Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"窓の外は星屑の町 (Outside the window there's a city made of stardust.)
もうTOWERの明かりも消える頃さ (The lights of the towers have gone out already.)
DANCE忘れられない過去をめぐるSCENE (To look back to our unforgetable past...)
Ride on, ride on, ride on, ride on time!"

"Forget it!" Yasusada gives his short but definite answer while taking off the headphones after listening to the song only for a few seconds.

"Oh come oooon!!!" his classmate shouts out disappointedly and tilts even more with his chair, hands clinging to the backrest in front of him. As always, Urashima's voice is way too loud to be appropriate for a classroom. Despite his intense reaction, he's not really surprised about his friend's refusal. He might not be the smartest in school but his knowledge of human nature is impressive and he knows his monotonous friend long enough to predict his answers quite easily. He wouldn't be Urashima Kousetsu if he'd give up so easily. How do you say? It's not over until the fat lady sings!

"It's only one day. You could do me a favor for only ONE day!" He tries again and rubs his index finger into Yasusada's face so that the other moves backwards a little and narrows his brows, looking slightly annoyed. It's too early for this amount of enthusiasm.

"I won't go to a BOY BAND concert." Yasusada says, and the emphasis on the word 'boy band' makes it sound as if he's worried about getting fleas or something like that. He turns away, and his bluish dark hair, tied up into a messy ponytail, falls across his shoulder. "Apart from that, I'm doing you favour basically every day by letting you copy my homework. What do you ever do for me?"

"I spend my precious time with you mugwump!" Urashima explains totally seriously. "You should be thankful! What would you do without me? Who would you eat lunch with?"

"Probably Namazuo and Honebami," Yasusada replies unimpressed, earning a frustrated groan from the blonde boy sitting in front of his desk.

"Come on, it's not thaaat bad."

"It's a boy band. One of a million not even talented, casted mix of stereotype guys fulfilling a certain pattern that has proven to fob the most money out of naive school girls."

"Wow!" Urashima says, slapping his own hand to his chest. "What a withering assessment! You should really consider joining the school magazine club. They could need a good critic!"

"I'm fine with kendo," Yasusada mumbles while rummaging in his school bag to find the books he'll need for their first lesson today.

"You're not fine with kendo, you're obsessed. That's a difference," Urashima sighs. "Look, I promise I'll do my homework for the whole next week, if you join me. I can't go there alone. I need an alibi!"

"I don't care if you do your homework or not. And I'm not going to be your alibi so everyone who finds out will think I'm gay."

"Well, you don't seem to be interested much in girls either so..." Urashima shrugs his shoulders, earning a death glare in return.

"Okay, okay, I'll do YOUR homework for a week then?" The blonde tries once more.

"That' wouldn't exactly improve my marks," Yasusada answers while flicking through the pages of his book.

Right...

"Aaaah, you don't know how horrible it feels to be in unreturned love!"

Judging from the dramatic sound of his words, Urashima is playing his trump card now. If he'd be the boss in some video game, then this is his last attack wave. Trying to gain some pity.

"True," Yasusada counters without looking up from his book. "And I don't care."

Bamm! Critical hit!

"Cruel..." Urashima whimpers and lets out a deep sigh while stretching his arms and leaning back against his own desk which is in front of Yasusada's. "I wonder how you manage to be so resistant with cuties like Midare-chan being so close."

Said Midare is in the same year but in another class (much to Urashima's regret). With her long blonde hair and bright blue eyes she is indeed cute. But Yasusada really couldn't care less. There are many cute girls in their school but he doesn't have any interest in them. He's too busy with studying and kendo is a lot more fun than going on dates with girls, acting as if he'd be interested in stuff they enjoy talking about. Like make-up and fashion and... boy bands! He doesn't understand why Urashima would go as far as visiting a boy band concert just to accidentally run into his crush there and impress her by pretending to have the same music interests.

"Why would you even go out with a girl who constantly talks about other guys? Isn't that frustrating?"

Urashima shrugs once more.

"It's not like any of us could ever be equal to an idol! Those are kinda like... superhumans! For ordinary human beings like us it's the biggest achievement to even get a cute girlfriend!"

"Is that so..." Yasusada sighs and looks out of the window. Isn't their teacher a bit late?

"Who knows if she's even a girl?"

"PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFHHHHTTTT!!!!!!!" Urashima snorts very, very loudly in response and Yasusada hopes he just imagined his cheek getting wet from spit just now. He wipes over it with his sleeve anyway just to be save.

"Of COURSE she IS!!! Did you ever take a close LOOK?"

"I didn't because you'd probably kill m-"

"Her beautiful big eyes and her cute smile and the way she walks-"

Ah right, here we go again...

Yasusada internally curses himself for forgetting to bring his own ipod this morning to block out his friend's regular swooning attacks. For a second he even considers grabbing Urashima's which is still lying on the desk in front of him. Boy band music or Urashima's fanboying. Which is the less annoying?

The reason why Yasusada brought up Midare's gender is a widespread rumour saying that she - or he - got into trouble with the school administrations because she insisted on wearing a skirt - while boys are obviously not allowed to come to school in a female school uniform. But as already said, it's only a rumour, so Midare's gender remains a mystery up to this point and Yasusada only likes to tease his friend who has had a crush on said girl since the first time he saw her. When being asked directly, Midare once answered the question with indeed quite a girlish wink and provoking "I bet you'd love to know what's under my skirt!" If she really is a girl, then she's quite a blunt one.

Yasusada reaches the point of defeat when Urashima slobbers over how Midare Toushirou walks down the hallway like an angel that fell out of heaven.

"Okay, okay," he says loud enough to interrupt his love struck classmate. "I'll go to this concert with you, so you can impress Midare but in return you won't bother me with the whole topic ever again."

"SERIOUSLY?" Urashima's shout can probably be heard through the whole school and Yasusada has never been so relieved to finally see their teacher entering the classroom to make his friend shut up.

What the hell did he just sign up for...

~

Much to his surprise, Yasusada's conditions are indeed met because for the rest of the day Urashima didn't bother him. Neither about boy bands nor about Midare. It's an almost relaxing day and when Yasusada leaves the school's gym after kendo practice, he'd almost forgotten where he agreed to go to next Sunday.

That is until he's making his way over the school grounds and there are two girls in front of him, walking incredibly slowly because they're obviously busy staring on their phone and giggling like crazy. He rolls his eyes and when he's about to overtake them, he catches parts of their discussion.

"Aaah, did you see that? Kogi's move just now!!"

"Eeeeh, which one? Rewind, rewind! I didn't see it!! Can you zoom in?"

Yasusada usually doesn't pay attention to other people's chatting, but suddenly he hears a familiar melody. Ah right, it's the song Urashima showed him this morning.

Well, if he already agreed to go to this concert, maybe he should have at least asked for the name of the band. But to be honest, he simply didn't care enough to think about it until now. He stretches his neck a little, trying to catch a glimpse of the mobile screen.

Obviously it's not really successful with two girls almost burying their noses into said small screen and it doesn't take a second until he's noticed.

Both girls startle and turn around quickly, one of them even letting out a shriek.

"What are you doing?!" she yells at him. "Creeping up on us like that! Are you a perv-"

"Ah-! I-It's not like that!" Yasusada quickly steps back, raising both hands in front of him. "S-sorry, I didn't mean to-!"

"Eh? Yasusada-san?" the other girl suddenly says and it's only then when Yasusada notices she's one of his classmates.

"Harada-san, I didn't mean to startle you, sorry!" he repeats. "I just wanted to-"

"-see your boy band video." He absolutely can't say that but his desperate look towards the phone while trying to find a good excuse, is obviously suspicious enough.

The girl called Harada chuckles as she raises her phone to show him the video playing. "Are you interested in this kind of music, Yasusada-san?"

"I'm not!" he answers quickly, shaking his head. "It's just, uhm- I- I heard that song often lately, so I was wondering if it's popular among girls right now."

What a lame excuse. He's putting himself on the same level as Urashima. How humiliating.

"Oooh, it is!!" the girl Yasusada doesn't know, answers. It seems like she accepted his story and doesn't take him for a pervert anymore. Phew!

"It's TouDan! They're suuuuper popular right now! To be honest I don't know any girl who doesn't love them."

"Relatable!" Harada adds in her friend's direction and they both start chuckling again.

Meanwhile, Yasusada looks at the video of a live performance playing on the phone which is still held out to him. Hmm- it doesn't look any special to him. Six guys wearing extravagant, flashy jackets in different colors and fulfilling all the clichés. It takes less than half a minute to sum it up: There's a small and cute boy next to one who is exactly the opposite and probably almost two metres tall. Then there is one with rather broad shoulders, another one who looks a bit more mature, one who's probably supposed to portrait the image of a perfect son-in-law and last but not least a very pretty guy, Yasusada has to admit, who could play the main character in any romance drama TV show.

... Yeah, they do look like one of those casting bands.

While he looks at the video, he doesn't pay that much attention to the girls who started chatting with each other again.

"Did you read their interview in the latest Oricon Style!?" Harada asks.

"They've been asked what they do with all the fan mail, and Kiyomitsu said he reads them ALL! Can you imagine?"

"Eeeh? Seriously? Never! I mean, it would be so, so, sooo cute but he'd have to stay up the whole night with those tons of letters they get every day."

"Maybe we should write one, too?" Harada giggles.

"Oh my god, no, I'd be so embarrassed knowing that he really reads it!"

"So you think he does?"

And there they start laughing again, hands covering their blushing cheeks.

Uuugh okay...

Yasusada will probably never understand girls.

"Uhm," he tries to get their attention. "Thanks for letting me see." He nods with a polite smile and then starts walking off.

Why the hell did he even agree to go there? It's not like he could do a lot more useful things on his free weekend. Like extra kendo training for example. With his hands buried in his pockets he lets out a deep sigh and doesn't notice the girls still staring after him.

"You know?" Harada's friend whispers behind her hand.

"He looks like an idol, too!"

Harada instantly starts laughing.

"Right, right?! He's really handsome but- ah... sadly he's such a loner."

~

With only the light of a small lamp on the desk, red tired eyes fly over lines written on pink paper which smells like roses.

"Dear Kiyomitsu-san, I've been following your career from the very first minute. There's something special about you that makes me feel like drowning in your eyes..."

"Oh, that's cute," the young male with dark brown hair, fringe held back with some hairpins, comments to himself, his voice sounding as tired as his whole pose makes him look like.

His head is resting on his palm and his elbow on the table. It looks as if he's close to falling asleep on the desk in midst a huge stack of still closed letters.

He finishes reading the one in his hands, then lets it fall to the floor to his left where it joins another pile of letters which he already went through.

"My beloved Kiyomitsu," is how the next one starts.

"Wow, how straightforward..."

"I'd like to send you a pair of my panti-"

"URGH-!"

He throws the letter to the floor as if there was a spider on it. Well, maybe a spider would be less disgusting. Who knows what else might have touched this paper. He doesn't even want to think about it.

With a loud and far from well-mannered yawn he takes the next paper out of the envelope, hoping that the message will be less disturbing.

"I've had a dream in which we were so close. I think I dreamt about our past lives."

"Yeah right, happens to me all the time," he sighs.

About a year ago, he would have been wide awake when reading lines like that. Promising ones. But by now he's way more down to earth. The person he's looking for definitely wouldn't use flowery letter paper, write in pink glitter pen and draw a heart frame around the text.

The paper sails through the air and lands on the stack of finished fan mail, when someone knocks on the door.

He just turned his head when the door is already opened and a taller male with dark blue hair, wearing a bath robe, pyjama pants and slippers enters the spacious hotel room.

"I knew it," the young man says with his trademark big smile.

"I didn't say "Come in" or anything," the one sitting on the chair greets him with a rather grumpy expression, obviously not happy about the interruption.

"Well, it was not my intention to spend the next few hundred years waiting outside the door, so I've taken the liberty of entering anyway," the man says unimpressed by the harsh tone in the other's voice. He's used to it.

He walks closer and looks down on the stack of paper carelessly thrown to the floor - and the second pile on the desk that still needs to be read.

"Seriously... you're doing it again?" he says with a accusing but also worried voice.

"Yes." The younger one replies monotonously without looking up. He pretends reading another letter even if that's impossible when someone is standing behind him, trying to talk to him.

The man who entered the room sighs and walks over to the bed, sitting down on the edge of it, legs crossed. He massages his temples, taking a deep breath as if he's confronted with a difficult task - which he is.

"Listen, Kashuu, we've had this discussion before and I'm not planning to repeat-"

"Then don't," Kashuu interrupts him without turning around. "I'm busy. Leave me alone."

"You didn't show up for dinner. And that's not the first time. Yesterday I saw that your light was still on long after midnight."

That's it, he's losing his composure.

"Mikazuki!"

He slams his flat hand onto the table before turning around on his chair, facing the other man.

"It wasn't THAT late!" he hisses. "I'm not a baby, okay? I can stay up as long as I want to!"

"Not when there's a live concert the next day. And not when you almost collapsed on stage last time."

While the younger one raised his voice, the older one of them remains calm like a father trying to get some reason into his son.

"I didn't collapse!" Kashuu corrects him though.

Mikazuki lets out another sigh before he gets up.

"This conversation is utterly pointless," he has to admit.

"Oh wow, finally you got it."

Mikazuki looks at the papers on the floor as if they had the answer he's so desperately searching for. How to convince his group member that sleeping is more important than reading all of these?

"Do you really think, he'd contact you in this way?" he tries once more.

"In which other way would he manage to?" Kashuu mumbles to himself.

"I really don't want to destroy your hope, Kashuu, but-"

"Then STOP IT!"

He jumps up from his chair, ignoring that it falls over when he does so. His eyes are sparkling with anger now and it's all directed at the taller male standing in front of him.

"Stop treating me like a child just because you're a few hundred years older! I know perfectly well what I'm doing and I won't stop it!"

"Your body is not immortal anymore, Kashuu."

Mikazuki doesn't seem to be impressed in any way by Kashuu yelling at him in the middle of the night.

"We've NEVER been immortal! Maybe you've forgotten this over all those years but if we had ever been immortal, we wouldn't be HERE now! We wouldn't have been reborn! If we were immortal, Yasusada would still be here!"

His voice seems to break at his last words and his lower lip is trembling with anger and grief. Red eyes which had been so tired only some minutes ago, are now burning as he glares at Mikazuki.

"Kashuu..."

But when he talks again, Kashuu's voice lost its energy.

"You don't understand," he pants and lets his head sink down. "You have Kogitsune. Even if he doesn't remember anything, at least you're not alone. And Imano and Iwatoshi, they have each other, too. And Ishiki doesn't remember either so he doesn't understand- NO-ONE of you understands!"

Mikazuki doesn't try again. He knows better than Kashuu when to give up. And it was never his intention to make Kashuu angry and exhaust him even more.

"He's out there, Mikazuki," Kashuu ends. "I know it. I can feel it. And I need to find him!"

Mikazuki nods once, twice. Eyes still lowered in retreat.

"Fine," he mumbles through thin lips. "Fine..."

Chapter Text

"Aaachoooo!" Yasusada sneezes for the third time in a row and rubs his nose.

"Wow, you've been sneezing the whole day. Don't you dare infecting me with that cold!" Urashima complains while they walk through the streets on their way to Denny's to grab some food before they will get squeezed between masses of fangirls at the TouDan concert on this sunny Sunday evening in spring.

"I don't have a cold," Yasusada answers while yawning. He didn't get much sleep last night because of all that sneezing. "My mom has a new part time job at the nearby animal shelter. Every time she comes home, she has cat hair all over her clothes."

"Didn't know you're allergic," Urashima says and takes two steps of the stairs at once, jumping up to the door of the restaurant. "Maybe someone was just thinking of you."

Ha ha. Very funny.

"Apart from that," Yasusada continues while the waitress guides them to one of the small tables. "YOU are the one complaining about feeling sick the whole morning. Maybe you caught a cold?"

"I NEVER catch a cold!" Urashima replies almost shocked. "It's the nervousness, the nervousness!!"

That might actually be true, considering the way Urashima has been even more hyperactive than usually today.

"You're acting like one of those fangirls," Yasusada sighs while going through the menu. He's not that hungry, so maybe he'll just get something small...

"Well, maybe- kinda- I'm a fanboy of one of the fangirls so to say, ahahaha."

Why the hell did Yasusada agree to join him today?

Chances that they will really find Midare in the expected crowd of people are really low. That's what Yasusada thinks. But he won't dare to tell that to his friend, who made a very detailed plan of where exactly they need to line up and wait to accidentally bump into his crush. How he knows about different seats and rows and tickets and which of them Midare would get... Yasusada didn't even ask. He's not that interested in the stalker abilities of his friend.

"Leeet's see! I'll take a burger, french fries, fried oysters, a 4 cheese ceasar salat and as a dessert uuuhm- caramel honey pancakes. Oh, which size? Uuuhm tall of course, ahahaha!"

The waitress notes down everything Urashima orders while Yasusada narrows his brows slightly irritated.

"I'll just have a cream anmitsu," he tells the lady his own order, waiting until she walks off, before he starts talking again.

"Not sure if it's a good idea to eat that much when you're already feeling sick."

"I need energy, okay?" Urashima smiles confidently. "Concerts are exhausting!"

"Are you planning to jump up and down with a glow stick and shout? Because if so, I will go back home right now," Yasusada mumbles, dropping his head on his palm tiredly.

Urashima starts laughing. "Nooo, no! Don't worry, I won't do that! ...unless Midare does and can see me."

Yasusada pretends to get up from his chair, but Urashima stops him right away.

"Ha ha, okay okay I won't! But listen, we have to make this realistic, okay? If Midare sees that I have the same interest as she does, then she'll definitely go out with me! I mean, come on, how many guys understand a girl's music taste? How many boyfriend's would join their girlfriend to such a concert?"

"Probably non," Yasusada deadpans. "Nobody would be so crazy."

~

Urashima's stalker skills may not be as good as he thinks, after all, because at the same time, his crush already arrived at the location of the concert.

While the big hall didn't open its gates yet, many fans long gathered in front of the huge building and the queue is getting longer and longer with every minute passing.

"Excuse me!" Midare Toushirou shouts as soon as one of the security guards walks by the long line of fans, speaking into his megaphone and giving instructions.

The blonde girl is waving with a letter in her hands, showing it to the staff. "Could you please give that to-"

"There will be boxes to collect fan mails later. Please put it in there later," the security guard interrupts her before she manages to finish the sentence.

Midare pouts and pulls a face.

"This is not for the band members!", she explains. "It's for their manager. How can I make sure it'll reach him?"

"Put it in the same box. It'll be sorted later."

"But this is very personal, and important! I need to make sure-"

Again, Midare is interrupted. "I bet everyone's letter here is important." The sarcasm in the man's voice is more than obvious. As if he was saying: "Yeah, sure. Every love confession of a teenager is oh so important."

Midare blows out her cheeks, glaring at the man who already turns around to leave and continues shouting into the megaphone, telling the fans to stand closer together, keeping the queue as short as possible. Ah, what a pain in the ass!

"Did you really think that would work?", another girl next to Midare asks and pats her friend's shoulder to comfort her. "Just put it in the box later. It's still better than nothing."

"Ah..." Midare sighs. "You don't understand. This is REALLY important..."

~

The curtains are still closed but the entrance has already opened when Kashuu is peeking through a small slit, watching people filling the rows of the concert hall quickly.

Behind him in the backstage area, Iwatooshi is carrying Imanotsurugi on his shoulders and walks around with him while the smallest band member is singing one of their songs, trying to stay in tune which is not that easy, because Iwatooshi keeps bending his knees and making small jumps so that the other loses his balance and starts laughing.

Ishikirimaru is sitting at a table, reading through some lyrics, while Mikazuki next to him is drinking tea and Kogitsunemaru gets his hair combed by one of their stylists.

"Kiyomitsu!" their makeup artist shouts and makes Kashuu turn around. "Come here for a last check!"

He takes a last look at the audience, searching, hoping to see a familiar face but then sighs and walks over to the young woman with her suitcase full of makeup equipment.

~

Meanwhile two other teenagers are running as if stung by an adder to reach their destination in time.

"I... CAN'T... BREATHE!!!" Urashima pants as they finally reach the entrance of the concert hall and show their tickets to the staff. The queue has long vanished and most people are already inside when he and Yasusada get in.

"I can't believe it..." the boy cries as he looks around the mass of people. "How should I find Midare in here?"

Yasusada rolls his eyes. He's also out of breath but not as much as his friend - he has always been the more sporty one of them. "It's your fault that we're late now don't complain," he says, showing no signs of sympathy.

After ordering half the menu in the restaurant, Urashima forgot to keep track of the time and then disappeared into the toilet rooms with a heavy stomach ache.

"It's the nervousness!" he cries out again, still holding his stomach.

"It's because you ate too much different stuff at once!"

"Ner...vous...ness!!!" Urashima gasps again. His face is a lot paler than usual. He looks really sick.

Nevertheless they start walking through rows of people - nintynine percent girls - to look for one particular blonde. But it's completely in vain. There are just way too many people. And even if Urashima found out in advance in which section Midare would most likely be found - they cannot even reach that area closest to the stage anymore.

Eventually most lights in the big hall are turned off. A voice coming from the loudspeakers informs them that the show will start soon and the securities are telling those still walking around, to find a free spot and stay there. The noise of thousands of girls talking across each other turns into excited high-pitched squeaking sounds.

Yasusada and Urashima are both guided into one of the already tight rows and pushed between several girls. Yasusada instantly feels uncomfortable but surprisingly the girls don't even seem to take note of him. Their eyes are all focused on the stage in front of them when loud drums echo from the speakers and the curtain is about to open. Is this the mystery of boy band concerts? In any other situation he'd probably be suspected of being a pervert again...

"Ugh- I think I have to puke," Yasusada suddenly hears Urashima next to him and he turns around with wide eyes.

"What? Are you serious? NOW?!"

"Ngh-" The blonde keeps holding his stomach with one hand and uses his other to cover his mouth, mumbling "Be right back!"

"W-what-?! H-hey!! U-Urashima!!" Yasusada shouts after him when his friend turns around and pushes his way through a group of girls towards the exit. "O-OI!"

Yasusada wants to follow him but in that second a loud bass drum drowns out his own voice completely and the girls around him start pushing and jumping excitedly, squeaking so loudly that his ears start hurting. From the stage, the voices of the TouDan members can be heard, greeting their fans cheerfully and it's absolutely impossible for Yasusada to get out of this crowd now.

"Goddammit!", he hisses angrily. "You can't be serious!" Urashima long disappeared from his view and all Yasusada can do is turn back to the direction of the stage. "Leaving me alone in this mess..."

"THANKS FOR COMING TONIIIIGHT!!!", the smallest of the guys on stage, wearing an mainly white outfit, shouts with a piercing voice and waves excitedly.

"Are you in a good mood?" the tall one with long white hair asks and Yasusada wants to throw something a lot harder than a plushie at that guy, because it causes another wave of screeching right next to him. Damn, he will be deaf after this evening. How do these girls survive all this? How can they seriously enjoy this?!

"Sounds like they are! So let's start!", the guy in the red jacket shouts in his microphone and Yasusada knits his brows. Something about him looks familiar... About all of them actually. Ah well, he has seen a video of them just yesterday, so that's probably why.

"ARE YOU READYYYY?! Let's get on, let's get on the night!!!"

The music resounds from all sides of him through huge speakers as well as from girls singing along when the first song starts and glow sticks are raised, following the beat rhythmically.

~

"永遠を信じたいんだ (I want to believe in eternity.)
想い出はタカラモノ (These memories are a treasure.)"

"Five minutes break! You got five minutes!" one of the stage staffs shouts and fumbles on his own headset hectically while running around backstage.

Two other staff people hand them plastic cups with water as soon as Kashuu and the others leave the stage.

Kashuu would prefer pouring the cold water right over his head to get rid of the sweat running over his forehead, but their manager, Ichigo Hitofuri is standing nearby, arms crossed and stern expression as he shoots him a dangerous glare when he raises the cup, so he resists the urge and drinks the water instead.

"Here," a girl hands him a towel and he takes it thankfully, wiping his forehead - a second later one of the stylists dabs her makeup brush over his skin, mumbling "Hold stillll!"

Ah... this is the stressful side of an idol's life, those girls in the audience never think about, when claiming they want to become famous, too.

Kashuu doesn't listen to the voices surrounding him and the noise coming from the hall when he closes his eyes and leans back just for a moment.

"You look tired," he suddenly hears Ichigo's voice next to him. "Did you not sleep enough again?"

When Kashuu looks up, he can see Mikazuki's knowing eyes right behind Ichigo who sat down next to him.

"I'm fine," Kashuu answers with a smile and then takes a deep breath before getting up.

"Sooo, last round, last round! Let's gooo!" he shouts cheerfully and salutes before getting back on stage.

All lights pointing at the stage make it impossible to see the audience during the performance. The whole hall looks black to them, while they're on stage. Most people would say that's an advantage because you're less nervous if you can't see a few thousand faces staring at you. But if you are looking for someone in particular, it obviously becomes a big displeasure.

At least like this they can all concentrate on the performance without getting distracted. Still, Kashuu has a strange feeling the whole time. Something is different today. He doesn't know why, but something makes him feel incredibly nervous.

~

Yasusada feels like an idiot.

Everyone around him seems to know all the lyrics by heart and he can hear the girls shouting the names of the band members again and again. Some of them are even crying. Why the hell are they crying? He doesn't get it.

He keeps looking back over his shoulder, trying to spot Urashima, but just like it's impossible for the guys on stage to see the audience, Yasusada can't see farther than a few metres around him.

"How long does he take?" he mutters to himself and silently curses his friend. Maybe Urashima fell into the toilet. Or locked himself up and can't get out? Yasusada thinks both is possible, knowing Urashima.

According to what Mikazuki just announced, this will be their last song. Yes, Yasusada even knows their names by now. They've been yelled into his ear for over an hour. Which means Yasusada spent a whole boy band concert alone, squeezed between sweating and crying fangirls. Urashima will never be able to make up for this! Ne-ver!

"時が過ぎていつか僕たちどこかできっと
キセキの記憶に
歩き出せる
(While time passes by, I'm sure one day we'll walk side by side, this miraculous memory.)"

