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Buck wakes up in a cold sweat, panting for breath. And immediately begins sobbing. It was a nightmare. He knows it was just a nightmare. But it’d just felt…so real.
“Buck?” It’s Eddie. And he’s in Eddie’s house, Eddie’s room, Eddie’s bed. And so is Eddie. Buck doesn’t understand.
“Eddie?” he asks, still disoriented.
“Shh, come here,” Eddie says, drawing him into an embrace. In the warmth of his arms, things slowly start to come back. Eddie’s back. With Chris. Forever. “It was just a bad dream.”
“You promise?” he asks shakily. It’s hard to believe that this is his actual life and not the events that happened in his nightmare.
“I promise, Buck. You’re safe. We’re all safe.”
Buck hums, afraid to close his eyes. But Eddie keeps rubbing his back soothingly, and his limbs keep getting heavier. Soon, against his will, he falls asleep and doesn’t wake up until the soft sunlight hits him in the morning.
And it takes all of two seconds before embarrassment, too, hits him. He hastily tries to detangle himself from Eddie, but Eddie only groans and pulls him in closer.
Huh.
“Morning.” Eddie says grumpily. Adorabl- nope. Buck’s not going there. The day hasn’t even begun yet. “Did you sleep okay?”
“Uh, yeah. What, what about you?”
Eddie sighs contently. “Better than ever.”
“Really?”
“Yes,” he mumbles, nuzzling in closer. “Now shut up. Five more minutes.”
“Okay,” Buck says, bringing his arms around Eddie.
The five minutes turn into ten and then fifteen, and they’re still over way too quickly. It was, it was just comfortable, alright? Just because he misses cuddling his straight best friend the instant it stops doesn’t mean he’s in love with the said straight best friend. Buck is not playing this game. Eddie’s just being a good friend. Buck will not set queer rights back by ten years by being a stereotype. Eddie’s straight. Buck is not in love with Eddie. And they’re likely never going to cuddle again.
Except they do.
After Eddie’s first shift back, they all go get drinks to celebrate. And because Chris is at a sleepover with the 118 kids to get reacquainted, Eddie decides to get properly drunk. And he always gets…clingy when he’s drunk. Basically sitting on Buck’s lap, arm slung around his shoulder kind of clingy. And honestly, Buck is too tipsy to be self-conscious about the fact. Especially when it feels like he’s been handed heaven in form of a person to hold. He just savours it. Every minute of it.
“No joke,” Eddie says, and Buck rarely gets to see him talk this excitedly about anything. He’s so happy. “He sends me like, twelve links. All about accessible skateboards!”
Buck’s stomach swoops. Ravi groans, turning towards Chimney. “So they’re both embarrassingly pathetic about each other.”
“Oh, you haven’t seen the half of it.”
“Don’t want to.” Ravi outright shudders. “The one time I hung out with Buck, he said Eddie’s name 72 times in half an hour. And that’s after I started counting.”
Buck refuses to panic. Doesn’t need to, either. Ravi is just being an asshole and exaggerating. Everything’s fine.
But then Eddie, with his eyes all huge and slightly wet, asks, “Really?”
And no. Buck is still not in love with him. He’s not.
“Well, I, I missed you.” That much is true. He’s allowed to miss his best friend without being in love with him, alright?
Eddie drops his head on Buck’s shoulder and sighs happily. Mumbles, “I think I knew then. When we were building that skateboard,” to the crook of his neck.
“I’ll regret asking this.” Ravi sighs. “But knew what?”
Eddie, impossibly, snuggles even closer to Buck. “That I wanted it to be him.”
Both Chim and Hen glance at each other, curious.
“You wanted him to be what?” Bobby asks patiently.
“To take care of Christopher. If anything happened to me.” Everyone releases their breath, including Eddie. “Of course it took me being buried in a well to actually act on it and change my will.”
“And it took us five more years to know,” Chim says, holding up his glass, “because this is all totally normal and platonic and there’s absolutely nothing to see here.”
Normally, Buck wouldn’t bother about it. But after both his ex and his sister accused him of being in love with Eddie, he…he doesn’t know. He had a feeling the rest of the team would be just as weird, and of course, wrong about this—because Eddie’s straight—and he is proven right.
