Chapter Text
It had been two years since Kim Dokja had woken up. Each company member would take turns bringing him flowers or fruits. Lee Gilyoung and Shin Yoosung on Tuesdays, Yoo Sangah and Lee Seolhwa on Thursdays. Lee Hyunsung on Saturdays and Jung Heewon on Sundays. And so on.
Lee Jihye, who used to frequent Dokja's hospital room on Friday afternoons, had stopped three months ago. Fridays weren't too bad. Assignments could be tossed over to the weekend, so she liked lazing around in the quiet hospital room, chatting with Dokja about anything under the sun. He wasn't much of a talker, which was fine. She talked enough for the both of them, and she had plenty to ramble about. So she did, for hours and days on end.
It was alright.
Her life wasn't too shabby either. She had a roof over her head and food on the table twice a day. (Courtesy of Sangah, the saint of a next-door neighbor that she was.) She barely saw Yoo Joonghyuk around anymore, and she supposed he was just taking care of Dokja at the hospital when no one was available.
Things started feeling strange after she failed her graduation exams.
She was held back a few years. Nothing she couldn't handle. A mere hiccup compared to fighting gods and trespassing world lines. She simply didn't like her new classmates.
Even though they were a few years younger, they spoke lightly about the apocalypse as if it never had anything to do with them. Making light banter about scenarios and penalties, laughing about how they'd put the Dokkaebis in their place if they were a part of it all. They brought makeshift weapons to school, brandishing them as their own skills. Cliques adopted names reminiscent of the varying nebula that had almost killed Jihye herself back then.
Kids would be kids. Jihye had lived through twice her lifetime at that point, she was certain that she knew better.
It was all tolerable.
Then it wasn't.
"Jihye-ya, skipping school again?"
Jihye dragged herself to the side of her bed, tilting her phone receiver to her face.
"What's it to you, unnie."
"Nothing. I mean," Heewon sighed. "Do what you want. Who cares, at this point."
"You should be scolding me."
"Maybe." A dry laugh. "Guess I'm tired too?"
Jihye hummed and closed her eyes.
Five more group projects with students living in a different reality.
Two years, then exams. Graduation. College, if she could make it in. An undergraduate degree for four years. Then...
"I'm off to work. See you, Jihye-ya."
"Mm."
Then what?
Jihye hung up the call, and swiped open one of her chats to text a quick message to her teacher.
Sorry Miss, I forgot to do the report, I'll hand it in tomo_
She stared at her screen.
Sorry Miss, I forg_
Excuse me ma'am, I'm texting you to inform you that my report submission will be delayed by a few_
_
She turned off her phone, and tossed an arm over her face.
"Jihye-ya."
Dokja looked a lot better than he did the last time she saw him. Jihye shuffled into the room, closing the hospital door behind her. Her school uniform was crinkled. She wouldn't be surprised if it had a strange odour. The last time she changed was a few days ago.
"Ahjussi. Hey."
Dokja wasn't really looking at her beforehand. His eyes were always blank, even if they stared right at the person he was talking to. As if looking at something far away, a space that wasn't really there.
Perhaps her tone was so tired that he found it unordinary. She noticed his irises focus back on her. The her in the present.
"It's been a while. What's wrong?"
What's wrong, instead of How are you, or How have you been. Maybe she really looked like a mess.
"I mean, I figured I'd ask you, because maybe you thought this way. Or like. You did it more often than-" she waved her hands in an awkward motion. "I dunno. Than the others."
What kind of face was he making at her right now? She wasn't really sure. She fixed her gaze to the ground, and continued.
"So I wanted to ask you."
"I'm listening."
He gestured towards the chair next to his bed. She didn't move.
"Why... Did you choose to come back?"
It was such a... Strange, cruel question. She shook her head.
"Sorry, I meant... Why did you live? Like why... Why didn't you stay dead?"
"Jihye-ya," his voice was still, confused. Lost. "What are you saying?"
She had no reason to study. She fought with her life on the line. She loved so fervently, she lost so much. If the start of the universe was a void, and the end was a wall guarded with beings that made up the night sky, if she surpassed that wall and traversed beyond it, and saved what was left of what she could save, then...
"Why shouldn't I die?"
She asked him something that she hoped he had found the answer to, during those millions of years he lived through in that empty train cabin.
"Why... Do I need to stay alive?"
She prayed he would have an answer, so she wouldn't have to die.