Yasusada blinks and looks back at the stage, listening to the lyrics of the song. The atmosphere around him feels different all of a sudden and when the song ends, it becomes so quiet, that it makes him feel as if he was alone in this huge hall. The lights above the audience are switched on and for a second he gets the feeling that red eyes are staring directly at him - which is nonsense of course and that's why he just narrows his brows and shakes his head. Maybe there is really some kind of strange magic going on, explaining the polularity of boy bands.

The second the lights are switched on, Kashuu freezes and forgets to sing the last lines. Luckily no-one really notices because the voices of the other five members of TouDan are melting into one anyway. And even if they didn't - Kashuu couldn't care less when his eyes meet deep blue ones that he hasn't seen for centuries and his heart skips a beat.

But before he can do anything, the curtain starts closing and that makes him move instantly.

He starts running towards the curtain, reaching out to pull it apart by hand and just jumping down the stage but before he can even touch the heavy red fabric, Mikazuki grabs his wrists and holds him back.

"What are you doing?" the taller one asks appalled and Kashuu spins around.

"I saw him!!" he simply gasps before turning around and running backstage. Might really not be the best idea to jump down the stage. The fans would instantly freak out and corner him and that's not a good idea. So he runs as fast as he can, grabbing his black hoodie from his chair on the way and rushing out of the backstage area.

"Found who?", Ishikirimaru asks while the others are staring partly confused, partly worried into the direction Kashuu disappeared in.

When he gets out of the building through the back door, he can see security guards standing at the fence and on the other side of it, the visitors of the concert are streaming out of the hall. Damn! Damn, damn, damn! How is he supposed to find him in this huge crowd of people? Nevermind, he doesn't have time to think about that now. And so he just pulls up the zipper of his jacket and the hoodie over his hair, trying to make it cover as much of his face as possible, before he sneaks behind the backs of the guards and a few metres away through the fence.

"HEY!" he hears one of them shouting and mumbles some curses as he starts running again, head lowered so he can pass through the crowd without being noticed. The security won't dare to shout his name out here. It'd be like a death sentence. And that's why Kashuu manages to disappear in the crowd of people without being caught immediately. He won't have much time though. They'll obviously follow him - as unobtrusively as possible of course.

As carefully and as fast as he can, he squiggles through the crowd, eyes wide open and hastily darting from person to person. His heart is beating like crazy out of nervousness and he automatically repeats one sentence again and again in his head: "I found him! I found him! I found him!" It was him, it was definitely him. Kashuu is one hundred percent sure! And knowing that makes him so happy and excited that he feels like instantly crying from all these emotions overwhelming him. He only needs to find him again in this mess. He has to, he HAS to!!!

There!

Suddenly his eyes catch a light blue hoodie a few metres away and big blue eyes are looking around, obviously searching for someone. He's not walking away, he's standing right there, searching for him, just like Kashuu has been searching for him since all those years. All those lonely years, they're finally over!!

"Yasusada!" he shouts out loudly when getting closer and the other turns around. It's him! It's really him. He knew it, he found him, he's right there!

Kashuu starts moving faster, his eyes sparkling with excitement. He's only a few steps away and he's looking at him.

"Isn't that-?" he suddenly hears the voice of a girl he just passed by.

"Kashuu!!"

"Eeeh?! Kiyomitsu?!"

Shit!

"Oh my god, it's really him!"

"For real?"

"It's Kashuu Kiyomitsu!"

"Oh god, oh god!! Kiyomitsu-sama! Can I have an autograph?"

"Can we take a selfie with you??"

Before he gets the chance to react in any way, he's surrounded by girls and doesn't know in which direction to answer first. He looks over their heads to see Yasusada but-

He's gone? He's gone!! Where did he go? Why is he gone?

"Kiyomitsu!"

"Kiyomitsu-san!!"

"E-excuse me!"

He tries to push his way through the crowd but it's useless. Some rather blunt fans start pulling on his sleeve to hold him back and damn he'd love to just push them out of his way but he can't do that.

It doesn't take another second before the security guards catch up with him and do that for him.

"Please move back, get out of the way. Excuse me. Sorry, please let us through. Move back!"

He's grabbed by the shoulder and pulled into the other direction, back towards the building.

"No, no, wait!" he shouts at the guard, trying to get away.

He can see a blue hoodie disappearing in the crowd several metres away.

"Yasusada!", he shouts again, almost desperately but said person doesn't turn around anymore. "No wait! - Let me go! YASUSADA!"

Chapter Text

"What the HELL did you think you're doing?! Running out there all of a sudden-!"

After being caught by the security guard and getting dragged back into the building, Kashuu was forced to sit down in their backstage room only to get lectured by their manager.

And Ichigo is angry. Very angry! The volume of his voice, his expression and especially words like "hell" coming from his lips prove that more than enough. Ichigo doesn't lose his calmness often. And when he uses swear words it's a sign that the situation is really serious! Actually this is the first time Kashuu witnesses it. In any other situation, he'd be more impressed by his manager's reaction. But not under these circumstances.

"I saw Yasusada!" he repeats what he told Mikazuki in a rush only some minutes ago.

"That's no reason to jump into a crowd of fangir-"

"Not a reason? Not. A. REASON?" Okay, now it's Kashuu's turn to get angry. That is by far less rare, so the rest of the band knows what to expect and most of them prefer not to get involved with this. He slams both flat hands on the table and gets up from the chair, unable to keep sitting still.

Ishikirimaru and Kogitsunemaru look rather puzzled but don't dare to interrupt. Mikazuki sat down at the other end of the table and watches quietly while sipping his tea. Only Imanotsurugi and Iwatooshi show a sign of pity.

"It's not like I tried jumping down a cliff or anything, so stop freaking out! I should be the one doing so because I couldn't follow him!"

"You can be glad that those girls didn't tear you apart," Ichigo hisses but sounds still more collected than Kashuu. He's not their manager for no reason. He's one of the rare people who don't back away from standing up against Kashuu.

Kashuu rolls his eyes and kicks the leg of the table in front of him.

"They're faaaans! They loooove me! They wouldn't tear me apart."

"As the one who reads every strange letter he gets, you should know best what creeps are among those," Ichigo keeps arguing. "But even if not, causing a ruckus like that is unacceptable. Can you even imagine what the headline of tomorrow's magazines will be?"

"And? Who cares?" Kashuu snaps back and shrugs his shoulders, folding his arms in front of his chest like a sulking elementary school kid.

"Let's talk about more important things," he says. The happiness over seeing the person he has been looking for since so long quickly overweighs his anger again. "I need a list of all people who came to the concert today."

"What?!" Ichigo gasps, and behind him, the others look just as surprised. Mikazuki chokes on his tea and starts coughing.

"That's impossible."

"Then make it possible!"

"Kashuu, listen-" Ichigo tries again, stepping closer and putting his hand on Kashuu's shoulder, looking at him with a serious expression.

"You need to calm down about this whole thing. I know, I've told you before-"

"Aaargh, I can't believe it!!" Kashuu steps back, pushing Ichigo's hand away and turns around, almost about to tear his hair out in frustration. But instead he decides to just leave because otherwise he'll freak out only more.

"Kashuu! Hey! This discussion is not over yet!" he hears Ichigo shouting after him when he walks down the stairs from the back stage area.

~

"Good work today, Kashuu!", he's stopped on the corridor by the voice of Hakata Toushirou, a young blonde boy and Ichigo's brother, who is clinging to him in this life just like in their past one.

Kashuu tries not to show his anger and instead forces a smile, patting the boys head. "Did you watch the show today as well? Thank you!"

Seems like Hakata didn't witness what happened right after the show.

"Kashuu!"

Ah, damn...

Before Kashuu can make another attempt to escape, Ichigo caught up with him.

"I said this discussion is not over yet."

Kashuu takes a deep breath. Seriously, sometimes certain people around him are more annoying than parents!

"Yes, yes, you told me before," he sighs. "Just like Mikazuki! But I don't get it!" He lowers his voice at his next words because this is really not a topic they should discuss in public. "How can you be so calm, when all your siblings are out there, too? How can you NOT search for them?"

Hakata looks up at the two older ones curiously. Unlike Kogitsunemaru and Ishikirimaru, the young boy belongs to those of them who remember very well who they used to be before being reborn in the twenty-first century.

"Because if destiny wants us to meet again, then we will. Just like I met Hakata again," Ichigo says and puts his hand on his brother's shoulder. By now his voice is back to its normal, collected tone. "It's never a good idea to dig too much in the past. We all should know that better than anyone else."

Kashuu bites his lower lip. Yeah, okay, seeing it like this, Ichigo has a point. Because they all witnessed what happened because of the Retrograding Army. But this is completely different!

"After the Saniwa summoned us, you didn't seem to be so consumed by your previous life," Ichigo says and Kashuu huffs sarcastically. If only he knew...

"When we were with the Saniwa, I wasn't alone," he replies, breaking eye contact with Ichigo.

Ichigo looks at him worriedly, finally showing some sign of pity.

"You're not alo-" he starts, but Kashuu interrupts him, looking up at him once more with a serious expression.

"I just want Yasusada back, that's all!"

"Yasusada?" Hakata repeats and blinks.

"He was here today, so it can't be too difficult to find him. Can't we just- get a list of all visitors?"

Ichigo sighs and scratches his head. "It's not like they all have to show their ID at the entrance and get registered or something."

"We should do that from now on!"

Uhm. Yeah, sure. Nothing easier than that.

"If it was really him, then you're at least one step further, right? Now try to calm down a take a rest, PLEASE! Mikazuki has told me you don't really do that often lately."

"That old snitch..." Kashuu mumbles to himself.

"I'm serious, Kashuu. Try to get some more sleep tonight. You really need it."

As if he could sleep, knowing for sure that Yasusada is out there...

~

"How about you'll pay my- achooo!! My lunch for the next two weeks. No wait, make it a month - or two. Achooo!" Yasusada grumbles, interrupted by sneezing, while he and Urashima are on their way back home.

"I told you, I'm soooorry!!" the blonde one whines once more, folding his hands like in a prayer as he begs his friend for forgiveness.

Yasusada rubs his nose as they walk through the more urban area where he lives. Urashima lives just nearby so their way home is almost the same. It's gotten dark by now and after such a noisy day, Yasusada welcomes the quietness in this area more than anything.

"Leaving me alone the whole concert... I can't believe it," he sighs.

"Me neither!" Urashima cries. "Can't believe I spent so much money on the tickets and didn't even get to talk to Midare..."

"Maybe next time, don't make stupid plans like that but just go to her and confess."

"Eeeeeh? Noway! NOWAY!!"

They reach the big building Yasusada's flat belongs to and stop in front of the main door.

"But hey, at least you got a super new experience. I helped you opening up your horizon! You should be thankful!"

Urashima laughs as he raises his hand to say good-bye. "See you on Monday. Good night!"

"Night..." Yasusada mumbles back and waves unenthusiastically.

A new experience, huh? Suddenly and completely out of the blue, he remembers those red eyes staring directly at him in the crowd. Why does that come to his mind again now?

"Ah... whatever", he yawns and enters the building.

~

Kashuu is sitting on his hotel bed - which is an improvement compared to previous evenings which he spent reading fan mails. But the only reason for that is that he didn't get the latest stack yet. He's wondering if Ichigo told the staff to sort it more slowly just because he wants Kashuu to rest. But even if he'd try, he couldn't sleep right now. And that's why he's aimlessly browsing on his notebook which he has on his lap.

When someone knocks on the door he automatically expects Mikazuki or Ichigo or someone else trying to check if he's already asleep, so he quickly closes his notebook and puts it down on the floor, before mumbling a pretending to be sleepy "Come in!"

He's surprised seeing that a rather small figure is sneaking into the room though.

"Hakata?"

"Sorry to disturb you so late," the boy says while hopping onto the bed, a stack of papers in his hands. "Did you sleep already?"

"As if I could," Kashuu sighs. At least he doesn't have to act in front of Hakata. "But how about you? Wandering around the floors at this hour... If Ichigo finds out, he'll get mad at both of us."

"I thought you probably want this as soon as possible. So I hurried."

Hakata hands him the stack of paper which is stapled at the top and Kashuu looks at the printouts. A list of names. Wait, what-?

He frowns and looks up at Hakata with an invisible big question mark in his expression.

Hakata smiles proudly as he points at the list. "You might want to check page three."

Quickly Kashuu flips through the pages, ful of hope that this is what he thinks it is and-

There it is! Highlighted with yellow text marker. Yasusada's name. And address!

Kashuu almost lets out a loud squeak and holds back only in the very last second, realising that someone would immediately come running if he made such a noise.

"Is that-?! How did you-? Hakata, seriously- I don't know what," he stutters completely overwhelmed and with a big smile on his face.

"I hacked into the most common ticket sales websites. Most people buy tickets online nowadays. Especially young people. I didn't find Yasusada there at first but surprisingly someone else."

He leans over to Kashuu and points at another name on the list.

"Kotetsu Urashima!"

Kashuu opens his mouth and closes it wordlessly, which makes him look like a helpless fish.

"I found out the school he's going to and this is the list of all students I got from the school's website. Yasusada is in the same class.

"Hakata, I-" he tries again, still at a loss of words. He found out his address, his school, his class. He can just go there and meet him. Kashuu's heart is racing excitedly.

"Thank you!!" he finally shouts out and grabs the boys shoulders, hugging him like a teddy bear. "Thank you, thank you, thank you so much, you wonderful, smart, brilliant boy! Thank you, I love you!!"

Hakata laughs but struggles out of Kashuu's embrace which is a bit too tight for him.

"Ha ha, leave that for Yasusada, I guess," he says. "And no worries. I'm glad I managed to help."

Kashuu hugs the paper in his hand like a treasure, smiling from ear to ear.

"Ah, I wish I could go to him right now."

That's probably not the best idea because it's long after midnight. But in the morning. No, after school, he can go there! They don't have any performance tomorrow so it should be fine.

"There's more, I found out," Hakata says and reaches out for the papers, flipping through some of them before handing them back to Kashuu and pointing at two names right above each other.

"Namazuo and Honebami, too?" Kashuu asks surprised. "They're all in the same class?" He checks the first page again. "And this school isn't even far from here! I can't believe all of them have been so close all the time!" It is almost ironic, isn't it? If he wouldn't have become an idol with the only goal to become famous enough for Yasusada to find him easily - he might even have ended up in the same school!

Hakata nods. "Last but not least, I found Midare, too. Not in the same class but same school." Hakata looks down on the sheets as he continues talking. "Ichi-Nii said he doesn't want to force destiny. But..." He looks worried even if he's smiling. "I know, he misses the others just like I do. So if you go there and see them- will you try talking to them as well?"

"Of course!" Kashuu answers quickly. "Of course, I will! I'll go there right away tomorrow! Aaah, I won't be able to sleep the whole night, ha ha!"

~

Yasusada on the other hand had slept like a dog after the stressful previous day. And for him today is a day like any other. Nothing exciting happens in class. Nothing out of the usual. Urashima bothering him and swooning about Midare. Having lunch with the Toushirou brothers. Everything is just like any other day...

When the bell rings and ends their last hour, he's more relieved than usual and that's the only difference. He slept so long but he still feels tired. He's just not the type of person for noisy free time activities like concerts. He prefers practising kendo, maybe reading a good book. Stuff like that. How did he became friends with Urashima again?

"Maaaan, what a day," said blonde sighs as he walks out of the building next to Yasusada. "I think I really failed todays math test. Why did he have to write one unannounced today out of all days?"

"Not that you would have been better prepared on any other day," Yasusada mentions. Well, that's true.

As they make their way over the school grounds, they can hear some other students mumbling while they walk by.

"Did you see that guy by the gate? Kinda creepy, right?"

"Really! Is he looking for trouble or something?"

They're laughing while chatting, so it's probably nothing too serious going on and Yasusada doesn't pay much attention.

~

Spring came early this year and thus it's already quite warm for April. But that's probably not the only reason why Kashuu gets stared at while he's waiting outside the school gate with his trademark red scarf pulled high to his chin, mouth and nose covered by a mask, eyes hidden behind sunglasses and the front of his flat cap throwing shadows on his face.

People walking by start talking behind their hands but Kashuu is used to it. Rather let them whisper than disturb him which is what they would do if they knew who he is. And that's something he really doesn't need again today. It already ruined his reunion with Yasusada once.

He keeps looking at the gate nervously, excited but also a bit worried. What if Yasusada won't leave right after school? What if he has club activities? Or is on cleaning duty? Or anything like that? Maybe he's giving extra lessons? Because Kashuu can imagine him being pretty smart in school. With how eager and disciplined he is, he probably gets good grades. Ah, Kashuu can't wait to finally see him again. To get to know how Yasusada lived the past years. How he's been doing. Seventeen years aren't much for a sword spirit but for a human lifespan it's quite a long time.

And while he's still wondering about how Yasusada's life might be now, Kashuu suddenly sees him.

There he is. Just a few metres away. Walking through the gate next to Urashima. Neither of them notices him as they keep walking into the other direction. Ah, he looks just like back than. Exactly like last time he saw him, even if it's been hundreds of years ago.

Kashuu's eyes are shining brightly when he takes the sunglasses off and quickly pulls down the mask as well, before shouting after him and starting to run at the same time.

"Yasusada!!"

When Yasusada and Urashima both stop and turn around, Kashuu doesn't give them much time to react. Yasusada stumbles backwards and almost loses his balance when Kashuu literally jumps at him, throwing his arms around him in a tight embrace.

Kashuu really didn't plan this. He planned to just walk there and act all cool and tough as he always used to. But when Yasusada turned around and looked at him, Kashuu's feelings overwhelmed him. And now, there he is, pressing his forehead against the other's shoulders, sounding close to tears when he starts talking.

"I can't believe it. It's you. It's really you! I missed you so much."

He doesn't really want to pull back but does so anyway because he realises he probably overwhelmed Yasusada. And now he's looking into a very puzzled face which he'd love to just smooch all over - but he doesn't do that either, because they're surrounded by people. Still at least his wrists are still lingering on Yasusada's shoulders. He just can't bring himself to let go completely now that he finally got him back.

"I've been searching you all those years," he laughs and smiles when familiar, beloved, sky blue eyes look right into his and - aaaah how did he miss that cute, angelic and naive expression!

"When I saw you at the concert, I instantly knew-"

"Uhm-" Yasusada finally seems to have gotten his voice back.

"Sorry but- who are you?"

Chapter Text

The words are like a magic spell. They cause Kashuu's smile to vanish instantly. For a second or two he looks shocked. Terrified. Frightened.

But then he starts laughing again.

"Ha ha, very funny! Actually it's not, you idiot!"

"I guess you're mistaking me for someone," Yasusada says calmly, grabbing Kashuu's arms and pulling them off his shoulders to step out of the embrace.

"Excuse me-"

"EXCUSE ME, TOO!"

Urashima suddenly interrupts them and Kashuu can't deny he had completely forgotten about the blonde male standing right next to Yasusada all the time.

"Are you kidding me, Yasusada?!", Urashima yells at his friend. "You don't remember him?"

Kashuu is still too confused, too shocked to say anything. But yeah, right, Urashima is on his side. Please, tell Yasusada to stop joking! It's not funny!

"Hello?! Am I the one who missed the concert or are you?" Urashima explains to Yasusada and then points at Kashuu. "That's Kashuu Kiyomitsu, from TouDan! Jeez, you really can't remember faces at all, can you?"

He turns to Kashuu again, looking overly excited.

"But apart from that- what is someone like you doing here?" His gaze shifts curiously back and forth between Yasusada and Kashuu.

"Do you know each other? Yasusada, are you keeping secrets from me?"

"So it's true? It's really him?" They can hear some girls mumbling around them. Kashuu didn't notice some of the students stopped walking to watch them.

"I told you, it's him! What is he doing here?"

His eyes are still focused on Yasusada's but there's no light in them anymore. They look empty now. Desperate.

"You... really don't remember?" he asks and his voice sounds surprisingly weak.

"Yasu..."

He raises his hand, he wants to touch his face but he doesn't even manage, before Yasusada shakes his head and slowly steps back.

"Sorry, this must be a misunderstanding."

"Kashuu Kiyomitsu! Excuse me?! Can we take a photo?"

"Kiyomitsu, can you sign on my phone case?"

"Kiyomitsu!"

"Kiyomitsu!"

Why do they all keep bothering him? Why are they surrounding him? Why are they all calling his name and Yasusada doesn't? Yasusada should be the only one to call out for him. Kashuu doesn't need to be loved by so many people. There's only one person he needs. Only ONE!

When the fans become too many and too pushy and he can feel someone pulling on his sleeve and jacket, it's like a kneejerk reaction that he turns around and runs away.

He doesn't see the person with long blonde hair, watching him from around the corner.

"Wow, what the hell was that?" Urashima gasps while they watch some girls running after the stranger who suddenly made his escape.

Yasusada frowns.

"I have no clue..."

~

The lights in the gym are switched off when the members of TouDan finished their daily practice and make their way to the changing rooms.

Mikazuki and Iwatooshi are the last ones still packing their stuff together while the other members already left. Apart from one...

who hasn't shown up in the first place.

When Kashuu opens the door, both of the older ones turn around to see him entering with his head hanging down, eyes fixed on the floor.

Mikazuki is the first to approach him, stepping closer and starting with a severe voice: "I don't even want to hear your excuse. You can imagine how angry Ichigo was because you-"

He stops as quickly as he started, when Kashuu raises his head and Mikazuki sees his swollen and wet eyes.

Iwatooshi drops his jacket and walks over to him, grabbing his shoulder.

"Kashuu? What happened?"

Kashuu doesn't look at him. Not even when Iwatooshi slightly shakes him and repeats his question. He's just staring, absent-mindedly at some random spot in front of him, forgetting even to blink. It takes a few more seconds until he finally opens his mouth and what comes from his lips is nothing but a breathless whimper.

"He doesn't remember me."

It's just one sentence but it's enough for him to break apart once again. It's followed by a loud sobbing and at the same time his knees are giving in. Luckily Iwatooshi has good reflexes and grabs him before he falls to the ground.

Helplessly like a child, Kashuu is clinging to the taller one's shirt, causing it to get wet from tears within the blink of an eye. His fingers are clenched into the fabric while uncontrolled sobs and cries emerges from his throat.

It makes Iwatooshi feel just as helpless and he looks at Mikazuki worriedly while hugging Kashuu and stroking over his back. But Mikazuki's expression is rather empty. Impossible to say if he feels sorry for Kashuu or not.

Finally the oldest of their group lets out a sigh, and calmly says: "This is why I told you... not to get too invested."

It's definitely not what Kashuu needs right now, but then again it's only the truth. He has told him. Ichigo has. And they did for a reason. Because Kogitsunemaru and Ishikirimaru are the living proof that some of them don't remember. And non of the others knows what causes this amnesia.

Still, Mikazuki's words cause nothing than anger in Kashuu right now. He pushes himself out of Iwatooshi's arms and glares at Mikazuki dangerously.

"How can you be like that?!" he hisses. And then he starts shouting. Shouting out his anger and frustration and sadness, all at Mikazuki, even if he's not the one to blame for Kashuu's situation.

"How can you always be so cold? Don't you have ANY feelings?! Did you forget how to feel over all those years?!"

"Kashuu," Iwatooshi interrupts him, trying to prevent the whole situation from escalating even more but Kashuu is not done yet.

"I was standing right in front of him," he sobs. "And he asked me who I am... I can't believe he simply... forgot everything! Everything we've been through." And once more, his voice gives in under the pressure of his tears.

Mikazuki doesn't say anything. Just quietly watches while Iwatooshi grabs his bag and jacket and den puts an arm around Kashuu, leading him out of the changing room.

"Come," he says in a comforting tone. "I'll drive you home."

~

It's quiet in the car apart from the noise of the motor and the other cars on the streets. Iwatooshi didn't switch on the radio. It got dark meanwhile and Kashuu is staring aimlessly out of the window. Lights of cars and buildings and signs are passing by like an indefinable stream of colors. He didn't say a single word since he left the gym and neither did Iwatooshi.

Iwatooshi really wants to comfort him though. He just doesn't know where to start or what might be useful at this point. He has never been in a situation like Kashuu. To be honest, he hasn't searched for anyone. The one who has always been closest to him is Imanotsurugi. And he's right there and remembers perfectly fine. Even if he mentions now and then that he wouldn't mind forgetting certain things.

"I know that's easier said than done, but," Iwatooshi finally breaks the silence.

"Please don't be mad at Mikazuki."

Kashuu makes an annoyed huffing sound and continues staring out of the window.

"True, he's not good in dealing with such things. But just like Ichigo- no, like ALL of us, he only wants the best for you."

"That would be Yasusada," Kashuu mumbles, his voice hoarse from crying.

Well, what should Iwatooshi reply to that? Kashuu really does give all of them a hard time...

They leave the crowded city and drive through a rather exclusive area which looks impressive even at night. Modern and extraordinarily huge houses, mostly in western style are aligned along the pavements with just as big gardens and high gates leading to their entrances.

At the end of the road, there's the place Kashuu calls home in this life. Even if he doesn't really get the chance to be here often lately. Whenever they are on tour, they take hotel rooms nearby the concert halls. And lately their schedule has been packed with concerts.

The gate opens via remote control and Iwatooshi drives up the gateway. Behind high hedges lies a house with a garden so neatly trimmed, it could as well be called a private park. It consists of colorful flowerbeds, a pavilion and a pool nearby the porch. Every detail is exactly the opposite of the living standard Kashuu had experienced in his very first life. In the past there have been moments when he thought money could make him happy. Or even the love of many people. Now that he has both of that, he'd rather be back at the riverbed - as long as Yasusada would be with him.

Iwatooshi stops the car before he speaks again.

"I won't say I know how you feel, but..." he starts. "A loss of memory isn't automatically the end of everything."

Kashuu is about to open the door but then he stops and turns to look back at Iwatooshi. Now that he doesn't need to focus on the traffic anymore, the taller one looks at him with a comforting smile. "You found him, right? That's what you always wanted. It's a big success! It's not all over now. It's more like a new beginning."

A new beginning? Kashuu frowns as he thinks about these words. Iwatooshi does have a point. Up to now, Kashuu didn't consider any possibility how to keep on going from now on. When Yasusada didn't recognize him, he proverbially threw the towel, getting all consumed by negative thoughts.

