Work Text:
When Jimin clocks into work this morning, he’s hoping for a slow day. His alarm ran a little late so he wasn’t able to get his daily latte to help him wake up and he is cranky, de-caffeinated, and would very much prefer to be like a human log in bed rather than trying to sell hipster furniture to the Korean upper middle class.
Jimin likes to think that Ikea is a fairly decent place to work. It’s not exactly where Jimin wants to be as a senior majoring in dance but as a hungry college student he doesn’t really have room to complain. Besides, there are a few benefits to working at Ikea. Firstly, Gwangmyeong is only about fifteen minutes away from his apartment in Seoul. Secondly, he rarely has to actually do anything for his job aside from memorizing what’s currently in style and some random avant-garde words. Thirdly, his manager is the nicest person in the world, a kind older woman who is always willing to work around his school and extracurricular schedule. All in all, it’s a pretty decent gig that pays well and is relatively stress free.
Except for today.
It’s hard to keep a smile on his face when this ahjumma has asked him the same question six times but Jimin persists, cheeks stretching painfully, as he calmly explains that ‘no ma’am the sale doesn’t apply to individual pieces’ and ‘yes you have to buy the entire set for the discount.’ He’s with the same frustrating customer for nearly ten minutes before a loud crashing noise from behind him has him running, hasty apologies and excuses stumbling from his mouth, only to see a whole outdoor set in disarray. It takes him another ten minutes to put everything back in an orderly fashion, thanking his stars that none of the expensive lounging chairs are damaging. It takes yet another ten minutes for that same ahjumma to stomp over to him and give him a lecture on customer service and ‘basic human respect.’
He’s already got a headache by ten and he’s still got four hours left of his shift to go. Things turn out worse when the day continues with him constantly finding rooms completely messed up. Three living rooms in a row have had all the cushions of their sofas pulled out and scattered haphazardly. Who even does that? How is nobody finding these kids? Usually he doesn’t care if people play around because that’s commonplace in Ikea but someone clogged the bathroom and he had to clean it up so he honestly has no patience for anything anymore.
Jimin is basically done with today.
He’s seriously considering going over to the bedroom section, flopping on the fluffiest pillow he can find - he knows the exact one; large, red and squishy with a weird geometric pattern on it - and just knocking the fuck out. His body seemingly on auto-pilot, slowly drags his feet in the direction of the bedroom section where the fat red pillow is calling his name.
He’s so focused on getting to the designated section that he almost disregards another crash, followed by the sound of childish laughter. Letting out a groan, employee obligation overriding his desire to dive in bed and never come back up, he turns around to the kitchen areas. The kitchen areas. Of course a small group of brats decided to play around the kitchen area, the area that has the most fragile items in the store. The outdoors are had already been enough of a pain to clean up – Jimin can’t imagine dealing with broken dishes or scuff marks on pristine tiles.
When Jimin finally gets to the kitchen, he’s lucky to find that the damage is minimal, just a few dishcloths on the floor. With a sigh that’s half relief, half exasperation, he starts to tidy up. He’s folding the last of the orange striped clothes when he hears the giggles again. They’re louder and closer than they were before and Jimin straightens his back. He’s not looking forward to scolding a bunch of kids but he can’t say he’s unhappy to be able to look at the source of today’s misery in the eye.
Resigned, Jimin follows the sound of laughter into another kitchen. This one is spring themed with soft green cupboards and a floral wallpaper. It’s cute. Exactly what Jimin’s mother would want.
Don’t ruin my eomma’s dream kitchen, Jimin thinks to himself as he turns to face his headache.
Well.
What he was expecting was a small group of snot-nosed kids with expressions akin to small devils meant to ruin Jimin’s day. What he doesn’t expect is a small group of – adorable, he admits grumpily – snot-nosed kids with angelic expressions being led by the hottest piece of ass Jimin’s seen in awhile.
The hot stranger looks about his age, blessed with both great bone structure and incredible height. Jimin isn’t bitter about his lack of jawline or short stature at all, nope not a trace of bitterness here. Adding more salt to his wound - and his boner -, Hot Stranger still manages to look like he walked out of a Vogue photoshoot while he’s laughing obnoxiously, clapping his hands like some stupid seal. The white sweater he’s donning has a scooped neck that are exposing his collarbones. Very yummy-looking collarbones. Jimin didn’t even know he was into collarbones until just now.
