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Amelia had received oatmeal at breakfast. Oatmeal was a weekday meal, one that was keeping her from wasting away. On weekends, he would come to talk to her and bring scones that would taste like ash. If she was feeling reasonable, she would stare at his bushy eyebrows, attempt to eat the lumps of coal, and respond to some small talk. If she was feeling angry, she would throw the scones and scream at him until he left or slapped her before leaving.
She wished that she could be hunched over a desk trying to keep up the frantic messages with the rest of Aide-De-Camps or be in Philadelphia delivering messages to spies attempting to gain information on the Loyalist’s plans. Instead, Amelia was staring at the crack in the wall in the prison underneath St James’s Palace.
Is a spoon strong enough to dig through stone? I guess I've got nothing better to do then try and find out. At least on the ship here there were other people in my cell or windows, I had something to do then... and people to talk to. I wonder what the punishment would be for using my oatmeal spoon to widen the crack. Regardless of the pain, I would have company besides my thoughts. She was dragged out of her thoughts by the sound of boots hitting the stone floor.
Huh. He didn’t normally come to see her on weekdays. He always kept to a schedule, unless something… happened with her people.
If it was detrimental to him, all gestures of etiquette disappeared, and he would yell while Amelia smiled. If it was good for him, he would come to gloat while she refused to look anywhere near him. Arthur gloated a lot on the trip across the ocean.
Arthur unlocked her cage and walked in. Amelia kept staring at the wall, he deserves nothing from her, and she will give him nothing. His eyes glared at the back of her head.
“ Hello , Arthur,” Amelia drawled with a southern twang that always annoyed him with its dropped consonants and contractions.
“I have suppressed your childish rebellion, your military leaders are languishing in my jails, and you, of course, are back under my control. Now show me the proper respect as my position requires, darling daughter, or you shall face the consequences.”
Amelia sneered, “Why would I show respect to a man that slaughters my people and ignores their God given rights? Besides, I have nothing left for you to take. As you said, my revolution against your tyranny has been destroyed.”
“If you give me the respect I deserve, I’ll permit you to see your precious imposter before he is executed” Arthur said while Amelia’s head whipped around and stared at him with wide eyes.
“Yes, we’ve captured the mighty General Washington. However, if you continue to call my person by that callus address, you will not see him and his execution shall be by sword instead of hanging” Arthur commanded.
He continued, “Perhaps His Majesty will even grant me the opportunity to use Excalibur on this momentous occasion”
“Sometimes I abhor you” Amelia paused and then pushed down her pride and said, “my lord Father”. Even if she had to give in, she could keep emotional distance.
Maybe if she concedes to him, one day she will have the circumstances to escape but she doubted it.
I would be like Carthage; Dido had only lived for two years after her capture by Rome. Once you gain a taste of freedom, you can never live under someone else’s control ever again.
Arthur smiled with something close to malice and walked closer to her bed, “Better. However, I would prefer it if you would call me something less formal and if you would not lie. It is unladylike. Speaking of, the next time I visit you I shall bring a copy of the Lord’s Book and perhaps you would enjoy reading about the commandments. What was the 5th one again?”
Amelia closed her eyes for a second to remind herself of the stakes before opening them and said, “Honor thy Mother and Father.”
“You may wish to work on following the Lord’s word, Poppet, as I am not feeling very honored right now.” He said before sitting down and starting to card his fingers through her hair.
The pair sat in silence for twenty minutes. Amelia felt sicker by the second as she leaned towards him. She could almost feel the blood of her people on his hands as he petted her hair just like she was a new colony who didn’t even know the alphabet. She was trying her best not to flinch every time his hand hit the nape of her neck even as she yearned for the feeling of touch. She hadn’t seen anyone in days and, for the past 2 months, only felt the warmth of another person when being slapped or restrained.
When she felt his palm rest on the back of her neck, she could almost recall the sensation of that noose in Salem. She couldn’t take it anymore. She could feel the pain of one of her people dying at the hands of those blasted redcoats and her throat started to close up. Amelia started to breathe faster and she couldn’t sit next to this murderer anymore.
She couldn’t.
She wouldn’t!
Amelia stood up, leaving her captor with his hand in mid air and blurted out, “May I be left alone, my lord Father? I wish to pray for the King’s mercy upon my people”. She moved from the bed to the opposite side of the room so that she could pace while not being near the man who chained her and called it a righteous action.
