Work Text:
The ice was a glossy white, dimly illuminated by far off streetlights. You slid across, barely keeping balance. Your chunky snow boots kept you grounded in your crouched position.
"Come on, join me!" You beckoned him.
Leon tip toed across the ice, letting out slow huffs of air. A small crackle was made beneath him, tensing his entire body. You laughed, reaching out to him.
"Fuck, this is scary. Why am I doing this." He sighed, grabbing your hand.
"Because its fun? Why else." You smiled, Pulling him in closer. He wrapped his arms around your body, embracing you. Leon smelled of musk and pine. His sheepskin jacket was warm as he wrapped you inside it.
He leaned his head against your wool toque, inhaling the scent of your shampoo.
He loved when you smelled of the warm shower you two shared; when you drew hearts in the fogged mirror after a long shower. He'd stand behind you and draw your names in the same spot he always did. You got it as a tattoo along your upper thigh to celebrate your 5th anniversary. It was a wierd way of marking yourself with Leon, but he loved it. He kissed that spot whenever you were fooling around under the sheets.
You slid across the ice like a less than graceful skater. Leon shoved his hands into his jacket, watching you in awe. You smiled and giggled like you always did in these small moments. Leon wished he could encapsulate the sound of your laugh and play it like a melody whenever he wanted. You were so beautiful for it. Leon glid across the ice, arms splayed out incase of collision. He grabbed your hand and spun you around him, followed with a graceful tipping. He kissed your nose, red and speckled with snow.
Your nose was special to Leon. It was good for rubbing against when he did butterfly kisses. His lashes brushed against yours, lush and soft. Your foreheads would press together and stick with sweat. You would brush his blonde fringe away to feel the warmth of his skin.
"Okay, new game. Show me your best cartoon impression." You said, sitting across from him. The ice was cool and damp gainst your butts, but you didn't mind. Leon didn't mind.
"That's my purse! I don't know you!" He yelled in a shitty southern accent. You burst out laughing, to which Leon covered his face with his hand, flustered.
"No, no it was good! I just didn't expect THAT." You said.
"It was one of the cartoons I could actually watch. I used to say that to my friends all the time and we'd beat down on eachother. Got suspended once..." He sighed.
You laughed "Okay, okay...'Ohana means family. And family means we never get left behind,." You said in a low voice. Leon creased his brows, smiling.
"That was so cute, babe."
"I know, right!"
Leon adored your cartoonish manner. You could be silly at the worst moments, which made it more charming. Whenever Leon was at work, you would call him, talking in shitty accents. His coworkers thought it was invasive, but it made Leon's day. Your voice was better than the monotone pitch of his boss during board meetings.
Leon would leave you messages at work as well, saying ridiculous shit that caught you off guard. One time your answer machine played out loud when you were away.
Leon murmed about sniffing your ears or something to gross you out. Your coworkers listened in interest. When you returned. They gave you strange looks. You didn't realize until after you replayed the message Leon left. You were eachothers wierdos.
"Okay, try this." You laid flat on the milky ice. Your arms and legs swished along the ice, like a snow angel. Leon laid next to you, making ice angels as well. You rested your head against his chest looking up at the dark sky. Leon's warm breathe tickled your ear.
"Your skin is so cold." Leon remarked.
"It's okay. Really, I am fine." You said. Familiar words spoken before.
Leon had been there before. You keeled over the toilet, puking up the contents of your meal. there was blood that stained the seat and bowl. Leon leaned over you, patting your back.
"Show me a star." You said.
Leon squinted his eyes and traced the sky his his finger. "See that line of really small stars? That's Orion.."
"Absolutely bullshit." You stated.
You both burst out laughing.
"See that big star right there? It's followed by the small ones. That's Big Dipper." You waved your hand in the sky. Leon entwined his fingers with yours.
Your legs gave up on you. You collapsed to the ground. Leon rushed to your side, cradling your head.
"Oh my God. We need to get you to a hospital."
You were far too weak to protest. Leon picked you up and laid you in his car. He sped to the hospital, occasionally looking back at you. You awoke in a sterile room. A nurse took your blood pressure and asked how you were. Doctor's eventually came in, taking note of your worsening condition over the months. Leon couldn't stop staring into your eyes, searching for any clarity.
"If I could be any animal? Probably a dog or something" Leon sighed.
"Hm. What would I be?" You looked up at Leon.
"Oh definitely a worm. You inched your little way into my life." He laughed.
You hit his shoulder, creasing your brows.