Honestly he’s into everything that Tall, Tan and Tantalizing has to offer.
Do you need some water? a voice that sounds suspiciously like Hoseok hyung from his dance studio asks him sweetly. Because you sound hella thirsty right now.
Fuck off hyung. He’s not thirsty. Capital N, Not thirsty.
After a minute of watching Hot Stranger pretend to flip pancakes while telling the children a wild tale about an excursion in Africa with elephants, Jimin figures out that they’re playing some strange elaborate game of house. And, watching as “Appa” drops the expensive frying pan with a sheepish expression, Jimin decides it’s time to put a stop this madness. Cuteness. This cute madness.
He clears his throat for attention as he steps forward, putting on his best stern employee face. They all turn to him immediately, the children adopting guilty ‘got-caught-in-the-cookie-jar’ looks. The stranger’s expression is blank for a second before lighting up in elation. Jimin isn’t sure why he’s so excited when he’s about to ban him for life from this Ikea. Jimin doesn’t need this right now. His collarbones are not good for Jimin’s blood pressure.
“Darling!” Hot Stranger exclaims in a loving tone.
Jimin’s brain stops for a second. Two seconds. Three. Goodbye, healthy blood pressure.
He’s not sure how many seconds it’s been until his brain decides to work again but it promptly stops yet again at Hot Stranger’s next words: “Kids, say hi to eomma!”
“Hi eomma!” the children chirp dutifully. Dumbly, Jimin waves back. Wait. Wait no.
Just as he’s about to protest, Hot Stranger is suddenly next to him, throwing an arm around his shoulder and leading him to the table. “Darling, how was work? You came home early, the kids and I haven’t even started dinner yet,” he complains with a pout, pushing Jimin to sit, hand squeezing his shoulder. Jimin tries to ignore how good the warmth of his large palm feels. It doesn’t feel good At All.
The kids follow the two of them, perching on the chairs next to Jimin. There are two boys and a girl, all who roughly look around age four to seven. For a moment, Jimin wonders if Hot Stranger is related to them – or, God forbid, if any of them are actually his spawn – but his thoughts are interrupted when Hot Stranger places a plate in front of him. “Eat up darling! It’s your favorite!” The kids echo “appa” as Jimin stares down at the empty plate. It’s a nice plate – it has a large green fern in the center of it that matches the décor of the kitchen. It’s exactly the kind of plate his eomma would like. Not the kind of plate to be playing house with.
Jimin shakes his head furiously, clears his throat loudly, and once again adopts his Serious Stern Expression that wins him employee of the month at least twice a year. “I’m sorry sir but you really should not be – “ He makes the mistake of looking up – maintaining eye contact is important in dealing with a troublesome customer – and locks gazes with Hot Stranger whose dark eyes are twinkling in a way that makes Jimin’s tongue feel too big for his mouth. He stumbles over his words. “Um – sir I just think it’s not a good idea – “
“Darling!” Hot Stranger interrupts him dramatically by grabbing one of his hands, effectively shutting Jimin up for the second time in ten minutes. Wow, his hands are really big. Okay Park Jimin stop that thinking right now. “Is the food not to your liking? I’m so sorry. What kind of husband am I – when we got married I promised you in front of five hundred people I would provide you with shelter, sustenance, se – “
“Sir,” Jimin’s voice cracks here because he definitely does not want to hear what else was supposedly promised to him – in front of five hundred people really? – “It’s time to stop playing this game – “
“Tell me what I’m doing wrong,” the stranger bemoans, dropping to his knees, taking both of Jimin’s hands and pulling them to his chest. “I swear as a husband I will – “
“Sir!” Jimin explodes shrilly because Hot Stranger has been leaning into Jimin’s space with every word and he can see the mole on the bridge of his nose and that really shouldn’t be as cute as it is; “Sir, I am not your wife!”
Hot Stranger’s face drops so quickly that Jimin almost regrets his harsh tone. The kids are mimicking their appa’s expression and Jimin feels like he has kicked a small horde of puppies. Jimin likes puppies. That aside, he shouldn’t have snapped like that; it was very unprofessional on his part though Hot Stranger makes him think very unprofessional thoughts. No, Jimin. Down boy.