"Do you think he can get his memory back?" Kashuu asks and Iwatooshi shrugs his shoulders.

"I honestly don't know. But even if not - it doesn't mean you two can't become close again. Look at Mikazuki and Kogitsune."

Kashuu looks down, eyebrows still tensed and he starts chewing on his lower lip while thinking...

"Just don't give up, okay?" Iwatooshi says and pats his head. "You wouldn't be Kashuu Kiyomitsu, if you'd give up so easily."

Kashuu looks up at him, still unsure but then he manages a weak smile and nods.

"Thank you, Iwatooshi" he says and then gets out of the car.

"Good night!"

~

At the same time in a different location which is not that far away.

Yasusada plops down on his bed with a package of potato chips and yawns. He has just finished homework and his books and notes are still spread across his desk but he can clean that up later. Yasusada's room isn't any special. It's rather small but it has everything he needs. A comfy bed, a messy desk, a wardrobe and a window. He has never paid much attention to design, decoration or even luxury. It's cozy and that's all that matters.

He grabs the remote of his TV which is standing on a small table in the corner next to his desk. Watching TV in bed while killing a package of potato chips - what a healthy way of living.

While munching his snacks, he rolls on his side, head resting on his arm as he zaps through the channels. There's not much stuff on TV that would really interest him. He mostly lets it run in the background without really watching.

But when he zaps through some music channels, he suddenly stops.

This time, he recognizes the guys on the stage shown immediately. Probably because he has seen them from a lot closer only yesterday.

"They really seem to be everywhere these days..." he sighs and decides to listen to the report. It's mostly about the success of the concert and some parts of the performance are shown, as well as an interview with the members.

When the camera switches to the young male with dark brown hair and red eyes, Yasusada narrows his brows. Seeing him in close-up again, he's even more sure that this is definitely the person who jumped at him earlier this day.

Urashima ended up freaking out at least half as much as the girls who started running after this Kiyomitsu guy. He kept bothering Yasusada the whole way home, asking why he never told him that he knows a celebrity and completely ignoring Yasusada telling him that he doesn't.

"Kashuu Kiyomitsu..." he mumbles and takes a close look. In the interview Kashuu is wearing ordinary clothes instead of his flashy stage outfit. It makes him look more natural, less unreachable. Yasusada still doesn't understand why all the girls are running after idols as if their lives depend on it. But he does agree that they have something mysterious about them. Especially during the concert, they had these vibes that give ordinary people the feeling that they're living in a different world. Yasusada doesn't like that though. Kashuu Kiyomitsu looks better with normal clothes. Yes, he does look good, Yasusada won't deny that. But then again that's why this guy is an idol right? It's always all about looks.

"Being so popular also means a lot of hard work. What's your motivation? What drives you forward?", the interviewer asks.

"Well, I'm searching for a special person," Kashuu answers with a bright smile. The kind of smile that makes girls squeak and faint.

"The one who's most important to me, to be honest. I hope one day my voice will reach this person."

The lady with the microphone chuckles shyly. "I bet, many girls out there would love to become that person."

Yasusada rolls his eyes. Jeeeez, how lame is that even. Do women really fall for such nonsense? He will never understand them. He'll never understand romance at all.

"I missed you so much."

Suddenly the words are replayed in his head and he keeps staring at the person on TV who is smiling so cheerfully and joking with the interviewer. Yasusada is one hundred percent sure this is the person who showed up at the school gate this afternoon. But something in his eyes looks very different. The longer Yasusada watches the interview, the more he gets the feeling that this is all fake. This smile is not the same that Yasusada saw today.

"I've been searching you all those years..."

What the hell did he mean by that? Does Yasusada really look that similar to someone who means so much to this guy? So much that he risked causing such a stir in public? Ah... he shouldn't think too much about it. He'll probably never meet that guy ever again anyway. So why should he care...

~

When Kashuu opens his eyes, it's loud around him. Very loud. He can hear screaming from all around him. Some of the voices seem to come from humans but others sound more like wild animals. He can also hear the neighing and galloping of horses. There's the sound of clashing metal very close to him.

And then he can see. Big stones and arrows dash through the air like bullets and hit their goal merciless on both sides of this war. His friends and comrades are running, fighting, trying to push back the enemy, the Retrograding Army.

They're on a wide, plain field that has become a war zone. This battle is different from any other though. It's not only six of them like in one of their regular sorties. No, it's all of them! All spirits of the swords that their current master ever managed to summon. And they're all fighting in this final battle.

The smell of blood reaches his nostrils and that's when he realises where he is and what's happening. In the very last second, he raises his sword to block the enemy's attack.

"Keep going! Move forward!!" he can hear Ichigo shouting from somewhere. He can't see him. He doesn't have time to turn around. "They're falling back. We will win this war!!"

"We will win."

"We will win this war!"

Suddenly the noises are gone and everything around him turns black. There is only one noise he can hear. Some sort of... gulping. Choking. The noise of a person coughing and gagging.

And then the battlefield is back. But this time it's different. A lot more quiet. He can only hear whimpering, pained noises and coughing in the distance. It seems to come from all directions. There are bodies on the ground. Dead horses, dead enemies, dead swords... He can't see their faces and he doesn't want to.

His own sword is heavily injured too, but the adrenaline won't let him notice his wounds, deep cuts on his thigh, waist and arm...

There's the choking sound again and then he sees the person it's coming from. He's sitting on the ground only some metres away. He's leaning forward, one of his hands on the ground for support and still holding onto his sword, even with his hand shaking. His other hand is raised to his mouth and when Kashuu moves closer, he can see blood on his face and hand.

"Yasu...sada..." he gasps breathlessly, noticing only now that he barely has enough strength left to talk.

The few steps necessary to reach his lover's side cost him so much energy that he literally falls onto his knees in front of him.

Yasusada looks up when Kashuu grabs his shoulder. His eyes are swollen with clearly visible ruptured veins. His ponytail had loosened and some strands of his hair, smeared with blood, are sticking to his dirty cheeks. His lips and chin are covered in deep red blood.

"Kiyom--"

He can't even talk more than one syllable before he gags again and sinks to the ground, a whole flush of blood pouring out of his mouth like out of an open valve.

Kashuu doesn't know what to say, he doesn't know what to do. He's too scared to help Yasusada up, knowing it's completely futile at this point. He looks at Yasusada's body - or what's left of it, which isn't more than muscles, flesh and skin drowned in blood and torn apart clothes. When he pushes against Yasusada's shoulder anyway, it feels strange. So light and giving in with no resistance. He heaves Yasusada closer so that the other's head can rest on his shoulder. Yasusada doesn't have the strength to hold him or hug him back. His arms are hanging from his sides like useless, numb limbs. His sword remains on the ground - broken into several pieces.

Kashuu's hands are shaking like leaves as he brushes over Yasusada's cheek, smearing blood on his own hands. He buries his face in Yasusada's hair, pulling him as close as he can and closes his eyes as tears are running over his face. He can't hear his own sobbing. All he can hear are cut off breathes, interrupted by gagging and coughing and Kashuu's shirt turns crimson red. First it was covered only by the enemies blood, then his own and now Yasusada's.

"I-" Yasusada starts another pointless attempt.

"Ssh..." Kashuu whispers. "It's okay," his voice sounds weak and trembling but at least he can still talk. But Yasusada can't and he's struggling against his injuries, trying to push himself up, to turn around and at least look at Kashuu.

When their eyes meet, Kashuu can hardly endure it. Because in this very moment there's only one thought in his mind: This will be the last time. This is the last time, he gets to look into Yasusada's eyes. Beautiful, big, blue eyes. Always loyal and so full of love.

"I lov-" Yasusada pants and starts coughing again.

"I know," Kashuu answers the only half finished but easy to understand vow. He doesn't beak eye contact as he keeps caressing Yasusada's cheeks and smiles at him. "I love you too. I love you more than anything." He leans in to kiss Yasusada's cheek but then Yasusada's head sinks back at Kashuu's shoulder and Kashuu can feel fingers digging into his shirt. "I'll always love you. Always, Yasusada. Always, always..." He repeats the words quietly as he rocks him back and forth like a baby. As if to make him fall asleep peacefully. He can feel the grip on his shirt becoming weaker and finally loosening. It's only then, when he stops his mantra and starts sobbing uncontrollably again, hugging Yasusada's body, unable to let go. To ever let go.

But he won't have to.

Because it's only a few seconds later when he hears something like the rolling of thunder and when he looks up, he sees something huge on the sky. Something huge that's coming closer with the speed of light.

Then there's an explosion. The battlefield is filled with light and the earth starts shaking. Kashuu keeps holding Yasusada tightly until the world around him turns dark and he stops being part of it.

~

"AAAH!"

With a loud scream, he shoots up in his bed and looks around panicking.

"Yasusada?!"

Silence.

He holds his breath as if to listen closely, waiting for an answer that won't come.

It's dark around him, but through the slits in the middle of the curtains, he can see the moonlight forcing its way through the window and into his room.

He sighs and drops his forehead against the pillow on his knees, legs pulled up close to his body.

He starts shivering, noticing only now that there's cold sweat on his skin.

That picture... Yasusada vomiting masses of blood. Suffocating on it. Dying in Kashuu's arms.

He'll never get that out of his head.

Non of the others knows where that explosion came from. In fact, among those Kashuu managed to meet again in his current life, no-one even seems to remember an explosion. Maybe they have already been dead at that point. Fact is, all of them died on that day. Right after defeating the Retrograding Army once and for all.

And they were reborn in another time. Again. But this time, without any master. Without a mission. Without being spirits. But as ordinary human beings. This time, everything is different. This time, they don't need to fight. There is no war. It's their chance actually. The first time, they might be able to live a happy life.

Kashuu won't live it without him.

"Yasusada..." he whispers into his pillow and closes his eyes, thinking of that very alive and healthy blue he has seen today. "I won't give up..."

Chapter Text

"You want WHAT?"

Ichigo look at Kashuu with his eyes widened in disbelieve.

"I wanna go to school again," Kashuu answers with a bright smile as if nothing ever made his mood drop most recently. "And I also decided on which one. I already printed all necessary documents-" He reaches out the stack of papers to his manager.

"Listen, Kashuu, that won't work so easily," Ichigo answers with a frown. "We have concerts and your schedule is-"

"Midare is going to the same school," Kashuu interrupts him. His first idea was to tell Ichigo that if he won't be allowed to go to the same school as Yasusada, he will leave TouDan completely. And that's what a manager definitely wouldn't want to. But then Kashuu thought that his siblings are probably the even better bait for Ichigo.

Hakata is sitting on the table next to them, swinging his legs back and forth and looking at his brother full of anticipation.

"And Namazuo and Honebami, too," Kashuu adds. "And I saw Urashima!"

Ichigo doesn't answer. Something seemed to have snapped in him, the moment Kashuu mentioned Midare.

"Ichi-Nii," Hakata says. "It would be nice to see them again, wouldn't it?"

"If destiny wants you to meet them again, then you will, right?" Kashuu adds with a confident smile. Using his own words against him is a smart idea.

Ichigo sights and averts his eyes, arms folded in front of his chest.

"This must be destiny! That they're all visiting the same school. Let me go there and meet them! I bet they were trying to get in contact with us before!" Kashuu keeps begging. Yeah, he's basically begging at this point.

"Mikazuki told me Yasusada doesn't remember," Ichigo then answers, looking up at Kashuu with a serious expression. Hakata looks surprised when hearing that. He didn't know...

Kashuu bites his lips and clenches his fists. Damn you, Mikazuki!

"Doesn't matter," he says and it's probably his biggest lie ever. But he knows Ichigo good enough by now, to understand his concern. It's a test. Just to see if Kashuu will be able to deal with it. And he WILL! The question is - will Ichigo? Maybe that's the reason why he's not looking for his siblings. Maybe he's just scared they won't remember who he is.

"I still wanna go!" Kashuu repeats. "I WILL go!"

Another sigh of his manager.

But then...

Ichigo nods. "Let me do some phone calls. I'll see what I can arrange."

Kashuu's eyes brighten up instantly and he claps his hands, even doing a little jump at the same time.

"YES! Thank you! Thank you!"

"It's not settled yet!"

"I know, I know. Thank you anyway!"

~

When Kashuu joins the other group members to begin their daily practice, Mikazuki is the first to approach him.

"You look good today. Are you feeling better?" he asks.

"Absolutely!" Kashuu snaps back. "Also thanks for informing Ichigo about what happened, so I didn't have to do that myself."

If sarcasm could literally drip down, Mikazuki might have slipped on it, when Kashuu passes by.

Luckily for the older one, that's not the case and so he reaches out for Kashuu's shoulder to hold him back.

"I was worried," he admits.

Oh?

Kashuu turns around and stares at him sceptically. So much honesty is new.

"After seeing you yesterday evening, is this really so surprising?" Mikazuki adds with a weak smile that makes Kashuu feel almost guilty. Almost!

Kashuu sighs. "I can deal with it," he says.

"Are you sure about that?"

Is he?

"Kashuu, I respect your determination and willpower but please keep in mind that you can not guarantee that his memory will ever come back."

Mikazuki is always good in bringing him down to earth. Almost as if he didn't want him to be up on the moon with him.

"Can I ask one thing?" Kashuu starts and lowers his voice just to make sure.

"Did you never want Kogitsune to remember?"

Mikazuki, surprised at the question, looks behind Kashuu, where at the other end of the gym, said former sword spirit is already going through their dance choreography with Ishikirimaru, Iwatoshi and Imanotsurugi. He watches them for a moment, before turning back to Kashuu with a soft, knowing smile.

"No," is his simple answer.

Kashuu narrows his brows.

"When you are as old as I am," Mikazuki continues. "You tend to forget many things as well." He shrugs and it really looks like he couldn't care less about that. "I don't remember everything that happened in all my lifes, through all those times... and it doesn't matter."

It doesn't...?

"What matters is that we're here now."

Kashuu looks at the other without a word. He hates to admit it, but Mikazuki's words make him sound really, really wise.

"I'm glad, the others are here with me," Mikazuki says, still smiling gently. "I'm glad, you are here, Kashuu Kiyomitsu."

Kashuu lowers his gaze rather shyly at such a statement.

"But this time," Mikazuki continues. "We don't have a master to take care of us." He pats Kashuu's shoulder to make him look up. "So take good care of yourself, will you?"

~

"Thanks for the hard work today!"

"Good job! Good job!"

It's hours later when they're finally done with today's practice and if Kashuu wouldn't be so exhausted, he'd run over to the bench where his water bottle is standing. Non of them has enough energy left to run though. And so he plops down on the bench with a loud sigh before grabbing the bottle.

Why is he even continuing? Now that he found Yasusada. Ah right, because they have obligations and money still doesn't grow on trees.

"In the end of Mistake, there's this one part I keep forgetting," he hears Imanotsurugi saying and dancing on the spot next to Iwatooshi. "How was that?"

How can he still be so full of energy?

"Training is over, oooover!" Iwatooshi jokes and picks the smaller one up from the ground to twirl him around in mid-air, causing the smaller one to let out a high screech and laughter.

"Maaan, I'd be up for a biiiig steak," Kogitsunemaru says of the blue while wiping his forehead with a towel. "Who else?"

"Eating too much meat is not healthy," Ishikirimaru answers and the fox pulls a face at him. "Mikazuki, you'll come with me, right?" he asks the other, who leans over to him, sniffing and then holding his nose with thumb and index finger.

"Not before you shower!"

"Eeeeh? Are you saying I stink? We probably ALL do!" Kogitsunemaru complains and the others start laughing.

Kashuu smiles. Yeah, okay maybe there's more reason to keep doing this. It's fun to hang out with these guys after all.

"Kashuu," he hears someone calling his name, and sees Ichigo walking into the gym.

"Good news for you. You'll be allowed to join school from tomorrow on."

And that's the moment he spits out his water.

~

Yasusada is resting with his head on his arms on the table, trying to ignore Urashima's voice. It's waaay too early to be awake. But that's the same on basically every school day. And Urashima being too loud especially in the morning, is nothing new either. It's only that Yasusada will never get used to it. To none of both.

It's only when their teacher enters the classroom that he gets up and bows in unison with his classmates.

"From today on, we will have a new student joining our class. Please help him to get used to everything," the teacher announces, and with a very quiet voice, he adds: "Though I guess I don't have to tell that to most of you this time..."

Some of Yasusada's classmates probably didn't hear that last part, but Yasusada has quite good ears.

"Anyway- you can come in now."

As soon as the just announced new student enters the classroom, it sounds as if some wild animals have just been released from their cages. The girls let out surprised screams as if they forgot that they're still in school and their teacher is still standing in front of them. Some even get up from their chairs and the calmer ones as well as most guys start to at least whisper excitedly and also confused. As confused as Yasusada is, because, well- he has seen that face before. Actually he sees that face quite often recently and that has only partly to do with the tiny little fact that it belongs to a celebrity.

"My name is Kashuu Kiyomitsu. I hope we'll get along well!" the one standing in front of the class introduces himself with the exact same making-any-girl's-heart-melt-smile that Yasusada has seen on TV last night. It looks fake. Even in real life. But apparently it works. Maybe that's why Kashuu Kiyomitsu is an idol and Yasusada isn't. Not that he would want to, heaven forbid!

"So it's really him?", Yasusada can hear the girls whisper and the murmur within their rows just won't stop.

"I know this must be exciting and quite an unusual situation for most of you, but please don't be importunate and keep your manners."

Their teacher, a rather young one, is probably the best choice to deal with a situation like this, because he knows exactly who to address with his words and shots a sharp gaze in the direction of some girls in the last row, who start giggling in response. He turns around to Kashuu and gestures towards a free seat, next to the window, two rows diagonally behind Yasusada. "Please take a seat."

When Kashuu passes by his desk, Yasusada has a strange feeling. He tried not to think about yesterday's incident, but now it's obviously back in his mind and he keeps wondering what all that was about. And why does an idol like Kashuu Kiyomitsu suddenly appear in their class? Somehow, he has the feeling that this story is just about to begin...

"Quiet please!" their teacher shouts and Yasusada kinda feels pity for Kashuu who has to sit in front of the giggling girls now.

"You can talk during the break. Let's start with today's lesson. Please open your books..."

~

Class has probably never felt longer than today. While the constant whispering and giggling doesn't dies out, Yasusada also gets the feeling that he's stared at from behind during the whole time. At some point when their teacher has to remind the girls to keep quiet, Yasusada dares to look over his shoulder - only to prove his intuition right. Kashuu looks right back at him and when their eyes meet, he sends him a smile way different from the one he showed to the class when introducing himself. Different... but Yasusada can't tell in what way. But it's definitely not how you should smile at a complete stranger. If it'll be like that every day from now on, Yasusada seriously wants to switch seats with someone else.

When the bell rings for lunch break, the girls instantly gather around Kashuu's desk, throwing questions at him and preventing him from going anywhere. Yasusada grabs the chance and makes sure to leave the classroom quickly. For the first time he's the one pulling Urashima along instead of the other way round.

"Wow, wait, wait!" Urashima complains and stops him right in front of the door. "What's wrong with you?"

"He keeps staring at me!" Yasusada huffs through his teeth and Urashima doesn't need to ask who he's talking about.

"Seriously?" he laughs. "Hey, what happened at the concert? Did you secretly become an admirer, like all these girls?"

"That's NOT funny!" Yasusada hisses.

~

"So why are you going to school now?"

"Will you quit TouDan?"

"What about upcoming concerts?"

"Can we meet the others, too?"

Kashuu is bombed with so many questions at once that he doesn't even hear his own voice when starting an attempt to answer them. Wow, fans can be really exhausting when it's not in an organized meet and greet. Still he keeps a smile on his lips all the time, answering as politely and professionally (which means vaguely) as possible. He's used to that after all.

"As much as I enjoy chatting with you girls, I need to find some food for lunch first," he says after a while and gets up from his chair. "But I'm sure we'll have enough time to talk later. I won't run away!"

He winks and waves before quickly escaping out of the classroom.

"Aaah Kiyomitsu! I will make bento for you tomorrow!"

"Me too!"

"Me too!"

Great! At least he won't have to worry about starving at school. Always look at the positive sides of everything, right?

When he leaves the classroom, he doesn't have to look around for too long before spotting Yasusada near the window next to Urashima, Namazuo and Honebami. All of them together. Perfect!

"Yasusada!" he calls him to draw the other's attention while he walks over.

All four boys look at him with rather blank expressions and he almost fears what will come next.

"Uhm... you... probably don't remember who I am either, do you?" he asks the Toushirou brothers and Urashima.

"Of course we do!!" Urashima shouts out and there's a blink of hope in Kashuu's eyes - which is smashed into pieces as soon as the blonde continues talking.

"There's probably no-one in this school who doesn't know you."

"Ah..." Kashuu laughs and scratches his head. "Right..."

So it's true. Non of them remembers their past. After meeting Yasusada, Kashuu has tried to mentally prepare himself for that, but it still makes his heart ache. All those battles they had fought together. All those times they've laughed and cried together. He looks at Yasusada with sad eyes - and Yasusada quickly averts his own ones, almost as if Kashuu's presence makes him feel uncomfortable. It's like a stitch in Kashuu's heart.

"A-anyway," he mumbles. Countless fangirls don't make him lose his train of thoughts, but Yasusada only has to look at him for a second and it's enough for Kashuu to forget what he was about to say.

"They might know me, but I don't... really know anyone here, so... would it be okay if I join you for lunch?"

"Actually we were-" Namazuo starts, but he's interrupted by a rather loud voice shouting from behind them:

"KASHUUUU!!!!"

And before Kashuu can turn around, someone jumps right onto his back. Wait, someone who has faster reflexes than he does? That can only be-

"Midare?!" Kashuu, Urashima and the Toushirou brothers shout out at the same time as Midare plops down on the ground next to Kashuu, smiling cheerfully and grabbing both of his hands, shaking them violently.

"It's so, so, SOOOOO good to see you!! Actually I saw you yesterday at the gate, but then it got so crowded and I didn't get a chance to talk to you in private, so-"

Wait-! Wait, wait, wait! Does that mean, that-

"You haven't forgotten me, have you?" Midare grins selfconfidently. "How could you forget your favorite Tantou, thehe!"

Midare remembers!

"You remember?!" Kashuu shouts out his thoughts and his face brightens up instantly.

"Of course, I do! I've been to all your concerts but it seems my attempt to reach you guys through god knows how many letters, didn't work out."

Kashuu mentally plans to record it on video when he will tell Ichigo that Midare tried exactly what Kashuu was hoping for Yasusada to do. But for now he just happily pulls Midare in a hug.

"It's so good to see you."

"Ehm... chrm..."

They only pull back when they hear Urashima fake coughing next to them and when they turn around, the whole small group looks at them more than puzzled.

They can hear some other students whispering around them as well and it's only then that they notice that a group of people gathered around them curiously.

"Isn't that Midare Toushirou from class B?"

"Hugging Kashuu Kiyomitsu?"

"What the hell?"

Ah, well...

"Uhm... you were about to go somewhere?" Kashuu quickly asks back.

"Yeah but there's not much space," Yasusada interrupts grumpily. Seriously, he can imagine better things than being surrounded by this guy's fangirls during lunch.

But then Urashima steps right in front of Kashuu.

"Of course you can join us!" he decides without asking the others. "Midare-chan, you will come with us, too, right? Right?"

"Sure!" Midare answers with an angelic smile and Yasusada knows, he will get to hear detailed poetic descriptions of this smile from his best friend for weeks... He sighs and rolls his eyes before turning around as they all make their way out of the crowd.

"Pssst- why didn't you tell me, he knows Midare?" Urashima whispers and hits Yasusada's side with his ellbow while they're on their way to the rooftop.

"I don't know, okay?" Yasusada hisses back, making sure that the others, walking in front of them won't hear them. They probably won't because they're busy talking like old friends who haven't seen each other for centuries - which they basically are. "I told you, I don't know this guy! He mistook me!"

"He sure doesn't act like that!" Urashima mumbles and the tone in his voice makes clear, he feels kinda betrayed by his best friend.

~

"Namazuo and Honebami are my cousins," Midare explains after they all sat down on the ground in the sun. It's a bit windy at the roof but still warm and they're not surrounded by Kashuu's fans here.

"But we're not in the same class."

"More important question!" Urashima shouts out while the others start eating. "How do YOU two know each other?" He points at Kashuu and Midare with his mini sausage on a stick and with his mouth full of rice.

"Oh aehm..."

They both look at each other for a moment, mentally begging each other to come up with a nice idea.

"We've been..." Kashuu starts. "Uhm..."

"Childhood friends!" Midare says.

Urashima keeps looking sceptically. "So you two are not... uhm-" He feels way too shy around Midare to finish the sentence but his gesture of two octopus sausages kissing is more than obvious.

Kashuu chokes on his orange juice while Midare starts laughing.

"Us? Dating? Ahahaha! Nooooway! As if I'd ever dare to touch Yasusada's b-"

Wooops!

Yasusada looks up from his bento box when he hears his name. So far, he didn't really listen to the conversation.

"B-b-" Midare stutters. "BENTO!" And with that, she leans over and steals one of Yasusada's sushi rolls.

"Heeey!"

Ah... that was close!

Honebami quietly shots them a glare. Suspicious...

Only Urashima looks very relieved now. He doesn't care about the rest of their connection as long as they're not dating.

~

"I can't believe Nii-san didn't even search for us!" Midare huffs angrily while they're on their way towards Ichigo's house after school.

"He has a strange way of thinking about us being reborn like that," Kashuu sighs. "I don't know why but sometimes I get the feeling he's scared."

"Scared, hah?! Well, I'm gonna give him a good talking! He has all reason to be scared!"

Kashuu chuckles.

"It's good to see you," he says. "At least someone who remembers..."

Midare looks at him worriedly while they keep walking.

"I can imagine how it must feel," she finally says with a serious voice.

"When I met Namazuo and Honebami and realized they don't remember who I am..."

She shakes her head and sighs.

"But you see? Now we're still close again. Even if they can't remember. I'm sure our bonds are much stronger than our memory. I'm sure you and Yasusada can become just as close again!"

Kashuu laughs ironically.

