Chapter Text
Five years. Five years now since JJ left the BAU, and yet Spencer haven't recovered fully. Maybe he never would. Somewhere along he and Emily developed a tradition: Thursday dinner. It was one of those nights, and the storm was in full swing, thunder crashing at irregular intervals as the rain battered the windows.
"At this rate, if it doesn't stop, the rain will definitely shatter the glass." Emily commented as she set the table while Spencer prepared the meal, which is baked mac and cheese.
"Here you go. This is my first time, so no promises of it being good." Spencer warned as he went to the fridge to get the wine, pouring the two of them a glass.
"Exactly five years today." Emily said quietly after a few moments. "Do you still have her letter?"
Spencer, knowing who Emily was talking about, nodded. "Yes. I wanted to hate her, you know? I wanted to hate her for leaving us. But I can't."
Emily raised an eyebrow. "Why's that?"
"Because I understand." Spencer explained. "I understand where JJ's coming from. Truth is, I'm exhausted. Not physically, but mentally. Emotionally. These deaths, this never-ending cycle of violence... we put someone behind bars, sure, but then another comes up. I understand what she meant when she said she could still see them, still hear them. It's too much. I knew one of us will cave in sooner or later. I was just surprised that it was her."
Emily took a deep breath. "Well, wherever she is, I just hope she's happy."
Silence for a few moments.
"I know it sounds selfish or shallow but, sometimes I wish that she'd show up." Spencer said, voice trembling. "Even for a moment. Just to know she hasn't forgotten us. That's all I want sometimes."
Emily nodded. "That's what I wish, too. Even a letter would be nice. Have you kept the one she sent you?"
Spencer nodded. "It's the last piece of her that I have. You?"
"I kept it, too. I thought it would be like we're erasing her memory if we threw it away."
A heavy silence filled the room. Just then someone knocked.
"Are you expecting visitors?" Emily asked, brows furrowed.
"No. I'll be right back." Spencer picked up his steak knife and cautiously went to the front door. He opened it-and froze. Her hair was a bit shorter now, her hair plastered to her face due to the rain. But despite it all, despite the slight weight loss, he recognized her. Those blue eyes, the blonde hair, and that soft features.
"JJ?" He whispered.