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7 years into the industry, Jimin wanted out. He no longer wanted to be a part of the greatest thing in his life anymore—Bangtan.
When Jimin first proposed his desire to quit, his chairman had one of the most shocking expression on his face. He had asked Jimin to give him reasons, or explanation, or anything at all to comprehend. Jimin had said only one sentence: I don't think Bangtan is right for me anymore.
When Jimin broke the news to his team members—his friends and brothers—they didn't believe him. They had thought he was pulling a prank, perhaps a hidden camera for someone's birthday. But Jimin wasn't joking. And he told them again the next day, when they were preparing to attend a year-end show. They all stopped whatever they were doing and turned to Jimin.
"Come again?" Hoseok had asked. "You said you're leaving. Did I misheard it?"
"No. You heard it right."
"What's going on?" Namjoon had stepped up to the middle of the room. His expression was unreadable. The make-up artists as well as their coordi noona had to put down their stuffs and hurriedly exited the room. Only the 7 boys had remained. "What is the problem?" Namjoon asked again.
"There is no problem. I am leaving Bangtan."
"You just contradicted yourself." Taehyung had said, his husky voice sounded impeded. "Is there a problem and you're leaving, or is there no problem and you're not leaving?"
"I am leaving Bangtan," Jimin repeated with strangely calm face. "I have no problem with any of you. I just want to quit being idol."
"You can't quit being idol, that's like, you. You can't quit being you!"
"Taehyung," Namjoon turned to him. "Can we please not start shouting?"
"But, Hyung, you listen to him!"
"Taehyung."
Yoongi sighed. It's not like they have never fought before. 7 boys, living under the same roof for 7 years, sharing the same dream for 7 years, dancing the same songs on the same stages together for 7—fights are inevitable. But fight like this, fight that starts with one member saying he's leaving—it had never happened before.
Yoongi saw Jin on the corner of his eyes. Jin was frowning at Jimin, trying to squint closer and see if the truth could be detected by naked eyes. But Jimin, Yoongi saw Jimin too, and he did seem pretty serious about what he had said. He did look like someone who could not wait to walk out of this team.
"Jimin," Namjoon—the very stern yet gentle leader of theirs, the boy who wasn't too young nor old in the team, the boy who would rather be stressed and burdened the blames alone than to have any of the boys worry—called. "Jimin, what is it?"
"There's nothing, hyung. I have no excuse. I just want out."
Out. The way Jimin had said it. It was as though being in was killing him. As though being with them, running with them toward the same goal, was killing him. Physically. Mentally. Who knew. Yoongi sighed again and grabbed a chair. He pulled it quietly so he could still see everything when he sat down. Now he saw Jungkook.
The ever-so-loving youngest member of the team. Jungkook had grown the most among all 7 of them. Because Jungkook was only 16 when he stood under the spotlight in front of thousands of fans, he wasn't quite ready for the mayhem Jimin was bringing. Jungkook was on the couch, staring up at Jimin and Namjoon. He had looked the closest to yelling, excluded Taehyung who had already yelled a couple times.
"Can you guys please try to understand me and not make a fuss?" Jimin sounded pleading.
"How do you expect us to understand when you don't even give us a damn thing to understand about?" Namjoon's tone had changed. He didn't sound gentle anymore. "I am trying to see where you're coming from but you just won't open up. What are we supposed to do? Let you walk out of the team just like that? Are we strangers?"
Jimin shut his eye. "Why are you playing the sentimental card?"
Yoongi could pinpointed the exact moment everybody's blue clouds vanished and were replaced by the storm. The sweet and caring Jimin had just changed his tone of voice too and it was nothing nice.
"I tried to keep this amicable but you guys are making it so hard. What's wrong with me wanting out? Our contract is ending soon, I simply don't want to continue."
"So you want a solo?" Namjoon had sounded hopeful, then. But it was short-lived. "Is this it? Are you doing this because the company hasn't granted your wish to have a solo?"
Jimin's face changed for a brief second that none other than Yoongi had catch on.
"No."
"Then what is it?!" Namjoon had lost it and Jin had stepped up.
"We're recording soon," he had said. "Let's try to pull this off without trying to kill one another."
"I agree with hyung," Yoongi had said, finally. He looked at Jimin and pointed his finger in a brotherly way. "We're talking after this."
Jimin had simply nodded.
-
The night of the same day, Jimin sat down with the boy, and each of them ended up pouring their heart out about all the problems they had encountered together through the past years. Taehyung had said he didn't feel okay not being taken seriously, but it wasn't such big of a deal so he had never expressed it. Jungkook had said he was happy with the way things were, and he had assumed Jimin would be too. Jin had a lot of problems, but because they were more from the company than the boys, he simply shook his head when it was his turn. Namjoon had said a lot of things, some of which about the boys and their mischievous behaviors, others about how he wished he could have done and said some things differently to them. Hoseok and Yoongi were saying how being with the boys changed their perspectives of life, and they reminisced about the fun activities they had together while being abroad for promotions.
