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In the hours of the early morning, Hong Lu awakens to a slumbering Yi Sang.
Sleeping peacefully, Yi Sang comfortably snoozes in Hong Lu’s arms. Together, they both lie on his bed, in the room constructed by Mephistopheles. At times like this, he’s quite grateful for Faust’s ingenuity.
Hong Lu takes a quiet breath in, and sighs. After the chaos the day before — meeting and sealing the elders, beating up his grandmother, and the ascension of Xichun to Family Hierarch — he believes a few sighs are well due.
Coming back to the present, he pulls the sheets a bit closer. He knows quite well how easily cold Yi Sang gets. With the same hand that pulled the sheets back up, Hong Lu uses it to gently pet the sleeping man’s hair. It’s quite therapeutic, he finds.
He’s now infinitely more glad he smashed the projection in Tiekan Temple — he’s not sure if he could stand anyone else seeing Yi Sang like this.
After a while though, the petting seems to wake Yi Sang from his slumber. Dark eyes blink sleepily at him, which Hong Lu finds endlessly adorable.
“Mm…good morning,” Yi Sang mumbles.
“Hehe,” Hong Lu chuckles. “Not a morning person, hm?~”
Yi Sang squints at him, and ducks his head back into Hong Lu’s neck. There, he hums in agreement. Hong Lu pulls the blankets up further, to allow Yi Sang to hide away in his arms.
For a while, Hong Lu rests his eyes. Not that he’d actually fall asleep now, but after all this time, relaxation feels like heaven. It’s also a new experience for him, laying next to someone else, he realizes. Once again, he’s glad the elders will never see anything else from now on.
The sound is slightly muffled, but Yi Sang’s voice still comes out. “...Before, the life of a scientist did not require a strict waking time.”
“So,” Hong Lu laughs, “You slept in all the time?”
With a slight grumble, he replies, “I…it appears so.”
Hong Lu laughs even more. The sound fills the early morning air with bright warmth, chasing away any worries he had left from yesterday’s chaos. Yi Sang would readily admit that he would wake up every morning to continue hearing that sound.
———
(“Break the birdcage…”)
Hong Lu can only watch as broken shards come together, creating a beautiful, gleaming wing. Feathers flutter about, just as pure and beautiful. To Hong Lu’s eyes, the sight is mesmerizing. He wonders if the elders think the same.
‘Brilliant, radiant warmth,’ he thinks.
In the midst of the golden field, the setting sun paints everything in a warm glow. Dongrang cracks, then shatters into nothingness.
Hong Lu’s eyes linger on Yi Sang.
(“And be free.”)
————
When he slashes the gate, filling the room with long yearned-for waters, the memory of a radiant wing comes back to him. Long ago, perhaps he would shut the memory away — letting the brief ripples fade out into tranquil waters. Now, he realizes that he never calmed anything at all. The still waters…were simply just an illusion, hiding his own indecision. The waters swell, and he goes along with them.
————
One day in HamHamPangPang, the sinners take a much-deserved break.
Rodion yawns, and stretches out her arms. “Ah~ Finally, some good food!” A plate is set down in front of her, containing what she had previously described as, “A juicy hunk of meat,” which she eagerly digs into.
The other sinners seemingly share similar sentiments, as they all soon follow suit in stuffing their mouths with food. They make an amusing sight — all crammed together into a couple of booths right next to each other. As much as any of them would like to complain about the space though…the threat of a ‘consultation’ still rests close. Then again, when has that fact ever stopped any of them? (A bunch of times.)
“H-Hey…Don Quixote, could you um…move over a bit? I’m pretty sure I’m going to fall out of the seat soon…” Sinclair says.
“Ah, verily!” Don Quixote replies. “As soon as Sir Heathcliff moves as well!” she adds.
“Bugger,” Heathcliff mutters, “I’ll move when this seat gets bigger.”
Dejected, Sinclair looks to the ground. Perhaps he’s contemplating if he should sit down there instead. “Ah…okay.”
For as glorious as HamHamPangPang is, they unfortunately ran out of seats today. Leading many of the sinners to be squished together in the booths — all to obtain delicious food. Hong Lu considers this another chance to see what it’s like as one of the poorer folk. Growing up in Daguanyuan, he had never needed to share a seat with someone else. He’s quite sure someone would cause a stir if he said those musings aloud, though. Probably Heathcliff.
Next to him, Yi Sang quietly says a few words. “Hong Lu, do you also require me to move?”
“Nope!” Hong Lu smiles. “Ah, I’m perfectly alright like this.”
Still a bit reluctant, Yi Sang’s gaze flickers to where their bodies pressed together. “…Are you sure you don’t mind?”
“Nope!” he repeats.
After a brief pause Hong Lu continues, “I like this, to be honest.” Trying to find the words, he hums in thought. “How to say…it’s because it’s a new experience?”
