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Rin didn't really do relationships, friends or simply acquaintances, they weren't import for his football career. Most of the time they were just woven from lies anyway, so why should he bother?
But not doing relationships didn't stop him from thinking about them. Well, not relationships themselves, but his own feelings. Sometimes, when he went to bed or when there was enough silence and monotonicity, his thoughts would wander. Obviously, Blue Lock was not a good place for this. That didn't stop anyone, but still.
He's not sure when his thoughts turned towards romantic relationships. He's never been particularly interested in them and he likely never will be. Maybe it was because of all the tension in this blue prison. There were clearly some feelings flying here, some more obvious than others. Rin was still pretty sure he wouldn't ever want a romantic relationship but he started thinking about displays of affection.
From his earlier teen years he knew he wasn't into sexual things. He knew it was normal for teens to think about that, but it just wasn't appealing to him. And now with this hypersexual roach around him all the time, those feelings were firmly solidified.
There are lots of people who have non-sexual romantic relationships. That was something he learned on a whim. He had picked up a habit of listening to random English video essays while working out. It all started with him watching international videos about football. When he didn't feel like watching it he started looking at horror video essays and it went on and on. It's definitely a big reason of why he's fluent in English now. It was on a random afternoon when he clicked on the video that would offer him some clarity.
The LGBTQ wasn't really discussed in Japan, but foreigners were very open to discussions. He honestly wasn't paying much attention to the video at first, originally putting it on just because it was over an hour long, but something caught his attention. Asexuality. Feeling little to no sexual attraction. Originally he had thought that he was too busy and that's why he never thought about it. But the idea that maybe he's just like that, that other people who feel the same exist, was strangely comforting. He wasn't all that interested in finding out where he stood on the scale, it seemed to change a bit every day anyway. Some days he truly couldn't care less, it was a thing people did and that's all. Some days he felt repulsed by the idea. But all in all it really wasn't important to him.
The topic of romantic feelings wasn't something he particularly cared about either. It wasn't like he was avoiding the topic on purpose. It just never really came up with anyone. When he was little he'd tried asking Sae about it once, only to be met with a 'You'll understand when you're older'. Ha, as if. Whenever he remembers that moment he thinks that Sae had no clue either but didn't want to seem lukewarm for not knowing.
He'd read about it. About what romantic love is supposed to feel like. It did not make sense. It was so unfamiliar he couldn't even imagine what it apparently should feel like. He'd tried reading a few romance mangas, genuinely just for research, but he always dropped them. All he could feel from the characters was second hand embarrassment.
Now he was at Blue Lock. A place with so much tension between some people he feels like he could wrap it around a neck and cut off someone's airways. And god did it irritate him. Casual public displays of affection were normal even among friends, but geez some people were really walking the line. Yet a small part of him couldn't help but feel jealous. Not about romantic love itself, but the understanding between two partners. No matter how much he wanted to deny it, he yearned to be understood. To have someone, friend, partner, anyone really, who would understand him. Someone who wouldn't look at him like he was messed up, broken or incomplete. Someone who would maybe even partake in his destructive tendencies.
To Rin it was clear. While the guys in Blue Lock respected him as a player, they did not respect him as a person. On field his behaviour was normal. Off field? When he was practically the same, he just wasn't actively applying himself to football? They thought he was a weirdo. And though he didn't care about that, he felt very alone. And one can only be alone with their thoughts for so long before they start thinking.
So he did. He thought about romantic feelings. He thought about the more than platonic less than romantic feelings between people.
Begrudgingly he thought about Karasu and Otoya, sure their relationship was odd, he wasn't entirely sure what it was, but it was obvious they had a great level of respect for each other and a high level of mutual understanding. He thinks they're extremely different, opposites in some regards, but they make an effort to understand each other. Whether consciously or unconsciously. And it's sweet, disgustingly sweet of them.
He thought about Bachira and Isagi, he doesn't think there's any actual romantic feelings there but god they should hear what they say sometimes. He thinks about how they click. How friendly they are on and off field. Even with the competitiveness of Blue Lock.
He thought about Reo and Nagi. The way they were always destroying themselves as players by being together. How damaging it was for both of their development. Yet he could help but feel jealous. Sure their destruction of each other wasn't on purpose. And Rin would never want to damage his football career. But the thought of mutual destruction? It was thrilling.
So one night when he was left with just his thoughts, he decided to read. Read about types of romantic love. He vaguely knew about aromanticism, but he didn't think it fit completely. And it was then that he stumbled upon it. Demiromantic. If this was what best described him, then no wonder he's always been so confused as to how love is supposed to work. He'd never really been close to anyone to begin with. This discovery didn't change anything, except for that tiny sliver of hope. Hope that one day, he will get close to someone. And if he discovers he is just aromantic at the end of that, at least he'll have someone who'll respect him as a person and friend.
Someone he can trust.