left already! Who was missing the last target?” Heisuke asked.

“Tom. Again.” Yzma said.

Gordon was watching the two teams race back-to-back to reach Majima.

“Oh, hoho! Looks like the Barracuda and Jellyfish are neck-and-neck in giving me a high-five!” Majima said as he watched them through a telescope.

“Hurry up, Tom!” J groaned.

“Hyah!” Tom managed to get his final ring in the bottle.

“Nice, come on! We can still catch up!” Heisuke said.

The Squids hopped on their boat to row.

“Okay, we've got all teams racing toward my palms now. Who’s gaining the gold medal?” Majima said.

“C’MON, BOYS AND GIRLS!” Thanos yelled.

“Don’t slack off, Busta. We’re not going to lose the real deal.” Ryder said.

“We’re noooooot!” Bashame replied as she gave a weak rowing power.

“Man, you’re not helping! Especially that tiny girl!” Ryder said.

Pucca responded with a pout. Bashame just thought that was a compliment and kept rowing.

“Hey, hey, we’re coming!” Diana shouted.

“Someone blast those boats so they sink and we get our easy time to finish,” Yzma suggested.

“Like what? My weapons are disabled,” J said.

“Oh, how about we throw something?” Heisuke added.

“There’s nothing to throw, and I doubt a crowbar would be capable of sinking the entire ship,” J said.

“Was the shark heading toward us a part of the plan?” Heisuke gestured behind him to notice the third shark approaching.

“Oh, for the love of Robo-GOD,” J groaned.

“Dude, it’s not that huge. It’s fine. It can’t sink the boat alone,” Heisuke said, “Plus, Gordon could knock that thing down with his crowbar again.”

Gordon replied with a nod.

The small shark jumped out and bit Tom’s tail.

“AAAAAH!” Tom shrieked.

Gordon was going to save him again, but Tom turned around and accidentally hit his face with a paddle to knock him unconscious, and fell into the water.

Tom was still screaming while Heisuke had to save Gordon from drowning again. J was the next one to make a move, but got the same treatment as Gordon from Tom.

“Quick! Someone save him!” Diana said.

“You do it,” Yzma suggested.

“I’m no shark expert! But I’ll try if you ask for it,” Diana gulped.

She stood forward.

“Hey, Mr. Shark, you can’t just eat our friend like that, you might as well end up cutting the poor cat’s tail off!” Diana pleaded. “Oh, uh, who wouldn’t like some make-up?”

Beat.

She could only hear a hard facepalm from her teammates, even Tom. Then he remembered the situation he was in and began continuing to scream.

(CONFESSIONAL) YZMA:

“You’re NOT a Disney princess there, girl.”

(CONFESSIONAL) HEISUKE:

“Wow, I like her, but… I rather shot him—AH, ah, uh, I mean remove  the shark off the cat! Sorry, but the plan seem sucked.”

Yeah, it didn’t work out. Tom was still trying to get the shark off, but he spun around, and the shark spun since it was still chomping the cat’s tail, and knocked Yzma off the boat.

“You insolent—” Yzma said.

“Great, we’re losing,” J facepalmed. "Stand still."

She turned on her chainsaw, causing Tom to panic again as he did not want to get his tail cut.

Meanwhile, the Barracudas and Jellyfish were still racing neck-on-neck, and they were near to reach the island.

“Faster, people!” Kiryu commanded.

“They’re closing in, doc,” Bugs reminded.

“Yeah, we know,” Maya said. “Don’t worry, we’ll be fine!”

“Row people, row!” The Spy said.

“Hold on, bro. We’re nearly there,” Thanos said.

“Ay, we’re right here, Busta. We’re gonna beat yo ass!” Ryder chimed in.

“I don’t think so,” Mama cooed.

“I feel like this is taking forever, or I’m just that impatient, or maybe my teammates are slacking,” Malina murmured.

“Quiet, madame.” The Spy replied.

“Give it all of your strength, people!” Kiryu said.

The two teams were rowing faster than before, and they’re now equal.

“OOOOOH, SHIIIIIIT! HERE THEY COME!” Majima shouted.

Crash!

The two boats collided with each other right after they reached the shore. Both teams immediately hopped off to reach the host.

“Ibuki will not lose the game!” Ibuki wailed.

Thanos decided to play dirty by tripping Bashame.

“Ouchie…” Bashame weakly muttered.

“Hands up, ami,” The Spy raised his hands as he was running toward the host.

SLAP!

Spy took the first high-five for his team, followed by Malina, Bugs, Thanos, and Mama. Kiryu was the first Jellyfish member to give the high-five, followed by Ibuki, Pucca, Trevor, and Ryder.

“I’m tired.” Ibuki groaned.

“We didn’t run a mile,” Trevor reminded her.

“Who’s left?” Mama said.

“Coming!”

SLAP!

Maya gave the final high-five for the Barracudas. Bashame was the last to arrive because she was tripped by Thanos earlier.

A weak slap.

“Ya played dirty, eh?” Bugs asked the rapper.

He responded with a smug grin and did another stupid pose to taunt the opposite team.

“YUP! That’s it! The challenge is over with the Barracuda and Jellyfish surviving the plank! Not only did the Barracudas win their first immunity… they also won a nice reward!” Majima said.

The Barracudas cheered while the Jellyfish just sat on the sand, clearly exhausted.

(CONFESSIONAL) MALINA:

“I’m no longer the target for being a potential first boot again because my team won. Progress, I guess.”

(CONFESSIONAL) THANOS:

“Credits on me, boys! You wouldn’t have won the prize if it wasn’t for me tripping the rice lady.”

(CONFESSIONAL) BUGS:

“This marks the second victory with a prize for the first challenge!”

“Ugh, NOOOOO! We were so close to winning the reward!” Ibuki groaned.

“Suck it losers!” Thanos did a pose while taunting them again.

“I’m going to rip your arms,” Malina sneered, and the rapper was oblivious, not listening to her advice.

“Yay! Dinner’s on me!” Mama bloated.

“Don’t worry, we’re still safe,” Kiryu reassured. “Minus the reward.”

“How’s the other team doing?” Mama asked.

They turned around to see that Tom was still flailing from the shark remaining on his tail. His teammates tried their best to get rid of it, but hilariously failed.

“Oh, yeah, I kinda forgot about the Squids because they seem the least interesting team in my eyes,” Majima admitted. “They’re the last team that hasn’t finished, soooooo one of them is going home tonight.”

The Squids heard the news and groaned.

“And the prize?” Maya demanded.

“I got a gut feeling it might be the same one as the previous season,” Bugs added.

It was at sunset when the Barracuda and Jellyfish gathered at the field, and there was something covered behind the big curtain. Majima arrived only wearing a swimming trunks.

“Why are we even here?” Trevor asked.

“Just curious to see their reward,” Kiryu replied.

“Ahoy, Barracudas! Had a great day today for winning the challenge? Well, I’m going to skyrocket your mood by showing off the prize!” Majima walked up to the curtains. “Here it is!”

He pulled them away to reveal the average-sized hot tub that can fit an entire team.

“Damn, that’s all? Lame—I mean, that’s sick! Free dipping!” Thanos claimed.

“What? Yer disappointed with the result? Who has an objection to show?” Majima demanded.

Malina raised her hands.

“Pfft, who the hell needs one? This is the real deal.” Majima walked to the back of the hot tub.

He took out a walkie-talkie and murmured something. Later, the fake landscape canvas was lifted up by a forklift and moved away, revealing an actual swimming pool with a bit of luxury stuff.

“They… had a secret resort here?” Trevor was dumbfounded.

“Well? Y’all got any objection now?” Majima asked again.

Beat.

Suddenly, the Barracudas turned up in their swimsuits with some floating ducks, snorkels, cocktails, and more prepared. They immediately rushed toward the mini-resort.

(CONFESSIONAL) RYDER:

“Man, I call those bull.”

“Can we have those mini hot tubs?” Trevor asked.

“Nah,” Majima responded.

“ Please? ” Pucca begged, showing off sparkling googly eyes like an innocent kid begging for something.

A moment of silence. Majima finally responded.

“Eh, whatever, go have fun with the tub. I was planning to throw ‘em away tomorrow, make sure to have a good use on their final day, yeah?” Majima said. “Now, I gotta go and have to start an elimination, buh-bye, campers!”

At least the Jellyfish got their reward. Majima headed off to the elimination zone.

===

The Squids arrived at the hill and were fully exhausted from the climbing. They took their seat. Majima and Chef were standing with a tray of five marshmallows.

“Who in their mind said the campfire ceremony located on a high hill is a good idea?!” Yzma complained.

“That’s me, Your Highness! Ehehe…” Majima giggled like a guilty child.

“Okay, can we listen to the Chef’s ranting now?” J asked.

“O’ CHEEEEEF!” Majima shouted.

“Freeman,” the Chef said. “Not only were you that horrible at handling the ropes, but you somehow got tangled and trapped underwater for a good minute. It’s a miracle that you survived.”

The rebel sighed in embarrassment.

“Tom. You lured the shark into following you during the chase, and managed to screw the entire ring game by knocking the target and the rings off. And you did a huge setback for your team when another shark got your tail, and you swung like a madman to knock everyone who tried to help you off.”

Tom huffed and crossed his arms. It was clearly not his fault for leading the shark into his team because he was thrown by Thanos. Well, the last one wasn’t anybody's fault but Tom's.

“And Diana. Like, yeah, why do you think convincing a predator to let their prey go was a good idea? Plus, there's no point in giving it a make-up since the water will wash them away."

Diana was obviously embarrassed by her stupid action earlier.

“How do ya vote? Well, just write the name on the paper and put it in the pot.” Majima instructed the Squids. “We’ll start with one by one. Gordon, you take the honor of being the first voter of the night! Better pick wisely!”

After the vote.

“Alright, most votes means you’re eliminated from the game and will get to visit Davy Jones’ locker!”

“Why are you so anticipated to see one of us dying?” Diana asked, concerned.

“I was kidding, lass. It’s not possible to die from the drop… really.” Majima coughed. “OKAY! Votes are in, fellas! I have read it, and if you receive a marshmallow… you’re safe! The first marshmallow goes to…”

“Heisuke.”

“Yes!” He caught his marshmallow.

“Gordon.”

The man sighed in relief and caught his.

“Yzma.”

She didn’t react and caught hers.

“And Diana.”

Diana thought she would’ve gone home tonight, but she was wrong. She caught hers. Leaving Tom and J in the bottom two.

“And I have the final marshmallow! Aaaaaaand it’s a tie… how can you screw up this crap?! We were only on the second episode!”

Silence.

“Wait. We HAVE A TIE?!” Heisuke asked, surprised.

“Uh, yeah? It was a 3-3 vote, I honestly thought the first elimination wouldn’t have a tie because a certain cat screwed everything up,” Majima sighed.

“Well, idiot. We don’t need a drone screwing the game again after everything in the last season,” Yzma said.

“Ah, okay. Fair reason!” Majima said.

J was crossing her arms, unimpressed, and Tom was biting his nails.

“Okay, what’s our first tiebreaker? It’s not the first time I’ve been cornered in this situation,” J sighed.

Beat.

“Uh, yeah, the thing is. I haven’t planned anything to solve a tiebreaker.” Majima replied.

“Seriously?” J said.

“Hey! I didn’t think there would be a tie right now! There was never a tie in the first elimination!” Majima defended himself.

The ex-yakuza looked around until he found several cutlasses lying by the barrel. A light bulb shows up above his head. He picked six of them and handed three to each person.

“Okay, your tiebreaker challenge is sword juggling!” Majima said. “Whoever can juggle like an expert will be safe!”

J blinked at the wild request, while Tom… well, he’s not going to win, or even make it out alive.

“Those are plastic toys, trust me!” Majima told them.

Silence.

“Okay, I’ll prove it.”

He took one from J and ‘stabbed’ Heisuke.

“AH!”

He clutched his heart and did a dramatic exit as he was going to die from the stab wound. He finally lay down on the ground with his eyes closed.

Gordon tapped his body, causing him to jolt awake.

“Oh, yeah, this is a plastic toy, ahaha… still hurts…” Heisuke laughed.

J took her cutlass back.

“See? Okay, tiebreaker in 3… 2… 1… GO!” Majima shouted.

The pair started throwing.

Time skip. Tom was crying when one of the blades landed on his feet, and the drone juggled decently with no problem.

“Wow, I can’t believe it.” Diana was amazed.

“She’s a robot, that’s a living cheat code,” Yzma said, followed by a nod from Gordon.

“Okay, that’s the end! Tom has been eliminated from the game! Ya can’t do anything to bullshit your way outta this punishment, follow me, pussycat!”

Tom just hung his head and followed Majima.

Some time later, Tom was standing on a plank and was about to jump off a hundred-foot drop cliff.

“Any last words, mate?” Majima asked, but he only got a silent treatment.

“No? Goodbye, Tom. It was fun while it lasted, waddle on!” Majima said.

Tom was frozen at the edge of the plank, clearly not wanting to jump.

“What’s the matter, eh? Ya afraid of gravity?” Majima said.

Tom was still not moving. The host groaned.

“Fine!!! Guess we gotta do this in a mean way.”

Hearing this made the grey cat gulped in fear.

“BARK!” Majima barked to scare Tom off.

The cat jumped in fear and fell off the plank. A distant screaming was heard until he reached the water, creating a loud splash.

“Hah. That settles it…”

A second later. He grabbed his chin.

“Hm… wait… cats don’t swim, right?” Majima thought.

He looked down the cliff, yelling.

“Oiiiii! Tom! You good down there?”

Tom was mostly floating on the water, and the interns arrived with a boat to pick him up. He just fell unconscious because of the great fall. One of them held an ‘OK’ sign, which was enough for Majima to know.

“Okay, he’s safe, that’s good enough to be considered ‘alive.’” Majima sighed in relief.

He watched the boat taking him somewhere until it disappeared from his view.

“With the cat being fully expelled from the Salty crews for his biggest fumble. We’re down to 17 campers. Who will walk the plank next? What torture will they have to endure next? Find out on the next episode of Total Drama: Campers in Hawaii!”

The musician was approaching the chef.

“Yooooo, big man!” Ibuki chimed in.

“What the hell do you want, kid?” The chef said.

“Ibuki is wondering…” She fidgeted with her finger. “Ibuki’s classmate, Mikan, used to work with you, right?”

The chef answered with a grunt and a nod.

“Okay, okay, soooo, like — where is Ibuki’s friend? She hasn’t contacted us for MONTHS! Like, she just goes BOOM! Like a magician.”

“Uhh…”

He remembered that Mordecai and Mikan just disappeared after unleashing the giant Roomba. He hasn’t heard anything about their whereabouts.

“Uhhhh, I don’t know,” The chef shrugged. “Better to keep it as a mystery, I guess.”

[END]

CONFESSIONAL VOTES

Gordon tossed a paper into J’s slot. (J)

Diana: “It’s not Tom’s fault. I gotta vote for the robot, she seems rude.” (J)

Tom also does the same thing as Gordon by writing the name and putting it into J’s slot. (J)

Heisuke: “Yeah, sorry, buddy. Pierot is not a fan of them, if they even met.” (TOM)

Yzma: “I would’ve gone for J, no? The thing is, keeping the robot would give us a better chance to win another challenge than a cat who causes problems.” (TOM)

J: “Least obvious vote.” (TOM)

ELIMINATION ORDER

18th - Tom - The Salty Squids (3-3; lost tiebreaker)

REMAINING CAMPERS

The Salty Squids: Diana Venicia - Gordon Freeman - Heisuke Mashimo - Serial Designation J - Yzma

The Brawling Barracudas: Bugs Bunny - Malina - Mama - Maya Fey - Spy - Thanos

The Jellyfish Jokers: Ibuki Mioda - Kazuma Kiryu - Meme Bashame - Pucca - Ryder - Trevor Belmont

Chapter Text

“Last time on Total Drama Hawaii! Eighteen contestants settled on their new home very nicely, not to mention the fact that I almost chopped the Chef’s pinky off for his chemical waste food. Okay, let’s cut to the chase. The three teams were put on a boat and had to sail to the raft, but first, they had to retrieve their chests underwater. Here are some honorable mentions: Gordon's near-death experience after getting himself tied, Tom being distracted by a shark, then sending it to Ryder, and then Pucca! Who somehow knocked the shark into space! Once the chest problem was solved, they’re playing a classic carnival game of ring tossing. It was boring until Thanos threw the cat into the water, which led Tom into screwing up his team’s gameplay! Then the third shark screwed the cat once again, causing his team to lose and face an unexpected tiebreaker against the drone. Tom didn’t have a pleasant time as his feet were getting stabbed, and then he jumped off a plank, passing out in the process. Don’t worry, he’s fine. Seventeen campers are left; who will be going home tonight? Find out on this episode of Total Drama… Campers in Hawaii!”

[INTRO]

Kiryu was exploring the island in his leisure time, but he was mostly looking around his surroundings, expecting Majima to show up randomly and turn into a sparring match.

“That’s strange…” Kiryu said.

He felt a coconut land above him, and he clutched his head before looking up to see Ibuki.

“Ibuki?” Kiryu said.

“Oops! Ibuki’s very sorry, Mr. Kazzy!” Ibuki was hanging from a palm tree upside-down.

“What are you doing up there? It’s not safe to hang like that, you’re gonna break your neck if your face lands first.” Kiryu warned.

“Oooh, Ibuki was told by that demon lady to 'hang myself' so Ibuki hung herself on a tree!” Ibuki replied.

(CONFESSIONAL) KIRYU:

“I don’t think she knew what Malina really meant by ‘hang yourself’, but I doubt Ibuki would do that, or even get killed by hanging.”

“Why was she telling you to hang?” Kiryu asked.

“Erm, well, Ibuki tried to ask the horned lady since she knew Mikan before her disappearance,” Ibuki told him.

“I see… just be careful with whatever you’re doing,” Kiryu warned.

“Okie dokie, Kazzy!” Ibuki held an OK sign as Kiryu walked away.

The ex-yakuza continued his journey until he noticed a collapsed tree in front of him.

“Huh? What happened here?” Kiryu questioned himself.

Another tree collapsed in front of him. He looked to his left to see Pucca staring at something on a tree.

“ What is she doing? ” Kiryu thought.

Pucca does a single knock on a tree, and it collapses entirely. She was only trying to get a coconut. She cracked it open with a smile. She turned to see Kiryu and waved.

“Kid. I don’t think you should be showing off your raw power blindly.” Kiryu said.

Pucca tilted her head in confusion.

“I get that you’re here to win, but showing off your superhuman strength would make everyone mark you as a threat, and you’ll be voted out,” He replied.

Pucca understood his reasoning and nodded before going back to play around, probably knocking more wild animals into space.

“Huh… it was that easy,” Kiryu muttered.

Yzma was seen carrying a box of scraps, heading somewhere that didn't seem too suspicious.

“Yo, evil witch, lady!” 

She froze in her spot and turned to her left to notice Thanos lying in a hammock and waving at her vigorously.

“What’cha got there with a box of scraps, huh?” Thanos asked.

“None of your business, peasant,” Yzma sneered.

“C’mon, old lady, I won’t snitch. Pretty promise, I’ll offer you a pinky.” Thanos replied.

“Sure, I’ll cut your pinky off,” Yzma shrugged.

“Ahaha, I was joking, Your Highness,” Thanos chuckled.

“Alright, don’t waste my time and scram,” Yzma groaned.

“Hmm, would I really want to check to see what’s up with the lady?” He yawned. “Man, I’m bored, I’m just gonna wait for the next challenge.”

He went back to doze on the hammock.

(CONFESSIONAL) THANOS:

“I was lazy. Thanos the Great needs a rest to fill his energy.”

(CONFESSIONAL) YZMA:

“I better make sure that nobody else was tailing me when I went to work— Ahem, be more strategic with my teammate , I hope that grape-haired man minds his own business.”

Trevor and Malina were found sitting in the mini-resort.

“Are you sure that I can step a foot in here with no consequences from the eyepatch freak?” Trevor questioned.

“Nah. I doubt he would care.” Malina scoffed. “You’re always welcome to join since you’re my gaming buddy.”

“Damn, if only we realized the final part sooner, then we could enjoy this resort in the first place,” Trevor huffed.

“Dunno, sorta your fault for not figuring it out,” Malina shrugged.

“How was your new team?” Trevor asked.

“Kinda decent, I guess. Some of them were in a freak show.” Malina yawned. “Thanos in particular, dude tried to flirt with me every single second. And your blue-pink-haired teammate was pretty annoying earlier.”

“What did she talk about?” Trevor asked.

“Something about a missing nurse. I told her to buzz off and hang herself,” Malina said.

“Are you serious? That’s pretty sour. She better not do that,” Trevor said.

“I doubt she’s actually considering it,” Malina replied.

“And how does it feel that you’re not getting out first this time? Happy?” Trevor said.

“Maybe… Not even sure if I’m aiming to make it this far, still wanted to get away from my sister,” Malina said.

“Well, now I’m hoping I’ll make it this far and be more careful with my strategy,” Trevor said. “Damn, they really just flopped their chance to get rid of J.”

“Mmm, and I thought my log strategy was bad,” Malina said. “What happened to your friend after the reunion?”

“Eh, I almost staked his heart for it. But, pulled away, and that vampire Jesus just chuckled because he finds it funny,” Trevor huffed.

“Yeah, that ghost prank on you was funny,” Malina said with a rare chuckle.

“Shut up,” Trevor groaned.

“I’m gonna talk about—”

SWOOSH!

“What the flip?” Malina groaned.

“Sorry, Mama and I were having a water balloon fight,” Maya said.

“Ugh, my suit’s fully soaked now,” Malina complained to her.

“Why are you in your suit?! Shouldn’t you be wearing your swimsuits?” Mama asked.

“I didn’t plan to swim or have a balloon battle royale,” Malina said. “Now it feels heavy to walk around with a soaked suit.”

“Kinda weird how I didn’t get any single drop of water on me,” Trevor shrugged.

“Funny, right? Haha…” Maya added with a nervous chuckle.

“I’m going to gouge your eyes out,” Malina threatened, causing Maya to squeal.

“Eep! I was joking! Please, spare me!” Maya said.

The loudspeaker rang.

“YOOOHOOO! CAMPERS! IT’S TIME FOR YOUR NEXT WATER-RELATED CHALLENGE! HEAD TO THE SHORE AND PACK UP YOUR SWIMSUITS!”

Yup, they didn’t think they would have to wear swimsuits for another challenge. This time, they don’t see a boat, but a long, water-floating bridge with a lot of pearls being prepared at the end of it for some reason. Majima drops in with his swimsuit.

“Yo, any of y’all up for more swimming lessons? Definitely not for the cat after what happened last night.” Majima grinned. “Did ya at least enjoy the previous reward?”

“Hell yeah,” Trevor replied. “It might be the smallest tub, but it should do enough.”

“You got prizes too???” Heisuke gasped. “Wow, even the 2nd place team gets one.”

“Real fun,” J said.

“And our nice luxury mini-resort won’t disappear mysteriously this time,” Bugs added.

“Yeah, yeah, save with the flexing,” Thanos said. “Oh, wait, we’re on the same team.”

“What’s the challenge?” Diana asked.

“It’s easy. You're just going to have a run to the end of the water-floating bridge. What’s next? Pick up the pearl from the chest and make your way back here. Yeah, you just need one, and you win the challenge.” Majima instructed. “If you fall off the bridge, you have to swim back to the beginning and let someone else redo everything, which means you will have to bring me a new pearl. Got it?!”

“I’m guessing there’s shark for this,” Trevor predicted. “It CAN’T be a water challenge without a shark.”

“Shark? No — no, no, no, fella. We’re not bringing the shark again, this time… we use dolphins!” The hosts grinned.

(CONFESSIONAL) TREVOR:

“I stand corrected.”

“Dolphins? I LOVE dolphins! I always tried to ride one!” Heisuke said excitedly.

“What’s dolphins gonna dooooo? Will they live like a deer?” Bashame asked.

“What kinda question is that — anyway, did ya know the dolphins can be aggressive toward humans? Yeah?”

“What about a cartoon animal like me?” Bugs raised his hands.

“Same thing, bruh. Ya think you can get your life spared like that?” Majima said.

“What’s their role then? Do they bite?” Ibuki asked.

“I don’t think so? Anyway, those things just exist to knock you off the bridge and make your beautiful run miserable, a total wipeout.” Majima snickered. “Like, good luck trying to evade a hundred dolphins hurdling the bridge.”

The said dolphins were hurdling over the platform.

“How did you even hog a hundred of them into one place?” Kiryu asked.

“Some stuff is better to keep as secret, Kiryu- chan ,” He winked. “So, y’all ready? Or are you guys scared to make a move?”

Yeah, nobody moved.

“Don’t worry, one of my interns will volunteer to demonstrate the challenge! Get over here, man!” Majima yelled.

A blocky figure wearing a blue shirt and pants appeared.

“Introducing, Steve. He will show you how to finish this challenge.”

He repeatedly crouched and spammed the M1 move to introduce himself.

“Pfft. No way, dude. A literal LEGO dude? What a joke.” Thanos quipped.

Steve noticed his trash talk and approached him while giving him a hard stare. He does a punching motion, but doesn’t hit him.

“Huh, what is it, fool? Did I offend ya? Thanos, very sorry . Not .” Thanos replied while doing some hand poses.

The miner looked around to notice that every camper was looking at him. He built a block stack in front of the rapper, then spawned an anvil from above to land on him.

CRASH!

Thanos was crushed like a melon. “Ough…”

Steve was taunting him by repeatedly crouching before hopping off the block tower and running back to Majima.

(CONFESSIONAL) THANOS:

“Getting hit on by a brick guy is the greatest humiliation for Thanos the Great himself. Someone cut this footage!”

“How did he lift an anvil like that? It’s heavy.” Heisuke asked.

“He’s got a toon force, I like him,” Bugs added.

Majima slapped Steve’s back. “Okay, block man. Time to show those flippers how to deal with this bullcrap.”

He nodded as he walked to the starting position.

“Alright, you know — whatever, 3, 2, 1, GO!”

Steve immediately made a run for the pearl as he stopped for a moment, letting the dolphin jump over the platform before advancing. He made it to the end and picked up a pearl before heading back and dodging the dolphins again.

“YEAH, GO MY BRO, YOU CAN DO IT!” Majima cheered.

Unfortunately for him, a dolphin just appeared and knocked him off the bridge, earning a groan from everyone.

Steve swam back to the shore and hung his head down in disappointment.

“Don’t worry, lad. You were decent at best,” Majima reassured. 

Steve nodded in respect and left the zone.

“Okay, y’all saw how he played, right? Just don’t get knocked off by a dolphin and you’re good.”

“Okay, team. We need to—” Spy was cut off.

“Who cares about the damn strategy, man? It’s just a simple errand game with dolphins!” Majima said. “J goes first for the Squids. Bugs for Barracudas, and Kiryu- chan for Jellyfish. Any objections?”

A few of them raised their hands.

“Three, two, one—wait, I forgot the prize, whoops!” Majima said. “The first team to complete will enjoy something awesome , trust me, dudes! Second finisher gets immunity and no reward, and last team boot someone off, yadda yadda.”

“Is it rice?” Bashame asked.

“Okay, three, two, one. GO!”

The three were already glued to each other due to the narrow bridge. Bugs was in the lead, followed by Kiryu, then J, who was last.

(CONFESSIONAL) J:

“I’m not used to running with these pointy legs. I wish I could fly again.”

“Yo, big man, watch out!” Ibuki warned.

Kiryu ducked right at the moment before the dolphin tackled him. Another dolphin jumped, and it went straight toward Bugs. Instead, the bunny hopped over it.

“Showoff,” J scoffed.

“Aw, thanks, doc,” Bugs accepted her ‘compliment.’

“Gah!” J tripped.

“Well, looks like you’re clearly lacking sole support,” Bugs said. “Wait, is that a terrible pun?”

J groaned and got back up, only to be hit by the jumping dolphin and sent off the platform.

“OOOH, first blood! Looks like someone has to replace that pointy leg lady,” Majima chuckled.

“I’LL GO!” Heisuke added and made his move for the Squids.

Kiryu reached the pearl already. “I got it.”

“Nice, bring ‘em back here, don’t let those blue fish smack you,” Trevor said.

“Blue fish? They’re dolphins,” Maya said.

“Never seen one in my life,” Trevor yawned.

“And you just did right now,” Maya said.

“Thanks for the mention, Miss Obvious,” Trevor said.

“Ay, what’s up, doc?” Bugs ran past Kiryu as he was going to pick his pearl.

“Whoa, whoa, that was scary!” Heisuke just barely dodged the dolphin.

“Excuse me,” Kiryu calmly said.

“Oh, here, sorry for butting in your way.” Heisuke gave him a space to move.

“Dude, push him!” J instructed with a shout.

“What? I’m supposed to do that?” Heisuke asked.

“Yes, you mongrel. He’s your enemy and he’s about to win!” Yzma groaned.

“Coming through!” Bugs said.

Bugs accidentally pushed Heisuke off the platform, now a new Squid has to replace him. 

“Aw, no!” Diana said.

“Stupid…” Yzma sighed.

Gordon volunteered to make a move. Kiryu was close to reaching the end.

“C’moooooon, Kiryuuuu!” Bashame cheered, including Pucca, who clapped.

“YAA, he’s here!” Ibuki said.

“Man, y’all don’t do that,” Ryder interrupted.

Suddenly, a dolphin jumped from below and tackled Kiryu, right when he was this close to reaching the end.

“Damn, he failed a quick time event, no victory for you, buddy,” Majima sighed.

“Wakata,” Kiryu sighed as he was swimming back to the shore.

(CONFESSIONAL) RYDER:

“Yeah, man, don’t celebrate too early. Ibuki’s at fault.”

“Oops,” Bugs stepped back before the dolphin hurdled past him.

“Oh, Gordon’s about to make a move against Bugs Bunny!” Majima announced.

Gordon was stopping Bugs from finishing his final trip.

“Hey, doc, what’s the rush?” Bugs asked.

The two just do what the fuck were they doing because I’m terrible at describing. Gordon still managed to stall Bugs from escaping with his pearl. 

At least something else happened, but it’s just Bashame getting knocked off the platform by a dolphin, and she’s not even halfway through the course. Now, a new Jellyfish member will fill her role.

“C’mon, give it a break, doc. It’s two teams per winner,” Bugs said.

Something inside Gordon speaks about wanting the reward.

“Okay, looks like I have to use my—”

“Move, Busta!”

Ryder (the new Jellyfish player) harshly pushed Gordon and Bugs off the platform because they were in his way.

“Welp, the Barracuda and Squid need a new volunteer after a long day of the fight!” Majima said.

“Ugh, you were kidding me,” Malina groaned.

“Okay, guys, can I have my turn?” Diana asked her team.

“Sure,” Heisuke added.

Diana will go for the Squid, and Malina will go for the Barracuda.

A dolphin was about to tackle the demon, except she fought back with a single punch, which sent the dolphin back underwater. The punch was strong enough to render ‘em unconscious.

“Agh!” Diana screamed.

She was tackled by a dolphin and pushed off the bridge.

“Yzma, you’re going,” J said.

“Nonsense,” Yzma said. “I—”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re going to say something about getting your ugly dress soaked and ruined. I don’t care, this is Total Drama. We’re getting smothered in mud, sand, goo, feathers, oil, you name it. Just go.” J stopped Yzma from yapping.

And there was only silence.

(CONFESSIONAL) HEISUKE:

“I mean, was Yzma’s behavior that obvious to be insecure about her fashion?”

“Whatever, fine,” Yzma grunted and went for the pearl.

Ryder got his pearl and is taking a U-turn.

“Woo! First part is done, now to reach the finish line,” Ryder said.

He was running toward the starting point and met Malina.

“Make move, Busta!” Ryder interrupted.

Malina side-stepped and tripped Ryder into the water, losing his pearl.

“Pfft,” Malina mocked as she heard a lot of groans from the Jellyfish.

(CONFESSIONAL) RYDER:

“Man, outsmarted by a simple children's trick? You don’t mess with the Ninja, Busta.”

“Okay, I’m uuuuuup,” Bashame replaces Ryder for the Jellyfish.

“Wait, are you sure?” Trevor told her.

“Don’t worry, I think she can do it,” Kiryu said.

She just saw Yzma get pushed off the bridge by a hurdling dolphin.

“Ough, you gotta be kidding me,” Yzma groaned.

She noticed that Malina was this close to finishing it, so she used her energy as a last resort to drag the demon into the water with her.

“Got you,” Yzma grinned.

“Huh? Oh, you,” Malina scowled.

She just stepped on her hands really hard enough to make her scream like a siren.

“WHOA, HO, HO! THAT WAS CINEMA!” Majima said.

(CONFESSIONAL) BUGS:

“Ough, that’s gonna owe her a new hand, doc.”

“Hey, passing through,” Malina greeted.

“Okaaaay!” Bashame said.

J is doing the course for the Squids. She noticed that Malina is close to winning.

“Can you try to dodge this?” J said as a dolphin jumped toward her before she dodged and grabbed its tail.

She rapidly spun the dolphin and released it toward Malina at the speed of light.

“MALINA, LOOK OUT—” Mama yelled.

“OOF!”

Malina and her pearl got knocked off the bridge.

“That’s how you sabotage, log girl,” J taunted.

(CONFESSIONAL) MALINA:

“You’re honestly pissing me off. Next time we’re on the same page, I’ll treat you better .”

“Okay, I have the pearl!” Bashame claimed.

“GOOD JOB, RICE LADY!” Ibuki complimented.

“Get back here, asap!” Ryder said. “Before the robot chick gets your ass!”

J was using every effort to dodge the dolphins and try to stop Bashame. Mama was following behind to replace Malina for the Barracuda.

Bashame’s bow went loose and dropped onto the platform.

“Oh,” Bashame said.

She ducked down to pick it up, causing the hurdling dolphin to miss her.

“Hey, there, rice girl, it looks like you’re going down—” J said before she was interrupted by Mama.

“Hey, don’t hurt her!” Mama yelled. “You’re not getting a nice dish for that!”

“I’m not eating your garbage 5-star dish,” J retorted.

“Oh, YOU!” Mama was fuming.

And the two got into a fight, I can’t describe a fighting scene, so yeah, we cut to Bashame, who skedaddled past them.

“Welp, that’s something,” Spy sighed.

“Alright, that’s it,” J threatened with her chainsaw arm.

CLANG!

J was stunned.

“Agh, what the fuck—how?”

“Don’t mess with the home cook, girl,” Mama threatened as she somehow parried the chainsaw with a frying pan.

“FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!” Thanos chanted from the shore.

“Oh, keep it quiet, will ya?” The Spy groaned.

“Screw that, I’m down to watch the gladiator match,” Trevor said.

The two continued to fight, and they didn’t notice Bashame casually walking past them with her pearl. She’s slowly making her progress to return.

“REF! DO SOMETHING!” Bugs yelled to absolutely no one.

Back to Bashame.

“Guuuuys, I’m this close to winning!” Bashame said.

“Aw, man, these girls are catfighting! They need to fall so we can replace them and stop her from winning!” Thanos said.

“I hope it stayed that way,” Trevor responded to him.

A dolphin jumped.

“WAAAAH, LOOK OUT!” Ibuki warned her.

A dolphin went to tackle Bashame…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…and it missed her.

“That’s it, you can do it,” Kiryu said.

A loud cheer was heard from the Jellyfish, even Pucca.

“Bashame is here,” she said, arriving at the shore.

“WE DID IT, WOO!”

Cricket noise.

“Majima? Why are you so silent?” Ibuki said.

“Take a wild guess,” Majima told her.

“Huh, I could’ve sworn we won—” Trevor said before he was interrupted.

“YOU DROPPED THE PEARL, BUSTA!” Ryder called her out.

Bashame realizes she lost her pearl and probably sank underwater.

“Oh,” That’s all she could say.

(CONFESSIONAL) TREVOR:

“Man, I had hopes for her.”

(CONFESSIONAL) KIRYU:

“She performed the challenge better compared to everyone, including me. Still, it’s bad to see her without a pearl.”

(CONFESSIONAL) BASHAME:

“Bashame is very sorry. Bashame will offer you rice soon! Even better, a membership to the deer club!”

“WOOOOOWIE, no cool girls club for you!” Ibuki pouted, and Pucca joined her.

“Hey, Pucca, how about you go?” Ryder suggested.

Pucca gave him a thumbs-up.

“Dude, end the fight already,” Heisuke shouted.

J and Mama were still busy. J finally managed to knock Mama off, declaring the drone a victory.

“HAHA, finally, I can go back to—”

A dolphin jumped and tackled the demoted murder drone.

“ACK!” J yelled and fell.

Everyone facepalmed at the sight of those two falling.

A montage has been played of the contestants getting smacked by the dolphins. First, Ibuki didn’t even reach the pearl and was pushed off the bridge. Pucca, well, she slipped off due to how slippery and wobbly the platform was. The Spy got his face smacked by a dolphin’s tail. Bugs was somehow outsmarted by a dolphin. Heisuke got his jewel hit by the dolphin. Ryder suddenly slipped off the platform before he reached the pearl. Yzma got dogpilled by two dolphins at once. Maya tries to outsmart the dolphin by sliding toward the pearl while prone, and J pushes her off because she was blocking her way before she was pushed by Trevor as a prank. Many more people get bullied, idk I’m out of the explanation.

(CONFESSIONAL) SPY:

“If there is one more thing I hate besides Pyro… it’d be those filthy dolphins.”

(CONFESSIONAL) MAYA:

“Seriously, guys! I thought dolphins were pure to eat us, now I’m starting to think the sharks are friendlier.”

(CONFESSIONAL) HEISUKE:

“You owe me a new haircut!”

(CONFESSIONAL) J:

“Next time I’m up, I’ll use my chainsaw.”

It was Thanos’ turn for the Barracuda, Pucca for the Jellyfish, and Gordon for the Squids. They just lost track of their orders, including Majima himself.

“Man, I don’t even remember who was supposed to go after this, but go crazy with the order,” Majima said.

Thanos was seen having a panic attack after, well, numerous dolphin attacks against him.

“Crap… I can’t be calm in this situation, I need something HIGH! That’s right, time to use my ultimate plan .” He whispered.

Back to the shore POV’s.

“Any idea on who he was talking to?” Mama asked her teammates.

“None,” Bugs replied.

He decided to take out a cross and pop a pill before hiding his cross again. He made sure that nobody saw him eating a pill.

Gordon recently got his pearl and is now heading back. Pucca was following behind. The two waved and nodded.

“Uh, what’s up with him ?” Diana said.

Thanos was dancing like crazy as he swiftly dodged every dolphin's attack.

“COMING IN HOT, WOOO!”

Gordon froze in his tracks as he spotted Thanos going wild.

“Yo, what’s up, nerd?” Thanos greeted in a crazed state.

Gordon will try to escape past Thanos without falling.

Thanos apparently sends a weak punch and stumbles. Gordon ducked the swing and was free to move.

And then a dolphin appeared and hit the pearl Gordon was holding, causing it to fall into the water.

(CONFESSIONAL) GORDON:

He could only facepalm.

“Gordon, you’re not out yet!” Yzma shouted.

Well, Gordon technically didn’t fall into the water, so he can go back to obtain a new pearl. Thanos is now facing Pucca, who has a pearl.