Before he can say anything else, preferably something that will get them out of the kitchen and away from expensive plates, Hot Stranger stands up abruptly. Jimin blinks owlishly when he finds himself on the end of a rather intense gaze. Well. This is not the reaction he expected. Hot Stranger went from sad puppy to….Hotter Stranger. Seriously, Jimin’s starting to blush and he’s feels like this kind of exchange shouldn’t be happen in the vicinity of several small children.
“Darling!” he proclaims seriously. Jimin inwardly groans, the spell broken. He doesn’t get how someone this hot could possibly be this dorky. He’s tired of this mad game of house. “Is your amnesia acting up again? No matter - I will always love you!”
Jimin actually groans out loud, slumping face-forward on the table. He’s so tired. How is this his life, he bemoans to himself as Hot Stranger and his “children” start squawking in the background in a mix of “eomma’s dead!” and “don’t tell me you have narcolepsy too! Darling!”
He is so done with today.
“Listen,” he starts, tone muffled. Maybe if he begs them to stop they’ll take pity on him. His dignity isn’t worth much, right? “Can you please just - “
He is interrupted yet again by a woman’s voice. Will anyone let him finish a sentence today? “There you are! I’ve been looking for you everywhere!” Is today, ‘let’s make Park Jimin’s life as difficult as possible’ day? He looks up to see who he’s assuming is the children’s mother scolding them about running off. They don’t look very guilty, those damn brats. She notices him then and is immediately embarrassed. “I am so sorry sir,” she says coming to him and bowing, pushing the children to do the same. “I hope they didn’t bother you too much.”
“Don’t worry,” Hot Stranger says smoothly. “They were no bother. We were just playing house.” He grins widely at the kids and they beam up. Jimin can literally see the moment where the woman falls for the other boy’s charm. “I was appa and this one,” his hand drops to Jimin’s shoulder again, squeezing lightly, “was my beautiful wife.”
Jimin turns a deep shade of red. The woman coos.
“How adorable!” she squeals, clapping her hands together, eyes gleaming as she stares at them with an almost hungry look in his eyes. Jimin isn’t sure if he would rather have a scandalized mother looking at them like sinners or this woman eyeing them up like a yaoi manga spread. On one hand, hell yes to social liberalists. On the other, please don’t fetishize him. “You two make such a handsome pair.”
He splutters in protest but the hand on his shoulder drops to the small of his back and suddenly he can’t breathe. “I know right?” he sounds too smug for Jimin’s liking, considering the fact that they’ve only known each other for less an hour.
“Did you find everything alright ma’am?” he manages to say, getting up and slipping back into employee mode. He’s so embarrassed that he let himself get caught up in this nonsense just because of a pretty face. Jimin glances up at the other boy again. A very pretty face.
Stop it Jimin, he tells himself fiercely.
“Oh yes,” the customer is beaming at him. “My husband and I just picked out a new nightstand and – “
“That sounds wonderful,” he interrupts hastily. “Shall I go ring you up then?” He ushers the family out of the before he feels a sudden pressure on his wrist. Hot Stranger is staring at him with a strangely morose expression, grip on his wrist light. “Sir,” Jimin attempts to tug his wrist out of his grip but the fingers only tighten. “I have to go do my job now.
The other boy lets out a dramatic sigh. “Parting is such sweet sorrow, darling.”
Jimin’s eye twitches. He should really go write this guy up and ban him from the store. It would probably be best for Jimin’s health. In fact, he’s about to demand for his contact information when suddenly he’s being pulled forward. Hot Stranger takes both of Jimin’s hands in his own again and Jimin is momentarily struck dumb by how his hands are dwarfed by the other’s tanned ones.
Then the boy lifts his hands to his lips and brushes his lips against the back of Jimin’s hands. The touch is so soft and delicate, Jimin wouldn’t even realize it was happening if he wasn’t witnessing it in front of him right now. He’s not sure what kind of face he’s making but he’s definitely sure his heart has stopped beating. It starts up again violently when the boy looks at him almost shyly, tongue licking over lips. Jimin can’t take his eyes away.