“I suppose,” He sighed disdainfully. “But remember that, your prayers will likely have no effect. The King is only giving you a light punishment because he understands my love for you. Some of my previous rulers would demand you be hanged alongside the other traitors and then for you to be left in the deepest dungeon in the kingdom until the colony is completely under control.”
Anywhere he took me would be a cage just one of a gilded variety. At least the King’s punishment would have the dignity to be the same in appearance as it would be in reality. Then, I could feel pity for myself without guilt for said pity when I am treated significantly better than many of my colonists and leaders.
“You don’t love me, you just want to own me” Amelia unknowingly mumbled.
Arthur stormed over to Amelia and grabbed her arm, dragging her out of the cell. “I’ll have the King make you a duchess! You will become a symbol of everything your revolution was fighting against! Every month, your people will see news of you living in luxury while they live in poverty because of your rebellion!” he yelled as he stormed down the hall.
Amelia kept losing her footing as Arthur walked faster and faster. His hand was gripping her wrist so hard that she could feel her bones cracking. “STOP IT, STOP IT!” She screamed.
He did not stop. Arthur’s voice lowered in volume but increased in animosity. “Any remaining rebels will see you as a traitor who will betray them for material gain and no rebellion can succeed without the power of a personification! Just as I am the Duke of London, you shall be the Duchess of Boston!”
“You should have left me in the woods!” Amelia wailed, clawing at his fingers. “One day, the sun will set on your glorious empire while I gain the ability to touch the very stars!”
Arthur turned abruptly, walked into a cell, let go of Amelia’s wrist and laughed while she fell to the ground, crying softly and clutching her shattered wrist. “Oh my foolish child, your head's in the clouds again.” He crooned. “You are correct, I should have left you in the woods. You are nothing, your country is nothing. You have been nothing but a burden and expense. Every other New World colony brought gold, silver, exotic products, even your brother had his beavers. Not you though. You only had dirt and death. I had to fight against multiple king’s advisors to convince them that you are worth the effort and resources. But now I see you were not deserving of everything I have given to you”.
“If I’m such a burden, why don’t you wash your hands of me? Let me be free, let my people leave the British empire. We will never bother you again,” Amelia sobbed.
Arthur smiled with all his teeth as he said “Firstly, they are not your people, they are mine. They are British citizens. Besides, what kind of father would I be if I abandoned my only child? You just need to be disciplined and then you will go back to being my darling little girl”. Arthur stalked toward Amelia despite her shuffling to the back wall, crouched down, and hugged her so tight that she could feel her ribs protesting under the pressure. “You’ll be the most favored of all the colonies. If you just settle down and obey me, you can be a proper lady again with beautiful dresses and a life of luxury. Everything will go back to the way that it was. You can even see your brother again. He was very worried about you when you pulled that vanishing act”.
He pulled out his pocket watch and looked at the time, “Oh dear, I have to get to a meeting at Westminster. I’ll check on you in a few days. Maybe then, you will have thought about my proposal.”
Arthur let go and walked out of the cell, locking the heavy door. Amelia screamed, begging him to not leave her in this dark tiny room. He did not listen.
The room was completely dark after Arthur shut the door and Amelia was stuck. She tried to get off of the floor but even moving caused her wrist to feel like someone was poking it with a hot knife. Amelia knew that her arm would heal soon, she was young and even with her low energy from the failed revolution, she would be able to use her arm within the hour, but it still hurt. I hate this, she thought, I can’t even move, I’ll never be able to get out of this place! Amelia dragged herself along the floor with her hand on the wall until she found a corner to wedge herself in.
Father always told me that I was stuck somewhere, to find the most defensible spot in the room. I don’t know if I’m ever going to see him again. Amelia felt more tears start to slip down her face.
Arthur was being so nice and I did everything he said so that I could see Father and prevent him from more pain but then he dragged me into this room and said I’ll be given a title? What did I say that made him so angry? Amelia’s confusion continued to grow as her thoughts spiraled.
Will..will I still get to see Father or will I be forced to watch him die without saying sorry? And why did Arthur start going on about me being his only child and not wanting to abandon me? He has other colonies! She wipes the tears from her eyes before standing up, pushing her pain down in favor of anger.
“He was the one who left me alone for years on end with only the maids and that old dusty governess who always told me that I was an ungodly girl who was doomed to hell!”, Amelia screams before punching the wall. The wall gains a dent and cracks form around the concavity.