“Forget the girl, Thanos! Go for the pearl!” Malina shouted.

“Huuuuuh, where?” Thanos was confused (well, he’s high.)

“Right in front of you!” Malina said.

“That one?” He pointed at the unconscious dolphin.

“IT’S RIGHT FUCKING THERE!” Malina shouted louder this time.

“OOOOOH! I see, my bad, girl!” Thanos said.

Pucca was already long gone with her pearl because he was distracted by Malina calling him.

Thanos got a new pearl, and Gordon has his new one as well. Both of them are making their way back to the shore.

“GO, LITTLE BUN!” Ibuki cheered.

“Pucca, look out!” Kiryu warned her.

Thanos was this close to kicking Pucca, and Pucca barely dodged the kick. Thanos doesn’t care anymore and went straight to the finish line.

The three are on the race while dodging the dolphins. Thanos is in the lead, followed by Pucca and Gordon. Pucca was somehow faster than Gordon, if only he knew about her power.

A lot of cheer was heard, forgetting about the dolphins being a main threat.

“DO IT, BEAT THEIR ASSES!” Ryder said.

“Blah, blah, Gordon’s winning,” J said.

“Fools, he’s not making it out!” Yzma groaned.

“Yeah, the kid’s faster than him, did he not work out a lot?” Heisuke asked.

“Eeeeeeerm, we might not win the prize,” Bashame said.

“Oh, we will, trust me.” Trevor is being optimistic for some reason.

Thanos’ pill effect has finally worn off. He was confused about how he got here with a pearl.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GET YOUR ASS MOVING!” Malina yelled.

“RIGHT, MADAM!” Thanos saluted and went back to the race.

Gordon was still failing to catch up with Pucca.

“Ain’t no way that scientist is losing to a child in a foot race,” Ryder chimed in.

And Thanos was pretty close.

“YAY, WE WON!” Diana said. “Wait, wrong team. My bad.”

“Idiot,” Yzma said.

“Thanos for the win, yooo,” He said.

Thanos celebrated too early before he accidentally slipped and lost the pearl underwater.

Cricket noises.

“NOOOOOOOOO!” Mama and Maya yelled in unison.

“Doc, what?” Bugs said.

“Merde…” Spy sighed.

“Death sentence in 6 hours starting now,” Malina sneered.

“All that for nothing, bruh,” Majima groaned.

Pucca was the first one to arrive with her pearl.

“And that’s it! Credit to Pucca for making The Jellyfish win immunity and a reward this time!” Majima announced.

The Jellyfish Jokers cheered as Pucca gave a big, happy smile while Kiryu silently gave her a thumbs-up for not using her superhuman power. Gordon later arrived with his pearl.

“Yahoo! I knew you could do it!” Heisuke said.

“Yup, that concludes today’s challenge! Gordon wins for the Squids, but no reward. Which means the Barracuda will have to expel someone from the game tonight!”

“We might not win a reward, but at least we’re still safe, right, guys?” Heisuke said.

Well, J and Yzma were clearly not happy about not getting a reward.

Thanos was still frozen on the platform for the greatest slip ever.

“Ay, what’s the prize?” Ryder asked.

“Oh, yeah, Steve, get over here!” Majima shouted at the intern.

Steve arrives with a tiny chest.

“Wow, what’s in there? A wedding ring?” Ibuki guessed.

Steve placed the chest, and it’s no longer tiny. He nodded at Majima before leaving. 

“Okay, time for an unboxing event. Who will be our lucky draw?” Majima asked the Jellyfish.

Trevor was the first one to make a move and opened the chest to see their upcoming prize.

“Uh…” Trevor said.

“What is it, dude?” Ryder took a peek. “HOLY SHIT 27 CAKES!”

“Aw, man, not a rice,” Bashame frowns.

“I can’t believe we lost our prize to a toddler,” Yzma groaned, causing Pucca to turn red from her insult.

“Why do all of them have the same design?” Trevor pointed out.

“I dunno, ask Steve. He baked those cakes that fast.” Majima shrugged.

He looked at the Barracudas.

“Barrcuda bros! See ya at the hill tonight!” Majima grinned.

Mama and Bugs were in the lodge.

“Uh, any plans, doc?” Bugs asked.

“It might sound crazy, but, uh, what about the Spy?” Mama said.

“Spy? What’s up with that doc?” Bugs asked.

“Uh, how do I explain this? Sure, he looks fine, but I can’t get the feeling that he’s up to no good soon.” Mama said.

“Hmm, I see,” Bugs said. “He had done nothing wrong yet. But I felt a similar aura from him as well.”

“Do you think…?” Mama said.

“I mean, we can try since they’re probably targeting Thanos.”

“Mmm… alright!”

Meanwhile, Malina, Maya, and Spy gathered in the cafeteria.

“Who do we target tonight?” Spy asked his teammates.

“It’s obvious. Just go for the rapper’s throat,” Malina said.

“And that’s it?” Spy raised his eyebrow.

“Yup,” Malina said.

Maya stood up from her seat.

“Erm, what the heck? We can’t just kick him out because he flopped in the last second. Why can’t we just play strategically?” Maya said.

“Oh, come on, did you NOT see how he tried to flirt with me every single second—”

Clink, clink, clink!

“Yo, attention please!” Thanos hit the pot with a wooden spoon to gain Maya, Malina, and Spy’s attention.

“Why the hell are you here?” Malina asked.

“I have someone special in my mind, you guys, boutta hear me out for this.” Thanos grinned.

“Urgh, what is it?” Spy complained.

“Well? I say we go for the hopper.” Thanos requested.

“Hm? And why’s that?” Spy added.

“Have you seen how he functions in the last season? He’s got a cartoon logic, and not to mention him using every prank he could come up with against J And he’s also that fast to dig around that he eventually escaped the hospital bills!”

A moment of silence.

“Nah, I’m not going to—” Malina was cut off.

“You know what? That’s actually a decent solution. We need to remove the veteran since they know how to play a game, and they have a toon force to carry him.” Spy responded.

“HUH?!” Malina said.

“Yes! That’s a better option than voting you out,” Maya said before closing her mouth in panic.

“Maaaan, you guys were planning to vote for me? Well, at least I changed your hearts.” Thanos muttered a random rap lyrics about elimination, which cringed Malina.

“Alright, veterans first,” Spy said. “Not you, though.”

“Whatever,” Malina sighed.

(CONFESSIONAL) MALINA:

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck…"

The Barracudas arrived at the hill, exhausted. They took their seat. Majima and Chef were standing in front of them with a tray of five marshmallows as usual.

“Mon dieu, this is the worst location to start an elimination,” Spy complained.

“Like it or not, it’s a good foot work if ya think about it!” Majima responded.

“Oh, please. My suit is fully covered in my sweats,” Spy groaned.

“Kinda funny that I already recorded all of yer votes before ya climbed here,” Majima said. “And yes, the vote has been tallied. You get a marshmallow if you’re safe, and GET OUT if you don’t.”

He nudged Chef’s arm.

“Well, I ain’t got anybody to scold except for one man. Thanos, you greatly screwed your team victory after you did some crazy stunt and effectively dodged everything, then you just had to slip, losing the entire game.” Chef said.

“Bro, at least compliment my dancing choreography,” Thanos pouted.

“And yeah, that’s all. If I call your name, pick it up. The first marshmallow goes to…”

“Mama.”

“Maya.”

“Malina, somehow.”

She gritted her teeth and caught her marshmallow.

“Thanos. You’re safe.”

“LET’S GOOOO!”

His celebration was cut off when a marshmallow was perfectly thrown into his mouth.

“Spy, Bugs. I have the final marshmallow in my grip. It’s a match between a mysterious gentleman and a cartoon bunny. The final marshmallow goes to…”

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

“Spy! You’re safe. Sorry, Bugs.”

Bugs raised his eyebrow and looked around.

“Ah, well, didn’t think that would happen,” Bugs sighed and got up.

“Sorry, buddy, you’re going to jump off the cliff right now,” Majima ordered.

Bugs is now standing on the plank, ready to drop off from a 100-foot cliff.

“Erm, this was not how I remembered the elimination was like,” Bugs said.

“You get to experience the fun, bud. The last time you were out, you were hospitalized,” Majima said. “So, got any last word from my favorite cartoon bunny?”

“Kinda disappointed I can’t torment J anymore, I felt like I didn’t do much to annoy her,” Bugs said.

“Same bud. Anyway, the sob story is over. You know what to do,” Majima said.

“Meh.” Bugs shrugged before jumping off the plank with style.

“Oi, watch out—”

CRASH!

He landed face-first on the rock pillar before falling into the ocean, rendering him unconscious. The interns picked him up and signaled Majima that he’s still alive.

“Ouch. He should’ve taken a left turn during the dive, oh well, his loss. With the biggest Toon player and J’s biggest opps being eliminated from the game, we’re down to sixteen campers remaining. I wonder what kind of adventure they will venture on soon? You wanna know what’s in my sleeve? Well, not right now! And that’s all, folks! See ya in the next episode of Total. Drama! Campers in Hawaii!”

Trevor leaves the cabin in an annoyed mood.

“You gave us a good cabin, and the toilet was broken. Can’t even use it.” The hunter sighed.

He’s in the woods to pee. Right after he finished the minor problem, he heard a metal clank.

CLANK! CLANK!

“Huh?”

CLANK! CLANK!

“...”

“OW!”

Beat.

“Heh. Must be those poor interns working on something overnight.” Trevor shrugged.

He left. The scene panned to Yzma cooling down her finger after she accidentally hammered her finger. Working on something in secret.

“Stupid tools,” Yzma groaned.

[END]

CONFESSIONAL VOTES

Thanos: “Yeah, sorry not sorry, Bunny Boy. I need an excuse to remain in this game for money, and possibly more drug—Uhm, MINTS!” (BUGS)

Spy: “One bunny down.” (BUGS)

Bugs: “It ain’t much, but at least I’m not going home. Probably.” (SPY)

Mama: “Sorry! You look like a gentleman, but I sense something bad from you.” (SPY)

Maya: “Welp, at least someone agreed with me that voting Thanos over a slip was stupid.” (BUGS)

Malina: “I am NOT switching my vote here. Why do you guys want to vote Bugs off?! And where the hell did you run off to when I was looking for you?” (THANOS)

ELIMINATION ORDER

18th - Tom - The Salty Squids (3-3; lost tiebreaker)

17th - Bugs Bunny - The Brawling Barracudas (3-2-1)

REMAINING CAMPERS

The Salty Squids: Diana Venicia - Gordon Freeman - Heisuke Mashimo - Serial Designation J - Yzma

The Brawling Barracudas: Malina - Mama - Maya Fey - Spy - Thanos

The Jellyfish Jokers: Ibuki Mioda - Kazuma Kiryu - Meme Bashame - Pucca - Ryder - Trevor Belmont

Chapter Text

“Last time on Total Drama Hawaii: The seventeen campers are hanging out, yadda yadda. Get to the important part. The contestants were instructed to cross the water bridge and retrieve the pearl before returning to the starting point. There was a lot of assault thanks to the dolphins. I managed to hog them into one spot, don’t ask how and why. Anyway, the honorable mention was Heisuke getting his jewel hit, like, ouuuugh, that really hit the spot. Oh, Mama and J fought over food critique, then finally Thanos popped something that caused him to go wild and do decently in the challenge until he cost his entire team with a slip, losing the pearl. Pucca and Gordon won for their team, and Bugs Bunny was sent home thanks to Thanos’ influence. Sixteen campers are left; who will be walking the plank tonight? Find out on this episode of Total Drama: Campers in Hawaii!”

[INTRO]

Thanos was whistling as he was standing near the Jellyfish cabin, skipping breakfast for an obvious reason.

“Okay, Thanos’ number one plan is to sneak inside and snatch a cake they got from the last challenge.” Thanos grinned like a villain. “Front door is not working, so—”

“What are you doing?”

He turned around to see J, unimpressed.

“You’re not planning to sneak into someone’s property, do you?” J accused.

“Ooooh, man, what if I do? Snitch and get a promotion from your manager?” Thanos said.

“I wish,” J sighed.

“Well, I’m up for stealing some cakes. 🎵 Cake heist, daylight, I don’t even crouch — Whole server mad when I chill on my couch 🎵. ”

“There’s like two guys inside, and they can throw hands—”

“Nobody's gonna take you seriously, girl. You’ve been nerfed a lot after the demotion and lost full control of this game,” Thanos taunted.

“And I still got some smarts in my program,” J retorted. “Way more useful than your mind.”

“How’s that gonna work? The author’s too stupid to write a smart character anyway,” Thanos said.

“...where did that even come from?” J said.

“Source is… I made it the fuck up,” Thanos posed before leaving, since he was already caught.

(CONFESSIONAL) J:

“Seriously, I can’t even control the game at this point. Everyone knew the fuck-ups I’ve done in the last season… I still wonder how I got away with it.”

Trevor and Ryder were waiting in the lodge for a certain worker to appear.

“It’s been twenty minutes, Busta. Where did he run off to?” Ryder complained.

“No idea, he should’ve been coming right now,” Trevor replied.

The door opens.

“Ah, finally! It’s—”

“Huh?” Pucca tilted her head.

“Oh, it’s you. Never mind,” Trevor sighed.

Pucca only came here to pick up something before leaving again.

“I’m gonna flip if no homie is here to fix our broken bathroom, like for real, bro. It’s an emergency,” Ryder kept yapping. “It’s been broken for like… what? Three days?”

“I’m sure it’s—”

Suddenly—BOOM!

They peeked outside the room to notice someone carrying an entrance door, which was no longer in the doorframe.

“Somebody called the plumber?” The monotone voice asked Trevor.

“You ripped the door open,” Trevor deadpanned.

“Oh. Sorry for that. I don’t know whether to pull or push the door,” The plumber said.

“At least show your face,” Ryder commanded.

It’s a male figure with a black bowl-cut and has a mark drawn on his face.

“Are you really the plumber?” Trevor asked.

“I’m Mash Burnedead. I was tasked to fix the bathroom. I think you called one, right?” Mash introduced.

“Yup, bathroom’s that way,” He pointed out.

“Where should I put the door?” Mash asked.

“Right there,” Trevor commanded.

Mash placed the door on the wall and headed toward the bathroom. He didn’t tear the door open this time because Ryder opened it for him to enter.

The plumber intern set up a toolbox. He held his wrench like a magic wand as he was in front of a toilet, full of determination in his eyes.

“He told me plumbing is like a magic… with metal…” Mash said to himself.

He twisted his wrench.

CLANG. CRANK. WOOSH! FLOOSH! BOOM!

The toilet was ripped out of the floor like a soda tab. Water and steam burst everywhere. Ryder burst in.

“WHAT THE HECK DID YOU DO?!” Ryder yelled.

“Uhh, I don’t recall that twisting the nut would end with this disaster,” Mash nervously added.

“You’re not really a plumber, are you?” Trevor questioned.

“Eyepatch Pops gave me this duty in the last second. I’m sorry,” Mash apologized.

“Of course,” Trevor sighed.

The water was still leaking from the pipe, and the bathroom was pretty much ankle-deep in water.

“Uh, if you don’t mind. I gotta go. I have other things to finish,” Mash bowed at them politely before leaving. “Thanks for having me.”

(CONFESSIONAL) RYDER:

“How is he a damn plumber? He looked like Harry Potter on crack. He’s not suited for this job, bro!”

Meanwhile, Chef Hatchet was in the cafeteria, wondering why it was quiet. (Nobody was present.)

“Damn, maggots. I’ve worked hard to prepare those seaweed jerkies, and they didn’t come and taste them?” The chef complained. “Where did they go?”

Unaware of him, Mama cooked takoyaki outside the back of the cafeteria. Plenty of campers, even the interns, gathered to join the feast.

“Mmmm, this is so good!” Maya complimented.

“Aw, thanks!” Mama said.

“This is fine, I guess,” Malina said.

“Does combining takoyaki with rice make a good combo?” Bashame asked Kiryu.

“Uh…” He wasn’t sure how to answer.

“This stuff is so peak,” Ibuki said, while she was in tears.

Steve was happily chewing on his 6948th takoyaki. Pucca recently joined the feast and ate her snacks.

“Where did Mama get a lot of those supplies from?” Maya asked.

“Good question. Did she just break into the food storage and snag ‘em?” The spy assumed.

Law and Paul were whistling, totally not being responsible for taking a lot of food ingredients from the chef and handing them to Mama. Majima walks in.

“Oi, where the heck have you been?” Majima yelled before he stopped. “Hey, that takoyaki smells like a bomb. Give me some bite!” 

“Here you go, captain!”

“Damn, this is good,” Majima said, tasting the food.

“Heck yeah, it is! It was a blessing to have her cook the meal for us instead of Hatchet,” Law laughed.

“True, bro,” Paul followed.

“Wait, what the frick are you two doing here? Get back to work!” Majima shouted.

“YES, CAPTAIN!” Law and Paul do a salute before leaving.

“Oh, by the way, tell everyone to gather at the main area in a few hours for your next challenge.” Majima's voice was muffled from those takoyakis.

The sixteen campers gathered in the main area, finding out that Bugs Bunny is no longer in the game.

“Take a good look, campers! Bugs Bunny, our favorite hospital bill evader, is now gone!” Majima announced.

“Aw, man, not Bugs,” Bashame said.

(CONFESSIONAL) J:

“Well, at least that makes my day better.”

(CONFESSIONAL) GORDON:

He paid his respects to the loss with some gestures.

“Man, I’m stuffed,” Majima said.

“What’s up with that equipment?” Spy pointed out.

“A very vital part of your current challenge. Okay, campers. Who’s up to spend a night in the random cabin located in the middle of the tropical island filled with potential dangers?” Majima asked, and nobody responded.

“Not my suit,” Heisuke nervously added.

“Dude, relax, there’s no bear around… from what I’ve heard,” Majima reassured.

“Bears don’t exist in Hawaii,” Kiryu pointed out.

“Yup, exactly! No need to worry,” Majima grinned.

“What do we do?” Diana asked.

“Have an outdoor activity and spend a night in the cabin; you’re going to have to look around for resources, though. Once the day is over, get back here in the morning to secure your win.” Majima instructed. “The last team with their full members to arrive must send one of their members out of the game.”

He grabbed the equipment and tossed it to each team.

“Y’all get a compass, a map, and a few survival kits inside. The compass will guide you to the cabin site. Don’t get lost! Good luck and have fun!”

And just like that, Majima had already left the area.

“Best of luck to all of you, bros!” Thanos said.

The Squids head east, the Jellyfish head north, and the Barracudas head west.

Gordon held a compass to guide his teammates to their cabin, and he was in the front. J was surveying her team very carefully. Diana took notice.

“Uh, J? Is something the matter?” Diana asked.

“I’m just watching you guys in case you got lost, and I’ll be there to pick you up,” J muttered.

“Aw, that’s so cool of you!” Diana giggled.

“Pfft, no way someone would eventually get lost,” Yzma retorted.

She noticed the eyebags below Yzma’s eyes.

“Uh, did you sleep last night?” Diana asked with concern.

“Yup, I did have a peaceful slumber,” Yzma replied.

“Okaaaay, why do you have eyebags then? And you seem really tired too,” Diana pointed out.

“Oh, I try to make myself look stylish, but I slipped and painted something under my eyes,” Yzma lied.

“Ah, okay, if that’s what you wanted,” Diana said.

(CONFESSIONAL) YZMA:

“Nobody deserves to know about my… uh… little strategy . All the nights I have sacrificed for would have gone to waste. I hope she’s that naive to believe me.”

“Oh, guys, berries!” Heisuke was far behind when he found the berries.

“HEY, NO! Get back here!” J yelled.

“EEYIKES! Coming!” Heisuke replied.

“See what I said?” J smirked.

“Whatever,” Yzma growled.

Gordon could only sigh quietly.

“Geez, Heisuke, you have to pay attention,” Diana sighed.

“Sorry, I couldn’t miss them; they looked fine,” Heisuke added. “I managed to snag some of it.”

“Those look… toxic to eat,” Diana said.

“Huh? How can you tell? It’s edible,” Heisuke said.

“Hey, J! Can you scan these?”

J scanned the berries and they’re indeed poisonous.

“Nope, toxic. Toss it away.” J ordered.

“Okay…” Heisuke frowned and threw the berries away.

(CONFESSIONAL) HEISUKE:

“Aw, man, and I thought I already found the food resources for all of us.”

(CONFESSIONAL) J:

“See, the thing is. I wanna lie the naive guy and say the berry is fine to eat for the funny, but that’s just gonna throw myself in Davy Jones’ locker if they figure out that I purposefully got him poisoned.”

Spy was leading his group to their cabin. His teams managed to stay intact and won’t get lost.

“Man, I’m tired from all that walking,” Thanos complained.

“Please, we climbed to the top of the hill a few days ago when we lost the previous challenge,” The Spy remarked. “This problem is manageable than the former.”

“And I see you complaining about your suit getting all sweaty, bro,” Thanos shot back.

(CONFESSIONAL) SPY:

*Sigh* “Damn, child. Reminds me of a certain scout.”

“Does anyone want to know why Mama was carrying an entire cooking set?” Maya said to her team.

They turned around to see Mama carrying a fat stack of cooking set in her backpack.

“What? It’s for cooking,” Mama said.

“Why bother her? She can cook us a better meal than eating an undercooked meat of a prairie dog,” Malina muttered.

“You’re very far behind, dude. Catch up!” Thanos called her out.

“I am ,” Malina growled.

“Guys, let’s switch topic! Do you think the cabin that we will stay in is better than ours?” Maya said.

“Well, the point is. The cabin we’ll be staying in is a part of the challenge; it’s gonna be a hot garbage dump like Wawanakwa’s cabin,” Malina assumed.

“Eugh, I still wonder how you guys managed to withstand that,” Mama asked.

“I didn’t even get to stay in Wawanakwa for a day. I think I’m good,” Malina replied.

“Gotcha, log girl,” Thanos replied.

The spy stopped Malina from tearing Thanos’ body apart.

“Ugh, fine,” Malina sighed.

Kiryu was leading his group to their cabin. A pair of Trevor's hands was on Kiryu’s shoulder. I mean, looking at the back, there was a train chain with Ryder being last.

“Why did we agree to this?” Trevor questioned himself.

“Call it a strategy, Treffy! With our arms glued to another person, that person won’t go alone and be lost!” Ibuki said, and Trevor’s eye twitched at the mention of his familiar nickname.

Yeah, it was Ibuki’s idea to not have anyone get lost, and Kiryu didn’t object to her plan somehow.

“This is ridiculous, bro,” Ryder complained, followed by Pucca’s giggle.

“Well, it was effective, right?” Kiryu tried to calm them.

“Yeeees!” Bashame said.

“Whatever, Busta,” Ryder sighed.

“Left,” Kiryu commanded.

“Turn left, choo-choo!” Ibuki shouted.

“Lower your volume, dude! Are you trying to get some wild animal to kill us?” Ryder warned her.

“Okie, sorry!” Ibuki apologized.

(CONFESSIONAL) TREVOR:

“If Alucard is lurking around and disguising himself as a monster again. I wasn’t joking when I said I’ll kill his ass.”

The Squids found their cabin, which was smaller compared to their cabin.

“Woo, our cabin! We found it!” Heisuke celebrated.

“Enough cheering, boy.” Yzma stopped him.

The Squids got to the front door, and the door wouldn’t budge when Gordon tried to open it.

“Door’s stuck?” Diana said.

“Shank, shank, shank, shank, shank!”

They looked at Heisuke weirdly when he did a stabbing motion and a sound.

“What? Y’all don’t get the reference?” Heisuke said.

“None of us did. Stop acting like a moron and help us,” J said.

Heisuke simply kicked the door open.

“Okay, let’s set up our equipment,” Yzma declared.

“Wait, no ‘thank you’ for me?” Heisuke frowned. “Aw, ok.”

“Thank you, Heisuke. I actually meant it!” Diana giggled.

“Well?” J said.

“Well, what?” Yzma responded.

“We’re going to look for food, no? The thing is, I only drink oil,” J shrugged.

“Are you suggesting that we look for resources while you’re hanging in the ceiling because you don’t eat meat?” Yzma sneered.

“Of course, not. I’m going to help. For real,” J corrected her.

“Eugh, the bathroom’s gross,” Heisuke was disgusted.

“And the bed isn’t that comfy either,” Diana followed.

Gordon commanded everyone to work together.

It was now Barracuda’s turn to find their cabin. The door wasn’t budged when Spy opened it. They were met by bats and dust.

“Wah!” Mama jumped back.

“Eeeew!” Thanos coughed.

“Ugh, it’s dirty,” The Spy grimaced.

“Yeah, this place looks abandoned for ages,” Maya said.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get to cleaning!” Mama offered herself.

“And where do you think you’re going?” Malina called Thanos out.

He was trying to sneak out to avoid doing the chore.

“Just for some fresh air, lady!” Thanos excused.

“More like avoiding work,” The Spy said.

“There’s so much junk inside, we should throw it out,” Maya claimed.

“Alright, let’s get to work, ladies and gentlemen,” The Spy said. “Make sure that nobody runs off, or they’ll get lost.”

“Aye,” Malina sighed.

(CONFESSIONAL) THANOS:

“I’d rather go back to rapping.”

(CONFESSIONAL) MALINA:

“This takes me back to my horrible days. I hope this duty isn’t permanent.”

The Jellyfish found their cabin, but they are missing someone.

“Oi, where did that demon-girl go?” Ryder said.

“Demon? Malina? She’s not in our team,” Bashame said.

“No, Busta. I’m talking about Ay-boo-kin or something,” Ryder corrected her.

“Let’s put our bag inside first, then we can go look for Ibuki,” Kiryu commented.

Everyone obeyed his order and opened the door to their cabin.

“BOO!”

Trevor and Kiryu weren’t fazed, but the rest were definitely spooked. Ibuki was already inside and wanted to scare them.

“Seriously? At this day?” Trevor deadpanned.

Pucca was red-faced in anger. Not happy about her prank.

“OH, FUCK YOU!” Ryder shouted.

“Ibuki. We were worried that you disappeared for a while,” Kiryu sighed.

“Sorry! Ibuki wouldn’t want to miss her opportunity to prank her friends! Ibuki found a way to sneak inside to start the setup!” Ibuki defended herself.

“Well, it wasn’t funny, Busta. Now, move. We gotta live in this junk for a night,” Ryder groaned.

“Damn, you’re covered in webs,” Trevor pointed out.

“Oooh, right,” Ibuki rubbed her head.

(CONFESSIONAL) IBUKI:

“Ibuki swore she didn’t see any web slinging around the cabin when Ibuki entered through the chimney!”

A few hours later. Every team has cleaned their dirty cabin to make it spotless, and they’re hunting for resources.

“Why am I seriously hunting for a meal? Why can’t we just pick some fruits?” Heisuke complained.

He was with Diana to hunt for food while the rest were gathering water, firewood, and other stuff.

“I wish. I feel bad for killing an animal,” Diana sighed. “J told us to search for food.”

“And what does she do? Boss around us?” Heisuke added. “No fair. When does she even elect herself as the leader?”

“Who knows, but we’re voting her off this time if we lose,” Diana said.

“Bears are not my thing,” Heisuke added.

“But I already reminded you there are no bears in Hawaii,” Diana reminded him again.

“Oh, haha, right, I forgot… what about snakes? And possibly a giant enemy spider?” Heisuke said.

“Let’s just keep searching for food,” Diana said.

“Hey, wait, what is that?” Heisuke pointed out.

There was a goat eating grass peacefully, oblivious of the camper's appearance.

“Goat? We’re capturing a goat?” Diana said.

“Hey, I heard they’re great to eat!... Even though I never ate one,” Heisuke assumed.

“I… uh… I don’t want to see the goat get butchered just so we can live for a night,” Diana commented.

Heisuke was gone.

“Heisuke?” Diana called for him.

He was sneaking up behind the prey.

“What the heck are you doing?!”

“Shh! I’m trying to catch our dinner,” Heisuke said quietly.

He got closer.

“Okay!”

He doesn’t know how to actually handle a goat, so he pulled its tail instead.

THWACK!

The goat screamed and used its hind legs to kick Heisuke, which sent him far away.

CRASH!

He crashed into the rock pillars.

“Augh…”

“Heisuke!”

“Baaah!” The goat was angered and wanted to ram toward Heisuke.

“Crap, I can’t do anything to help him. Wake up!” Diana yelled.

“Five more minutes, Mom,” Heisuke groggily said.

The goat got closer.

“EEP!”

SMACK!

Drops.

“Huh? What just happened?” Diana was confused.

Pucca knocked the goat unconscious with a slap. Well, a strong slap, I must say. She checks up on Heisuke and Diana.

“We’re fine, Pucca. Thanks for saving us,” Diana told her.

Pucca's cheeks turned pink at her compliment, and she smiled. Kiryu later appeared.

“What happened here?” Kiryu asked them.

“He got hurt from the goat who attacked us earlier,” Diana said.

“And what happened to the goat?” Kiryu questioned.

“Pucca did it. She saved us,” Diana replied.

“Ah, I see,” Kiryu said. “It’s a relief to see you are safe.”

“I’m still hurt,” Heisuke gasped.

“Oh, right,” Kiryu replied. “It’s a good thing Pucca saved you at the last second.”

Pucca giggled.

“That’s cool and all, but… how did a kid like her smack a goat like that?” Heisuke questioned them.

And there was silence. Kiryu and Pucca weren’t sure how to tell them without saying: ‘Oh yeah, Pucca has a superhuman power; she can collapse the entire island with a sneeze.’

“The goat had rabies. I think it was best to put it out of its misery,” Kiryu declared.

“Oh, make sense… well, we’re not eating that goat anymore,” Heisuke still groaned from his pain.

“Me, Pucca, and Ibuki had gathered tons of fruits recently, and we can’t hold that many. We can hand you a basket of ‘em if you want it,” Kiryu offered.

“We’d like that!” Diana gasped.

As Kiryu gave them a fruit basket. Ibuki arrived.

“Yo, gang, what’s up?” Ibuki saw the scene. “Ouch.”

She saw Heisuke.

“Yo, Ibuki wanted to see you play guitar soon!”

“Ough, um, guitar play is postponed, haha,” Heisuke nervously chuckled. “My back’s in a bad state.”

“It’s okay, you were still hurt,” Diana smiled.

“Aw, okay, have a safe recovery, buh-bye!” Ibuki left with her teammates.

(CONFESSIONAL) HEISUKE:

“Well, it’s a good thing that I have a legal excuse not to play my guitar, haha…”

The Brawling Barracudas POV.

The Spy recently returned to the cabin from his resource hunt.

“Found plenty of stuff for you to cook, madame.” The Spy placed his items on the counter.

“Hmm, these look to eat, thanks Spy!” Mama complimented.

Mama is preparing the ingredients and trying to come up with a dish for dinner. The Spy decides to call it a night and rest by the fireplace. He picked up a magazine and read it.

“This cabin challenge doesn’t seem too bad,” The Spy claimed.

Malina and Maya were seated not too far from him, killing their time with something.

“True, I guess,” Malina replied.

Maya looked around the cabin before facing them.

“Erm, I feel like… um, did anyone forget something?” Maya asked her team.

Silence.

“If you forget it, then I assume it wasn’t that important,” Malina said, sipping her water.

“Indeed,” The Spy added.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Maya shrugged. “I’m just gonna drool here until dinner’s ready.”

“Sure, just don’t snore too loud,” Malina suggested.

Just like that, Maya went to sleep.

Thanos was still outside the cabin, thinking the supply run was still ongoing.

“Man, where the hell is food? Thanos is fucking starving!”

Yzma was busy doing stuff.

CLANK!

“This is the sixth time I've hurt my thumb,” Yzma groaned.

CLANK!

“Alright, that’s the last one. I’ll conceal the hatch before I return to my cabin,” Yzma said.

She covered everything using leaves before leaving. Well, the site she was working on was near her cabin.

Later, she returned to her cabin. J and Gordon were inside and noticed Yzma.

“Where the hell have you been?” J called her out.

“Got lost. Here’s your stupid firewood. Cut ‘em with your chainsaw,” Yzma ordered.

Gordon narrowed his eyes at her thumb before focusing back on the woods. J gladly took them and started her business.

(CONFESSIONAL) GORDON:

He thinks something was up with Yzma’s thumb, probably got prickled by thorns.

Diana and Heisuke finally returned with a fruit basket. Diana was carrying him and the basket at the same time, fully exhausted. Gordon offered them help.

“Thanks, Freeman. Heisuke was attacked by a goat earlier,” Diana said.

“Man, I need a real break for this,” Heisuke claimed.

Gordon brought him to bed.

“Hey, here’s your food,” Diana offered them a basket of fruits.

“Cool, thanks. Put it on the table,” Yzma ordered.

Ryder and Trevor were out in the woods.

“Man, I tell you! Leaving her alone in the cabin was not a bright idea, you absolute Busta!” Ryder claimed.

“I was the one who told you to stay with Bashame, and instead you came here with me, and we’re apparently lost in the woods,” Trevor shot back.

“Dude, how the heck did we get lost? Do you have a short-term memory?” Ryder accused.

“Do you?” Trevor replied.

“Whatever, fool, let’s hope the others make it in time to keep watch on rice addict,” Ryder said.

He stopped at the field of mushrooms.

“Yo, is this shit edible?” Ryder asked Trevor.

“Lemme see.”

He crouched down and picked one, investigating it carefully.

“Nah, too dangerous to eat,” Trevor sighed and threw it away.

“How are you sure that it’s dangerous?” Ryder questioned him.

“Buddy, I lived in the woods for half of my years, and I knew what the heck was dangerous to eat,” Trevor remarked.

“Huh, save some nerd talk, buddy,” Ryder said.

“Ask the guy who spent his entire life smoking green stuff in his home every day,” Trevor said.

“Yo, when the heck did I say that?” Ryder said.

“Dude, your entire room smelled like a donkey yesterday,” Trevor sighed.

As the two Jellyfish men left the mushroom fields. Thanos arrived and didn’t notice them.

He’s mumbling random lyrics about his adventure, still thinking he was on a supply run despite the sun slowly descending.

Thanos stopped in his tracks when he discovered a field of very normal mushrooms.

“Ha, what’s this? Thanos discovers dinner?”

He crouched down to inspect it carefully.

“Yo, these mushroom looks lit… I’LL GET IT!” Thanos snagged a lot of the exotic mushrooms and stuffed them into his jumpsuit.

“Finally, I can return to my cabin! Woo!”

“Hey, everyone. We’re back,” Kiryu, Ibuki, and Pucca entered their cabin.

“Ooooh, yay! You’re back!”

The entire kitchen was filled with rice for some reason.

“Whooooa, did you cook this?!” Ibuki gasped.

“Bashame did everything when Trevor and Ryder left,” Bashame declared.

“Where did they go?” Kiryu asked.

“I dunnooooo, what matter is, we got riceeeee!” Bashame said.

Meanwhile, Trevor and Ryder…

“Man, how the frick did you lead us into the cave?” Ryder groaned.

“Not my damn fault that you saw a pig running around the woods and your hungry ass pulled me in the stunt,” Trevor complained.

“And you still LED us here!”

Thanos finally returned to the cabin and saw everyone minding their own business. He entered the kitchen, planning to give the mushrooms to Mama, but she wasn’t present.

“Where did she go? Hmm, probably gathering some supplies outside.”

He saw a mushroom stew being placed on a stove and being cooked. The smell was so good he almost floated like a cartoon character to follow the smell, but he prevented himself from flying.

“Smells good.”

He looked at the pot, and the stew was being cooked perfectly, and plenty of vegetables and mushrooms were floating.

“Man, this stew lacks exotic ingredients. Thanos the Great will provide some help!”

He dropped the very ‘exotic’ mushroom into Mama’s stew.

(CONFESSIONAL) THANOS:

“That mushroom I discovered looked nothing like what Mama had gathered earlier, but I can hope that she makes it so damn tasty that it makes my mouth drool.”

“You better not take a bite when it’s cooking,” Malina warned him.

“Ay, calm down. I was just smelling good stuff,” Thanos held his hands in mock surrender.

“Oh, you’ve finally woken up from your nap and left your room!” Maya said.

“Nap? My ass was outside this whole time!” Thanos said.

Heisuke was lying in his bed. Gordon was taking care of him.

“You know, man. You don’t need to act like a nurse to me,” Heisuke muttered.

Gordon shrugged as he had no plan besides looking after his injured teammate.

Diana entered the room.

“Gordon, the dinner’s ready!”

Gordon nodded and left the room. Diana entered with a plate in her hand.

“You gonna eat that?” Heisuke asked.

“Nah, I already ate some fruits before dinner was prepared,” Diana said.

“Oh, uh, thanks,” Heisuke said. “Don’t feed me, I can do this on my own.”

“I don’t plan to do that, it’s kinda weird for me,” Diana giggled.

“Same.”

He looked at the spinach puffs built horribly and took a single bite in his mouth, and he immediately vomited.

“Blegh, who the heck cooked this?!” Heisuke coughed.

“I think it was Yzma,” Diana said. “I didn’t know it was that bad because J didn’t react, and I never took one at all.”

“She’s a robot with zero taste! Yeah, I better stick to fruits,” Heisuke added.

“Sorry about that, and I just led Gordon to eat those,” Diana sighed.

“Welp, too late to stop him,” Heisuke chuckled.

Gordon is probably sick from eating those spinach puffs.

(CONFESSIONAL) GORDON:

He’s puking the puffs into the toilet badly.

Mama served everyone’s plate on the dining table.

“Dinner is served!” Mama called everyone.

“Finally, I’ve been waiting for this,” Spy said.

“Yum, these mushrooms look delicious!” Maya said.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you guys behave during this fine dining,” Spy said.

Crunch.

“Mmmwhadayasay?” Thanos’ mouth was stuffed with her food.

“Oh, fuck’s sake,” Malina growled.

“Mon dieu… Come on…” Spy facepalmed.

“No, no, they’re enjoying my meal,” Mama chuckled. “Forget them, just enjoy them.”

“Alright,” Malina said.

“Guys, I gotta go to the bathroom first.” Maya leaves the dining room.

“Oh, yes, I will prepare the desserts!” Mama returned to the kitchen.

“Man, I knew this stuff was good,” Thanos said. “Those mushrooms I found really help!”

“What mushroom? It’s the same one that we found a long time ago when you were still snoring in your bed,” Malina said.

“Hey! I told you I was outside! Did none of y’all investigate the cabin?!” Thanos shouted back.

“Less shouting, more eating,” Spy groaned.

“I’m worried for Treffy and Rider!” Ibuki said. “They went POOF for a while!”

“This is not good…” Kiryu said.

He picked up a flashlight and some supplies.

“You girls will stay in this cabin. I’ll head out to look for them,” Kiryu said.

The three girls gave a nod as they watched Kiryu leave.

“Do you think Mr. Kiryu will find them in time?” Bashame said.

Pucca nodded, believing he would return with their lost teammates.

Maya returned to the dining room and took her seat, only to notice Malina was behaving weirdly before she could get a bite.

“Uh, Malina? Are you feeling well?” Maya asked.

Suddenly, Malina turned to Maya with a big smile.

“Haaaaaay, Mayaaaaa! What’s gooooood?” Malina said, in an unusual mood.

“Malina? What? You’re not usually that happy…” Maya assumed. “Wait, don’t tell me… Mama’s cooking was so good that you valued your life!”

