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Keigo didn’t know what it meant to love someone.
Sure, he’d seen enough movies to know what people looked like when they were in love. He’d seen the most popular movies where the characters fell in love after frustrating amounts of miscommunication and pining. He knew what it looked like, but didn’t know what it meant to him.
His relationship with his mother was… complicated. And the relationship, or the lack of, with his father was void of positive emotions. He had no time to date, not seriously anyway. Not enough time to, even for the fastest man alive.
So, why did his chest tighten and his stomach literally do flips when he saw you?
His first thought was: He was dying. Some villain sent you to kill him in his own office.
Reality: You were coming to do your nighttime cleaning when he stumbled in after landing wrong. You even helped him to his couch and bought him a drink. (With your own money, too. Had anyone ever done that for him?)
You were kind enough to help and stay with him while he rested after his near-collapse. You and he talked, and before he knew it, you actually made him laugh. Not the performative kind of laugh he used when he was Hawks, but a real one he didn’t think he was capable of. One that made his shoulders hitch to his ears and his cheeks flush from how much blood was rushing to his face.
“ You’re funny, you know that? We should go out sometime. ”
“ What? You’re kidding, right? ”
He laughed again because your nose scrunched up as if you had eaten something bitter. It reminded him of a bunny.
Before you came along, he’d never paid too much attention to anyone else. People watching was different than actually talking to someone and getting to know them. After that night, he became more aware of you. He saw you sometimes when he was at the agency, walking around with a cleaning cart. He bumped into you a few times and always chatted with you. Then, he memorized your habits and schedule so he could see you at least once a day. Nothing crazy, just enough to see you before a nearby villain's attack whisked him away. You were his friend, sort of.
But he couldn’t stop the rush of thoughts that came into his head when he’d spot you from afar. Did you do something different today? You looked nice today, like always. You had a different manga this time, but it seems it’s the same author of the series you liked. Was that your favorite author? Did you change your soap again? You smell minty this time. Was that mole always there behind your ear? Oh, there’s another on the palm of your hand.
He wanted nothing more than to spend his entire day coexisting with you, literally doing anything and everything with you. Because you were just his friend, right? That’s what friends do, of course. (This was not what friends should feel for their friends.)
“Counting the stars again?”
Keigo turned his head, spotting you out of your work uniform and in your own clothes. Your jacket was dark blue, thick, and well-worn from constant use. Your red shoes were scuffed more on the left than the right based on how often you dragged them. He should really tell you to get your leg checked out; maybe it was an old injury.
“Huh?” Keigo blinked before shaking his head. “Nah, just thinking.”
“Oh?” You replied. “About what?”
You . “Oh, just stuff. Don’t worry about it.” He said, waving you off.
“Oh, okay.”
Keigo walked beside you, a habit of walking with you when you left work. You didn’t always work until the evenings, but he made it into a habit to walk with you when you did. It was out of concern, and definitely not because he wanted to spend time with you.
You readjusted your bag to the other shoulder, the shoulder farthest from him. It left space between you and him, something he remedied by moving closer on the sidewalk. His shoulder brushed up against yours, your hand so close to his, yet the distance couldn’t be farther. If he moved his hand correctly, he could easily grab and hold your hand.
No, don’t do that , he told himself, you’ll scare them away before you even get the chance to figure any of this out .
“So, whatcha reading now?” Keigo asked, gesturing to your bag. “Is it something new?”
“Hm, oh, right,” You said, pulling out your phone. “This new release, I pre-ordered a couple of months ago.”
You leaned in closer, and he did the same, to show him a website on your phone.
“It’s a side story for the series I’ve been reading. It focuses on the brother of the main character this time. I was excited about it because I wanted to know about his brother and what he would do about his situation with his roommate.” You explained, pulling up the rest of the information as you scrolled. “See, this one is more of a working adult genre than a high school romance like the main story. So, it’s different this time around since they’re all adults now. That means there’s more of a chance for all kinds of tropes to happen.”
Keigo hummed, listening to you ramble excitedly. He liked the spark in your eyes when you got excited about something. Your mouth would curl into a big smile, and your hands would move with your words.
“Oh, right, you told me about the brother and his roommate,” Keigo replied. “How long do you think it’ll take for him to realize his roommate likes him?”
You huffed, shaking your head. “He’s a bit dense, so it’ll definitely happen later in the plot. I like those dramatic love confessions when the character least expects it. It makes the tension worth suffering through.”
Keigo tried not to pull his hair out at your words. Oh, how the universe hated him right now. He thought the tension would kill him, and here you were, saying you actually enjoyed it.
“You should let me borrow it once you’re done with it. I wanna see how good it gets.” He said, bumping his shoulder into yours, unintentionally, of course.
You blinked, baffled by his request. “Really? Then, you should really start from the main series. The buildup to their romance is subtle, but the main couple is interesting to read about, too.”
He shrugged, “Yeah, okay, I can start there, then.”
You quieted, staring at him quizzically. “You really want to read it?”
Keigo noted the disbelief in your voice, not that it made sense to him. Of course, he wanted to read it. You , his friend, had a special interest in this series, so he obviously wanted to know more about it. Even if he didn’t do much reading or had much interest in it, like you did. Because you were his friend, that’s all. And friends do things like this all the time.
“Well, yeah. I want to know more about the things you like.”
Your eyes went wide, and your mouth parted in an ‘o’. “Oh, okay, yeah. I can lend it to you.”
Keigo grinned, “Cool.”
He wasn’t sure if this was love, not yet. But it was something new. Like the start of something that terrified him, but filled his bones with an exciting delight. It satisfied his never-ending hunger and made his ache for more . It made his feathers ruffle with the phantom movement of flying even when his feet were touching the ground. It was the rush of wind that stung his face, and the sun's warmth on his face. He’d figure it out, eventually.