The moment is broken by the sound of loud squealing. Mortified, Jimin breaks away and turns to see the young mother looking at them with literal hearts in her eyes, clutching her chest. The children also look pleased with their faux parents.
“I knew amneesyah wouldn’t beat appa!” the smallest one says proudly.
“It’s ‘amnesia’,” his sister corrects him thoughtfully.
“How cute!” the woman looks positively gleeful.
Jimin flees the scene, managing to squeak “Please excuse me!” as he runs to the employee lounge. He doesn’t think he breathes once the entire time.
His coworker Hyejin nearly jumps out of her seat, her yogurt spilling to the floor when he bursts into the room, wheezing. “Jimin? What the hell?” she whines in dismay, pouting down at her fallen yogurt.
Jimin sinks to the ground, burying his face in his knees. “Hyejin-ah,” he whimpers. “I’ll buy you ten yogurts if you please go ring up the customers and let me die in here.”
“How can you buy me yogurt if I let you die?” she responds snidely but she’s getting up, ruffling his hair as she walks out. Jimin is going to buy her yogurt for the rest of the year. “Only because I’m wonderful,” she calls out as she walks out of the door.
“The most wonderful!” he shouts after her back.
He crawls over to the small couch they have in the break room before burying his head in the pillow, letting out a quiet, strangled scream. That did not just happen. He did not just let that happen. And he ran away oh my god.
He lies there for a while, vaguely contemplating suffocating himself with the pillow, before Hyejin comes back, prodding him in the back with her foot. “You didn’t throw up on anything did you?”
He just groans. She keeps kicking lightly at him until he looks up at her with the most woeful expression he can muster. Hyejin laughs. “Oh come on, just a few more hours. Plus I have good news,” she says slyly.
Jimin has a very bad feeling about this. “…What,” he asks cautiously.
Hyejin presents a small piece of paper with a flourish. Jimin takes it from her wordlessly. “So, this really hot guy comes up to me and tells me to give you this – I know it was you because he complimented your ass – Park Jimin what are you doing!”
He ignores her as he rips the paper to shreds calmly. Hyejin stares at him in disbelief. “He’s not good for my blood pressure,” he explains.
“Oh my god,” Hyejin groans when he’s torn the paper into microscopic pieces. “You dumbass, he was really hot! And I didn’t even read it!”
“It was just his phone number.”
“Don’t lie to me – yah Park Jimin get back here!”
Jimin waves as he exits. “Let’s go to the market after our shift and I’ll buy you your yogurt,” he says offhandedly, ignoring Hyejin’s protests.
Jimin really, really wants to be angry. He really does. This guy technically added more unnecessary stress with his dismantling of the displays to an already terrible day. He also induced levels of embarrassment Jimin hasn’t felt since he peed his pants in primary school.
He really wants to be angry.
But he spends the rest of his shift with a blush on his face, ignoring Hyejin’s prying questions, trying hard not to think about the string of numbers he’s already memorized or the cute bubbly text:
“Darling~ You ran off before I could say anything! I’m sorry if this was weird, but you’re really cute. Give your husband a call, maybe? ;) ♥♥♥♥”
“What’s with you today?” Hoseok asks later at the end of practice when they’re both sweaty messes sprawled on the floor, muscles switching with exertion. Jimin had decided to dance away all the stress from earlier, losing himself in the music, moving with more aggression than usual. He makes a face at the ceiling.
“I met my mortal enemy today,” he states solemnly.
Hoseok responds by flopping on his side, propping himself up on one arm to look at Jimin, expectant for more. Jimin glances at him tiredly.
“I don’t really want to talk about it.”
Hoseok raises his eyebrows. “Okay,” he sounds agreeable but Jimin knows it’s a trick. He mumbles a few choice swear words under his breath before sighing.
“This guy at work was a total menace. He grouped a bunch of kids into being his fake children and ran around the whole store messing shit up,” he groans. “He was – I can’t even – the worst, he was the worst. My mortal enemy,” he finishes decisively, throwing an arm over his face, trying to erase the image of the tall boy from his mind, boxy grin flashing, eyebrows waggling suggestively.
“Hm,” is all Hoseok says.
Jimin pulls his arm away to stare at Hoseok. “Really? That’s all you have to say? No words of comfort or anything a good hyung would say?”