“Exactlyyyyyyy! Right, Spy?” Malina told Spy, who woke up recently.

Thanos was still asleep with his face on the table.

“Indeed, madame angel.” Spy was acting odd as well. “Let us bloody toast with these mushroooooooms!”

“Yeaaaaaah!” Malina cheered loudly.

“Okaaaay, I think the two of you need some check-ups,” Maya told them.

CRASH!

“What was that?!”

It was a glass that fell from the counter.

“Oh, haha, false alarm. We didn’t meet any ghost.”

Malina and Spy went missing.

“Where did you go?!” Maya tried to find them.

Suddenly, she smelled something weird.

“Huh… what’s that smell…?” Maya sniffed hard enough. “Wait… GASOLINE?!”

She turned and noticed Malina and Spy pouring gasoline they found in the generator room on the floor and set the building on fire.

“WHAAAAAAA?! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS?!” Maya shouted.

She pulled the tablecloth effectively without spilling everything and tried to fight the fire.

“IT’S NOT WORKING! YOU GUYS GOTTA DO SOMETHING!”

Malina and Spy weren’t too fazed by the situation as they kept pouring the gasoline. Mama entered the room.

“What is going on? I heard something about fire — OH MY GOODNESS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, SPY AND MALINA?!” Mama screamed.

“HELP! THEY’RE GOING CRAZY AND WE NEED TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!” Maya screamed.

Mama and Maya tried to fight the fire off, and well, the fire was too strong to be stopped.

“Nothing is working!” Mama said. “Where’s Thanos?!”

“Eugh…?”

Thanos woke up.

“Yo, gang, what’s up with the smell? It smells crispy — WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED HERE?!” Thanos panicked.

“The cabin’s on fire! We must extinguish it!” Mama said.

“WHAT?! WE MUST PUT OUT THE FIRE!” Thanos screamed.

“WHO TOOK THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER AWAY?!” Maya complained. “IT WAS RIGHT THERE A FEW SECONDS AGO!”

“NO WAY! I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!” Mama defended herself. “Wait, was there even a fire extinguisher here in the first place?!”

Thanos looked around in panic.

“DON’T WORRY, I HAVE A NEW SOLUTION!” Thanos replied.

He left for the generator room.

“Yo, is that cabin on fire?” The chef asked Majima.

“Huh? Where?”

The Barracuda’s cabin was indeed on fire.

“Oh, must’ve been electrical failure,” Majima said. “I think they made it out safely. Forgot which team stayed in that cabin.”

The chef could only sigh.

Maya and Mama didn’t do well.

“I think we should leave!” Maya suggested.

“What happened to Thanos?” Mama told her.

“I AM BACK WITH A GREAT SOLUTION!” Thanos chimed in with a container.

Instead of bringing water, he poured gasoline to fight the fire.

“WAAAAAH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Mama yelled.

“OH MY GOD, HE HAS GONE CRAZY TOO!” Maya shouted.

“I’M POURING WATER!” Thanos yelled.

“THAT’S NOT WATER!” Mama yelled.

Eventually, the fire got worse.

“Guys, enough panicking! We need to evacuate from this cabin, asap!” Maya told her team.

“How are they going to listen to us when they’re acting crazy?” Mama said.

“Uh, UHHHHH!”

The fire has finally caught up with the gas tank.

“Oh, shit—”

The explosion caused the other two cabins' guests to jolt awake.

“WAAAH?! What happened here?!” Heisuke said.

“EEP! That scared me!” Diana said.

Kiryu was still searching when he heard the explosion.

“Nani?!” He immediately ran toward the source of the explosion.

“Ay, what was that? Is that our cabin?” Ryder told Trevor.

“Shit… I think it might be ours… or not. Let’s just pray to Jesus that they will make it out alive,” Trevor said.

They saw Kiryu.

“Hey, look! We found Kiryu!”

“Quick, follow him! He’s heading to the burning cabin!”

Some time later.

The three men gathered at the collapsed Barracudas’ cabin.

“Crap, I think we were too late,” Kiryu said.

“They might’ve made it out,” Trevor said. “Also, it’s great that we found you.”

“Is this our cabin?” Ryder asked him.

“No, I don’t recall it’s ours. The Jellyfish cabin is that way,” Kiryu pointed out.

“Well, it’s either the Barracudas or the Squids to cause these,” Trevor said. “I think we’re done with our investigation. The feet have been killing me.”

“Mm, alright, don’t get lost,” Kiryu said.

Tomorrow morning.

Majima and Chef Hatchet were waiting in the main area.

“Did you ever consider checking out the cabin to see if anyone makes it out alive?” Chef suggested.

“I already did! I told the interns to investigate everything, and not a single body was found. I forgot whose team rented that cabin,” Majima said.

“YOOHOO! WE’RE HERE!”

The Jellyfish Jokers arrived to claim their first place.

“Nice job, Jokers! You’re the first team to survive the night in the cabin and return safely here! You’ll get a nice reward later,” Majima grinned.

“Yaaaay, we won a reward again!” Ibuki cheered.

“Nicely done, everyone,” Kiryu complimented his team.

“Yeah, but I still hate you for waking us up that early ,” Ryder complained.

“Oh, be happy will ya?!” Trevor scoffed.

Rumble.

“Oh, the second team arrived. I wonder who it will be?” Majima thought.

“WAH!”

Heisuke was pushed to the ground.

“Augh, that still frickin’ hurts, you know!” Heisuke yelled.

Gordon offered his hand to help Heisuke and apologized to him. The rest of the Squids arrived safely.

“Damn, man, sorry that you didn’t get a prize. But you are the second to arrive, so you’re immune to the elimination!” Majima announced.

“Wait, we’re safe? Apology accepted, Freeman!” Heisuke smiled.

“We still didn’t get a prize,” Yzma groaned.

“Who cares?! We won!” Heisuke replied.

“I wonder what the explosion was from yesterday,” Diana thought.

“Ooooh, was it from the Barracudas?” Bashame assumed.

“That’s what I thought as well,” Yzma said. “I wonder if those crooks survived.”

“Funny, they just arrived,” J said.

The Barracudas did arrive in the main area, but they were covered in soot and ashes from the explosion. Malina, Spy, and Thanos were no longer crazy. They were not happy.

“Damn, I didn’t think a night in the cabin would smoke y’all that hard,” Majima grunted. “But you were the last team to arrive, soooooo vote someone out tonight!”

The Barracudas groaned in agony.

“Okay, Jokers! Meet up with Steve, and he will provide you with the rewards. Ta-ta, everyone!”

The Barracudas gathered at the cafeteria for an obvious reason.

“Alright, speak up, what the hell happened last night?” Spy asked his team.

“Whoooa, don’t ask me, boys and girls, I did nothing.” Thanos does a mock surrender.

“We found you three going crazy and set the cabin on fire, and… you blew us up,” Maya deadpanned.

“Wait, huh? Sure, I’m fuckin’ scary to look at, but I wouldn’t stoop that low to set the building on fire,” Malina scoffed.

“But you did! Along with Spy and Thanos!” Mama accused.

“I can’t believe we have three arsonists in the game already,” Maya cried.

“Arsonist??? Girl? Are you mad? I’m a certified rapper, not a criminal!” Thanos defended himself.

“Plus, I’m not a fan of burning stuff… damn, those Pyros…” Spy huffed.

“DO YOU THREE NOT REMEMBER ANYTHING?!” Mama yelled.

Silence.

The three of them quietly shook their heads.

(CONFESSIONAL) THANOS:

“Well, shit. I can’t remember anything. I think I can safely say that I’m not responsible for these hallucinations.”

“Okay, assuming we actually did this… did you try anything to stop us?” Thanos asked.

“How? The whole cabin’s on fire, and they were blocking our way to pull you out!” Maya said.

“Forget it! What we want to know is how we start acting like a maniac?” Spy asked everyone.

“Don’t ask me, my memory’s still hazy,” Malina yawned.

The five of them were thinking hard.

“Wait…”

“Huh?”

“It’s the dinner!” Maya pointed out. “I saw you guys ate them.”

“How?” Spy was curious. “Fill me the details.”

“You guys were served by Mama’s stew and ate it, and it didn’t affect me because I went to the bathroom without taking a single bite!” Maya claimed. “I think one of the ingredients caused you guys to act differently!”

“Well, what is it, then?” Malina asked.

“Hmm…”

They turned to Spy.

“Not me! I gave her the vegetables!” Spy defended himself.

“He did…” Mama said. “Then…”

“It’s the mushrooms… right? You found those and fed us with it!” Thanos pointed his finger at Mama dramatically.

“Wha—what? M-Me?” Mama was shocked.

“Yeah, you cooked those mushroom stew, didn’t you? You drugged us this whole time!” Thanos accused.

“I-I did cook the mushroom stew, but I didn’t think it was that—” Mama tried to defend herself.

“That’s… that’s true…” Maya said.

“No, not you!” Mama yelped.

“Mon dieu, at one point, she was the best cook, and now she’s drugging us,” The spy sighed.

“No! I could’ve sworn the mushroom was safe to eat!” Mama defended herself.

“Uuuugh, fuck, I don’t want to imagine what I was like when I was tripping,” Malina groaned.

“Indeed, it’s probably humiliating for us to learn,” Spy said.

“That production team might have the footage, man. I can’t live this down,” Thanos said.

Mama looked at Maya with a pleading look, trying to secure her innocence.

“Mama, it’s… uh… I…” Maya sighed. “I’m sorry, you fed us the mushrooms…”

(CONFESSIONAL) MAMA:

“This is so over…”

They reached the top of the hill for their second trip. The chef is holding a tray of four marshmallows this time.

“Yo, welcome back, Barracudas! Enjoying the second loss in a row after your explosive adventure in the woods?” Majima grunted.

“Get to the ▶️.” Spy complained.

“Ah, geez! I was playing. You’re no fun. CHEEEEF! Do your thing!” Majima commanded.

“Spy and Malina. You decide to be in a happy mood by starting the fire with the gasoline from the storage room. I can’t believe it, but we spent days building that just for the challenge, and you guys toasted it!”

“Not our damn fault.” Spy and Malina quickly said.

“Mama. Accident or not. You still served those questionable mushrooms and caused everyone to act weird, and there’s no way you can escape these consequences.”

“I told you that stew was everything but dangerous!” Mama defended herself, but nobody believed her.

“Thanos. Your solution to stopping the fire crisis was to pour more gasoline into them, and the fire eventually reached the gas leak, causing the cabin to explode.”

“We were high indirectly, dumbass.” Thanos scoffed. “Thanos the great will never do drugs.”

“Okay, that’s all. Four marshmallows for the night, and one of you will be walking the plank. If I call your name, take a bite! The first marshmallow goes to… Maya!”

“Thanks!” She almost dropped her marshmallow.

“Malina.”

Malina caught hers without saying a word.

“And Thanos.”

“Wooo!” He caught his prize.

“Spy and Mama. I have the final marshmallow. Okay, forget the dramatic mood. Imma just call out the last safe person. The final marshmallow goes to…”

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

“Spy! Come and take one!”

“Of course!” The spy caught his marshmallow. Mama frowned.

“Bye, Mama. It was good having you,” Majima said.

“Sorry for everything, guys,” Mama said quietly.

“Sad to see you go, lady. Sadly, the plank’s waiting for you!” Majima said.

“Okay, I’ll be there,” Mama sighed.

Majima was about to follow Mama until he froze in his spot.

“Oh, yeah, wasn’t she the one who made that bomb takoyaki in the morning?” Majima said.

“Yeah, it’s good!” Maya said.

“Sure does. Mr. Hatchet’s seaweed jerky was terrible. Mama cooks the real food,” The spy claimed. “Beside that stew.”

“Yo, you guys have a takoyaki feast while I have to resort to stealing Jellyfish’s cake?!” Thanos gasped. “How dare you not invite me?!”

“The first time I didn’t consider cannibalism, to be honest,” Malina added.

“Oh, okay, good to know.” Majima gave them a thumbs-up. “Y’all can return to your lodge now.”

The chef only raised his eyebrow. Later, they caught up with Mama, who was on the plank and about to jump off.

“Wait… Yo, hold up there, lady!” Majima stopped the cook from jumping.

“Huh?” Mama said.

“Get over here.” He gestured for her to come and leave the plank.

Mama followed his instruction and stood beside him.

“Uh, what are you planning to do, host?” The chef asked.

“Chef, my man. To put it simply, yer fired,” Majima said.

“WHAT?!”

“You’re walking up the plank now, pal,” Majima grinned.

“What the hell?! I ain’t been eliminated and not a part of this game show!” The chef complained.

“I would’ve kept ya if your dish didn’t taste like an expired glue stick.” The host shrugged.

“And you can’t just replace me with some apron lady!” The chef fought back.

“Wanna bet, soup-for-brains?”

He grabbed the Chef’s collar and brought him to the plank despite the notable size difference.

“Honestly, why the heck did I hire you as a chef when you cook like a dump truck every morning? Consider this a punishment from your manager,” Majima said.

“YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME, MAJIMA! I’M A TRAINED PROFESSIONAL CHEF AND WENT TO A MILITARY SCHOOL! HECK, I WAS THE ONE WHO RECRUITED YOU TO HOST—”

“And Mama went to a Flavor Town. GET OFF MY DAMN SHOW!”

He mad-dogged the Chef off the plank.

“AAAAAAOUGH!”

SPLASH!

Mama just blinked.

“Okay, you’re now our new chef! Feel free to make yourself at home as long as you don’t interfere with the game or make another dogshit meal like those stew!” Majima grinned.

“Sweet! Thanks, Majima! And don’t worry! I’ll do my best to make my customers happy!” Mama said as she was in tears.

She left after knowing she wouldn’t leave the island by dropping off a 100-foot drop cliff because she just got a new job.

“Mama has been fully expelled from the game! Instead of jumping off the plank, she gets hired as our main chef because she cooks better than Hatchling—something I forgot. Fifteen campers remain! Who’s getting to actually walk the plank after this? Find out on the next episode of Total. Drama! CAMPERS IN HAWAII!”

Diana and Heisuke were talking in Heisuke’s room.

“I think I can recover in a few days. Just don’t worry about it,” Heisuke reassured.

“You told me that for the 8th time today,” Diana pouted.

“Well, at least our night in the woods went fine besides getting rammed by a goat, or eating Yzma’s puff.” Heisuke chuckled.

“Real lucky. We can thank Kiryu again for this, or else we’ll be standing here with a sick stomach,” Diana replied.

“Haha, true. Thanks, Kiryu-san!” Heisuke said. “Isn’t it too late right now?”

“Oh, sorry! I spent the whole night in your room. See ya tomorrow, Heisuke! Looking forward to learning more about you!” Diana waved goodbye.

She shut the door, and Heisuke is alone. He sat up on his bed and stretched his hands.

“She might be the first camper I’ve interacted with a lot,” Heisuke said.

Crack.

He stomped on the document that Diana failed to notice.

“ Oh, right, I forgot about the mission I took a very long time ago before I took a break by joining this game, ” Heisuke thought. “ I’m so glad Diana didn’t discover it. ”

He opened the document and read his briefing again. Something about assassination a certain target.

“Hmm… oh, that mission …”

He sighed and put the document back in his guitar case.

“Who the heck is Dragon of Dojima? Sure, he is scary, but I never got any details on what he looks like; they didn’t show me a description or a picture of my target at all.”

He put his guitar case somewhere safe.

“It’s not like my target is present on this island right now. Damn, I’m tired.”

He went back to his bed and closed his eyes into a peaceful slumber.

[END]

CONFESSIONAL VOTES

Mama: “I’ve failed everyone as a home cook. I deserved this.” (MAMA)

Thanos: “Yo, that stew was not a hit!” (MAMA)

Maya: “I’m sorry…” (MAMA)

Spy: “It will be a real shame that we lose her tonight because we’ll be eating Mr. Hatchet’s disgusting slop forever.” (MAMA)

Malina: “I loved your food, I guess. But I can’t forgive those stews.” (MAMA)

ELIMINATION ORDER

18th - Tom - The Salty Squids (3-3; lost tiebreaker)

17th - Bugs Bunny - The Brawling Barracudas (3-2-1)

16th - Mama - The Brawling Barracudas (5-0)

REMAINING CAMPERS

The Salty Squids: Diana Venicia - Gordon Freeman - Heisuke Mashimo - Serial Designation J - Yzma

The Brawling Barracudas: Malina - Maya Fey - Spy - Thanos

The Jellyfish Jokers: Ibuki Mioda - Kazuma Kiryu - Meme Bashame - Pucca - Ryder - Trevor Belmont

Chapter Text

“Last time on Total Drama: Campers in Hawaii! Sixteen campers were given a map and compass, and more stuff that’s forgotten. They were tasked to spend a night in the cabin located in the woods. Many scary things… okay, I lied. It’s just Ibuki doing a cheap jump scare. Then, we have Heisuke brutally attacked by a goat after he pulled its tail. I can say that he deserved that punishment. Trevor and Ryder were stupid and got lost in the woods before they found Kiryu. Oh, oh, here comes my favorite highlight! Mama served everyone the mushroom stew, and what happened? Three freaks committed arson instead of complimenting her cooking skills, which led to her elimination! Also, yeah, the part where I hired the new chef is my actual favorite highlight, not those mushroom stews. Hell, I’ll even insult Yzma’s spinach puffs as well. Anyway, with Mama being eliminated and recently hired as a chef, we’re down to fifteen remaining! Who’s getting their boat sailed this time? Find out on this episode of Total. Drama! CAMPERS IN HAWAII!”

[INTRO]

The cafeteria was full of life and chatter as they were served a good breakfast ever since Chef Hatchet was demoted and expelled from the island.

“Woooow, I love eating rice,” Bashame said, having a bowl of rice mountain.

“Does this girl eat anything besides rice? And where’s the topping?” Maya questioned.

“I ain’t know stuff about her,” Ryder sighed. “Girl’s creeping me out with her bottomless stomach.”

“From what I’ve known so far. Mushroom was the only topping she had used. That’s it,” Trevor answered.

Maya slowly scoots away from the mention of mushrooms.

(CONFESSIONAL) MAYA:

“Eugh… still having those jeepy-jeebies from the mushroom stews. I know, I didn’t become a victim of it.”

The cafeteria guests were living and eating in harmony until Thanos’ nation attacked and kicked the door open as his epic entrance.

“Yo, morning bros—”

He froze in his spot when he noticed that Mama was serving them breakfast instead of Chef Hatchet.

“Oh, hi,” Mama waved.

“WHY THE FREAK ARE YOU HERE?!” Thanos called her out.

“Is that how you treat our new chef? Have some manners!” Diana told him.

“No way, Jose. She drugged us with those mushrooms yesterday!” Thanos said. “C’mon! Ask Spy and Malina for confirmation.”

“Nah.” Spy and Malina declined in unison and went back to eat their breakfast.

“I think you might be lying, Busta,” Ryder said.

“No, I am not,” Thanos huffed.

(CONFESSIONAL) MAYA:

“I think they pretty much hate Thanos.”

“Look, can we forget about the mushrooms? Let us enjoy our breakfast,” Maya suggested.

“Yeah, so, are you in? No mushroom,” Mama said.

“Fine, this better be good!” Thanos grumbled before he joined the line full of hungry interns. “Man, I hate waiting!”

On the table. Gordon tapped Heisuke’s shoulder.

“What is it, bro?”

He pointed at Yzma as they left the cafeteria.

“What’s up with her?”

“She just finished with her breakfast. What’s wrong with that?” Diana asked.

Gordon gestured something about the thumb in pain and referred it to Yzma’s other thumb injury.

“Uh, I couldn’t get to understand what you meant about your thumb and Yzma.” Heisuke rubbed his head.

“Yeah, we can’t understand you,” Diana said.

Gordon hung his head down.

“Alright, I’m outta here for some cigs,” Spy claimed as he left the cafeteria.

“Well, if there’s nothing else to discuss, I’m heading back to the block’s tower,” Trevor said.

“Steve’s home? Do you just not live in your lodge anymore?” Malina asked.

“Our lodge was flooded yesterday, thanks to an unregistered plumber,” Trevor sighed. “We’re staying in his quarter now. That’s our reward for winning the cabin challenge.”

“And how was it?” Malina said.

“It’s fine, I guess. The toilet’s working,” Trevor shrugged.

“Hey, Heisuke. I was thinking we’d head out so we can talk more!” Diana suggested as she left her seat.

“Huh—oh yeah, sure!” Heisuke followed her.

(CONFESSIONAL) THANOS:

“I feel like those two got something going on… Gasp… perhaps… it might be a secret meeting to start their black market trading? Or just a secret alliance meeting?”

“Uh…” Mama said.

“Hey, are you done? I need to pick up my breakfast.” Kiryu is behind Thanos.

“WAH, uh, oh! Yeah, whatever. Take your meal,” Thanos huffed and left the line without taking his breakfast.

Half an hour has passed. Everyone was doing their thing.

Yzma was working on… her strategy when she was alone.

Pucca was being careful with her strength and was still following Kiryu’s advice.

Law and Paul were trying their best to fix the water leak in Jellyfish’s lodge, but hilariously failed.

Chef Hatchet was stranded in the middle of the sea… nah, just kidding. The boat was carrying him.

Malina and Trevor were interacting in the mini-resort, potentially allying the moment the teams were disbanded.

Ibuki still took Malina’s ‘advice’ by heart and hung around the tree.

Maya tries to find Mama to cook more takoyaki for her.

Majima walks in.

“Alright, get those filler texts of MY DAMN EYE! Challenge time, bros! Head to the lake in two minutes!” Majima announced with a megaphone.

Not that long enough, every camper was found sitting on a bleacher tower located in the middle of the lake. There’s a red button in front of them. Majima raised his platform and opened a box, revealing plenty of cards inside.

“Welcome to the ‘Who wants to be a millionaire’ type shit challenge! It’s your generic quiz show with a very scary punishment, and no 50/50 and lifeline option.”

“Mhm,” Everyone said.

“Since it’s that simple enough, I’ll tell you the consequences. If you get the answer wrong or the timer runs out, everyone gets pied in the face. I mean it, fellas. Everyone .”

The pie was launched from nowhere and hit Bashame’s face.

“Is this pie rice flavored?” Bashame asked.

“Where did that come from?” Maya questioned him, but she was ignored.

“If you press the button and get the answer correct, you’re free to choose anyone from the other team to eject from their seat and eliminate them from participating in the challenge. This goes on until a team loses all of their members,” Majima announced. “Which will send someone home. Understand?!”

Everyone nodded.

“Good! Let’s begin with our very first question! And I’ll tell you, most of them are related to the previous season of Total Drama Something… Man, I can’t live without thinking about that stupid name.”

He reads a card.

“The first question will be: how many times did an angry hive of bees attack Shaggy in Season 1?”

BEEP!

“Three!” Ibuki yelled.

Everyone got a pie thrown into their faces. Almost all of them were disgusted, including Spy ranting about his suit.

“Ew, what the heck?!” Yzma complained. “Why are we getting the pie? It was her team who answered it wrong!”

“I already told ya that everyone gets one no matter which team you’re in,” Majima pointed out.

“What flavor is this?” Heisuke asked.

“Apple pie baked by yours truly: Mama,” Majima told him.

“Do you think she would have a heart attack when she learns that you wasted her pie on us?” Maya said.

“Of course she would! A lot of pies are going to waste!” Malina growled.

Mama entered the staff’s quarters to see Law and Paul playing cards.

“Oh, hey, new chef! Enjoying your stay?” Law said.

“Yeah, anyway, about those hundred pies… did you enjoy it?”

Paul and Law went silent.

“Yeah, we enjoyed the pie. We told Steve to finish everything since we’re full,” Paul lied to her.

“Okay! Good to know!” Mama said.

Mama left.

“Dude, she’s gonna be so pissed if we told her the truth,” Law whispered.

“We can pin the blame on Majima, right? He was the one who ordered us to bring her pies!” Paul whispered.

“ARE YOU INSANE?! Our pinkies are gonna get chopped off!” Law whispered harshly this time.

“Y’all got the first question wrong. He was attacked twice. Now for the second question…”

He threw the previous card away to read the new one.

“Who was the first camper to arrive at Camp Wawanakwa when the first season aired?”

BEEP!

“It’s Ellis,” Trevor answered.

DING!

“Okay, boot one of these losers off their seat!”

“I’ll pick that robot lady over there,” He pointed at J.

Malina was smirking.

“Don’t you frickin’ dare—”

SPROING!

“AAAAH!”

J was launched very high from her seat.

“Don’t worry, we set up a huge cushion for their safe landing,” Majima told them. “The launch wouldn’t fly that high.”

“Are you sure?” Kiryu said.

“Pretty sure,” Majima replied.

“Are you sure…?” Kiryu said again.

“Pretty sure. Launched an intern into space at testing,” Majima said. “We did a little fix. No need to worry, Kiryu-chan.”

(CONFESSIONAL) KIRYU:

“Part of me thinks he was teasing everyone. I doubt Majima would’ve sent anyone into space.”

The intern in question was Mash, who was floating in space with an astronaut uniform in case the testing had gone wrong. A certain one-eyed orange alien floated toward him.

“Whoa, Mark, you’re back—wait, who are you?” He asked through telepathy.

“Mash Burnedead,” Mash muttered back. “Is this telepathy…?”

“Yeah, it is.”

The orange alien narrowed his eye at Mash before speaking.

“Damn, that’s a badass name. I’m Allen. You’re a Viltrumite?” Allen introduced himself.

“What’s a Viltrumite?” Mash thought.

“‘Kay,” Spy accepted the host’s answer.

“Both of us are down with four members each, while the Jokers still have everyone intact,” Diana pointed out.

“Then, let’s be smart! You can answer those, right? I didn’t watch a lot of the first season,” Heisuke admitted awkwardly.

“I knew that judging by your stupid haircut,” Yzma commented.

“Hey, it’s not that stupid!” Heisuke cried.

“Quiet, everyone! Imma reveal the next question: 77 + 33?”

BEEP!

“Oh, it’s easy!” Heisuke shouted. “It’s 100!”

SPLAT!

“You frickin’ donkey!” Yzma said.

“How did you fail that…?” Diana was confused.

“How did I lose the simple children’s math?!” Heisuke wailed.

“Is he stupid?” Malina said.

“Next question! I got no legs, no sounds, and no feelings. What am I?”

“What the heck is that?” Ibuki said.

“Think hard…” Spy said.

“Eh, it’s fish, right?” Yzma said.

DING!

“Okay! Choose your target!” Majima announced. “Oh, I forgot to mention the final rule. You can not pick the guy who answered the previous question correctly.”

“Kiryu,” Yzma said.

“Darn.”

“AW, NOOOO. NOT MY KIRYU-CHAN! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?!” Majima said.

“Come on, now…” Spy said.

“Fine!” Majima pressed the button.

SPROING!

Kiryu was launched from his seat without making a sound.

“Aw, crap! We already lost our big guy!” Ryder wailed. “We’re doomed!”

“No, we’re not, dumbass,” Trevor sighed.

“Wait, is it not plant?” Maya said.

“I just made up with that question until you guys bring anything that fits those criteria,” Majima shrugged. “Okay, next one. How many Skibi—”

BEEP!

“It’s—” Maya was cut.

“Actually, wait. Wrong question.” He tossed the card away, picking a new one. “There it is! What prize did Pen possess after winning the Deathrun challenge?”

BEEP!

“It’s a broken laundry machine,” Spy answered.

DING!

“Choose one!”

“How about that vampire slayer man?” Spy told him.

“Are you serious—”

SPROING!

Trevor was ejected from the game. Four members are remaining for all teams.

“Next question: How many times did Chris mention ‘lawsuit’ in the last season?”

“That’s an… oddly specific question,” Thanos said.

BEEP!

“But, alas! Thanos the great will answer!” Thanos claimed. “Let’s say… three!”

“Okay, yeah. It was mentioned three times. Choose someone,” Majima instructed.

“How the heck did he get that right? I thought it was mentioned at least 10 times or more!” Ibuki said.

“Lucky guesses, bro! I’ll choose that ugly hag,” He pointed at Yzma.

“I’ll cut your pinkies—”

SPROING!

Yzma was ejected from her seat, leaving the last three members for their team.

“HOW DID WE LOSE HALF OF US ALREADY?!” Heisuke panicked.

He felt a shoulder tap on him.

“WAH—”

It was Gordon Freeman.

“Oh, we forgot you were sitting with us… You haven’t said a single word,” Diana said.

(CONFESSIONAL) GORDON:

He wrote ‘I wish’ on the paper.

“Hey, Brawlers. Which team are we targeting?” Spy asked his teammates.

“Probably the Squids. They got J,” Maya said.

“Ay, I agree with that,” Thanos agreed.

“Same, I wanted her gone,” Malina sighed.

“That’s right, we’ll be removing Gordon first. Save Heisuke for last.” Thanos claimed.

“No, we need to keep Gordon,” Spy instructed. “He doesn’t speak a single word and won’t be able to answer.”

“Aaah… good plan. Good plan,” Thanos chuckled. “I forgot.”

“Next question: During the ghost hunting challenge in Season 1. Which ghost type did the Slithering Pythons identify after the hunt?”

Gordon would answer, but it would be complicated to tell.

BEEP!

“Wraith!” Thanos shouted his answer.

Everyone got pie’d.

“Oh, come on! I could’ve sworn—”

“That was Gators’ ghost,” Malina deadpanned. “The one kind where Vanoss costs his team the challenge and guesses it wrong.”

“Yeah, the real answer was Demooooon,” Bashame corrected him.

“If ya know why the heck didn’t you answer?” Ryder complained.

“I was eepy,” Bashame yawned.

“Next question: What was the prize for winning the X-treme sports challenge in the previous season?”

BEEP!

“Mobile shower,” Malina said.

DING!

“Take a pick.”

“Diana. Sorry, not sorry,” Malina commented.

“Hey!” Diana pouted.

SPROING!

Diana was launched. Heisuke is panicking this time.

“Waaaah?! Diana is gone! It’s just you and me, Freeman!” Heisuke muttered.

Gordon acknowledged it with a calm nod.

“Next question: How many times did Bugs Bunny win an individual immunity in the previous season?”

BEEP!

“It’s gotta be one. He won by surviving the hot potato challenge,” Ryder claimed.

SPLAT!

“I said individual . Team and auto-elimination don’t count!” Majima told him. “He didn’t win any.”

“Busta… this game’s rigged,” Ryder complained.

“Next question: Fill the blanks! You gotta go ___, Kido!”

Everyone’s confusion met this.

“What? It’s from my sworn brother’s motivational quote to his disciple!” Majima said.

“I feel like none of us understand it,” Spy said.

“An attempt is good exercise,” Majima shrugged.

BEEP!

“Go crazy?” Ibuki assumed.

SPLAT!

“Wrong. It’s Balls Out!”

Silence.

“Are you kidding me?!” Malina complained. “Who the fuck says that?!”

(CONFESSIONAL) SPY:

“I’m suing this guy for ruining my suit plenty of times once I get out of here, or better, backstab.”

“Maaaaan, I miss eating rice,” Bashame cried.

Heisuke caught the Brawling Barracudas staring at his team, mostly Heisuke.

“What’s up with those guys staring at me? Did I do something bad?” Heisuke whispered to Gordon.

He responded with a shrug.

“Next question: What was the reward for winning the previous challenge?”

BEEP!

“Easy!” Heisuke quickly answered. “Uh… was it cake?”

SPLAT!

“Merde…” Spy sighed.

“Don’t blame me, dude! None of us has seen what they were getting!” Heisuke defended himself.

And the Barracudas remained staring at him.

“Okay, what the hell is up with you guys?” Heisuke asked them.

No response.

“I think they wanted ya gone,” Ibuki assumed.

He took a moment until he realized something.

(CONFESSIONAL) HEISUKE:

“Wait a second, if I were next. How will Gordon carry out the challenge because he couldn’t speak?! I need to be a genius this time to save our butts!”

“OH, NO, I wouldn’t get out! We’re winning this challenge!”

“Next question with an actual riddle this time: I move in silence, you can’t hear anything, I wear a mask, and I can vanish in no time. What the heck am I?”

“Easy fool! It’s a damn Ninja! Look, I’m a fan of doing Ninja bullcrap. Y’all ever see me going Ninja-style? Hey, you’re a Busta if you’re missing out. I could sneak from their back and smack their butts until they fell on the floor and cry! That’s how Ninja is the coolest thing, better than those Ballas fools.” Ryder answered confidently.

Everyone was stunned in silence. Majima coughed.

“You didn’t press the button,” Majima pointed out.

BEEP!

“Ninja,” Heisuke said.

DING!

“Okay, pick your victim!”

“Ryder.”

SPROING!

“AUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!”

Ryder has been ejected.

“HAHA! Suck on that!” Heisuke taunted, causing Pucca to pout in anger.

(CONFESSIONAL) RYDER:

“Man, you dare to steal my answer and mock me? I’ll show you the deal later! Your ass better be prepared for this!”

“Also, I just realized something… why the hell are Gordon and Pucca quiet?” Majima told them.

Gordon and Pucca shrugged, expecting him to know the answer right now.

“I feel like you’d know right now,” Malina scoffed.

“Ooooh, wait… yeah… INTERNS!”

The interns arrived with a boat and climbed up to the bleachers to hand Gordon and Pucca some papers and tools.

“There. From now on, you will answer through writing.”

Gordon and Pucca gave him a thumbs up.

(CONFESSIONAL) SPY:

“Well, this is gonna raise a problem since Gordon can answer now…”

“Okay, next question: Who stole Daisy’s beloved project called the Daisy Cruiser?”

“HER CRUISER WAS STOLEN?!” Maya yelled.

“Oh, that winner,” Malina said.

“Yeah, I’m serious, buddy. The cruiser was stolen yesterday. Daisy has been singing like a siren at calling out the culprit.” Majima shrugged.

Pen was watching the season with Daisy next to him. The princess was not happy that Pen’s joke came true. Oh, Charles was also there for some reason.

“So? Any questions?” Daisy crossed her arms.

“I WAS JOKING, MAN! I DIDN’T THINK SOMEONE WOULD HAVE STOLEN IT!” Pen shouted in fear. “AND HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO TRACK AND BRING ME HERE?!”

“Hoo boy, I’m going to force you to join me in capturing Wario!” Daisy commanded. “This is your fault for jinxing it!”

“CHARLES, HELP ME!”

Charles was busy playing with the Toads.

“Dude, you can’t believe how fluffy they are!” Charles laughed.

Pen was wailing in agony.

(Author’s Note: Total Drama Something and Gold universe/timeline aren’t connected or canon to this universe. I just thought of adding this for a joke.)

“Okay, got any answer?”

Silence.

“Can we have a pass without getting creamed?” Malina suggested.

“NO! PIE FOR EVERYONE!”

SPLAT!

“Yaaaay, more food!” Ibuki cheered.

“How do you even know it was stolen?” Thanos said.

“Did y’all not watch the TV?! Uncultured as hell. Oh, wait. You were outside all day instead of rotting in the lodge,” Majima said. “Also, I didn’t know who stole it. Call that a trap question. NEXT QUESTIONS!”

He heard everyone groan. He flips the card.

“How many years did Kiryu-chan spend in the joint for the first time he was hauled in?”

Malina slammed her head low on the table.

(CONFESSIONAL) MALINA:

“This quiz show is brainrotted, please save us.”

“I’ll—”

BEEP!

“Oh, uh… 15 years?” Maya said.

SPLAT!

“What the heck?! I was gonna answer that!” Malina groaned.

“WRONG! He was locked for a decade,” Majima corrected her.

“Next question: How many pulls until a guaranteed 5-star character in Honkai: Star Rail?”

“Dudeeee, how do we suppose to know that?” Ibuki cried.

“Yeaaaah…” Bashame yawned.

BEEP!

Gordon wrote ‘90 pulls’ in his paper.

DING!

“Choose one!”

He pointed at Spy.

“Oh, come on now…”

SPROING!

“Damn, nice job, dude!” Heisuke complimented him.

Gordon put up his glasses with a smug grin.

“Next! How many wordcounts are in the first chapter of the first season?”

“Are you telling me the entire season was written?” Thanos asked.

“Yeah?” Majima answered truthfully.

BEEP!

Pucca wrote ‘14k words’ as her answer.

SPLAT!

Pucca huffed.

“I already lost my appetite for pies,” Maya sighed.

“For the first time, Pucca has answered. Bashame still hasn’t done anything. I thought ya were gonna improve?” Majima called Bashame out.

“Uhh… It’s hard…” Bashame said.

“I better see you being useful, okay? Next question: Fill the blanks again! ____, scream if you like Total Drama!”

BEEP!

“Uh… LeBron James!” Bashame answered.

DING!

“Holy crap, I can’t believe you actually got it right. Well done, I guess. Pick one!”

She was going to point at Malina, but Ibuki was in her direction and pointed at the musician instead.

“Ibuki? You’re sending your teammate off?” Majima raised his eyebrow.

“Yeah…” Bashame took a moment to realize. “Wait…”

SPROING!

“WHY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE—WE WERE A TEAAAAAAAM!” Ibuki was yelling.

(CONFESSIONAL) BASHAME:

“I will offer you rice as an apology, like every time I have done the worst mistakeeeeee!”

“I’m kinda surprised how I managed to stay,” Malina said.

“Next question…”

Meanwhile, on the nearby lake’s shore. There’s Ryder… carrying something.

(CONFESSIONAL) RYDER:

“Imma bring those scrubs down in pirates’ way!”

Ryder brought a literal cannon and aimed toward the Squids’ support when he stopped by the lake.

“Let’s blow those thieves!” Ryder said.

SPROING!

He noticed Thanos was ejected from his seat after Pucca answered a question correctly.

(CONFESSIONAL) THANOS:

“Off-screen elimination is cringe, bro. At least do me the honor and show those scenes of me losing the game!”

“Whatever, not my problem,” Ryder shrugged.

He was about to light the fuse.

“Wait. I don’t have any damn matches! Ugh, dammit, I’ll be right back!”

Ryder groaned as he left to find a fire source. Back to the bleachers.

“We’re finally down with two members for each team! I wonder which team will be losing this time? Will Barracuda get their 3rd loss streak? Or the Jellyfish finally lose the challenge?” Majima announced.

“Nah,” Bashame denied.

“We can do it, Gordon!” Heisuke added. “Wait, which team are we eliminating?”

Gordon had no idea.

“Can we have our next question?” Malina groaned impatiently.

“Fine, fine. Next question: What was the full sentence in the word puzzle during the wagon challenge in the first season?”

BEEP!

“I hate to say this, but… ‘Chris McLean is Very Handsome.’” Malina cringed.

DING!

“This question sucks. But you got it right. Eject one of your fellows.”

“Freeman.”

“I told ya you can’t pick the guy who answered the last question correctly.”

“That was Pucca,” Malina corrected him.

“Oh, right. Goodbye, Freeman! Be free!” Majima announced.

SPROING!

“Aw, crap. I’m alone!” Heisuke panicked.

“Yay, we’re left with a guy who can’t answer anything!” Maya said.

“I TOLD YOU I’M NOT DUMB! I ANSWERED ONE OF THE QUESTIONS CORRECTLY!”

“He already revealed the answer, but he forgot to press the button… so you took advantage of that,” Malina deadpanned.

“Man, why are y’all so rude to me? 💔.” Heisuke frowned.