“Besides,” he adds. “I like being next to you!”
“O-Oh, um…” Yi Sang trails off. Hong Lu watches as a slight flush overtakes the man’s face.
‘Red stands out easily on his cheeks,’ he realizes.
After a moment, Yi Sang nods, “...Mm, I understand.”
The two of them lapse back into comfortable silence, letting the sounds of the restaurant fill back the empty air. If Hong Lu strains his ears, he’s sure he can hear Ishmael and Heathcliff bickering again. Even in completely separate booths, it seems like nothing will stop the two from arguing.
Afternoon sunlight suddenly pierces through the windows, making him blink to adjust his eyes. Even the darkened glass isn’t enough to stop the glare. Yi Sang visibly shrinks back, as if he were fleeing from the sun.
Hong Lu leans forward to shield him from the light. Yi Sang sends him a small smile.
…If his heart were a lake, or perhaps a well, he imagines small ripples floating across it.
Hong Lu smiles.
Next to Yi Sang, Faust says, “The allotted break ends in approximately five minutes. Please wrap up your meals, everyone.”
———
“Would you prefer it?” Yi Sang asks him. “To stay happy, inside a dream?”
“Ah, no no,” Hong Lu waves his hands. Together, the two of them sit across from each other, sipping tea on a small table. “I was…simply curious, on what it would be like to live that way.”
Inside Yi Sang’s room, the two of them converse together. After many months of working together, things have naturally escalated to this. It’s not quite out of the norm anyway — Hong Lu has usually heard Don Quixote and Sinclair playing chess inside this room as well. He wonders if the chess matches will continue, even after Don Quixote has remembered her past now.
“Is that so?” Yi Sang replies. Hong Lu hums.
“Mm, well…I don’t have any worries right now, anyway,” he smiles. “Hehe~ There’s nothing that truly bothers me now.”
“I find that a bit…unlikely,” Yi Sang says. “Is there truly nothing that comes to your mind? Even I…”
He trails off.
“Nope~” Hong Lu waves him off. “Believe it or not but…I think being with you eases all my worries!”
Yi Sang blushes. “Ah, u-um. Yes. I…as well.”
Hong Lu has to mentally restrain himself from saying anything further. He yearns to see more than a simple blush, these days. Not that he himself is helping.
‘I believe it’s called…self sabotage?’ He wonders what the elders would think.
———
A few days after the incident with Donrang, Yi Sang comes up to him.
“I remember,” Hong Lu says. “Your fellow Young-ji, right?”
“Mm, indeed. Sometimes I find you both…quite resemble each other,” Yi Sang replies. His eyes widen though, as he seems to panic over what he said.
“Ah,” Yi Sang quickly adds. “I am not implying that you are exactly, or even similarly like him but…your smile, it is I believe, similar.”
“Oh! So,” Hong Lu tilts his head at him, “You think I also have a troubled mind behind a smile?”
“No!” Yi Sang panics, again. “I-I apologize, that was not what I meant to say. I only wish to convey—“
“—I understand,” Hong Lu cuts him off. “You…don’t want to witness someone else end up like that, right?”
With a small nod, Yi Sang’s eyes gaze towards the ground. For a few moments, silence envelops the two.
“It was my utmost regret, to only notice the turmoil in his heart after everything became…irreversible,” he says.
Hong Lu wants to reassure the man, to say something to wash away any remaining doubt he may have in himself. But…he wonders, is he the right person to do it? Someone like Manager Dante may be better, after all. Someone who would do their very best to reassure their sinners. Someone who could change things. Someone who could show kindness.
Hong Lu smiles.
With enthusiasm, he chirps, “Ah well, I appreciate the concern but…you don’t need to worry about me! As you can see,” he gestures to himself, and claps. “I’m perfectly alright with things~”
Yi Sang visibly relaxes, and returns the smile. “...Thank you, Hong Lu.”
“Hehe,” he chuckles. “It’s no problem~”
———
If he allowed himself to linger on it longer, would it fall apart? An illusion shattering, fragile and tenuous as it was.
The thought only sprouted in his mind, when he pondered those buried petals. ‘Yes,’ he knows. ‘They are gone, buried, are they not? They should not…they did not—‘
‘They…bothered me no more.’
(‘Did they?’)
If his heart were a lake, would Yi Sang be a stone tossed in?
‘No, not just a stone,’ he muses. ‘An earthquake, or a storm would be better.’
Those memories. Those things. All the happy, joyous, sorrowful, wrathful things. Would they all be stones tossed in? Aiming to stir, to shatter the tranquil peace.
Seeing all the memories again, seeing Lin Daiyu again, perhaps those things stirred up feelings inside him. But even if…
‘I cannot change anything.’