"Hey, no need for aggression. If you were a worm, I'd put you in my pocket and take you everywhere."
"Okay, Cornball." You snorted.
Spring passed from summer to fall and then winter. Your legs were heavy like lead and your eyes looked sunken in. Leon spent his days bathing you, feeding you, helping you change. Weekly visits to the hospital weren't much help. All they could say was enjoy the time you had with eachother. Leon took that advice to heart.
"I'm so sorry..." You whispered, tearing up. Devastation fell on Leon's face like a weight. He simply kissed your face, and rested his forehead against yours. Your skin was so cold.
"It's time Leon."
"Hm?"
"You won't remember me."
"What?" Leon asked. He froze.
"When you wake up, I'll be gone." You repeated yourself.
Leon sat up, staring down at you.
"Okay, Jerry Seinfeld. Funny. Stop with the edginess." He smirked.
You swiftly stood up and looked down at him.
"I'm not humoring you! I'm serious this time." Your eyes settled with a solemn expression. Leon knew this time you weren't joking.
Leon opened the door to your room. He drew the curtains, allowing the morning light to illuminate your face. Something was wrong. Leon gently tapped your shoulder. Your skin was ice.
"Honey?" He gently cupped your cheek. Nothing.
"Oh fuck." He felt for a pulse. Something so faint beat against his fingers. He rushed to the phone, dialing an ambulance.
"What are you saying?" Leon was confused.
"I am dying Leon. I'm dying in your mind." You said, grabbing his jacket.
Leon held you to his chest, his mind racing.
You laid dormant in yet another hospital bed. IVs hooked into your skin, chaining you to l machines. Leon rested on the edge of the bed, attentive to your state. Nothing for the last two days. Nurses looped in and out, asking him if he needed anything. Doctors came in, checking your pulse. No sign of life in within your marcid body.
"But you're right here. I can feel you." Leon said.
"You feel what you felt then." You explained.
"Please tell me this is a fucked joke of yours."
"Leon, its time." A voice stated.
"What? No. You didn't even try!" He yelled.
"I'm sorry. There's nothing more we can do. Her body is too weak. Life support will only prolong it." The doctor handed him a form. A sign off. To your conscious.
Tears dribbled onto the paper. Leon looked at you. A corpse with a heartbeat. He signed you away.
Leon grabbed your arms "What the fuck is going on?" He yelled.
You cupped his cheek "I will be gone when you wake up." You reminded him.
"But I don't want that." He argued.
You simply smiled "Leon, I'm not here. I'm not real anymore."
What?
Your chest fell for the last time. Leon laid next to you in the cramped bed. He pressed his lips to your forehead, sucking in the last of your life. He entwined his fingers with yours, tracing infinity onto your palm. Forever he was supposed to feel your warmth. Forever you were supposed to share.
You stepped back "This was a good night." You smiled, looking at the sky. The stars were gone.
"I don't want you to go." Leon pleaded. He grabbed your hand. You pulled away from his touch.
"Goodbyes are always hard, Leon." You looked back at him.
"What will I do without you?"
"Live."
Leon slouched back in his chair. Crumpled tissues, bowls, and dirty clothes littered the space. He looked at the small business card that was handed to him by a stranger. Lacuna. He called the number.
"I would like to do go through with it." He verified.
Boxes of your stuff were packed into the back of his truck. Item-by-item, Leon deciphered every piece of time he shared with you. A map of his mind was etched into the computer screen infront of him. Leon returned home with pills and pajamas to use.
He crashed into bed, blurred images of your face in the back of his eyes. He was hooked onto a computer as the machine dissected each memory of his. Deleting one by one. The sleep was a guise.
"I'm leaving now." You turned away.
"Wait." He grabbed your arm "One last time."
"You better mean this one."
Leon trapped you in his arms, His lips crashed into yours. You tangled your fingers in his hair, pushing yourself into him. One last time. He let go of you, almost pushing you away. You turned your back to him. Leon watched as you walked off the ice. Your figure dissapeared into the dark of the night. When he looked up, a singular star, big and bright shone down on him. A goodbye.
"I love you." He whispered.
Leon awoke to an empty room. Early morning shone through the window. Strange. He never left the curtains open. He padded through his house. A clean, minimalist space. The walls, the fridge, the shelves were emptied of clutter. A peace washed over Leon. He didn't know why. He stepped outside. Damp grass tickled his feet. Pinks, Oranges, and blues greeted the sky. He squinted his eyes. In the distant sky, a small orb of light glimmered. A star. the only one left in the dawn sky.
"Goodmorning."