Chapter Text
The morning had been a complete blur.
There was only moment Ben’s mind could manage to process played on a loop, over and over, seemingly just to torment him.
The moment he collapsed, onsite staff rushed to assist, one beginning chest compressions while another checked for breathing. Blue-gloved EMTs equip with a AED and supply bags quickly arrived and took over for the staffers. All those moments melded together in one, long, horrendous blur scored by his pleads and cries to his dad to hear his voice. The only moment that stuck out, the only phrase, came after an EMT requested a pulse check after completing a round of CPR.
“Nothing yet.”
And soon after, Ben was physically pulled away from the scene by D.C. guards. And as he was escorted-dragged- away by the men, the loop began.
Nothing yet. Nothing yet. Nothing yet. Nothing yet.
His sister had found him hunched over on his bed, after which he explained what happened.
“Is he… okay?” Michaela asked with a hesitation.
“I don’t know.” Was all Ben could conclude. Nothing yet. “I… don’t think so. I had a Calling just before you came. A river. Actually, technically, a stream. It was a forest, I think? There were… leaves everywhere. Red and gold and—”
“Ben.” She placed a hand on his leg. “You need to go.”
“I’m not sure I’m in the right headspace to solve a Calling.”
“No, the Calling is your ticket out of here.” She explained. “But once you’re out, you need to find Dad and be with him.”
Ben sniffed. Nothing… yet.
“I’ll talk to Zimmer.” He said reluctantly.
Michaela draped her arms around her brother’s, squeezing him. “Good.”
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“You look thin, beta.” Saanvi’s mother sighed. “Have you been eating well?”
“Yes.” She replied gently. “I promise.”
“Does she not look thin, Mohan?” Her mother said, to which her father placed his hand on top of his.
“Their meals are scheduled, jaanu.” Her father told her. “She’s not working through lunch here.”
The conversation then began its usual lull. Before the D.C., their choice topic of discussion was always work. But that was strictly classified now so, once pleasantries and small updates were exchanged, Saanvi and her parents didn’t have much to talk about. Besides how thin or heavy Saanvi was looking, of course. Nevertheless, she was thankful they visited.
“How are your friends in there?” Her father asked, which came as a surprise. She’d only mentioned the Stones once or twice at all to them. “Ben and his sister.”
“Yeah, Michaela. They’re both okay, I think. I’m mostly in the lab so I don’t see them much.”
Her father chuckled. “I’m beginning to think you’d say the same about us if these meetings weren’t scheduled.”
Saanvi frowned. “Dad.”
“There’s a reason that all we have to talk about is work,” He began. “And I’m not blaming you for that, we could’ve checked in with you more while you were… out here, but inside these walls or out, your work was and is always who you are.”
“Is that… bad?” Her voice lowered and softened.
“I don’t know, beta, I only see you during these visits, so I don’t know how it affects you. You trust that Ben, don’t you? Maybe that’s something you can talk to him about.”
That would prove difficult. According to Michaela, Ben had gone off to solve a Calling.
“I don’t think he’ll be back for a while.” She had said, but by now Saanvi had learned how to read the Stones well. With a quick look, she’d deduced that “for a while” meant “won’t be back this time”. The first time Ben and Mick broke out, she was under the assumption that she’d cover for them to give them as long a head-start as possible, but ultimately they wouldn’t be back. Which was fine, at first. She planned to work longer hours in the lab to hopefully have something new to bring to the fight against the Death Date. It was only later in the day, when she was holed up in the lab, that it occurred to her that them not coming back means she may never see them again. Which didn’t sit right with her at all, especially because of her last interaction with him.
Ben had to physically usher Saanvi out of the lab around one A.M., ignoring Saanvi’s frequent contests until she begrudgingly locked the lab and agreed to a round of Uno in Ben’s room.
They sat on opposite sides of Ben’s bed, and halfway into the game Ben dropped a color changing card, with a smile on his face. “Red.” He announced.
Saanvi made a face, then dropped a red 7. “When you dragged me out of the lab, I thought it was for something important.”
“I know this is shocking coming from me,” he dropped a yellow 7, “but downtime is important too.”
When Saanvi didn’t respond, instead opting to study her cards to plan her next move, Ben added, “I also just like spending time with you.”
At his last comment, her mind wandered from her cards but her eyes remained fixed. He said it like a fact, a fact she should know. And she did, but she thought he was more interested working with her than… spending time with her. She could feel that stupid infatuation trying to boil to the surface, which was supposed to be gone a long time ago. Except for when he kissed her. And when their eyes met at Mick and Zeke’s anniversary party when she was talking about ‘finding her person’. And when he jumped into the ocean to save her. But aside from those few, minor moments, it should’ve been gone. It needed to be gone.
“Your move.” Ben said, taking her out of her thoughts and, after noticing the color changed, she haphazardly tossed a yellow 8 into the pile.
“I like spending time with you too, Ben.” She heard herself saying. It was involuntary. Instead, it was a result of her heart beating faster when she met his eyes, causing her mind to send a signal to her mouth to form the words that she spoke. She was more than just a logical person. She was made of logic. But every so often, she'd meet Ben's eyes a moment too long and he made her feel like she was absolutely, completely soaring.
After a second too long of eye contact Saanvi swore she saw something change in his gaze before Saanvi quickly shifted her eyes back her cards.
“Don’t try to distract me now.” Saanvi playfully warned. “I wouldn’t dare.” Ben replied. But he lied.
She could still feel his eyes on her.
When Saanvi told Mick about her parents’ visit later that day over some tea, Michaela laughed when Saanvi asked her if she thought she was a workaholic.
“Okay, that might of been an obvious answer.”
When Mick’s laughter subsided, she took a swig of tea before saying, “No, no, not in the way you’d think.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I would associate a workaholic with someone addicted to work. Like, they love what they do or really want to do it without any restraint, and I don’t entirely think that’s you. I mean, you’re working around the clock, but from my view it seems less because you love the work and more because it proves a good distraction.”
Saanvi considered this notion: whether she was addicted to the work, the distraction, or a bit of both. She concluded it didn’t entirely matter to her anyway, until Mick spoke again.
“I never asked, what made you want to go into the medical field in the first place?”
“Fear of dishonoring my parents.”
Mick chuckled at that, but all Saanvi could provide was a sad smile. “But it wasn’t entirely decided for me. I knew I wanted to help people, just not necessarily like this.” She added, “I actually wanted to be a teacher.”
“I think that's pretty honorable.”
“Hm.” She stared into her tea for a moment, suddenly remembering how good some of her mother’s chai sounded right about now.
“They didn’t agree. It didn’t fit into the lawyer-doctor-engineer trifecta, so I got nudged pretty firmly to pick one of those.”
“But it worked out?”
Saanvi took a beat to consider, then said, “Since we got here, When I can’t sleep, I play this game where I pick a crossroads moment in my life, and try to imagine what would’ve happened if I’d picked left instead of right. It plays in my head like a movie, and gives me something to distract my mind so I can fall back asleep. One time I thought about the teacher route. I was Miss Bahl, fourth grade science teacher. I had a tie dye badge and a quaint studio apartment in Queens. It was nice.”
“But?”
“But… I wouldn’t have been on 828 if I wasn’t a doctor. And that flight, that isn’t just a moment in my life. It’s kind of the moment. Not just because of, you know, all of this. But taking that trip was the first time I’d done something for myself and…” Saanvi sniffed, finishing that sentence before it went on for too long.
“Point being, it wasn’t worth it. Maybe you’re right about the distraction thing, but honestly… I’d rather be working than wallowing.”