"With how he seems to avoid me, I'm not too sure about that."

"Don't be so pessimistic! You got ME now! I'm gonna make it woooork, trust me!"

He tries to smile even if he doesn't feel like it.

"Thank you..."

They arrive at Ichigo's house so Kashuu ends their chat before he rings the bell. They didn't have any training today and Ichigo has no clue who will await him.

When he opens the door, he cannot manage more than just staring at Midare but a second later, she jumps right into his arms.

"Nii-san!! Nii-saaaan!"

The loud sobbing noises make Kashuu grin. So much about giving him a good talking, huh?

Just a moment later, Hakata appears in the doorframe too and hugs both his sibling as he starts crying out of happiness, too.

He looks up at Kashuu with a big smile, his lips forming the words "Thank you!"

Kashuu nods back with a smile. He feels a little lost, standing there watching their heartwarming reunion. He's happy for them, of course! But it also makes him think about Yasusada again. If only Yasusada would have reacted the same way when Kashuu ran into his arms. There it is once more - that stitch in his heart.

"Well... I'm gonna leave you alone for now," he says and just waves at the others. His job is done here.

~

It's later that evening and Kashuu just got out of the shower when he hears his phone vibrating. He walks over to the table in the living room and picks it up.

The display shows a message from Midare.

"Thx 4 2day. Dont worry bout Yasusu. I got a plan XOXO!! (^o-)"

"A plan?" he repeats and raises a brow.

Then he types back: "Tell me about it!"

Chapter Text

"YASUSADA! GOOD MORNING!"

Yasusada shots up from his desk and almost falls when Urashima slams both hands onto his friend's desk.

"I NEED YOUR HELP!"

"Oh wow, that's a first," Yasusada says and yawns behind his hand. "What is it?"

He expects something like "I didn't finish my homework" or maybe "Please explain this to me" but...

"I HAVE A DATE WITH MIDARE!"

That's a surprise, indeed!

"Ah, congrats then, I guess," Yasusada says, trying to look not that unimpressed when he's actually wondering how the hell did that happen.

"Thanks! Well that's not why I'm telling you. Thing is - you have to come with me!"

And that's the moment, he gets Yasusada's full attention. Not in a positive way though.

"What? Why should I go with you, when you go on a DATE?"

Isn't the purpose of a date to be alone? Maybe Urashima didn't quite catch that part.

But the blonde in front of him quickly shakes his head.

"No, no, no, it's not like that! Look! Midare is shyyyy!"

Yasusada starts laughing. Yeah, absolutely... not!

"We cannot go alone. That would be way too embarrassing and the whole atmosphere would be so tensed! So she asked me if I'll ask you to come along. She will bring a friend too, so it will be more relaxing, right, right? Makes sense!"

It doesn't.

Yasusada sighs and leans back on his chair.

"You know what happened last time, you asked me for a favour..."

"Yeah, you got to know a celebrity!"

"More like a stalker!"

And as if called for, in that moment, Kashuu enters the classroom.

"Good morning!" he chirps cheerfully and it doesn't take a second until several girls get up and surround him on his short way to his desk.

"Good morning, Kiyomitsu-san! I made bento for you!"

"Good morning! I have bento for you, too. I hope you like it."

"Kiyomitsu-san, what will you do during lunch? Can I join you?"

"Aaaagh..."

Yasusada makes an annoyed sound in response to the gibberish behind him, and lets his forehead fall onto his desk.

"I hate... everything!"

~

The sun shines brightly and the sky is clear blue on this beautiful sunday in spring. The sound of music mixes with the voices of children running around, laughing cheerfully and many people passing by them, chatting, eating cotton candy and enjoying their day in the amusement park.

In midst of all this there are two boys, one of them looking around nervously and excitedly, the other standing still with his hands in his pockets and looking rather unimpressed.

"Why am I here?" Yasusada mumbles to himself, while Urashima next to him repeats what he's been mumbling for the past fifteen minutes.

"Is that her? Ah, no it's not."

He gets on his tiptoes as if it would make any difference and shields his eyes from the sun as he keeps searching the crowd.

"What if she forgot it? What time is it?"

"We still have some minutes," Yasusada answers. "You insisted on coming here way too early."

Why can he never say "No"? It's not that he wouldn't like amusement parks, it's just... he's not in the mood to listen to Urashima's swooning the whole day and he's also not in the mood to interfere in this slowly building up romance. But maybe he's just too good. He should really learn how to refuse.

"Sorry to make you waaait!" he finally hears Midare's voice and when he turns around, he sees his best friend's crush approaching them. Next to-

Kashuu Kiyomitsu?!

"YOU?" Yasusada shouts out, before realizing how rude that must have sounded.

In response to that, Kashuu's greeting sounds a bit more insecure as he comes off in class and when surrounded by his fan girls. "H-hi!"

Well, Midare did say she will bring a friend. There has never been any mention of WHO said friend might be.

Still, for some reason, Yasusada feels kinda tricked.

"So, where do you wanna go first? I need something faaast!" Midare suggests.

And so they follow the blonde towards the first attraction. Yasusada, walking behind Midare and Kashuu, grabs Urashima's arm and pinches his skin with his nails.

"Outsch!" the other turns around and looks at his friend. "What was that for?"

"You knew that, didn't you?" Yasusada hisses.

"I didn't! Jeez and even if - calm down a little! He never did anything to you, did he?"

Thinking about it... True, Yasusada musts admit, Kashuu never did anything to him. Apart from jumping at him like a maniac at their first meeting. It's just- something about him is strange. And Yasusada is not talking about his black sunglasses and the cap, all probably to prevent being recognized at a public place like this. Yasusada is glad, he's not famous. Must be annoying...

"Can we try this one, can we?" Midare stops in front of the rollercoaster and Urashima looks up at the impressive height. "Ugh..."

"Are you scaaaared?"

"I'm n-not! Of course not!"

Midare starts laughing.

"What about you?", Kashuu asks Yasusada.

"It's just a rollercoaster. No need to be scared."

"I knew you'd say that."

Oh really? Why? And why does he keep smiling at him like that?

"Okay then if nobody is scared, then let's goooo!"

~

"Maybe he collapsed," Kashuu comments.

He, Yasusada and Midare are standing near the toilet rooms, waiting for Urashima, who ran there right after they got down of the rollercoaster.

"Might be," Yasusada says with a look on his wrist watch. It's been a while since Urashima disappeared. "He has a weak stomach."

If Urashima could hear him, he'd probably say that it's only because of the nervouseness.

"Hmmm, I'm worried... Should we check on him?" Midare wonders. "Maybe we should eat something. Having something in your stomach always helps."

Yasusada doubts that Urashima will be able to eat anything as long as Midare is around but personally, he wouldn't mind eating something.

"I wouldn't mind eating something," Kashuu says and Yasusada frowns when the other voices exactly his thoughts.

"Should I get us some hotdogs? Will bring one for Urashima too, just in case."

On a sunny day like that, the amusement park is rather crowded so it's probably not a bad idea to split up and already line up for food while the rest waits for Urashima to come back to life.

"You cannot carry four hotdogs alone. Oh and I also want a coke. Yasusada, you can help him and find a place to sit. We'll join you as soon as possible," Midare decides quickly how to split them up and again Yasusada has the feeling, they're just plotting something.

Nevertheless, he doesn't complain. He hardly ever complains. He should really work on that. That's what he thinks while leaving Midare behind and walking over to the nearest hotdog booth together with Kashuu.

Kashuu feels just as weird around Yasusada as the other way round but for completely different reasons. He knows everything about the person next to him, but still he's forced to act like a stranger, when for him it would be the most normal thing ever to just walk hand in hand with him. Instead there's this awkward silence as if you desperately want to talk but don't know how to start.

While they line up, Yasusada takes out his wallet and starts checking his coins.

"Ah, it's fine, those are on me," Kashuu offers and makes Yasusada look up at him.

"You don't need to," he says.

"Uhm, but I want to."

Is he trying to show off with his money or what? Yasusada eyes him sceptically, but then puts his wallet back.

"Fine, whatever."

And there it is again, the silence.

Why is this queue so long?

"I didn't get a chance to say it yet," Kashuu finally manage to collect enough courage to bring up a certain matter.

"Sorry for... uhm... how I attacked you at the gate."

"It's fine," Yasusada answers monotonous. He really doesn't seem to care much. And Kashuu wishes he would. He'd rather see Yasusada showing any kind of emotion when it comes to Kashuu. But he doesn't seem to have any interest in him, not the slightest bit. And that breaks Kashuu's heart slowly, bit by bit. He looks at Yasusada while the other's gaze is wandering around, looking at the surrounding, at other people, at the sky... at anything except Kashuu. How the hell should they ever become close again?

"Kiyomitsu!"

"Huh?"

"What do you wanna drink?"

Oh, he didn't notice it's finally their turn and Yasusada already ordered their hotdogs.

"Tea please," Kashuu answers at the booth guy and then turns back at Yasusada.

"Did you already order yours? Ah, I bet you want tea too, you always drink tea."

And so he turns back at the seller and finishes their order, while Yasusada looks at him from the side, eyebrows narrowed.

They take all the ordered stuff and walk around in search for a place to sit. After a while they manage to find a free bench and place the food and drinks between them after sitting down.

"How do you know-?" Yasusada finally asks, while Kashuu starts eating his hotdog.

"Mh-?"

"That I always drink tea."

It's only then when Kashuu remembers he just started going to the same class a few days ago and technically couldn't know Yasusada's habits ore likings.

"Ah that..." He laughs a little nervously. "Wasn't hard to guess since you basically like all food and stuff."

...is he an idiot?

Probably.

Meanwhile Yasusada wonders if Urashima told him. Or did it come up during lunch break the other day and he just forgot?

~

"Hffff, that won't work..." Midare sighs while huddling behind some bush nearby with a good view through the branches and at Kashuu and Yasusada who are sitting on the bench and eating without talking much.

"U-uhm Midare?" Urashima, still rubbing his stomach, crouches behind her in the grass, looking rather troubled out of many reasons. Sitting behind a bush with his crush is only one of them.

"What exactly are we doing here?" he asks.

"Take a guess! Playing cupid of course!" Midare says without turning around. "Aaah, we need another plan."

"Playing cupid? What do you mean? I don't think- ah-"

He words are cut off when Midare gets up and pulls him out of the bush.

"Hey hey, thanks for buying food for uuuus!" she greets the other two boys and plops down on the bench, grabbing one of the still packed hotdogs and the coke.

"Wanna go to the haunted house next?"

~

Midare is not easily scared. Kashuu knows that. Because when they were all living in the citadel together with the saniwa, Tsurumaru often told them horror stories and Midare got excited but definitely not scared.

"Aaah, I'm scaaared!" she screams and clings to Urashima's arm - the poor guy, what if he will have a heart attack?

They did barely enter the haunted house which turns out to be a maze, dark enough to get lost an still with enough flickering lights to see the jump scares and actors disguised as zombies or monsters, spooking the visitors.

"Let's hold hands, I don't wanna get lost here!"

What a lame trick and what impressive acting skills. Midare surely deseves an award for that.

"A-ah sure, let's hold hands!" Urashima repeats and gladly accepts the offer to take Midare's hand but quickly grabs Yasusada's too, just to make sure it won't come off as suspicious. How cute...

Kashuu hesitates, not sure if such a lame attempt will really work but then again... he looks down at Yasusada's free hand, while the other is walking in front of him, being pulled along by Urashima, who is following Midare through the darkness. Then again, god knows when and if he'll ever get a chance like this again. It would be rude to let Midare's effort be in vain.

That's what he tells himself before reaching out for Yasusada's free hand.

He can see Yasusada turning his head to look back over his shoulder. But it's too dark to see the expression on his face and it's only for a second before he turns around again. He doesn't shake him off though. And that's already so much more than Kashuu could ask for.

Yasusada's hand feels warm and so familiar and it reminds him of how often he has held it.

Countless mornings when they had woken up next to each other, Yasusada smiling at him sleepily but his eyes full of love. He often took Kashuu's hand and wrote onto the open palm with his index finger. Messages like "Good morning" or "I love you" or "Let's not get up yet." All these memories are flowing through his head and he doesn't notice how he squeezes Yasusada's hand more. He only knows it's not enough. It's all he could ask for but by far not enough. He wants to embrace him, hold him close, kiss him and never let go.

But instead, he just keeps following wordlessly, hearing Midare screeching at the fake monsters in front of them, and he couldn't care less about any of those. If it was up to him, they'd get lost in this maze forever.

Sadly, as he knows from from his past lifes, nothing lasts forever. And so they are back in the bright sunlight only a few minutes later and he reluctantly lets go of Yasusada's hand.

"That was fun!" Midare laughs. "What's next?"

~

They check out several other attractions and Urashima refuses to eat for the rest of the day, even when the rest of them gets ice cream and cotton candy. He's probably too scared that he might end up puking right in front of his crush. But apart from that he seems to enjoy himself. And so does Midare. They seem to get along well and if even Yasusada who usually doesn't pay much attention, notices that, then it must be true. He's happy for them, not only because Urashima's whining is even worse than his fan boying. If he had to pick, the choice would be easy. Jokes aside, he's happy if his friend is, after all.

When the sun goes down and colors the sky in beautiful shades of red, orange and pink, they're all getting a bit more quiet, exhausted from walking around the whole day.

Midare looks at Yasusada and Kashuu, both walking with their hands in their pockets and looking around aimlessly. The development on this side is actually non-existant. But there must be something... anything.

"We didn't go there yet!" Midare suddenly says and points upwards.

When three pairs of eyes follow her index finger, they see the ferris wheel right in front of them.

"It looks best at this time of the day. Shall we go?"

As they approach the giant ferris wheel, Urashima suddenly stops

"Eeeh?! Those gondolas are super small!!"

Midare tries not to grin. "Oooh what a pity! I didn't know that!"

Yes she did!

"Seems like we have to split up again then." Ah well, it shouldn't be a problem right? They've been on many attractions today where they had to split up in pairs of two.

"It's okay, I don't really need that," Yasusada says, arms folded in front of his chest as he leans against one of the barriers. "I'll wait here."

"Eeeh? Oh come on, don't be so boring! Do you want Kashuu to go alone? That would be unfair!"

Kashuu can't deny that he would like to go onto the ferris wheel with Yasusada but then again, maybe Midare is trying too much at this point. If he thinks about ferris wheels in the sunset, it does sound quite romantic. Kissing while being at the very top... it's not something they could do right now, so maybe...

"It's fine," he interrupts Midare's attempt to persuade Yasusada.

"I don't need it either. We'll wait here."

He's smiling at Midare who looks at him worriedly and it's way too obvious that this smile isn't honest.

"Well, if you say so..." Midare mumbles a little disapointedly but then turns around to line up with Urashima.

And here they go again. Trapped in awkard silence...

While their day was actually really funny and he's glad to spend time with Yasusada, now that it's coming to an end, he feels the emptiness in his heart so painfully even if the one his heart is longing for is standing right next to him. He remembers Iwatooshi's comforting words. And also Midare's. Right, the most important thing is, he got him back. He found him. But the way he treats him is so unbearable for Kashuu.

"So what exactly is it?" Yasusada suddenly asks, eyes still up at the ferris wheel.

"Huh?" Kashuu asks confused and turns to look at him.

"What exactly do you think I've forgotten?"

The question has actually been on Yasusada's mind the whole day. No, the whole time ever since that day when Kashuu pulled him in a hug so out of the blue. "You're not acting as if you think you mistook me for someone else. You're acting as if you know me."

Ah, shit...

Kashuu doesn't want to lie to him, but then again, he can't possibly say the truth either. Or... can he? Maybe he can! Wait, maybe he SHOULD! It's not like he has anything to loose, right? It's worth a try at least.

"Do you believe in reincarnation?" he finally decides to ask.

Yasusada turns away from the ferris wheel and looks right into Kashuu's eyes as if they had the answer to his question.

And then he starts laughing.

Kashuu feels his ears getting warm out of embarrassment.

"O-oi, don't laugh!" he says but Yasusada doesn't stop and suddenly Kashuu realizes that this is what makes Yasusada feel so distant now, compared to back then. He didn't laugh. Not a single time up until now. The past days, during school, Kashuu hasn't seen him laughing, hardly ever smiling. While the Yasusada he knew was usually smiling all the time. He had missed that smile, he had missed hearing Yasusada laugh.

"Ah, okay, keep laughing then," he changes his mind.

"But it's true! I know you from our previous lifes. Call me crazy if you want to. I don't care." And with that he folds his arms in front of his chest, nodding to underline his statement.

That's when Yasusada stops laughing and looks at him rather puzzled.

"Wait, you seriously mean it?" he asks. He did say Kashuu is a bit weird but... this is too weird!

Yasusada gets only more confused when Kashuu looks so serious about it.

"I absolutely mean it!" Kashuu repeats. Now that he started this, he can't possibly go back anyway. And he doesn't want to. Let's face it, he wouldn't be able to play this game for too long anyway.

"That's why I know basically everything about you. Go ahead, ask me anything! I bet I will know!"

Yasusada looks more then skeptically. Obviously he doesn't believe a single word, but he decides to play along anyway.

"Is that so? Hmm... Then... what's my favorite color?"

"Blue."

Okay, maybe that was a bit too easy.

"You could easily guess that because of what I wear," he says, looking at the blue and white striped shirt he's wearing. Kashuu shrugs and looks at him almost challenging, ready to answer more questions. But Yasusada isn't good in coming up with random facts about himself. Probably because he doesn't think of himself as any special or interesting.

"How about my favorite animal then?"

"You like all animals," Kashuu answers without hesitating. "But I'd say you like dogs the most. You like cats as well and it always leaves you frustrated because they keep running away from you. And whenever I picked one up for you to pet it, you'd start sneezing and end up getting scratched."

Maybe he's risking a bit too much with that, because who knows if it's still the same, but-

Yasusada stares at him with his brows narrowed, not saying anything for a second.

Because it's true.

How...?

"Did Urashima tell you that? Or Midare?"

Kashuu sighs. This will get them absolutely nowhere.

"It's okay," he says with a smile but somehow he looks disappointed.

"I'll try to deal with this even if you don't remember. I'm happy I can at least be with you again."

Yasusada's eyes widen and he can feel how Kashuu's words make him nervous. He sounds so serious about all this. And it seems to mean so much to him. Yasusada seems to mean so much to him! And that confuses him, flusters him...

"Just," Kashuu continues. "Please don't treat me like some creepy stalker, okay?" He tries to keep smiling even if he doesn't feel like it at all. "Because I'm not."

"I just want to stay with you," he adds in his mind while Yasusada's eyes meet his as if trying to figure out the meaning behind Kashuu's words and Kashuu can't help letting his own gaze wander a bit lower, towards Yasusada's lips...

"Wow, when did it get so dark?"

Kashuu startles when he hears a voice directly behind him and when he turns around, Urashima is standing behind them, Midare slightly behind him and making a face that could be translated as "Worst timing ever!" But Urashima doesn't seem to notice. His face is all red and Yasusada can imagine why. Whatever happened at the ferris wheel must have been quite nice.

"Should we go back?" Yasusada asks.

"Yeah, guess it's about time," Midare agrees. "It's been a long day. But could you wait a second? I just need to go to the toilet." She points at the toilet rooms which are just a few metres away on the other side of the path.

"Sure."

"I'll be right back." And with a wink at Urashima, Midare scurries over to the public restroom, disappearing in the entrance with the sign for male on the door.

"Uhm- Midare, you-" Urashima shouts but the other is already out of view, so he turns around at Kashuu and Yasusada.

"She went into the wrong one!"

"Eh?" Kashuu blinks. "Why?"

...

...

"Oh? You didn't now Midare is a guy?!"

And that's when Yasusada starts laughing again.

Chapter Text

"Urashima? Hey-!"

Kashuu pokes the blonde's head to see if he'll show any sign of life and finally there is one. A frustrated grumble can be heard but Urashima doesn't make any effort to raise his head from his desk.

"Oi, you're still sulking because of Midare?" Kashuu sighs. "I swear I had no clue you didn't know. Midare has aaaalways liked skirts so I wasn't even surprised seeing him in one even at school."

"Uuughh..." is all, Urashima replies.

In their previous lifes, Urashima has liked Midare too, despite them all being males but Kashuu obviously can't bring that up. He doesn't even know if it was a good idea to tell Yasusada the truth, so it's probably better not to risk it again.

"Come ooon! There are enough other cute girls in this school- wah-!" Kashuu almost falls backwards off his chair when all of a sudden, Urashima's head shots up.

"I'm gay!" he sobs desperately - and also a bit too loud because some other students turn around and start laughing. Kashuu who is standing in front of Urashima's desk pats his shoulder.

"It's okay," he says. "Could be worse."

Urashima hides his face with both hands and sobs dramatically. "I didn't think I'd be gay. I mean I like girls. But I like Midare, too..."

Kashuu sighs. It has been going like that the whole day and he doubts Urashima will stop whining any time soon, so...

"Anyway," Kashuu decides to change the topic. "Where did Yasusada go? He left the classroom so quickly." So quickly, while Kashuu has been distracted by some girls who tried to chat with him.

"Ah right, you don't know..." Urashima says, sounding rather bored at this topic. "He's in the kendo club. So when there are club activities he's usually heading to the gym right after class."

"Kendo?" Kashuu repeats, but then he smiles. Why is he even surprised. "Hmm... sounds like a nice chance to cross blades again."

Urashima eyes him skeptically. "You plan to challenge him? Good luck! You will need it."

"Is that so?" Kashuu asks with a knowing grin.

"Absolutely! I don't know much about these things but everyone knows that kendo is basically Yasusada's life! And he's damn great in that! Has already won tournaments and stuff. They go as far as calling him a prodigy."

That's when Kashuu starts laughing and thus earning a confused look from Urashima.

"I'm really not surprised," Kashuu says. "Thanks for telling me. See you later, Urashima!"

And with that he dashes out of the classroom to catch up with Yasusada.

~

When he enters the gym, he finds the manager of the kendo club first. He hasn't seen this girl before but considering how nervous she acts, she knows who Kashuu is. He tells her that he hasn't decided on any club yet and just wants to take a look, so she shows him the way to the changing rooms.

When Kashuu walks in, there's no-one else in the room, only piles of clothes and bags standing around and noise can be heard from inside the gym. He doesn't have any other clothes with him so he's about to leave through the door leading to the main hall, but then something catches his eyes.

He stops and walks over to one of the bags, squatting down in front of the bench it's standing on. His smile has something dreamy in it when his hand reaches out for a keychain with a familiar crest on it.

"Okita..." He's not surprised to find that on Yasusada's bag.

"What are you doing?"

"Wuah-!"

Kashuu falls backwards onto his butt and when he looks up, Yasusada glares down at him.

"A-ah? I-it's not how it looks like!"

"Not a creepy stalker, huh?" Yasusada grumbles, refering to Kashuu's own words from the day before.

"I'm sorry! I just saw that keychain, that's all."

"Why are you even here?"

"Oh!" Yes, that's a better topic. Kashuu grins confidently. "I wanna challenge you!"

Yasusada looks up from his bag, staring at him with a serious face and for a second or two it looks as if he turned into stone. But then he starts chuckling.

"O-oi, don't laugh! I'm being serious here!"

"You're trying really hard, aren't you?"

In fact, Yasusada is still wondering why Kashuu is so interested in him. A complete stranger...

"Does that mean you won't accept my challenge?" Kashuu asks, putting his hands on his hips, grinning provokingly. "Are you scared?"

Yasusada frown. "Do you have any experience in kendo?" he asks.

Oh well... technically.

Kashuu shrugs. "Uhm, how should I say? Not exactly in modern kendo but..."

Yasusada looks amused when he eyes him with one brow narrowed and a lopsided sneer on his lips.

"Don't worry, I know how to use a sword! Just let me show you, okay?"

The other sighs as he closes the zipper of his bag and turns around.

"Kendo isn't a game," he says while walking back into the gym, Kashuu following him like a dog. "You could get injured."

Is he actually worrying about Kashuu getting injured? The possibility alone is enough to make Kashuu's heart do a little jump.

"Trust me, I won't!" he keeps begging. "Just gimme a sword!"

The other members of the kendo club are looking at them while Yasusada walks over to pick up his own shinai. Kashuu gets their attention easily even if some of them might not recognize him as the member of a famous boy band, because he's the only one in the gym not wearing a kendo uniform.

"He wants to try?" One of the other boys shouts and laughs. "Why not let him? Come on Captain, entertain us while the teacher is not here yet!"

Without a warning, one of the other guys throws a bamboo sword and also a mask at Kashuu who catches both easily. It's not like he ever had to worry about his reflexes.

Yasusada keeps looking sceptically. It's too dangerous. And they will be in trouble when their teacher arrives. But then again, Kashuu's attitute is really getting on his nerves. Talking about kendo as if it was some easy way of having fun... He kinda WANTS to give him a good lecture.

"Fine," he finally says, even if the uneasy feeling in his chest remains. He puts on the mask and takes stance.

Kashuu puts on the mask as well, even if he doubts he will need it. As soon as he got into position, one of the boys who gathered around them curiously, shouts to give the starting command.

What follows, leaves all their watchers speachless and with their mouth as wide open as their eyes.

Yasusada is surprised too, when his first attack is blocked - but okay, maybe Kashuu does have some experience he didn't tell Yasusada about. Or maybe it was just luck. That possibility vanishes quickly though when Kashuu blocks every other hit just as easily and with every new sound of the shinai clashing together, Yasusada's heart beats faster. What is this feeling?!

He's forced backwards when Kashuu starts an attempt to attack as well. He manages to block it but only because it's so similar to the way he swings his own sword. Under the mask, his expression tenses and under his gloves, his hands start sweating. For a moment, he forgets the gym around them and the other members of the kendo club watching them and that Kashuu isn't wearing any armor apart from the mask and his hits get faster, more serious, more energetic.

Kashuu on the other hand is grinning under his mask. It's fun! So much fun, he didn't have since ages. Damn, how did he miss fighting against Yasusada? No-one else has ever been a worthy opponent. These bamboo swords feel different from his own, once real body, but in this life, he doesn't possess his sword anymore. He didn't even touch a sword the past seventeen years but his heart, his soul IS still a sword. So how to swing one is something he will never forget.