Ryder returned with a matchbox.

“This should be good to toast ‘em,” Ryder said.

He lit the match and…

“Mind telling me what the hell you were doing?”

He turned to his right to see Trevor crossing his arms with an unpleasant look.

“I’m sabotaging these fools, bro!” Ryder said.

“Sabotaging in the big 25’ 💔.” Trevor sighed. “Look, I know we’re trying to win, but I’m pretty sure those gals can do it with no problem.”

“Not with frickin’ Pucca and Bashame on the seat, dude!” Ryder told him. “We’re bringing them down before the girls lost their seat.”

“I can’t believe you’re considering this after Heisuke took your answer,” Trevor deadpanned. “I think you gotta stop and let the thing flow.”

“No way, Busta. Why are you so keen on defending the spike-haired guy?”

“You’re talking to me,” Trevor referred to his haircut.

“The other guy! His haircut looked like a stalagmite!” Ryder barked. “Now, screw off, Busta. Lemme finish the work…”

“I can’t let you do that. It’s gonna end horribly,” Trevor went to stop him.

“POCKET SANDS!”

Ryder threw sand at him, blinding him for a short time.

“GAH!?”

Back on the stage. After everyone got pie’d like three times in a row.

“Next question! How do you harvest rice?”

BEEP!

“Bashame thinks you need to cut the mature stalks with sickle and leave them to dry for a few days!” Bashame answered confidently.

DING!

“Correct! Choose your next victim!” Majima announced.

“I feel like this question was purposely targeted for her,” Malina called out.

“Of course it is!” Heisuke joined in. “She loves rice at all!”

“Hmm…” Bashame was still in thought.

Pucca tilted her head at Bashame, expecting Bashame’s answer.

“Hey, it’s okay. Take your time!” Maya said.

Malina looked at the lone wolf in the Squids’ seat.

“Bashame, just pick the guy and we’ll be safe from tonight’s elimination,” Malina told her.

Pucca nodded at Malina’s word, agreeing with the demon. Bashame slowly lifted her finger to point at Heisuke.

“UHHH, THAT GIRL SAID SHE HATES RICE!” Heisuke lied to Bashame and pointed at Maya.

“I choose Maya!” Bashame picked her after she took his words.

“Are you for real?”

SPROING!

“AAAAAH!”

“WHAT THE HECK — WHY?!” Malina yelled.

“I WAS PANICKING, OKAY?!” Heisuke cried.

“And Barracuda is down with the final girl! I wonder which team will be losing this one. It’s not like something tragic would happen to the Jellyfish Jokers,” Majima announced.

“Can you not jinx. Thank you,” Malina growled.

“Why? It didn’t affect us,” Heisuke added.

“Next question!”

Back on the ground. Ryder and Trevor were still fighting over preventing Ryder from blasting the cannon.

“Seriously, where the hell did you get this cannon from?”

“Some stuff meant to be kept as secret, fool!” Ryder said.

Ryder pushed Trevor to the cannon, causing it to change direction.

“Can we stop with this unnecessary drama? You can’t just hurt someone like that,” Trevor said.

“Don’t you also hurt people?” Ryder claimed.

“I only slay night creatures!” Trevor sneered.

“Guys, what’s with the commotion?”

Kiryu and Ibuki walked into the scene.

“I was just doing—”

“This guy tried to sabotage the Squids’ team by blowing up the stage with a cannon,” Trevor told Kiryu.

“Nani?!”

“WHOA, GOING BOOM BOOM? IBUKI FINDS IT FUN!” Ibuki said.

“No, the fuck it’s not,” Trevor shot back.

“Ay, ay, he’s lying! He’s the one who orchestrated the game!” Ryder said.

“Are you serious right now?” Trevor groaned.

“Alright, let’s put the stop in this,” Kiryu intervened.

“Ibuki, you’re not helping!” Ryder said.

“Erm, Ibuki doesn’t know how to karate chop people, sorry guysies!” Ibuki shrugged with a nervous chuckle.

Kiryu attempted to stop Ryder, but none of them realized the cannon was aiming toward the other stage.

“Next question! I better hope one of you got the question right! It has been 10 questions in a row, and none of them were correct!”

“You can blame Heisuke for hogging all the questions,” Malina accused.

“Whoa, whoa, not again!” Heisuke groaned.

“Let’s just go easy mode this time. Next question! Who was the first person to be eliminated in the last season?”

BEEP!

Pucca wrote Malina as her answer.

DING!

“THANK YOU! Now choose your final victim!”

Pucca eyed Heisuke and Malina. Heisuke was pleading with a sparkling eye like a child begging for something, while Malina just didn’t care and crossed her arms with a big, unpleasant frown.

“Come on, we don’t have all day, Miss Pucca!” Majima reminded her.

“Hmm…” Pucca was thinking.

Heisuke pointed at Malina, while Malina pointed back at him.

After many seconds of consideration. Pucca has finally decided on who she was targeting. She lifted her hands and chose…

BOOM!

BAM!

This spooked everyone on the stage.

“Does anyone feel something like… tilted?” Bashame told her team.

“What tilted?” Heisuke tried to ask.

BOOM!

The entire Jellyfish’s bleacher fell and sank underwater. Malina and Heisuke were confused as hell.

“Damn, you really jinxed them,” Malina smirked.

“But… they’re dead!” Heisuke cried.

“No, they’re not. They’re swimming,” Malina pointed at Pucca carrying Bashame on the water.

“Okay, that just happened. Welp, the Jellyfish Jokers have lost for the first time! No idea what caused this. Oh well, at least the quiz show is over!” Majima announced.

Pucca brought Bashame to the ground. They met with Trevor, Kiryu, Ibuki, and Ryder.

“I’m okaaaaay!” Bashame told her.

Pucca gave her a thumbs-up.

“Wait, wait, wait, what happened? Why was it blown up?” Ibuki said. “We lost the game!”

“I can’t believe it, it must be some fault in the stage,” Trevor assumed. “Poorly built.”

“Hmm, I feel like we’re missing something,” Kiryu said.

All of them froze. 

They turned their head to Ryder at the speed of light, glaring at him intensely.

“Uh, his fault. He was the one who found the idea of blasting the cannon to stop the Squids.” Trevor called Ryder out.

“Dude!” Ryder groaned.

Majima, Malina, and Heisuke walked in.

“Ohho, so that’s what happened! A failed revolution? That’s nuts, man. This isn’t the first time someone sabotaged their team by cutting down the support. Welcome back, Otori Kaede!” Majima announced.

“Dude, who the heck is Kaede?” Ryder said.

“Host! Do we earn anything?” Heisuke raised his hands.

“Well, you and Malina deserve the reward since both of you were standing without being ejected,” Majima shrugged.

“YAY! I WON A REWARD THIS TIME!” Heisuke celebrated.

“Huh… okay.” Malina wasn’t complaining, but she would take her reward. “What is it?”

“Take a look over there.”

There was a rental arcade store building not far away.

“Yup, have fun going all-night in arcade,” Majima grinned.

Malina drooled a bit before shaking her head.

“You’re excited for this, huh?” Heisuke grinned.

“Shut the hell up, do you want me to rip your feet and shove it down your throat?” Malina threatened.

“Dude, I was joking, calm down! I know you’re excited for this. Me too!” Heisuke defended himself nervously.

“Okay, fine. Let us enjoy the night,” Malina shrugged.

Malina and Heisuke left for the arcade haven.

“Anyway, enough of blabbing. You’re sending someone off the island tonight!”

(CONFESSIONAL) RYDER:

“Well, shit. I thought I had it! But the Busta’s I got was my teammate. My chance to win two million dollars and weed has plummeted, bros!”

(CONFESSIONAL) TREVOR:

“Don’t blame me. Tried to smooth his brain and ended up with our team losing instead. I knew it wasn’t gonna end well for him. He’s screwed for good.”

(CONFESSIONAL) HEISUKE:

“BLESS YOU, RYDER! YOU SAVED MY BUTT RIGHT THERE!”

(CONFESSIONAL) MALINA:

“Well, it’s a good thing that someone else had intervened and made a scene. His ass is not surviving the elimination.”

Every Jellyfish member gathered at the top of the hill for the first time. They were exhausted, except for Kiryu. They took their seat and watched Mama arrive with a tray of five marshmallows.

“Okay, welcome to the—”

“Heya, kids. This marshmallow has a special flavor than your usual!” Mama said.

“Can you not cut my entrance?” Majima deadpanned.

“Sorry,” Mama frowned.

“It’s okay! Anyway, this is your first time to show up here, and what’s up with that girl?” He pointed at Bashame, who was sleeping on her stump.

“She fell asleep on a concrete floor. Had to carry her up here,” Kiryu answered.

“Alright. Before we get to the elimination. Chef Hatchet, do your thing!”

Silence.

“Oops, I fired him in the last ceremony. Mama, you do it!”

“Uh, I’m not good with this kind of stuff, and I would feel bad for insulting them,” Mama shyly answered.

“It ain’t that hard to be honest. Let all of your anger out like how angry you were when you spotted Thanos tossing your meal into the trash can!” Majima motivated her.

Mama took a deep breath.

“RYDER! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU PUT TWO PEOPLE'S LIVES AT RISK! LIKE, WHO WAKES UP AND SAYS ‘OH YEAH, I GOTTA BLOW UP THE STAGE WITH A CANNON BECAUSE SOMEONE COPIED MY ANSWER’ AND YOU COST YOUR TEAM A DEFEAT AND ARE SITTING HERE!”

“What the hell—”

“Hah,” Trevor snickered.

“TREVOR! YOU DIDN’T DO ANYTHING TO STOP RYDER FROM BLASTING THE CANNON! HOW DID YOU NOT NOTICE THE FUSE BEING LIT?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, I was—”

“KIRYU! YOU… did your best at stopping the fight. BUT YOU STILL DIDN’T DO ANYTHING TO STOP THE FUSE!” Mama sighed.

“Wait, but—”

“AND BASHAME! YOU MANAGED TO BOOT OFF ONE OF YOUR TEAMMATES AFTER GETTING YOUR ANSWER CORRECT THROUGH A MISTAKE!”

“Okay, that was all!” Mama returned to her cheerful mood.

Everyone was scared shitless at her ranting, including Pucca, who was about to cry.

“I didn’t expect that shit, holy crap.” Majima was flabbergasted.

“I didn’t know it was being lit when they started the fight.” Kiryu said.

“He must’ve done it when he used sand to blind me,” Trevor sighed.

“Whatever,” Ryder said.

“Bashame didn’t hear a thing very clearly. Bashame is very sorry!” Bashame cried.

“Yeah, you better be!” Ibuki pouted.

“Sorry, did I scare you guys?” Mama said.

“Yeah, of course, you did,” Majima sighed.

“Sorry, Mama will offer you delicious desserts after this!” Mama bowed, feeling genuinely sorry for them.

“Okay, you get a marshmallow. You’re safe. If not. GET OUT!” Majima shouted. “The first marshmallow goes to… PUCCA!”

Pucca caught her marshmallow; it tasted different compared to the one Chef Hatchet brought.

“Kiryu-chan!”

“Hai.” Kiryu caught his marshmallow.

“Ibuki!”

Ibuki caught it.

“And Bashame!”

“Yaaaay!”

“Trevor and Ryder. One of you will be leaving in style. The final marshmallow goes to…”

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

“Trevor! With a 1 to 5 votes, you’re spared from the plank. Ryder, it’s time for you to dive!”

“Man, I can’t believe you traitors voted for me!” Ryder said.

“That was your problem. Things would have gone differently if you didn’t bring a cannon,” Trevor answered. “The only traitor was you.”

“I think the outcome would’ve remained the same if we lost normally,” Kiryu shrugged.

“Oh, Bashame’s not in the list? Yay!” Bashame cheered.

“Come on, chop-chop!” Majima ordered.

“Fine!”

Later. Ryder is standing on the plank.

“Any last words?”

“Yeah… no! Those Ballas don’t deserve my final goodbye. Grove Street for life!” Ryder said.

“Bruh, okay. Just jump,” Majima told him.

Ryder walked off the plank to drop off a 100-foot cliff.

SPLASH!

The boat rider picked the gangster up.

“Huh, no casualties from the jumping this time, that’s a relief—”

Suddenly, a huge ocean wave washed the boat.

“Never mind… I hope they make it out alive!”

He faced the camera.

“That episode was a blast. No pun intended. Ryder has been eliminated from the game after his failed sabotage attempt, just like Kaede!... Wait, I forgot about the log girl, damn it. Forget it, I’m not having my throat slashed tonight. We’re finally down to fourteen campers! Who’s getting ejected from their position after this? Find out in the next episode of Total. Drama! Campers in Hawaii!”

The same boat that was washed earlier crashed into the same island. Ryder was running through the woods.

“Hah, I can’t believe they thought they would take me away from this island! I need ‘em million dollars. If I can’t win it, then I can just rob ‘em like a gangsta!”

He reached the main area.

“No fools are going to find out that I’ve snuck my way here—”

BOOM!

It was Mash who landed back on Earth from space, creating a huge crater and explosion, possibly alerting everyone from their sleep.

“That one-eyed Viltrumite complex was a great friend. Now, where was I?” Mash said.

He looked down to see Ryder below him, squished like a pancake. He stepped away from him.

“Oh… I’m very sorry. I should’ve been more careful with my landing,” He apologized with a bow.

“Busta…” Ryder weakly muttered.

[END]

CONFESSIONAL VOTES

Kiryu: “I don’t see any threat currently besides Pucca, who kept it a secret. Ryder attempted to sabotage and failed. He needs to go.” (RYDER)

Bashame: “Bashame fears cannon.” (RYDER)

Ibuki: “Whoooa, this is a very, very, not good moment for Ryder!” (RYDER)

Ryder: “Man, you think you’re good at smacking my cheek like that, huh? I’ll bring up the Grove Street just to teach you not to mess with us.” (TREVOR)

Trevor: “I told his stupid ass not to do it. Oh well, his problem.” (RYDER)

Pucca: She was frustrated that Ryder caused her to lose when she was about to pick Malina back then, and aggressively wrote his name. (RYDER)

ELIMINATION ORDER

18th - Tom - The Salty Squids (3-3; lost tiebreaker)

17th - Bugs Bunny - The Brawling Barracudas (3-2-1)

16th - Mama - The Brawling Barracudas (5-0)

15th - Ryder - The Jellyfish Jokers (5-1)

REMAINING CAMPERS

The Salty Squids: Diana Venicia - Gordon Freeman - Heisuke Mashimo - Serial Designation J - Yzma

The Brawling Barracudas: Malina - Maya Fey - Spy - Thanos

The Jellyfish Jokers: Ibuki Mioda - Kazuma Kiryu - Meme Bashame - Pucca - Trevor Belmont

Chapter Text

“Last time on Total Drama: Campers in Hawaii! Fifteen campers were put on a stage in the middle of the lake, and they will try to survive my fabulous quiz show! I love the part where J was the first victim to be ejected from her seat. There isn’t that much to recap, except for Ryder bringing a cannon for an attempted sabotage, which failed when Trevor and Kiryu intervened. They don’t realize the cannon was lit and aimed toward their team, causing the Jellyfish Jokers to earn their first loss, and Ryder was kicked out of the game for being responsible for his crime! With Ryder gone, we’re down to 14 campers left! Who’s walking the plank in this episode? Let’s find out on this episode of Total. Drama! CAMPERS IN HAWAII!”

[INTRO]

Yzma was whistling conspicuously, heading somewhere not very suspicious. Once she stopped at her destination, she looked around to see if there was anyone nearby, and there were none.

“Perfect, back to my secret plan,” Yzma grinned.

She opened the hatch and descended the stairs until she was met by two levers. She pulled the right one and had a rollercoaster ride, screaming like a child.

Yadda, yadda, roller coaster ride until she reached her small lab that she had been working in secret for a while. Don’t ask how she managed to build an entire roller coaster track; it was just kinda there. 

After a final loop, which flung her through a giant mouth statue into her hidden underground lair. She was automatically put in her lab coat.

“Ah, finally… a moment of peace from those buffoons. Why the heck do I always scream when I ride a cart?” Yzma sighed.

She looked at her workstation.

“Hello, my little potions… how are you doing? Did I hear any progress?”

She took a purple vial and sniffed it.

“Hmm… could use some more bird extract.”

POOF!

Her face was covered in ashes. She dusted them off her face with a cough.

“Ugh… again…! That didn’t work…” Yzma complained. “I suppose I gotta try them again.”

“Dude, are you having a burger?” Heisuke asked Maya.

“Hmmph? What’s wrong with a burger?” Maya muttered.

“Well… not that… you have them at breakfast !” Heisuke argued.

“Okay…?” Maya replied nonchalantly.

SLAM!

The door was forcefully opened, revealing Malina in a drowsy state. Oh, she’s tired alright. Tired from pulling an all-nighter in the arcade.

“Good morning. I suppose you had a very good time with your machine?” Spy asked.

Malina responded by slamming her head down onto the table, causing a huge shake. Gordon’s juice was spilled into his suit, and he brought a napkin to clean it. Mama brought breakfast for her.

“Enjoy!” Mama said.

“So tired… very tired,” Malina yawned.

She cracked her head to notice Heisuke was chatting happily with Diana.

“How the hell are you so alive?” Malina weakly muttered.

“I returned to my lodge and slept earlier,” Heisuke added with an eyebrow raise. “Wait… did you spend an entire night inside the arcade?”

The Sour Demon didn’t respond.

“Man, what the heck! That’s no good!”

(CONFESSIONAL) MALINA:

Yawns. “Not my first time I’ve pulled an all-nighter for a video game.”

Thanos unnecessarily stabbed his toast with a fork, catching people at the same table off guard… wait, who uses a fork for a toast?

“Damn, I’m so pissed, bro! You were the only Barracuda member to win a reward!” Thanos complained. “Meanwhile, the rest of us were rotting with nothing but a silver medal!”

“Haha, skill issue… whatever,” Malina scoffed.

“Geez, no need to be so dramatic, I thought you guys would get along,” Diana said.

“Hell no!” Malina responded with a shout randomly.

She just realized what she had done. She went back to snore with her head on the table.

“Yup, listen to the fashionista! We would love to get along with each other,” Thanos smirked, as Spy rolled his eyes.

“This is uncomfortable.”

Meanwhile, on the other table. Trevor and Kiryu were having a chat.

“With Ryder’s gone. We don’t gotta worry about him pulling any stupid move,” Kiryu said.

“We’re in the same team as Bashame. I have no idea what Ibuki had done so far, and Pucca did well as a child, it’s kinda amusing and weird,” Trevor added. “I wonder how they were doing.”

“Knowing Bashame. She’s probably asleep on a hard concrete floor,” Kiryu chuckled. “Pucca… not sure.”

“Are you sure about leaving a child unsupervised like that?” Trevor raised his eyebrow.

“Don’t worry, I’ve seen her time alone. She can handle it well,” Kiryu responded.

(CONFESSIONAL) TREVOR:

“This feels out of line for Kiryu, who wanted to look out for children.”

Pucca was playing with a soccer ball that Paul had given to her earlier. She delivered a strong kick.

FWOOSH!

She was flabbergasted that it flew that far.

CLANK!

“Huh?”

She walked toward the metal source and noticed a little metal peeking out of sand and leaves. She swiped them away.

She discovered a hatch buried under it. Pucca was in her thinking mode, deciding what to do with the hatch.

“YOOO, LIL PUCCY! LET’S PLAY!” Ibuki called her out.

The girl gave a thumbs-up and covered the hatch again before leaving to obtain the ball.

Some time later, Yzma came out of it with her potions prepared. Not aware of Pucca discovering the hatch.

“I feel like someone was watching me… meh,” Yzma said, as she closed the hatch and covered the entrance again.

A loudspeaker rang just in time.

“A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT IS ABOUT TO ARRIVE SOON, GUYS! HEAD TO THE MAIN AREA IN FIVE MINUTES!”

“Just in the nick of time,” Yzma wiped her sweat in relief. “Gotta make sure to keep this one vial secured carefully.”

They’re in the main area with Majima standing in a proud yet threatening pose.

“Okay, spill it out with your special announcement,” Spy spoke up.

“Nah, not right now. Wanna have a guess?” Majima asked everyone.

“Uhh… more free day?” Heisuke answered.

“Oh, oh, musical talent!” Ibuki assumed.

“Maybe some art contest?” Diana said.

“Are we disbanding our team?” Maya raised her hands.

“Yeah! Well, the Barracudas are no more. We’re splitting into two teams of seven!” Majima announced. “That’s your special announcement.”

“WHAT?!” Malina, Spy, Maya, and Thanos shouted in unison.

“The fuck ya mean ‘WHAT?!’ It’s a blessing for you! You don’t feel outnumbered anymore!” Majima sneered. “I mean, look at ya! Four people against two teams with five people!”

“I’m sure we can manage that, right, fellas?” Thanos told his team, and he got no response. “Man, whatever, y’all just a hater.”

“Well, at least we have our two new members,” J said. “As long as I don’t get Malina.”

“Funny,” Malina scoffed.

“Also, you Squids and Jellyfish people need to swap too.”

This earned a groan from everyone.

“Bro, come on! Why are y’all complaining? Don’t y’all want to reunite with yer other friends or just make the drama more crispy? Who knows! A little mix might be chaotic, so why not? STEVE!”

Steve arrives with a chest. It contains 14 shulker boxes inside.

“Okay, pick one! Do NOT open the shulker box until I tell you so!” Majima ordered them.

One by one, they picked their shulker box carefully and returned to their spot. Steve took his empty chest away and left.

“Alright, place your shulker in front of you! Make sure nobody else was in your way!”

They all did that as Majima ordered.

“Once I tell you to open. Open it and get the block out! Okay, open it and get your block!”

A lot of Minecraft SFX are playing in the background. Everyone has their blocks.

“If your block is grey, go to that side. And pink, go over there,” Majima gestured.

Everyone has separated into their respective spot. Majima inspected them to make sure each team has seven members. There are no errors.

“Okay… Malina, Trevor, Bashame, Yzma, Thanos, Spy, and Pucca! Welcome to the new Salty Squids team! Funny enough, Yzma was the only lone survivor of the Squid before the swap.”

Yzma only gave him a nasty glare.

“Yo, what’s up, lady? I’m glad we’re on the same page again!” Thanos does a pose at the demon.

(CONFESSIONAL) MALINA:

“Someone, please get over here and bring me a noose.”

“Well, this isn’t so bad…” Spy nodded. “What could’ve gone wrong?”

“We’re together again, huh?” Trevor smirked.

“I guess,” Malina shrugged.

Pucca was a little sad that she was no longer with her teammates, except for Bashame.

“Mmm, I hope there’s rice after this,” Bashame thought.

“Finally! Serial Deranged-whatever J, Heisuke, Diana, Gordon, Kiryu, Maya, and Ibuki! You’re the new Jellyfish Jokers! Man, it looked so bright and colorful compared to the Squids.”

“I am Serial DESIGNATION J!” J corrected him.

“Nice, we’re still together!” Heisuke smiled.

“Yeah,” Diana responded.

“Oh, well, I’m not with any Barracudas member anymore…” Maya sighed.

“Yay, hello, May! Hello, Jay! Hello, Gorgeous Freeman! And hellooooooo, Diana and Heisuke!” Ibuki waved at her new members.

“I hate this team,” J grumbled.

(CONFESSIONAL) GORDON:

He looked at the mirror to see if he was that gorgeous.

(CONFESSIONAL) KIRYU:

“This doesn’t look too bad from what Majima had claimed. I will get to know the new members more this time.”

“Hey, she got our names right,” Diana said.

“Indeed,” Heisuke added with a smile.

“Alright, greet your new friends, and the next challenge will be in a few hours!” Majima announced. “By the way, don’t worry about moving your belongings. The interns have already switched it, so there will now be two cabins where each team will stay. Jellyfish Jokers now own the Barracuda lodge because that one still had a water leakage.”

(CONFESSIONAL) YZMA:

“How dare you…! Moving my stuff with no permission?! Oh, wait, I’m still in the Squids’ lodge.”

(CONFESSIONAL) HEISUKE:

“HE DID NOT SEE WHAT’S INSIDE MY GUITAR CASE — HE DID NOT SEE WHAT’S INSIDE MY GUITAR CASE — HE DID NOT SEE WHAT’S INSIDE MY GUITAR CASE—”

The new Squids entered their cabin. Like Majima has mentioned before, all of their belongings were brought here by their interns. Pucca was running around.

“Feel free to make yourself at home as long as you don’t touch my stuff or my room,” Yzma declared.

And Malina responded by entering the former’s room and dozing off in her bed because she was too tired to care.

“Are you serious?!” Yzma groaned.

“It’s so good to have a lodge that doesn’t smell like a dong,” Trevor cringed at the memory of Ryder’s smell. “And he was eliminated a few days ago.”

“Yay, Bashame still has her tools. Bashame can start farming a field of rice!”

“You plant rice here? At the tropical island?” Thanos questioned.

“Bashame’s need to find a good spot to start the farm!” Bashame said.

“I mean, why? Mama’s already preparing the rice every day,” Spy pointed out. “I don’t see the use of this. Let alone why are you carrying that? No clothes or anything?”

“She was washed up here, including me and the rest of the veterans, with no belongings,” Trevor replied. “She’s probably borrowing these tools from someone.”

“Yaaaaaa,” Bashame agreed.

“Anyway, has anyone seen my… whip?” Trevor asked.

“No, who the hell carries that?” Yzma replied.

“I do. In case some freaks appeared and I have to use it to fight ‘em off,” Trevor shrugged.

“Why didn’t you use it during these past challenges?” Yzma said. “Especially the dolphins?”

“How the hell am I supposed to know that errand would involve them?” Trevor defended himself.

Meanwhile, Spy was checking his belongings, and he sighed in relief as his gadgets were untouched.

“Yo, what’re you peeking at, old man?” Thanos asked from behind.

“Nothing. None of this stuff is yours,” Spy replied as he took his belongings and entered his room.

(CONFESSIONAL) TREVOR:

“Shit… they might’ve stolen my god damn whip.”

“Wow, that sucks,” Thanos said, then checked that he still had his cross necklace. “I have nothing better to do than to sleep! WOO!”

He went to his bed and slept. Pucca thought something was up when she saw him staring at the cross before hiding it again. She decided to let it go.

The new Jellyfish entered the former Barracuda’s lodge.

“Wow, it’s just like the other cabins, same room, same floor plan,” Heisuke was interrupted.

“They’re all the same,” J told him.

“Since we’re strangers now, it’s for the best that we gotta know each other again,” Kiryu ordered. “I’m Kiryu, I run an orphanage.”

Everyone just reintroduced themselves because I’m too lazy. Sorry.

“Oh, thank you for saving us from the goat last time!” Diana said. “I’m Diana! The Ultimate Cosmetologist.”

“So, when is your talent gonna be useful?” J asked her.

“It doesn’t matter at all! I can still socialize with everyone and hopefully make new friends or anything, then give makeup to my friend,” Diana said.

“Huh…”

(CONFESSIONAL) J:

“Buddy, you’re not ready for this game if you’re here to make friends and be optimistic… reminds me of someone. Also about the ‘ultimate talent’... I wonder if she knows Toko.”

“Yeah, I just thought about that,” Heisuke followed. “You haven’t put your talent to use.”

“I mean, I haven’t seen you playing your guitar once,” Diana shot back with a pout.

And Heisuke froze.

“Good point,” J followed.

“What about Ibuki? She’s one of the musicians!” Heisuke nervously added.

“Erm, true! Ibuki plays a musical instrument, but Ibuki doesn’t bring one,” Ibuki said.

“Yeah, you have one,” Maya pointed out.

“Erm, hold on, guys,” Heisuke laughed.

“I feel like he was hiding something. Let’s check the case!” Ibuki ordered.

Gordon thought it was stupid, but he couldn’t get them to stop. Same as Kiryu.

“C’mon, it’s his item, we don’t need to cause a ruckus,” Kiryu sighed.

“Ibuki gotta see the truth!” Ibuki dived toward his guitar case.

“Wait, NO—”

Bam.

There’s an actual guitar inside the case.

“Oh, that’s a guitar! Ibuki thought you were spooking us with a scary thing!” Ibuki giggled.

“Sorry, I tend to get paranoid when I have to play in front of someone, haha,” Heisuke added.

A loudspeaker rings again.

“Okay, actual challenge announcement this time! Change of plans! We’re starting soon! Head to the dodgeball stadium in one minute!”

Soon enough. Everyone has left the lodge, leaving Heisuke alone.

“Crap, crap, crap…” He looked at his guitar.

To the surprise of nobody. His makeshift rifle was hidden inside the guitar. Heisuke sighed in relief as if he was about to be found out about his true occupation.

“I still have no idea why I decided to bring this,” Heisuke sighed. “I’m in Total Drama… eh, I should’ve expected danger and will use it when necessary.”

He hid his guitar case in a better spot before leaving to catch up with everyone. Meanwhile, in the Squids’ lodge. A certain demon groaned on her sheet.

(CONFESSIONAL) MALINA:

“I swear, he doesn’t let me enjoy my god damn break. Now, I have to play his challenge and possibly get my sore state eliminated.”

One minute later. They’re standing in the dodgeball stadium, nearly identical to the one used in Camp Wawanakwa. Majima is sporting in gym clothes with a whistle. Law and Paul were standing in their janitor uniform in the corner.

“Just felt like you guys need a little nostalgia trip,” Majima grinned. “Guess what we’ll be playing today!”

“Dogball!” Maya shouted in excitement.

“You mean dodgeball?” Kiryu corrected her.

“Oh, nice! I love dodgeball!” Heisuke said.

“Ah, simple enough,” Spy chuckled.

“Yeah! No dolphins, no mushrooms, no sharks!” Thanos spoke up. “We’re bullying each other with a ball!”

“Instead of dodgeball, you’ll be using pies!”

Steve arrives with a forklift carrying a million boxes of apple pies and places them on the side before leaving the stadium.

(CONFESSIONAL) SPY:

“And I thought it couldn’t get any worse from this… I should pack up some casual clothes next time I join this program.”

(CONFESSIONAL) YZMA:

“Are you serious?! I just washed my clothes after that explosion — I mean, tripping into mud!”

(CONFESSIONAL) HEISUKE:

“I dunno why I feel excited for this.”

(CONFESSIONAL) IBUKI:

“MORE FOOD!”

“I know, I know, you’d be sound disappointed, and I get ya. We still couldn’t find a good way to spend these remaining apple pies.” Majima sighed. “So, we thought like… why don’t we hit each other with pie again!?”

“Is that why you have those two burly men standing in cleaning uniform?” Yzma pointed at Paul and Law, who nodded in unison.

“Man, I hate cleaning!” Paul complained.

“What did you say?” Majima raised an eyebrow, immediately shutting the janitors.

“Your solution was to… waste the pie again? Very cool and original,” Trevor deadpanned.

“Thanks. Be glad that we didn’t go through the plan of using bricks for a dodgeball game,” Majima shrugged.

“Suddenly, pies are a lot better,” Diana gulped.

“Thank you again, lady! Okay, the challenge is simple. Three people for each team every round, and the goal was to reach four points,” Majima instructed.

“Huh… four? Isn’t it usually five?” Ibuki raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, but like, we have way fewer people currently,” Majima told them. “I’ll give ya two minutes to prepare and none of you better sneak out to have a secret date, or I’ll show up with a canoe and crush you with it!”

“Oddly specific requirement, sure,” J said.

Soon enough, everyone went to their respective bleachers. Malina had already fallen asleep in her seat.

“C’mon, bro! Are you napping? Bashame is still useful than you!” Thanos reminded.

“I’ll play later, don’t bother me,” Malina growled.

“I’ll go for the first round,” Trevor told his team. “Who’s the other volunteer?”

“Meee!” Bashame said. “Bashame wants to help!”

“Alright,” Trevor shrugged.

“What?! You’re just gonna accept her? She’s going to throw the challenge with a nap!” Yzma declared.

“And what about you? Stepping down the entire game because you’re afraid of your dress getting dirty?” Trevor replied.

“I feel like this was targeted toward me as well,” Spy said.

“Okay, if you two were too pussy to attend, I’ll play!” Thanos raised his hands.

On Jellyfish’s side. Kiryu, Heisuke, and Gordon volunteered to play. Majima used his whistle.

“Alright, time’s up, campers! Get to the field!” Majima barked.

They got into their field.

ROUND 1:

SQUIDS: TREVOR, BASHAME & THANOS

JOKERS: HEISUKE, KIRYU & GORDON

Majima blew his whistle.

“Alright, for this plan. We’ll have to—”

SPLAT! SPLAT! And the third SPLAT!

“Damn, not a second in and we got a full wipeout from the Jellyfish.” Majima used his whistle to stop. “Jellyfish has their first point!”

The Squids groaned in disappointment as the field members were confused.

“HAHA, yeah! Take that!” Heisuke taunted.

Gordon pushes his glasses up smugly. Kiryu just doesn’t say anything and nods.

“Alright, back on the bleachers if ya need some change,” Majima ordered.

(CONFESSIONAL) THANOS:

“How did THAT happen, yo?! We just barely started!”

As the janitors were cleaning the pie leftovers on the floor. The Squids returned and were met with disappointment by their teammates.

“Real nice of you, guys,” Yzma deadpanned.

“If you’re that mad, why don’t you have a go?” Trevor pointed at the arena.

“Fine, just for this once!” Yzma hissed.

“Man, I’m beat. Who wanted to switch with me?” Thanos asked.

Malina is unresponsive. Spy was sitting, clearly not wanting to be chosen, while Pucca waited to be picked.

“I guess you’re staying,” Trevor shrugged. “Have fun with another round.”

“Yay, Bashame is playing again!” Bashame cheered.

“I can go for another round, I hope you’re fine, right?” Heisuke said.

“Sure,” J said.

“Oh, oh, I wanna try!” Maya said, switching her spot with Gordon.

“Hey, Kiryu-chan! Can we switch?! Ibuki wants to throw pie!” Ibuki begged.

Kiryu shrugged and let her switch with him.

“We’re in the lead… just three more,” Diana said.

Majima blew his whistle.

ROUND 2:

SQUIDS: YZMA, BASHAME & THANOS

JOKERS: HEISUKE, MAYA & IBUKI

“HYAH!”

Heisuke shouted as he tossed his pie toward Bashame, getting her face covered in pie.

“Yum,” Bashame tasted, followed by Spy’s groans.

A pie was thrown toward the rapper, and he dodged it.

“Nice toss!”

He tossed back toward Ibuki, and it was too far to hit her.

“What are you doing?!” Yzma groaned.

“I’m trying!” Thanos replied.

Yzma threw her pie and hit Maya’s face.

“Aw,” Maya frowned.

Another pie was thrown. Heisuke swiftly dodges it.

“Miss!”

He threw another one, and this time, it hit Thanos’ face.

“Are you freaking kidding me, bro?!”

“You’re out! Get to the bleacher!” Majima ordered.

Thanos huffed in frustration.

SPLAT!

Yzma somehow got Ibuki.

“Aw, maaaaan!”

“Damn, that lady got hands,” Trevor smirked.

“Indeed, that was an unexpected sighting,” Spy added.

“Will you shut up and let me focus?” Yzma scowled.

“Got you!”

Heisuke slipped after stepping on the pie remains, giving Yzma a good opportunity to attack Heisuke.

SPLAT!

“And that’s it! The Squids won this round! 1-1,” Majima announced. “Back to your seats!”

Paul and Law went back to clean the field. Heisuke rubbed his head after that failure.

“You would’ve scored another point for us,” J remarked.

“C’mon, guys! That was a fluke! I promise I won’t slip again,” Heisuke defended himself.

“You had a good run,” Kiryu reassured. “I think you should take a break.”

“Nah, no way, man. I can still go!” Heisuke intervened.

“Well, everyone needs to play, right?” Maya said.

“I guess you’re right,” Heisuke said. “A break might be good.”

“Cool, can I play now?” Diana asked, which was approved.

“I’ll play too, then,” J added.

Gordon nudged Kiryu’s arm, suggesting he play.

“Alright,” Kiryu stood up.

“I’m done. I’ve finished the game with a victory, I shall retire from this challenge forever,” Yzma ordered.

“So…?” Trevor asked Spy.

“Alright, alright, I’ll get on with it,” Spy sighed.

“Who wanted to—”

Pucca raised her arms.

“Nah. You’re staying,” Thanos ordered, causing Pucca to pout. “Okay. I’m playing again! Woo!”

He decides not to use his “meta” yet.

ROUND 3:

SQUIDS: SPY, TREVOR & THANOS

JOKERS: J, DIANA & KIRYU

“HA!”

J hit Spy’s suit with her pie, eliminating him instantly.

“I didn’t even make a single damn move!” Spy groaned.

J was eliminated next by Trevor’s pie.

“Yeah, take that,” Trevor taunted as J returned to her seat, grumbling.

Diana makes her move and misses her target.

“Too slow!” Thanos mocked.

And that’s where Kiryu got him.

“Huff!” Thanos groaned.

“Out!”

“Not this time, lady,” Trevor managed to eliminate Diana.

“Ew…” Diana sighed.

Kiryu and Trevor are left in the arena.

“Whoa, a fight between two beefy men!” Ibuki announced.

The two men narrowed their eyes, being careful with their aim.

“Can we skip the dramatic mood and get to throwing?” Yzma asked impatiently.

“HYAH!” Kiryu and Trevor shouted at the same time.

WOOSH!

Both of the pies were thrown at the same time.

SPLAT!

Kiryu was hit, and Trevor barely dodged it in the last second.

BZZZT!

“Third round is over with the Squids taking another win!” Majima announced. “Back to your base!”

“Sorry if I disappointed you,” Kiryu sighed.

“Noooo, Ibuki thinks the big man’s doing great!” Ibuki cheered him up.

“I’m going to play again!” Maya suggested.

Gordon followed her with a nod.

“So, who’s up for a replacement?” J said.

“Me again!” Heisuke begged.

“Alright.”

“Hey, hey, I’m done for real this time!” Thanos huffed. “One of you guys better replace me!”

Pucca waved her arms aggressively.

“Okay, you’re playing,” Trevor ordered, causing Pucca to jolt in excitement.

Thanos rested on his seat and noticed Malina was still asleep.

“Yo, I think you haven’t played a single round! Bashame played more than you, don’t let her take the spotlight,” Thanos snickered. “Who’s gonna wake the beautiful devil?”

Silence.

“I think you’ll do it,” Spy told Trevor. “That demon fatale hasn’t done anything to help, and I’d rather not get my suit covered in my guts.”

“Hmph, well, I can be safe to assume that Malina’s probably good to go,” Trevor said. “Hey, wake up.”

Malina groaned awake. “WHAT?! In the middle of my break?!”

“Thanos’ idea,” Trevor said.

“Whoa, WHOA, WHOA — DON’T PUT THE BLAME ON ME FOR THIS! I mean, it was Spy!” Thanos remarked. “Although I don’t mind getting mauled—”

“Blegh, you’re gross,” Yzma grimaced.

“I was joking, geez,” Thanos pouted.

“You don’t look like you’re joking,” Spy sighed.

“Okay, whatever. Who’s up? I’m done playing,” Thanos said.

“I’ll go if it makes you shut up,” Malina scowled.

“Ooh, Bashame wanna play again!” Bashame said.