(‘It was only when I buried all my petals, that I could smile.’)
‘I cannot…’
‘I...’
(‘But am I smiling?’)
“Hong Lu..? Are you…alright?”
A soft, worrying voice breaks him out of his thoughts. Hong Lu smiles at the speaker. Even without looking, he’s quite sure he knows who it is.
“Ah, Yi Sang…” he says. “Sorry, hehe. I was just thinking~”
With a frown etched on his face, Yi Sang only continues to look worriedly at him. Just like the others, who had shot varying amounts of concern during the day before.
“...Alright,” Yi Sang replies. Although accepting his answer, Yi Sang continues to walk beside him. Together, they walk a bit ahead of the others, as Hong Lu continues to lead the way inside the building where—
He wonders if the elders are eagerly watching now. Surely, they must be quite excited now.
No doubt they are watching, of course. Watching, as he and Yi Sang step side-by-side, walking down the halls they’ve witnessed before. Watching, as Lin Daiyu looks intently at him — with what emotion, Hong Lu cannot know. Watching, watching, watching. Never has he been so aware, so maddened by the knowledge of what watches alongside him. At least…since then.
“Hong Lu,” Yi Sang starts. “Are you sure you are alright?”
The words are clear, without any doubt or hesitation behind them. He wants to reply. Something like, “Yep, of course~” Something to truly convince Yi Sang that there’s absolutely, definitely, nothing wrong.
Hong Lu smiles. He continues walking on.
He pretends not to notice Yi Sang’s lingering gaze.
———
Hong Lu finds the sea to be an interesting experience overall. He never knew sea adventures could be so exciting.
In the midday sun, the sea is a bright blue, stretching out to the edges of his vision. Hong Lu gazes beyond the bus-boat, leaning on the edge. He knows how easily the waters can turn hostile, but the memory seems distant now — chased away by the salty breeze. He basks in the calm silence, finding a sense of peace in the gentle sway of the bus-boat.
Although…he remembers someone who wouldn’t find much peace in the bobbing waves.
As if on cue, footsteps sound behind him. A figure settles to his right. Even before he turns, Hong Lu is already smiling.
“Oh~ Look who's joined me today!”
“You looked quite lonely here,” Yi Sang starts with. “Would you perhaps…mind some company?”
After being confined to his cabin the first few weeks (presumably sea sick), Yi Sang seems to have gotten used to the nausea — albeit, not fully. Hong Lu can still see a bit of paleness in his complexion, though that could just be from the worse diet. There aren't many good food options out at sea, after all.
“Nope. Feel free to join~” he replies.
Yi Sang nods, and lets the conversation lapse back into silence. Hong Lu doesn’t mind it, really. He appreciates the serenity that comes with Yi Sang’s presence. He feels as if he were a child again; gazing out into the city’s brilliant lights alongside his friends.
Happy.
“Hong Lu,” Yi Sang says. “Have you ever found yourself out on the waters before?”
“Hm no, not really,” he hums. “Well, there was a lake in my family’s garden. I remember I used to play around there, with—with others.”
Yi Sang nods, beckoning him to speak further.
“Ah, well…actually, I most remember the cherry blossom trees surrounding it. The petals floated down, and I always loved watching them.”
He swallows, and looks back to the endless sea. “…My friend always gathered the fallen petals in a pile. She said that I shouldn’t ever scatter them.”
“Did you ever scatter them?” Yi Sang asks.
After a moment, he shakes his head. “No…I buried them.”
He hopes the sound of the waves drown out his words. He’s still sure that Yi Sang has heard them, though.
‘Ah…what am I even saying,’ he wonders.
“You know,” Hong Lu changes the subject. “You’re very nice to talk to.”
It seems that is enough to steer Yi Sang’s mind away from their previous topic.
“Oh.” With a few confused blinks, Yi Sang asks, “Does this mean that you…wish to speak with me further?”
Just to see the man beside him descend into a panic, he draws out his words. “Hm well, what do you think?”
“I-I—“ Yi Sang stutters.
“—Just kidding~” he interrupts. “I don’t think I’d ever grow tired of talking to you.”
Hong Lu laughs as Yi Sang sighs. Everything feels a bit surreal in a way, as if they were only just friends together on a vacation. Talking casually, laughing on a nice boat. A bus-boat.
“...I as well,” Yi Sang replies.
———
Inside of the kezhan, Hong Lu lingers at the back entrance, and gazes out the window. Even after the daily announced close of business, he can’t allow himself to rest just yet. Arriving back at H-Corp…it inevitably brings up memories.
The scenery outside is familiar. It reminds him of when he used to people-watch from inside of his home. Unchanging, they were. Even as the places below restructured, and ruined many, many lives.
Above it all, he remained.