Jimin listened and tried to memorize every word.
"Jimin?" Jin had called. "Your turn."
Jimin took a deep breath as millions things flooded his mind. He didn't know which one to start with. He could feel the boys's eyes on him, waiting.
"First of all," he cleared his throat. "I love you guys. If I was to choose, I would still choose you guys again. I'm sad that I disappoint you with my decision, but just like choosing you guys, I would still decide on this." He looked at the boys and they all seemed very calm. "I appreciate the past 7 years of experiences and wonderful memories. 9 years if we count the pre-debut time too. You guys take care of me in the way that it helps me not to miss my family too much. I wish only the best for Bangtan's future works."
Namjoon nodded. "I talked to our chairman. Actually, we all did this afternoon. He said you are determined so we agreed it's best to respect your decision."
"Thank you, hyung. Thanks, guys."
Namjoon added. "We're leaving, too."
Jimin hesitated a little, "Eh?"
"Our contracts will end in the same month. We decide not to go on without you." Jin said.
"Why not? You guys-" a lump in his throat, Jimin swallowed back the tears. "You can't do that. Bangtan- People love and look up to Bangtan. You can't just abandon it."
"But you can?" Taehyung snapped. "You're saying we are to stay and take the fall while you get away without a care?"
"I do care! I care about all of you that's why I'm doing this. I can't-" Jimin could barely stop himself in time. He clenched his hand into a fist and pressed it to his lips. "You can't abandon Bangtan." He started again, this time more collected. "Hyung?"
Namjoon pulled out his phone and searched for something. He smiled softly when he found it, and he gave the phone for Jimin to see. In the video, Jimin had red lipstick smeared all over his lips, and he was crying. They were in an elevator and the boys were overwhelmed with emotions.
"Our Jimin, here in Bangtan... Bangtan can't be without Jimin. We can't get 1st place without Jimin. I'm really grateful." Namjoon in the video had said. Jimin remembered this all too well. It was their second win for I Need U. He remembered working his butt off for this comeback, remembered being anxious over the drastic concept change. When their group appeared on the monitor as the winner, Jimin was lost for words. The fans had love it, their hard work and dedication was loved and appreciated. They got the first place. He was so excited thinking that if the fans loved I Need U, they would also love what the boys had planned to go for next. He remembered he couldn't wait to promote Run, but he didn't remember asking for the start of the end of his career when he first had discovered a cruel problem.
He was diagnosed with Osteomyelitis when he decided to go for a check up because he often felt nausea and his body temperature was constantly high, as well the pain in his hips and shins that became most unbearable when he performed the goodbye stage for Run. Apparently, the bone in his right leg was infected. He couldn't pinpoint how, and the doctor had said it could be infected just recently due to injury or had been for a long time and just started to show the symptoms now. The doctor had also said he needed to stop performing and get immediate treatment if he wanted to still be able to walk. Jimin had told no one. And when the chairman had called and told him that he could have a solo album after ending In The Mood For love Part 2 promotion, Jimin had told him to just give it Jungkook first. And then when it was time the chairman promised to debut Jimin as the second round, Jimin had given the chance to Jungkook again. So Jungkook had ended up with 2 solo albums whereas Jimin had none. The boys didn't know the truth so they had assumed things.
Jimin didn't realized since when the video had ended. He gave the phone back to Namjoon. "Hyung,"
"We respect your decision, Jimin. Now I hope you respect ours."
"Do you not think about the fans at all?"
"Do you?"
"Taehyung." Namjoon warned without turning away from Jimin. "Of course I do. We have 3 to 4 months. I want us to spend this time and work together to make something as a farewell present to our ARMYs. The boys already agree to it, now what do you say?"
Jimin felt his chest burn at the thought of everything.
"What can I say, hyung? I want to."
-
About a month later, Namjoon had them all sit together and listen to a track he had completed. Normally he would compose many tracks just to be safe, but this time he was so sure what he wanted, and the boys immediately loved it as well.
They started working on the lyrics, and the rap verses, and melody, and background, harmonization and ad lib, et al. The song was completed in 2 days, to everyone's surprise. Their teamwork had never been smoother. Hoseok thought it was because this was the last time. Everything tended to go smoothly for the last time, because it was the time people were going to remember about the most.
The song was playing as a one last check-up, and when it ended everyone was left in awe. Even the staffs who were assisting in the studio were amused and they had to clap.
"Young Forever," Namjoon said. "That's the title."
"I love it," Yoongi nodded. "No matter what happened, fans would remember us as young men who thrive to bring them only the best performances. The time they hear this song is the last time they see Bangtan. For them, we stay young forever."
"Thank you, hyung, for getting it." Namjoon saved the song and emailed it to the music team of the company, not forgetting to attach Yoongi's brief explanation. "We'll start shooting the MV once the styling team and staffs get everything ready."