“Her again? She did nothing last round,” Yzma called out.

“Do you want to have a go?” Trevor asked.

“No!” Yzma yelled.

“Time’s up! Get to the field!”

“Wait—”

The trio was already in the field. The Jellyfish have Maya, Gordon, and Diana playing.

ROUND 4:

SQUIDS: MALINA, BASHAME & PUCCA

JOKERS: GORDON, MAYA & HEISUKE

The match recently started, and Malina had gone aggressive with her throws.

“OW, OW — CHILL OUT!” Heisuke begged.

Pucca somehow performed better than Bashame, who could barely throw a single pie before getting her face covered in it from Gordon’s throw.

“Bashame! You’re out! Get back to your seat!” Majima blew his whistle.

“Aw,” Bashame sighed.

“Yo, we really need to stop sending Bashame,” Thanos complained.

“I still dunno why you think she’s a good fit for this sport,” Spy asked Trevor.

“Hey, she wanted to volunteer, so I let her,” Trevor shrugged.

Yzma was spectating, and her team was doing well enough, despite Malina being aggressive toward her enemy with her throw. Heisuke and Maya had to dance their way to dodge her pies.

“Gotta make sure nobody was looking.”

Good for her, nobody paid attention to the lady. Yzma was slowly distancing herself from her team and made her way into the Jellyfish’s bleachers. She aimed to drop something in Maya’s juice.

“This vial should do a trick,” Yzma grinned.

She dropped a single droplet into the juice, and it did a tiny explosion, showing a skull sign before Yzma fled from the scene before she was caught. Well, Spy was staring at her the entire time.

“Hmm,” Spy narrowed his eyes.

(CONFESSIONAL) YZMA:

“Sure, my team is in the lead, but I gotta make a move and give something 'special’ to the other team despite being too far behind to catch up. I know they will magically make a great comeback. What about the effect? See for yourself.”

(CONFESSIONAL) SPY:

“Something’s up with that madame. I’ll have to find the truth.”

Pucca and Maya threw at the same time.

DOUBLE SPLAT!

“Pucca and Maya! You’re out!” Majima barked.

Maya huffed before cleaning her face and went back to her seat, taking a sip of her juice with a special addition.

“Bingo,” Yzma smirked.

SPLAT!

“Gordon, you too!”

Gordon wiped his face off after Malina eliminated him.

“HA, I got you!” Heisuke declared.

He did his final blow and… it didn’t fly that far.

“That was all?” Malina asked.

“No, that was an error—”

Then Heisuke was hit in the face with a pie that travels 20,000 km/h and was sent out of the arena, causing everyone to cringe. Funniest shit I’ve ever seen.

“I think he’s dead,” Spy assumed.

“NO, HE’S NOT!” Diana replied.

“Wow, that sure rewarded him with a hospital trip. The Squids are on their third win in a row! One more point and they’ll win the challenge!” Majima announced.

“Hah, good job,” Trevor clapped.

Malina didn’t respond.

“Damn, girl. I didn’t know you’d be a pro dodgeball player,” Thanos complimented the demon. “Especially that harsh throw to him! Poor dude.”

He tried to offer her a high-five, but Malina just barked at him to shut up.

“Bro…” Thanos wasn’t pleased.

(CONFESSIONAL) MALINA:

“Of course. I have thrown a lot of desks and monitors in my whole life.”

“I’m done, go ahead,” Malina shrugged.

“Fine, I’ll give myself another try,” Spy said.

“I thought you’d give up,” Trevor raised his eyebrow.

“Nah, my suit already got messy. I don’t care anymore,” Spy huffed.

“Oh, you know what? I’m up,” Yzma said.

Pucca apparently wanted to play again.

“Again?” Thanos said. “You already had your fun!”

Pucca slightly pouted.

“Who cares? She did more than you,” Malina added. “She got that burger addict girl out.”

“That doesn’t count! They were out at the same time!” Thanos hissed.

(CONFESSIONAL) THANOS:

“Wow, they don’t allow me to participate in the fun game? Let’s see how mind blown they are when I use the… mint!”

“Seriously, guys! Why pick a kid over an adult?” Thanos complained.

“It’s for plot purposes,” Trevor shrugged.

“What?” That was all everyone could say.

“Ignore that. I think I may have gone crazy,” Trevor slapped his own face.

“Maya, are you good?” Diana told her.

“What? Yeah, I’m fine. I feel woozy for some reason,” Maya said.

“You should take a break,” Kiryu suggested.

“After this, please! I wanna play for the last time!” Maya cried.

“Okay, Ibuki is fine with it!” Ibuki said.

Gordon looked at the ex-yakuza before shrugging.

“Well, if anyone doesn’t have a problem. It’s fine,” Kiryu shrugged.

“Good luck, guys! Ouch… still hurts…” Heisuke groaned.

ROUND 5:

SQUIDS: YZMA, SPY & PUCCA

JOKERS: IBUKI, MAYA & DIANA

Yzma was only anticipating seeing her potion's effect on Maya.

“Maya?”

Diana tried to get Maya’s attention.

“What’s wrong with her?” Majima asked.

“I dunno, she said she was feeling woozy and wanted to play another round,” Ibuki told the host.

“Eh, she’s fine, don’t worry about—”

SPLAT!

Maya threw her first pie toward Yzma, which registered a hit.

“Okay, that old lady is out!” Majima announced.

“What—”

SPLAT!

“What the hell!?”

Spy was eliminated from Maya’s pie again.

“WHAT?! That was bloody quick!” Spy growled.

Pucca tilted her head in confusion.

“PUCCA! LOOK OUT, YO!”

Pucca dodged the somehow 100% accurate throw from Maya. Then she threw another one, having Pucca dodge.

“Damn, what the hell—”

Another pie barrage was thrown at the girl, which she dodged effectively.

“Gah — what the freak is wrong with you?!” J said.

“Yeah, like, wait… we’re on the same team! Why are we dogging on Maya?” Heisuke added.

“It’s very unusual for her. She always daydreams about a burger and spirits,” J pointed out.

“Maybe it’s her favorite sport,” Kiryu claimed.

Pucca managed to eliminate Ibuki when she was dodging Maya’s complicated throw.

“OW, OW, THAT HURT!”

“Maya, what’s up with you?” Diana asked Maya.

Maya didn’t respond when she was still busy dancing around and throwing like a ninja.

“Damn, that tiny girl is actually good at dodging,” Thanos called out.

Pucca was about to throw—

SPLAT!

Maya just threw her last pie, which hit the little girl.

“Boo, never mind!” Thanos booed, making Pucca red-faced in anger.

The host blew his whistle.

“Whoa, whoa, Maya’s going out with those dance moves! She elegantly dodged everything that was thrown at her!” Majima announced. “The Jellyfish finally scored their second point! Leading to 3 to 2.”

The Jellyfish were surprised and cheered for her as the interns cleaned the field for the fifth time.

“Damn, that was siiiiiick!” Ibuki cheered.

“Thanks, guys! I don’t know what happened with my body, but I sure scored our second victory with my new skills,” Maya rubbed her head.

“Yeah, with the way you jumped like a certain plumber and pulled some dance moves,” Diana pointed out. “Is that your secret talent?”

“Maybe?” Maya shrugged. “I lowkey want to give another shot!”

Back on the Squids’ seat.

“Jesus Christ, what the bloody hell happened?” Trevor said.

“ I could’ve sworn that droplet I gave to her would cause an effect that makes her hallucinate ,” Yzma thought.

Spy stared at her without being noticed.

(CONFESSIONAL) SPY:

“Hmm… judging by her look. That was not the real outcome she was expecting when it had an effect other than the intended.”

“Yo, Maya! How come a lazy glutton like you suddenly has a powerful dance choreography? Are you actually a medium spirit in practice? Are you a FRAUD? Is dancing your secret talent?! Why are you lying? Where’s your honesty? What’s your contact? Can I hire you as my backup dancer?”

BAM!

Maya threw an empty pie pan straight into his face hard enough to render him unconscious from a single blow.

“Sorry, didn’t think it through,” Maya chuckled awkwardly. “I think my body acted on its own.”

Trevor checked on the rapper.

“Yeah, he’s not waking up for the time being,” Trevor told them.

“I shall play again,” Spy said. “I haven’t gotten a single ‘kill.’”

“I’m up again. What about you, Malina?” Trevor asked.

“Since you insisted again… eh, whatever, sure. I got nothing else to do,” Malina shrugged.

Gordon raised his hands, volunteering to play this round.

“Gordon, you’re up,” Kiryu ordered, getting a nod from the former.

“Ibuki wanna play again!” Ibuki chimed in.

“Okay, that’s the three of us, right?” Maya counted Gordon, Ibuki, and herself.

Just then, the host blew his whistle after the interns finished the cleaning.

ROUND 6:

SQUIDS: SPY, TREVOR & MALINA

JOKERS: GORDON, MAYA & IBUKI

“Go for the purple girl,” Malina whispered.

The Squids tried to do that, and well, it didn’t go so great when Maya just dodged everything thanks to the potion effect.

The three were busy targeting the medium. Gordon got his chance to eliminate Trevor.

WOOSH!

“Hyah!”

Trevor counterattacked him by throwing the pie toward the scientist.

SPLAT!

“Gordon, you’re out!” Majima barked.

“Ibuki wants you to taste this pie!” Ibuki said.

She threw her pie and missed Spy.

“Of course! How about you taste ‘em!” Spy said.

SPLAT!

“Ibuki, you’re out!”

“D’aw…” Ibuki sighed.

“YES! I finally got one!” Spy celebrated.

“Spy, stop with that happy look, and there’s a pie coming toward you!” Malina growled.

Spy gasped at the pie flying toward him after Maya threw it.

WOOSH!

“HAHA! Missed—”

BAM!

His face was hit by the edge of a pie (plate) and immediately rag-dolled.

“My face’s all bloodied!” Spy claimed that his nose broke and started bleeding.

“OH, OH, LET’S ROLL BACK THAT FOOTAGE!”

They replayed the footage of Spy getting his nose shattered by a plate in a slow-mo.

“Damn, that shit was funny as hell. Okay, go on,” Majima finished his speech.

(CONFESSIONAL) YZMA:

“Gah, I might’ve cost my team defeat… well, as long as nobody notices it was me who gave Maya that drink, then I won’t be eliminated for incompetence.”

Maya was still dancing her way out of her enemy's pies and threw another one toward Malina, this time.

“Huff!”

SPLAT!

The demon caught it, and her arms were covered in pie.

“Malina, yer out!” Majima announced.

“What the hell? Isn’t Maya supposed to be eliminated?! I caught it!” Malina hissed.

“Wait, really?” Majima was genuinely dumbfounded.

“Yeah, the dodgeball rule says that when you catch your enemy's ball, they’re out,” Heisuke proved it.

Smack.

“Hey, stop hitting me! I was trying to tell him the truth, Miss Toast!” Heisuke added.

“I am NOT!” J said.

“Huh… It’s like that? It’s the first time I’ve seen or heard of that,” Majima thought. “Okay, you’re still out.”

“Whatever,” Malina shrugged and returned to her seat.

“I don’t remember shit about dodgeball, okay? I thought it’s just hitting people with the ball and winning,” Majima shrugged.

It’s down to Trevor against crazed Maya. Trevor made his move, but failed. Then Maya started throwing a pie barrage, and some of them flew toward the bleachers.

“Yzma, look out!”

BAM!

One of them was thrown at the sorceress and knocked her out cold.

“Damn, that’s two of their guys down.” Kiryu cringed.

“She’s knocking all of their teammates dead on purpose!” Heisuke called her out.

“Or she’s genuinely bad at aiming,” Diana added nervously.

“Why isn’t one of us knocked down, then?” J said.

And just like that, Trevor’s pie flew into the drone’s head, causing her to reboot after she was hit by the pie pan temporarily.

(CONFESSIONAL) TREVOR:

“I did it on purpose.”

“Wait, he dodged everything?!” Diana gasped.

“Slaying and dodging every night creature has its perks,” Trevor bragged.

Trevor noticed how Maya’s body started to become sluggish, and she did weaker throws.

“Ugh, what’s happening to me?” Maya groaned.

Trevor narrowed his eyes. “Now’s my chance!”

“Oh, something’s acting up with Maya again?” Majima was curious.

Trevor thought he had finally gotten Maya until he slipped on the spilled pie from Maya’s earlier throw.

“Gah, fuck—”

BAM!

Trevor fell onto the floor, and then Maya was surprised before throwing her pie onto his head, eliminating him.

“Oops, sorry!” Maya apologized. “My body’s acting weird lately!”

“Bashame thinks you said that for the 8th timeeeee!” Bashame claimed.

“Well, that was one of the most awkward failures… Maya carried her team once again. Leading up to tie 3-3! One more score and the team wins!” Majima announced.

No response.

“Oi, wake up.”

Majima kicked Trevor, and he just became unresponsive.

“Did he deadass just trip and pass out?” Malina deadpanned.

She could hear J giggling at him after she was fully rebooted.

(CONFESSIONAL) J:

“Deserved that from the pie earlier.”

“Yeah, sorta… LAW! PAUL! CARRY THIS DUDE AND PUT HIM ON THE BLEACHERS!” Majima barked.

“Yes, sir!” Paul and Law shouted in unison.

They didn’t have a hard time carrying him onto his seat, lying on his back, looking dead.

“Maya just gave us two points. Dang, that’s crazy,” Ibuki said.

“Maya? Are you good?” Diana asked.

“I’m fineeeee! I can go for the last round!” Maya said.

“No, I think you did well enough,” Kiryu claimed.

“Yeah, I’ve been itching to play the final round!” Heisuke demanded.

“Your back is still hurt, plus the goat kick,” Diana pointed out.

“Agh, dammit!” Heisuke pouted.

“Since it’s the last round, I’m gonna play,” J spoke up.

Gordon offered himself to play again.

“Alright, I’ll play. That’s everyone for the final round,” Kiryu nodded.

Malina looked at the state of her teammates. Three of them had fallen unconscious from being hit by a pie pan. Spy has a broken nose and is still trying to stop the bleeding.

“Mon dieu, that throw was strong,” Spy groaned.

“Spy. Can you play?” Malina told him.

“I don’t think I can play anymore. That madame got me good,” Spy sighed in disappointment. “I’d rather not play when I am still bleeding.”

“Great… we needed three people, and half of them are not available! Me… Pucca… and… who’s the last one?”

“Hey, guuuuuys! I wanna play!” Someone's voice was heard.

This earned their attention, and they looked at the moss head girl. Bashame was the only person available.

“Oh no,” Spy shrieked.

“Huh?” Bashame asked the other.

Pucca was slightly worried. The demon sighed as she had no choice.

“It’s you and the two of us…” Malina groaned.

“Yaaaay! Bashame will try her best!” Bashame declared.

“You two better not screw things up,” Malina ordered.

Pucca nodded at the demon.

“Bashame…”

“Yes, maaaaam!” Bashame bowed.

Majima blew his whistle to start the final round.

FINAL ROUND:

SQUIDS: MALINA, BASHAME & PUCCA

JOKERS: J, GORDON & KIRYU

“Whichever team was the last standing. They win the challenge and are rewarded! Are you guys feeling nervous, hah?” Majima grinned.

None of them spoke up or showed any reactions.

“Eh, let the final round begin!”

He signaled everyone to start. A lot of pies were thrown immediately, none of them hit anyone, though.

“Damn, first move and none of your aim does a job,” Majima sighed.

“It’s for the dramatic purpose,” J said.

“Huh?”

“TERMINATOR LADY, look out!” Ibuki warned.

J dodged Malina’s pie.

“Are you serious?!” Malina groaned at the musician.

“Hey, psst, go for the demon,” J told her teammates. “The rest are a piece of cake.”

Kiryu and Gordon nodded as they dodged the pie thrown by Pucca.

“Ready?” J commanded.

Bashame and Pucca didn’t do much to distract them; they waited until Malina was exposed in the open.

“Now!”

The trio threw their pie toward the devil.

SPLATS!

“FUCK.” Malina shouted.

“Daaaaamn, a triple splat. Bloody brutal! Also, Miss Devil Gamer, you’re out!” Majima loudly exclaimed.

“Ha. Serves that right,” J snickered.

Malina could only growl as she surrendered to her seat.

“They’re still out,” Spy informed Malina about their unconscious teammates.

“We’re so doomed with those girls on the field,” Malina groaned.

Pucca had another idea by slamming her pies into their field.

“What’s up with her?” Heisuke asked.

Pucca was busy trying to eliminate Kiryu and Gordon as she dodged everything effectively. Gordon doesn’t know how Pucca was that good, but Kiryu knew in the beginning.

Bashame didn’t do her best to eliminate the men, and J had a free throw with no interruption.

“This will be easy.”

J was going to eliminate Bashame, getting her aim locked toward the rice addicted girl.

“Hey, careful, Miss Microwave!” Malina mocked from afar.

That word was enough to cause the drone to get distracted and screwed her throw, missing Bashame.

Not only that, she ended up slipping on the leftover pie. Pucca throws her pie toward J, who has fallen.

SPLAT!

“Gah, wait, give me another chance — my programming was clouded in thoughts!” J told Majima.

“J, you’re outta here! Move!” Majima barked.

“Ugh, bankruptcy…” J groaned.

J returned to her seat and stared at Malina, who acted like nothing had happened. Trevor and Thanos had finally woken up.

“Damn, what did I miss?” Trevor groaned.

“I just distracted J,” Malina shrugged.

“Man, I can’t believe this! I missed the final round because some fool messed my beautiful face?” Thanos grumbled.

“How’s our sleepy princess? Is she still out?” Trevor asked.

“Certainly,” Spy mumbled.

(CONFESSIONAL) J:

“Malina… when I catch you… Malina…”

“We gotta try to stop Pucca,” Kiryu told Gordon.

Gordon obeyed his order and tried to eliminate her. Pucca kept dodging the pie like it was nothing.

“That kid is not normal,” Spy admitted.

“So you found out now?” Malina sighed.

“Yeah, that’s very not normal for a kindergarten child!”

BAM!

Thanos was hit in the face by a pie pan again, not from Pucca’s throw.

“Sorry!” Bashame said.

“Hey, she finally got her first hit… and it’s one of your teammates,” Trevor pointed out.

“If that was her only kill, then we’re fucked,” Malina admitted.

“I got you!” Kiryu said.

He threw his pie straight toward Pucca, and the girl jumped high enough to dodge.

“Nani?”

Pucca was airborne and threw her pie.

SPLAT!

“Oooh, looks like Pucca outsmarted Kiryu-chan. I’m impressed! Kiryu, my friend, you’re out!” Majima barked.

“Wakata,” Kiryu sighed.

(CONFESSIONAL) KIRYU:

“I’m now worried that people will figure out about Pucca’s strength. Not sure if she realizes it.”

Gordon and Pucca had a showdown when Bashame still couldn’t throw her pie accurately.

“GORDON! Bashame is still around!” Diana yelled.

He didn’t respond because him being overwhelmed by Pucca’s speed. He finally remembered his suit.

Gordon adjusted his HEV suit to enhance his performance by adding more speed and accuracy to stop Pucca. He just forgot about Bashame because he really doubts that Bashame would get him, sadly.

The two of them had acted faster than before.

“Wow, I can’t be surprised! Not only is Gordon going crazy, but Pucca is too! That tiny girl got moves! It’s a showdown between Gordon and Pucca!”

A lot of cheering was heard.

“Damn, I forgot his suit does wonder,” Trevor said.

“If this guy loses to a kindergarten, I’ll laugh and possibly make a rap song about the event,” Thanos grinned.

“Shut up, man!” Heisuke said.

The duo had a crazy duel, and none of them could get a sight of what the heck they were doing because of their speed, and Bashame is casually standing in the middle of the field, slipping on her pie.

“Damn, this acid trip is wild! I can’t even see what the fuck they were doing besides throwing their pies and missing everything!” Majima said. “Ah, wait, maybe just me having one eye.”

Both of them were still attacking and dodging at the same time. They were careful with their steps, without stepping on the spilled pie on the floor.

Both of the teams were chanting for Pucca and Gordon.

“I sometimes wonder how we have not run out of pies yet?” Majima thought. “I could’ve sworn Steve brought at least 200… Fuck, I can’t even count, whatever.”

“Man, the cleaning’s gonna be pain,” Paul sighed.

“Yeah, I hate being a janitor,” Law huffed.

His HEV Suit ran out of power, causing him to slow down. Gordon slightly gasped.

“Uh, oh,” Maya whispered.

“Dude, watch out. She’s gaining more power over you!” Heisuke wailed.

“Those guys' skill nearly matched with Maya,” J thought.

As Gordon started to slow down. Pucca thought this was her chance.

Pucca got her—never mind, she didn’t pay attention and slipped on the spilled pie.

Gordon managed to eliminate Pucca at once after she was distracted. A lot of cheer was heard in the background, mainly from the Jellyfish Jokers.

“ANOTHER SLIP AGAIN?!” Spy groaned.

“At least you’re not alone anymore for that slip-up,” Malina said sarcastically.

“Gee, thanks,” Trevor scoffed.

“Man, how did you fuck that up?!” Thanos booed at her.

“YOU DID IT, YOOOO!” Ibuki shouted.

Gordon does a victory pose after being exhausted from the battle with Pucca.

“GORDON, YOU FORGOT BASHAME!”

“BASHAME, NOW’S YOUR CHANCE! HE’S DISTRACTED IN GLORY!”

Bashame woke up from her drowsiness, taking a quick look at her surroundings and noticing her target.

“Bashame will win this for you guys!”

With her final preparation. She managed to perfectly throw her pie!

SPLAT!

“Why me…?” Diana asked who was hit by Bashame’s pie. “I just finished my make-up!”

“Really, in the middle of the dodgeball match?” J deadpanned.

“Yeah, so… uh… what about it? It’s my talent,” Diana shrugged.

Gordon was frozen in his spot after her wrong target was hit. He didn’t waste his time throwing his final pie toward Bashame.

SPLAT!

The whole Squids team facepalmed.

“Okay, Bashame’s done for… You know what that means? THE JELLYFISH HAS WON THE CHALLENGE!”

The Jellyfish celebrated while the Squids were grumbling in defeat, including the interns who were cleaning the arena, causing Yzma to jolt awake.

“WHAT IN THE YZMA’S WORLD HAPPENING RIGHT HERE?!” Yzma yelled.

“Bashame happened,” Spy told her.

Pucca got off her seat and ran toward Gordon. The scientist raised his eyebrow before the girl extended her tiny hands.

Gordon shook the girl’s hand, and she accepted it back as if they were telling each other that it was a good match.

“Oh, yeah, do we have our reward?” Maya asked.

“What reward?” Majima raised his eyebrow.

“You mentioned it,” Kiryu said.

“Oh, yeah, I remember now! Uh…” Majima looked around. “You can have that motorbike as your reward!”

He pointed at a badass-looking bike.

“I don’t think many of us can legally drive,” Heisuke chuckled.

“Whatever, man. Just enjoy it!” Majima shrugged. “Also, one of the Squids members is going home tonight. Choose carefully!”

The Squids left the stadium in pure defeat, while the Squids started to surround their ‘reward.’

“HEY, MY BIKE!” Paul cried.

(CONFESSIONAL) YZMA:

“If we end up winning. I think Maya would end up going home because of my potion effect… probably. I wouldn’t care either way, I’m glad it had worn out and nobody knows it was me.”

Trevor and Malina gathered behind their lodge.

“So… Thanos?” Trevor suggested. “Do you hate him that much? You just wanted to vote him every time you were up for elimination with purple urchin?”

“Purple urchin, hah, that’s a funny name,” Majima growled. “If we can’t get him out. Who’s our target?”

Tap.

“Uh, something’s below me,” Trevor interrupted.

They looked down to see Pucca tugging Trevor’s pants.

“These pants aren’t free, you know. Not a fit size as well,” Trevor deadpanned.

“Are you here for something?” Malina asked.

Pucca nodded and pointed toward Bashame, who fell asleep on the desk stairs of the lodge.

“Are you telling us to vote her off?” Trevor told her. “Not that I’d mind that option. Why?”

“It’s because they found out about her raw power that she was considered a threat right now,” Malina assumed.

The little girl nodded.

“So, we’re keeping you and voting out the barely improved player?” Malina said. “What if we say no?”

Pucca gave them a pleading look with her eyes sparkling. Trevor and Malina looked at each other before sighing.

“Alright, let’s hope this vote was worth it,” Trevor sighed. “Thanos would be later, sorry.”

“Pfft, fine,” Malina sighed.

(CONFESSIONAL) TREVOR:

“Damn, bastard. Tricked me with that cute stare.”

The Salty Squids made their way to the top of the hill, obviously exhausted from the trip. Majima was standing next to Mama, who carried a tray of six marshmallows.

“It’s the third time I’ve been here,” Spy grunted in frustration.

“It’s the third time for me as well, but you don’t see me complaining,” Thanos said smugly.

“So, Squids! Enjoying the pies? I hope you’re no longer hungry for a night,” Majima snickered.

No response. Just a very annoyed look from everyone.

“Bah, whatever. I hope Paul doesn’t come screaming at me for sacrificing his bike for their reward! Oh. Almost forgot! Mama, you do the thing!” Majima ordered.

Silence.

“Erm, I don’t want to do it again or I’ll make them cry,” Mama whispered.

Majima looked at the losers, mainly Trevor and Pucca were shaking their head.

“Aw, okay. Whatever… Ahoy, fellas! Looks like our new chef has spared you from her insult!” Majima grinned. “Six of you are getting a marshmallow, and the one who didn’t get any may be eliminated from the game! Let’s begin! The first marshmallow goes to…”

“Spy!”

“Yzma!”

“Trevor!”

“Thanos, somehow!”

“Fuck you mean ‘somehow’?! HUH!?” Thanos was offended.

“And Malina!”

“We’re down with Pucca and Bashame! One of your small girls is jumping off a cliff! The final marshmallow goes to…”

Bashame just had a blank stare with a smile. Pucca was fidgeting with her fingers nervously.

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

“Pucca! Your journey has been spared. Bashame! It’s time for you to jump off!” Majima barked.

Pucca caught her marshmallow, and Bashame slumped from her seat.

“Aw…”

She got up and waved goodbye to her former teammates, and then began snoring, causing Majima to nudge her, immediately waking her up.

“Ooooh,” Bashame yawned. “Bashame’s very sorry.”

Bashame left with Majima to the plank.

“Do you think she will survive the drop?” Spy asked.

“Doubt so,” Yzma said.

Later, Bashame is now standing on the plank.

“Okay, Bashame. It’s kinda sad to see you go, no matter how hard you were trying to improve, but at least you made it further than being the second boot!” Majima told her. “Hell, you even beat the cat.”

Bashame didn’t say anything.

“Alright, enough with the sob story. It’s time for you to jump!”

Bashame apparently fell asleep on the plank and slipped off.

“Oh, shit. She fell asleep and fell,” Majima said.

SPLASH!

He looked down, and Bashame wasn’t seen when the boat driver came to pick her up.

“Damn, I really hope the driver found her or else I’m having a journey to the Navy’s cellblock. Welp, that’s five people down in the locker! Thirteen remains! With Pucca’s strength and Gordon’s suit exposed to the public and becoming a threat, will they manage to outlive them? Who knows! Find out on the next episode of Total. Drama! Campers in Hawaii!”

Yzma returned to her secret underground lair.

“Well, that potion didn’t do well earlier. I must’ve brought the wrong one or used the wrong ingredients,” Yzma sighed.

Suddenly, an empty flask fell off a counter and shattered into pieces somewhere. Yzma slowly turned her head toward the source.

“Who dares to disturb my lair?!” Yzma growled. “Come out, whoever you are! You can’t hide from me!”

No response.

“If you’re not coming out. I’m turning you into a centipede and feeding you to Pinapplerat!” Yzma threatened.

The intruder tries to make a break for the exit. Unfortunately, the trapdoor closed just seconds before they could flee.

“I can hear you trying to exit. Looks like you’re stuck now,” Yzma grinned.

“No point in hiding,” a familiar voice was heard with a sigh.

She hears a decloak sound, revealing Spy.

“Bonjour, madame. It seems that I have been discovered, never been this careless,” Spy murmured. “I must admit. Building an entire underground lair alone? I find it quite impressive.”

“Spy?! How did you?”

“It is simple, madame. I track secrets. I saw you during the challenge, slipping a droplet of something special into Maya’s juice. So I said nothing and followed you. And what do I find? A secret underground laboratory,” Spy claimed.

Yzma was quiet.

“So, tell me, are you using these potions as your advantage?” Spy accused.

“Since you knew too much. I can’t have anyone blabbing about this to Majima or other buffoons. Luckily, I just have something to keep you quiet,” Yzma grumbled.

“Snitch? Oh no, you’re quite mistaken, madame. Why waste such a valuable asset? Instead, imagine what I could do for you,” Spy stopped her.

Yzma raised her eyebrow.

“In short, we’re proposing an alliance with just the two of us with a big secret. Think of me as an invisible hand. I can sneak to steal the intel, potions, and you name it… without anyone ever knowing it was you.”

“Hmm…” Yzma was stuck in her thoughts. “You want to be my partner in crime ?”

“To put it like that… of course,” Spy smirked. “We’ll be one of the most impressive teams. I won’t tell anyone as long as you accept my proposal.”

“If it meant to keep my— our secrets safe. Then, it’s a deal,” Yzma said. “But betray me, I’ll transform you into a handbag.”

“Excellent! Looking forward to working with you, Your Highness,” Spy smirked.

The two shook their hands.

[END]

CONFESSIONAL VOTES

Bashame: “Bashame found her rude and scary. Bashame doesn’t like her.” (MALINA)

Spy: “Don’t think I will snitch Yzma yet. I am going to discover her secret soon.” (PUCCA)

Trevor: “Following my friend’s order.” (BASHAME)

Thanos: “Thanos has a great feeling that there was something mysterious about her build… Oh yeah, she already tried to kill me plenty of times! Quite scary.” (MALINA)

Yzma: “Honestly, a little buffoon with that strength shouldn’t linger here longer.” (PUCCA)

Pucca: She was frowning as she wrote Bashame’s name. (BASHAME)

Malina: “So much for improving…” (BASHAME) 

ELIMINATION ORDER

18th - Tom - The Salty Squids (3-3; lost tiebreaker)

17th - Bugs Bunny - The Brawling Barracudas (3-2-1)

16th - Mama - The Brawling Barracudas (5-0)

15th - Ryder - The Jellyfish Jokers (5-1)

14th - Meme Bashame - The Salty Squids (3-2-2)

REMAINING CAMPERS

The Salty Squids: Malina - Trevor Belmont - Yzma - Thanos - Spy - Pucca

The Jellyfish Jokers: Serial Designation J - Heisuke Mashimo - Diana Venicia - Gordon Freeman - Kazuma Kiryu - Maya Fey - Ibuki Mioda

Chapter Text

“Last time on Total Drama: Campers in Hawaii! The Barracudas were no more and turned into two teams! After many swaps, they had already gotten familiar with each other due to the author’s laziness. There are still many Mama’s unused apple pies, so we used ‘em for the dodgeball challenge. It didn’t have any exciting parts in the first few rounds; honorable mention went to Trevor and Pucca fumbling the bag by slipping, then Yzma accidentally turned Maya into a powerhouse, making her enemy score two more points and catch up with the Squids. Pucca and Gordon also went HAM on the final round, but unfortunately, it was anti-climactic when Pucca ignored her step and slipped. Then, Bashame was this close to shutting Gordon down, and she fumbled really badly by hitting someone else outside the field, causing her loss for her team to lose and getting eliminated. We’re down with thirteen campers in the field. Which one of them will slam their way to the elimination? Let’s find out in this episode of Total. Drama! CAMPERS IN HAWAII!”

[INTRO]

The episode began in a very peaceful lodge of the Squids.

THWACK!

“Alright, I need to find out who the hell stole my whip!” Trevor decided to shout this when he woke up from his bed.

Someone’s voice was heard in the other room.

“Not so damn loud!” Thanos groaned as he checked the clock. “It’s not even 6:30 am yet!”

Trevor headed out of his room to see that only he, Thanos, and Pucca were inside.

“Malina must’ve been pulling another all-nighter at her arcade haven. Where the hell is Spy and Yzma?... Not like I’d care,” Trevor yawned.

Steve recently left the staff quarters with Trevor’s whip to hunt for more food.

“Where did he get that whip from?” Paul asked.

“Dude, it’s obvious! He crafted ‘em with his materials,” Law answered.

“But there isn’t any whip in Minecraft!” Paul barked.

“Really? I mean, I haven’t played that crap for a decade,” Law said.

“Why?”

“I’m broke just like you, dude!” Law groaned. “My PC’s broken when you throw me into the CPU during our sparring session!”

“That was your fault for inviting and suggesting that I fight in your room, of all places!”

Unbeknownst to them, Spy was invisible and trying to gain information about their next challenge in secret without disturbing the interns.

“Speaking of which, what happened to your bike?” Law asked Paul.

“My bike, eh?” Paul hummed. “They ruined my baby! I recently got it fixed until that bluish-pink goblin hog and broke it! Pretty sure that child doesn’t even have a damn license to drive.”

“Wow, if you connect the dots between ‘child’ and ‘driving.’ That results in a fast car accident!” Law said smugly.

“Hey! I need that money to pay for my bike repair!” Paul crossed his arms. “I bet you don’t have anything to pay currently.”

“Dude, my son is still hospitalized after that European Princess treated him dirty!” Law yelled.

The spy accidentally stepped on a mousetrap, activating it and trapping his foot.

“Oh, finally! Did we catch our rat?” Paul gasped.

“About time, baby! That rat was a freakin’ nuisance for a while!” Law grumbled.

“It’s your fault that you left the peanut butter on the floor!” Paul blamed him. “Now a good bunch of them are raiding our post!”

The spy quickly detached the mousetrap and put it back where it was. He quickly moved away from the interns. The interns arrived and didn’t see anything that caught their trap.

“Dude, I feel like there’s a ghost in here,” Law told Paul.

“Ghost? You’re too crazy, ghosts don’t exist!” Paul chuckled.

“No, dude. I wasn’t lying! I could hear footsteps!” Law groaned.

“Are you telling me that we somehow captured our ghost?!” Paul exclaimed.

“Something like that… YES! Where else is the mouse?! Look! The bait is gone as well!” Law pointed out.

“Look, bro, I don’t believe it,” Paul hummed.

“C’mon! At least trust me!” Law said. “Okay, fine, we’ll get Steve to help us.”

Paul shrugged and followed his buddy outside the quarters. Spy sighed in relief.

“Ah, finally, some time alone,” Spy sighed, as he uncloaked himself and noticed there weren’t any security cameras.

“Erm, whoops, forgot my stuff,” Paul said. “I gotta head back.”

“Oh no.”

Spy’s cloaking has run out of time and was stuck inside the quarter.

“Merde,” Spy groaned inwardly.

Paul was this close to opening the door until someone intervened.

“Oh, hey, guys,” Mash entered the scene.

“MASH! Where the heck have you been?!” Paul exclaimed.

“I was busy with other things,” Mash said as he chewed on his cream puff. “Also, you left this.”

It was Paul’s wallet.

“Oh, thanks, pal! Where did you find it?” Paul thanked him.

“You left it in the cafeteria,” Mash responded. “What were you doing earlier?”

“This guy said there was a ghost inside and I’m going to inspect ‘em with my… erm… fists!” Paul chuckled.

“I told you something was wrong!” Law groaned.

“Oh, uh, Eyepatch Pops called you guys again; he’s asking you for something in the next challenge,” Mash informed them.

“Be right there, pal!” Paul salutes.

“Okay, let’s go!” Law exclaimed.

The interns completely forgot about the ghost problem and left the quarters alone. Spy left with a sigh of relief.

(CONFESSIONAL) SPY:

“You know. I’m kinda glad they didn’t resort to using fire to detect spies like me.”

He forgot that his foot was hurt from the mousetrap.

“Oh. Well. Excuse me.”

Deep breath.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

Spy left the confessional booth and was jumpscared by Yzma’s appearance.

“What in the hell?” Spy said.

“What were you doing here? Did you find anything?” Yzma asked.

“Ah, right. Here’s what I have gathered for our next challenge. But before that, is anybody nearby?”

“Nope.”

Spy nodded and whispered to Yzma about their next challenge, giving Yzma an idea.

“Huh, that doesn’t sound complicated. But I must brew something to help us,” Yzma declared. “I hope it won’t take that long.”

“Affirmative,” Spy nodded. “So… are you going to say the thing ?”

Yzma thought for a second before she finally got an idea of what he meant.

“To the secret lab!”

They did that and entered the hatch. The two of them are standing in front of the gate, with Spy taking charge of pulling the lever.

“Pull the lever, Spy!” Yzma orders.

He pulled the wrong lever.

BAM!

A piano landed above her.

“Wrong lever,” she weakly muttered.

“Apologies, madame,” Spy coughed.

“You would know which lever you would pull!” Yzma groaned in pain.

“I didn’t know which one. It’s the first time I’ve used these,” Spy claimed.

“Then how did you manage to sneak in?!” Yzma called him out.

He flipped them open because it’s a revolving gate. For some reason.

“Whatever, just pull that one.”

Spy pulled the right lever. The partners in crime were taken on the rollercoaster ride to reach their lab.

(CONFESSIONAL) YZMA:

“Seriously. Why do I BRING those abomination sticks every time?! And I clearly don’t remember building that revolting door!”

“So… what did you bring me here for?” Diana asked.

Diana was brought into the arcade building owned by Heisuke and Malina after winning that reward from the quiz challenge.

“Well, how do I say this?” Heisuke was stuck in thought. “Um…”

“Uh, don’t worry. I can wait!” Diana assured him.

“Right! I remember now! Let’s start an alliance!” Heisuke suggested.

Silence.

“Oh… I didn’t expect that… Sure, why not… also why?” Diana replied.

“I mean, the two of us interacted a lot? I thought it would make sense for us to work together, and probably bring us into the final two,” Heisuke added.

“You got a point… since you’re my friend, then I’ll accept your offer!” Diana exclaimed.

“Sweet, thanks, Diana!” Heisuke said.

“I can hear your little alliance talk here, you know?” A mysterious voice was heard.

They investigated the source and found Malina slumping her head on one of the arcade machines. Something about a strategy game, which is still ongoing.

“Staying up all night again?” Heisuke asked with curiosity.

“Don’t blame me. Those games are pretty strategic and… frustrating ,” Malina groaned. “This army freakin’ eyesore to deal with.”

“Oh, yeah. They’re definitely a pain in the ass to deal with,” Heisuke added, despite not knowing who these guys were.

“Are you allowed to bring an uninvited guest here?” Malina yawned.

“Majima never states it, so yeah, I think you can sneak someone in here as long as he doesn’t see you?” Heisuke chuckled nervously.

“Ooh… playing stealth… huh… oh well, I might invite Trevor later,” Malina groaned. “Fuck, I need some sleep and maybe some vodka.”

“Erm, no, I’m not old enough to drink,” Diana declined.

“Blegh, your loss,” Malina said.

“Do you think the two of us are enough?” Diana asked.

“Uh… not sure. If we wanted to bring our third member, who would it be?” Heisuke said.

“It might sound weird, but, uh…”

She whispered to Heisuke.