Buck can only hope Eddie’s drunk enough to forget all of this in the morning. For now though, Eddie laughs. Cackles like it’s the best joke Chim has ever cracked. And the sound of it is too sweet for Buck to mind anything.
When he gets home from the bar, a wave of relief hits him. Because the last time—it’d been Tommy. Even the memory of it fills him with, with a sense of wrongness. And it feels so right, to get home with Eddie. Buck knows that eventually, at some point, it’ll have to stop and he’ll have to move out. But, but he doesn’t want to.
Thank god his credit score is abysmal and Eddie is the best friend he could ever ask for.
On cue, Eddie yawns and then proceeds to go and face plant on the couch. God, he’s so drunk. And Buck is so not in love. Yeah. Not. Because Eddie is as straight as he is gorgeous.
“Eddie,” Buck shakes his shoulder. “Come on, sleep on the bed.”
Eddie just turns and pulls Buck in. Buck is careful to not just, fall on him. But he does lose his balance and ends up on the couch, cuddling Eddie. No. No, Eddie’s cuddling him.
“I missed you too,” he says, “you know that, right?”
Buck, on the verge of tears, nods into Eddie’s shoulder. “I know.”
“I’m not leaving again. Ever.”
Buck’s chest tightens. “Good.”
“I think Ravi will kill either us or himself if I do.”
“It was just, hard,” Buck tries to explain. It was harder on him than anyone else. But that doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t. And others can think whatever they want, as long as Eddie understands what it truly was, it’s fine.
“It was hard for me too, Buck.”
See? He does understand. It was hard for Eddie. Platonically. Because he’s straight. And just because Buck is bi doesn’t mean it suddenly has to not be platonic for him too.
“Okay, come on, you need to drink water and go to bed,” Buck says, pulling away and getting up. Eddie whines, offended. “Come on,”
Eddie just pouts at him, arms crossed. Alright then. Buck has no choice but to drag him to the kitchen. Surprisingly, once Buck’s hands are on him again, he drops the whole pouting thing and happily accompanies him.
“You’re so pretty,” Eddie says, giggling, his eyes not wavering away from Buck as he pours him a glass of water. “It’s unfair.”
“Unfair? Have you seen yourself?”
Alright. Drunk Eddie really makes it hard for you to believe that he’s straight. But he is. Straight. And Buck needs to stop flirting.
“You’re prettier,” Eddie says, kind of…kind of petulant?
And Buck will stop flirting. He will. But he can’t just listen to blatant lies without countering them. “You can ask anyone and they’ll agree you’re the prettier one, Eddie.”
Eddie huffs, taking his phone out. “Alright then,” he says, and starts typing furiously.
Buck’s phone buzzes in his pocket. Eddie’s text “whis nore pretty, mw or Buck???” appears in the 118 group chat.
you’re both annoying and cringe. hope this helps. Ravi replies immediately. With a passive aggressive thumbs up emoji, too. Asshole.
Eddie pouts at the screen, glances up at Buck for a second, then goes back to pouting at the scene.
“Alright, come on.” Buck hands him the glass of water, making sure he drinks all of it. Then manoeuvres him to their bedroom. Getting him to brush his teeth or change out of his clothes is a lost cause. He just takes both their shoes off and joins Eddie on the bed. It’s getting a bit hot for blankets now.
“Can I tell you a secret?” Eddie whispers, turning to him, his eyes glinting wildly.
Buck is not in love with him. He’s not. He’s not. “Sure,”
“I came back for you.”
Buck blinks. Blinks again. “What?”
“I came back for the 118 too. I love L.A. I don’t love El Paso. El Paso sucks. But mainly, I came back for you. Because I love you.”
Platonically, of course. But Eddie knows that. He’s straight.
“I love you too, Eddie,” Buck breaths out. Not in love with him. Love him. Platonically. Because, again, Eddie’s straight.
Eddie smiles, utterly pleased. His cheeks are basically red. But that’s, that’s the alcohol. Not Buck. Eddie’s straight. “Really?”
“Really.”
“Buck.”
“Hm?”