Hoseok shrugs. “I mean I would but,” a teasing grin is starting to form on his face much to Jimin’s dismay. “After your little rant? You smiled like an idiot for like ten seconds. I counted.”
Jimin lets out an offended gasp. “I did not!”
“Did too!”
Jimin groans turning away from his laughing hyung. Hoseok slides closer and starts to poke at his back repeatedly. “So? Tell me more about your so-called mortal enemy!”
There’s silence for a moment before Jimin looks over to face him with a resigned expression. “He wasn’t really the worst,” he says slowly, unraveling the thoughts he’s been trying to repress all day.
Hoseok nods in encouragement. “Uh huh.”
“It was actually pretty cute the way he was playing with the kids.”
“Yeah?”
“…He’s also really, really hot,” Jimin admits rather desolately.
Hoseok bursts into laughter. “You sound hella thirsty.”
Jimin kicks at Hoseok, spluttering. “Fuck off hyung!”
Hoseok rolls away from Jimin’s attack smoothly, “Wow he must be really hot. I haven’t seen you this pink since Taeyang ripped his shirt on stage.”
“Oh my god, shut up.” Jimin is Done. So much for getting rid of today’s stress. He can practically feel his blood pressure begin to rise again. He’s never unloading his heart to Hoseok ever again. Seokjin can be his new favorite hyung.
“No I’m serious Jimin! This is what happens when you’re single for too long! You start thirsting after the first piece of hot ass you find. When was the last time you got laid?”
Jimin turns an ugly shade of puce. “That is none of your business!”
Hoseok’s kind of got a point. Not like Jimin would ever admit it to him. Aside from the occasional blind date his friends set up, Jimin’s dating life has been nonexistent for most of his college life. He doesn’t even want to think about his sex life. The nations of Jimin’s Dick and Asshole have been without resources for quite some time now. It’s really quite sad.
“Whatever hyung, you know I want to focus more on dance anyways. Do what you do,” Jimin points out, trying to deflect from the sad state of his love life. It’s not like he’s lying. Hoseok had graduated last year and had already gotten a job as a choreographer. Jimin has always wanted to follow in the older’s footsteps so he did everything the elder had done: taking up extra hours at the dance studio to stand out, participating in showcases, and volunteering his time to teach dance to kids. Jimin honestly felt he couldn’t compare to Hoseok but he knew he worked hard, and that went a long way.
Hoseok looks at him fondly for a moment before annoyance takes over again. “Yah Park Jimin don’t try to change the subject.”
Jimin looks away innocently. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Seeing an opening to escape, he gets up from the floor and starts to pack up.
Hoseok doesn’t plan on letting him go so easily, hovering over him as Jimin zips up his duffel bag. “Did you get his name at least?”
“Nope.”
A groan. “Jimin!”
Jimin pointedly doesn’t look at Hoseok. “He did give me his number but I sorta ripped it up.”
“…You are your own biggest cockblock.”
Jimin ignores Hoseok’s scandalized tone, throwing the strap of his bag over his shoulder. He gives his hyung a two finger salute. “See ya hyung!” He lets the door slam shut, pretending not to hear Hoseok’s outraged cry of “this isn’t over!”
Once he’s home, only a fifteen minute walk from the studio, he indulges in a long shower, letting the hot water soak away his worries. Tomorrow is a new day, a better day. He mutters this to himself as he blow-dries his hair. A ping comes from his phone, indicating an incoming text message. He grabs it, only to let out a groan at the words on the screen.
>jeonggukie: i heard from a little bird ur desperate for some d
>jimin: …I AM GOING TO KILL HOSEOK
>jeonggukie: wow dont b disrespectful :/
>jimin: stfu
>jeonggukie: it’s ok we all get desperate sometimes
>jeonggukie: tell me more abt ur hot mortal enemy ;)
>jimin: good night u little devil
With that, Jimin places his charger on the other side of the room so that he won't be tempted to answer to more of Jeongguk's teasing. He stares at it for a moment biting his lip, before clicking on the "Add New Contact" button with some reluctance. Dutifully ignoring the gleeful Hoseok like voice in his head, jeering and taunting about his 'thirsty ass', he quickly inputs the numbers before he can change his mind. The blank section of the contact name glares up at him.