Right now, he longs for Yi Sang’s presence. Would it be too hopeful, to wish that he’d come up beside him? That familiar dark eyes would meet his, and they could converse into eventual, comforting silence?
Would it be too much, to hope for a hand, for someone to tell him it was alright? Would it be too much, too greedy, to long for a warm embrace?
Perhaps yes.
When footsteps echo towards him, Hong Lu wants to trick himself into thinking it’s who he wished for. Yet…he can recognize that the footsteps aren’t Yi Sang’s, of course.
<What are you doing here?> Dante asks.
Hong Lu resigns himself.
———
“I worry for Heathcliff,” Yi Sang confesses. “He did not seem alright, especially after the rooftop.”
Inside Hong Lu’s room, they chat over tea. It’s only been a day or so since the sinners failed to retrieve the Golden Bough at Wuthering Heights — and the excitement has not worn off completely yet.
“Hm,” he hums, pondering. “I think he’ll be alright. My memories are a bit hazy, but I remember the determination in his voice. I believe whatever happened…” He takes another sip. “...He hasn’t given up.”
“Besides, don’t you think it’s inspiring?” Hong Lu asks. “I never thought Heathcliff could have such a passionate declaration of love~”
“Mm,” Yi Sang nods. “It seems as if…each of our fellows will have their turn for their stories as our journey goes on.” Taking a sip of his tea, he continues. “Are you anticipating your own turn, soon?”
“Well~ I suppose. It will probably come eventually, right?” Hong Lu replies. “Either way, I don’t really care. What’s done is done, right?”
Yi Sang lowers his gaze.
“...When that time comes, please don’t hesitate to…reach out,” he says.
To deny Yi Sang would be a betrayal. Hong Lu accepts this fact, and nods.
“Of course,” he lies.
Yi Sang, of course, shoots him a soft smile.
———
In the end, he definitely hesitates to reach out.
In fact, there would have been absolutely no reaching out, if not for the Manager. Hong Lu should thank Dante, when everything is over. Until the chaos has subsided though…he will still smile happily.
“Yi Sang,” he says, moving to the middle of the group. They’re still moving around, aiming for Xichun to fully attain the seat of Family Hierarch. Hong Lu has no doubt they’ll succeed. “Hold my hand?” he asks.
It’s a childish request, but it seems pointless to hesitate now. Those pleas for someone to hold him — to say everything was alright — they come back to the forefront of his mind. Since he’s resolved to go on, to keep experiencing things, why hesitate?
Yi Sang's eyes widen. But soon, a hand comes down to grasp Hong Lu’s own.
“Are you alright now?” Yi Sang whispers.
“Yep~” he chirps.
“...Good,” Yi Sang nods.
———
Just before noon, he takes Yi Sang to the lake.
Cherry blossom trees are abundant, and the gentle breeze makes petals dance about. A few of them even catch in Yi Sang’s hair, and by prediction, a bunch more are caught in his own hair. Still, Hong Lu prioritizes taking Yi Sang to the side, to what he truly wanted to show the man.
“It’s here,” Hong Lu says.
At the base of a certain tree, he crouches down and begins to dig. He doesn’t need to dig for long, as there’s only so far down a child can dig. He half expects the petals to be gone — absorbed back into the dirt somehow. But somehow…
A pressed pile of pink petals is unearthed, now gathered in his palms. Besides some dirt stuck to them, they look just as how he remembers them.
Yi Sang crouches down next to him. He watches as Hong Lu examines a singular petal, bringing it up to the sun.
“Those…are the ones from your memory, yes?” he asks.
“Mhm,” Hong Lu nods. “Honestly, I didn’t really imagine that they’d still be here.”
With a hum, Yi Sang replies, “We are fortunate then, to have them still here.” After a brief pause, he asks another question. “Do you require my assistance?”
“Ah,” Hong Lu smiles. “So you’ve already guessed my plan, hm?”
Yi Sang simply nods.
“Well…how about you take the other half of the pile for me? We can scatter them together,” he says.
They do just that. It takes a minute to gather all the petals, but the two of them end up with the split pile soon enough. Hong Lu waits for a breeze to come by, and tosses them — Yi Sang following suit.
Some petals simply float down to the lake, where it will presumably be swept by the flowing waters. Hong Lu is sure Lin Daiyu would scold him for that.
Some petals fall a bit farther, where they now lay to be gathered in another pile some day.
Some petals don’t even move past the two of them, a few strays caught in their hair and clothes. Hong Lu reaches up to brush some from Yi Sang’s hair.
Some petals fly beyond, fully taken by the breeze. Hong Lu watches as one singular petal flies beyond the garden walls.
One day, he’s sure that they’ll all return home. But not now, at least.
“...Yi Sang,” Hong Lu says, “Next time we visit Daguanyuan, we should gather some petals together.”
“Of course,” Yi Sang smiles.