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She had failed her Master. A single shot from behind and the light that was Ky Narec was gone, taken from the galaxy too early, too soon. She was his Padawan– reckless and eager to please, earnest in her thirst for knowledge. As her TEACHER he had taught her that all who die return to the Force. That some, though their numbers were few, could retain their identities even after their passing.
Narec had not been one of those capable of such a thing.
In avenging his death, Asajj knew she had fallen. Fallen from his teachings, the guidance and WISDOM of the Jedi. It was all she’d know for most of her life.
(emotion, yet peace)
She did not feel at peace now.
(ignorance, yet knowledge)
She could not see clearly down the path she was headed.
(passion, yet serenity)
She felt only dread, and ire, and loneliness.
(chaos, yet harmony)
Chaos was all that she knew.
(death, yet the Force)
She didn’t see how the Force could be so cruel.
And suddenly, the sight of the green blade in her hand stirs a pit in her stomach. Guilt overwhelms her, crushes her, leads her down that twisted path. The lightsaber is no longer a symbol of her status as a warrior of the peace. It represented only that which she’s lost, the years of instruction left behind to pursue a larger goal. She would not let such things stop her now.
So she left it behind as well, smashed to pieces on a rock. The Padawan Asajj Ventress is gone– now a new person, stronger than before, may take her place.