Normally they would ask about the concept, complaining and compromising for a shared agreement. But this time it wasn't normal, so they all just nodded.
-
On a Thursday, 2 weeks before the final day, Namjoon had taken to the fan cafe and informed the fans about what was happening. After he posted, he and the boys turned off all electronic gadgets to avoid seeing the responses. Only Jimin didn't, instead he tried to read as many comments about the situation as possible. All the fans were appalled to learn about the disband, and they were very sad and disappointed. Every reaction was justifiable until Jimin saw the cutting and threatening bits. He got off the internet and spent his remaining time thinking about the MV shooting tomorrow.
-
After wrapping the running scene for Forever Young MV, Jimin broke down and everybody just let him. They had thought the realization of parting way finally sank into him—and in a way, they were right. But they didn't know that another part that made him weep was the gruesome physical pain.
Jungkook only approached him after about 15 minutes later, handing him a bottle of water and some tissue. Jimin accepted it, gratefully, but he had not said it out. Jungkook waited for a moment before he went back to where the other boys were. Jimin continued sitting there, collecting the moments and embedding them into his long term memory. He wanted to remember everything. He wanted to be able to recall back to this day when times had gone by years later. He wanted to never forget this feeling.
Jungkook came back.
"I don't understand," he told Jimin. "I thought I knew everything there was to know about basic human life, but clearly I must have missed something."
"What is it?" Jimin was actually surprised that Jungkook came to him for his problem. He didn't expect anyone to come to him anymore.
"They say if you love someone, you'll let them go. I don't understand that logic."
Jimin went stiff. Jungkook continued.
"If we love someone, don't we need to work hard to be with them? Why do we let them go? Why do everybody let you go so easily?"
"Because, Jungkook ah, for most people, to love someone is to see the person happy. Even if that happiness doesn't include you anymore."
"So you just give up? Don't you fight for the person? What if what the person wants isn't something he said? What if he's hiding something?"
Jimin told himself not to look at Jungkook's eyes. So he kept his gaze fixed to the ground.
"Then you just have to let the person live with the decision he had chosen."
The microphone beeped and the director's voice could be heard.
"Everyone, gather around. This scene we'll…"
Jimin blinked back his tears and stood up. He was the second to last to get to where the director was. Jungkook was last.
-
The boys spent their last day together waiting for the release of the MV. Jimin resorted to the practice room where no one was bother to occupy anymore.
He sat down. He started humming along to Young Forever melody, the last song as a team.
"Forever," a voice said, and then Namjoon appeared through the door. "We are young."
"Can't believe this is the last day."
"This is our last so many things."
Namjoon sat down besides Jimin. The last day being the leader, the last day being the main vocalist, the last time being allowed into the practice room, the last day being apart of the company, the last day being apart of Bangtan. The last conversation. Jimin had planned to never meet them again. He didn't want anyone to know about him after today.
"We can still change this, you know. You can stay. With us."
"I made up my mind, hyung. But you and the others, you guys don't have to do this."
"I had meant everything I said on the second I Need U win."
"Hyung,"
"It's okay, Jimin. I'm not trying to make you feel bad. The other boys have done that enough."
"I'm so sorry,"
"Jimin," Namjoon didn't look at the younger boy. "Promise me one thing."
"Hyung, please."
Namjoon tried to hold back his tears. Years of spending every single day with one another, it's impossible to claim they don't love each other like family—or even more.
"Promise to eat on time and stop dieting. You are too skinny."
"Hyung-"
"And don't stay up too late checking Twitter. It's not going anywhere so instead, check it after you wake up."
Jimin bit down his word as he listened to his leader. His leader.
"And don't push yourself too hard, whatever you're going to do next. Don't get hurt, and don't forget us."
Jimin kept his head low as his tears blurred his eyes. "Yeah, sure." His voice shook too noticeably. Namjoon knew he was crying so he got up first.
"Keep in touch, Jimin."
Jimin nodded but Namjoon didn't get to see it because he quickly walked out of the room to hide his own tears. Outside, he found Yoongi sobbing into his palms. He placed his arm around the older boy and together they walked outside.
-
Forever Young was the most emotional song for ARMYs. It concluded the In the Mood For Love storyline, and also concluded Bangtan as a team. The fans wanted to give the boys back for their effort to spoil them even until the end, so they started using hashtag till Forever Bangtan became a worldwide trending topic. Jimin saw it, and he had spent long hours crying to himself.
-
1 year later
Bangtan's could-have-been 8th anniversary
Jungkook doesn't know what he should do when he sees Jimin. Should he say he just passes by and decides to drop in? Should he make up some stupid lies? Or should he just admit he miss his hyung and want to see how he is doing?
Jungkook nods to himself, finally reaching a good decision. He reaches to open the car door but his hand comes to a stop when he spots a familiar face by the fence. Jungkook smiles, but then his smile fades, and then the realization sinks it and he covers his mouth with a horrified expression on his face. Jimin is sitting in a wheelchair.
He has no right leg.