He yawns. The next words come out gibberish, except for “Slow.”
Then he just hums and turns around, taking Bucks hand with him and curling it around his waist.
And it’s getting too hot to cuddle, too. But Buck isn’t an idiot. He presses his chest firmly to Eddie’s back, rests his head on his shoulder. Because honestly? It’s the best thing to ever happen to Buck.
Doesn’t mean it’ll happen again, though.
It happens again.
And this time, they’re in the kitchen, Buck cooking dinner and Eddie nursing a bottle of juice. Both very sober and very awake.
“So?” Buck asks, because it’s been like, twenty minutes and Eddie hasn’t yet volunteered any information. “How was therapy?”
And Eddie just sighs and crashes into his arms.
“That bad, huh?”
“Not, not particularly.”
“Why don’t I believe you?” Buck pushes. Because he knows that that’s what Eddie needs right now. Wants.
Eddie sighs again. Pulls away. “Sorry.”
“For what?”
“Mm,” Eddie tries, but ends up swallowing the rest of his words.
Buck has, he’s always seen Eddie as the sun. Still does. But it really makes Buck blind to when he’s struggling. Especially because Eddie has a tendency to brush it off or keep it to himself until it becomes unbearable and blows up in his face. But thankfully, he’s actually asking for help this time. Or trying to, at least.
“Hey,” he says softly, rubbing Eddie’s arms. “I got you.”
“Apparently I’m touch starved,” he says, trying for a sassy tone. But it comes out squeaky and raw.
And. Oh.
Buck’s pulling him into an embrace before his brain even finishes processing it, no intention of letting go anytime soon. Eddie sighs again, content this time. And god. Buck really is never letting him go.
“Buck,” Eddie says, and Buck can basically hear the relief. But there’s other things too. Embarrassment. At being relieved. God. Fuck.
Buck pulls him in tighter. “Eddie, all you have to do is ask.”
“That’s…the problem, Buck. I don’t really know how to ask for anything, let alone for help. I’ve never,”
“Okay.” Buck has to find a solution to this. Unfortunately, the first thing his mind comes up with, and his mouth blurts out is, “What if you asked me to stop instead?”
“What?”
Buck should take Eddie’s confusion as the opportunity it is and change the subject. What he does instead is take a shaky breath and say, “What if this was the norm and you ask me to leave you alone when you need space instead?”
Buck’s not sure how he thought Eddie would respond to that, but it sure isn’t with “What if I don’t need space?”
Buck’s breath hitches, brain going completely offline. “Then I hold you for the rest of our life.”
A small wet spot appears at Buck’s chest, exactly where Eddie’s eyes are.
“Hold me for the rest of our life.” Eddie says.
And what is Buck supposed to do but just that?
Platonically, of course. Because Eddie is straight. He’s straight. Buck isn’t in love with him. And this isn’t a problem.
This isn’t a problem. But there is a problem.
Buck, for the life of him, can’t stop thinking about kissing Eddie whenever he’s holding him—which is all the damn time. And like, he knows he doesn’t get to complain because he gets to hold Eddie all the damn time instead of being in a different time zone than him now. But it’s just…distracting.
Don’t get him wrong, Buck still doesn’t have feelings for his straight best friend. Will never. But Eddie smells like vanilla and coconut and Buck just, Buck really likes those scents, okay?
He just wants to kiss Eddie’s forehead. Platonically. And the freckle under his eye. His always pink cheeks. His- Buck is not playing this game, actually. It’s a very slippery slope. And he’s…slipping. But he can’t afford to. Eddie’s straight.
And he doesn’t even need the help with cooking anymore, especially not in the form of Buck clinging to him the whole time he makes Thai Curry. But the pact was to bother Eddie till he asks for space anyway. And no. Buck is not doing this for selfish reasons. In fact, this is a selfless act, considering he’s sacrificing his damn sanity for it. He, he can’t even pay attention to what Eddie’s actually doing. He’s just dizzy, using all his energy on making sure he doesn’t kiss Eddie’s shoulder.
“Isn’t, isn’t having someone else in the kitchen annoying, though?” he asks, grasping onto anything that might put a sane distance between them.