What brings both of them back to reality isn't anyone's victory or defeat but the voice of the boy who had also given the start signal.

Yasusada takes down his shinai and pushes the mask up and off his head. He's staring at Kashuu confusedly while catching his breath.

Kashuu looks into deep blue and couldn't be happier because this is the first time since they met again, that he can see something like respect in Yasusada's eyes.

"How long have you been doing kendo?" he then asks and Kashuu grins.

"Told you, I never did," he answered.

The guys around them start whispering.

Yasusada seems to be at a loss of words for a moment, but then he huffs and nods.

"Fair enough," he gives up. "I have to admit, that wasn't bad."

Not bad?? Nobody of the kendo club ever managed to keep up with Yasusada like that! But he won't give him that satisfaction.

"I thought all you can do is hopping around on a stage and sing cheesy love songs. I take that back."

Kashuu almost spits at those words.

"H-HOPPING AROUND?!"

So that's what he's thinking about Kashuu's career? How mean!

"It's not hopping around! Dancing and singing is not that easy either, okay?"

Yasusada doesn't seem to be that interested. He already turned away to take a sip of his water bottle.

"Heeey! Don't ignore me now!" Kashuu huffs and walks after him.

"How about you try that, too? Let's see how well you would do!"

Yasusada looks at him with a frown.

"What are you talking about?"

Kashuu reaches out his arm, pointing his index finger right at Yasusada's chest.

"I challenge you to karaoke!"

Yasusada almost spits out his water, but then laughs and shakes his head. He hates karaoke. He knows he can't sing at all and that makes it way too embarrassing.

But sadly there are still all the other members of the club curiously surrounding them and interfering now.

"Well, that would only be fair, wouldn't it?" one of them jokes. "He did a good job fighting you. You shouldn't duck out now only because it's not exactly your forte."

What?

Yasusada bites his lower lip. He doesn't want to look like a wimp in front of these guys. He's their captain after all!

"I did do a good job," Kashuu grins teasingly. "Don't you think I deserve a chance to proof that my work isn't just a game either?"

Yasusada hesitates and looks around a little helplessly but sadly all his club members suddenly seem to be on Kashuu's side. Such backstabbers!

He let's out a sigh. "Okay, okay..."

So much about learning how to say "No"...

~

After kendo practice, Yasusada sneaks out of the gym almost carefully, looking around as if hoping that Kashuu has forgotten about meeting there. Maybe he can still escape the disgrace and just go home quickly.

"Yasusada!"

Damn!

He twitches at the shouting of his name and turns around, just to see Kashuu come running with a big smile.

"Thanks for waiting!"

Yasusada didn't wait. Actually Kashuu did. But he won't say that.

"You're ready? Let's go then!"

"Ah... yeah, sure."

Why can he never say "No"?

When they walk towards the gate, Yasusada has the feeling that more eyes are resting on him than usually. Usually would mean non at all to be precicely. But it's not hard to guess that the reason for being stared at is the person walking next to him. Kashuu doesn't seem to care at all though. How can it not bother him to be the center of attention everywhere he goes? Is he so used to it? Yasusada would go crazy at some point!

For a while they walk next to each other quietly, and even if the stares get less the further they distance themselves from the school building, Yasusada's tenseness doesn't go away and he doesn't know why. He always feels weirdly tensed around Kashuu.

"We don't have to go to karaoke if you don't want to," Kashuu suddenly breaks the silence.

"Huh?"

"I know you're not good at singing," Kashuu laughs. "No need to prove that. It was actually just an excuse to coax you to go out with me."

"G-go out?!"

Go out like in... dating?! Yasusada feels so dumb right now. Maybe if he wasn't so naive, he could have gotten the hint earlier.

Kashuu can literally see Yasusada's brain working and probably thinking about how to get out of this situation. It hurts Kashuu that tricks like that are even necessary to get Yasusada to spend time with him. But he doesn't want to give up anyway. Even if he loses all his pride trying to get Yasusada back. He did love him, back then! So he can fall in love again, right?!

"I'll treat you for dinner!" Kashuu quickly says just when Yasusada opened his mouth.

Oh? Dinner doesn't sound bad to be honest. Yasusada can always eat but especially after sports he can't deny he's damn hungry! But then again, Kashuu probably just wants to show off with his money again and he's just bribing him with food.

"See it as an apology, okay?" Kashuu keeps trying. "For making you look like a fool in front of your club members."

"I didn't look like a fool!" Yasusada insists and doesn't know how cute his pouting face looks to Kashuu.

"Ha ha, whatever! Now come on, don't be so stubborn and come with me!" Without thinking, he grabs Yasusada's sleeve and pulls on it to make him follow. Yasusada rolls his eyes with a sigh and gives in.

Why does he even do that? Why does it seems so natural when Kashuu drags him along? Is he just so used to being pushed around from Urashima? But usually he doesn't let strangers order him around. He thinks about Kashuu's words in the amusement park. Reincarnation... He remembers the strange feeling he had when seeing him on stage for the first time. The way Kashuu talks to him like to someone way closer. The way he knows things he couldn't know. It all makes Yasusada's head spin.

"I'm sorry to drag you somewhere so isolated," Kashuu says while they're on the elevator to some restaurant Yasusada has never heard of. It's true, he expected something like Mc Donalds instead. "But even I need some privacy now and then." Fair enough. Yasusada would be the last person blaming him for that.

When they enter the restaurant and the waiter in a formal suit guides them to a table next to the window, Yasusada once more realizes they're living in different worlds. He can easily tell only from looking at the interior and the whole atmosphere that this is a place where he couldn't afford food unless he spent his allowance of several months. It makes him feel a bit uncomfortable but he tries not to show it.

"I like this place mostly because of the view," Kashuu says after they sat down. He's looking out of the window and at the lights of the city beneath them. If it wasn't dark yet, Yasusada would probably feel dizzy because of the height. Instead he turns to watch Kashuu, who seems to be lost in thoughts. He's really pretty, Yasusada thinks once more. While it's common knowledge that celebrities are always photoshopped to look as flawless as possible in photos and magazines, Kashuu doesn't need that. He's a natural beauty with his pale skin, almond eyes and full lips.

"But of course also because of the food. It's really good!" Kashuu laughs and Yasusada twitches when he's suddenly returning his gaze.

"Ah, right..." He wouldn't expect anything less from a place like this.

"So," Yasusada starts. "Care to explain how you became so good in kendo?"

Kashuu rests his head on his hands, elbows on the table as he smirks at him with piercing eyes like a cat on the hunt. "Maaaagic!"

Yasusada pulls a face and wants to add something but they're interrupted by the waiter asking for their order. Quickly Yasusada opens the menu - he didn't even take a look yet and when he sees the prices, he really thinks his eyes are popping out! But before he can search the cheapest one to pick, Kashuu already starts ordering. A lot!

"You're fine with what I picked, aren't you?" he asks Yasusada only when the waiter already left and Yasusada nods.

Kashuu smiles. "Just wanted to make sure. Who knows, could have been that your taste changed after all those years. Do you still dislike oyster? When we talked about food yesterday in the park, I forgot to mention that. It's the only thing I remember you never liked."

Yasusada stares at him with a serious expression but without any word which makes Kashuu wonder if he said something wrong.

"How?" Yasusada finally asks, the tone in his voice making clear he's not up for jokes about magic. "Right now, you ordered for me exactly what I would have picked. How can you know all that? You do realize it makes you look like a real stalker, do you?"

Kashuu's smile looks a little sad now and he looks down to his hands on the table, pretending to check his nail polish.

"Sorry," he mumbles. "I know it's not easy to believe, but-"

"You're still telling me we're reincarnated?"

Kashuu hesitates, wondering how to start or how he could achieve anything with such an approach. Then he remembers the keychain on Yasusada's bag.

"You don't remember Okita either?" he asks.

"Okita? Okita of the Shinsengumi?" Yasusada asks, confused by the sudden change of topic.

Kashuu nods. "Because of your keychain..."

"Ah that. Well, he was a genius swordsman. Guess I could call him my idol or something."

"From master to idol, huh? Well not that much difference I guess."

Yasusada tilts his head, eying him confusedly, but Kashuu just laughs and waves it off.

"Nevermind. Let's just say I never thought I'd once be disappointed in you NOT mentioning that guy's name in every second sentence."

Their discussion is interrupted once more by the waiter serving their drinks.

"Tell me about it then," Yasusada then continues. "About these... previous lifes."

Now that comes quite surprising! For the first time, he doesn't sound as if he's just making fun of Kashuu's words and that makes Kashuu feel at ease.

He thinks for a moment before answering straight away. This topic is so delicate to talk about. And after how Yasusada laughed at him when he first mentioned it, Kashuu doesn't think it would be a good idea to tell him details about being sword spirits and fighting against supernatural evil forces.

"Well," he sighs. "We've been together for a very long time. And... we've been close."

Close? Close like... friends? Family?

Yasusada doesn't ask back though, waiting for Kashuu to keep going.

"We went through a lot of trouble together. Sad and also dangerous times. But you've always been by my side, no matter what happened. You're the most loyal person I've ever met."

When he looks up from the table, his sad smile makes Yasusada feel almost sorry - even if he doesn't know for what exactly.

"That's why you're the most important for me," Kashuu dares to say, his hand reaching out over the table and to Yasusada's.

When Kashuu places his hand on Yasusada's, it feels like a million thunderbolts rushing through Yasusada's veins. This is different from when they were in the haunted house. The way Kashuu talks and looks at him now, this whole atmosphere makes it feel a lot more intense.

Close like...

Yasusada's eyes widen when it finally rings a bell. Close like LOVERS?!

He pulls back his hand quickly and luckily in that moment, the waiter is back to serve their food. Though he's quite sure he won't be able to concentrate on eating right now.

~

Kashuu hasn't been exaggerating. The food is delicious! And while enjoying it, the topic somehow goes back to kendo and how long Yasusada has been doing it. They also talk about how they grew up and Kashuu learns that Yasusada lives with his parents who are hardworking but very kind according to Yasusada's words. Kashuu doesn't know his real parents. As a baby he has been adopted by a rich couple who treated him well but mainly bought his love with money and since his career went up, he's basically on his own, not hearing from them often.

Yasusada slowly becomes more comfortable around him, realizing when talking to him a bit longer that Kashuu doesn't come off like a creepy stalker at all. Yasusada has to admit, he actually enjoys talking to him as the time flies by. Maybe it's the food that puts him into a good mood or something like that.

"Why did you become an idol?" Yasusada asks when they finished eating and Kashuu, who had just raised his glass to take a sip, starts coughing.

"Ah..." he sighs and clears his throat. "Ah, well about that..."

Truth or lie? So far, he didn't lie to Yasusada, so he decides to be honest once more, even if he risks the now more carefree atmosphere to get tensed again. He does want Yasusada to know how much he means to him! No matter if Yasusada remembers or not, Kashuu wants him to at least know that one thing!

"Technically, I could quit now," he starts. "Because I only wanted to become famous to find you."

"Eh?"

Yasusada blinks.

"What would be a better way to find someone who could be anywhere in the world, than becoming known by the whole world?" Kashuu explains with a grin as if he's proud of this masterplan.

"I thought if you'd really be out there somewhere and if you'd remember me, then you could see me on TV or something like that." He laughs. "Who would have known that we probably would have ended up in the same class and met much earlier if I wouldn't have started my idol career. How ironic, isn't it?"

"Hmm..." Yasusada just mumbles, not really knowing what to say.

Kashuu seems to be totally serious about this reincarnation thing.

And that leaves Yasusada completely puzzled. Especially because of these details, Kashuu mentioned. Going out with him... Being close... Most important... He can't get that out of his head. Is Kashuu really serious about that? Does he mean it the way he makes it sound?

Kashuu stares at Yasusada wordlessly while the other seems to be lost in his thoughts. He knows him well enough to know that Yasusada would never make fun of someone's feelings. That's why he doesn't have the slightest problem with honestly voicing his own ones. But then again, this Yasusada doesn't know Kashuu like Kashuu knows him. This Yasusada doesn't love him... And still, Kashuu's heart is aching for him so much.

He looks at Yasusada's hand and decides to dare another attempt. They've been interupted by the waiter earlier anyway. This time, when he reaches out and places his hand over Yasusada's, the other doesn't pull back but just looks up at him quickly. Softly, Kashuu let's his fingers brush over the back of Yasusada's hand.

"You're tired aren't you?," he asks quietly and with a caring voice. Yasusada has never heard him like that. Or maybe he has and can't remember? But it's true, Yasusada does feel tired. Urashima would usually ask him why he looks so bored or grumpy. Kashuu on the other hand seems to read him like an open book.

"Let's go home," Kashuu suggests with a smile and waves towards the waiter to bring the invoice. "Thanks for coming here with me."

"Thanks for inviting me," Yasusada answeres politely.

"Who said I'll pay for you?"

"EH?!"

When Yasusada looks up with shere panic on his face, Kashuu starts laughing.

"Just kidding! Ahahaha!"

Wow! He totally fell for it...

"Just wanted to see your reaction," Kashuu laughs. "Don't worry I won't let you wash up the dishes."

Yasusada mumbles something inaudible and pulls a face. How mean!

~

"I guess I'll be going then," Yasusada says when they're back on the street. It got late and streets are less crowded now.

"No, wait," Kashuu mumbles while typing on his phone. "I'll call a taxi."

Taxi, huh? Why is Yasusada still surprised? A celebrity doesn't just take the public transport.

Kashuu seems to notice Yasusada's sceptical expression.

"It's more safe," he says as if it's necessary to justify his decision. "I don't wanna show off or something."

"I didn't say that," Yasusada says and shrugs his shoulders, hands back in his pockets.

Kashuu sighs at the typical defensive attitude. "But it's what you though."

Well, true, it is what Yasusada has been thinking about Kashuu all the time. "Stop reading my mind then."

Kashuu chuckles. "Excuse me for knowing you so well!"

They walk a few metres to lean against some railing and wait for the taxi.

"I won't deny, having money is a nice side effect of being famous," Kashuu starts mainly to avoid another wave of awkward silence coming up. "In our past lifes I used to be poor and you were actually the one with the more wealthy background."

He's talking about something like past lifes as if it was as normal as talking about the weather. It leaves Yasusada with such a strange feeling.

"Back then I really thought money could make you happy," Kashuu continues while leaning back and looking up at the night sky. "But that's not true. I know that now."

Yasusada looks at him and raises a brow. "It really took you a whole life to get that? Wow!"

Kashuu turns his head and glares at him. "O-oi!!"

Yasusada starts laughing and Kashuu can feel his cheeks turning warm. Yasusada's laughing... this is what he missed the most. This is what makes him so much happier than any money in the world.

~

"This is... where you live?"

Yasusada stares out of the window of the car and can't hide how impressed he is when the taxi drives up the gateway and stops at the front door of Kashuu's house.

"You're such a showoff!!"

"Stop saying that!" Kashuu replies almost embarrassed at this point.

He'd rather have checked out where exactly Yasusada lives to be honest, but it would have been a detour to drive to Yasusada's address first and while Kashuu wouldn't have minded, it would probably look rather stalkerish again and he doesn't want that.

He gets out of the car and turns around, leaning down to rest his arms one the frame of the open window.

"I almost forgot to say this," he starts. "We're having another live concert soon. Since I still want to convince you that dancing and singing - oh and writing my own songs by the way - is more than hopping around, please watch it!"

Yasusada just mumbles something without looking at Kashuu but it does sound like a shy agreement and that's enough to make Kashuu smile. He leans in and-

--pulls back again.

Yasusada looks up at him confusedly.

What was that just now?

"Good night," Kashuu whispers before he steps back from the window and walks up the stairs to the front door.

He wanted to kiss him. So badly. He almost did! Without even thinking about it! The urge inside of him is so strong but he can't do that. It would only creep Yasusada out. He has to resist. Make this work slowly. Way... too... slowly. It's so difficult!

When closing the door behind him, he lets his back hit the wood and sinks down on his butt, hands wrapping his own legs as he lets his forehead fall onto his knees.

"Yasusada..." he whispers as the tears are coming once more and all the held back feelings burst out again. "How could you forget that you love me?"

Chapter Text

"STOP! Stop, stop, stop! Switch off the music! Kashuu! After the second turn to the right, it's still three steps. Three! Back, forth, back. Has always been like that!"

"I know," Kashuu mumbles almost not audible but still loud enough for their choreographer to hear it.

"Then WHY don't you DO it?"

"Sorry..."

"I didn't ask you to apologize. All I'm asking you is to do it RIGHT."

Kashuu sighs and just nods while biting his lower lip, not noticing the worried look of his band members.

"Once more! Music!"

~

"Are you getting enough sleep?" Ichigo asks him during their break.

"I am," Kashuu reassures him after taking a sip of his water bottle. "You don't know how much time I save since I don't read through all those letters anymore."

"Well, probably not more hours than you spend at school." Ichigo doesn't sound lecturing. He didn't sound like that a single time since Kashuu brought Midare to him the other day. But now he sounds worried. "Are you sure, you can hand-"

"I can!" Kashuu interrupts him a bit too sharply. Maybe it's because he's still used to that tone being necessary to speak up against Ichigo and Mikazuki. "I can and I will," Kashuu repeats a bit more quiet. More exhausted.

It's not reading through fan letters that keeps him busy these days. But thoughts about Yasusada. Every night he keeps lying awake, telling himself that he needs to sleep but instead he keeps thinking. "Why doesn't he remember? Why does he act so bitter almost all the time? Why did his smile become so rare? How could he have forgotten his feelings for me? Why won't he love me again?"

"You know it's not much time left until the concert," Ichigo continues. "I won't ask you to stop going to school, but... at least for some days you will have to drop out."

"What? Just because of one mistake? Oh come on!" Kashuu complains.

"It wasn't just one and you know that," Ichigo answers, arms folded in front of his chest. "That was our condition. You're allowed to go back to school only as long as you can handle both, school AND the band."

Kashuu remembers what he told Yasusada about his reasons for becoming an idol. Actually... why does he still continue? He found who he's been searching for. He could just quit now and go back to living a normal life... if there weren't contracts and management companies and all those things that seem to have way more power than the Retrograding Army.

"Yeah, fine..." he sighs in defeat. "Just for some days..."

After Ichigo turned around to leave, Iwatooshi pats Kashuu's shoulder.

"Don't make such a face," the taller one says. "It wasn't that bad. Could have happened to any of us."

"Yeah, sadly it keeps happening to me," Kashuu mumbles, annoyed by his own performance.

Imanotsurugi has followed Iwatooshi while the other three members already went to shower and now he's looking at Kashuu curiously.

"So?" he asks. "How is it going? With Yasusada."

Kashuu shrugs his shoulders.

"Nothing is going," he answers honestly and disappointedly. "I don't get it... Why do some of us remember and others don't? Is there any pattern? Any logic behind this?"

Those are exactly the thoughts that kept him awake at night recently. If only he knew why some of them still have their memory of their past lifes while others don't, then maybe he could find a way to make Yasusada remember.

Imanotsurugi leans against the wall next to him and lets his leg dangle back and forth. "Hmmm," he hums. "I've been wondering... maybe he just doesn't want to remember?"

"Imano!" Iwatooshi shoots him a glare as if saying "Watch out! Are you trying to make him even more depressed?"

"But seriously!" the smallest band member huffs. "I'm not saying he wanted to forget you, Kashuu. But maybe something else?"

"What do you mean?" Kashuu asks and finally looks up from his shoes.

"We all experienced a lot of bad things in the past..." Imanotsurugi starts and sounds a bit sad now. "Now and then, these memories still overwhelm me and make me wake up screaming at night. Sometimes I wish I wouldn't remember all of these bad things."

Iwatooshi grits his teeth. He understands exactly what the other is talking about and he knows there's nothing he could do about it and that sucks.

"Even when we were with the Saniwa," Imanotsurugi continues. "It hasn't been easy for Yasusada to get over the loss of his previous master, right? And he has also lost you in his first life. Maybe at some point, it's all just too much."

Kashuu chews on his lip while staring at some random spot on the floor of the gym. Imanotsurugi has a point. What if he's right? What if Yasusada doesn't want to remember?

"When humans experience something traumatizing, they might end up suffering from amnesia as well," Iwatooshi adds, hand on his chin and eyebrows narrowed. "Just that in this case, we're talking about a few hundred years of fighting, killing and losing beloved ones."

"But it's not like I didn't go through the same!" Kashuu interrupts him and suddenly sounds a bit angry. "I broke!! And then I had to see Yasusada die in my arms! If what you're saying is true, then why do I still remember all this?"

Iwatooshi shrugs. "Because not everyone reacts the same to such experiences, Kashuu. Different personalities have different ways to handle things."

He pats his shoulder once more before picking up his towel from the bench and Imanotsurugi gets up as well.

"Anyway, just try to get enough sleep, okay? The sooner you'll do better in practice, the sooner you can go back to see him at school."

"Okay, okay," Kashuu mumbles as he leaves the gym with them. As if the will alone would make it any easier for him to sleep...

~

"Alright then we start with today's class," the teacher says after finishing going through the attendance list like every morning.

"Sensei!" One of the girls got up from her chair.

"Excuse me, you didn't read out Kiyomitsu's name. Is he ill?"

That's what probably all girls in the class are wondering - and not only them.

Yasusada turns around over his shoulder, looking at the empty desk near the window. It's been empty since three days now.

"He has a special permission," the teacher answers rather vaguely. "Because of his work."

"Hah, special permission. I'd like to go to school only when I feel like it, too," Yasusada hears one of the boys mumbling. "What a snob..."

~

"Midare!" After their last lesson, Yasusada walks over to Urashima's desk where his friend is still busy packing his bag and Midare Toushirou is sitting on his desk, typing on his phone. Yasusada still has to get used to the idea of a guy wearing a skirt... but because of the rumours he had heard, he was not half as surprised as Urashima, when Kashuu confirmed Midare's gender. It seems Urashima gets used to it too. He's still nervous as always as soon as Midare shows up so not much has changed - apart from the fact that Midare shows up more often than before.

"Hey Yasusada, what's up?" Midare greets him and makes a gum bubble which bursts quickly in front of his lips.

"Have you heard anything from Kiyomitsu? I mean... the past days." For once Yasusada can read Urashima's thoughts easily from the way his friend looks at him. "Since when do you care?" is what his eyes are asking.

"I know he's busy with his band but..." Yasusada shrugs. Now that he began to ask, he realizes it really is awkward that he cares. Why does he even? "Did he send you a message maybe? Or... anything?" It's not like Kashuu is obliged to inform any of them about how he's doing. Least of all Yasusada. He didn't even exchange numbers with him.

"Hm? Oh, no I haven't," Midare answers but doesn't seem to be worried at all. "I bet he's busy because of the upcoming concert. Will you guys go there with me?"

"O-of course!!" Urashima shouts out quickly. Who would have guessed? Yasusada isn't sure what to answer. Last time he went to a concert of a boy band he swore to himself it will be remain the only time. But now...

"It's not like we'd miss that snob," someone behind Yasusada suddenly says and catches his attention.

"Ha ha, yeah I mean did you hear about poor Honda? His girlfriend broke up with him because she's soooo in love with that Kiyomitsu guy!"

The voices belong to some of his classmates. Yasusada doesn't turn around but still listens to their conversation. Midare and Urashima glance over to the window where the boys are chatting.

"Seriously?! Wow, what the hell is wrong with all the girls?"

"She said she has aaaalways loved him but now that he's going to our class, he's not that unreachable anymore or something and she caaaan't ignore her feeeelings!"

"That's what she said? What a bitch!"

"Yeah, all the girls suddenly get crazy because of that faggot. His pretty idol face really pisses me off!"

"Someone should punch his stupid grin out of his face, I swear-"

The sentence is interrupted by a loud bang, when Yasusada slams one of the empty chairs against the desk and his eyes meet those of the guy who has just talked.

"I'm going home," he mumbles to Urashima and Midare but keeps eying the guys near the window, talking loud enough for them to hear him as well. "Stinks too much like asshole in here."

~

Yasusada just walked down the stairs to the entrance hall when he spots a familiar person standing at the shoe lockers.

"Kiyomitsu!"

Kashuu looks up from his open locker and his face instantly brightens up. Now if that isn't destiny!

"Yasusada! Glad to see you," he greets the other who walks over to him.

It doesn't take much to see how tired Kashuu looks. Even Yasusada can tell easily and he's usually not good in noticing details about those around him. Urashima could wear the same shirt for a week and Yasusada most likely wouldn't notice. But he notices the shadows under Kashuu's eyes.

"I thought I'd better come here after class," Kashuu says. His voice sounds tired, too. "When most people are already in their clubs. So they won't retain me again." He waves with a piece of paper in his hand and smiles. "Just picking this up. I've been trying to remember those lyrics I came up with just in the middle of class." He laughs. "But no chance. Luckily I noted them down here."

"So you've been busy with... work?" Yasusada asks even if he already knows that.

"With hopping around, yeah," Kashuu answers with a grin. "Did you miss me?"

"W-what?" Yasusada doesn't know that his embarrassment is clearly visible in form of deep red cheeks. He didn't MISS him! He's just confused and has been thinking way too much lately, that's all.

Kashuu chuckles and folds the paper before putting it into his bag. Then he takes a look at his phone. "I think it won't hurt when I take my time... Wanna go for a little walk?"

~

"He's not a bad guy, just... strict. VERY strict!" Kashuu finishes complaining about their choreographer.

They walked over the school grounds for a while and Kashuu has told him about training and why he couldn't come to class. And even if he's been doing nothing but complaining, Yasusada somehow still feels relieved. Because Kashuu and complaining somehow seems familiar - even if he can't really remember the other acting like that before.

"Must be tough," Yasusada admits. "I think I wouldn't want to switch."

"You'd make a shitty idol anyway," Kashuu laughs and Yasusada pulls a face.

"Oi, what does that mean?"

It's true though. He would! It's not the first time, Kashuu is right with his statements about him. Yasusada looks down onto his feet while they keep walking along the way with the cherry blossoms blooming to their right and the sports clubs practicing on the grounds down the hill to their left.

"So how are Midare and Urashima doing?" Kashuu changes the topic and makes Yasusada look up. "Are they dating finally?"