“Ooh, that’s… actually not a bad idea!” Heisuke claimed. “We can add him since he’s gentle toward everyone. I doubt he would decline the offer—”

“I’m still here,” Malina snores.

“Right! Let’s leave!” Heisuke commanded.

(CONFESSIONAL) HEISUKE:

“Okay, the first step of allying is done! Now we gotta make sure our little secret won’t be exposed to the public like my true occupation—I mean, uh, my horrible guitar skills!”

“Heeeey, Toasty!”

“What do you want?” J groaned.

“Ibuki was wondering if you wanted to join Ibuki for something fun !” Ibuki grinned.

“What kind of ‘fun’?” J sighed. “Lemme guess. Music?”

“Nah, Ibuki got no sick guitar to play with. That’s lame!” Ibuki complained. “Ibuki has another idea! We’re gonna be having a competition on who can smash a lot of coconuts!”

“That’s it?” She was genuinely dumbfounded.

“Yeah!” Ibuki nodded.

“You do know that you’re fighting against a powerhouse, right?” J reminded her.

“But Ibuki was told by Thanos that you don’t shoot Rocket anymore!” Ibuki said.

(CONFESSIONAL) J:

“Of bankruptcy course, he would do that.”

J somehow went along with Ibuki’s weird game, and yeah, there were a LOT of coconuts on the ground.

“Wow, did you really pick them one by one, or did you use someone?” J asked.

“Oh, Ibuki did it by herself! Did you know that Ibuki almost died from a coconut? Not even a first time!” Ibuki laughed.

“Wow, that’s very careless of you,” J deadpanned.

“Aw, but Ibuki thought you had died plenty of times… probably from that purple emo version of you!” Ibuki claimed.

“Wha… WHERE THE HELL DID YOU LEARN THAT FROM?!”

“Treffy told me!” Ibuki grinned. “Okie-dokie, I think we can start the game! Are you in?!”

J had her chainsaw out and was about to cut the musician, then immediately restored to her normal state when she faced her.

“Fine, is there a rule on how we should break ‘em open?” J asked.

“Use your head!”

Silence.

“Wait. What?”

“Yeaaah, it’s fun! Trust Ibuki!” Ibuki said. “If you got a durable head, then let’s get smashing!”

J sighed as she regretted joining Ibuki’s game.

Well, it took that long to crack everything open. Save for Ibuki’s head suffering head trauma, J had a little crack on her visor, which was later fixed on its own thanks to her nanite acid.

“Sooo… the overall winner is… you?” Ibuki announced.

Ibuki only cracked three coconuts open, while J had twenty of them cracked open.

“I told you before,” J reminded her with a sigh.

“Oh well… Ibuki congratulates you!” Ibuki cheered. “JeJe reminds me of Ibuki’s friend, Peko-Peko! Peko-Peko almost looks the same as you!”

“JeJe?” J said with a puzzled look. “What’s with that weird nickname?”

“I dunno, just came up in the spot,” Ibuki claimed.

“Honestly, I’ve been called a toaster, microwave, laundry machine, and more. This one’s fine,” J stated.

“Wowie, thank you, JeJe! And I can’t believe that Ibuki finally found a gaming partner,” Ibuki said.

“Did you ever ask anyone else to play this game?” J questioned her.

The musician froze.

“Erm… lemme see… Big guy declined, Lil’ Puccy went POOF, Freeman was crawling in the vents like an impostor, and… OH, RIGHT! Maya! I think she was hospitalized for headbutting too many coconuts when we played earlier!”

Cut to Maya in the infirmary. She’s currently sitting on a cot with a bandage wrapping her forehead and an icebag.

“Maybe headbutting coconuts wasn’t the smartest idea,” Maya winced.

She looked at the nurse, and he was just scrambling whatever he could find in the cabinet, and obviously inexperienced.

“Are you sure you worked as a nurse before?” She asked the male nurse.

The nurse is wearing a red uniform that isn’t coming from the medical equipment. He turned around and revealed a burn scar on the left side of his face.

“Uh… hold on, I think I do? Probably with fire and screaming,” Zuko said. “Sorry, Uncle Iroh’s out today. He’s out there meditating or brewing tea… Name’s Zuko… I’m kinda new here.”

“Cool. What do you do?” Maya asked.

“I think it would be best if you keep your lips sealed. I’m trying to find a solution to heal your injury,” Zuko stated.

“Right. Sorry,” Maya bowed her head.

A few minutes later. Zuko was still searching the cabinets.

“Hey, medic? What am I getting healed?” Maya asked the doctor.

“Oh, I found it,” Zuko responded.

He brings out a comically large syringe that probably doesn’t heal but rather kills her. Maya turned pale at the sight of the syringe, and she started stammering.

“I think this will do,” Zuko claimed.

“W-w-w-wait. WAIT. WAIT—A SECOND THOUGHT, PLEASE—”

“You didn’t bother to check Maya?” J asked.

“Nah! Ibuki thinks she can do it on her own, the medic’s got her! What do you think of the game?” Ibuki answered.

“It’s fine, I guess,” J admitted. “Had a little fun with it.”

“It was AWESOME ! Our skulls are like the ultimate nutcrackers, Jeje! Ten outta ten. We’ll play this again!” Ibuki grinned.

(CONFESSIONAL) J:

“You know… I don’t kinda mind playing these types of games again. Like how Tessa and I used to play, minus headbutting coconuts.”

“Ahoy, campers! GET YOUR GODDAMN BUTTS TO THE SHORE FOR YOUR NEXT CHALLENGE!” Majima yelled through a speaker.

“Okay, let’s play again after this!” Ibuki said. “Pinky promiseeee?”

J sighed and accepted her promise.

Just after Ibuki and J left the coconut field, leaving a mess everywhere. Steve returned with a crafting table, attempting to craft something new with a coconut, and noticed the mess.

“...”

Steve began throwing a tantrum by jumping repeatedly, whipping the air, and spinning 360 degrees.

The twelve campers gathered at the shore.

“Bashame’s out? Well, damn,” J said. “Not like I care…”

“Hey, toasty! We’re gonna win this again!” Thanos yelled.

“Will you keep your mouth shut?” Trevor groaned.

“What’s with the sour mood?” Kiryu asked.

“He still hasn’t found his missing whip,” Malina responded to the ex-yakuza.

“Alright, campers! It’s time for the most exciting race!” Majima grinned, although he stopped when he noticed something odd. “Oi, where the heck is May-May kid or something? Mala?”

“Maya.”

“Yeah, where the frick is Maya?” Majima asked them.

“I’m here!”

Maya appeared in full sweat, still wearing her bandage wrapped around her forehead.

“Geez! What happened to you?” Diana asked in a worried tone.

“Stuff happened,” Maya giggled.

“Yay! Ibuki’s happy to see you healthy!” Ibuki cried.

Gordon wanted to see if Maya’s doing fine, which she responded with a nod.

(CONFESSIONAL) MAYA:

“In truth. I ran away, actually.”

“Don’t worry about the bandage! I can still throw a punch!” Maya claimed.

“Damn, brave of you for joining the challenge despite not fully recovering, and it’s still risky,” Majima shrugged. “Oh, well. Now that all of you are present. I’ll get to explaining your next challenge! It’s racing, as I mentioned before.”

“Race again? It’s like… the third time we’ve used this format,” Yzma groaned. “Are we rowing a boat?”

“Erm, yeah.”

He adjusted his shirt.

“But first!”

Majima pulled a lever next to him. The whole island began shaking, causing panic, except for J, who remained unfazed.

“Did a great volcano erupt?!” Heisuke yelled.

“RUUUUUN!”

“Well, this island’s going into the sinkhole,” Trevor stated.

A literal bridge has emerged from the ocean instead. Yeah, it’s much bigger compared to the one used in the dolphin challenge.

“How did you manage to build THAT?!” Maya asked.

“A pirate’s secret! Don’t mind it, and the boat here will be used to bring you guys there. Hop in, everyone!” Majima gestured.

Meanwhile, they were brought to one side of the bridge, while the host remained on the opposite side.

(CONFESSIONAL) KIRYU:

“I truly wonder how long it took for Majima and his… pirate crew to build this bridge?”

“Dude, what the heck?” Heisuke said.

“What’s wrong, kiddo? The host is NOT competing in this wild racing game!” Majima spoke through a speaker. “Although I wish I could join.”

“How do we race?” J asked. “Do you expect us to build a vehicle?”

“By foot, you AI slop!” Majima called out, making a few giggles from others, while J made a disgruntled noise.

“It’s simple! All you have to do is race across the bridge until a team gets their full member on the other side,” Majima instructed. “Well, duh, obviously, there are traps involved. Might be a well-hidden booby trap or whatnot. I’m sure it ain’t that fatal enough! At best, you might be put in a wheelchair after this.”

Several contestants gulped.

“Of course! What do you know about the bridge being suspiciously empty?” Malina muttered.

“Oh, come on! I’m sure it ain’t that terrible compared to whatever Chris cooked,” Heisuke reassured them.

“He’s a former yakuza and an active pirate captain roleplayer. I don’t trust him,” Yzma huffed.

“Indeed,” Spy followed.

“I hope so. When do we start?” Kiryu said.

“NOW!”

A loud DING was heard.

“Do we need a strategy for this?” Ibuki asked.

She was immediately interrupted by a stampede of the campers, running over her and leaving a lot of footprints on her body.

“Ouchie…”

Meanwhile, Spy and Yzma remained behind. Yzma scooted closer to her ally.

“You told me the next challenge was going to be a shoulder tackle match! I brewed the potions that make our bodies too slippery to be pushed by someone else!” Yzma scolded.

“Well… the point is. It didn’t mention the schedule for when this challenge will be held,” Spy defended himself. “Assuming the bridge has a lot of booby traps. I doubt the potions would help us.”

“I’m doing great so far!” Maya bragged.

And then she stepped on a hidden spring trap, launching her back to the start.

CRASH!

She landed on Ibuki.

“Ough…”

“Sorry…”

Spy was currently in the lead, stepping every tile carefully in case the trap suddenly showed up. Thanos skedaddled past him whilst jumping.

“What’s the matter, old man? Getting old already?” Thanos taunted.

“We’re in the same team, you purple scrub,” Spy groaned.

“Purple scrub? Man, whatever. I’ll see you on the other side, okay?” Thanos pointed at the mercenary.

He advanced further, hopping tile to tile.

“This game feels familiar somehow.”

One of the tiles was flooded with LEGO bricks. Thanos was the first victim to step on it.

“AAAAAH!” The rapper wailed in pain.

He dropped onto the floor and clutched his foot.

“Heh, sucker,” Trevor snickered.

And Trevor stepped on the pool of nails.

“GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” He screamed.

He fell onto the floor to take out the nail, while Malina just made a disgruntled noise.

“HAHA! Suck on that, Treffy!” Thanos mocked.

“I would rather walk on the nails than those bricks,” Trevor huffed.

(CONFESSIONAL) MALINA:

“I thought we were teammates, why the fuck are we fighting? …Doesn’t matter anyway, it remains the same if I took Trevor’s spot.”

For the other team… they’re not doing so well either.

“AAAAAH!”

Diana was snatched by a giant mousetrap, the zombies have been summoned through teleportation for Gordon to fight, and Kiryu was immediately trapped inside a cage that appeared from above.

Only J and, surprisingly, Heisuke, were doing decent work. Also, Pucca is doing a great job for the other team.

“What the heck was that?! How did she survive the giant axe swing?” Heisuke called out.

“It’s just one person. The rest are falling behind,” J said. “Well… including our teammates.”

“Look! There’s something on that table!”

There’s a single apple pie being left unattended on the table.

“Skip. We’re not eating those,” J told him.

“Makes sense. This bridge is filled with booby traps,” Heisuke added. “Damn, I’m hungry.”

They skipped past the table. Back to Pucca.

Pucca just casually destroyed every trap she had encountered. Arrow barrage? She pulled the tile open to block them. Anvil? A single punch split them open. Paul and Law dressed as monsters? They got annihilated by a single slap.

“What the frick?” Majima was utterly flabbergasted and confused. He was watching the footage from the monitor. “Eh, if that kid made it that far. I’m sure she will be the first one to reach here.”

Surely, Pucca just got trapped by an iron box with no way out after triggering it from a pressure plate.

“Ah, well, that box is gonna hold the little girl back at least,” Majima stated.

Only for Pucca to tear them by running through the wall, creating a Pucca-shaped hole. He was flabbergasted with his jaw hanging open.

“God damn, that kid’s strength is really subpar with Kiryu-chan,” Majima admitted. “Man, I do wonder how she’s doing if she’s fighting that .”

(CONFESSIONAL) PUCCA:

She only giggled.

Wow, a rare Pucca confessional!

Ahem, back to the start.

“Whoa, how do we even pass this?” Ibuki asked.

“No idea! That Trevor guy just stepped on a landmine earlier,” Maya pointed out.

“GUYS, WATCH OUT! SAWBLADE!” Diana alerted everyone.

The saw blade was mowing toward Spy.

“Oh no.”

He jumped over the vertical saw blade, barely missing his jewel.

“You could’ve just walked away,” Yzma deadpanned.

“I’m dodging ‘em in style ,” Spy huffed.

“Flying knives inbound!” Ibuki alerted everyone.

Everyone hid behind a cover.

“This is too brutal for a simple foot race!” Maya complained.

“Welcome to Total Drama. How may I help you?” Trevor chuckled.

“This is useless! We haven’t reached the quarter of the portion because of those stupid traps!” Yzma growled.

“I think they stopped,” Diana said.

“How about you take a peek?” Spy recommended.

“Uh… sure?”

She raised her head, and the trap was no longer activated.

“We’re good to go,” Diana told them.

“Really? What about the hidden spring trap?” Malina scoffed. “I’m sure one of us would activate them right away.”

“Ibuki will do it for you guys!”

She ran straight line with no consequences.

“Oi, she found a lead! Let’s follow her!” Thanos commanded.

Thanos walked through the same path, except the trap was activated and electrocuted him from the floor tile. He dropped to the floor.

“I see… those traps activate randomly,” Kiryu sighed.

The rapper got up and shook his head.

“Oh, wow. Now your hair looked like a porcupine’s spine,” Malina snickered.

“Shut the hell up, lady! This whole game is rigged, I say!” Thanos barked.

He stood on one of the tiles, and suddenly the tile disappeared and fell into the pool full of leeches. Another scream was heard from him.

“I was on that tile for a while,” Spy recalled.

“This whole game is biased against me!” Thanos yelled as he jumped out of the pool and took the leeches off.

Thanos spent a lot of time yapping about the game that they didn’t notice the rest of the Jellyfish had advanced further.

“Hey! They’re moving!” Yzma called everyone out.

Majima remained to watch the monitor, mainly Pucca, who was near the finish line.

“She’s getting good…”

Paul and Law showed up with their costume and were covered in bruises.

“Seriously. What the heck was that? How did you manage to find a child with that strength? No doubt she could solo the whole Mishima Family!” Law groaned.

“Yeah! I’d be embarrassed if that kid beat Kazuya before me!” Paul huffed. “We still had our little rivalry…”

“And she’s going to hit that—”

“SHHHH! NO RUINING THE BIG SURPRISE OR I’LL CUT YOUR SALARY!” Majima threatened them. “EVEN BETTER! I’LL BRING KUMA TO FIGHT YOUR SORRY ASSES!”

“Erm, what ‘big surprise’? We were never informed,” Paul replied.

He realized his crew didn’t know the big surprise. “Confidential! The punishment still applies!”

The two of them were shivering in fear. And Paul suffered more when he mentioned the bear of the Mishima Family. Law noticed something different.

“Erm, Captain,” Law meekly said.

“WHAT?!”

The intern pointed at the girl on his right side. Pucca had already made it to the end, and she was waving at the trio.

“Oh, I didn’t see ya there because I’m busy yelling at my workers,” Majima dusted his suit. “I must say, I’m impressed with ya, kiddo! You’re the first person to reach the other side of the bridge!”

Pucca looked around the area. She was currently in a tent, and there was a whole buffet outside.

“Well, feel free to go back and wreck through the course again to help your teammates, or you can watch the monitor with us and laugh at the campers!” Majima offered. “Or just be a glutton and eat those meals.”

Pucca was considering the former, but she chose the second option instead and joined Majima to watch the footage.

Heisuke and J had been separated not long ago because of the two-way entry. J was scanning the suspiciously empty surroundings.

“C’mon, stupid programming, work dammit!” J grumbled, repeatedly banging her head.

She strolled further until she finally detected a movable object in front of her. It was rather slow to approach her, so J had to walk up to them.

“Wait…”

She got closer to the entity and froze in her spot.

It was only Steve rowing his wooden boat on a concrete floor for some reason. The drone could only give him an annoyed glare.

“How is this supposed to stop me?” J said.

The miner looked at her before minding his business again, rowing mindlessly on a concrete floor.

“I don’t wanna bother anymore,” J groaned. “Just don’t get in my way.”

Meanwhile, in the other room. Heisuke was currently running in the empty corridor with a weak light source.

“Man, I kinda don’t remember where this building came from? It just kinda appeared from nowhere!” He talked to himself.

He stopped at the hedge maze.

(CONFESSIONAL) HEISUKE:

“Aw, heck! I hate mazes!”

Surprisingly, the rest have made good progress in the race only because they did it off-screen! They were standing in front of a huge chamber that just appeared from nowhere.

“I feel like this place will make everyone around you vanish instantly,” Maya thought.

“Well, of course! It does look like that!” Yzma grunted.

“Okay, be careful, comrades,” Spy told them.

“Okay, ladies first!” He pointed toward Malina.

“Whatever,” She spoke up and entered.

One by one, they entered the chamber until Kiryu was the last person.

(CONFESSIONAL) KIRYU:

“Whatever Majima brings up inside. It won’t be that fatal, I hope.”

Yeah, just like Maya said earlier. Everyone suddenly vanished and was trapped in separate rooms.

Gordon was in the tiny room containing three levers to pull. He scooted closer to inspect them very carefully. All of the levers were identical, and he wasn’t sure which one to pull.

After a few decisions, he pulled the right lever. The wall suddenly revolved 90 degrees to make him pass through it.

BAM!

He crashed into J.

“Ugh, what’s in the tech-robo suit are you doing here?!” J groaned.

He pushed his glasses up.

“Right… I forgot you’re incapable of speaking,” J sighed. “Where the hell can we find the exit?”

He shrugged. He got up and worked with J.

Kiryu and Maya were currently trapped in a suspiciously empty corridor. Maya took her first step until she was dragged back by Kiryu.

“Huh, what’s wrong—”

The tile she stepped on earlier had fallen off. They looked down, and it was the ocean at the bottom.

“Oh, that’s not too bad!” Maya quipped.

And came a few mechanical sharks twirling around the bottom.

“Never mind.”

“We should take caution on this part. One wrong move, you’ll be a shark lunch,” Kiryu hummed.

Maya nodded. Kiryu took his first step, and it was a real tile.

“Hey, wait! Why don’t we just tap the tile to see if they’re real or not?” Maya suggested.

“That’s not a bad idea,” Kiryu hummed.

Somewhere. Diana was alone and was stranded in a maze.

“Puzzle is not my thing,” Diana sighed. “Oh, well, better look for the exit.”

As she entered the maze for the first time. Thanos arrived at the entrance.

“Damn, maze? Give me a break,” Thanos quipped.

As Thanos entered the maze. Trevor and Malina followed by.

“I can’t believe we got stuck together again,” Malina huffed.

“At least it’s one of your cool guys,” Trevor chuckled.

“We’re splitting up, or what? I swear if we split up, then gluing us back together would be a pain in the ass,” Malina said.

“Nope. We’re sticking together, fuck mazes,” Trevor said.

“Good.”

Meanwhile, Diana unknowingly activated one of the traps in the maze. After stepping on the pressure plate, an anvil appeared above, and she just walked forward to dodge the blow.

BAM!

“Eek?! Where did that come from?”

She activated another one. Diana noticed she dropped one of her kits onto the floor.

“Oh.”

She crouched down and unknowingly dodged the giant axe swing. She got up without being aware.

“Alright, that’ll keep up!”

OOF!

She and Heisuke crashed into each other. The two were shocked and got up.

“Diana! It’s good to see you!” Heisuke said.

“You… It’s good to see you again!” Diana gasped. “I was starting to be lost forever alone in the maze.”

“You’re in luck, then!” Heisuke grinned.

“Luck? As in finding an exit?” Diana raised her eyebrow.

“Uh… No. I meant like, finding someone else in this confusing maze and trapped with me,” Heisuke stated awkwardly. “Look. I explored every part of this maze, and I couldn’t find it. I’m starting to think this was a huge waste of time, and I couldn’t find the entrance to this maze.”

“Ah… Haha… You do know there’s no exit without completing the maze?” Diana said.

“Dammit, man,” Heisuke sighed. “Oh, well. We can work together and find them!”

CLANK!

“Huh? What was that?”

The trapdoor below them opened, causing both of them to descend into the pit. None of them discovered the exit of the maze.

“AAAAAH!”

CRASH!

They landed in the ball pit.

“Oh, thank god. I thought it would be spikes or anything,” Heisuke broke his sweat. “C’mon, I think we gotta move.”

“Ah, just a second…” Diana’s leg was stuck in the ball pit.

“Lemme help you out.”

POP! Diana’s now free.

“Thanks!”

“So, uh, where do we go now?” Heisuke asked.

“Look! There’s a light source over there!” Diana pointed at the furthest wall.

“Oh, yeah, I noticed. Don’t you think this screams a booby trap?” He rubbed the back of his neck.

“Well, we had no other option…” The cosmetologist sighed.

The two of them made their move toward the light source slowly.

“Um, if something happened… uh… get behind me,” Heisuke said meekly.

They reached the destination. It was a huge gate that spelled EXIT.

“Great! We found the exit. How do we open it?” Diana said.

“Hey, look! There’s something else over there,” He pointed at the machine.

They stopped at a machine that says ‘Insert Thanos’, which will open the gate once he is inserted.

“Uh… Thanos? The Thanos from the Squids?” Diana muttered.

“That’s a very specific requirement,” Heisuke added. “And he’s probably somewhere far from here.”

“And… we can’t go back. We’re trapped in here,” Diana sighed.

“Dammit…”

The mercenary discovered a very suspicious-looking door, but he entered it anyway because it was the only way.

“Oh ho! This might be my exit!” Spy declared.

Once he entered the room…

“What the hell?”

He was greeted by 20 Pyros aiming their flamethrower at him.

“MMPH! MMPH!” The Pyro commanded.

“FUCK!”

FWOOOOSH!

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

The fire has faded.

“Huh?”

All of the Pyros in the room are wearing red uniforms, and Spy could only facepalm.

“Of course,” Spy groaned as he shoved his allies to advance further. “I must admit. You embarrassingly got me good.”

“Mmph, mmmph!”

“I don’t want to see you again,” Spy exhaled.

Just the moment after he exited the Pyro’s room — BAM!

He and Yzma collided with each other.

“YOU! Where have you been?” Yzma said.

“Please. I thought I would die earlier because of friendly fire,” Spy raised his eyebrow.

“Forget it, now that we’re here. I wanted to tell you something,” Yzma huffed.

“Is it about those potions again?” Spy assumed.

“Forget those! I wanted to show you this !” Yzma grinned.

She showed him a tiny compartment, gaining Spy’s another question.

“What the heck is this?”

She began whispering her plan to Spy, who responded with a slight nod.

“I see no problem with that. When are we using her ?”

“Now. Well, if we find her in the open, that is.”

“Alright,” Spy nodded. “Be careful out there.”

The duo had entered the next room, and Spy heard Yzma’s scream after her foot got snatched by a bear trap immediately.

“GAAAAAAH!”

“Oh, well, she’s fine,” Spy muttered with a shrug.

Ibuki was in the laser room.

“Whoa, a disco party!” Ibuki gasped. “Would set the mood higher if Ibuki gets to perform!”

Gordon and J walked into the room.

“Lasers. How original,” J sighed. “Are you going to make a move?”

Gordon suggested it should be her first. The drone sighed.

“Again with this crap? Last time you told me to mount a moose, and it ended unprofessionally,” J said.

Gordon shrugged and volunteered to be the first victim instead to please the drone.

“Good,” J said. “Have fun.”

He just walked forward, hitting every laser, and got himself hurt. He was unfazed and kept walking forward after getting burned by those lasers.

“Whoa, he’s unstoppable! No wonder he’s the greatest goat of the resistance!” Ibuki complimented him as J left her jaw hanging.

Gordon reached the other side. “ Vital signs critical. Automatic healing system engaged, ” His HEV suit said.

“ Morphin administered ,” The suit finished healing the man, and he smirked at J.

(CONFESSIONAL) J:

“No wonder Bugs got rid of him in the last season over that suit.”

“My turn.”

“Great! Ibuki’s rooting for ya!”

She’s just going full-badass mode at dodging the lasers with pure skill, and she made it across without being hit.

“Well, I did better without getting myself hurt,” J scoffed.

The man shrugged. He looked at the musician.

“You’re next,” J said.

He was worried about Ibuki’s safety and had a feeling that she would die in the first second upon stepping inside the laser corridor.

“Okay! Ibuki’s on the move!” She was about to move until she noticed something. “Oh, wait. What’s this?”

She pushed the hidden button, and the lasers disappeared. Both of them were shocked, save for Gordon laughing silently.

“I WORKED FOR NOTHING?!” J yelled.

“Damn, that’s even more embarrassing!” Ibuki chimed in.

She strolled past the area, and Gordon followed, leaving the drone devastated.

“Ugh, this game’s treating me like a joke. I sure hope there’s nothing wrong going on in the future,” J grunted.

She followed the duo.

Malina and Trevor were trapped in the maze. Well, Thanos’ in the maze too, but we’re focusing on the veteran duo.

“Hnngh, screw off!”

Malina just bent the giant axe with her fist and fully stopped the swing, creating a loud CLANG.

“I forgot how comically strong you were since you’re immortal,” Trevor said.

“And you’re glad that I’m your gaming buddy instead of tearing your insides,” Malina scoffed. “I can’t believe the irony of a person who slays monsters has befriended one of them.”

“Feel like it’s the eighth time you brought this up, outside the game as well,” Trevor replied. “But I’m happy with what we got right now.”

“Yohoo!”

They turned around to see Thanos.

“Great, you again,” She deadpanned. “What is it?”

“What? Can a man ask for teamwork? We’re a team here!” Thanos scoffed as he threw more corny lyrics. (I’m terrible at comin’ up with the lyric, ok?)

“Someone summon a miracle to get rid of this guy,” Trevor whispered.

“I hear that, you op!” Thanos hissed.

Suddenly, the rapper stepped on something.

CLANK!

“Huh?”

The trapdoor opened.

“WHOOOOOOOOOOOOA!”

They turned around, and he’s just gone.

“Where did he go? Is he pranking us again?” Trevor assumed.

“Don’t worry, he’ll be fine,” Malina shrugged. “He’s just screwing around.”

A giant hammer was going to land onto them after Malina unknowingly triggered another trap.

“Malina—”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it. I know,” Malina said.

She just fisted the hammer, bending it completely.

“This maze completely exhausts me. Where the hell is the exit?” Malina growled. “We searched everything and still found nothing. If only we found a loophole to escape this god forsaken maze.”

Suddenly, Trevor had an idea, grinning delightfully devilish.

Meanwhile, at the bottom of the maze. Heisuke and Diana were sitting near the gate, waiting for a certain requirement to arrive.

CRASH!

A new guest has landed in the ball pit.

“Who’s there?!” Diana gasped in shock.

“It might be one of those bad guys coming for us!” Heisuke shrieked.

“Ay, ay, be quiet! I’m very good!” A familiar voice rang.

“Huh… isn’t that?”

Thanos showed up in front of them and immediately did a corny pose to introduce them.

“Yo, what’s good, Thanos Gang?” Thanos said. “Meeting up with the other team was not a part of my grand plan!”

“You found someone else in the maze?” Diana asked.

“Sure! That old man and a hot demon chick!” Thanos replied. “What the fuck are you two sitting here for?”

Heisuke’s eyes started to light up. He immediately grabbed the rapper’s sleeve.

“Heisuke?”

“Hey, what the—”

“Sorry, dude! I’ll owe you later!” Heisuke cried.

Heisuke tossed Thanos into the machine, and it began making sounds that caused him to scream inside. Heisuke and Diana flinched at the sound of pain.

“Why would you do that? That’s just uncalled for,” Diana said worriedly.

“I know, but we don’t want to get trapped in here forever,” Heisuke stated.

“That’s true… I don’t know what will happen to him. I hope he survived the machine,” Diana said. “I think you might’ve killed him.”

The duo finally left the ball pit zone to continue their race.

Thanos was launched out of the building, causing him to crash into the starting line.

(CONFESSIONAL) THANOS:

“I feel like this episode was designed to slander Thanos the Great! If that keeps happening, I’ll have to pull up my meta strategy.”

“Well, it worked now!” Heisuke celebrated.

“Yay, we’re free!” Diana exclaimed. “WATCH OUT—”

BANG!

Heisuke ran into another metal and fell to the floor.

“What the heck?”

And then another gate blocked them from leaving the area. This time, the machine has asked to insert another camper to open.

“I hate this place, dude,” Heisuke groaned.

Spy and Yzma were climbing the ladder. There were five ladders really close to each other, and it was designed for the campers to switch ladders.

“Above you, madame!” Spy warned.

An anvil was landing onto her, and Yzma quickly switched her ladder to dodge the blow.

“Who came up with this ridiculous trap?! Bugs Bunny?” Yzma grunted.

“Maybe he’s out there and built this bridge to torment us after we voted him out,” Spy thought.

“Of course, it’s not that out of reach to assume it was that darned hopper behind this stupid crap!” Yzma hissed. “I’m actually glad he’s out, or he will be a huge bother to our plan when he discovers our lab.”

Somewhere. A certain bunny was resting in Honolulu city. He’s just hiding in plain sight to dodge his unpaid hospital bills.

“I feel like I’m being insulted,” Bugs said.

Spy warned her once again. “Right above you.”

Yzma switched her ladder, narrowly dodging death.

“How long is this freakin’ ladder?!” She groaned.

“We’re close, come on, we don’t have all day,” Spy assured.

“Please. I got a bear trap, squashed, exploded, pricked, was mauled by a bear, and more! What more do you want from me?!” Yzma complained.

“I dunno, your guess,” Spy shrugged as he was still climbing. “I genuinely wonder how you're still alive?”

“Something about a torture chamber filled with a rancid smell. Eugh, I wouldn’t like that,” Yzma cringed.

The two of them made it to the top. They noticed the new door.

“Shall we?” Spy commanded.

“You do it,” Yzma grunted.

“Whatever.”

He opened, and his face began to pale. He shut it really quickly before facing the sorceress.

“What is it?”

“Ugh, it’s the most despicable thing you’ve ever witnessed in your very eyes,” Spy claimed.

She took a peek and opened the door. “What the crap? A PERFUME DEPARTMENT??? OF ALL THINGS???”

“You really predicted the rancid smell,” Spy pointed out. “You doomed us both.”

“Forget that! Let’s search for the other exit!”

The other exit in question was a river filled with rough alligators, with nothing to get across.

“On second thought…”

“The only way off the chamber is through the… perfume… department,” He pointed at the door dramatically.

“Never took you as a person who was afraid of perfume… well, I couldn’t blame you for that,” Yzma shrugged. “So… are we in?”

“Let’s do this,” Spy sighed.

The moment they entered. The worker immediately started assaulting the duo with various perfumes.

“Just smile and wave,” Spy said.

A perfume sprayed the mercenary, earning a disgusted reaction.

“BLEEEH!”

It was Yzma’s turn to be assaulted with the spray; she reached the same as the former.

“Ngoooh!?”

She fell down on the floor before getting back up. Spy was in the lead until he was sprayed again, holding him back.

“Merde…”

“Come on! What’s takin’ you forever—AUGH!” She was sprayed again.

“Crap. Stop fussing around!” Spy grunted as he picked Yzma up.

Then both of them were sprayed into their faces, blinding them for a short amount of time.

“AAAAH!”

Spy jumped over the spray to evade the smell; unfortunately, another one sprayed above, causing him to fly through it, enduring the smell.

Yzma brought her gas mask, which appeared from nowhere. She was convinced the smell wouldn’t bother her until one of the workers pulled the mask and sprayed it into her face.

Minutes after spray, after spray, after spray… Spy was dragging his fallen comrade to make their way to the exit. Both of them were sprayed at the same time.

“We’re close. I can feel it,” Spy coughed.

“We can’t… linger longer in this department!” Yzma groaned.

They got sprayed again, beginning to become exhausted from the run, as they kept getting sprayed.

“Lord, have mercy on us!” Spy cried.

“I CAN SEE IT! OVER THERE!” Yzma pointed at the exit.

Suddenly, 10 workers surrounded them with their various perfumes and ambushed them for the final time.

“GRAHHH!”

BAM!

Spy and Yzma finally left the perfume department, coughing for fresh air.

“Finally. Fresh air,” As he coughed. “That was the worst torture I’ve ever faced.”

“Indeed! Now that wack-ass shit is over, we can finally move on with whatever wrench they’re throwing at us,” Yzma growled. “Let’s go, Spy!”

“I got your six,” He replied weakly.

(CONFESSIONAL) YZMA:

Sniffs. “It doesn’t smell bad, actually.”

Maya and Kiryu discovered a lever.

“What does this do, Kiryu?” Maya asked.

“I don’t know. We just found it,” Kiryu said. “It already looked suspicious.”

“Are we skipping them? What if they actually bring us out of this building?” Maya said.

“Maya. Everything’s a trap in this area. We can’t trust a random lever at this point,” Kiryu told her.

“Aw, I guess you’re right. Let’s skip the lever,” Maya sighed.

They left the corridor without touching the lever. After a few moments of silence.

BAM!

Malina broke the wall open and entered the corridor with Trevor.

“Just to clarify,” Malina ordered. “This will be my first and last time to use my strength. I’m trying to play fair, and I cheated only because the maze fuckin’ sucked and you would know it.”

“Lesson learned, lady. Now, what do we have here?” Trevor pointed at the lever.

“Eh, looks dangerous,” Malina shrugged. “Do you want to do it?”

Silence.

“Do you? I’m waiting,” Malina huffed.

“Why the heck not? Curiosity killed me,” Trevor admitted.

The two of them just agreed to pull the suspicious lever. He pulled the lever, and suddenly their body started to glitch before disappearing.

They were teleported outside the chamber, and they’re near the end of the bridge now.

“I must be imagining things,” Trevor spoke up.

“No. It’s real,” Malina said. “I can’t believe that suspicious lever brought us out of here.”

“That’s good. No need to worry about the maze anymore. Just dodge any booby traps around this area,” Trevor said.

Thanos worked hard to return to the same building where he was launched.

“Thanos boutta make his redemption, bro!”

He opened the door and was met by a bear.

“ROOOOOOAR!”

“AAAAAAAH!”

The bear began chasing after him.

Gordon, Ibuki, and J are now in the corridor maze. Different from the other one.

“Yohoo! JeJe! Can you scan the area for us?” Ibuki plead.

“Sure, I guess.”

She scanned the area and couldn’t detect the exit. “Nope. I found nothing.”

“Aw, man. Ibuki thought JeJe would be helpful,” Ibuki sighed.

Gordon was giggling upon hearing the drone’s nickname.

“Seriously, why are you calling me that?” J groaned.

“Why? Because you’re Ibuki’s gaming partner now!” Ibuki said.

“Oh,” J said. “The coconut game, of course.”

Gordon was curious about the coconut game.

“Okay, Ibuki will explain the rules! So—”

The metal hand slammed into her mouth to prevent her from speaking.

“Mmmfmph?”

“You hear that?” J said quietly.

The man could only arch his eyebrow.

Thump. Thump.

“Erm, that’s spooky!” Ibuki quipped.

“I think we’re not the only residents in this maze,” J claimed.

Sniff.

They turned around to see a giant antlion guard from Half-Life 2. Gordon immediately gestured for them to run away.

“Why are we running? It looks cute!” Ibuki said.

“Shut up and follow him,” J ordered as she dragged the musician with her.

The antlion roared and charged at them. The trio made it to the sand field, and Gordon stopped them from moving forward.

“What is it?” J groaned.

“Heeeeey, why didn’t JeJe just annihilate that big boss?” Ibuki is asking a great question.

“Uh…” J said.

Gordon told her that her claws and chainsaw would’ve done enough damage to the antlion. But that wasn’t what he was going to tell them. He began hopping from platform to platform, suggesting that the girls follow his lead.

“Is this quicksand? Ibuki doesn’t see the sand moving,” Ibuki claimed.

The musician stepped on the sand without heeding Gordon’s warning, and a few antlions emerged from the ground and started attacking the intruders.

“AAAAH!” Ibuki yelled.

J was quick to slice the first antlion before it hurt the musician.

“Ow, thank you, JeJe!” Ibuki said.

“Will you stop with that stupid nickname and move?” J groaned.

Gordon and Ibuki hopped platform to platform as the drone was busy handling the antlion soldiers with her limited arsenal.

Gordon landed inside the hut and discovered a weapon crate. He found a submachine gun inside. Ibuki peeked from behind.

“Ohohoh, what’s this? Going full action mode, Freeboy?!” Ibuki said.

He nodded and told her to stay back to let him deal with the antlion guardian with J.

“But Ibuki wants to help her gaming partner!” Ibuki pleaded with him. “Can Ibuki do something to help you guys?”

He pondered a little. After remembering her talent, he just requested her to serve as background music and call it his ‘moral support’ or something. Idk what I was cooking.

“OOOH! Okay, Ibuki’s down for that! One action-packed music coming right up from my lips!” Ibuki announced as she started the beat.

As Gordon left the hut to start shooting. The drone was thrown past him by the antlion. He barely dodged the drone and began attacking, while Ibuki sang a background song.

The drone got up after the crash. She glanced toward Gordon, shooting the antlion guard, and Ibuki was dropping a beatbox.

“Sigh… I gotta help them,” J said.

She froze in her spot when she noticed the exit.

“Oh.”

She escaped the maze, leaving Gordon and Ibuki inside.

“I suppose they will be fine,” J claimed. “Gordon’s a powerhouse to handle that creature.”

She looked around and grinned.

“Hah. I’m alone. That’s cool, now I can start planning for some strategy to keep myself in the game—OOOOOOOOOAH!”

The hidden trapdoor below her opened, and she fell into the hole.

CRASH!

“What was that?” Heisuke asked.

“Let’s find out,” Diana replied.

The drone got up and met those two.

“Oh. Just the two of you,” J mumbled. “What the robo-hell were you sitting here for?”

“Uh… It’s kinda complicated to explain, and you won’t like it,” Diana admitted nervously.

“How complicated?”

“For starters… we…” Diana was cut off by Heisuke.

“Great! We need some help from you!” Heisuke grinned.

“What is it?” J replied. “You'd better make it worth my time—”

He immediately tossed her into the machine that required the drone to open the second gate. J was launched out of the building and landed on the starting line.

(CONFESSIONAL) J:

“ARE YOU FUCKIN’ KIDDING ME?!”

The second gate opened, and both of them were exposed to the sunlight, and they’re now leaving the building.

“YAY! WE’RE FINALLY FREEEEEE!” Heisuke cheered.

“What a relief!” Diana sighed.

The interns were having a blast watching Thanos get dunked on with various traps, including J, who was recently brought back into the starting point.