After a minute of internal debate, he just puts an angry emoji, thinking that will do as a placeholder for now. Not that he's going to be texting this dude. Or finding out his name. Or anything like that. He just wanted to put the number for reference. Yep that's it.
Jimin crawls into bed, suddenly much more exhausted than before. He pulls the sheets up to his face and closes his eyes tightly. He does not dream of boxy smiles and deep voices.
The rest of his week goes by peacefully. He does well on his midterm, his hip-hop instructor approves of his routine for his upcoming practical, one of the lead choreographers approves of the class. To top it all off, his favorite barista made his morning latte perfectly. It's honestly been a perfect week. It's like the universe is apologizing for the terrible stressful mess that was Monday morning's shift. The fact that the ridiculous stranger may or may not have been the main star in Jimin's wet dreams as of recently is completely irrelevant.
He walks into today's shift with a ridiculous amount of energy. He and Hyejin have to do inventory this morning, one of the job's most dreaded tasks but with all his good energy and the caffeine from his morning latte rushing through his veins he feels like he can take on anything.
Hyejin grimaces at him when he walks into the storage room. "What the hell are you on and where can I get some?" she demands grumpily. Jimin's grin only brightens. He spends the two hours they do inventory cheerfully asking Hyejin about his day and talking about his great week. By the time their other coworker comes in, asking if anyone wants to switch to register, he's pretty sure Hyejin is ready to kill him.
"Go, just go! You inhuman ball of optimism!" she snaps at him.
He waves happily at her as he walks over to the registers. Working registers is nice. Typically you run into little problems here unless the customer tried to pay in pennies or something. Which would be ridiculous considering the price of their items. Today he runs into absolutely zero problems, engaging in pleasant conversation with the ahjummas, making faces at any small children who come to the line. If he could get tips as an Ikea employee, he would totally be rolling in tips today. That last mother looked like she wanted to take him home and adopt him when he asked her about her day.
"Have a lovely day!" he bids an elderly couple goodbye after packing their new bedding carefully into one of their bags. He turns to face the next customer with another blinding smile. "Hello! Did you find everything you were looking for today?"
"Well the service could've been a bit better but I'll keep my comments to myself."
The smile drops from his face when he realizes just who he's talking to. The bastard looks just as good as he did last time, even better, Jimin notes dazedly in a dark blue jeans and a leather jacket. His hair is tousled in a 'just-rolled-out-of-bed' manner that Jimin, to his growing horror, finds incredibly sexy. To top it all off, he's wearing a large pair of sunglasses. What kind of douchebag wears sunglasses indoors? It really should lower Jimin's raging level of attraction to this guy but apparently he has zero standards because his proverbial boner refuses to die down.
"You!" he sputters out eloquently.
Hot Stranger flashes a cheeky smile. "Me," he sing-songs back. Suddenly he leans into Jimin's space, a pout forming on his lips. "Darling, you never gave me a call. Are you angry with me?"
Jimin immediately covers the other boy's mouth with his hand. "Don't call me darling!" he hisses, looking around to see if any of his coworkers - or other customers for that matter- are in sight. He lets out a sigh of relief when he sees that no one was in close enough proximity to hear what the other boy called him. "Sir can you please - did you just lick me?" Jimin springs away from the other boy as if he'd been burned. Hot Stranger - now officially dubbed Annoying Stranger is no longer pouting but staring at Jimin with a strange look in his eye. Jimin feels a little unsettled. "That was unsanitary," he complains.
Annoying Stranger raises his eyebrows. "Do I look like I give a damn?" his tone is stiff and a little blank. Jimin stares at him, confused by the sudden 180 in mood. Well excuse him for wanting to be sanitary! Damn.
"Um - " he starts but the other boy has grabbed his wrist and his pulling him out of the his place behind the register. "Hey wait! I can't just leave the register unsupervised," he protests, trying to tug out of the taller boy's grip. Those fingers - long, long fingers Jimin thinks to himself dazedly - just tighten as they walk over to one of the bedroom displays. Instantly he's pushed on his knees behind the bed and for one panicked moment, Jimin thinks he's about to be robbed. Or worse. But Hot Stranger just settles by him, lips pursed into a thin line.