Finally. He makes it sound as if it was just a matter of time. Well, maybe it is.

"Not officially," Yasusada answers. "I think Urashima still needs to get used to the idea of being gay."

"Aaah, come on, is he really making such a big deal out of that?" Kashuu sighs and stretches his arms above his head. "Didn't think he'd be so prude. But ah well, these are different times. It's probably more of an issue when you're a high school student than-"

Woops! "-a sword," he had almost said. But then he remembers that he never mentioned Urashima being reincarnated as well. He never mentioned them being sword spirits either.

"Ah damn-" he suddenly says and stops in his tracks, grabbing Yasusada's arm at the same time.

"What's up?" Yasusada asks confused but before he gets an answer, Kashuu turns around and pulls him along, speeding up and mumbling only one word: "Fans!"

Before Yasusada gets it, he's pulled off the way and into the bushes between the cherry blossom trees.

"Hey, why are you-"

"PSHT!"

And with that, Kashuu quickly reaches out to cover Yasusada's mouth with his flat hand while he lurks through behind the bush.

Yasusada grabs Kashuu's arm with both hands and pulls him away while Kashuu is looking through the leafs to see if the girls he spotted walked by without noticing him.

"Radical measures," Yasusada mumbles and sounds a bit annoyed.

"Sorry," Kashuu apologizes and plops down on his butt next to Yasusada. "But sometimes they can get really annoying." And he can think of nicer things to do than spending his recently even more rare time with chatting with fans. For example with sitting behind a bush with Yasusada.

When he realizes the situation he brought them into, he can't help but chuckle. "This is not so bad though."

"Huh?"

"Finally getting some precious alone time with you," he dares to say, grinning suggestively and that's already enough to make Yasusada flustered.

"I-idiot," he mumbles. "What are you talking about?"

Kashuu looks at him without a word when a certain thought comes to his mind and he's not sure if he should risk it, but then-

"I think I have an idea how to prove that I know you..."

Kashuu quickly reaches out for Yasusada's face, putting his hand on the other's cheek. And when Yasusada looks at him with big confused eyes but doesn't push him away, Kashuu feels like drowning into deep, endless blue. Yasusada's eyes make his heart beat faster. Even after ten, twenty, hundred years.

"Uhm..." Yasusada feels nervous because of this whole situation but mostly because of the warm hand on his cheek and the strange atmosphere that comes with the way Kashuu is looking at him, approaching him. Why doesn't he just push him away?

Kashuu leans in until his head is right next to Yasusada's, his hair tickling the naked skin on his neck. "I know everything about you," he whispers close to Yasusada's ear, feeling the other twitching as a reaction to the warm breath on his skin. "Also these kind of things, if you know what I mean."

THESE kind of things?!

Yasusada can feel his heart hammering like crazy when he suddenly feels Kashuu's lips touching his neck. While on the outside he seems to be frozen, his mind is spinning like a rollercoaster but all his thoughts are so mixed up that he cannot finish a single one. He knows he should pull back but he doesn't move at all. He lets it happen, lets Kashuu touch him like that and god knows why.

Kashuu's lips feel full and soft, warm and- skilled! And he smells so good. Is he wearing lip gloss?

The way he tilts his head and cups Yasusada's face with his hand, the way his thumb brushes over Yasusada's cheek almost in the same rhythm as his lips are softly pressing and moving against his skin. His mouth opening and closing, gently applying pressure but never too much. It feels so natural, that Yasusada automatically closes his eyes. And when he feels Kashuu's tongue teasingly licking his neck, he suddenly thinks that he knows this feeling. It feels good, but it not like a first time, it's more like-

Kashuu feels Yasusada's tight grip on his shoulders and then he's pushed backwards. Not violently, but still with enough strength to make clear that this is it. This is how far he's allowed to go and not a single step further. Yasusada doesn't look at him but his eyes are widened as if he saw a ghost when all he's staring at is the grass they're sitting on.

Kashuu wants to say something. He knows he needs to. But his mind is too blurred, his heart beating too fast out of a happiness he hasn't felt for so many years. No matter what he'd say now, it probably wouldn't be of any use.

Suddenly they hear a rustling sound from another nearby bush and both of them instantly turn into said direction. But there's nothing. Maybe only an animal. Hopefully.

When Kashuu turns back at Yasusada, finally preparing to talk, Yasusada already gets to his feet.

"I should go now."

"Wait- I-!"

"See you!"

And with that, he turns around to leave. And as much as Kashuu hates to keep this situation in suspense, he knows it wouldn't be a good idea to force Yasusada to talk about it now. And so he let's him go, staying behind with a million of butterflies in his belly and the best taste on his lips that he could ever imagine.

Chapter Text

Crimson red eyes are staring right through him. He knows these eyes but in that moment is has been the first time he saw them. He can hear a familiar voice. Warm and gentle. He can't see the person it belongs to but hearing it is enough to make him feel comfortable. "From today on you'll be partners. Please get along well!"

There's the sound of something clashing together. Familiar moves. Is this kendo practice? Ah no it's not. He's not wearing his kendo uniform. Those are not shinai but real swords.

"You're really awesome!" he hears himself saying and his opponent, exhausted but still with a teasing grin, answers: "I know. If I had not been tired out by Nagasone, I would have won!"

Nagasone? Who's that?

Suddenly the atmosphere changes. It's dark and hot and there's the sound of fire spitting nearby. But he doesn't seem to mind. The person in front of him makes a whimpering sound as he's pinned against the wall of a building and Yasusada presses his lips against his. Vigorously, demanding, almost desperate as if he had been craving for so long to do this. He tries to take a look, tries to see who this person is, but in that second, the scenario changes once more.

This time he can see himself standing in a room that looks like from a history book and the clothes he's wearing would match into the edo period. He's crying. Some people are carrying something like a stretcher with a person lying on it. The person is covered completely by a white linen cloth. And once more, the scenario turns black.

"It's you... it's really you!" he cries as he hugs the person standing in front of him. "Finally we meet again!" Ah that sounds familiar... but rather the other way round. Didn't something similar happen recently?

The way the scenes in front of his eyes are changing so quickly and make him feel emotions from excitement over despair to happiness and back, all within the blink of an eye is almost too much for him too bear. He feels sick.

He snuggles his cheek against the other's and then places a short kiss on it. "I love you," he then whispers. "I love you more than anyone else."

And then there's darkness again. He's crying, screaming desperately, shouting the name of the one who's dying in his arms. His fingers are clenched into a once blue and white hakama which is now covered in blood pouring out of a big gash on the other's throat. He lets his head sink down onto the liveless body. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!" he cries again and again. "I couldn't protect you... Kiyomitsu!"

~

Yasusada's head is resting on his desk and but his eyes aren't closed. They're staring aimlessly outside the window next to him and he's too tired to even blink. Might look as if he fell asleep with his eyes open but he's far from that. He actually wishes he could sleep. Because last night was way too short. No matter how tired he felt, there was absolutely no chance to fall asleep again after such a dream.

He takes a deep breath and then sighs thinking about what happened yesterday. Kashuu kissing him all of a sudden... and him being way too overwhelmed to react quickly. Is that why he hesitated instead of pushing him away instantly? He presses his lips together, going through the scenarios of his dream for what feels like the hundreds time. He doesn't understand the meaning of what he saw in that dream but what he knows for sure is that Kashuu was in it. It's not rare to dream of something or someone who kept you busy lately and that's what Kashuu definitely did with all his stories about reincarnation and such - but this was different. It felt... so real? But could this really be? Could something like that really be possible? He doesn't believe in anything supernatural and never has. It's just way too absurd.

"YASUSADA!"

He shoots up quickly when Urashima slams both hands onto his desk and when Yasusada meets his friend's eyes, he can tell that something serious must have happened.

"What's wron- h-hey!" He can't even manage to finish the question before his friend grabs his arm and pulls him off his chair. The other students spending their lunch break in the classroom start whispering while Urashima drags Yasusada out of the room.

"Urashima! Hey, stop it! What the hell is going on?"

Even on the hallway all others are looking at them, chatting behind their hands and then suddenly a paper ball hits the back of Yasusada's head but he doesn't see who threw it. What is this all about?!

"Here! Care to explain that?" Urashima shouts as they stop in front of the bulletin board which is surrounded by curious students and it's only then when Yasusada realizes the chatting and whispering was not because of the way Urashima pulled him along.

Yasusada's mouth literally drops open and his eyes widen in shock when he sees what caused all this ruckus. It feels as if his heart stops beating the second he sees that piece of paper, ripped out of a newspaper or magazine or whatever and pinned on top of the board for everyone to see. Everyone in the whole school. Looking at a photo of him and no other than Kashuu Kiyomitsu. In quite an obvious scene behind a bush.

He doesn't have the time to do anything before he's suddenly pushed against his shoulder and if not someone else would catch him and push him right back, he would have hit the ground.

"Hey Yasusada! Didn't know you're a faggot too!" someone shouts laughing.

"Even turning gay just to get the rich ones now? Wow, that's so pathetic!"

And then the girls start yelling too and he's suddenly the center of everyone's attention, being pushed back and forth and surrounded by so many students that it's impossible to get away.

"Is that really true? Is Kiyomitsu really gay?"

"What are you trying to achieve with this?"

"How could you do that?!"

"Faggot, faggot!!"

Yasusada doesn't realize who is yelling at him and he can't see Urashima anymore, he's just trying to push through the crowd but they won't let him. His breathing is speeding up, panic growing further and further until finally he spots an opening. He can't see that a teacher showed up, shouting at the students to stop. He doesn't waste a single second before pushing everyone aside and running as if his life depends on it.

~

The door of the toilet cabin is slammed shut and a second "BAMM" can be heard when Yasusada kicks against it, shouting "FUCK!" - and he's quite sure that at this point everyone who dared to be in the toilet room left it as fast as possible.

He sits down on the closed toilet and buries his face in both hands, repeating his curses as if they could actually help him in a situation like that. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!"
Of course that won't help but he hardly ever swears and that he does proves only more how serious this is.

It's not like he had any reputation to lose but he could still imagine better things than becoming the centre of attention because of something like THIS. He hates too much attention anyway. He has always been glad when people just left him alone and let him live a peaceful life. He doesn't need all this stress and drama. He doesn't need any action in his life. This is something he long left behind, something he tried to for-

...

Yasusada raises his head, eyes wide open. Something... he tried to forget?

He doesn't know what's worse. The whole school making him their new bullying victim number one or that he begins to actually consider the possibility that what Kashuu Kiyomitsu is telling him, is true. This can't be. It just CAN'T BE! It's impossible! He's just trying to pull him into all of this with his- his stupid pretty face and full, rosy lips that felt so, so soft...

"This can't be," he mumbles to himself as he buries his forehead in his hands again, fingers running through his hair, almost pulling on it in frustration. "All of this... I can't let this happen!"

He doesn't know how long he barricaded himself inside the toilet but when he gives up and leaves it, realizing he won't be able to stay there and hide for the rest of his life, the students he passes on his way back to the classroom instantly start whispering behind their hands. Nice. Seems like the story of his first intimate contact made it all around the school by now. And yes, it was his first. That's probably the only reason why he was so blown away. Right! That has NOTHING to do with Kashuu Kiyomitsu.

He ignores the whispering as best as possible, glad that at least there is no pulk of people anymore, trying to stop him. Lunch break is over so everyone is back in the class rooms. That will be the most difficult part now. Going back to class.

His hand rests on the doorknob for quite a while before he manages to gather enough courage to pull it down.

When the door opens, their teacher stops talking in the middle of his sentence and everyone looks to the door. Great. All eyes on him. How does Kashuu deal with that every day?

"Yasusada," the teacher addresses him. He doesn't look surprised about Yasusada coming late.

"Please take your bag and go to the headmaster's office."

What?! He can't be serious?! Can it get any worse? Well okay, not that he's sad about not being forced to stay in this room any longer with everyone staring at him as if he's an alien but why the hell is he called to the headmaster now? Shouldn't all the others who insulted him earlier be called there?

He doesn't say anything, just grabs his bag and ignores Urashima's, Namazuo's and Honebami's worried looks just like the mumbling that goes through the rows until he closes the classroom door behind his back with a bit too much force.

~

"Apparently someone found it funny to print out several copies of this article and spread it in the school," the headmaster, an older man with a big belly and thick glasses says with a serious voice. He's walking up and down slowly in front of the window behind his desk, not looking at Yasusada while talking.

Yasusada is sitting still on the chair, hands flat on his knees and eyes fixed on the dark wooden desk in front of him. He has never been called here before and he didn't think it would ever be necessary.

"We removed those copies but that won't make people stop talking."

"You don't say," is what Yasusada thinks but he just keeps quiet.

"Listen, Yasusada..." the man continues while turning around. "It shouldn't be of my business what you do in your spare time, but it becomes my business when it happens on school grounds and could harm the reputation of this facility."

What? Is that man serious? HE is getting lectured now, because of what happened? What about these students who laughed at him and pushed him around? THEY should be sitting here right now! Harm the school's reputation? How many times did Yasusada randomly spot couples kissing and holding hands on the corridors? Okay, they shouldn't do that in front of a teacher but apart from that it surprisingly NEVER was a big deal. Now it suddenly is, because they're both guys? Or because Kashuu is an idol? Or what's their god damn problem?

"I don't know what you tried to achieve with this but let me tell you that it's not positive publicity. It won't be beneficial for you just because Kashuu Kiyomitsu is a famous celebrity."

Yasusada's eyes widen and his fingers clenched into the fabric of his pants. This is it? This is what he's thinking? That Yasusada tried to... gain anything from this? Maybe that he planned it? That he was trying to seduce Kashuu or something like that? He's literally at a loss of words. This can't be true, he can't be serious!!! This is not fair! He shouldn't be here. He shouldn't be lectured for something like this. Apart from all other circumstances, he didn't even do anything! But even if he did, even if he would have initiated it, even then it shouldn't be a damn, fucking problem! Yasusada is boiling on the inside and it has never been so hard for him to not show that.

The headmaster picks up a file from his desk - Yasusada's student records.

"You don't have any bad grades, you never got any negative attention, no problems with bullying in either directions..." The man mumbles while his eyes are wandering over the notes. "You're doing really well in kendo, too."

For the first time since Yasusada had entered the room, the principal looks right at him. As if now he has any value for him.

"You could go to a good university. Focus on your talents there," the headmaster underlines his words with a nod. "Don't let all of that get ruined because of some stupid teenager dare or tryout."

Yasusada gulps, trying to swallow down the lump in his throat but it only grows and grows.

"Did you hear me?"

"Yes." He can't look up. He can't look at this man because he never had the urge to use violence against someone before and the thought alone scares him.

"Good. You don't have to go back to class for the rest of the day."

Don't have to? Or are not allowed to?

"Go home, take a rest." The headmaster puts the file back on the desk and sighs. His voice sounds almost pitying. "Think about if this was really worth the trouble."

He didn't do anything wrong. It was just a short kiss on his neck. That's all. There's nothing wrong about kissing. Nothing. At. All.

He gets up, bows and leaves.

Without a word. Without saying what he thinks. Without making room for all the boiled up anger inside of him.

~

At the same time the members of TouDan are sitting together at a table in a seperate area of a nice and quiet restaurant, having their lunch break after training. Tonight their concert will take place so the afternoon will be spent on preparations by the stuff and they're more or less free until rehearsal.

"Today went good," Mikazuki says while sipping his tea with a confident smile. "Well done, everyone."

"Maybe we can have dinner all together after the show?," Kogitsunemaru adds and munches his meat.

"We're just having lunch and you already talk about dinner," Imanotsurugi laughs. "Ah, Ichigo! Finally joining us!"

They look up when the manager of the band enters the room but Ichigo's expression doesn't seem to bode well.

"Anyone of you checked the news this morning? Or any social media?" he goes straight to topic with his arms folded in front of his chest and a magazine rolled up in his hand.

All six band members stare at him with curious and also slightly nervous faces. Kogitsunemaru literally froze with his chopsticks in his mouth.

"Kashuu?" Ichigo turns towards said person and shrugs his shoulders. "You? Just... maybe?"

Kashuu looks completely puzzled as well. "Actually I couldn't find my charger until this morning and didn't switch my phone back on yet..."

Ichigo sighs. "How the hell did you even make it here in one piece?"

And with that, he drops the magazine on the table right in front of Kashuu's nose and causes Kashuu to choke on his own spit.

"SHIT!" he yells out and grabs the magazine with the beautiful headline "Is he gay?" and a nice and clear shot of him leaning in to Yasusada's neck.

"Holy shit..." Kogitsunemaru says almost in slow-motion right before Imanotsurugi grabs the magazine to read through the article.

"Shocking news about TouDan member Kashuu Kiyomitsu. Is this boy the reason why he suddenly went back to school? Fans are currently getting crazy about a photo showing the heartthrob member of the famous boy band TouDan kissing another male while seemingly hiding behind a bush..."

"FUCKING SHIT!" Kashuu shouts out again and ignores his chair falling over when he jumps to his feet and turns around to run out of the room but Ichigo quickly grabs him by the collar, holding him back.

"Not that fast," he says. "Don't you think you already caused enough uproar? Don't make it worse, if that's even possible at this point."

"It's probably NOT!" Kashuu yells at him and pulls back. His heart is racing from panic. He's been in this business long enough to know what news like that can cause and seriously he wants to slap himself right now for being so stupid. He should have known better that it's not possible to have one quiet second alone in public. Not even when you're hiding. He should have his feelings more under control but this is a problem he's been dealing with since a few hundred years. Now it's too late. He fucked up and Yasusada will probably hate him forever for the trouble he caused him. He doesn't realize how tears built up in his eyes until they suddenly blur his view.

"Can you imagine what they'll do to Yasusada?" he cries. "This is MY fault, so I have to do something!"

"There's nothing you can do about the public reaction to this, apart from making sure you won't get followed by paparazzi. If anyone approaches you on the streets you won't answer ANY questions, is that clear? Not a single one. No admiting, no denying, nothing!"

"You don't have to tell me that!"

"I thought I don't have to tell you to not make out in public either! Apparently I was wrong!" At this point, Ichigo raised his voice as well and since he rarely ever does that, the effect of it is even more striking.

"It works perfectly fine for Mikazuki and Kogitsunemaru! Why can't it work for you as well? Why can't you control your damn libido?!"

Outch! This doesn't sound like Ichigo at all. Not even Kashuu, who basically mastered the skill to anger his manager has ever heard him like that before. It's more than obvious he stretched his nerves way too much lately. He can't even blame Ichigo for freaking out like that. He can't imagine how much work and stress he must have caused him. There's no point in trying to defend himself. Because Ichigo is right. This is solely Kashuu's fault.

Kashuu's hands are clenched to fists and his head lowered. He doesn't say a single word. All he can think about is how Yasusada must have reacted when seeing this. How everyone else reacted. Did they corner him and assail him? Yasusada isn't the type of person who knows how to deal with something like this. And he definitely won't like this either!

"Just go," Ichigo's quiet and exhausted voice suddenly interrupt his thoughts and Kashuu looks up confusedly.

"I called a taxi. It's waiting outside. Go talk to him and try to fix at least one thing. I don't want you to be an emotional mess at the concert. And make sure you'll be back here in time."

Kashuu's mouth literally drops open. If he wouldn't know any better, he'd say this isn't real. But then he doesn't waste another second just in case Ichigo might change his mind.

"Thank you," he gasp hastily while grabbing his jacket and bag. "And I'm sorry!"

Ichigo sighs when Kashuu left the room, mumbling to himself: "Yeah... me too..."

Chapter Text

While he's sitting in the taxi, Kashuu hastily types on his phone - seeing only now that it's full of messages but he ignores those for now. He only replies to Midare's "r u ok?! school is crazy! pls call me asap!!1"

He starts typing: "Do you have Yasusada's number?"

He curses himself for not asking for it earlier. But until recently who knows if Yasusada would have given it to him? He knows his address from the list Hakata gave him but showing up there without a warning is rather impolite.

Luckily it takes only a few minutes for Kashuu's phone to vibrate when there's another message from Midare incoming: "Got it from Urashima!" Kashuu quickly copies the number and dials it, pressing the phone to his ear impatiently.

~

Yasusada is lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling and kneading a small stress ball in his hands, throwing it up against the wall now and then and catching it again.

On his nightstand, his phone keeps vibrating but he doesn't even check it anymore. It's probably either Urashima again or someone else from school. He appreciates some people actually being worried but he just can't bring himself to talk to anyone now. He's just way too angry. Yasusada doesn't get angry often, but when he does, he prefers hiding alone somewhere, locking himself up and waiting until he calmed down. Because he doesn't like arguments, he doesn't like being stressed and acting without thinking.

That's why when he hears the door bell, he lets out an annoyed murmur, before rolling on his side and checking his phone. Oh? There are several missed calls from an unknown number. Usually he doesn't get called by people who aren't in his phone book. Nevermind. A look at the time tells him that the one ringing the door bell might actually be his mother coming back from work. Maybe she forgot her keys or something? He doesn't expect anyone else so he drags himself up from bed.

When he opens the door and sees Kashuu with his black sunglasses and cap standing in front of him, he doesn't hesitate but simply closes it again. No. Just NO!

"Wuaah- wait, wait, wait!" Kashuu quickly says and his fingers almost get squeezed between the heavy door if he wouldn't push against it fast enough.

"Stop that!" Yasusada hisses, pressing his shoulder against the door on his own side while Kashuu tries the same from the other. "Go away! Leave me alone!"

"I won't! We need... to... taaaalk!" Kashuu huffs back.

It must be Yasusada's anger that makes him stronger this time and he finally slams the door shut right in front of Kashuu's nose.

Kashuu grits his teeth. Under normal circumstances he would give him time. After basically attacking him - or his neck to be precisely. He would understand, some time to swallow that would be a good idea. But not after the whole media made such a ruckus about it. He has to settle these things and he has to do that NOW.

And that's why he rings the door bell again. And again. And again. Againagainagain. Damn, Yasusada is just as stubborn as him!

"GO HOME, KIYOMITSU!" he can hear the other yelling from inside.

That's it, Yasusada thinks. He can't always give in whenever others want him to. He has to learn how to say "No"!

"I'M GONNA STAY HERE UNTIL YOUR PARENTS COME HOME AND LET ME IN!" Kashuu yells back as he takes off his sunglasses and cap. "I'M SURE YOUR NEIGHBOURHOOD WILL BE VERY INTERESTED IN KASHUU KIYOMITSU CAMPING IN FRONT OF YOUR DO-"

And suddenly it opens.

An arm reaches out to grab his wrist, pull him inside and push him against the wall.

"Fuck you! Seriously! What do you want?"

"Uuugh..." Kashuu rubs his shoulder that hit the wall a bit too hard but actually his heart hurts a lot more because of the words Yasusada is throwing at him. Kashuu knew this wouldn't be easy but he didn't think Yasusada would be SO angry. Well, these are different times they're living in. And this Yasusada... doesn't love him. Doesn't forgive him all his stupid mistakes.

"I'm sorry," Kashuu mumbles while looking down to the floor. "Sorry for causing you so much trouble."

"Is that all?" Yasusada asks. He has his arms crossed in front of his chest, looking at Kashuu angrily.

"I..."

Yes.

Actually.

That's all.

That's all he prepared. Or all he could think of. What else should he say? Kashuu bites his lip. This is the first time he's noticing this. He had never... never ever needed to apologize to Yasusada. Or to fix anything. Not serious things like this. Because well... Yasusada would always just sigh and hug him and say: "It's fine. I love you anyway." Kashuu's heart starts arching when he realizes how normal that became to him. How he took it for granted.

He looks up to face the other, because that always used to help too. He just needed to look at Yasusada with big, guilty eyes. Yasusada cannot resist that, right? He never could! He always told him, there's something special about his eyes and how much he loves them.
But right now, there is nothing in Yasusada's eyes that would be even close to something like love. There's nothing but anger.

And that's the moment, Kashuu realizes that this isn't the Yasusada he knew anymore. The Yasusada who loved him doesn't exist anymore. The realisation hits him harder than a brick stone right in his face. Actually it hurts way more. Feels like someone is ripping his heart out while he's still alive, just to throw it onto the ground and step on it, crush it under their feet while Kashuu can do nothing but watch... and slowly die...

"I'm sorry," he repeats once more but his voice sounds a lot more quiet now and a bit higher too. Yasusada frowns. He didn't expect such a sudden change. Kashuu takes his eyes off him. There's nothing else he needs to see. "If there's anything I can do... if anything can fix the situation in school..." He shrugs his shoulders in defeat. "Money or whatever... just let me know. My... number should be shown on your phone." And with that he turns around to open the door. "Sorry to disturb you."

And then he's gone.

Yasusada keeps standing in the doorway like frozen, staring at the spot where Kashuu was standing a second ago.

HE is the one who didn't want to talk. He didn't even want to let him in at first. He made no attempt at all to give Kashuu a chance to talk to him properly. Basically he just threw all his anger at him by trying to push him out and yelling at him. And he knows he would have shouted more, let it all out on Kashuu even if Kashuu didn't deserve it. Kashuu didn't mean to harm him. Kashuu just... kissed him. Because he wanted to. Because he... loves him? And that's why Yasusada couldn't talk to him right now. Kashuu doesn't deserve his anger.

It's better that he left quickly, right? Then why does Yasusada feel even more horrible now? Why does his heart hurt so much?

"Yamato?"

When he turns around, his mother is standing in the door frame. While his thoughts kept him busy, he didn't even pay attention to her opening the door.

"What's going on, dear?" She looks worried. Yasusada's mother is already quite old and he's her only child. He couldn't wish for a more caring mother. "I saw your boyfriend running out just now. Did you two argue?"

"W-WHAT?!" Yasusada almost trips backwards over the step of the doorway at those words. "B-boyfriend? What are you talking about?"

"Oh, I read about it at the kiosk," she says with her usual slow and calm voice as if it's the most normal thing in the world. Then she hands Yasusada two big shopping bags before taking off her shoes. "I usually don't read those music articles. That's not my generation. But it doesn't happen so often that I see my son's face in a magazine, ha ha. Still, you could have told me before."

"M-Mom, it's not that-"

"Nevermind," she interrupts him and sighs, massaging her shoulders and stretching her neck. "I don't care if you like a girl or a boy. I'm just happy when you're not alone anymore. So don't argue, okay? Now- bring that into the kitchen, dear."