“Man, I can’t believe they managed to pass those silly gates!” Law chuckled. “We really thought of that idea.”

“Haha, true, buddy!” Paul replied.

Pucca was still the person who had passed the bridge and was watching the footage with Majima. She was rooting for Malina and Trevor, who were making their way to the end.

“Just wait for the surprise, Pucca! They were not like you, and it’s gonna be so dang challenging for them!” Majima grinned.

“HAHA, look at that mercenary! His jewel got hit by a golf driver,” Paul laughed at Spy.

“That old lady just got dunked into the electric eel-infested pool!” Law called out.

(CONFESSIONAL) SPY:

“I know you two are out there laughing at our terrible luck.”

Gordon barely managed to fight off the antlion guard with the weapon he looted throughout the course, and Ibuki was just there to support him with her singing to serve as background music for him.

“Whoa, that was a piece of work, Freeman! Ibuki is very impressed!” She complimented the scientist.

He acknowledged her compliment with a nod.

“Okay, let’s leave this area!”

Silence.

“Oiii, Freeman! What are you doing?”

He was climbing on the corpse of the antlion guardian, snatching something from inside its body.

“Freeeeeeakman! That’s so freakin’ gross!”

Gordon found an organ and showed it to Ibuki, telling her that it would help them in the future.

“Ewww, that’s stink! How’s an organ gonna help us?!” Ibuki said.

He used the Pheropod organ and summoned the antlion soldiers. Instead of attacking them, they obeyed him like he was their leader. He’s commanding the antlions to follow him and not to hurt Ibuki.

“Oooh, I see now! No wonder Freeman’s a genius!”

They quickly left the building.

(CONFESSIONAL) GORDON:

He showed off the organ as if he were telling them that it would be useful for the challenge. He accidentally squished the organ, summoning his soldiers, and now the booth was flooded with antlions, and he was struggling to escape.

Kiryu and Maya finally left the building.

“Man, that course was exhausting. I don’t think I want to face another alligator,” Maya stated.

“I have fought sharks, tigers, and the whole of Majima’s scheme. Somehow this one does not weird me out,” Kiryu admitted.

“OH, FINALLY!”

The pair turned around to see another pair of Spy and Yzma leaving the building.

“Curse you, perfume department!” Spy cursed.

“I’m never touching a bridge full of booby traps again,” Yzma grunted as she noticed the other pair. “What are you two doing here, peasants?”

“We just got out?” Maya answered.

“Alright, let’s move! We’re still racing!” Spy said.

The two pairs began to move. Ibuki and Gordon were the next pair to leave.

“Oiii! We’re still in the game! Ibuki can see her teammates racing with Gramp and Granny!” Ibuki pointed out.

Gordon nodded, and the two began to sprint.

Near the end of the bridge. Malina and Trevor were careful to dodge the booby traps.

“I hate those invisible mines,” Malina said.

“Damn, straight. I could still sense my embarrassment from that blindfold challenge,” Trevor replied. “Are we first?”

“Honestly, no idea. We got lost track of each other when we entered that stupid building,” Malina sighed. “Let’s hope we’re not dead last.”

“What about Pucca?”

“That little kid got strength… shit, I think she might’ve passed the course,” Malina stated.

“Afraid that she will overpower you or something?” Trevor joked.

The demon glared at him, threatening to slash his throat. He does a mock surrender.

(CONFESSIONAL) TREVOR:

“Not the first time I’ve been threatened like this.”

Meanwhile, J was the second-last person to leave the chamber after restarting the whole thing.

“I swear if I end up being last…”

Thanos was still somewhere inside the building, suffering in the perfume department.

“THIS SMELLS SHIT!” Thanos complained.

He was sprayed again.

“AAAGH! YOU’RE GONNA RUIN MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!”

In the end, Malina and Trevor stopped at the huge border.

“Come on, now…” She sighed. “Is there another way to go past the border?”

“How about we jump high like those Italian plumbers?” Trevor said.

“That’s freakin’ stupid. We don’t have a power like that unless you’re a Shonen guy,” Malina huffed.

Heisuke and Diana arrived.

“Oh, hey, guys! We forgot about you for a good while,” Heisuke said.

“They’re not in our team,” Diana told him.

“I know that,” Heisuke sighed. “Also, what’s this? Can we get past this border?”

“Nope. It’s too tall to jump or climb across,” Trevor answered.

Yzma and Spy arrived.

“Merde. Another roadblock,” Spy hissed.

In the tent, Majima has been grinning menacingly, and Paul and Law gave him a concerned look.

“I don’t like this, dude,” Law whispered.

“It’s gotta be that big surprise he mentioned,” Paul whispered back. “What would it be?”

“Must be a nuclear bomb. I will find it impressive if he managed to legalize it,” Law whispered.

“Damn, I really wish I could legalize nuclear bombs,” Majima sighed.

“So… not a nuke?” Paul said.

“Of course NOT! I ain’t a freakin’ war criminal!” Majima stated.

“You were a former yakuza Lieutenant and an active pirate captain,” Law answered.

“Ya wanna bet that I could bring a Moroccan Princess to hospitalize your kid again?” Majima shot back.

“NO! I’m already fuckin’ broke and he’s still in the cot!” Law groaned.

The bridge began to shake, and Pucca looked up to Majima.

“It’s nothing to worry, kiddo! You’re in the safe zone, including those interns!” Majima stated.

Suddenly, Pucca doesn’t feel concerned. On the other hand…

“What the frick?” Malina said.

“Ay, we’re having a rough earthquake!” Ibuki said.

The other two pairs: Ibuki and Gordon, and Maya and Kiryu, who had just arrived at the border, were confused.

“Shouldn’t we hold onto something?” Heisuke told them.

“Don’t be stupid! It might not be an earthquake!” Yzma groaned.

“What would it be then, granny?” Trevor said.

Her eyebrow twitched for a second. “Something malicious is brewing,” she answered.

FWOOSH!

“Look!” Maya pointed out.

Suddenly, a giant tentacle emerged from the water, slamming toward the campers. All of them were quickly scattered in panic.

“LOOK OUT!”

“AAAAH, WHAT THE HECK?!”

“WATCH OUT!”

Kiryu heard the warning and dodged the tentacle from crushing him.

“Nani?”

A giant squid emerged from the water and stared at them intensely.

“WHAAAAAAA—” Heisuke turned pale.

“I don’t wanna bother anymore,” J stated.

“Ibuki’s gonna pass out, bye-bye guysies!”

Ibuki passes out while holding a rose that appeared from nowhere. Gordon crouched down and tried to shake her awake, needing her for another background music stunt.

“I’m not born to fight this shit, like, what the fuck?!” Trevor said.

“YOU FOUGHT A GIANT GRIM REAPER BEFORE!” Malina called him out.

“Okay, fine. I was serious. I never fought any sea creatures. Monster or not,” Trevor responded.

“EEYIKES! IT’S COMING!”

Everyone ducked to dodge its heavy swing. J finally arrived at the chaos.

“What in the robo-hell happened here?” J questioned.

“We’re fighting a giant squid, dumbass, can’t you see it?” Spy stated.

“Why can’t you just run away?” J said.

“The border, J! THE BORDER!” Diana barked. “Sorry, that came off rude…”

“Hey, where’s Pucca and Thanos? I haven’t seen them for a while,” Spy told his teammates.

Heisuke and Diana felt a pang of guilt for what they had done to Thanos earlier.

“Forget those! WATCH OUT!” Maya yelled.

They all dodged the slam, including Gordon, carrying Ibuki’s unconscious body to move her away from its designated target.

Thanos finally reached the giant squid’s stage, and he was high enough to think it was normal to witness that.

(CONFESSIONAL) THANOS:

“Hey, I used the meta off-screen. You'd better not learn what it was! It’s a huge secret!”

“Oh, you’re finally here,” Spy deadpanned. “Where have you been?”

“Alright, safe to say, Pucca makes it to the end,” Trevor told them. “Or died and we didn’t know.”

Somewhere in the tent, Pucca pouted at his response.

“Yo, Kiryu-chan! I thought you were strong enough to fight this thing!” Thanos said.

“A single punch wasn’t enough to paralyze a giant tentacle. You gotta know that,” Kiryu deadpanned.

“Ay, demoted robot chick!” Thanos called her out.

“A single chainsaw can’t cut the whole thing!” She shot back.

“Man, I wonder if we can have a takoyaki from a giant squid,” Maya was already fantasizing about the food.

“You guys are hopeless,” Malina sighed.

Yzma tapped Spy’s shoulder.

“What?”

“Remember that tiny compartment I showed you earlier?” Yzma reminded him.

“Why, yes. I clearly do remember. Who was the target again?” Spy whispered.

She pointed at J.

“Of course. That would make a huge amount of sense,” Spy grinned. “Very well, stay back and let me handle the problem.”

The campers were trying their back to fight off the giant beast, and Gordon couldn’t use the organ yet. He would need to keep Ibuki away from the area.

J had been slicing the tentacle with her chainsaw, and only gave it a tiny cut.

“I wish I had my full weapon if it wasn’t for Pen embarrassing me and getting myself demoted,” J sighed.

Thwack!

She felt something hit her back, causing her to slump forward.

“Who was that just now?” J barked as she didn’t see anyone nearby.

Spy was invisible when he taped a tiny compartment on her suit, chuckling silently. But he was slapped by a tentacle, which sent him flying and crashing into Yzma.

“OOF! Watch where you were going to land, fool!” Yzma barked.

“Apologies, madame,” He said as he got up and offered his hand to help her.

She accepted it. “Now, what about the compartment? Did you successfully tape it without being caught?” Yzma said.

“Of course. Now what?” Spy said.

She began to grin and pulled out a joystick.

“It’s absolutely going to be a brilliant sight,” Yzma smirked maliciously. “Just stay back and let me handle the failing microwave.”

“Be my guest, Your Highness,” Spy shrugged and went behind Yzma.

(CONFESSIONAL) YZMA:

“Remember when I said I kept J because she was useful for certain things and went for Tom? Now you know! ”

As the campers were busy trying to fend off the giant squid. Suddenly, J programs began to act differently.

“Ugh… what the?”

Her body jerked forward on its own.

“What’s going on?! Why am I moving on my own?” J hissed.

“Heya, J!” Maya waved at her.

Suddenly, her arm jerked toward the spirit medium and knocked her out with a loud clang.

“Nani? What was that for, J?” Kiryu approached Maya’s body.

“It wasn’t me! I feel like I was being controlled,” J grunted.

Now she had her claws out and aimed toward Kiryu.

“Crap,” Kiryu mumbled silently.

“Wuh, wait—”

Her body began to slice Kiryu, who had been dodging every swing.

“Hey, what’s up with that robot fellow?!” Diana asked Heisuke.

“I dunno… I think she was mad for what we’ve done,” Heisuke answered.

“Why was she targeting Kiryu and not us then?” Diana hummed.

“Uh… maybe they got a personal beef, yeah. She knocked down Maya as well,” Heisuke pointed out.

“Make a move, dumbass!”

Thanos pushed the duo out of the way, and he was charging toward the border.

“That’s rude!” Diana huffed.

“I mean, we attempted to kill him once,” Heisuke shyly admitted.

“What is he doing with the border?” Trevor asked as he saw the rapper banging his head.

“Maybe he had gone insane during the course, I dunno,” Malina shrugged. “Kinda the possibility.”

“Huh… make sense,” Trevor replied.

“Does he not see the giant squid attacking us?!” Heisuke wailed.

Yzma was having fun controlling J to mess with her teammates. Spy faked his cough to gain her attention.

“May I?” Spy asked for her permission.

“Have fun with your little toy, eheheheh,” Yzma chuckled as she handed him the joystick.

“Perfect. Let’s make her day a very unforgettable one,” Spy smirked.

“J. You gotta stop,” Kiryu failed to convince her.

“I CAN’T!”

(CONFESSIONAL) KIRYU:

“I would’ve defended myself from this sudden ambush, but the thing is, I don’t hurt women… especially a female robot.”

Malina noticed the commotion next to her.

“God damn clankers,” Malina grunted. “Going all out on killing her teammates instead of the giant threat.”

“What’s a ‘clanker’?” Trevor asked.

“Do we not have anything against the squid? We’re dodging everything, and our main damage source was attacking Kiryu-san!” Heisuke cried.

“Ibuki and Maya are out cold as well! Where the heck is Gordon?” Diana joined.

Gordon suddenly appeared with an antlion swarm jumping toward the giant squid.

“Whoa, what’s that?!” Heisuke pointed out.

And one of the antlions attacked him.

“HEY, HEY, NO BITING! AAAAH!” Heisuke yelled.

Gordon had only ordered his antlion soldiers not to attack Ibuki, so they’re swarming everyone in the scene, including the giant squid.

“GET THIS THING OFF ME!” Trevor tried to throw the antlion off his head.

Gordon facepalmed and ordered his soldiers to stop attacking his allies and go for the giant squid instead. Safe to say a lot of them landed in the water and drowned, but don’t worry, a new one will spawn when one of the four soldiers in the field dies to replace them!

Kiryu was still trying to defend himself from J’s ‘malfunction.’

“Snap out, J!” Kiryu gritted his teeth.

“I have no power to control myself; someone has been pulling the strings!” J complained.

Spy and Yzma were still goofing around with J’s programming. Thanos took a peek from behind.

“Yo, what’s that for?” Thanos asked, causing the duo to yelp in surprise.

“Don’t scare us like that, you urchin!” Yzma gritted her teeth. “It’s none of your business!”

“Damn, come on! Are you playing video games without Thanos the Great?!” He huffed.

“Uh. No.”

He was not happy.

“Hey, Spy! You. OUT!”

He kicked Spy out of his way, disarming the joystick, and the rapper hogged it.

“What are you doing?!” Yzma grumbled.

Spy had gotten up before noticing the giant swing after its eyes were prickled by one of the antlion soldiers.

“TAKE COVER!” Spy warned her.

She heeded his warning, except for Thanos. Thanos got slapped so hard that he didn’t even get to have fun with the controller.

Not only that. The squid slammed and continued its swipe until it reached the border, creating a big hole that was big enough for everyone to get inside.

BAM!

Several debris is falling into the campers.

“Shit. Run!” Trevor said.

BAM!

A giant debris landed on top of Malina’s head, but it was split into two, and she was unaffected instead.

“Seriously, how are you not dead?” Maya complained as she had recently woken up from J’s attack. “ALSO, WHAT ARE THOSE BUGS?!”

“Yooo! Gordon’s back in the action!” Ibuki cried as she had also recently woken up.

“Okay, but what is J doing—”

BAM!

Debris landed on Maya’s bandaged head, knocking her out again.

(CONFESSIONAL) MAYA:

“Man, I need to see the medic after this.”

“Hey, Trevor. Forgot that squid, we got a race to finish,” Malina told Trevor.

“Huh?”

He saw the hole and noticed Diana calling Heisuke to join her. Then, Yzma gestured to Spy to keep moving because the Jellyfish were too busy fighting a giant Squid. Spy had taken the joystick again.

“I guess the fun’s over,” Spy sighed. “What do we do with this?”

“Leave it on automatic mode, then we can run off to the finish line,” Yzma commanded.

The duo left the zone to advance toward the end of the bridge after Spy set the controller on auto mode.

“THE BORDER’S BROKEN! WE GOTTA MOVE!” Heisuke called them out.

“Guys — I need some help!” Kiryu called his teammates.

“Dang it, I forgot about that crazy chainsaw lady!” Heisuke said.

“I AM SERIAL DESIGNATION J!” J cried as she kept swinging her chainsaw aimlessly at Kiryu.

Gordon was still busy commanding his antlion soldiers to attack the squid as it was using its tentacle to remove the soldiers.

Heisuke rushed toward Kiryu to save him from J’s madness.

“AAGH, SOMEONE STOP ME!” J begged.

“How?! I’m only here to save Kiryu!” Heisuke said.

“I’m your teammate, dumbass!” J gritted her teeth.

Thanos had woken up and noticed Ibuki singing background music for Freeman’s antlion shenanigans.

“Hey, hey, let Thanos the Great spice up the music, yo!” Thanos bragged.

“Okay, bet!” Ibuki grinned.

Both of them started making whatever noise to count as music to ‘support’ the scientist.

“What’s up with those two?” Diana deadpanned.

Malina, Spy, Yzma, and Trevor reached the finish line.

“GAAAAAH! FINALLY! I hate those stupid bridges,” Trevor exclaimed in satisfaction.

“You'd better owe us a reward for this torture we’ve been through,” Yzma grunted.

“Your rapper ain’t here yet!” Majima pointed out. “Bring him here, then you guys can enjoy your reward!”

Pucca appeared and waved at her teammates.

“Damn, I knew your stupid ass power would bring you as the first victor,” Trevor chuckled.

“Are we going to head back to save Thanos or what?” Spy asked his teammates.

“Honestly? I’d rather stay here than go back to walking through landmines and a giant squid,” Malina stated.

All of them agreed with the demon statement and stayed in the safe zone, hoping for Thanos to magically show up at the finish line, so they could win the reward and immunity.

Diana was dragging Maya’s unconscious body across the ruined border. Heisuke and Kiryu couldn’t hold together to stop J’s madness. Gordon was on its tentacle and kept ordering his soldiers to attack the squid, and the duo of musicians were humming background music.

“Ugh… what’s going on with my team lately? I need to bring Maya to safety. I can’t leave her here,” Diana sighed.

She carried Maya’s body to the finish line. Heisuke and Kiryu had nearly died for plenty of times from J’s chainsaw and claws.

“Seriously, is there anything we can do to stop her?” Heisuke complained.

“Nothing so far,” Kiryu hissed.

“I told you guys, but you wouldn’t listen!” J sneered.

“We already know! Well, controlled or not, we gotta find a way to shut you down,” Heisuke stated.

Kiryu parried her chainsaw into the exposed wound of the squid’s tentacle, causing the squid to jerk its tentacle off a bridge, sending Gordon flying, and he landed back on the bridge. He realized he lost his Pheropod.

“FREEEEMAN! OVER THERE!” Ibuki told him the location of the lost organ and saw it.

He was crawling to reach for his Pheropod, but the squid smashed the organ into puddles. Suddenly, the antlion soldiers are no longer interested in attacking; instead, they just leave. The scientist stood up in defeat.

“Aw, man, what a bummer!” Ibuki sighed.

“That was a real failure of your part, Freeman! I thought that would’ve been a sick inspiration for my next album!” Thanos groaned.

The giant squid eyed the scientist menacingly.

Gordon put out a nervous smile and shrugged at the squid. The giant squid slapped him away with its tentacle, sending him flying. Hoodwinked style.

“Oooh, that harsh slap is gonna send him into another country!” Majima slapped his thigh as he laughed hard.

“FREEMAN! NOOOOO!” Heisuke cried.

“Heisuke, look out!” Kiryu warned him.

“EEYIKES!”

He ducked at the right time, and she managed to cut the 0.1mm length of his haircut.

Diana and Maya made it to the finish line.

“Finally! Our first and second Jellyfish members have cleared the course! What the frick are the rest doing?” Majima grunted.

“They’re fighting for some reason?” Spy claimed, acting innocent as ever!

Maya woke up begrudgingly.

“This is what getting a piano dropped on you with Toon Force felt like…” Maya stated. “Where am I?”

“You’re in the safe zone! Thank your girl for saving your butt,” Majima said.

“Oh, thanks. Diana! What did I miss?” Maya asked Diana.

“J knocked you cold, then she’s killing your teammates,” Trevor told her.

“I don’t believe it. For what reason?” Diana huffed.

“I dunno. But now’s the good time to get rid of that microwave when you lost,” Malina shrugged.

Heisuke unknowingly stomped on the joystick and broke it until it was no longer functioning against the drone. J’s now free from the madness.

“Yes… YES! I CAN FEEL MY BODY AGAIN!” J exclaimed in victory.

“You gotta owe us for the injury you’ve caused upon us,” Kiryu showed her his plenty of cuts she had done to him.

“Yeah, especially my hair!” Heisuke demanded.

“Your hair is still the same, bozo!” J scoffed.

“Are you seriously ignoring the fact that you tried to kill us?” Heisuke gasped.

“How many times do I have to remind you?” J deadpanned. “I was controlled.”

“Source?” Heisuke demanded.

“Forget it! The squid is still here!” Kiryu told them.

They dodged another slam; the three made their run for the border.

“Okie dokie, it’s time for Ibuki to run!” Ibuki followed her teammates.

“HEY, DON’T FORGET ME!” Thanos cried.

Eventually, all of them had finally escaped the giant squid area.

The campers at the finish line saw their teammates.

“Thanos… come on, now,” Spy sighed.

“YOU CAN DO IT!” Maya cheered for them.

“THANOS, GET YOUR ASSES IN HERE!” Malina shouted.

“Chill out, ladies! I’m coming in hot!” Thanos grumbled before dropping some bars about racing to the end. “I’m waiting for a huge praise from you if I made it, alright?”

“On second thought. Please don’t get to the end, so we can eliminate you,” Malina said.

“Yo, what the fuck’s with you, my lady?!”

They forgot the bridge was filled with booby traps. Ibuki was electrocuted the moment she stepped on a tile with electric traps.

“BLUBLUBLUBLUBLUB—”

“Haha, can’t even watch your step!” Thanos mocked her.

And then he ran into a pole, stopping him with a loud clang. Heisuke triggered a trap that caused the wire to tie his legs.

“OOF!” He had a hard fall.

“Kiryu! Watch out for that spring pad!” Ibuki, who somehow recovered, warned him.

It was too late for him to realize. He stepped on one and launched him forward instead. And Kiryu was the third member to finish the race after he landed on the finish line.

“Let’s go, Kiryu- chan ! Stubborn as ever!” Majima grinned. “Well, it’s a great thing you found a shortcut.”

“OOOOH! Let’s use that thing!”

J was the first one to use the shortcut; instead, it was replaced by a bomb, exploding her into ashes.

“Fuck.”

“HAHAHA, that’s a great prank!” Ibuki giggled.

“Shut up.”

“Shoo! Thanos needs to win!” Thanos shoved the girls.

“Girls? Can you guys help me cut the wire?” Heisuke pleaded for their help.

Instead, the girls were too busy to catch up with the rapper.

“Man, come on! We’re on the same team! Where’s the teamwork?!” Heisuke groaned.

Heisuke just fiddled with the wire until he managed to free himself.

Thanos was this close to reaching the finish line.

“Whatever you do, do NOT celebrate too early,” Yzma ordered.

“MAAAAN, I’M WINNING THIS RACE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! *mumble rap lyrics* After much energy wasted on this running, I’ll finally get to enjoy the reward and—”

He didn’t follow her order, and he fell into a pit.

“You’re right, we gotta vote him out for this,” Spy told Malina.

Pucca nodded.

Ibuki and J finished the course.

“YAAAAAY! Ibuki’s number one!” Ibuki celebrated.

“Finally,” J groaned.

“Technically, you’re the 10th person to finish the course,” Yzma muttered.

“NEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!!!” Ibuki called her out.

“Why do I even bother?” Yzma grunted.

“Who’s left?” Kiryu asked.

“Heisuke! His legs were occupied by something!” Maya pointed out.

“Don’t worry! I got this!” Heisuke yelled.

Thanos was trying to climb back to the ground after he fell into a pit.

“Thanos. You’re born to rise to the top! You can do this!” Thanos murmured.

“Wait. We can just go back to the course and help them, right?” Diana asked.

“Yeah, you can,” Majima told her.

“Great! Let’s go save—”

A giant axe landed in front of her, almost cutting her in two. She was frozen in shock and began stammering. Kiryu eventually had to drag her back to the safe zone.

“Never mind,” Kiryu sighed.

“Damn, she’s fucking terrified,” Malina scowled. “Good job for traumatizing a child, Majima.”

“Eh, ain’t my fault, really. That trap just happened in 1/10000 chance,” Majima shrugged. “Her luck was terrible today.”

They were not convinced.

Heisuke managed to cut the wire off with his teeth.

“Eugh, I’m never biting this thing again,” Heisuke was disgusted.

“There he goes! He’s free from being chained!” Ibuki called him out.

“I’M ON MY WAY!”

Later, Thanos climbed out of the pit.

“WUAH! Thanos’ finally free from hell!” Thanos celebrated and saw Heisuke.

They froze.

“YOU?!” Thanos and Heisuke pointed at each other, yelling.

Both of them began to race. The teams began to cheer for them.

I’m not filling this shit, bruh. I just wanna end this episode 😭. Have a time skip, and pretend most of them were attacked by more hidden traps off-screen.

They’re now really close to the finish line.

“YOOOO! THEY’RE COMING!” Ibuki screamed.

“Come on, I don’t have all day,” Spy retorted.

Anti-climactic ending jumpscare:

“GAHHHHHHHHH!”

Heisuke and Thanos jumped and crossed the finish line at the same time. There was only silence beside the heavy breathing from those two who had gone through a lot.

“Uh…” Majima rubbed his head.

“Well? Who won?” J said.

“Boys, replay that footage!” He ordered the interns.

Law and Paul replayed the footage. All of them surrounded the interns to watch the footage as well.

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

“THAT’S IT! HEISUKE CROSSED THE LINE, WHICH MEANS THE JELLYFISH HAS WON THE CHALLENGE!”

Heisuke was the first person to cross the line, making Thanos last. His team cheered for him, while the Squids weren’t happy with Thanos.

“YAAAAAAA! I did it! I didn’t disappoint you guys!” Heisuke was in tears.

The vampire hunter noticed something was missing.

“Hey, that’s great and all, but what about Freeman?” Trevor questioned.

Silence.

“Has anyone seen him?” Diana asked her teammates.

Realization.

All of them responded by shaking their head. Heisuke had a realization.

“OH MY GOD, HE WAS SENT FLYING BY THE SQUID!” Heisuke screamed. “HOW DID WE FORGET THAT?”

“Dammit…” Kiryu sighed. “I forgot because of a certain drone…”

“I was being controlled!” J groaned.

“Yeah, but you were the main reason why we have forgotten about Gordon,” Heisuke admitted.

“Oh… Freeman wasn’t here at all,” Majima chuckled awkwardly.

He eyed the Squids.

“Welp, that makes it clear! The Salty Squids won the race and will enjoy their immunity and prize instead!” Majima announced.

Pucca does a celebration pose as her teammates were cheering this time.

“Finally! Took your ass forever to get here,” Malina growled.

“Hey, heeeey, I was having fun in the race!” Thanos defended himself.

“If by ‘having fun’, do you mean getting crushed by a giant squid repeatedly?” Spy said.

“What giant squid? I don’t remember that,” Thanos admitted.

“You’re joking,” Yzma deadpanned.

“What’s our prize?” Trevor asked.

“Oh, uh, here you go!”

He tossed a gravity gun from Half-Life.

“Are you sure that was the brightest idea for a prize—” Law was cut off from speaking.

“Now, have fun!”

The Squids left the tent and hopped on their ride back to the island. The Jellyfish remained in the tent.

“Dammit. Sorry for everything,” Kiryu sighed in defeat.

“Sorry, Kiryu- chan and his pals! You’re sending one of your members off the camp tonight! See ya on the hill!” Majima waved goodbye. “Okay, go look for Freeman. He might be floating on the water.”

“Okay, captain!” Paul and Law saluted in unison.

Gordon had recovered a few hours later and was sitting with the rest of his teammates, except for J.

“Where’s J?” Maya asked.

“I would rather have our conversation without her presence,” Heisuke stated.

“Yeah, plus she’s in deep trouble,” Kiryu sighed. “She’s probably afraid of facing us.”

“So… are we going for J?” Diana said. 

“Yeah, yeah! Get her out! She had done enough damage in the last season and manipulated my goat, Charles Calvin!” Heisuke said. “I still wonder why she came back for another shot.”

“To be fair, nobody takes J seriously anymore with how downgraded she was ever since her failure last season,” Maya said. “Gordon really screwed our game.”

Gordon still felt guilty.

“In his defense. He was knocked far away, and he couldn’t recover,” Kiryu said.

“Yeah, but he should’ve gone with us instead of fighting the squid all day,” Diana huffed.

“J, dude! She almost sliced my head off!” Heisuke was still shivering in fear.

“I agree. J attempting a murder against us was very out of pocket,” Kiryu admitted. “She kept telling us that she was being controlled, but I don’t see anything suspicious about her.”

“Seriously, who are we voting for?” Diana asked. “Gordon had screwed our chance because he was leading those creepy bugs instead of focusing on the race, and now we lost because he’s the only person who hadn’t crossed the finish line! And I’m scared of them…”

“Including the giant axe?” Heisuke told her.

“YES!”

“Nooo… I don’t wanna lose JeJe!” Ibuki cried.

“Are you her friend or something?” Maya asked.

“Yeah, JeJe’s an Ibuki’s gaming partner!” Ibuki claimed.

Maya still cringed at the memory of playing the coconut game with Ibuki in the morning.

“Gordon did help us by distracting the squid, and J? Yeah, murder-go-round,” Heisuke murmured.

“And Ibuki doesn’t want to vote for Gordon either! He has that badass suit!” Ibuki cried.

Gordon dusted his HEV suit.

“Well, which is why we gotta throw him off!” Heisuke spoke up.

The scientist stared at the totally-not-an-assassin in confusion.

“I thought you were going for J?” Maya pointed out.

“Oh, right. My bad,” Heisuke sat back in his seat.

The Jellyfish climbed all the way to the top of the hill and sat on their stumps. Mama wasn’t present for some reason, so Majima was holding a tray of six marshmallows instead.

“I can’t believe this area feels dry without Mama’s rant,” Majima pinched his nose. “Oh, well. She’s off duty for tonight, so I’m handling y’all the marshmallows! Six are up for grabs, and the loser jumps off a cliff!”

“First… J! Ya really went balls out on attempted murder against your teammate. Oh, not just that. You even tried to endanger Kiryu- chan ’s life!”

“I kept telling you that I was being controlled!” J shot back.

“And ya got no source for it,” Majima hummed.

The drone could only glare at him while crossing her arms.

“Freeman!”

He tensed up.

“You were trying to play a hero by using your bug army to anguish the giant squid, and guess what? YOU FAILED SO BAD IT SLAPPED YOU INTO THE AFTERLIFE, KYAHAHAHAHAHA! And you were the only person who hasn’t crossed the finish line, so that’s your problem.”

He huffed and crossed his arms.

“And Ibuki! Yeah, you!”

Silence.

“I just wanna say that ya got some sick beatboxes during Gordon’s battle with the squid, that’s it.”

Ibuki blinked for a second before grinning. “Thanks for the compliment, O’ Captain!”

“Okay. Simple stuff. Marshmallow? You’re staying. No marshmallow? GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE! The first marshmallow goes to Kiryu- chan !”

Kiryu caught his.

“Ibuki.”

“Maya.”

“Diana.”

“Heisuke!”

He sighed in relief as he caught his prize. It was down between J and Gordon.

“One of you veterans ain’t gonna survive tonight. That being said. The final marshmallow goes to…”

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

“Gordon… you’re safe! You’re receiving your final marshmallow.”

“What… WHAT?!” J gasped in shock.

Silence.

“Ugh. Why am I being surprised? Nobody believed me when I told them that I was being controlled,” J sighed. “But you guys gotta know. You can’t keep Freeman running around with his suit. It does wonder.”

He could only shrug. He was aware of it ever since he was voted out for it back in Season 1.

“Yup, your funny days are over, J! Time to head to the plank!” Majima ordered.

The drone sighed as she followed him.

She’s now standing on the plank, ready to jump off.

“Wasn’t the first time I’ve been controlled as a puppet by someone,” J sighed. “First, we got that creepy maid drone, and now… who was behind this?”

“Hell if I know, man,” Majima shrugged. “Even if we got the footage of the mastermind. We ain’t showing ‘em to ya. Woulda ruin the tension, hah.”

“Whatever. I’m going to leave this hellhole,” J hissed.

“Oh, yeah. One more thing,” Majima said as he found something in his pocket. “I’m kinda curious about this button in my pocket for the whole time.”

He took out a button and pressed it.

“What?”

J’s programming was readjusted, and her entire arsenal is now unlocked. She was stunned in silence as she brought out her rocket launcher, submachine gun, flags, bubble wand, wings, nanite acid tail, and more.

“Wha—”

“Wait… this button does that ?” Majima was dumbfounded.

“What—WHAT?! YOU CAUSED THIS THE ENTIRE TIME?!” J shouted.

His memory finally clicked.

“OHHHHH, yeah! Don’t even blame me, kiddo. I was told by your administrative staff about this thingamabob-stuff, which prevents you from using your wings or anything.” Majima claimed. “And I think I remembered them telling me to use it in case you’ve gone berserk like the last season…”

“I haven’t gone berserk for this aside from being controlled—uh… what… DOES THAT MEAN I WAS NERFED LIKE THIS BECAUSE OF YOU AND NOT MY DEMOTION?!”

“Damn… did I really do that?” Majima told himself. “Shit. No wonder you’ve been losing too much control of this game, or the author probably found an excuse to torment you.”

“Stop bullshitting me!”

“Okay, I didn’t frickin’ know it was pressed, okay? I kept it in my pocket at all times! Hell, I forgot it was in here in the first place till now,” Majima shrugged.

“The whole time ?! Do you not change your clothes?” J groaned.

“Dude, literally all of us wear the same clothes. Even Chris Mc-Fucking-Lean never changed his clothes!” Majima claimed. “You count too!”’

The drone was clearly fed up with everything at this point. She could only sigh in frustration.

“Nah, fuck this. I’m outta here.”

J flew instead of jumping off a plank.

“Pfft, kid these days!”

He remembered he still had those buttons.

“Wait, why the hell is this thing in my hand? Lemme check out what it does again,” Majima thought.

And he pressed them, causing J to lose her wings and fall into the water. He was completely unaware, and then he tossed the button away.

“Meh. Not even sure why it was here. I thought it was something for blowing up the island. Now our former villain from the last season has been voted out. We’re six campers down the drain, and left with 12 campers! Something exciting will happen in the next episode, and you’ll see it! Who’s going home next time? Find out on the next episode of Total. Drama! CAMPERS IN HAWAII!”

Maya is back in the infirmary, she’s clutching her forehead from the debris blow and is visibly shaken in her seat.

“ Please, don’t be Zuko… Please, don’t be Zuko… ” Maya begged.

Another medic, Iroh, walked into the tent, making her relieved.

“Phew, that’s better…” Maya sighed.

Iroh checked up on the bandage on her forehead.

“Ah… young one. You have returned,” Iroh calmly spoke up. “I heard that my nephew’s service wasn’t pleasant. Fear not, I have something to soothe your pain.”

Iroh pours her a cup of tea and hands it to her. She sips and sighs happily.

“Thank goodness… Someone who knows what they’re doing,” Maya exclaimed. “See? No scary needles or contaminated substance… just tea and peace.”

“Oh, no, no. You’re quite mistaken, young one. The tea’s for calming your nerves.” Iroh chuckled. “But the actual treatment…”

Maya raised her eyebrow when the old medic searched the cabinets.

Iroh pulls out a familiar giant syringe that Zuko had brought up earlier.

“...requires this,” Iroh said calmly.

Maya: girly scream.

[END]

CONFESSIONAL VOTES

Diana: “Majority wins.” (J)

J: “Why do I even bother?” (GORDON)

Kiryu: “Can’t keep her around anymore.” (J)

Maya: “Well, yeah, I have nothing to say here.” (J)

Gordon: He wrote the drone’s name. (J)

Heisuke: “You’re not escaping this vote. This thing has more power than your entire machine!” (J)

Ibuki: “They’re right… Sorry, JeJe! But I don’t think JeJe will know that I had voted for her, ehehehehe…” (J)

ELIMINATION ORDER

18th - Tom - The Salty Squids (3-3; lost tiebreaker)

17th - Bugs Bunny - The Brawling Barracudas (3-2-1)

16th - Mama - The Brawling Barracudas (5-0)

15th - Ryder - The Jellyfish Jokers (5-1)

14th - Meme Bashame - The Salty Squids (3-2-2)

13th - Serial Designation J - The Jellyfish Jokers (6-1)

REMAINING CAMPERS

The Salty Squids: Malina - Trevor Belmont - Yzma - Thanos - Spy - Pucca

The Jellyfish Jokers: Heisuke Mashimo - Diana Venicia - Gordon Freeman - Kazuma Kiryu - Maya Fey - Ibuki Mioda

Chapter Text

“Last time on Total Drama: Campers in Hawaii! Thirteen campers were sent to race across the dangerous bridge filled with booby traps! A lot of funny moments happened, such as Thanos stepping on LEGO bricks, then Trevor got his karma by stepping on nails. Pucca was the first camper to annihilate throughout the course and finished in first place. The rest of them were falling behind, getting trapped in one elephant-sized building. Thanos and J were sent back to the starting point because of Heisuke. Then, finally, for the biggest moment of the game! The giant squid has arrived! Well, it was fun while it lasted because the squid broke the border so that everyone could flee. However, Spy and Yzma decided to spice things up by hijacking J’s program and goofing around with her body, and she was subsequently ejected from the game. We’re 1 of 3 through the game, leaving 12 campers! Who’s leaving next? Find out on this episode of Total. Drama. CAMPERS IN HAWAII!”

[INTRO]

Kiryu was invited into the arcade building. He glanced inside and was immediately greeted by two of his teammates.

“He’s here, Heisuke!” Diana said.

“Oh, hey, Kiryu-san!” Heisuke greeted him. “You made it early! I sincerely hope you didn’t go into too much trouble before arriving here.”

“Our cabin was close to this arcade building,” Kiryu murmured. “What am I here for?”

“Well, you see…” Heisuke tries to come up with his word.

“Erm, we need a third member for our alliance, and I thought of you before he agreed to it,” Diana told him.

“Man, you’re already getting to the point,” Heisuke sighed. “So, what do you think?”

“Well… I haven’t had a close ally or something so far,” Kiryu admitted.

“Eh… you don’t have to join, really! We were just offering you an invite!” Diana said.

“Are you sure he’s not gonna back away and tell everyone about our alliance?” Heisuke whispered.

“He won’t do that, I promise you!” Diana said.

“Hmm, I guess I will join,” Kiryu nodded.

“Haha, great! We’ve picked our third member! Nothing’s gonna stop us…! I hope,” Heisuke cheered.

“We’re here, you know?” Two voices spoke at the same time.

The trio looked toward the source. Malina and Trevor were seen playing in the same arcade, and both of them were clearly tired.

“Again?! When did you come here? We didn’t hear anything!” Diana gasped.

“We fell asleep,” Malina answered. “Played through the entire night again, with Trevor this time.”

“Mmm… we were stuck on this stage for a while,” Trevor yawned.

“Oh… that explains why,” Kiryu replied.

“Wait. Why is he here?” Heisuke eyed the vampire hunter.

“What? You said you can invite anyone who didn’t win the reward inside, right?” Malina sneered.

“Oh… right! That’s true, that’s on me,” Heisuke said.

(CONFESSIONAL) HEISUKE:

“Man, why are we not being so discreet when it comes to alliance stuff? Oh, wait, that was on me for recruiting two people here.”

The trio left, leaving the gaming duos.

“So… are we telling everyone to expose their ‘secret’ alliance?” Trevor asked.

“Eh… they’re not in our team. I wouldn’t care unless we reached merge,” Malina shrugged as she was fidgeting with the control. “Now, where were we?”