‘I was a godly girl, I knew all the commandments and could talk about all of the gospels! I…I..just wanted to play outside with the other children and ride horses like the Wampanoag taught me. Was that so wrong?’ She dug her fingers into her tied up hair, causing some strands to escape the bun, while she paced. ‘I don’t think it was wrong enough for those damned town people to hang me! And now, I’m stuck in this prison for just trying to do good by my people.’
Amelia accidently walked straight into the wall and felt her nose buckle under the pressure. “Damn it,” she yelled as her nose started to bleed. “Why am I doing everything wrong?”. She sat down and tore some strips of fabric off the hem of her dress. “Everything I do ends up being wrong. I always disappoint someone, no matter how hard I try or what I sacrifice!”
Amelia didn’t even want to cry. Do I even deserve to cry? Things could be so much worse! I’m not being tortured or violated. I’m just…alone. But every time I get close to someone they get hurt. Maybe I should be left alone. It was my selfish act that led to this. If I hadn’t tried for independence, my people wouldn’t be facing terrible conditions, Mattie wouldn’t have been forced to join this war, and I would be at home in Virginia waiting for Arthur’s next visit.
Maybe I should stop fighting and just listen to him. At least then I wouldn’t be alone. Amelia laid down and curled up into a ball.
1 week later
Arthur walked into the Queen’s parlor room while a guard ran in behind him before Charlotte waved the guard off. Arthur walked over to a coach and flopped on to it. He placed his hand over his eyes while saying, “Hello, Charlotte. Can you pass me Mary?”.
The Queen smiled at her nation. He always doted on her children especially when they were young enough for him to hold. If only his own daughter would just accept his affections. Then he would stop stealing her children. She walked to his couch and said fondly, “Of course, Arthur”.
“Children are so tiresome when they get close to adulthood!”. He sighed before getting up to pace around the center table. ”I wish Amelia was this young again! I wish they stayed this small forever”
Charlotte walked up to the man and put her hands on his shoulders. “You learn to enjoy the children becoming adults” She said before guiding him back to the couch. “I was the same way when George became a man. You just have to let them grow up a little more”.
“Any advice for dealing with rebellious children? She needs to understand that she is my daughter, my colony. Hopefully if she gets back to her old habits, those damned southerners will stop fighting. Just last week, a militia killed 5 soldiers” Arthur said as he ran his fingers through Mary’s hair. He was so gentle with the little princess.
“I don’t know much about young colonies but I know about children. She’s been here for what? 2 weeks?” Charlotte asked Arthur. He shrugged and she continued, “And I presume that you did not have any time to spend with her on the trip here. Maybe you should move her into your household, so that you could spend more time with her”. If he has to spend more time at home, minding his daughter, hopefully the people would settle down. And then his presence would calm down the foolish ideas of the colonists. Those Yankees need to understand that even if they managed to succeed in their rebellion, the y wouldn’t survive a month before succumbing to mob rule or invasion by the French or Spanish.
“Whenever I visit her, we end up arguing and I have to punish her for something. I don’t think spending time in close proximity is a good idea,” Arthur said defensively, holding Mary tighter while the child started to squirm.
“I’m not accusing you”. She said, holding her hands up, trying to calm him down before he hurts the little girl. She consoles him, “It’s just that…arguments take two participants. When you go to Amelia, stay silent and hug her. Let her scream and cry everything out. Us women do get hysterical sometimes.”
Arthur tilted his head to the side and his face went blank like he had never considered just holding his daughter when she was emotional. “Huh. Thank you for the advice.”
“You could also get her governess or a companion. A few of my Ladies in waiting have daughters that would help influence young Amelia into being a proper lady. And give her duties to fulfill, oftentimes girls like your daughter settle down when they have things to do. If you wish, she could join my household in our court activities”. Lord knows the girl needs some female attention that isn’t coming from the savages or camp followers.
“That would be very appreciated. I’m so happy that George married you”. He paused before saying “Speaking of marriage, your oldest, George, is not engaged. Perhaps we could marry him and Amelia for five or so years and she would give him a few children before tragically dying in childbirth? It would definitely force the colonies to stay attached.”