“You annoying me is my favourite part of the day, Buck.” Eddie says, leaning back in for just a moment, all content.
It only makes him wanna kiss him more. And not just on the shoulder.
There really is no winning here.
It all comes to a head on a random Friday. They’re watching a movie while Chris is doing homework in his room. And Eddie just…sprawls on Buck. Buck wastes no time in snaking his arms around Eddie’s waist, holding him close. Except now his lips are way too close to Eddie’s shoulder. Again. And Buck really isn’t known for his impulse control.
He’s being tested every day.
And every day he comes this close to failing. But he can’t. Fail, that is. He can’t ruin this. Like, god. Eddie’s asking for help. Eddie trusts him. And right now, he’s just enjoying his movie and his popcorn while Buck is dead-set on ruining everything.
“I can hear you thinking, Buck,” Eddie says, weaving his fingers with Buck’s. “What is it?”
See? Fucking see? Eddie is the best, most amazing friend you could ever ask for. And Buck will kill himself if he ruins things with him.
“Buck?” Eddie’s worried now.
And Buck can’t do it. He really can’t. He leans in and presses a kiss to Eddie’s shoulder.
It’s soft. Barely there.
And he’s fucking terrified. He holds his breath. Gathers enough courage to ask, “Is this okay?”
And Eddie. Eddie flashes him an utterly dazzling and utterly delighted smile. Buck’s heart skips a beat. Guiding his face closer, Eddie just, kisses Buck’s cheek. Says, “Yeah. Yeah, it is.”
Buck’s heart stops. The ground beneath Buck slips away before coming back to him, stronger and steadier this time.
Eddie liked it. It’s okay. He didn’t ruin anything. Fuck.
Buck has no idea what’s going on in the movie. Hell, he’s even forgotten its name. For the rest of the night, he focuses on one thing and one thing only. Eddie’s shoulder. He kisses it non-stop. Paused only when Eddie brought Buck’s hands to his lips and kissed his knuckles, almost reverently.
He can never kiss Eddie on the lips, he knows. Eddie’s straight, after all. But. But he can have this. He can have this.
This is, genuinely, more than he thought he could ever ask for. He’ll be happy kissing Eddie’s shoulder—and because he can’t just resist, Eddie’s bare neck peeking through the Henley collar—forever. Hell, Eddie had kissed his cheek, hadn’t he? So that’s another spot he can have. And if these are allowed, his forehead definitely is.
Look, Buck’s just, he’s greedy about this, alright? And he can’t really bring himself to feel bad about it anymore. Because this is the most joy he’s ever felt. And Eddie, Eddie clearly seems to love it just as much as him. Everything’s okay.
***
It just keeps getting worse and worse. Or better and better. Depends on who you ask. For Buck, it’s kinda both.
It’s…hard to keep his hands and mouth to himself at work. Especially when Eddie’s not even trying. The first time Eddie kisses his birthmark—absentmindedly, Buck assumes, while handing him his morning coffee ten minutes into the shift—the team just…shares looks and silently exchanges money amongst themselves. Chim tries to say something when it’s accompanied by “here you go, baby,” but falters at Bobby shaking his head.
Seven hours and a dozen more pecks all over his face later, Chim can’t handle it anymore. Especially when Eddie well, Eddie naps on Buck. Head resting on his shoulder, arms slung over his waist. And like, Buck tries. But he just can’t help but press a small kiss to Eddie’s forehead and run his fingers through his hair.
“Have something to announce, Buckley?” Chim asks after about ten minutes of vibrating out of his skin.
“Um, no,” Buck says. Because there’s nothing to announce. Eddie’s straight.
Chim sighs deeply. Then takes a picture of them. Maddie’s call is immediate. Chim snatches the phone from Buck and puts it on speaker.
“Why would you not tell me you’re dating!?” Maddie demands.
“Because we’re not.” Buck says. His stomach twists horribly.
“So he called you baby for fun, then?” Chimney chimes in.
“I…assume so.”
“You assume so?” It’s Hen’s turn to be appalled.
“I don’t know. I didn’t ask.”
See? Buck’s not even lying. He can’t even think about it too much without his brain beginning to melt.