He's staring at her with his mouth open. Even if he knows his mother as a calm person, this is too surprising even for him. So surprising that he actually forgets to explain that Kashuu is NOT his boyfriend.

"Didn't you want to go to that concert tonight?" she asks while Yasusada places the shopping bags on the kitchen table. "Urashima mentioned it on the phone some days ago."

Damn that Urashima for always babbling too much.

"I'm not going," Yasusada just mumbles.

"Oh? Well, good that I bought enough. I'll make dinner in a minute."

...

"Mom?"

She turns around from the just opened fridge.

"Thank you..."

~

Meanwhile in another and a much more lively part of the town the crowd in front of the concert hall is growing.

Urashima sighs as he puts his phone away.

"No chance," he says with a worried voice. "He won't pick up."

"Well, it's understandable he's not in the mood to come here out of all places after what happened today..." Midare mumbles.

"I just hope, they'll both be fine..."

~

"Five minutes until entrance!" some stuff member shouts, while several others are still busy behind the stage. Iwatooshi helps Imanotsurugi adjusting his jacket and Kogitsunemaru gets his hair combed - again.

"Kashuu," Mikazuki approaches him and puts a hand on Kashuu's shoulder. "How are you now?"

Kashuu who has been sitting on a chair without saying a word just shrugs his shoulders and doesn't look up.

"Will you be okay on stage tonight?" their leader asks.

Well, even if he wouldn't. It's not like he has much choice.

"I'll be fine," he says, gripping the paper with some lyrics in his hands even more. "I'll be fine..."

~

The clock is ticking. His notebook on standby is quietly zooming on the desk. He hears some cars driving by outside. His fingers start hurting from squeezing the stress ball and when he cracks his knuckles it sounds way too loud. It's driving him crazy.

"Aah..." he sighs as he gives up and switches on his TV. What time is it even? It's gotten late. Maybe the concert is already over, or-? It's not.

He recognizes this flashy outfit instantly. It's the same one they wore last time. The first time he saw them. The first time he saw Kashuu Kiyomitsu on stage.

He has something mysterious, something bewitching that makes girls fall in love easily. He's moving so skilled, it looks as if it doesn't cause him any effort - and it doesn't look like hopping around at all. He's smiling brightly but... this smile doesn't reach his eyes. Yasusada remembers how Kashuu had looked at him when he jumped right into his arms in front of the school gate. He remembers Kashuu's smile while they had lunch on the roof top all together. How he laughed on that day in the amusement park. His teasing grin when he challenged him in kendo. And a dreamy, soft smile when looking at the skyline at night. All those expressions were so very different from this. So much more... honest.

Still, Yasusada can't stop watching. He sits back on his bed with his back against the wall, pillow on his knees.

After this song, the other five members suddenly leave the stage and Kashuu is left alone in the middle.

"The next song is very personal," Kashuu announces. He's panting from all the dancing and has to catch his breath for a second. "I wrote it for someone..."

"Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it!" Ichigo prays from behind the stage.

Midare in the audience holds his breath and grabs Urashima's hand, who in return covers his mouth with his other one - probably so he won't have to puke from nervousness.

"No," Kashuu corrects himself. "I wrote it for the person who means everything to me."

Ichigo crouches down and lets his forehead drop against Hakata's shoulder, the younger one patting his back comforting.

Yasusada is staring at the screen without blinking.

"You can't be serious..." he mumbles as if Kashuu could hear him.

But when Kashuu starts singing, Yasusada's suspicion instantly gets confirmed. He IS serious. Yasusada can clearly see that in how Kashuu's expression suddenly changed. These are the eyes that looked at him at school. And those lyrics...

"Your lies tell me you don't love me!
とけない魔法を誰か消してよ (Someone erase this unsolvable magic!)
とざされた仮面の中! (I can't tear off this mask...)"

A song about distant memories, about remembering, meeting again, changing fate... It's way too obvious.

Yasusada's fingers are tensing, tightening their grip into the cushion on his legs. This song was written for him. Kashuu is singing this for him. And Yasusada refused to go to his concert...

"I can't stop loving you tonight!
過ちと知っていてもなぜが (Even if I know, I make mistakes.)
この手を止められなくて (I won't let go of your hand.)"

A gasping sound leaves Yasusada's throat and he swallows, but it doesn't help. The tears are coming anyway. Why is he even crying now? This is so pathetic! He feels so guilty for sending Kashuu away, for letting out his anger on him. He's so confused about everything. Kashuu's stories, his behaviour, Yasusada's dream, this strange feeling he always has around Kashuu. And then there's this helplessness because of what happened at school and he doesn't know how to solve this. He just doesn't know.

"Kiyomitsu..." he mumbles to himself as tears drop onto the pillow on his knees. "I don't know what to do."

And there it is again! This feeling! That he has said exactly the same words before. But when? Where? In what situation? He remembers so many feelings. But most of all there's sadness, despair... helplessness. And everything around these memories is black as if hidden behind a thick, heavy curtain. He doesn't want to feel all that pain again. "I just don't know what to do..."

"僕と一緒にゆこう！ (Come with me!)" Kashuu sings.

He rubs his eyes to clear his vision as the song is coming to an end.

"その瞳を閉じて。(Close your eyes!)
君を夜空に連れ出すよ。(I'll take up into the night sky.)
さあ、飛び立とう！(Come! Let's fly away!)"

~

"Kashuu?" Iwatooshi stops him when Kashuu walks backstage. The concert is over. The fans are still shouting outside but this is it for today. No encore.

No encore...

When Kashuu looks up, the taller one can see tears running down his cheeks.

Imanotsurugi notices next and before Kashuu can say or do anything, he's surrounded by all five of his band members. Ishikirimaru pats his shoulder - until Kogitsunemaru grabs him a bit forcefully and pulls him into a tight hug. They don't need their memory to understand that the situation is bad. Really, really bad.

Mikazuki is standing next to them looking rather helplessly. Non of them asked how Kashuu's talk to Yasusada went. It's obvious that the result wasn't really positive.

But when Kashuu pulls back and rubs his nose they're all surprised to see that he's smiling.

"Thank you," he sniffs and blinks away the tears from the corners of his eyes. "Thanks, everyone..."

~

The next morning seems surreal to Yasusada. Waking up from his alarm when he doesn't even remember how and when he managed to fall asleep, getting ready and going to school after what happened yesterday.

And of course they're still staring, still talking behind their hands when they see him walking by. He hates the feeling of being stared at but there are other things keeping his mind busy right now.

He catches himself checking the door, hoping Kashuu would just walk in.

But Kashuu's seat remains empty.

The concert is over, right? So he won't be busy anymore. Then why isn't he here?

It's not like Yasusada would know how to face him. What to do or to say. How to treat him, if and how to apologize. He has no clue, to be honest. But still... somehow he hoped Kashuu would be here.

Be careful about your wishes, is what they say...

~

After their last class of the day he's walking towards the shoe lockers alone, deciding to leave Urashima and Midare alone for a while. He doesn't want them to spend their time on trying to cheer him up, when they could as well continue building up their own relationship. Just because he didn't manage a single kiss without the whole school getting crazy about it, doesn't mean that others can't be more lucky. Apart from that it's time for kendo club and despite all the trouble he's looking forward to that as always. Maybe even a bit more because kendo always makes him calm down. So with his shinai over his shoulder, he changes into his brown shoes when suddenly-

"YASUSADA!"

He startles and turns around from his locker just to see a girl standing behind him, catching her breath. What next? One of Kashuu's fangirls, trying to pull out one of Yasusada's hairs for some voodoo?

"You're Yasusada right? Kiyomitsu's uhm- ah-"

So he was right with his guessing?

"He might be in trouble," the girl pants breathlessly and Yasusada notices only now that she's looking completely terrified. "I saw him with some guys. They... didn't look like they're up for some friendly chatting. I wanted to inform a teacher but ran into you first, so-"

"Where?" Yasusada interrupts her. He doesn't even realize how this whole anger inside him suddenly boils up again just by that once short information and he also doesn't feel how his nails are painfully digging into his palms.

"Tell me where he is!"

Chapter Text

"You got guts showing up here again!" one of the guys in front of Kashuu says. "Was a shitty idea though."

There are four of them, three are taller than him and he has seen them in his class before. He doesn't remember their names though and he couldn't care less.

All he wanted to do was to pick up his stuff from his locker when they suddenly grabbed him and pulled him behind the building. Now, hidden in its shadows, they're cornering him like wild animals, while Kashuu has only the wall a few metres behind him and not really any direction to run.

It's not like he tried to run anyway.

"You probably think you're special huh? Showing up here just for fun, because who needs to take school serious when they got money, right?"

Kashuu doesn't answer. He's really not in the mood for such bullshit and so all he does is letting out an annoyed sigh.

"Say something, asshole!" One of the guys pushes him backwards but Kashuu keeps his balance rather easily.

"Like what?" he asks with a bored tone in his voice.

"Because of you gay faggot, my girlfriend broke up!" the tallest of them yells angrily, grabbing Kashuu's shoulder and pushing him back again.

Kashuu starts chuckling amusedly.

"Oooh that's the problem! Your girlfriend thinks this gay faggot has more balls than you. No wonder, your ego is bruised!"

"You fucking-!" the other spits through his teeth and within a split second he raises his arm and his fist dashes forward.

Kashuu ducks to the side fast enough to dodge it and make the other stumble awkwardly for a second, but in the meantime, one of the other guys grabs him from behind.

When he doesn't manage to pull his arm free and a second guy grabs his other shoulder, he's reminded painfully that he's not a sword spirit anymore. He might be well trained and not weak but he's still only human. A single human. And they're four.

That's what he thinks before a fist hits him into the stomach with enough strength to make him gag and double over. He'd probably fall onto his knees if there were not the two others holding him up on both arms.

"Fucking disgusting piece of shit!" The tallest guy who had just punched him, yells and steps back only to have enough space to raise his leg for a kick.

His foot hits Kashuu's pelvic bone and Kashuu is can probably call himself lucky that the guy didn't manage to kick higher, or he'd have some broken rips now. Nevertheless it's enough to make him almost throw up and suddenly the other two guys let go of him, pushing him away so he falls right into the grass. He has no chance to get up before he feels another kick, this time in his lower back. And another one. Goddammit, that's enough! What are these assholes planning? Killing him?

He's coughing as he tries to get up, but the moment he braces his arms against the grass, another feet kicks against his upper arm and makes it give in once more. A stinging pain goes through his jaw when he hits the ground with it first and he lets out a pained groan.

"How do you like that, faggot?" he can hear one of them laughing while more and more kicks hit his body and he can't tell how many of these guys are beating him up right now or which part of his body hurts the most.

"What is it now? Ran out of smartass lines, huh?!"

"I think that's enough!" The fourth of them who didn't do anything but standing around up to now, suddenly says. Kashuu can't see his nervous face. All he can see is the world flipped in a 90° angle and feet and legs around him.

"You know what his lawyers will do to you, okay? I don't wanna be involved in that anymore."

"Fuck you, you pussy! He deserves it!" One of the other three shouts and then Kashuu is grabbed by his collar and pulled up.

"Guys like you piss me off so much!" he hisses and then spits right into Kashuu's face, who squints his eyes shut.

But suddenly he can here an abrupt noise, as if something really hard is hitting against something else but the pain Kashuu expected from being punched in the face stays out.

When the grip around his collar suddenly loosens, he stumbles backwards, failing to gain his balance in time and a sharp pain goes through his head when the back of it hits the stone wall behind him and his knees instantly give in.

Suddenly he feels extremely dizzy and everything around him is spinning but he can hear these guys shouting, panicking and the guy who initiated the most of all this, is lying on the ground.

"FUCK, he killed him! You killed him, are you crazy?! Oh my god, fuck!!!" they're shouting.

Is that guy... really dead? Or only unconscious?

Kashuu has no clue. All he can see is that there's a lot of blood. And then Yasusada! He sees the wooden sword in Yasusada's hand and it doesn't take much to put one and one together.

Damn... this is bad! Why is he here? He shouldn't have done that! It'll only get him into more trouble.

Kashuu can see Yasusada's angry expression. He's yelling now, but somehow Kashuu can't really grasp his words. He can only see him swinging his shinai. The guy who had only stood by and watched all the time, is gone. And the other two are running as well now. Then everything around him turns black.

~

BODOMM...

BODOMM...

BODOOM...

Is that his own heartbeat?

It sounds so loud. It feels painful with every single throb in his chest. He can't think straight anymore, can't see anything apart from Kashuu lying in the grass. The shinai drops out of his hand as he dashes forward and falls to his knees, pulling Kashuu's unconscious body up to check his injuries but when he looks into his face with the now closed eyes, he freezes. It's a horrible déjà vu. It's cruel to make him remember this out of all things. He doesn't know when or why or how but he knows for sure he has held him just like that before. But the last time...

Yasusada blinks and shakes his head, raising his hand from the back of Kashuu's head. There's blood on it, but not that much. And then he can hear people shouting while approaching them. Suddenly there are medics asking him questions while carefully lifting Kashuu onto a stretcher, teachers are trying to get curious students under control and there's a policeman too, but Yasusada's thoughts are too far away to grasp any of the words spoken.

And he's unable to return from that trance for quite a while.

~

The next moment he really reacts to someone trying to talk to him, is when they're already in the hospital. He doesn't know how long he's been sitting on a chair in the hallway, staring aimlessly, waiting until someone walks up to him, informing him he can go to see Kashuu now.

When he's guided towards the room, he recognizes the five young men standing nearby the door, looking worriedly, some of them walking up and down restlessly. Kashuu's band members. There's also a young boy with glasses who Yasusada doesn't know.

They only greet him with a short nod but don't seem to wonder who he is. Well, he's not really surprised by that.

He enters the room and sees another person with short turquoise hair sitting on a chair next to Kashuu's bed. Kashuu's eyes are still closed.

The young man who looks only a few years older than Yasusada, turns around when he hears the door.

"Yasusada," he says. "I told the doctor to let you in."

"I'm so-" Yasusada starts with a shaking voice but is quickly interrupted.

"Ah, I almost forgot, you don't know who I am, right? My name is Ichigo Hitofuri. I'm Kashuu's manager."

Right, Kashuu mentioned he's doesn't really have parents who take care of him...

"He has a concussion and several contusions but no broken bones. They had to stitch up the head wound from when he hit the wall. But it was only a few stitches, nothing too bad. He'll be fine."

While he explains about Kashuu's condition, Yasusada walks over to the bed, looking at Kashuu's sleeping face. His hands are still clenched to fists and his heart just won't stop racing.

"I'm so sorry..." he finally manages to say.

"For what? Helping him?", Ichigo asks with a rather calm and collected voice.

Yasusada's eyes widen and he quickly shakes his head.

"That's not what I mean, it's-"

"That guy you hit, will make it as well. Luckily for you," Ichigo continues.

"But apart from it probably being not the best idea to use your shinai against him..." He puts a small pause into his words and takes a breath. "I'm grateful for what you did."

Yasusada's mouth is still slightly open as he doesn't know what to say when Ichigo suddenly pulls him into a thight hug.

"Thank you," he hears him saying close to his ear. "Thank you for helping him."

When he pulls back, it's the first time Yasusada sees emotions on his face, other than his rational glare. He's smiling now but rather sadly.

"I'll leave you two alone for now." Ichigo pats his shoulder. "Try not to worry too much. I'll take care of this."

And then he leaves without specifying what he means with this.

Yasusada keeps staring at Kashuu for a moment, not knowing what to do. This whole situation is so messed up and surreal. Slowly he sits down on the chair, looking at Kashuu's hand with its red painted nails and some dirt on it probably from when he was thrown to the ground. He reaches out to carefully wipe the dirt off and then keeps holding the pale hand between both of his owns. He leans over, lets his head fall onto the blanket and then he starts crying.

"I'm sorry..." he sobs and squints his eyes shut but it won't help, the tears are coming anyway and it feels like apologizing is the only thing he knows how to do really well.

How did it end up like this? Why did that have to happen? Yasusada knows that most people would say "It's not your fault" and he knows that Kashuu would say that too. But he does have the feeling that this is all his fault. Because Kashuu came to their school only because of him. To meet HIM! And that's what he got for it. Getting beaten up by some assholes, Yasusada rejecting him, being mean to him right from the start. It's so unlike him, he doesn't even know why he acted like that. Or maybe he does- it's because Kashuu confuses him so much. He keeps Yasusada's mind so much more busy than he wants it to be. As if Yasusada is trying to run away from something that, deep inside he knows, could cause trouble. But in the end, Yasusada caused Kashuu a lot more trouble than the other way round.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't protect you..." he mumbles against Kashuu's hand, still held in his. "I've said those words before, right?"

...

Of course Kashuu won't answer.

"I remember..." Yasusada whispers. "I remember I said that before. Seems like I broke many promises, huh?"

He looks up at Kashuu's sleeping face and memories of another time appear in front of him. Kashuu smiling cheerfully, his eyes shining brightly as he holds out his hand to him, his little finger raised. "Let's make it a pinky promise then! We've always been together, and we always will!" Yasusada chuckles "That's really cheesy!", he teases him and Kashuu makes a pouting face. "Will you promise already?!" he huffs and almost digs his finger into Yasusada's cheek who starts laughing. "Hey, hey, if you force me, it's not really a promise!" - "So you don't want to stay with me forever?" Kashuu sounds really disappointed now, so Yasusada quickly raises his hand as well, linking their fingers as he leans in to whisper into his ear. "I promised that long before you asked me to."

Always have...

Always will...

Yasusada smiles sadly at the memory. How could he have forgotten all that? And why are there still so many gaps? He doesn't know who they were, how they met and all that. But he knows that he didn't meet Kashuu for the first time only some days ago. He has known him for much, much longer. And...

"I couldn't protect you... and I... couldn't stay with you either," he says while staring at closed eyes. An ironic laughing escapes his throat. "This is cruel... why do I remember this out of all things?" His fingers are gently brushing over Kashuu's skin. "Why can't I remember only the happy times?" If there's one thing he knows for sure, than that there are many bad things which he doesn't even want to remember. But he'll probably have to. For Kashuu. And to make up for all of this.

"I'll try my best," he finally says with a small nod. He gets up and lets go of Kashuu's hand, bringing his own to the other's forehead and letting his fingers brush some strands of hair away. "Please get well soon... Kiyomitsu."

...

For a moment he keeps standing next to the bed quietly as if he's hoping that Kashuu would wake up now. But there's no reaction coming from him. So finally, Yasusada leans down and places a short kiss on his cheek, repeating his words only as a whisper. "Get well soon..."

~

When Yasusada comes home, the lights in the house are already turned off, apart from his mother's small reading lamp next to her armchair in the living room.

He closes the front door as quietly as possible, trying to sneak into his room but-

"Yamato."

-that never worked.

He sighs and turns around to go to the living room instead, knowing quite sure what he has to expect.

"I got a call from the school," his mother says with a tired but calm voice as she takes off her glasses and places her still opened book on the table.

Right... after what he did today, he'll have to face the police. They only left him alone earlier, because he was in such a shock, he didn't manage to talk at all. That won't be the case tomorrow. He'll probably be expelled from school...

While he has been in the hospital, all he could think of was Kashuu but now it feels like reality is catching up on him, giving him another slap in the face and far more trouble than he can deal with.

"They told me you didn't tell them what exactly happened," Yasusada's mother says, looking up at him worriedly. "But you will do that, right? You didn't start this, did you?"

"Of course not!" he quickly answers and shakes his head.

His mother simply nods and then sighs. "That's what I told them, too," she says. "But you will have to explain yourself. You're not allowed to go to class tomorrow. But the headmaster wants you to come meet him in the afternoon, so you can tell him everything."

Yasusada quietly nods while staring at the floor.

"Yamato," his mother starts once more to make him look up at her.

"How is your friend?"

Oh? Yasusada doesn't know how much the school told her on the phone, but the sudden question still comes unexpected.

His friend... Kashuu. Until a few days ago he wouldn't even have called him a friend. And now... he seems to be so much more.

"He'll be fine," Yasusada answers rather shortly.

His mother shows him a relieved smile. How can she still smile after the school called to tell her that her son got into a fight?

"Good," she says. "Health is all that matters in the end. Now, it's late already. Good night, dear."

~

The next day, Yasusada surprisingly managed to sleep quite long. He didn't think he would be able to do so at all, but after how he couldn't fall asleep until sunrise, it's probably not that surprising. Sooner or later, the body gives in to its natural needs.

His parents are already out of the house and he's not in the mood for breakfast - and that really shows how horrible he feels.

He spends hours staring at his phone, at the only unknown number in his list of missed calls. Kashuu mentioned he called him so this must be his. Yasusada wonders if Kashuu is awake now. If he's in pain... Maybe Yasusada should call. Or maybe not? Ah, there are really other things Yasusada should worry about. He'll have to talk to the principal in some hours. Who knows how this will end? He's actually quite sure he'll get expelled and that could ruin his whole future. Still, he can only think about Kashuu now.

He puts the phone back into his pocket and walks to the door to put on his shoes. "It can't be helped," he mumbles to himself, before leaving to drive to the hospital first.

~

"Eh? What do you mean he's not here?"

"It means he's been discharged already," the young lady at the info counter answers him.

"But when?"

"Sorry, I cannot give any further information to a stranger."

Ah, damn! Well actually not. Actually it's good that Kashuu was allowed to go home. It means his injuries are not that bad. But still Yasusada feels disappointed when he leaves the hospital. He really wanted to see him now. And why did Kashuu not call him? Wouldn't Kashuu usually call him as soon as he woke up? He'd have every reason to do so. The way Yasusada knows him, Kashuu would want to talk to him instantly, right?

...

Right?

Does he really know him that well? Maybe. But then again, he doesn't really remember, so maybe not?

The thought keeps him busy on the whole way to school and while it's not really a nice thought, it's still better than what will await him there.

~

"Ah, it's you," the headmaster greets him, when Yasusada knocks and enters.

"I wasn't sure if you'd still show up, after things have been settled anyway."

Hah?

Yasusada narrows his brows, looking at the man confusedly.

"Sett...led?" he repeats.

"Yes, I thought you'd know. Kiyomitsu visited me right in the morning, confessing what happened." He lets out a disappointed sigh. "Hands down, I had a bad feeling with that guy right from the start. People like that live in another world..."

What is he talking about?

"They think they can go to school at their leisure and do whatever tickles their fancy. This is not how serious life works, but it seems the spotlight makes them blind for rules and manners."

"Uhm... excuse me, Sir, I'm not sure if I..."

"But to hit someone with a kendo sword... I understood he got attacked and those others will get their punishment too, but using a weapon like that is still absolutely intolerable. He could have killed someone! I'm glad you were there to bring the situation under control, Yasusada."

And in that moment, Yasusada freezes.

Chapter Text

His heart is beating so fast. He's angry, confused, desperate, everything at once. There's something inside of him, like a huge bomb of emotions just about to explode and he never felt such an urge to just let out a loud scream. Not that it would change anything about the whole situation but he still has the feeling it would help. Somehow.

But Yasusada doesn't scream. He hardly ever does. He never gets loud. But while he's walking up the pavement with big, fast steps he's not sure how long he will be able to hold back anymore.

He's been in this area only once and last time it was by taxi. Today, after the rather short dialogue with the principal, he took the bus right away but obviously the public transport doesn't drive to the front door of a celebrity. Celebrities don't really need that - they have chauffeurs or at least cabs. So since the last half hour, Yasusada has been walking from the nearest by bus stop. One might assume that time and physical activity are both good ways to calm down and get rid of boiling emotions but the opposite is the case. The more time he has to think about it, the angrier he gets.

What does Kashuu even think he's doing? No wait: Is he thinking at all?! Playing the hero by taking the blame... This isn't a goddamn fairytale and it won't have a happy end like that! There are so many things Yasusada wants to verbally throw at Kashuu right now. Does he really think he can show up just like that, turn his whole life upside down, make him an emotional mess and then leave completely out of the blue?

"Won't come back to school my ass," Yasusada mumbles to himself.

He's long out of breath when he reaches the big gate which opened automatically last time but today it obviously doesn't. He leans against the metal bars to catch his breath for a second, collecting his thoughts, which is not that easy. He's not really prepared for all that. It's not like he has any plan what exactly to say, what he MUST say to fix all this. He doesn't even know how to fix it. All he knows is that things can't stay as they are. Kashuu can not just disappear like that. Not after what he did to him. What he did... Yasusada takes a deep breath, holding his hand to his chest as if to make his heart calm down. What he did... Stiring him up. Infiltrating his thoughts... his heart...

It can't be helped. He won't achieve anything by standing in front of the gate and doing nothing and he won't get any further from just thinking about possibilities. And with that conclusion he rings the doorbell.

~

Kashuu has been lying on the couch in the living room, staring aimlessly ever since his doctor left after check-up an hour ago. He has his blanket pulled up over his body so that only his head is sticking out. He's not in that much physical pain though. By now it feels more like the ultimate biggest muscle ache of his whole life when in fact the pain comes from the bruises on his body.
Surprisingly his head doesn't hurt much anymore. It's only a punctual, stinging pain at the back of it, where they had to stitch him up. The reason why he looks a lot more horrible is probably because he didn't get much sleep last night and didn't eat anything apart from some soup either. He's not sure if the concussion is to blame for him feeling so sick or if his emotional situation adds to it as well. Somehow, he can't help but to think the second fact is a lot worse. Bruises will heal. Even if it takes longer for a human body than for a sword spirit to recover. He can deal with it. What's a lot more difficult to deal with is the loss of a beloved person.

He lets out a sigh as he stares at the tea cup on the table. It's only inches away. He could just reach out his hand and grab it. Still it feels so unreachable. Just like Yasusada. And Kashuu simply doesn't have enough energy left.

It's only now that he realizes how much strength Yasusada gave him. Has always given. Probably without noticing. The way Yasusada smiled at him. Kind and gentle. The way he looked at him. Affectionate and caring. His voice... Calm and somehow always worried about him. These past years, even if Yasusada hasn't been by his side, Kashuu had always held tightly onto these memories. He kept fighting even without his sword, without enemies. He kept fighting only for him. Only to meet him again. To be loved unconditionally again. And now...