They sit there for a moment, Jimin giving the boy a chance to explain himself. When none comes, he lets out a loud groan, starting to get up. Immediately he's tugged back down, Hot Stranger scowling at him. "Don't go out there! Your cover is already blown. We need to lie low."
Jimin stares at him. What the hell is he going on about? He doesn’t have time for this. 'How about 'no' is what he'd like to say but this guy is technically still a customer and he's still on shift. So he just offers his best polite smile before starting to get up again.
"Agent 008! Stop being difficult!"
Jimin just stares at him for a second. Agent...? What? Oh. Oh. Something clicks in Jimin's brain and he could laugh honestly. This should be annoying but he's so damn endeared by this giant acting like such a little kid. A giant baby.
"008? Are you supposed to be 007 then?" he can't keep the teasing tone out of his voice. Hot Stranger sniffs at him.
"Of course! I'm the best Korea has."
"Somehow I doubt that...I mean, eight's a higher number than seven isn't it?"
Hot Stranger whips his sunglasses off his face dramatically. "I'm Korea's Bond!" he insists, losing his stern tone from before, scrunching his nose up. It's cute. Jimin shouldn't find it cute, but it totally is.
"Sure you are."
“There isn’t a multi-million movie franchise based on agent 008 is there?”
“I don’t know, sounds like a guy who works in the shadows. Very valuable to the force.”
An exaggerated look of offense on his face, he leans in closer to Jimin to poke at his nametag. Jimin pretends that his heart rate doesn't pick up at the proximity. "At least I can pick more creative names than 'Jimin' as my alias," he grumbles.
"Oh yeah, smart guy? What's your alias then?"
"V," he says solemnly, flashing a peace sign at Jimin. "For victory."
Jimin snorts at that. "At least my name is cute."
V - this is much better and less embarrassing than calling him Hot Stranger - tilts his head and regards him with a sudden intensity. Jimin doesn't blush. He doesn’t. "You're right. Very cute."
....All right maybe he's blushes a little. Maybe more than a little judging by the smug smirk starting to form on V’s face. He has to turn this around.
“V’s a lame name,” he says weakly.
"Ikea’s a lame place to have as a cover up," V responds quickly.
Jimin frowns a little. That was a bit too personal. He loves where he works, thanks very much. "Well, I rather be lame than be douchey – who even wears sunglasses inside?”
V bursts out laughing. "Sunglasses? Oh, 008. These are brand-new, top of the line, multi-purpose glasses. Comes with internet and everything. Every good agent has one. Are you saying you don’t?”
"...You still look like a douchebag."
V scoffs before putting the sunglasses back on. "Well, I'm a good-looking douchebag aren't I?"
Jimin bites his tongue to keep down the 'hell yeah you are' that's threatening to burst from him.
There's another hum of silence, but it's more comfortable than before. Jimin surreptitiously looks down at his watch and blanches. "Okay I definitely have to go - "
"Wait!" V sticks his palm - his fucking huge palm - in Jimin's face. "I have a very important question for you before you go."
"...and what's that?" Jimin asks warily. V moves his hand away to lower his sunglasses, dark eyes glinting. He slides closer to Jimin until their knees are touching. Jimin gulps a little at the proximity. He's so focused on the heat of V's jean-clad knee transferring to his own, that he misses the question.
He blinks. "Sorry what?"
V's lips are quirked up in amusement. "I said, what's your favorite Bond movie?"
"Oh." Jimin wracks his brain for the name - it's been awhile since he even saw the last one. "Casino Royale."
V beams at him, slapping his shoulder good-naturedly. "Good man! That's the best one. I liked Skyfall a lot too, but nothing beats good ol' Royale."
Jimin shrugs with a sheepish smile. "I actually haven't seen Skyfall yet."
"What?!" the other boys shrieks in outrage. Jimin covers his mouth again with a hissed 'Shhh!' though immediately pulls away remembering what the boy had done before.
"Be quiet," he chides. "I thought we were supposed to be keeping our cover?"
V looks delighted for a second before nodding solemnly. "You're right, my apologies 008," he says in a hushed tone. "But seriously - you haven't seen Skyfall yet? It's like been a year. You have no excuse."
"What can I say, I'm really bad at watching movies."
V makes a disgusted noise. "Okay you have to watch it this weekend. It's on Netflix, you have no excuses."