Charlotte smiled, “I’m happy that you are my country. Maybe we should wait for the girl to get settled into court life before we think about marriage. We could set up meetings between them. Could I have my child back?”. I don’t think I’ll let him hold Mary until after this conflict has settled down. I can’t let my baby, or any of my dears, be hurt by our country. If I need to sacrifice his daughter’s happiness to secure my children’s inheritance, I will do it
Arthur blushed before passing Mary back to her and stood up, saying, “Oh, sure. Sorry about that. I’ll see you later. I’ve got a daughter to visit.”
Meanwhile
It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault. It’s my fault.
They’re …dead and it’s my fault.
I’m sorry George. I’m sorry James. I’m sorry Alex. I’m sorry John. I’m sorry Ben. I’m sorry Sam. I’m sorry everyone. You risked everything for me and I was selfish and now all of you are dead or close enough.
They’re dead and it’s my fault. I was selfish and they died. They’re dead and it’s my fault. I was selfish and they died. They’re dead and it’s my fault. I was selfish and they died. They’re dead and it’s my fault. I was selfish and they died. They’re dead and it’s my fault. I was selfish and they died. They’re dead and it’s my fault. I was selfish and they died.
I never should have disobeyed. It’s all my fault. Everything is. If I had just listened to Arth-Father, everything would be fine. I should have better consoled my people after the proclamation of 1763. Or I could have talked to the Sons of Liberty before they went to the harbor and convinced them out of their actions. If I hadn’t been so fixated on what I thought I was entitled to, they wouldn’t be dead!
I...I need to show him respect. A good daughter doesn’t call her father by his Christian name. If I’m good, my people will not suffer as much.
I’m sorry Father. I’ll never disobey again, just don’t leave me alone or let me make any foolish choices! I was always just a stupid girl who didn’t understand. I am not meant for independence. Can someone, please, talk to me!
I can’t be alone. I can’t be alone. I can’t be alone. I can’t be alone. I can’t be alone. I can’t be alone. I can’t be alone. I can’t be alone. I can’t be alone. I can’t be alone. I can’t be alone. I can’t be alone. I can’t be alone. I can’t be alone.
Please don’t leave me here. I’ll be better! I promise!
I’ll be your proper daughter again Father!
Arthur walked into the prison below the palace and walked towards the cell at the end of the hallway. Maybe I shouldn’t have hurt her wrist and thrown her into this cell. She’s only a girl and they are so delicate. But she needs to know that there are consequences to her actions. Foolish child, saying that I don’t love her. Tch. Of course I love her, why else would I do all this instead of throwing her into a dark cage until her people settle down? Parenting is so hard! To teach her a lesson, she won’t be allowed to see the traitor before he is hanged.
He stood in front of the cell door, getting out a key from his pocket. Then he unlocked the door.
Light flooded into the cell and illuminated the girl lying on the floor with some sort of fabric under her head. Did she tear up her dress? Her hair was dirtier than the week prior and dried blood covered her neck. Amelia’s eyes were squeezed shut as she cringed away from the light.
Arthur knew that he was supposed to not talk to his daughter but her face was red and stained with tear marks. He needed to comfort her and he wouldn’t stop until she accepted it this time.
“Oh, my darling. I’m here now. Everything will be fine”. He kneeled down next to his girl and hugged her. He waited for the child to resist his comfort but…she didn’t. Amelia wrapped her arms around him, holding his torso like he would disappear if she didn’t hold on tight enough.
Amelia sobbed, “I’m sorry Father, it’s all my fault! I’ll never disobey you again. Just don’t leave me alone!”
Oh, the poor girl just needed some comfort. I should have asked Charlotte before we ever fought!
“Oh, poppet! You are forgiven. I knew it was the influence of those wretched rebels. You probably were treated so terribly by them. You won’t have to see them ever again, I promise”. My baby would have never tried to go against my word if it wasn’t for that horrid man.
Arthur held his daughter, murmuring words of comfort until she stopped crying.
Once Amelia calmed down enough to breathe, she said, hiccupping, “I know that I did something wrong, but can I still see Fath-Washington before the execution?”
“Oh no. I understand that this is a trying time but did you not hear what I previously said? You won’t see any of the rebels unless it is to watch them hang. The only way that you can become a good colony again is to be kept away from bad influences. I should have monitored your correspondences more to keep you away from those sorts when I knew unrest was starting and that’s on me. I will do better” He announced with a smile.
Amelia’s eyes flashed with anger for a moment before quickly dropping her head and saying, “Yes Father”.