When he went to Yasusada's flat to apologize, he realized he can't see a single reason why Yasusada should forgive him for the trouble he had caused. He remembered Imanotsurugi's words. Maybe Yasusada really just doesn't want to remember.

It's true, Kashuu had basically caused him nothing but problems ever since they met - in all their lifes! He hasn't given him a warm welcome on that day when Okita brought him home. He had seen him as a rival. And even later when they started getting along, he never really did anything for Yasusada. Ah right, apart from breaking. Causing him only more sadness. Leaving him to deal alone with the losses after their master died as well. And then? When they met again in the citadel, summoned by the Saniwa, the first thing he did was blaming Yasusada for leaving him to die alone at Ikedaya. He has been unable to show his true feelings for so long. And even when they managed to sort out all these things, in the end Kashuu couldn't do anything to protect him. He couldn't do anything but to watch him die...

The lump in his throat only grows when he mentally sums up their past and it makes it only more clear than it already is. He really has never done anything for Yasusada. Always expecting the other to run after him. Not giving back. Maybe this is what he gets in return now. Being forced to accept that Yasusada doesn't love him anymore. He's different now. He's living his own new life. What right would Kashuu have to take that away from him with force? Yasusada seems to do well without him. He seems to be fine. And that's the most imporant, isn't it?

In that moment, he hears the door bell.

~

Yasusada waits. And waits... He almost wonders if Kashuu is really at home but even if not - with a house like that maybe he has anyone working for him? Like a cleaning lady maybe? Or a gardener? Anyone who could tell him where Kashuu is? Yasusada has no clue and can only make assumptions and take a close look through the metal bars of the front gate. Ah? Wait what was that?

~

Kashuu quickly pulls back the curtain to hide behind it after taking a look through the huge floor-to-ceiling windows. It's him! Why is he here? What should he do now? Did he see him just now? That's bad! It would probably be best to pretend he's not at home.

"Kiyomitsu!" he suddenly hears Yasusada's voice through the intercom. "I know you're there, so open the gate!"

Damn...

He scuffs back to the front door, leaning his forehead against the wall next to the intercom with a sigh. By pressing a button on the small device on the wall, he switches the screen on to see Yasusada through the security camera. Ah, that's so cruel. He's so close, standing right out there in front of his gate and Kashuu would love to just let him in, hug him, kiss him, beg him to please, please, please love him back...

His voice sounds surprisingly calm, when he presses the speak button and says: "What are you doing here?"

Yasusada's heart makes a little jump either out of relief or growing nervousness, he doesn't know.

"We need to talk. Open the gate!"

He realizes only now that he somehow managed to put himself into the same situation as Kashuu had been two days ago. He just said exactly the same words. And last time, Yasusada had refused to talk. He couldn't feel more guilty about that now. If only he wouldn't have been so stubborn, so angry, so unfair. Maybe then, Kashuu wouldn't even have ended up in hospital.

"Please..." he adds with a more quiet voice. "Please let me in!"

...

Kashuu doesn't answer. What Yasusada can't see is that behind the close doors, Kashuu is still leaning his forehead against the wall, fighting with tears. He can't. He just can't do that anymore. He can't go back to school, he can't stay part of Yasusada's life and deal with the fact that he doesn't love him. He really thought he could... as long as he can at least see him. But this is cruel, way too cruel and he can't controle, can't hold back his feelings. They'll always break through, always make him do stupid mistakes, fuck up and cause Yasusada trouble and he doesn't want that. Yasusada deserves better. He deserves to be free of his past after so many years of suffering.

"I can't," he finally answers, voice quiet to make sure it won't sound too broken.

Yasusada grits his teeth. This won't go anywhere! They're running around in circles and he's not up for that.

"Dammit, is this supposed to be your revenge?" he shouts into the speaker. "How about that then? I'll stay here until you open the gate. Let's see how many paparazzi will be interested in the guy you've kissed camping in front of your doors!" He's using Kashuu's own weapons against him, hoping that Kashuu will give in to that.

Kashuu sighs. "I won't open and I don't care what the press writes about me but you should, so just go back home!"

Well okay, it was worth a try...

Time for plan B then.

What did Kashuu do to him, to make him become like that? To make him act on instinct before thinking twice.

That's what he thinks when moving backwards. Just a few steps and then-

he throws his bag over the gate.

Kashuu looks at the security camera with narrowed brows. What was THAT? Did he just-? Wow, wow, wait, is he going to-?!

Outside the gate, Yasusada already grabbed the metal bars, trying to find some higher part that he could use to climb on and pushes his body up-

"He's really-!" Kashuu gasps and slams the front door open but in that moment, Yasusada already climbed over the gate and-

"Woaaah-!"

-falls onto his butt on the other side.

With a shrill and earpiercing sound, the alarm is set off and Kashuu almost trips over his own feet because he was about to run over to Yasusada but then he turns on his heels to switch off the alarm first, before he starts running again.

Yasusada gets up and dusts down some dirt from his pants quickly before walking up and past the hedges and flowerbeds with big steps. They meet halfway, close to the pool with the water surface reflecting the lights of the garden lamps which switched on automatically when the sun disappeared behind rooftops and trees.

"What are you doing, you idiot?!" Kashuu yells as soon as Yasusada is in front of him.

"No, what are YOU doing, you even bigger idiot?" Yasusada yells back, poking his index finger against Kashuu's chest.

"Telling the principal it was you who hit that guy? Are you nuts? Do you know what will happen to your carreer when the press writes about that?"

Yasusada doesn't know much about these things but he saw what happened just because of a short kiss. He doesn't even want to imagine what might happen if an idol hit a student with a wooden sword.

"I don't care anymore," Kashuu hisses back. "Do YOU know what will happen to YOU when they find out the truth?"

"Leave that up to me, it's non of your business!" Yasusada quickly answers. "I did it and I'll deal with the consequences on my o-"

"Jeez, don't be stupid, Yasusada!" Kashuu interupts him. "Forget about your pride for a second there! What about school? University? Kendo? Trust me, it's not worth giving up all your chances, just because of-"

"Because of WHAT? Because of YOU?"

Kashuu stares at him wordlessly. Yes. That's actually what he was about to say. But now when Yasusada says it, it sounds different.

"Ha ha," Yasusada suddenly chuckles and it reminds Kashuu painfully of a time long, long ago, when Yasusada would make fun of the enemy on the battle field. "Maybe the principal was right at least with one thing."

Kashuu tilts his head, looking at the other confusedly.

"Maybe you really become kinda spoiled as a celibrity."

What?

"But let me tell you something," Yasusada continues, still glaring at him angrily. "You can't simply step into my life, tell me about reincarnations and all that... You can not... hit on me and then just give up and disappear! You can't do that! I won't let you!"

The words leave a warm feeling inside Kashuu's chest. Because they sound as if Yasusada really cares. As if he wants him to stay part of his life. Is that feeling... hope? Then why does it hurt so much? Maybe he's just scared that he's interpreting this wrong. He lowers his head, staring at the ground because he can't bear looking at Yasusada's face. His hands are clenched to fists as he tries not to tremble like a child.

"Then what else do you expect me to do?" he quietly asks without looking up. "All I'm really good at, is causing you trouble. I've been... so selfish, putting my needs above everything, even above your well-being."

Yasusada's eyes widen when he hears those words. Mostly because they could be his own. Only causing him pain, putting his own well-being above Kashuu's feelings and stepping on them like a heartless monster. Now they're standing in front of each other, blaming themselves for the same mistakes and getting nowhere. How ironic...

"I didn't spend a second..." Kashuu continues and only pauses to take a deep breath. "...thinking that you might be happier now. Without me." The words hurt only more when being said out loud and by now he can't hold back the trembling in his voice anymore. It's dark but the garden lamps are bright enough to show the tears running over his cheeks. "I'm such an egoist... but I just- I just wanted you back." Ah fuck it, it's too late, he's already a crying mess now so he can as well look up at Yasusada. "I'm so sorry," he sobs as wet crimson eyes meet deep blue ones. "I... don't think those feelings will ever go away. I won't ever stop loving you. But- I won't bother y-"

And that's how far he gets before Yasusada grabs his wrist to pull him closer but-

"Wah-!"

Kashuu slips on the wet stones next to the pool and loses his balance. It all happens within a split second. Out of reflex he grabs Yasusada's shoulder, pulls him along, makes him fall forwards and instead of catching each other, they both fall with a loud - SPLASH - right into the pool!

Kashuu flails about with his arms and legs, his mouth wide open to take a deep breath when he gets back to the water surface. His hair is completely wet so he shoves it back from his forehead, rubbing his eyes so he can see clearly again.

But he hardly gets a second to look at the other before Yasusada suddenly grabs his shoulders and pulls him into a kiss.

And that's the second in which Kashuu's world stops spinning. Everything is on standstill apart from the two of them. Apart from this kiss. It's passionate, almost wild and it makes Kashuu gasp and whimper and sigh into it as Yasusada's lips are pressed against his own, moving impatiently, parting his lips and sliding his tongue between them eagerly as if to eat him up.

Kashuu has no clue why this is suddenly happening and he doesn't want to think about it either. All that matters is that it IS happening and his heart is beating like crazy, it feels like bursting. He has never been so happy in this whole new life! How did he miss that! Yasusada's lips, his tongue, his taste, his breath on Kashuu's face. And it's Yasusada who started it! It's Yasusada kissing him, not the other way round. Kashuu doesn't want to stop and so he grabs the back of Yasusada's head, fingers brushing through wet hair and pulling him close. He can feel Yasusada's arms around his shoulders, his chest being pressed against Kashuu's and it's almost too much for him, he almost forgets to move his legs to keep himself up and not literally drown in this kiss.

The moment, Yasusada's lips touched Kashuu's it felt like some wall inside his chest was breaking down. A last barrier that shouldn't have been there to begin with. He did it out of instinct but it feels right to kiss him. It's a weird feeling, difficult to describe but somehow Yasusada has the feeling that he's meant to do this. Their lips are meant to touch, fitting onto each other like a key into the matching lock. Soft and warm and moving against each other as if they knew exactly how to respond to every single touch. Yasusada has no clue how Kashuu does that, but he's filling this emptiness Yasusada has felt his whole life and never knew where it came from. He had always thought he's just a bit of a weirdo but never knew why he felt that something was off, something was missing. And now it all makes sense. Because suddenly this feeling is gone. As if Kashuu is completing him...

No matter how it might be possible but at this point he somehow believes into Kashuu's words. Something is connecting him to this person. Attracting him so much, he has never felt something like this before.

Eventually he pulls back only to take a deep breath and then look at Kashuu as if he's shocked by his own acts.

Kashuu brings his hand up to the other's cheek, stroking over wet skin gently. And when Yasusada's eyes meet his, Kashuu can see that something in them changed. Yasusada looks at him differently now. But Kashuu knows that expression from long, long ago and damn, how did he miss it!

"I swear..." Yasusada whispers. "You'll end up in hell for dragging me there, Kashuu Kiyomitsu!"

Kashuu chuckles, and he's so relieved and happy and overwhelmed that he doesn't notice tears running over his cheeks at the same time. "I don't mind," he says. "As long as you'll go there with me."

Chapter Text

Yasusada notices the tears on Kashuu's face and he doesn't know how to react to them but he can tell that the reason for them is different now from some minutes ago. Because now Kashuu is smiling. And Yasusada realises how much this smile warms up his heart. That smile which is so different from the one he shows on stage. As if it was reserved only for him.

"Ah- let's get out of the water," he says as if he remembered only now that they're still in the pool. He climbs up the nearby ladder and reaches out for Kashuu's hand to help him though Kashuu seems to be fine.

"Sorry," Yasusada says nevertheless. "You're injured and I made you fall into the pool."

"You didn't make me," Kashuu answers. "I slipped and pulled you along."

"But-"

"No "Buts", stop apologizing and come," Kashuu interrupts him and grabs his wrist, pulling him towards the house almost impatiently.

~

It's a strange atmosphere between them somehow and it's so intense that Yasusada pays little attention to the actually quite impressive interior when he follows Kashuu into the house. While Yasusada usually had the feeling he needed to say something, now it's the exact opposite. He doesn't explain his sudden action, doesn't say why he suddenly kissed him but it seems like Kashuu isn't waiting for an explanation anyway. He seems to be completely happy with the fact itself, not caring about the reason as long as Yasusada is just there.

"Uhm, where are you pulling me?" Yasusada still asks when Kashuu won't let go but drags him up the stairs.

"We're all soaked in case you didn't notice," Kashuu chuckles as they enter his bedroom and he literally pushes Yasusada backwards onto his bed.

Yasusada feels his nervousness growning when he's sitting on the huge bed. Is this okay? He's only ruining the sheets with his wet clothes.

"Ah, right, we should get ch-" he starts but doesn't get to finish the sentence, when Kashuu, still standing in front of him, leans down to cup his face with both hands and kisses him on the lips.

Yasusada holds his breath out of reflex, being completely taken by surprise but not reluctant at all. Kashuu's kiss is actually not much different from the one a few minutes ago in the pool. It's just as intense, just as impatient and passionate - maybe even more. Almost as if this is exactly what he has been waiting for. As if Yasusada's kiss gave him permission to finally show all his feelings as well.

"Mh-" Yasusada hums into the kiss when he feels Kashuu's tongue pushing against his lips, asking him to open his mouth and he does, because being this close to Kashuu feels so much better than he thought. It feels so, so right, although he still doesn't get it. He can feel Kashuu's hands running down from his cheeks to his throat and the collar of his shirt, skilled but trembling fingers hastily starting to unbutton it.

He breaks the kiss only to gasp for air and when Kashuu is about to pull the wet shirt down over his shoulders.

"Did you..." he mumbles a bit breathlessly. "...change your mind? About giving up?"

Kashuu looks into his eyes and then his smile widens. "You don't mind me doing this, do you?" he asks instead of answering the question.

Yasusada doesn't even need to think about it before shaking his head. He never thought he'd let someone else touch him like this so easily. So quickly. After knowing each other only so shortly. But this is different. He doesn't understand his own feelings but everything seems to be different when it's Kashuu.

Kashuu chuckles and leans in, nuzzling his nose against Yasusada's cheek and whispering into his ear. "It's because you still love me."

The words make Yasusada's heart skip a beat.

"I could see that now," Kashuu continues. "Finally..."

His breath is tickling on Yasusada's skin and sending a shiver down his spine. He's getting goose bumps on his arms.

"I was about to give up because I thought it was hopeless. But now I think deep inside, you still love me. Just like I love you. Always have... always will!"

Yasusada looks at him almost like in a trance. If he would believe in such things, he'd describe it as some kind of magic. He doesn't know when it happened but he realizes only now that he long fell under Kashuu’s spell.

Kashuu pushes him further back until Yasusada lets himself fall onto the mattress and Kashuu crawls over him, kissing his neck, his collarbone and a trail down his chest.

Yasusada inhales deeper as he feels his breath speeding up, his body shivering under every touch of Kashuu's hands which are stroking down his sides, over his pelvic bones and unbuttoning his pants.

"Kiyomitsu-" he gasps when his pants are pulled down over his hips and he’s not sure if his nervousness is bigger than his excitement and curiousity.

"Shh-" Kashuu whispers and looks up at him with a seductive grin before sitting up again just to pull his own wet shirt up over his head and let it fall from the bed. A bandage and some plasters cover parts of his torso but Kashuu doesn't give Yasusada much time to comment or worry about his injuries. He leans down again, whispering against Yasusada's belly: "Let me show you… how much I love you.”

Feeling his breath on his skin, his hair touching his thighs, it makes Yasusada lose his mind and somehow he’s sure, Kashuu knows that.

“Hng-!” Yasusada squints his eyes shut and digs his head into the cushions, his whole body tensing up when Kashuu buries his face between Yasusada’s legs.

The way Kashuu touches him and the sound of his voice when he quietly hums and breathes against his skin, every movement of his body, his hands, his lips, his mouth, his tongue! It feels as if he’s reading his mind, knowing exactly how to touch him, how to make him throw his head from side to side, squirm on the mattress and turn into a mess within the blink of an eye.

Yasusada can’t do much apart from grabbing the sheets to hold onto them but eventually that's not enough anymore and he grabs Kashuu’s hair instead, making sure not to pull on it too much though. Just showing him that he wants him to keep going – though that’s probably obvious because Yasusada’s body speaks for itself and Kashuu is willingly giving him all he’s thirsting for.

Soon, the room is filled by whimpers and moans, smacking sounds and rustling blankets and for that moment, just for this one night, nothing else matters.

~

When Yasusada wakes up, it's quiet around him and that's rare. All he can hear are birds singing in the distance but the windows are closed so their song only barely makes it through the thick glass. Usually he would hear his mother working in the kitchen, cars driving by on the street in front of the house... or long long ago, the Toushirou siblings running and yelling on the hallway. The only thing that feels right and absolutely normal is the feeling of another body being pressed close to his own and the soft, calm breathing of the person sleeping hin his arms.

He keeps his eyes closed but smiles contently, gently brushing his fingertips over Kashuu's shoulder blades. Kashuu responds by taking a deep breath and sighing but he doesn't wake up, just shifts a bit and snuggles closer, his cheek rubbing against Yasusada's chest. Yasusada's smile widens. So cute... Kashuu is so cute, but also beautiful with his hair falling over his shoulders like dark silk. Soft, pale skin, long, slender legs tangled with Yasusada's... He's the most beautiful sword- no, the most beautiful person Yasusada has ever met. Ever had, ever will, he's absolutely sure about that. Yasusada couldn't be more happy to have him lying next to him, sleeping peacefully.

...but how did they end up like that?

It takes a few more seconds until Yasusada is finally fully awake and starts wondering about that.

And that's when his eyes suddenly widen.

It feels like waking up from a long dream but this dream is actually part of reality. They've been reborn! They met again. Kashuu found him but Yasusada couldn't remember. He-

"I couldn't..."

He suddenly realises that now he does! They used to be sword spirits. They were Okita's swords. They faught for the Saniwa together with all the others. They died. And now they're here again. All of that is so clear in his memory that now it feels strange to know that he DIDN'T remember until this very moment! He thinks about the past weeks, about Kashuu trying so hard, about how he treated him and all of that makes his heart beat faster and makes him feel guilty.

Because this person in his arms means so much more to him than he could ever put into words. He's more than just his boyfriend or lover even. He's his soulmate. The most important in his whole life. He's the one Yasusada would instantly kill for if need be.

How could he have forgotten all this?

He doesn't notice tears forming in his eyes until they make their way quietly down his cheeks.

And then Kashuu moves a bit and looks up at him with sleepy eyes.

"Good morning," he whispers quietly but then blinks and looks worried when he see's Yasusada's wet eyes. "Are you crying?"

Yasusada quickly raises his hand to rub his cheek and smiles back at Kashuu, shaking his head.

Kashuu looks skeptically but then a teasing smirk appears on his lips. "Hmm... for a second I was worried you didn't enjoy last night." He grins. "But thinking how long it was, I'd be surprised if you didn't..."

...
Ah, right.

The reason why they're both completely naked. Last night... escaleted a bit.

Kashuu didn't really understand what caused Yasusada to to give in to his seduction but he had been longing to be this close to him for way too long to ask back and risk Yasusada changing his mind. So he just enjoyed the closeness regardless of the reasons.

Yasusada blows out some air and laughs. "I just..." he then starts and looks down at Kashuu, who's chin is still resting on Yasusada's chest. "...just remembered how much I love you."

Kashuu's eyes grow big and his face instantly turns red and Yasusada can guess quite well what's going through Kashuu's mind right now, so he decides to put him out of his misery.

"Actually I remember everything else too," he says, and brushes his hand over Kashuu's cheek. "I'm sorry, I caused you so much pain, Kiyomitsu. I didn't-"

"Wait!" Kashuu suddenly shouts out and gets up to sit onto Yasusada's hips with his legs spread. "Wait, wait, wait! You- you mean you remember? You remember who I am? And everything?"

Is he kidding?! Just like that? Just out of nowhere? He... remembers? Kashuu has never been awake so fast and his heart is beating nervously as he looks down at the other with his eyes full of hope.

Yasusada looks back at him with a nod. "About us being swords, about the Saniwa, Okita-"

Kashuu's hands on Yasusada's chest start trembling just like his lips and then he simply lets his head sink down against Yasusada's shoulders, hugs him tightly and starts sobbing loudly and uncontrolled.

Yasusada puts his arms around Kashuu's shoulders, pulling hims as close as he can and brushes over the back of his head comforting. He's crying too but unlike Kashuu's his tears fall quietly.

"It's fine now," he whispers. "I'm here. I won't leave you again."

"Mentioning Okita within the first five sentences of the day," Kashuu laughs while still sobbing. "That's my Yasusada. My beloved Yasusada!"

Yasusada makes a sulking noise at the teasing comment but then again he can't deny it, right?

"Can't believe..." Kashuu mumbles against Yasusada's neck. "Can't believe I first had to blow you to make you remember me!"

"W-what?!" Yasusada can feel his cheeks heating up at the comment. "I- It has nothing to do with that! Th-that was coinsidence!"

Kashuu laughs and nods and hugs him closer. "Riiiight," he hums and presses his lips against the other's cheek causing a smacking sound from his sloppy kiss but it doesn't matter. He kisses him again and again and again and then he cups his face, makes him turn his head and kisses his lips just as eagerly.

"I missed you so much," he whispers against the other's lips and his voice still sounds a bit broken from crying. "I love you so much. I- always have..."

"And always will," Yasusada finishes their vow and raises his head a bit, to steal another kiss from Kashuu's lips. "Always will..."

~

"Sloooow, you're too slooow! Come on, hurry!" Yasusada yells and grabs Midare and Urashima to pull them through the rows and seats.

"Yeeees, yeees! Why are you even in such a hurry? We have reserved seats anyway," Urashima sighs.

"Exactly, it's not like anyone can just take those away from you," Midare adds.

"Doesn't matter," Yasusada mumbles as he sits down and stares at the stage with excited eyes, glowsticks in each hands, waiting in anticipation for the curtain to open. "Gotta be ready!"

With his headband, fanshirt and bag full of buttons, he looks just like all the fangirls around him - apart from him being the only guy acting like a groupie here. - He doesn't seem to be bothered by it.

The lights in the big concert hall are switched off and instead the spotlights for the stage are turned on, a voice echoing through the loudspeakers announcing the start of the show and all girls start screaming when the curtain raises.

"KIYOMITSUUU!!! GANBATTEEEEE!!!!" Yasusada yells and waves and Urashima and Midare both cover their face in their hands out of embarrassement. Yasusada doesn't care though. He's too enthusiastic to even notice and his eyes are sparkling when Kashuu enters the stage.

~

"Good work, good work!"

Clapping sounds can be heard not only from the audience but also behind the stage when the band members of TouDan highfive each other.

"Today was a great show, thanks everyone!" Ichigo congratulates them as well while he and Hakata hand out water bottles and towels.

Just as Kashuu took the towel, the door to the backstage area opens and Yasusada, followed by Urashima and Midare come in, backstage tickets hanging around their necks.

"Otsukaresama!" they all shout and while Midare jumps right into Ichigo's arms, Yasusada walks over to Kashuu, greeting him with a kiss. "Good job," he mumbles and places another short kiss on his cheek before he pulls back and hands him a bucket of red roses which he hid behind his back until now. Kashuu's eyes start sparkling only more at the present.

"Thank you!" he says with a big smile.

"If I'd have told you half a year ago, that you'd become such a fanboy, you'd probably have killed me!" Urashima says. He still doesn't remember his past, but he's dragged along with Yasusada and Midare all the time anyway and slowly gets to know all his former friends once more.

"I'm not a fanboy," Yasusada huffs, pulling Kashuu into a hug like the possessive boyfriend he is. "I'm his lover!"

Urashima pulls a face and grins, mumbling a teasing and joking "Gaaaay!"

"Urashimaaa~!" Midare suddenly interrupts them and when the blonde boy turns around, the other quickly pecks his cheek, causing Urashima to turn bright red like a tomato. "A-ah, w-what, uhm-"

All of them start laughing at Urashima's flabbergasted reaction.

"So much for that," Kashuu grins.

"Ah, Midare," Ichigo interrupts them. "I baked muffins yesterday. Take some to school for Namazuo and Honebami, too, okay?"

"They're suuuuper yummy!" Hakata comments cheerfully. Namazuo and Honebami still don't have their memory back either. But it's fine for the others as long as they're happy and nearby.

While Yasusada gets into a chat with Ichigo, Hakata and Midare about different flavors of muffins, Kashuu takes a moment to catch his breath, plops down on a chair and wipes his forehead with an exhausted but also satisfied sigh.

"You look a lot healthier now," he hears Mikazuki's voice and when he turns over his shoulder, the taller one is looking at him with his trademark smile. "I'm glad everything worked out for you two in the end."

"Thanks," Kashuu answers with a bright smile. "You sure, you don't wanna try though? I mean making Kogitsunemaru remember..."

He looks over to said person who is busy talking to Imanotsurugi and Iwatooshi.

"I mean it worked in Yasusada's case. Which means it's not impossible for them to get their memories back. I doubt he would have remembered if I didn't push him there..."

Mikazuki's blue eyes follow Kashuu's and he watches his boyfriend without answering for a moment.

"Hmm..." he mumbles calmly and then turns back to Kashuu. "No," he says. "It's fine as it is."

Kashuu laughs and nods as he gets up from his chair. "Fair enough. As long as you're happy."

"So, are we all going to grab some food now or what?," Kogitsunemaru asks into the round. "I'm hungry."

"Me too, I could eat a whole cow on my own," Yasusada sighs and rubs his belly.

"How can you always eat so much? I'd burst!" Kashuu comments and pokes his side. "One day you'll get fat!"

"I never gain weight," Yasusada huffs. "You're just jealous!"

"I'm nooot!"

"Mikazuki starts laughing. "What a pleasant atmosphere, isn't it?" He says to Ichigo who is standing next to him.

"Yeah... almost like back at the citadel..." Ichigo agrees with a smile.

"Citadel?" Ishikirimaru, who walked up behind them asks curiously. "What citadel?"

Kashuu can't help but to start laughing and so do most of the others too, replying in perfect unison: "You're so sloooooow!!!"