“Right.” Chim says, unimpressed. “And you kiss each other for the same reason now?”
“Platonic kisses exist!”
Hen balks. “On the nose?”
“Well, clearly!” Buck says, annoyed now. All this talk is gonna wake Eddie up. But maybe that’d be a good thing. “Eddie’s straight, alright?”
Chim groans loudly. “There’s no way. There’s just no way they’re acting like this when they haven’t even figured it out yet. That’s it. I’m done. I quit.”
“Who’s quitting?” Eddie, the light of his life, an absolute angel, mumbles, waking up just in time to save him from…whatever this is. He can just explain he’s straight and that would be the end of this discussion. Forever.
“Definitely not you. If you quit after all this and I’m stuck with him again…” Ravi shudders at the mere thought. “Absolutely not. Hanging out in a bar once was bad enough. I’m not kissing him.”
Eddie frowns. “Well, I hope not.”
“You guys are so damn weird.” Ravi mutters, turning to leave. “I’m transferring back to B-shift.”
Eddie raises his eyebrow. Buck shrugs, kissing his forehead again. Hen and Chim both groan and decide to get the fuck away from them. But trouble hadn’t gone away with their team leaving them alone. No, trouble had only begun.
Because Bobby is the one to corner them next, when they’re cleaning the glass walls. It’s nothing, really. Just their usual routine. Eddie sprays, Buck wipes. Eddie kisses his birthmark. There is no reason for people to throw them stink eyes. Or for Bobby to pull them into his office and give them HR forms to sign.
Buck doesn’t know what is making his brain leak out of his ears more—the fact that Bobby had clearly filled these forms years ago, or the fact the Eddie is just…signing it. He doesn’t even try to explain the situation.
Okay. Okay, the situation is complicated. The subject is, well, touchy. So if Eddie would rather pretend that they’re dating than explain it and lay himself bare in the process, then so be it. Buck signs it too.
“Sorry,” Bobby says, genuinely apologetic. “I really wanted to give you more time. Let you come to me when you’re ready. Unfortunately, you can’t take it at your own pace and also engage in PDA. Or Engage in PDA at work at all, for that matter.”
“Uh,” Buck really doesn’t know what to say.
“But I trust you to keep it within reason,” Bobby reassures, smiling widely. He looks…borderline giddy about the prospect of them dating. Buck is losing his mind. But for some reason, Eddie isn’t.
“Thank you, cap,” he says, hugging him.
“I’m proud of you.”
“I am too.”
Bobby pulls Buck into a hug after pulling away from Eddie. He, he has tears in his eyes.
“I’m so happy for you, kid.”
Buck wishes he could say that too. But all he is, is confused.
Maybe this is all actually a wild, elaborate, cruel dream.
Maybe he’ll wake up. And this time, instead of cuddling him, Eddie will still be in Texas.
***
Buck should feel bad about lying not only to the 118 but also his sister about this. And he does. A little. Especially when they take them out on a celebratory dinner and start inviting them on double dates. But one, Eddie needs him. And two, none of them would even believe him if he told them the truth.
The only person who does know the truth is Chris. Because Buck knows Eddie wouldn’t lie to him about it. And, the kid was always sassy, but now it’s kinda skyrocketed on account of him being a teenager. There hasn’t been a single second where he hasn’t tried to tease them by acting like they’re a real couple now. And Eddie always plays along. Trying to embarrass him back, maybe. Buck doesn’t know.
But even with the constant teasing from literally everyone, to Buck, there’s only one true downside to this whole arrangement.
Eddie’s fast-approaching birthday.
It’s one of Buck’s favourite days, really. But Eddie’s always tried to not make a big deal about it. And Buck has, with great difficulty, respected that. But Eddie’s…Eddie’s been into joy lately. And Buck would be a really shitty best friend and fake boyfriend if he didn’t celebrate his birthday the way it deserves to be celebrated.
He’s prepared, too. Armed with a shiny new clipboard.