"Fine, fine." He glances at his watch again. Holy shi - has it really been fifteen minutes?! Hyejin is going to string him up by his intestines if he doesn't get back to the register.
"Okay I really have to go," he says as he gets up, brushing the dirt off his pants. They really need to sweep more by the beds. V's watching him with a slight pout. Jimin offers him a tentative smile.
"This was...fun I guess," he says cautiously. It's true. It was still ridiculous but it was definitely less invasive and stress inducing than the last encounter. V brightens at that.
"Really?"
Jimin nods.
V jumps to his feet. "Well then....this agent might pop in again. Just to check on you."
Jimin squints. "You don't even know when I work."
V waggles his eyebrows. "I have my ways," he says mysteriously.
He doesn't know what possesses him to do it, but Jimin walks over to him and flicks his forehead. V lets out a little yelp of pain. "Don't be creepy," he admonishes.
"You wound me darling," he whines. "In my heart and head."
"Quit calling me darling," Jimin says tiredly. "My name is Jimin."
"Jimin darling," V responds cheekily. He jumps out of the way to avoid Jimin's kick. Jimin scowls at him.
"Get back here so I can hit you properly."
"Ikea employees assaulting customers?! What will the media say?"
"You haven't even bought anything! You're not a real customer!"
"Lies and slander - I bought a pillow yesterday!"
"So why are you here today?"
He has the decency to look sheepish. “My pillow needed a girlfriend.”
Jimin’s eyes narrow. “Get out.”
“Yessir!” V leaves him with a two fingered salute. When he’s a good distance away – possibly to avoid any more of Jimin’s kicks – he turns around, pointing his index finger at Jimin, imitating the ‘bang’ of a gun. “Here’s looking at you, kid!”
Jimin blinks for a moment before hollering back. “That’s Casablanca, you asshole!”
V only cackles before disappearing through the doors.
Hyejin’s got that smile on her face that is indicative of certain doom for Jimin when he goes back to the register. “Where the hell were you?” she asks, the sweetness of her voice contrasting with the angry gleam in her eyes. Jimin’s lucky there are customers in line otherwise he’s sure she’d have her foot halfway up his ass.
“Hyejinnie~” he cajoles as he goes over to switch places with her. “You look so radiant today.” He gets a pinch on his wrist for his efforts, biting on his lip to hold back his cry of pain. He forces a polite smile at the customer he rings up, keeping up the façade until they’ve exited the store. Hyejin pinches him again.
“Ouch – do you have to dig in your nails like that? Hyejin, please.”
“Don’t try to sweet talk your way out of this Park Jimin I swear to God – “
“Remember that guy from a couple of weeks ago? I saw him again,” Jimin says hurriedly, vaguely terrified for his life at the look of murder in the shorter girl’s eyes.
It’s legitimately scary how quickly Hyejin switches from angry to excited.
“What?! No shit?!” she punches Jimin’s shoulder in what’s meant to be a friendly gesture but it actually hurts. A lot. “You’ve been holding out on me Jimin! No wonder you’re smiling like your paycheck came early.”
“I am not!” Jimin denies hotly. Hyejin ignores him.
“Please tell me you got his number this time and didn’t rip it up?”
“No – “ he sidesteps to avoid another punch. “ – but he said he’d come again so…” he trails off, staring at the cash register fixedly, trying to ignore the cooing noises coming from Hyejin.
“How adorable! He’s going to sweep you off your feet at work.”
Jimin thinks about earlier, squatting behind the bed pretending to be secret agents of all things. V might have the face of a dreamboat but it’s clear that he has the heart of a five year old. “I doubt that’s going to happen…”
Hyejin continues despite his words. “He must really be into you because those khakis do not do your glorious ass justice.”
“Hyejin!”
Hyejin shrugs, completely dismissing Jimin’s scandalized tone. “I’m just telling it how it is.”
Jimin groans, covering his face with his hand. “Please don’t envision some stupid romantic comedy for my life okay? It’s nothing.”
She rolls his eyes at him. “Sure it’s nothing.”
Later at home, Jimin changes the contact from misc angry emoji to “That Weirdo V.” He briefly entertains the idea of sending the other boy a text before deciding against it. This is good enough for now.