Spy and Yzma were in the lab again. He was watching his partner cooking up anything.

“Alright, just one more drop,” Yzma said calmly.

She poured a drop into the flask, creating a smoke made of skulls before it faded.

“What’s today’s menu?” Spy asked.

“A potion that paralyzes the victim for a limited amount of time,” Yzma answered. “Yes, it’s something that didn’t go like Maya’s for once.”

“Against who?” Spy tilted his head.

“Well… I’m thinking of finding a way to get rid of that little raccoon,” Yzma said. “Have you seen her ridiculous speed?”

“Oh, the Pucca. I see. Well, don’t keep me waiting,” Spy said. “As far as I’m concerned, the little bean is going to be a huge threat for all of us. I heard from the interns that they were knocked out cold by her slap.”

“You are standing over there while I’m working my butt off on these potions,” Yzma scoffed. “Why can’t you do something?”

“Madame, you do know that I specialize in uncovering secrets. Not brewing ‘special juices,’” Spy reminded her. “What else can I do here without breaking your stuff?”

“Whatever, just keep your eyes on the monitor and tell me if you found an intruder,” Yzma pointed at the monitor.

“Alright.”

OUTSIDE THE LAIR

Pucca was playing with an empty jug. Maya walks in.

“Hey, Pucca! Have you seen Kiryu around?”

Pucca tilted her head before looking around. She hasn’t seen him. Then she looked at her oddly.

“Oh, my injury?” Maya said. “I guess that giant syringe actually did a wonder. What were you doing with that jug?”

She pointed at Steve, who clearly doesn’t need it anymore.

“Oh, makes sense, and try not to injure yourself with that thing!” Maya warned.

She nodded and then stepped on a coconut. She does a slight kick against it, and it flies toward something.

BAM!

Pucca tilted her head at the loud metal clang.

“Uh… what was that sound?” Maya asked. “Did you do that?”

Pucca remembered the secret hatch that she had accidentally found in two episodes ago.

“Ooooh, what’s this? A secret chamber?” Maya gasped.

The little girl nodded with a smile.

“You’re telling me that you’ve found this chamber in secret without telling anyone?!” Maya pouted.

Pucca was silent.

“Hey, do you think there’s a hidden immunity idol inside? A place like this would definitely have them!” Maya suggested. “Wait a minute. We’re from a different team…”

“Uhh… We can keep this a secret, right? What if we team up when the merge hits?” Maya suggested again.

Pucca gave her a thumbs-up, promising with Maya’s offer.

“Nice! Now let’s get the hidden immunity idol—”

Creak.

“I can’t lift the hatch open…”

It was Pucca’s turn to finish the deal. She lifted the hatch open with ease.

“Your strength isn’t the weirdest thing I’ve ever witnessed!” Maya claimed.

The two of them looked at the staircase and met with a dark atmosphere, gulping in fear. Pucca tugged Maya’s sleeve.

“Coming in!” Maya said as she entered the chamber first.

Yzma was still working on the potion to fight Pucca. Spy was dying of boredom.

“Do I have to lay my eyes on the monitor?” Spy complained.

“I can’t just let you stand here and do nothing but watch my brewing hilariously fail!” Yzma hissed. “Still. Let me know if something happened outside the gate!”

“Are you confident the new recipe you made will be effective against a child?” Spy asked.

“Of course! And I wouldn’t want to slip up again like how I did to Maya in the dodgeball challenge,” Yzma sneered.

“Oh… speaking of her,” Spy said. “One of your failed experiments has breached the hatch.”

“Maya? What the heck do you mean?” Yzma gasped.

“She’s right there. Standing in front of the levers,” Spy claimed.

“WHAT?!”

She walked up to the monitor and saw the security footage, revealing Maya standing in front of the levers.

“What the—how the heck did she find out?” Yzma said.

“I dunno. Take a guess, Your Highness,” Spy shrugged as he lit his cigs.

“Who knows?! Maybe she found it by accident!” Yzma shot back. “That might be the best possibility.”

“Uh-huh…”

“What do you mean, ‘Uh-huh?!’ This is serious!” Yzma shouted. “One pull and our entire alliance is doomed!”

“Relax, madame. It’s a 50/50 chance. I’m sure she might pull the wrong lever, like how your henchmen did,” Spy shrugged.

“Blergh, don’t remind me of that guy,” Yzma cringed. “Sure, he’s loyal to me, but he always gets the wrong lever! Anyway, the lever is the only way to enter the lab.”

“Revolting door,” Spy reminded her.

“Crap…” Yzma facepalmed with a sigh. “I hope she doesn’t realize that.”

“I hope so,” Spy chuckled.

Maya was inspecting the levers closely before she decided to… leave instead of pulling them.

“She’s not doing anything?” Spy said.

“Probably knew how dangerous the lever was,” Yzma claimed. “And I can’t blame her for it.”

Outside the hatch. Maya left and shut the hatch before hiding it from plain sight again with Pucca’s help. Pucca was asking if she had found something interesting.

“No. It was just levers,” Maya sighed. “I’m not sure which one to pull. They seem dangerous.”

She was later called by Kiryu in the background and followed him.

“Oh, sorry, Pucca! Gotta go! Promise to keep this hatch a secret between us!” Maya requested.

Pucca gave her a grin with a thumbs-up.

Back inside the underground lair.

“Is she coming back?” Spy asked.

“Nope. Not anymore,” Yzma sighed.

“Well, that was something. I was expecting someone like Kiryu or Freeman to find out,” Spy crossed his arms. “I wasn’t expecting a girl like her to show up.”

“Mmm…” Yzma hummed in response.

“So… is Pucca’s downfall still on the menu?” Spy asked.

“Change of plan! We’re bringing down the burger addict!” Yzma proclaimed.

“For exposing our secret lab?” Spy said.

“Not really. She didn’t enter this lair yet,” Yzma hummed. “We can’t let her expose this lair to everyone! Now lemme just cook those potions I can think of that actually stop her.”

“Uh… hmm, what if—”

“Before you tell me that she’s just shrugging it off, thinking it was a part of Majima’s scheme. WRONG! She could still lead her friends to the lair!” Yzma scoffed.

“I mean the other way,” Spy tilted his head.

“No. NO! I am sure the effect won’t go wrong this time!” Yzma proclaimed.

“Alright, what is it, then?” Spy sighed.

“Let’s just say… I have the most brilliant ideas known to mankind,” She grinned deviously.

“Alright, have fun with your recipe. I’m heading out,” Spy announced.

(CONFESSIONAL) SPY:

“I’m gonna predict that it’s gonna be one of those failed sabotage attempts again.”

A few hours later.

Near the cafeteria. Ibuki was sitting alone in thought. Gordon walks in.

“Oh, heya, Freeman!” Ibuki waved.

He raised his eyebrow, asking if she was faring well.

“Well… um… Ibuki recently made her gaming partner, JeJe, and guess what? She’s outta here, and now Ibuki’s alone,” Ibuki huffed. “Well, I even voted for her for her wrongdoings so that Ibuki couldn’t blame anybody!”

Gordon gave her a shoulder pat.

“Aw, thanks!”

“WHO LET THE GOOSE RUN AROUND?!” A voice, unmistakably Paul, was booming from the cafeteria.

The cafeteria door burst open, gaining everyone’s attention. Law, who was outside, broke the silence first.

“Aw, what now?” Law groaned.

“Ay, ay, what was that, huh?!” Thanos quipped.

A goose, which wasn’t seen before, had escaped the cafeteria, honking aggressively, while Steve was on his way to catch it with Trevor’s whip.

“Hey! He’s got Trevor’s whip!” Ibuki called him out.

“STEVE! MY WHIP!” Trevor yelled.

Steve was too busy capturing the running goose.

“Honk! Honk!” The goose screamed.

“Law! Go get that goose!” Paul ordered.

“OKAY!”

Law jumped toward the goose and missed it.

“Honk!”

“This is what you call ‘teamwork?’ Unbelievable,” Spy sighed.

“Steve, I’m taking that—”

CRACK!

Steve was going to use the whip against the goose, but it missed and nearly hit Trevor instead.

“HEY! Careful with that leash, that shit frickin’ hurts!” Trevor groaned.

“I got it! I got it!” Paul yelled.

The goose went past between his legs, and he fell when he tried to catch it below him.

“Oof…”

“Honk! Honk!”

The goose went toward Thanos.

“Ay, what the heck are you doing—”

The goose pecked his legs.

“OW! What the fuck, you chicken wing boy?!” Thanos was angered.

And now the goose is harassing the mercenary.

“BLEGH! Get this thing off my feet!” Spy whined.

Then it went to attack the other campers. Meanwhile, Trevor has a light bulb over his head.

“Hold on, I got something useful,” Trevor went toward the lodge.

More chaos ensued as the campers and interns continued to struggle to capture the running goose.

Trevor returned to the spot with a gravity gun that his team won from the last challenge.

“I have never used this, but I’ll give it a try,” Trevor stated.

He used the gravity gun on the goose and tossed it into a crate.

“Hey! Animal cruelty is not a-OK!” Ibuki shouted.

Mama shut the crate before the bird could escape. The box remained shaking from the goose trying to break out.

“Alright, I’ll be taking this crate from now on!” Mama said.

“Waittttt… where did that goose come from?” Paul asked the cook.

“Er, someone apparently brought a goose here, but I’m not sure who it was,” Mama claimed. “And this thing already caused a lot of trouble in my kitchen earlier.”

“Well, damn… now that it was captured. You can at least kill it and feed us with it,” Trevor suggested.

“Hmmm… That sounds like a decent idea! Thanks, Trevor!” Mama rushed toward the kitchen with the goose still stuck in a crate.

Steve was about to leave after the goose crisis was solved, until his whip was pulled out of his grip by Trevor’s gravity gun.

“I’ll be taking that back, thank you,” Trevor huffed as he retrieved his stolen whip.

The miner hung his head low and left in sadness.

“Heh, who knew I would love using this gun?” Trevor chuckled as he slung the gravity gun on his shoulder. “Anyway, I’ll be leaving now.”

Most of them were happy that the goose crisis had been solved, except for Gordon, who showed a very different reaction toward Trevor.

“Why the long face, Freeman?” Ibuki asked.

Her voice made him stop whatever he was doing now. He looked at her, reassuring her that nothing was happening.

“Okie dokie! Hey, what if Ibuki wanted to show—”

And to the surprise of nobody: the loudspeaker rang.

“CAMPERS! Head to the amphitheater for your next challenge ASAP!” Majima announced.

“Aw, man, come on, Freeman! Let’s go! I hope we can rock the challenge again!” Ibuki said.

Freeman shrugged as he joined her.

Everyone gathered in the amphitheater. It was built right next to the collapsed Barracudas’ cabin from that camping challenge.

“Of all locations. It had to be here,” Spy mumbled.

“Yeah, yeah, did ya enjoy that memory or what?” Majima asked, which was met by the former Barracudas members shaking their heads.

“Eh, figures. It’s just that we didn’t find a good spot to build the stage, so we built it here,” Majima shrugged. “Yeah, this will play a part in your next challenge.”

“OOOH! Is it a musical talent show?!” Ibuki gasped.

“Nah.”

“WHAT?!” Ibuki yelled.

“Take a wild guess, fellas! Look at the machine over there!”

He pointed at a huge device sitting in the theatre.

“Virtual reality?” Malina assumed.

“Heck yeah, one point for you, lady!” Majima cackled. “You guys will be playing in a virtual simulation, except it’s not a deathrun!”

“Deathrun?” Spy asked.

“Eh, none of you knew what happened in the last virtual challenge that took place in Wawanakwa,” Majima shrugged. “This is entirely different. You guys will be simulating a post-apocalypse game! Something like Ellis had faced in his past.”

“Zombies?” Trevor guessed.

“You’re goddamn right, Treffy!”

He could only growl at the nickname.

“What do you mean by Ellis going through the zombie apocalypse?” Diana asked.

“Ooh, you sweet child. You’re going to sit down, and I’ll tell you everything,” Ellis whispered to the cosmetologist.

“Actually, on a second thought… I’d rather not hear it,” Diana giggled nervously.

(CONFESSIONAL) KIRYU:

“Not just Ellis… but Majima and I have gone through the zombie apocalypse as well.”

Knock, knock, knock.

“Those ain’t canon, Kiryu-chan!” Majima reminded him outside the booth.

“Don’t worry, girl. He’s safe and sound, and I’m sure he’s just gonna infect everyone nearby since he was still a Carrier,” Majima scratched his head. “But I haven’t heard such casualties sooooo… the world’s good!”

“Maybe it was the fact that we’re all from a different dimension?” Yzma pointed out.

“Yeah, sorta like that,” Majima shrugged. “Yes, we’ll be playing the simulation game of Left 4 Dead!”

Most of them were not familiar with the name of the game. However, Malina and Trevor eyed each other, clearly familiar with the game. She does a throat slit motion at him over something in the past.

“What’s up with you, Malina?” Maya asked.

“Personal reason,” Malina hissed.

“Yeah,” Trevor backed her up.

(CONFESSIONAL) TREVOR:

“She nearly ripped my jugular when she broke into my world because I accidentally threw away the Gnome before we were rescued by the helicopter. Playing with her is scary sometimes.”

“How does this work? Do we maneuver through the entire zombie apocalypse?” Yzma asked.

“Yeah! Ya can scavenge cool weapons and stuff. And you’re not just facing a regular running zombie, you’ll be facing special infecteds too!” Majima announced.

“Special zombies? Like how special?” Heisuke asked.

“You know! Those mutated kinds have a slight advantage in attacking the survivors!” Majima said. “Not all of you will be playing as Survivors.”

“Wait… does that mean…” Trevor said.

“Yep! The Squids will be playing as the Infected, and the Jellyfish will be playing as the Survivors,” Majima ordered. “I hope ya know how to use a gun.”

Only Gordon and Kiryu knew how to use it. Well, Heisuke too, but he’d rather keep it a secret.

(CONFESSIONAL) MALINA:

“What a damn luck. If we were a survivor. Teaching them the tips would be a LOT of pain. If I were in the mood to teach them anyway.”

(CONFESSIONAL) YZMA:

“I can’t imagine how terrifying I would look when I appeared as a zombie. And… ugh… Maya gets to live for another day since we’ll be playing in the simulation.”

“Survivors! Don’t worry about not knowing how to keep your asses in a post-apocalyptic simulation. I left some instructions in the starting room… I think,” Majima claimed.

“You think?” Diana raised her eyebrow.

“Come on. I could’ve sworn I put them inside,” Majima shrugged. “You’re just gonna have to find them before leaving the room.”

“Okay, there has to be a goal, right?” Ibuki asked.

“Yeah. For the Survivors’ victory: at least have one of the members reach the saferoom at the end of the map and lock the door without any infected inside,” Majima barked. “And for the Infected team. You must overwhelm the survivors before any of them reach the end.”

“Do we get a penalty or something?” Trevor asked.

“What penalty? Just go crazy with your virtual gameplay!” Majima huffed. “You’ll be playing on one map located in an amusement park. No full campaign because that would take forever, and my ass hates counting the scores. ANY MORE QUESTIONS?!”

His unnecessarily harsh tone made everyone quiet, so they didn’t bother asking him a question.

“Good! Now take your seat and put on that weird thingy on your head, then we can start teleporting you through the game!” Majima ordered.

“This better not hurt,” Maya whispered.

All of them wore their device, zapping everyone in their seat before teleporting them into the virtual game.

Insert Dark Carnival campaign loading screen.

The survivors spawned with their pistols in the colorful hallway painted with hearts.

“What the hell?” Kiryu said.

“Whoa, where are we?” Ibuki gasped. “A convention hall?”

Gordon does a gesture of a carnival tent, suggesting it’s a carnival-themed map.

“Oooh, yeah… Do you think we can look for a burger in any food court?” Maya claimed.

“No. We’re in the zombie apocalypse. Those things won’t open,” Kiryu sighed.

BAM!

“WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, NOT MY FEET!” Heisuke yelped in fear.

It was Ibuki who pulled the trigger. “Sorry, guysies. Ibuki never knew how to use a gun!”

“Hey, look! Guns!” Maya told everyone. “And stuff!”

On a table, there were four first aid kits, two submachine guns, a pump shotgun, a crowbar, a frying pan, and two pistols.

“I’ll take… uh… this crowbar,” Diana said.

“No! I wanted that shotgun!” Heisuke yelled at Gordon, who took it.

“Ibuki found another pistol! Hoo-boy, Ibuki’s gonna WICK those games!” Ibuki grinned.

“Submachine gun for me,” Kiryu took his weapon.

Outside the saferoom. The infected were bored with waiting for the survivors to leave before they could move.

“Wait a second. Is there friendly fire?” Thanos asked.

He clawed Trevor, losing one health point.

“That was my fucking ass you smacked!” Trevor shouted.

“Yup, there is friendly fire for zombies, too. What a shocker,” Yzma sighed.

“Indeed,” Spy fits in.

(CONFESSIONAL) SPY:

“For my entire career of backstabbing and stealing the intelligence, there was never a friendly fire incident. This is new to me.”

BAM!

“OW, not my beautiful face!” Thanos groaned.

“Payback for punching me,” Trevor hissed.

“Stop wasting our claws on each other. We have the survivors to kill!” Yzma barked.

“They hadn’t left their saferoom yet,” Malina hissed.

“That’s true. Anyway, where the hell are we?” Trevor asked his team. “Is this a tunnel drain system, but fancier?”

“No… It’s a Tunnel of Love,” Spy answered.

“Tunnel of love? What’s that? Do you make love in the tunnel and that’s it?” Trevor questioned.

“Sorta? Just kiss, nothing too explicit,” Malina shrugged.

“I thought you’d tell more about what you can do more than sitting on a swan boat,” Thanos smirked.

“No. They’re in public, dumbass.”

“Oh. That’s… that sounds boring, really,” Trevor admitted.

“Yeah, I figured you would say that, and I agree,” Malina shrugged. “This stuff doesn’t look romantic. I would laugh if someone actually drowned in the shallow water.”

“Can’t believe it, but… I agree,” Yzma grumbled.

“Wait a second… are we talking as ghosts?” Spy pointed out.

In fact, no one had spawned, and all of them are literally ghosts with a blue outline. Pucca was waving to see if anyone noticed her ghost form.

“Yooo, that’s the greatest mystery! If we were all ghosts, how did we beat the shit out of each other earlier?” Thanos mentioned the friendly fire incident. “We gotta solve that crazy shit first, and I might write a new song about the—”

“Stop. Does any of you know how to play as the Infected?” Malina asked everyone.

Everyone except for Trevor shook their heads.

“Since we still had our time before the humans leave, I will just get to explaining—”

Thanos began mumbling about the rap lyrics related to the Tunnel of Love.

“WOULD YOU KINDLY—” Malina was cut off.

Saferoom_door_opening.sfx

“OH, THEY’RE OUT OF THEIR CAGES! SPREAD OUT!” Thanos ordered.

“I still haven’t… ugh, whatever,” Malina didn’t bother explaining.

Everyone left their spot and tried to find their location to spawn close to the survivors.

The survivors have left the saferoom and walked up the bridge. Gordon has a pump shotgun, Kiryu and Heisuke have a submachine gun, Diana has a crowbar, Maya has a frying pan, and Ibuki uses a dual pistol. Only Ibuki and Maya don’t have their first aid kit.

“Turn on the lights and keep watch,” Kiryu commanded his team.

Once they exited the reception hall, they found themselves in a tunnel filled with zombies.

“Let’s go kill them!” Heisuke told them.

Suddenly, everyone had gone ballistic. Every zombie in the area had been wiped out, save for Diana and Maya losing a bit of their health from those punches.

“Why won’t they bite us? I thought that was how zombie works,” Diana whispered.

“Would probably take out all the fun of this game if they just bite you,” Heisuke stated.

Yzma has spawned as Boomer and was approaching Maya.

“Ugh… what the heck am I?” Yzma cringed at her zombified body.

“Look! It’s a big boned zombie!” Ibuki called them out.

“I got it!” Diana headed toward the Boomer.

One swing with her crowbar, the Boomer had exploded, and she was covered by her biles.

Diana killed Yzma

“BLEGH! What is this?!”

Suddenly, a horde of zombies was flooding the tunnel, except they were heading toward the cosmetologist.

“Aaaah! Help!” Diana screamed, swinging her crowbar left and right.

“I got you!” Heisuke said.

Heisuke and Gordon had cleared out the horde surrounding her while damaging her with their bullets.

“OW, OW, STOP SHOOTING ME!” Diana yelled.

The horde has been cleared out. They kept advancing through the tunnel. Gordon recommended that everyone search for supplies around the area.

“Oh, oh! Ibuki found something!”

She left the room and showed them a pipe bomb.

Malina, Spy, and Trevor spawned as Smoker, Jockey, and Spitter above the broken ceiling.

“Uh… hear that coughing?” Diana asked.

“Maybe somebody was nearby and they’re sick,” Heisuke assumed.

“What are we waiting for? Let’s go look for the other survivor,” Kiryu told them.

“They… did not know about Smoker’s cue?” Trevor was flabbergasted.

“Well, yeah… They’ve never played this game,” Malina responded.

“Also, you were dressed like a hooker with an unhinged jaw,” Spy muttered.

“That’s what Spitter looks like!” Trevor retorted. “Why the hell am I wearing a bra?”

“And you looked tiny,” Malina said to Spy.

“Whatever, what the hell am I supposed to do with this body of tiny baby?” Spy groaned.

“Ride the survivor to wherever you want,” Malina suggested.

“I think someone was laughing nearby,” Diana said. “Who was it? It sounds creepy.”

“And some kind of… Pig’s honk?” Heisuke added. “Like… how do you say it? Bark… Bark… Bark?”

“That’s a dog, silly,” Maya retorted. “The pig goes Oink.”

“I don’t think a pig would make that sound,” Said Kiryu as he finished out a little group of zombies with Gordon.

Gordon thought the sound cues were suspicious and shouldn’t look for the lost survivor.

“Come on, where’s our moral, dude?” Heisuke huffed.

Meanwhile, three of the infected were far behind.

“What’s the plan, miss?” Trevor asked.

“Well, I’m thinking of dragging the survivors here, then you can use your acid on them for extra damage as usual,” Malina grunted.

“Okay,” Trevor replied.

“What about me?” Spy asked.

“Same thing,” Malina shrugged.

“Whatever,” Spy scoffed.

“Seriously, where’s the coughing survivor?” Diana huffed.

“Oh, I know! They were playing a prank on us!” Maya complained. “We should just ignore them at this point!”

Although Gordon wasn’t expecting them to mistake the prank for the trap, he was glad they stopped searching for the “survivors.” They were about to move until Ibuki shouted out of boredom.

“What?” Heisuke asked.

“Yo, Ibuki found something way cooler! Let’s play catch!” Ibuki cried.

“Okay!” Heisuke agreed for some reason.

Ibuki brings out a propane tank to play with.

Malina showed up from behind, ready to pull Heisuke because those two were far behind their group.

“Get Ibuki, alright?” Malina told Spy.

“Okay.”

Ibuki left and threw… a propane tank, and the Smoker’s tongue caught the tank instead of Heisuke.

“Abort!” Spy screamed.

The propane tank hit Malina’s head, causing it to explode in contact.

BOOM!

Ibuki killed Malina

The tunnel was only filled with green smoke. Trevor and Spy saw the killfeed and sighed.

(CONFESSIONAL) MALINA:

“Who plays catch with a propane tank?! And I don’t recall the Smoker having an ability to pull anything other than survivors. I think this simulation has adjusted a few of the rules!”

(CONFESSIONAL) HEISUKE:

“That thing is weighty. How is she able to hold that?”

Yzma and Thanos have spawned as the Spitter and Charger.

“Yoooo, one gigantic arm?” Thanos inspected his body.

Trevor arrived. “Ugh, what the hell happened? Was Malina being careless again?”

“Ugh, first, I looked fat, and now I’m dressed like a… what even was this accessory called?” Yzma complained.

“BRO! FATPHOBIA ALERT! CANCEL HER, MY SQUAD!” Thanos was punched by Trevor in an attempt to silence him. “HEY! No assaulting your buddy!”

Later. Kiryu had found the arrow.

“The arrow is leading into the maintenance room,” Kiryu noticed the arrow.

“Okay, we have our lead at least,” Diana shrugged.

“Where’s Ibuki and Heisuke?” Maya asked.

“Hey, guys! We’ve found pills!” Heisuke yelled.

His yell was too loud, and it alerted the nearby common infected, who began attacking them. They cleared them in ease anyway.

“Haha, my bad, guys. I forgot they’re attracted to loud noise,” Heisuke chuckled awkwardly.

(CONFESSIONAL) MAYA:

“Gunshots are LOUD compared to Heisuke’s voice. How did that lure the zombies?”

“Yup, erm, Ibuki can’t share since we already got it!” Ibuki chimed in.

Diana was first to enter the maintenance room.

Suddenly, Jockey.

“AAAH! GET THIS THING OFF ME!” Diana screamed as the Jockey started covering her head.

Pucca has spawned as Hunter inside the storage room behind the group. Gordon was first to make a move toward the Jockey.

“Gah, where is this taking me? Heisuke?! Was that you?!” Diana screamed.

Gordon picked up a guitar he found on the floor.

“Oh-oh!” Spy said as he hopped off his target.

BANG!

He swung his guitar and hit Diana in the head, causing her to collapse on the floor.

“Ough…”

Gordon bit his hands with his teeth out of guilt. Jockey is now riding him.

“Crap, we gotta do something,” Kiryu said.

“Coming!” Maya joined.

Ibuki wanted to catch up, but Pucca already lunged toward Heisuke and pounced on him.

“AAAH! NOT MY VIRTUAL ORGANS!” Heisuke screamed for help.

“Ruh-roh! Ibuki to the rescue!” Ibuki fell behind to save the man.

Trevor (Spitter) appeared and spat toward the pinned Heisuke to give him extra damage.

“YEOOOOOWCH!”

“Ibuki is coming right away!”

None of her shots collided with the Hunter.

Pucca incapacitated Heisuke

“Dammit, hold on!”

Ibuki shoved the hunter off. “Yay, job’s done!”

Pucca lunged toward the musician and began pouncing on her.

“AAAH—”

Heisuke tried to kill the hunter while incapacitated, but none of his shots hit her. The aiming kinda sucks when you’re incapacitated.

Kiryu killed Spy

“Got it.”

Pucca incapacitated Ibuki

“Hey! Ibuki and Heisuke needed our help!” Maya screamed.

All of them fell back to save the duo.

Gordon killed Pucca

Kiryu killed Trevor

Maya and Diana helped them to get up.

“Geez, we just left you for a second, and you’re in this state. Come on, get up!” Maya pouted.

“Not Ibuki fault! 100%!” Ibuki defended herself.

Heisuke popped the pills to heal himself temporarily. Diana was using her first aid kit to heal Ibuki, losing one kit.

“Let’s try to save some healing items. We need to cooperate,” Kiryu told them.

They were walking on the catwalk to enter the small room. When they entered the room, an AK-47 was left on the ground. Maya was first to pick them up.

“Hey, do you want this?” Heisuke offered Diana a magnum.

“Uh, sure,” Diana took the gun to replace the crowbar. “I don’t know how to use them.”

“Aim for the head, then pull the trigger. Simple,” Kiryu said. “Also, I’ll be taking that crowbar—”

Gordon was first to grab the crowbar before Kiryu. Kiryu will pick up the guitar instead.

“Okay…”

“Okay, thanks for another pistol!” Heisuke grinned as he took Kiryu’s leftover.

Maya grabbed the molotov nearby.

“Let’s walk up the stairs,” Kiryu led them.

Thanos and Malina have spawned as the Smoker and Charger.

“This is a good chance to kill someone,” Malina said.

“And what would it be?” Thanos raised his eyebrow.

“You pull someone with your tongue, and you gotta wait until everyone but one person jumps down the hole. That way, they can’t retrieve their last survivor,” Malina explained her plan. “Seriously, it’s just that easy, you can’t be that fuckin’ idiot to forget it.”

“Yeah, yeah, I heard it, my lady,” Thanos grumbled some lyrics.

The survivors stood in front of the huge gap below.

“Who’s up first?” Ibuki asked.

Meanwhile, Pucca spawned as the Boomer below.

“I dunno, man. I’d rather jump if it wasn’t for the floor filled with zombies,” Heisuke cringed.

“What’s the plan, then?” Diana replied.

“Yeah, don’t worry. I have a solution,” Maya brought her molotov.

She lit them and tossed them inside the hole, igniting every zombie in the tunnel. Then a burst.

Maya killed Pucca

“Erm, accidental murder, hehe,” Maya shrugged.

“Guys, watch out for that coughing guy or something,” Diana warned.

“And the dying animal,” Heisuke added.

The fire has been cleared out. The Smoker and Charger had gotten closer as their footstep were heavier.

Gordon was first to jump into the hole, then Ibuki, Kiryu, Diana, Maya, and Heisuke were last.

“Let’s do this. It’s not a hard drop, and hopefully my leg won’t break!” Heisuke clarified.

The Smoker appeared.

“AAAH! WEED GUY!”

Heisuke fell into the hole when Thanos shot his tongue and pulled something. The Charger appeared.

“Yo, check it out! I reeled someone in!” Thanos flexed.

“Cool. Who is it?” Malina begrudgingly asked.

Thanos only showed the pill he pulled from Heisuke’s shorts. Malina punched him really hard it killed him in response.

Malina killed Thanos

The survivors were close to exiting the Tunnel of Love as they were clearing the horde of zombies. Spy was trying to puke at them as the Boomer.

“WATCH OUT! BIG BONED GUY ALERT!” Ibuki yelled.

Spy was in the middle of vomiting, and Gordon shoved him, causing the Boomer to stop and stumble back. It was far enough to be killed. Diana pulled the trigger.

Diana killed Spy

“Ew, that was… gross,” Diana stated.

“That’s what zombies are,” Maya huffed.

“That big guy with a big arm!” Heisuke called out.

Malina suddenly appeared, charging straight line in the corridor, and Kiryu was charged, and everyone else was sent flying from the charge.

“Gah! I need help!” Kiryu grunted as Malina pounded him.

All of them got up from the crash, and Gordon was first to take action. He killed the Charger with a crowbar.

Gordon offered his hand to help Kiryu.

“I still have a little health left before I’m down,” Kiryu winced in pain.

Gordon offered him a pill he had just found earlier, and Kiryu popped ‘em.

“Thanks,” Kiryu responded.

“Guys, we found the exit!” Heisuke yelled.

“Finally! I’m sick of this scent,” Maya cringed. “Fresh air coming right up!”

Meanwhile, the zombies were playing as ghosts, spectating the survivors.

“Seriously, why did it take forever to spawn?” Trevor complained. “It was like 15 seconds.”

“No clue. Maybe Majima wanted to go easy on the survivors,” Malina grumbled.

“Only because there was Kiryu,” Spy sighed.

“Yeah, tell me, bruh!” Thanos huffed. “This stupid simulation’s rigged!”

“Well, maybe the rollercoaster won’t give them an easy time,” Trevor claimed. “I hope.”

The survivors had exited the Tunnel of Love through a hole wall.

“Ibuki thinks we’re halfway through the game! We’ll just need to get past the Screaming Oaks!” Ibuki said.

Gordon nodded.

“Guys, I don’t think zombie apocalypse was so bad after all!” Heisuke grinned.

“Would you love to see your family or close friends get torn apart by those zombies in front of you?” Maya shot back.

Silence.

“I changed my mind,” Heisuke replied with a gulp. “Zombie apocalypses are a huge miss.”

“You didn’t have to scare him like that,” Kiryu said.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to…” Maya sighed.

The chopper showed up above them and flew past them.

“Was that supposed to be our ride?” Kiryu asked.

“I dunno. HEY!” Heisuke tried to get the chopper pilot’s attention.

Of course, they didn’t hear it.

Maya noticed a small building on his left.

“Let’s go in and out. Twenty seconds,” Maya said. “We might find something better!”

Maya, Ibuki, and Gordon went inside as a group. The rest of them were staying outside.

Pucca has spawned as Jockey inside the building. The survivors immediately heard the laughter.

“What was that annoying guy’s name? I forgot,” Maya asked.

Pucca exited the room and began ambushing the musician.

“THAT TINY HUMPING GUY!” Ibuki called out the Jockey. “OH NO, HE’S HUMPING ME!”

Instead of bringing her somewhere. The Jockey stole her items and ran off instead.

“HEEEEEY! IBUKI NEEDED HER PILL BACK!” Ibuki chased after the little zombie.

Gordon ran after her. Maya was left alone, then Spy, as the Hunter, spawned inside.

“Why are they just popping up from nowhere?!” Maya shrieked.

The Hunter immediately pounced and clawed the medium spirit. The survivors outside were busy handling the Jockey, and Kiryu ran inside to rescue Maya after the notification of their teammate alerted them.

Trevor incapacitated Maya

Kiryu rushed inside. “Crap. Be right there, hold on!”

Thanos recently spawned as the Spitter nearby. Kiryu bashed the Hunter with his guitar, killing him instantly.

Kiryu killed Spy

“Come on, let’s get you up,” Kiryu said.

Thanos spat toward incapacitated Maya and Kiryu, who were trying to get her on her feet.

“What the heck is on my feet—”

His legs got burnt, including Maya’s body. Kiryu left the acid to save himself, leaving Maya to suffer.

“AAAAAH! IT HURTS SO BAD!” Maya screamed.

“Shit, hang in there!”

Kiryu had literally ignored the acid surrounding them and tried to get her back up before he collapsed. Well, it went horribly.

Thanos incapacitated Kiryu

“Man, you’re a dumbass,” Thanos remarked.

Gordon shotgunned him as soon as he entered the building.

Gordon killed Thanos

The acid was no longer surrounding the body, and Maya was one inch away from dying.

Gordon saved Kiryu first because his body collided with Maya.

“Haha, I’m doomed,” Maya said.

Maya has died.

“WHAT?!” Ibuki screamed as she saw the notification.

Heisuke killed Pucca

They gathered around the dead body of Maya.

"She got so much to live for," Diana sniffed.

"It was my fault," Kiryu sighed.

"Nah, man. You didn't do crap!" Ibuki huffed. "You were trying to help!"

“It’s okay. It’s a simulation. She’s alive in our real world,” Heisuke sighed.

And they just looted Maya’s belongings. Diana is fully equipped with Maya’s stuff, minus the frying pan because she has a Desert Eagle, and Kiryu was healing himself, losing another med kit.

“Aw, man. Ibuki still couldn’t find her pill,” Ibuki sighed.

Oh. Pucca the Jockey is still alive.

The Jockey lunged toward Gordon to steal his items. She managed to snatch his crowbar and med kit.

Gordon was alerted to the disappearance of his items, minus his shotgun.

Pucca didn’t make her escape in time when Diana shot her in cold blood.

Diana killed Pucca

Gordon picked up his stolen items. The group finally headed outside the building and on their way to the coaster.

Meanwhile, Trevor and Malina, who recently spawned, were watching everything.

“That’s… not legit. Pucca just stole the thing and ran off?” Trevor asked.

“It’s like we can just break the rules of this game,” Malina said.

Freeze.

The two began pondering.

Heisuke recently took a Combat Shotgun inside the truck, including an adrenaline shot.

“Hey, you can have my SMG,” He offered his SMG to Ibuki.

“Oh, thank you!” Ibuki cheered.

Gordon picked up the hunting rifle from the truck as well.

“Through this fence,” Kiryu ordered.

They climbed over the collapsed fence to get inside the coaster field. Yzma has spawned as the Smoker on the tracks.

“Careful. Smokers around,” Kiryu warned. “Stick together and watch your backs.”

They grouped while walking under the coaster. Heisuke noticed the green smoke escaping outside the cover.

“Hmmm… wait a minute…” Heisuke stopped Diana. “Can I borrow your pistol?”

“Huh?”

She let him anyway. He aimed…

Yzma was playing as Smoker and hid behind the wall.

“Alright, just pull someone with my tongue then—”

BAM!

Heisuke killed Yzma

He shot Yzma through the wall with his Magnum.

“Whoa… how did you know she was there?” Diana gasped.

“I saw the green smoke from that wall. That’s how you know the smoker is there,” Heisuke claimed.

“Yeah, but she’s really that far… how did you one-shot her with no problem?” Diana wondered. “A gun like that wouldn’t go well for a long-range target. I know one of my friends who was great at shooting.”

Heisuke began to gulp. “Uh… Maybe I was lucky?”

“Oh, wait. Do you spend your time at the shooting range?” Diana asked.

Heisuke was careful enough not to tell her his actual occupation. “You could say that, haha! I did spend my free time at the shooting range.”

“Hey, are you two coming or not?” Maya huffed.

“COMING!” Heisuke yelled.

They stopped at a little gate and a control panel.

“Are we supposed to open the gate with this panel?” Diana asked.

“Hmmm, might be. It’s our only lead. Once the gate’s open, we’ll have to run through the horde to stop the alarm,” Kiryu instructed.

“Alarm? How did you know?” Heisuke added.

“There’s a subtitle manual below us.”

They looked below, and there was a subtitle warning that opening the gate would alert the horde.

“Oh, no wonder we magically know everything about the special infected!” Ibuki responded.

“Are we ready?” Kiryu asked.

“WAIT! Why can’t we just climb over the gate without triggering the horde?” Heisuke suggested.

He shut his mouth, thinking it was stupid. Then Gordon climbed over the little gate and was inside the coaster track. He shrugged at them.

“Actually… we can just do that. Good idea, Heisuke,” Kiryu nodded.

“YES!” Heisuke cheered.

Trevor and Malina just saw them skip the horde event by climbing over the gate without using the panel to open.

(CONFESSIONAL) MALINA:

“Man, imagine all the struggles could be avoided if we were allowed to climb over the fence and not have an invisible barrier.”

“I wish we could ride ‘em,” Heisuke sighed.

“Well, you gotta start the alarm for them to move, but we don’t want that,” Kiryu sighed.

“You’re right, Kiryu,” Heisuke frowned.

Meanwhile, Malina, as the Boomer, was at the control panel.

“This is stupid,” The demon growled.

Malina just triggered the alarm because none of the survivors are doing it.

Malina has alerted the horde!

Hundreds of zombies began to spawn and ambush them.

“OH, COME ON! WHO DID THAT?!” Heisuke groaned.

“Um… WATCH OUT!”

The coaster began to move.

“Guys, we gotta move! Don’t want to be run over by it!” Diana shrieked.

“Or we can just jump right into the seat!” Ibuki grinned.

“That’s suicide!” Diana argued.

Apparently, the coaster doesn’t have a collision for the survivors, but it did kill every zombie, including Thanos, who just spawned as the Jockey and got run over.

“Never mind, we can move on,” Heisuke yelled.

(CONFESSIONAL) MALINA:

“I CALL THAT BULL—”

The survivors were making their way to the lobby on the track. Trevor was the Spitter and spat on the path, making a roadblock for a short time.

“Acid! Don’t go!” Kiryu warned everyone.

“Behind us!” Ibuki warned.

Spy recently spawned as the Smoker began to pull Gordon off the track with his tongue.

“Gordon!” Heisuke called him out. “I’ll be there to save your ass!”

The horde had surrounded the rebel. Suddenly, Pucca spawned as the Charger and ambushed Heisuke, who tried to rescue him.