The downside? He isn’t away from Eddie enough to whip it out. They work together and live together and go grocery shopping together. And while Buck wouldn’t have it any other way, he does need some time to decide on the cake and the décor and order the stuff. Unfortunately, Eddie’s showers are always quick. He’s back in the bedroom before Buck can even decide if he wants the cake to look like a cowboy hat even though it clashes with the light, citrusy flavour. He doesn’t even get to write maybe the hat could be pastel pink before the door opens and he has to quickly hide the clipboard under his hoodie.
Eddie flops on the bed beside him, smelling divine. “Everything alright, baby?”
“Uh, yeah. Yeah.” Buck says. You’d think by this point he’d be used to Eddie calling him that. He isn’t. “I’ll just, I wanna sleep on the couch tonight.”
He gets up, ready to make a run for it. But Eddie stops him by holding his wrist. “Why?” he asks with a little laugh, kissing his knuckles. “What did I do?”
“Nothing!” Buck says, trying to sound normal so badly. “I just, miss the couch.”
Eddie just stares at him. No, no he stares up at him. Through his lashes. EddieisstraightEddieisstraightEddieisstraightEddieisstraight, Buck mentally chants.
“I, I need background noise to sleep,” he says out loud, prying his hand away from Eddie’s. And no, he’s not gonna feel sad or guilty about that. He needs to plan the party. “You’ll be disturbed.”
“Buck,”
“Night, Eddie!” Buck says, and rushes out before Eddie can use those ridiculous eyes on him.
But he doesn’t even get to lie on the couch and take a breath before Eddie follows him to the living room, arms crossed. “Guess we’re sleeping on the couch, then.”
Buck sighs, defeated. He takes the clipboard out from under his hoodie and sets it face down on the coffee table. Then opens his arms in invitation.
Eddie doesn’t waste a single second. He sprawls on top of Buck with a triumphant and fond smile. And Buck has no choice but to laugh as holds Eddie tight, kiss the top of his head. “Stage five clinger,”
“I’ll give you space if you actually want it,” Eddie says, peppering kisses all over Buck’s chest and shoulder. “But if it’s just because of the party, then I don’t even want it.”
Well, Eddie just not getting a party isn’t allowed.
“The surprise part is gone anyway.” Buck gasps out as Eddie’s mouth latches onto his neck. “How, how about I don’t find excuses to avoid you and we plan it together?”
“I mean it Buck. I only want two things that day.”
“Okay,” Buck can definitely work with that. One of those things could be the moon and he’d still try to get it for Eddie. And this isn’t Eddie saying no to celebrating his birthday because he doesn’t think he deserves joy. No, this Eddie actively asking for something he knows he’ll like more. Buck is just, he’s so proud of him. “What two things?”
Eddie smiles shyly, cheeks turning redder. “Bake me something sweet.”
“Done! And?”
“Kiss me.”
Buck’s confused by just how nervous Eddie looks and sounds. He kisses his forehead, as if to ask, sure, what’s the big deal?
And though Eddie had closed his eyes contently to receive the kiss, he says, “No. I mean, kiss me.”
Oh.
Like. Like on the mouth.
Buck is fine.
He’s not going through a full-body shock.
“Buck?” Eddie asks, eyes so, so big. And honestly, Eddie’s kind of giving him a gift: the permission to kiss him.
Buck’s just…worried he won’t be able to ever recover from it.
Because Eddie’s still gonna be straight after it. He’ll still likely find a girlfriend at some point. Propose to her. Marry her. And Buck will be there, standing at the altar as his best man, knowing the taste of his lips.
“Hey,” Eddie caresses his cheek. “What happened, baby? Where did you go?”
“Nothing,”
“You don’t have to if-”
“No, no, I want to.” Buck says, scared now. He’s not, he’s not losing this opportunity. He’s gonna kiss Eddie even if it kills him. “I really want to.”
Eddie grins at that, bright and wide. “Deal, then. Kiss me at midnight.”
“Thought that was a New Year’s thing.”
“Maybe it can be a birthday tradition, too.”
Tradition. As in, Eddie wants to keep doing this for years and years to come.
“Not sure your wife will like that,” Buck mutters, trying to keep the bitterness out of his tone.
“She’s dead, Buck. And she asked for a divorce before dying.”
“No, I meant like, in the future.”
Eddie laughs at him, amused. “What?”
“Nothing,” Buck says again, not wanting to ruin the moment. Whatever happens in the future, happens. But right now, Eddie’s in his arms. And that’s all that matters.
Buck doesn’t kiss him at midnight exactly. Because at midnight, he and Chris watch as Eddie blows the candles. They’re all in the kitchen, wearing goofy party hats and matching smiles. And because the team is still gonna throw him a party with the cowboy cake later, Buck baked him birthday eclairs instead. And honestly? he’s kinda glad Eddie asked for a quiet celebration first. There’s something about the moment, bathed in candlelight. And there’s something about this Eddie—soft, kinda sleepy, and unabashedly happy. Buck doesn’t wanna share. Not even with the 118. The only exception is Chris. The moment just, it feels theirs.
“This is so good, Buck,” Eddie says, devouring the éclair.
“Yeah,” Chris agrees. “Make it for my birthday, too. Please.”
Buck is gonna cry. Overcome with stupid love, he says, “I’ll make it every day if you want.”
“No, you won’t.” Eddie says. Warns.
“Healthy ones!” Buck says, “With like, cottage cheese and multigrain flour and vegetable fillings!”
“Ew,” Chris groans, disgusted. “Nobody wants that.”
The three of them dissolve into laughter.
“Alright,” Buck concedes. “Special occasions only, then. Preserves the magic.”
Eddie smiles at him, so soft and so fond that Buck wants to cry again. He has no choice but to kiss his cheek.
Chris groans again. “You’re both grosser than that monstrous vegetable éclair thing.”
“And you’re up later than your bedtime,” Eddie says without a beat.
“For your birthday!”
“And thank you for that, bud. I Appreciate it. But now, bed.”
Chris sighs, nodding. He hugs Eddie, mumbling another, “Happy birthday, dad.”
Eddie kisses his forehead. “Love you, mijo.”
“Love you too. Good night.”
“Night.”
Chris leaves. Eddie turns to Buck, eyes gleaming. He waits until he hears the click of Chris’ door closing shut. Then, nervously, “My gift, Buckley,”
Buck gulps. Then nods. Then inches towards him. Tentatively cradles Eddie’s face as Eddie’s hands find his waist. It’s just a soft press of lips at first. Almost chaste. Buck pulls away too soon, only to take one look at Eddie and dive back in with full force. Eddie responds in kind, moaning and kissing him back like his life depends on it. He, unsurprisingly, tastes like the chocolate éclair. And Buck doesn’t even want to breathe. It’s overrated anyway. Doesn’t feel nearly as good as kissing Eddie.
But Eddie pulls away, panting, and leans his forehead on Buck’s.
They stay like that for a while, letting it settle into their skins. Buck’s not sure it ever will. There’s a good chance his world will stay tilted off its axis forever now. And he doesn’t even mind.
“Dance with me,” Eddie says, breaking the silence.
Buck nods. And Eddie effortlessly leads him.
Well. Effortless if you don’t count Buck stepping on his toes a few dozen times. Eddie doesn’t seem to care, though. He just laughs, giddy and unbidden.
“How are you so bad at this?”
“How are you so good at this?” Buck asks. Well, of course Eddie is good at everything. But he would’ve never guessed dancing was also on the list.
“Did ballroom dancing as a kid for years. Competitive.”
Buck blinks. “Wait, seriously?”
Eddie nods.
“How did I not know about this?” Buck tries to rack his brain for when Eddie might’ve mentioned it. But nope. And he refuses to believe he’d ever forget information like this. “What else are you hiding from me? Eddie?”
Eddie sighs. “I don’t talk about it because my parents kinda sucked all joy out of it.”
Oh. That makes sense. Eddie’s parents are really…something. Buck is pretty sure the concept of joy just, flees as soon as it sees them. The only good thing they’ve ever done in their lives is birth Eddie. And his sisters, Buck assumes. But he barely knows them.
“So, so this?” he asks as Eddie spins him.
“Well. Nobody can ever suck the joy out of you.” Eddie pulls him in tight. Then presses a firm kiss to Buck’s birthmark.
And Buck.
Buck is so in love with him.
It’s unbearable, actually.
And like, who needs a heart anyway? It can break all it wants. He has Eddie in his arms, and that’s all that matters. Besides, it’s Eddie’s own fault for loving Buck the way he does despite being straight. And for saying things like this. Because who does that?
“Baby?”
And goddammit. Buck kisses the life out of him. This kiss is way messier than their first one. Hungrier. And it ruins kissing forever. Because nobody on earth is gonna compare to Eddie. Ever. He kinda wants to laugh about Tommy calling him competition now. As if.
Eddie chases it after they pull away to breathe. Hugs him tight. And honestly? Heterosexuality can try to pry Eddie from his cold, dead hands. Buck isn’t letting go.
“Come on,” he says, dragging Eddie to the bedroom. But Eddie’s the one who pulls him into the bed, giggling. And there’s only one thing Buck can do about the situation. Kiss each inch of Eddie’s beautiful face.
He starts with kissing his red, red cheeks. Moves to his jaw, neck, moves back up to his forehead. He can’t stop. Eddie looks so, so pleased as he continues giggling softly, his eyes closed.
Buck will happily spend the rest of his life like this. Loving Eddie. Making him happy. Buck wants to spend the rest of his life like this. He just hopes that he gets to.
Eddie sighs at him, opening his eyes. “God, I love you,” he says as he steals a kiss to Buck’s birthmark, all breathy.
Buck’s brain really can’t be expected to work in these conditions.
“Even though you’re straight?” he asks.
Eddie reels back at that, eyes utterly wide. He sits up. His mouth hangs open as his face morphs into confusion. “You’re serious.”
Buck shrugs, well and truly lost now. Eddie being straight is public knowledge. Why is he confused?
“Buck,” Eddie says, exasperated. “We were kissing. You’re accusing me of being straight in the middle of kissing.”
“So, so you’re not?” Buck says, suddenly filled with a mountain of hope. If Eddie’s really not straight, then he can…he can have this. Have Eddie.
“Buck,”
“Hey, you never came out!”
Eddie falters. “Okay. Okay, my fault. I…didn’t know how to. But we were kissing! This whole time!”
“Not on the lips,” Buck says, defensive. “That was…not even ten minutes ago.”
“Because we were taking it slow! I’d even confessed my feelings that night. You’d said it back! I-”
Oh. Oh. Everything makes, just, so much more sense now. They’d been…dating since Eddie’s welcome back party at the bar. Buck’s not sure he can even process it right now. “It really wasn’t platonic?”
“No!” Eddie says, offended. “Have you seen me kiss Chimney’s birthmark or call him baby?”
“Chimney doesn’t have a birthmark.”
Eddie’s mouth hangs open in sheer disbelief. And okay, maybe there really was no platonic explanation for the baby thing. Or for the rest of it.
“Unbelievable.” Eddie shakes his head, laying back down. “Buck. We signed the HR papers. Everyone knows we’re together. Well, everyone except you, I guess.”
“I…thought you wanted to pretend to date because it was easier than explaining the whole touch starved thing.”
Buck knows just how dumb he sounds as soon as the words leave his mouth. But like, he doesn’t mind. Can’t. Not when Eddie huffs, rolls on top of him and kisses him senseless.
He’s never been this happy for being wrong. Eddie loves him back. Not platonically. Eddie is his.
“Idiot.” Eddie mutters breathlessly.
“Well, I love you too.”
“Yeah? Even though I’m straight?”
Buck groans loudly, drawing a laugh out of Eddie. “I’m never gonna live this down.”
“Oh, never.” Eddie kisses the corner of his mouth, moves to his jaw.
“In my defence, it was…it was too good to be true.” Buck says, chest aching. “You being straight had to be the catch.”
Eddie softens at that. Stops his ministrations to look Buck in the eye, and gently cradle his face.
“There’s no catch, baby.” And the way Eddie says the word baby? Yeah, yeah, Buck definitely should’ve realised sooner. “I’m gay. And I’m yours. Forever.”
“Forever?” Buck asks, the feeling of it blossoming in his chest, spreading to every inch of his body, replacing any fear or disbelief he still harboured.
“Forever.”